# Blankety Blank, Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank. #
Appearing tonight on Blankety Blank is David Haye,
Esme Young...
..Sarah Hadland...
..Brian Conley,
Alex Jones...
..and Jordan North.
Please welcome your host,
yes, it's me, Bradley Walsh.
# Blankety Blank, Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank. #
See.
Ha-ha. Very, very lovely.
Thank you so much.
Hello and welcome to Blankety Blank, the show where we leave a gap
for you to make up your own jokes. LAUGHTER
All our contestants have to do is fill in the missing blank
to a statement. Whoever matches the most answers with our celebrities
wins some great prizes.
So let's meet tonight's celebrities.
Hello, celebrities.
ALL: Hello, Brad.
LAUGHTER
Right, let's go straight to me old mate Brian.
Welcome to the show, Brian. Thank you very much, Brad.
Did you do the original series?
Yes, with Les Dawson, when it was good and...
LAUGHTER
EastEnders.
Yes.
# Dum-dum, di-di-di-dum. # Congratulations.
What's # Dum-dum, di-di-di-dum? #
That's the way it goes at the end.
It doesn't, it goes, # Du-du-du-du... #
It doesn't go # Dum-dum, di-di-di-dum. #
You can't have a cliffhanger with # Dum-dum, di-di-di-dum. #
Have you been in the cliffhanger yet? On my the first episode, yeah.
But now I'm loving it.
I'm basing it on you, so he's an idiot.
LAUGHTER
OK. You two need to be separated, don't you?
Yes. Yes.
It's like being with two drunk uncles, innit? Yes. Yeah.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Yeah.
It is now time to bring on our first pair of Blankety Blankers,
who want to play Blankety Blank. A round of applause.
APPLAUSE
# Blankety Blank, Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank
# Blankety Blank. #
Lovely stuff, welcome to the show.
Tina and Steven, come to Tina first. Whereabouts are you from, Tina?
I am from London.OK?
What do you do for a living? I'm a nail technician.
Fair enough. All right. You got any hobbies,
or anything you're interested in doing? Eating.
I love eating. I'm not sure that's a hobby.
That's a necessity. Yeah.
How fortuitous, the thing that actually keeps us alive.
Anything else other than eating? Um...
Walking, breathing, that sort of stuff?
LAUGHING: I just like eating.
Can't get fairer than that.
All right. Listen, I wish you luck. Thank you.I really do.
All right, Steven, and welcome to the show.
We're abouts you from? I'm from Liverpool, me, Bradley.
OK, lovely. And what do you do for a living?
I'm a British soldier.Great stuff.
What are you hoping for out of Blankety Blank?
Oh, I would love a camper van, so you can sort me out.
Camper van on Blankety Blank?
LAUGHTER
Talking of prizes, you're both playing for a home barista bundle
in the Super Match game, we're talking coffee machine, cups,
luxury hot chocolate maker and a self-heating mug.
It's a bit like you.
LAUGHTER
And not just that,
we're throwing in a year's supply of coffee beans.
Wow, how about that?
But of course, don't forget,
that's not all you could win in tonight's show.
If you get through to the final, you could be going home
with tonight's star prize, but more of that later.
This is how the game works. I'm going to read you both a statement.
All you have to do is fill in the missing blank.
Our celebrities will also fill in the blank and then we see
how many of them as matched your answer, all right?
Every match will score you a point.
Then the contestant with the highest score at the end, will go
through and play for our budding barista prize.
Are you ready, Tina? Yes. You're going first, all right?
Would you like to be A or B?
A, please.A.
All right, you're playing first. Celebrities, get yourselves ready. Here we go.
Tina, "It was kind of her to knit me something for my holidays.
"But come on, Granny,
"no-one wants a woolly BLANK."
OK.
"It was kind of her to knit me something for my holidays.
"But come on, Granny, no-one wants a woolly BLANK."
OK. Tricky that. "No-one wants a woolly BLANK."
