1
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:17,177
[Sarah Silverman] When it's time to make
your voice heard, there's only one choice.

2
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:21,897
Only one strong enough and big enough
for our country's future.

3
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,611
Dick.

4
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,783
Dick isn't afraid to go hard.

5
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,994
And where
others fall short, Dick goes long.

6
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,579
Dick gets it done.

7
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,869
[echoing] Dick is everywhere.

8
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,832
You can trust Dick,
because Dick is in all of us.

9
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:43,747
[man 1] I'm a Dick.

10
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:45,205
[man 2] I'm a Dick.

11
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,795
[woman 1] I'm a Dick.

12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,920
[woman 2] I'm a Dick.

13
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[child] I'm a huge Dick.

14
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[group] We're all Dicks.

15
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,010
[Sarah Silverman] So when the time comes,
don't dick around.

16
00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,643
Vote Dick.

17
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,929
I'm Nicolas Cage,

18
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,847
and I approve this message.

19
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,284
[bleep]

20
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,488
[cat meows]

21
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,448
Oh.

22
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:18,910
And now we've come
to another fucking episode

23
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,865
in our compendium of cuss words.

24
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,245
And this one is unique.

25
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:25,462
It is the only one
that started out as a first name.

26
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,006
Nobody ever named
their firstborn "Shittered" or "Fucklyn."

27
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,549
"Excuse me. Excuse me. Fucklyn,
have you done your homework?"

28
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,684
"Shittered, inside voice, please."

29
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,683
Only "dick" holds this distinction.

30
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It comes from a name.
And that name is Richard.

31
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,515
But why Richard?

32
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,982
Why not Jeffrey?

33
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,152
"Hey, you! Suck my jeff."

34
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,781
Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
What about Daniel?

35
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,488
"Suck my dan--" See? No.

36
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,702
Oh, I know. "Suck my nick."

37
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Yeah.

38
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"Hey, nickhead, eat a nick."

39
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"Don't even think
about nicking me over, nickwad.

40
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Yeah, you wish
you had B.N.E, Big Nick Energy."

41
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:05,919
I could get used to that.

42
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,000
But until I can make
"nick" happen, we're stuck with "dick."

43
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:14,052
A word that has had four different
meanings over the past 500 years.

44
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,894
But what is it
about this word that makes it so…

45
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,970
ubiquitous? [sighs]

46
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,472
[typing]

47
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:23,846
Dick?

48
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,725
-Dick.
-Big ol' dick!

49
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,112
Can you tell me a dick joke?

50
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,898
I used to suck dick for coke.

51
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,363
Now make yourself one, dick weed.

52
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,534
It reduces everybody to a 12-year-old.

53
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,373
Say "dick" or "pussy" and people…

54
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,698
"Dick" is funny. It's sort of the same
structure as the word "fuck."

55
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,865
"Dick" has great phonetics.
Just like a lot of other swear words.

56
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,575
"Dick" is short. It's punchy.

57
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,536
You dick!

58
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:51,335
"Dick" sounds exactly
like a swear word in English should sound.

59
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,721
You can almost make it multi-syllabic.

60
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:54,838
Dey-uck.

61
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:55,934
Dick-uh!

62
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,759
Di-i-ickkk.

63
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,684
I would say my--
my own use of the word "dick"…

64
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:01,853
uh…

65
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:02,931
besides…

66
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,562
intimate exchanges in--
in the bedroom with my wife,

67
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,015
like, "Honey, are you interested in…

68
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,477
conducting business
tonight with this dick?"

69
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:18,238
"Hey, Megan, have…
you seen my dick lately?"

70
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,573
[laughs]

71
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:23,624
"You should check it out.
There's been some developments."

72
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,003
There's not that immediate, like,
taboo thing that happens

73
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,381
when you say "fuck" or "shit"
or "ass" or any of those other words.

74
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,550
Because "dick," like, you do have to have

75
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,589
that, like, moment of pause
where you're like,

76
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:38,219
"Okay, am I talking about
the… the body part?

77
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:42,641
Am I calling someone an asshole?
Or am I just referring to my Uncle Dick?"

