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[Music]

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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Hi, Kelly McFarland? My name's Corey.

5
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I got your name from Leah
Colson down the street.

6
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Jim from the Rotary Club
sent me. You know Jim, right?

7
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Yeah.

8
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I came by today, taking a moment of
your precious time, because your friend

9
00:01:08,287 --> 00:01:11,657
did not want you to miss out on
a once in a lifetime opportunity.

10
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The Sebi 570.

11
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I can read your face. Great.

12
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Another door to door salesman.

13
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I already have a vacuum cleaner, Corey!

14
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I know what you're thinking.

15
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All vacuum manufacturers are the same,

16
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and there's no real difference
between their products, right?

17
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,085
- I guess.
- Well, actually,

18
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that's true.

19
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But Sebi's not a vacuum manufacturer.

20
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It was founded by three rocket scientists

21
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at NASA who built a prototype
during their lunch break.

22
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They skipped lunch for four years

23
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until they had a product that
they were not only happy with,

24
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but they could deliver to you for the
remarkable low price of only $279.99.

25
00:01:49,214 --> 00:01:51,571
The Sebi 570 is not simply a vacuum.

26
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It's an investment in a
more promising future,

27
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,685
where the world's problems are solved.

28
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When we all work together.

29
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So Kelly, are you interested?

30
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[door slam]

31
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[door slam]

32
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- Would you take a check?
- Absolutely.

33
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- All right. Great!

34
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Wait. I'll be right back.

35
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[jazz music]

36
00:02:21,514 --> 00:02:23,100
So, how'd you do?

37
00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:25,571
Three. Stuck on triples.

38
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How about you?

39
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Four. Almost five.

40
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Man. You're so hot right now.

41
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I'm locked in, brother.

42
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What's your secret?

43
00:02:33,886 --> 00:02:34,786
I don't know.

44
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,272
It's just coming easy.

45
00:02:36,414 --> 00:02:39,100
It's like I see the sale
before it even happens.

46
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Like Rajon Rondo reading the 'D.'

47
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I know they want to buy it,
and I'm just helping them out.

48
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That's really what it is.

49
00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,000
You're just helping them out?

50
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I'm facilitating their future.

51
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You don't believe me, but it's true.

52
00:02:53,957 --> 00:02:56,114
Look who it is over here.

53
00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:58,228
America's favorite
salesman coming in here!

54
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Is that my buddy? Is that C-Rod?

55
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- Boom!
- Look at that face.

56
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- Look at that smile.

57
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Somebody had a good day.

58
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Man, you know I had a good day.

59
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I always have a good day.

60
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Let's start. I have one order.

61
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Two orders.

62
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Three orders.

63
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Umm, actually... I just had three.

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You actually really had me there.

65
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I was feeling bad about myself.

66
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Yeah, man. Hey man, let's get a table!

67
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So you probably
noticed that I haven't been

68
00:03:27,515 --> 00:03:29,714
hanging out after work
on Thursdays recently?

69
00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:31,500
- No. -No.

70
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Really??

71
00:03:32,786 --> 00:03:34,414
Well, I haven't.

72
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I've been taking a poetry class.

73
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[Corey and Will laugh]

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For real.

75
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My first reading is tomorrow night.

76
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You're both invited.

77
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Why didn't you tell us before?

78
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I don't know.

79
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I thought I might quit to be honest.

80
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Poetry?!

81
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Yeah, I've been getting into it.

82
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I've been looking for something.

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Something more than just making
sales and drinking beer, you know?

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[Will scoffs]

85
00:04:01,273 --> 00:04:03,458
So I figured I'd try poetry.

86
00:04:03,771 --> 00:04:05,414
And it's been hard,

87
00:04:05,657 --> 00:04:10,857
but good. Finding words you
believe in... Express how you feel?

88
00:04:11,114 --> 00:04:13,314
It's way harder than making a sales pitch.

89
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I'm going to be nervous.

90
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So I appreciate it if you guys both came.

91
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Man, you know we'll be there.

92
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Uhh, will the poems rhyme?

93
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No.

94
00:04:26,214 --> 00:04:29,886
So this is like a real cultural
experience type thing?

95
00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:32,029
You're not going to understand everything.