That's it. Put your light on for me, David.
Cheers, dude.
OK, here we go.
"It was kind of her to knit me something from my holidays.
"But come on, Granny. No-one wants a woolly..."
Bikini.Bikini?
Ooh, yes.No, I like that.
All right, let's see how many of you matched, then,
first time around.
Dave, no-one wants a woolly...
I should get this, for real.
Man-kini.
APPLAUSE
Yes, that's a yes.
OK, Esme Young.
Bikini?Bikini, yes, absolutely.
Come on, Sarah, what've you got?
Bikini!
Brian, what've you got?
Lilo.
LAUGHTER
That's a ridiculous suggestion.
How does that work?
How does the air stay in a bit of knitting?
But nobody wants knitted lilos, cos nobody does...
It ain't going to work, is it?
Well, that's true.
OK, Alex Jones, go on, what you got?
I've spelt it wrong, but bikini.
Bikini's great.
Jordan...
Hat.
It's 4-0.
Steven, your turn.
Here we go.
All right.
"David Haye and I have been going to the gym together.
"I don't actually do any exercise.
"He just uses me as a BLANK."
All right. Put that down. Come on, everyone.
Oh, easy. Easy, you think, you think?
"David Haye and I have been going to the gym together.
"Don't actually do any exercise myself, of course.
"He just uses me as a BLANK."
Right, Esme, put your lights on for me, darling. Thank you.
Oh, sorry.OK. "David Haye and I...",
Steven, "..have been going to the gym together.
"I don't actually do any exercise.
"He just uses me as a..."
Punch bag.Punch bag.
That's great. That's great, that. APPLAUSE
Really good.
Dave, "You just used me as a..."
Water boy.
OK, Esme.
Weight.
Sarah.
Punch bag, very good.
Brian, what've you got?
Punch bag.Punch bag. Good.
Alex, what've you got?
Bench press.
OK, Jordan, what've you got?
Punch bag.Punch bag.
Very, very good.
OK.
OK, so, look, you are trailing at the moment, so only 4-3,
that means you go first for the next round, Steven.
Do you want an A or B?
B.B it is.
Now, then, you, Steven,
you can only play with David, Esme and Alex.
Here you go. "A friend of mine ran away with the circus to become
"a human cannonball.
"Unfortunately, he wasn't very good and soon got BLANK."
"Friend of mine ran away with the circus to become
"a human cannonball.
"Unfortunately, he wasn't very good and soon got BLANK."
Yeah.Lights on, Dave.
So, Steven, here we go.
"A friend of mine ran away with the circus to become
"a human cannibal.
"Unfortunately, he wasn't very good and soon got..."
Fired.Fired.
Oh, I like it. "Unfortunately He wasn't very good...", David,
"..and soon got..."
Killed.
LAUGHTER
DAVID: It's pretty obvious.
They don't all have to be happy endings, do they, really?
You're getting fired out of a cannon and you're not good at it either.
What do you expect to happen?
All right, OK.
Esme, "Unfortunately, he wasn't very good and soon got..."
Sacked. But that's a version fired.It is.
Isn't it?
Oh, no, who've we got left? It's Al, innit?
He needs one more to draw, Al.
Please get this, please get it for him.
"Unfortunately, he wasn't very good and soon got..."
What's wrong with them?
Fired.Fired, yes. You're back in the game.
Wow, right, Tina, you only need one... OK.
..and you through to the Super Match to win all that coffee?
Yay.
You can only play with Jordan and Brian.
The others are all out, right?
Tina, "Alex Jones contemplated becoming a plumber
"at one point. Being Welsh, she's a big fan of BLANK."
I don't know.
Yeah, "Being Welsh, of course, she's a big fan of BLANK."
"Being Welsh she's a big fan of..."Yeah.
LAUGHTER
All you've got to do is write it down.
Erm... I've got it.
Got it?
Oh, I've got it.