78
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,432
[typing]

79
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,600
"Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."

80
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,186
This is one
of my favorite lines of classical poetry

81
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:54,152
from one of ancient Rome's
most beautiful writers, Catullus.

82
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:58,609
It roughly translates to "I will butt-fuck
you and make you suck my dick."

83
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:03,124
"Dick" has been used in art
and literature for thousands of years.

84
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:06,701
So the use of--
of the dick as a sexual tool

85
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:11,208
and words around the dick as a sexual tool
have always really been taboo.

86
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:15,002
[woman] When archaeologists
were excavating Pompeii,

87
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,168
they found the city awash with dicks,

88
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,888
in the graffiti, in the sculpture…

89
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,300
There were dicks everywhere.

90
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,018
So when the archaeologists
removed the dicks,

91
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,810
they put them in
what was called a secret museum,

92
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,895
or a secret cabinet.

93
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:36,859
Can you imagine a museum that's just
filled with all of these stolen dicks

94
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,903
that were chiseled off of statues?

95
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:43,237
I think it's beautiful that this museum,
like many households across America,

96
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:45,244
has a cabinet full of dicks, you know?

97
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:48,746
Personally, I have a
drawer next to the bed, not a cabinet.

98
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:49,750
Um…

99
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,541
A Ziploc bag full of dicks.

100
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:56,344
Not as classy as the museum's, probably.
But it's a pretty impressive collection.

101
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,421
[typing]

102
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,930
We know for sure that "Dick"
started as a nickname for "Richard."

103
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,933
How "Richard" became a nickname
for "junk," is a little more obscure.

104
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,557
So the original naming of "Dick" was--
it was a nickname for "Richard."

105
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,015
Like a lot of names in early England,

106
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,607
there was a lot of rhyming with nicknames.

107
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[Nick Offerman] In the late 1500s,

108
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,738
we get all the English rhyming nicknames.

109
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,583
"Robert" becomes "Rob," then "Bob."

110
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,449
"Margaret" becomes "Meg," then "Peg."

111
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:32,867
And "Richard" becomes "Rick," then "Dick."

112
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,247
Every single person
called Dick is a white guy.

113
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,956
You will never meet
a Black guy called Dick.

114
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,297
Factual. Does not exist.

115
00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:42,592
You lot can have that.

116
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,045
We can dance. [chuckles]
You lot get Dick.

117
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,006
And that's it. [laughs]

118
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,473
So it's a nickname for "Richard"

119
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:53,017
and then it became
used as just a term for "guy."

120
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,022
Like, "Any Tom, Dick and Harry."

121
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,574
Like, "Hey, guy," "Hey, dude."
It's like saying "dude."

122
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,528
Then it gains this interesting meaning.

123
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,989
It refers to a riding whip.

124
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,240
Uh, a riding crop.

125
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,281
And especially
the handle of a riding crop.

126
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:09,405
During the sexually-repressed,
tightly-corseted Victorian era,

127
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,914
people must've been clamoring
for things to call penises.

128
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,786
In theory, someone went,

129
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:17,503
"Riding crops,
oh, riding crops look like penises.

130
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:21,835
And we call riding crops 'dicks,'
so let's call penises 'dicks.'"

131
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:25,893
It's just too bad
they never called riding crops "nicks."

132
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,806
"Dick" is a word that really symbolizes

133
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:36,230
the strength
and the playfulness of the male genitalia.

134
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,652
My favorite word for penis is "dong,"

135
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,691
because it can almost be
like an onomatopoeia, you know?

136
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,947
Like, it suggests sound in a certain way,

137
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,700
sort of just like dong, dong.

138
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,242
-Willy.
-The Package.

139
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,405
My snake eye.

140
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,663
Flesh banana.

141
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:52,584
Johnson.

142
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:53,872
-Meat wand.
-Prick.

143
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,075
Skin flute.

144
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,334
Tallywhacker.

145
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,956
Lightsaber. [chuckles]

146
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,292
-Tackle.
-The National Treasure.

147
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,458
Choad.