96
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:34,215
Just do your best.

97
00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:35,829
What pentameter you gonna be in?

98
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:36,843
OK, now, just stop.

99
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,657
Acting like he knows what a pentameter is.

100
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You don't know anything
about a pentameter!

101
00:04:40,044 --> 00:04:41,729
- I know haikus, baby!
- What is it?

102
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5-7-5.

103
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OK.

104
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I'm proud of you.

105
00:04:46,571 --> 00:04:49,257
We'll be there with bells
on. To honor our friend--

106
00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:51,043
The next Shel Silverstein!

107
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Yeah, let's go man!

108
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[sounds of laughter]

109
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I'm starving!

110
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[more laughter]

111
00:05:06,943 --> 00:05:09,029
I'll see you all tomorrow, alright?

112
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,329
Alright man. Later.

113
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:17,743
See you tomorrow!

114
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:29,086
[music]

115
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Fuck.

116
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[TV plays]

117
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Will? Is that you?

118
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Yeah, ma.

119
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I'm glad you're home, honey.

120
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I missed you.

121
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Thanks, Mom.

122
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[TV plays] [music fades out]

123
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Today's product: Blade Co. knife sets.

124
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These things are great.

125
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They chop, they cleave, they dice.

126
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Your goal is to sell one an hour.

127
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But before we get into all that,

128
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you may have noticed we
have a new member of the team.

129
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Hi, I'm Tooky. Excited to be here.

130
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:36,450
Well, introduce yourselves!

131
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[they all talk over each other]

132
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:41,717
Great, OK.

133
00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:44,784
Now, which one of you are
going to take her out for training?

134
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You like this job?

135
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:56,617
Why?

136
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,200
'Cause sales has been great to me.

137
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Whether you make it or not in
this business... All depends on you.

138
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You control your own schedule.

139
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Your hours.

140
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,383
There's not a lot of
places like that anymore.

141
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:14,300
Plus, I get to work with my best friends.

142
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,483
How about you?

143
00:07:16,817 --> 00:07:17,950
What got you into it?

144
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,183
This is the only job that
brought me in for an interview.

145
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,100
Hmm.

146
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,283
I was going to New England
School of Design for college.

147
00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:26,783
Oh yeah? Never heard of it.

148
00:07:26,784 --> 00:07:28,033
They don't exist anymore.

149
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:32,450
They folded my junior year, so I have a
lot of student loan debt and no degree.

150
00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:33,150
Damn.

151
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:36,617
I figure if I could start
paying them back now,

152
00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,684
the loan companies will
try and keep me alive,

153
00:07:38,986 --> 00:07:40,900
until I give them everything I owe.

154
00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:43,186
Which should be about the time I turn 93.

155
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:45,186
At least you got a plan, right?

156
00:07:45,187 --> 00:07:46,572
Yeah, I got it all figured out.

157
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:51,000
How you doing today, ma'am?

158
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,000
Get lost.

159
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:53,157
[door slams]

160
00:07:54,271 --> 00:07:54,871
It happens.

161
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:01,586
So you went to New
England School of Design?

162
00:08:01,587 --> 00:08:02,715
Yeah.

163
00:08:03,229 --> 00:08:04,914
So you're like an artist?!

164
00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:07,457
I don't know. I guess.

165
00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:08,900
Cool.

166
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:11,500
I've been getting into art myself lately.

167
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:12,643
Taking a poetry class.

168
00:08:12,729 --> 00:08:14,743
Oh, good for you! I love poetry!

169
00:08:14,857 --> 00:08:15,557
Really?

170
00:08:16,157 --> 00:08:18,400
My class is having
its first reading tonight,

171
00:08:18,401 --> 00:08:19,771
If you're interested.

172
00:08:19,971 --> 00:08:21,043
Uhh,

173
00:08:22,243 --> 00:08:23,529
nah, I'm good.

174
00:08:24,957 --> 00:08:25,743
Okay.

175
00:08:26,929 --> 00:08:27,857
Can I help you?

176
00:08:27,971 --> 00:08:31,514
How are you this morning? My
name is Orlando and this is Tooky.

177
00:08:32,014 --> 00:08:32,929
Orlando??