Let me see.
Oh, yes.
OK, I've done it.
OK, Brian, turn your light on.
Jordan, turn the light on cos you've done it.
All right. Thank you very much. Here we go, Tina.
"Alex Jones contemplated becoming a plumber at one point.
"Being Welsh, she's a big fan of..."
Toilets.
LAUGHTER
We are well known for it.
We'll see if there's a match.
Right, Brian.
Leaks.Leaks, of course.
Yes. Cos it's Welsh vegetable, isn't it?
OK, Jordan, big fan of...
Leeks.
Do you know what that means?
You've both been twice
and it's a draw at 4-4.
We have a tie breaker, everyone.
Can you believe it? I'm going to give you a common phrase
that has a missing blank.
You both need to write down what that blank could be.
All right? Then I'll ask our celebrities also to write
it down at the same time and the first player out of you two
to match with one of our celebrities as I go along the line is the person
going through to the Supermatch to have all the coffee.
Here we go. This is tense, innit? Yes!
Do you know what? Seriously, this is why you pay your licence.
Moments like this.
There's a lot of coffee at stake here.
Steve wanted a camper van.
All right, here we go. Build up the tension, Brad.I will, Bri.
Tina, Steven, Blank, hot blank.
Hot blank.
OK, celebs, write away, please.
Lights on, please.
Thank you very much. OK, Dave, put your light on for me, please.
Thanks, dude. All right, here we go.
David Haye.
Hot... Chocolate.
Chocolate.
Ooh! Esme, hot...
Toddy.
Hot toddy.
Sarah, hot... Chocolate.
Brian, hot... Bed.
Hot bed. No.
Alex Jones, hot...
This is it. Hot cross bun.
No. OK, now, then, one person, Jordan North, stands between one
of you and about eight quid's worth of coffee.
Get ready. Here we go, please.
Jordan, hot... Water bottle.
Oh.
No.
You're joking! I put bottle on the end.
I changed my mind at the last minute.Not one match.
You can cut the atmosphere with a spoon.
OK, here we go. Build up the tension, Brad.
I will. For the Supermatch game for unbelievable amounts of coffee
that we don't need...
Blank sauce.
Put your lights on, please, celebs, thank you.
All right.Esme put your light on when you're done. All right.
Here we go.
David Haye.
Blank sauce.
What I add to most of my meals.
Hot sauce, David's put. It's not.
Esme, blank sauce.
Daddies.Daddies sauce.
BRADLEY SCREAMS
You all right?Bad luck, Esme.
Are you sure?Sarah, blank sauce.
Brown sauce.
What?!
Brian, blank sauce. Hot sauce.
Alex Jones, blank sauce. Tomato sauce.
Please, please, Jord, please.
Blank sauce. Red sauce.
Hang on, what did you put, Tina? Chilli.
OK, what did you put? Worcester-seshire sauce.
That Worcest... I can't even say it.
Worcestershire sauce.
No.
We haven't matched with any
in that round whatsoever. We'll go again. Next one.
OK, build up the tension, Brad.
Remind us of what they're playing for.
Here we go.
Life - L-I-F-E, life blank.
Life blank.
That's a good one. There's not many ways you can go with this.
I think there's only one, maybe two ways you can go this - life blank.
Are we ready? Lights on, please.
Life is flashing before my eyes.
Here you go. Thanks. OK, David Haye.
Life... Story.
Life story. No. Bad luck.
Esme, life... Saving.No.
Sarah, life... Oh, please let it be...
Guard. Yes!
Come on, Tina, come this way.
Listen, I've got to say bad luck, Steven, you don't go home
empty-handed - Blankety Blank chequebook and pen!
Thank you, Steven.
Now, Tina, this is called the Supermatch,
all right? Congratulations.
This is where you could win that coffee, Tina. How exciting.
Has she still not won the coffee?
You can't make her go through more for that coffee.