148
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,166
-Your lunch box.
-Pud.

149
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,376
Peggy Sue.

150
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:06,675
-Tockleys.
-Gravy Spigot.

151
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,468
Eww.

152
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,973
I believe that's all of them.

153
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,639
It only took
a decade or so for "Dick" to go from

154
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:18,855
the name of the kid you shot marbles with
to a double entendre that made us blush.

155
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:19,858
How?

156
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,731
We've been able to track it changing
from a word that was a nickname,

157
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,858
that described someone named Richard,

158
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:30,065
and then acquiring this profane meaning
where it refers to the male member.

159
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:35,198
But it can also be, uh, just
a denigrating term for people in general.

160
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,578
It's kind of like "asshole."

161
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:39,964
And now no one
would call their baby boy "Dick,"

162
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,128
for fear of being misconstrued.

163
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,592
Very slowly,
this new meaning starts to take over

164
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:50,054
to the point where, by the 1960s or 1970s,

165
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,506
people aren't calling
themselves Dick anymore.

166
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,847
There are lots of Richards
and lots of Ricks.

167
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:58,772
But if you know a Dick, he's
probably in his seventies or eighties.

168
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,613
I don't think Dick will
ever go back to being a nickname.

169
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:05,569
It's hard for words, once they become a
swear word or have a negative association,

170
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,071
it's hard to go back.

171
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,780
In the '60s and '70s,

172
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,075
swearing norms were
being challenged everywhere.

173
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,949
But in America, it was also
the era of tricky Dick Nixon.

174
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,078
Tricky Dick.

175
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,544
That's one of the times it really started
to take hold in the culture.

176
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,206
Just hearing
the word "dick" like that,

177
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,344
because it was his nickname
and a perfect descriptor, I mean,

178
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:29,432
that is the essence
of who Richard Nixon is.

179
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,429
He's "Dick."

180
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,930
Richard Nixon, like,
he is king of all Dicks,

181
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,393
in many senses of that phrase.

182
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:40,394
"Dick" is used to describe a person
who is unpleasant,

183
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,188
or… does antisocial things.

184
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,232
Like, I can annoy
someone with my penis, certainly.

185
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,606
Um…

186
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,991
In a myriad of ways, it's…

187
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:54,623
uh, was one of the special skills
on my résumé, right after tennis.

188
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,830
I think we call people
we don't like "dicks"

189
00:08:56,911 --> 00:09:01,171
because dicks are
famously sort of unseemly.

190
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,919
Like little sand worms
comin' ofrom ut your pants.

191
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,882
We don't like that guy.
What's the ugliest thing I can think of?

192
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:08,884
My penis.

193
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,803
Nixon was hated by the very population

194
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,135
that wanted to make
swearing more acceptable.

195
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:20,181
Much like a "dick," Nixon kept
popping up in places he didn't need to be,

196
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,978
like Vietnam.

197
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,111
As we moved into the more progressive
Gen-X political climate

198
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,149
of the late 1980s and '90s,

199
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,573
the word was strengthened
and became a tool for political change.

200
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,613
-[crowd cheering]
-[Sarah Silverman] The year was 1990.

201
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,317
New Hampshire, USA.

202
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:38,367
A man named Dick Swett decides
he wants to run for Congress.

203
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,579
His opponent, Meldrim Thomson Jr.

204
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:45,131
Meldrim complains to the ballot law
commission that Mr. Swett

205
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:49,589
should appear as his name is listed
in the phone book, Richard Lantos-Swett.

206
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,682
The assumption being, of course,
that idiots will think it's funny

207
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,508
-to vote for a guy named Dick Swett.
-[laughs]

208
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,894
The claim was denied.

209
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:59,811
But Meldrim might have had a point,
because on election day,

210
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,390
Dick Swett won.

211
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,940
I think it's a beautiful comeback story

212
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,941
for someone who was probably tortured
for their name for their entire life,

213
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,985
and then finally had it come back and--
and win them an election.

214
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:16,530
Because let's be honest,
nobody knew the issues in that race.

215
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:22,196
Nobody was paying attention to what
party affiliation Dick Swett was in.