178
00:08:33,943 --> 00:08:35,343
Your last name is Baxter.

179
00:08:36,314 --> 00:08:37,629
Landy!!

180
00:08:37,814 --> 00:08:40,257
It's me, Sharla Paige!

181
00:08:41,014 --> 00:08:41,886
Let's go.

182
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,172
Oh, no no no...

183
00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:44,872
Come on in.

184
00:08:44,873 --> 00:08:46,129
Please do come in.

185
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,229
So.

186
00:08:50,543 --> 00:08:51,714
What are you selling?

187
00:08:52,043 --> 00:08:53,329
I'm not selling anything.

188
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:57,186
What I do have is an opportunity
that might suit your needs.

189
00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:59,329
How often do you cook meals at home?

190
00:09:00,471 --> 00:09:02,786
I'm sorry. This is hilarious.

191
00:09:02,914 --> 00:09:06,657
See, me and Landy used
to date in high school,

192
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:10,286
and he used to always say he was
gonna be the best salesman in the country.

193
00:09:10,287 --> 00:09:11,257
Ain't that right?

194
00:09:11,671 --> 00:09:13,900
And I was like, babe, that's great.

195
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:18,814
But maybe you should sell your self on
doing your homework from time to time.

196
00:09:18,815 --> 00:09:21,314
Come to class before lunch, maybe??

197
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,014
As you can see, I've
done quite well for myself.

198
00:09:25,015 --> 00:09:26,571
I've done well for myself, too.

199
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,043
I didn't mean it like that.

200
00:09:29,044 --> 00:09:31,643
I was just explaining
to her the situation.

201
00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:35,000
Tooky, would you like a glass of iced tea?

202
00:09:35,829 --> 00:09:36,629
No, thank you.

203
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,343
No?!

204
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,157
Clearly he's training you.

205
00:09:40,386 --> 00:09:43,586
Listen, saying no to a potential client?!

206
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,200
Bad technique. Not good.

207
00:09:46,443 --> 00:09:47,329
I insist.

208
00:09:47,571 --> 00:09:48,571
Hector.

209
00:09:50,086 --> 00:09:50,943
Yes, dear.

210
00:09:50,944 --> 00:09:52,086
Three iced teas.

211
00:09:52,414 --> 00:09:53,114
Okay.

212
00:09:55,071 --> 00:09:56,914
Anyways, as I was saying--

213
00:09:56,915 --> 00:09:58,400
You know something funny?

214
00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:00,757
I worked the trading desk at Goldman Sachs

215
00:10:00,758 --> 00:10:06,000
for 20 years, so I guess in a
sense, I became a salesman too.

216
00:10:06,643 --> 00:10:08,657
Maybe that was your influence.

217
00:10:08,658 --> 00:10:09,400
I doubt it.

218
00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:10,457
Sales at that level,

219
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:12,300
it's a whole different arena.

220
00:10:12,414 --> 00:10:14,086
That's the big leagues there.

221
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:19,829
And I was like Blake Griffin just
dunking on fools until I make partner.

222
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,414
You know, if you ever
want a real challenge

223
00:10:22,415 --> 00:10:25,014
for a change, do something important.

224
00:10:25,171 --> 00:10:26,700
You should try it.

225
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,100
I am important.

226
00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:31,186
I've been the top seller at my
company for the last 11 months.

227
00:10:32,686 --> 00:10:34,257
Cute. Selling what?

228
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:39,386
Diet pills? Tupperware?
Big Mouth Billy Bass?

229
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,271
Honey, what you do is not important.

230
00:10:42,757 --> 00:10:46,014
It just fills people's
beautiful homes with junk.

231
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,114
You know what? Fuck it. I'm out.

232
00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:51,329
Why? So soon?

233
00:10:53,229 --> 00:10:54,500
Nice to meet you.

234
00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:56,571
But you haven't made your pitch yet.

235
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,414
Here's my pitch.

236
00:10:57,415 --> 00:10:59,943
And you better not have
gotten me off my hot streak.

237
00:10:59,944 --> 00:11:01,543
You've been off your hot streak.

238
00:11:04,643 --> 00:11:06,143
Who's that, babe?

239
00:11:06,144 --> 00:11:07,343
Oh, nobody.