No, no. Look, what happens now is we play the Supermatch. Right, now,
we asked members of the public to fill in a blank
to a very simple, two-word phrase, all right?
If you manage to match one of the three most popular answers,
you'll win a massive prize.
Have a look at this.
Guess the third-most-popular answer and you win £500.
The second-most-popular answer gets you 750 quid,
but, Tina, the top answer to our Supermatch prize
is this budding-home-barista bundle.
You'll be taking home this sleek bean to cup coffee machine and cups,
of course, a luxury hot chocolate maker, self-heating mug and a year's
supply of coffee beans, everyone! What about that?
Now, then, to make things easier, you can ask three of our celebrities
for help, but you don't have to take their choices.
You can make one up of your own, all right?
First of all, let us reveal the Supermatch.
It is...
OK, so would you like any help, Tina?
Sarah.Sarah, blank sick.
Homesick.
Homesick. That's a good one!
Anybody else?
Alex.Alex? Car sick.
Carsick, homesick, carsick. Anyone else?
David.Dave.
Dog sick.
OK, fair enough.
We have - what was it? - homesick carsick, dog sick.
All right, you don't have to have any of those.
You can have one of your own if you want.
I was thinking of homesick, so I'm going to go for that.
Go for homesick. All right.
Let's reveal the third most popular item for £500.
Let's have a look.
Lovesick. For £750, the second most popular answer is...
Homesick. Homesick.Very good.
750 quid.
Sadly, you won't win the coffee, but you win £750
because the top answer is...
Oh, seasick.Of course it's seasick,
but we'll see you later on, of course, in the head-to-head
all right? Yeah.Tina, everyone! Thank you very much indeed.
Thank you, Tina. What about that?
Right, let's move on and bring on our next pair of Blankety Blankers.
Give them a round of applause.
APPLAUSE
# Blankety blank blankety blank
blankety blank. #
Lovely welcome. Welcome, Mary and Steve, great to see you.
OK, I'll come to you first. Mary, where are you from?
I'm from Ashford in Kent and originally
from the west coast of Ireland.
A place called County Clare. County Clare.
Lovely to see you. OK, what do you do for a living Mary?
I work for Tesco's as a community champion and...
What's a community champion? What's that?
Oh, it's the best job supporting local charities in Ashford
and the surrounding areas.
Oh, that's a great thing to do.
Oh!Have you got any hobbies at all? Anything you do?
Yes, I do a bit of golfing.
Are you a good golfer?
I suppose my claim to fame is I've had three hole-in-ones -
one playing in a competition -
so I've got gold letter writing in Ashford Golf Club.Brilliant show.
Lovely. I wish you luck. Well done, Mary.
Nice to see you. Steve. All right? Whereabouts are you from?
So I'm from Manchester.And what do you do for a living?
So I'm a sales executive for a broadband company
and a part-time fitness model.
AUDIENCE OOHS
If you had a holiday destination, where would it be? Where would
you like to go? Probably going to Dubai. I've been there before.
I loved it.Yeah, OK, fair enough. But I'm open to suggestions.
Maybe we'll win a holiday on this particular show.
We'll be lucky.
You never know.
Or a coffee maker.
You never know, but welcome to the show, and I wish you both
all the very best of luck. All you've got to do,
don't forget, is fill in a missing blank and then write
it down and hopefully match up with the celebrities and you go
through to play the Supermatch game. Simple as that.
The top prize on the Supermatch is the ultimate home sports set.
Yes, we are talking.
Listen to this... Trampoline, table tennis table
and free-standing basketball hoop.
Woo!
All right, Mary, you to go first. What would you like, A or B?
Remembering, of course, some are more difficult than others.
Sure, start with A.OK, A it is.
Thank you very much indeed.
Here we go. Right, team, gang, get ready.
Mary, everyone agrees I'm the life and soul of the party.
People particularly love my new party trick, which is to balance
a pint glass on my blank.
What time does this go out?