216
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,668
They saw the words "Dick Swett,"
and they're like, "Hell, yeah."

217
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:32,972
Playing with this ambiguity gets harder
as the word's profanity level gets higher,

218
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:37,089
until we hit peak "dick" in the second
half of the 20th century.

219
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,267
So "dick" is still at the vanguard
of censorship battles.

220
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,440
"Dick" is unique because it comes
at its origin from a name.

221
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,440
That's very different
from other profanity.

222
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:52,032
It's special in that context matters
in a way it doesn't matter for "fuck."

223
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,029
There's no one named "fuck"
you could possibly be referring to.

224
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:59,452
There is a sporting goods place
named Dick's Sporting Goods.

225
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:02,243
What were you thinking,
naming a sports shop that?

226
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:08,208
I would be very awkward going there
as a child to get, like, a new volleyball.

227
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,132
We've got a dessert
in, uh, Britain called "spotted dick."

228
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,672
-That looks nothing like my spotted dick.
-[woman] Uh, right!

229
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,586
[man laughs]

230
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,684
They're now going
to call it, uh, "spotted Richard."

231
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,970
It's really nice.

232
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,847
[Nicolas] Let's not forget
a favorite pastime. Dick jokes.

233
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:26,102
Because the word "dick"
makes people giggle so much…

234
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,185
People wanna say
it's double entendre. It's just entendre.

235
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,021
It's not hiding from anything.

236
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:35,897
It's not like you're going, "Oh, I wonder
whatever 'dick' can be ascribed to."

237
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,606
You know what they're talking about.
About somebody's dick.

238
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,948
When you see it in these ways,

239
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,202
it's just people having their cake
and dicking around with it too.

240
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,615
I think every comic has a dick joke.

241
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,115
I don't like eating bananas in public.

242
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,537
That is so stressful
if you're a girl, like…

243
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:54,835
It's so annoying, 'cause it's
such a portable, good snack, you know?

244
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,932
But, like, if you're a girl
and you wanna eat a banana on the bus,

245
00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,508
or wherever you may be… [laughs]

246
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:03,643
…all of a sudden, you're in the position
of like, "How do I de-dick this?"

247
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:04,643
[laughter]

248
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,814
I was primarily, for the first sort of
eight years of my career, just dick jokes.

249
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,314
It doesn't matter, you know,
how old you are,

250
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,107
you can still relate
to a good old-fashioned dick joke.

251
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,281
And I'll tell you somethin'
about the dick jokes.

252
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,490
It's like the rock and roll music, right?

253
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:23,031
It goes away for a while, and they say
it's dead but then it always comes back.

254
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,287
In a stand-up act,
you can do a few good dick jokes,

255
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,580
but they are really hard
to keep up for 15 minutes,

256
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,665
a lot like…

257
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,424
dick.

258
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,001
I'll never forget

259
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,627
the one time I saw my dad's penis.

260
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,715
[laughter]

261
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:41,764
I said, "Dad…

262
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,927
don't text me shit like that."

263
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,894
[laughter]

264
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:51,524
Patton Oswalt has a great joke
about the fact that the word "dick"

265
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,274
is censored on TV
if you're talking about a penis,

266
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,646
but if you're talking
about a guy being rude,

267
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,864
you can say, "He's a dick"
and it won't get censored.

268
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,865
But if you're talking
about your penis being a jerk,

269
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,949
you can say, "My dick is a dick"

270
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,956
and on TV it will say,
"My bleep is a dick."

271
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,880
We have this thing around language
and words we're not allowed to use.

272
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,130
We wanna say them more.
We wanna say them all the time.

273
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,884
When you tell us not to use them,
forget about it.

274
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,796
It's our favorite word of the week.

275
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:26,175
[Nicolas] However, the greatest example
of "dick" in the mainstream

276
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:29,813
came in 2006, with this SNL digital short.

277
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,192
♪ All the fellas out there
With ladies to impress ♪

278
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,190
♪ It's easy to do
Just follow these steps ♪

279
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:39,073
-♪ One ♪
-♪ Cut a hole in a box ♪

280
00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:42,361
-♪ Two ♪
-♪ Put your junk in that box ♪

281
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,776
-♪ Three ♪
-♪ Make her open the box ♪

282
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,576
♪ And that's the way you do it ♪

283
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,830
♪ It's my [bleep] in a box ♪

284
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,961
Saturday Night Live, as a phenomenon,
has always been about pushing boundaries.

285
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,289
And so, why not "Dick in a Box"?

286
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,245
"Dick in the Box" was
a fascinating cultural moment

287
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,796
because it really spoke to

288
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,180
the idea that men think
that their dicks are gifts to women.

289
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,930
It's really a silly thing. Men think
that all the time, in fact.

290
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:12,142
The box is a gift attached to them, and
they're like, "Dick in a box!" You know?

291
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,976
And it's really funny,
because "Dick in a Box"…

292
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,862
They couldn't even say it on television.

293
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,479
They win the Emmy and they can't even say

294
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,237
the name of the skit that wins the Emmy.

295
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,070
And that's how transgressive it is.

296
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:31,115
Just saying "dick"
isn't patently offensive.

297
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,373
Seeing dick, on the other hand…

298
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,328
When you see a dick on screen, like…

299
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,631
full-frontal nudity from a guy,

300
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,132
it's like, "Oh, my God."

301
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,425
I'm gonna sign these titties, so sit back
and watch how it's done, my friend.

302
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,058
I'm gonna get-- Oh, shit! Oh! It's a dick!

303
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,889
I love it. Every time I see-- 'Cause-- I--

304
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,845
I'm so fascinated by them.

305
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:57,515
It's so much more exciting
than seeing a bush.

306
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,935
It's exciting to go back
and watch it in slow motion,

307
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,654
and rewind it over and over
and pause it and study it.

308
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,696
The visual culture of Hollywood is

309
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,699
participating in this
double standard in our culture,

310
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:14,082
whereby dicks are seen
as okay and more acceptable

311
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:18,883
when vulvas aren't yet,
but female nudity is over-represented,

312
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:19,959
compared to both.

313
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,214
I'm that person
watching a sex scene like this,

314
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,666
trying to see if there's a little bulge.

315
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,637
And if there is, I'm happy.
If there's not, then it's not real.

316
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,758
It's fictional. You've ruined everything.
You've ruined television for me. [laughs]

317
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,521
Remember in middle school when

318
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,521
every single teen boy was
obsessed with drawing phalluses?

319
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,725
Why did we do that?

320
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,940
When we see a car
with a light dusting of snow,

321
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:48,276
why is our first instinct to sketch
a penis on that pure white carpet?

322
00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,989
Why did I just draw this?

323
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:56,536
I'll tell you, out of all the swear words,
"dick" is the easiest to draw.

324
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,417
It's the only one that has its own logo.

325
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,380
None of the other ones you can draw
on the back of your school bag,

326
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,051
on someone else, and put
a little piss coming out of it.

327
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,420
Or come, whatever you will.

328
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,936
There's no question that the word
and the image make us laugh.

329
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,189
But don't be fooled.

330
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:27,533
This seemingly silly swear word
still holds a dark power.

331
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,281
I don't wanna
dick-shame anyone,

332
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,373
but dicks get everyone
into a lot of trouble.

333
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,279
[typing]

334
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,787
[Nicolas] What's with dick pics?

335
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:35,868
[London] Dick pics.

336
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,251
I hate 'em. [gags]

337
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,464
"Dick pics" sounds
a lot like a swear word.

338
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,542
It's got the dick in there,
of course, but then,

339
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,377
it's built from two words
that sound very similar,

340
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,263
that have all those consonants in them.

341
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,300
It rhymes. It makes it seem

342
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,471
like the type of thing
that people might remember and repeat.

343
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,974
I haven't sent a dick pic in…

344
00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,137
I would say 15 years was my last dick pic.

345
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,397
I shoot out dick pics
with reckless abandon.

346
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,980
Several of them have been leaked.
The reviews were good, so I left 'em up.