Pre-Watershed, Jord.
OK.
Don't forget - put your lights on, please, when you've written
your answer. Let's have a look. Hurry up, Bri.
All right.All right. Here we go.
Now, then, everyone agrees I am the life and soul of the party,
Mary, people particularly love my new party trick,
which is to balance a pint glass on my...
Head.Head.
Oh, OK, head. I can sort of see that. I get that.
Let's see how many of you matched up.
David. Head!
Great!
Esme? Knee.
BUZZER
OK. Sarah.
Head.
Nose.
Sorry.
Chin.No. Jordan.
Head!
Excellent stuff.
Three it is. OK, Steve,
it is now your turn.
All right, here we go, Steve, I wish you luck.
Celebrities get ready. OK.
My wife can't abide noisy snacks at the cinema.
I'm not allowed crisps or nachos,
and she even makes me suck my blank.
My wife can't abide noisy snacks at the cinema.
I'm not allowed crisps or nachos, and she even makes me suck my blank.
Suck my blank.Yeah.
OK. All right. Lights on, then, everyone.
Brian, put your light on. Very good. Right.
Steve, my wife can't abide noisy snacks at the cinema.
I'm not allowed crisps or nachos, and she even makes me suck my...
Biscuits.
I take a packet of Hobnobs.
Here we go. I'm going to find out what you put, right, and she even
makes me suck my... Dave.
Popcorn.
Yeah. Esme.
Lip.
Right, Sarah.
Popcorn. Of course, popcorn. Right.
Thumb.
OK, Al.
Hot dog.Hot dog.
Jordan. Sweets.
See, I was going to go for sweets,
but you suck sweets anyways, do you know what I'm saying?
He has got a point.
All right, so at the moment is three nil to Mary,
so you've got some catching up to do.
Steve, you're going first this time because you're behind.
A or B? A this time.
A this time. OK, here we go.
Celebrities, you're all back in play.
All right, Steve, you ready? Yeah.
You can tell our ice cream man used to be a butcher -
instead of putting a flake in your cornet
he puts a blank instead.
You can tell our ice cream man used to be a butcher - instead of putting
a flake in your cornet
he puts a blank instead.
I think that's tricky.
Oh, Esme likes Dave's one.
Put your light on, please, David. There you go.
All right, so we're all in play.
Steve, you can tell our ice cream man used to be a butcher - instead
of putting a flake in your cornet
he puts a blank instead.
Knife. Oh.
Dave, here we go.
All right.
That's thinking outside the box.
No, it's in the box, completely.
Let's go along the line. He puts a blank instead.
A bone.
Yeah, sausage bone, same shape.
I get it. Sarah.
Sausage. Yes.
Bri. Steak.
A steak? Yeah, it's a long steak.
He doesn't put a flake in your cornet, Al, he puts a...
Lamb chop.Lamb chop.
We're looking for knife. Jordan.
Bone.Bone. Yeah. No.
Which means, of course you are out, Steve.
I'm so sorry. You can't win because you haven't scored.
That is such a shame, but there you are.
That's the way it goes.
Which means, of course,
going through to the Supermatch is Mary, everyone!
Thank you very much, congratulations.
Steve's got to go, folks, but he's not going home empty handed,
he's going home with a Blankety Blank cheque book and pen!
Say goodbye to Steve, everyone. Thank you.
Inexplicably, Mary, we gave members of the public a very simple,
two-word phrase and asked them to fill in the blank, all right?
If you manage to match one of the three most
popular answers given,
of course, you will win a prize.
Have a look at this.
The third-most-popular answer gets you five hundred quid.
The second most popular answer gets you £750.
Thanks, Al, and the top answer wins you the ultimate home sports set
featuring trampoline, basketball and freestanding hoop,
table tennis table and paddles.
All right, now, remember, you can ask for help from any of our three
celebrities. Choose them wisely, for goodness' sake.
OK, let's reveal the Supermatch.
Come on! It is...
All right. Would you like any celebrities to help you?
I'll have David please.
David. Key...
Hole.Keyhole. Perfect. Yeah.
Great.
Keyhole.
Sarah?Key ring.
Yeah, nice, keyhole, key ring.
Alex?Al. Key fob.
Yeah, OK.
Keyhole, key ring, key fob.
Do you want to use one of those or one of your own?
My first reaction was key ring,
so key ring.Key ring you're going for.
OK, well, let's reveal
what the third most popular answer is for £500.
OK, for £750,
second most popular answer...
That was David. And now for the ultimate home sports set.
That's it. The number one most popular answer is...
So you've got the trampoline, the table tennis, the hoop
everything, that's great, but, more importantly, you get to go
on a head-to-head against our first winner, Tina.
And if you win that, one of you is going to go for the grand
final and the massive prize.
That would be unbelievable. You ready to play? I'm there.
OK, Mary, time to bring back Tina, everyone!
It's Tina, everyone!
OK, Mary, take a seat. Thank you very much indeed.
There you are, Tina vs Mary.
It's time for you two to go head-to-head.
I'm going to give you both the same two-word phrase.
All you have to do is fill in the blank.
This time, I want you to write down your answer.
Then I'll ask the same question to our celebrity panel.
The first player to match their answer with the celebrities
will go through to the grand final for a chance to win
tonight's star prize. Take a look at this.
Leave the hustle and bustle of daily life behind with this luxury
Lake District cottage getaway.
Enjoy a relaxing week's break full of peace, quiet
and beautiful scenery.
You'll also be arriving in style with this high-end luggage set
and a deluxe food and drink hamper.
What about it? Isn't it sensational?
Good luck. Here's your head-to-head.
And the phrase is... Get ready, girls.
Come on, guys.
All right, Tina, Mary.
Train...
Train blank.
Don't show each other. Celebrities,
once you've written your answer, please lights up your lights for me.
This is to go through to play for the great cottage giveaway.
Lights on, please, David, Brian.
So I'll go along the line.
OK, here we go. David Haye.
Yes.Train blank...
Station.
Yes!
Mary, well played.
Listen, Tina, don't forget you've still got the £750
from the first Supermatch. Congratulations.
Of course, you also get the Blankety Blank chequebook and pen.
Give her a round of applause!
APPLAUSE
# Blankety blank blankety blank
blankety blank. #
Now, then, we're almost done.
Well done, Mary, congratulations, you're now playing in the grand
final of Blankety Blank to win tonight's star prize, the luxury
Lake District cottage getaway.
You're going to pick just one of our celebrities to play with,
all right? I'll ask you both the question and if your answer
matches theirs, you're going home with a luxury Lake District getaway
with the luggage and everything that goes with it.
Understood? Understood.
I wish you luck. Lighting, please.
Oh, hello!Cool, right? Good luck, Mary.Just have a quick look
round, Mary. Who would you like to play along with?
Oh, I have to go with David
because he's got all my answers, right? So far, we've been aligned.
So far.
OK, here we go.
Keep it nice and serious now.
Just you and David are playing.
Hedge blank.
All right?
Right, tell me when you've done, David.
Oh, I've got an answer.
And I'd rather have written it down, but I don't want her to lose.
All right, you ready? Yeah. Here we go.
So, OK, Mary, I'm going to ask you.
Hedge... Hog.
Hedgehog. OK, David, hedge...
Fund.
I'm so sorry it's not a match. I'm sorry, Mary, but listen,
you know, never mind. Give Mary a round of applause.
APPLAUSE
You've still won the ultimate sports centre, so you'll be at home
there bouncing up and down like a 'un.
And of course, you won the Blankety Blank chequebook and pen.
Pretty good work for a night.
Thank you so much to our celebrity panel...
That's all from us on Blankety Blank.
From me and Mary, goodnight, everyone! Goodnight.