347
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:12,357
We need consent if we're
going to have a-- a just sexual culture.

348
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:16,448
And there is a rule for your dick pics.
Just don't send them without asking.

349
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,785
I was looking on Craigslist
for a… a cleaning person

350
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,422
and I was opening all these ads and
someone was like,

351
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,249
"I clean everything, blah, blah, blah."

352
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:28,714
And I open the ad and it was just a--
it was a massive dick pic. [laughs]

353
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:31,087
And I thought it was just so funny.

354
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,179
It was just so unexpected.

355
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,260
But I-- I take it that most women--

356
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:38,135
I'm married so I don't know,
but I take it that most women

357
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:39,852
do not appreciate them.

358
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:42,853
There's the old joke,
"Why do men name their penises?

359
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,940
They don't want a stranger
making decisions for them."

360
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,443
[Nicolas] How do you reference your penis?

361
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,904
Nicknames for penises are…

362
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,406
lame.

363
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:54,869
But I get it.

364
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,618
It's cute, it's fun.

365
00:17:57,117 --> 00:18:00,867
I don't-- I've never dated anyone
that has had a nickname for their dick.

366
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,464
Wait. Wait, wait. Hold on.

367
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,169
What do I think about nick-- What?

368
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,919
Wait. There are people out there
who don't nickname their dick?

369
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,262
I call my… my dick, uh, "Little Elvis,"

370
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,969
'cause I've got
some shaft hairs on the side,

371
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,470
and it looks like sideburns.

372
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:18,141
Every time I have sex with a guy,
I nickname their dick.

373
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,772
I've called 'em "Bruce."

374
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,138
I've called one "Penelope."

375
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,725
I saw a dick, it definitely looked like
a Penelope. It was very dainty and pink.

376
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:28,192
I have never nicknamed my penis.

377
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:33,033
Um, it has never done anything for me
that would warrant a fun nickname.

378
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,572
It's only gotten me into trouble.

379
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,155
So, no. You don't get a nickname.

380
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,747
You've done well, my friend.

381
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,749
I was actually just talking about you.

382
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:47,883
I am so proud
of all we've accomplished together.

383
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,836
We've been through hell too. [sighs]

384
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,131
There were a few times there I…
I thought I might lose you.

385
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,973
But you always, always came.

386
00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:00,513
Do you mind?

387
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,015
I'm FaceTiming with my accountant.

388
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,767
Did you think-- [sighs]

389
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:10,186
Naughty, naughty, naughty.

390
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,439
"Dick" is such a satisfying thing to say.

391
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,817
It's a satisfying thing to say,
and a satisfying thing to get.

392
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,775
Dick, dick, dick. Nick, nick, nick, nick.

393
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,327
I think it was just fun to say.

394
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,500
I mean, penises are pretty special.

395
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,076
Uh… not to say that they're more special
than anything else, but they are…

396
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:31,594
in fact, used in this
relatively important act

397
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:36,260
that continues
to preserve the species' existence.

398
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:40,348
So I guess you could forgive
a little bit of obsession with them.

399
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,349
This is what I think
about the whole thing.

400
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,891
You can say what you want
about the dick, right?

401
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,401
But we all--
They've stood the test of time.

402
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:53,686
We've been using statues of penises
and different phallic things.

403
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,605
We all like dick in one form or another.

404
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,235
We may not like
the people they're attached to.

405
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,703
In fact, most people don't.

406
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,371
But the actual object
of the penis is a winner.

407
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:10,959
♪ My name is Dick
And I am awesome ♪

408
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,964
♪ Everybody loves me ♪

409
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,967
♪ Because I am awesome
My name is Dick ♪

410
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,971
♪ And I'm really, really awesome ♪

411
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,974
-♪ He's really awesome, yeah ♪
-♪ Uh-huh, my name is Dick ♪

412
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,979
♪ And I am awesome ♪

413
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,981
♪ Oh, yes, my name is Dick
And I'm awesome ♪

414
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,975
♪ Back me up, backup singers ♪

415
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,607
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪

416
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,991
♪ He's really awesome, yeah ♪