240
00:11:07,757 --> 00:11:10,957
But I'm going to need you to
drink all three of those yourself.

241
00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:12,029
OK.

242
00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:13,700
Don't be wasteful.

243
00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:22,457
I mean, this is not your
average day-to-day knife set.

244
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,714
Yeah.

245
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:26,157
You know how I know?

246
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,386
The weight.

247
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,157
Mmhmm.

248
00:11:29,786 --> 00:11:30,900
It's fantastic.

249
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:33,257
It's like a sparrow's wing.

250
00:11:33,258 --> 00:11:34,500
Yeah.

251
00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:39,843
This is, uh...

252
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,757
Japan--

253
00:11:43,657 --> 00:11:45,986
Japanese steel?

254
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,771
Yeah. You're gonna take one, right?

255
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:51,814
Absolutely.

256
00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:52,900
Great.

257
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,500
Let me get some cash.

258
00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:56,000
Okay.

259
00:12:01,014 --> 00:12:06,700
You know, Corey, I might actually
have a little business proposition for you.

260
00:12:08,271 --> 00:12:09,129
Come here.

261
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:09,900
Nah, man...

262
00:12:09,901 --> 00:12:12,129
Come on. Come on, bud.

263
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,343
I'm all set, man.

264
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:15,586
I promise it's worth your time, Corey.

265
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,800
Okay...

266
00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:23,271
It's gonna be worth your time, buddy.

267
00:12:23,272 --> 00:12:24,385
I promise you that.

268
00:12:24,386 --> 00:12:28,071
You know, it's funny, you
are a very good salesman.

269
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:29,985
And I assume you need stuff to sell.

270
00:12:29,986 --> 00:12:35,414
And here I am, with some very
good stuff, and no clue how to sell it.

271
00:12:37,514 --> 00:12:39,371
The Life Tendrils?

272
00:12:39,372 --> 00:12:40,485
It's my book.

273
00:12:40,486 --> 00:12:42,128
Bob Donnelly.

274
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,571
That's me.

275
00:12:44,486 --> 00:12:45,986
What's it about?

276
00:12:45,987 --> 00:12:46,857
Corey...

277
00:12:46,858 --> 00:12:48,086
What's a map about?

278
00:12:48,087 --> 00:12:51,900
Is it about anything, or does it
take you where you need to go?

279
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:55,300
Inside this book, you'll
find life observations,

280
00:12:55,929 --> 00:13:02,243
The secret to living a fulfilling
existence in an otherwise very dark world.

281
00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:03,814
It's really good.

282
00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:06,585
And I was hoping you
would sell it for me...?

283
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,671
Oh no, I don't make decisions like that.

284
00:13:08,672 --> 00:13:10,628
You got to talk to my boss, Tony.

285
00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:12,686
Let's call him.

286
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,314
He's really busy.

287
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,143
He's busy.

288
00:13:21,144 --> 00:13:23,857
- Yeah.
- Well, you're busy. I'm busy, Corey.

289
00:13:23,858 --> 00:13:25,328
We're all busy.

290
00:13:25,329 --> 00:13:25,857
Yeah.

291
00:13:25,858 --> 00:13:27,871
Too busy for the phone, though, huh?

292
00:13:28,586 --> 00:13:29,857
How about this?

293
00:13:30,214 --> 00:13:31,457
Give me his email.

294
00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:33,729
No, man, I don't know about that.

295
00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:35,214
You know, it's just--

296
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,885
Corey, I respect you too
much to waste your time--

297
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:39,442
Okay.

298
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,699
I could tell when you walked
in here: you're an alpha.

299
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,742
I'm an alpha. Okay?

300
00:13:43,743 --> 00:13:45,971
- Yeah.
- Alpha-to-alpha.

301
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:47,457
This is a good deal for you.

302
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,100
- Okay.
- How about this?

303
00:13:49,101 --> 00:13:52,171
I know what gets you going. 40 bucks?

304
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:53,643
40 bucks for what?

305
00:13:53,644 --> 00:13:54,929
You give me his email.

306
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,271
40 bucks for an email.

307
00:13:57,529 --> 00:13:59,500
Oh. Alright.

308
00:13:59,671 --> 00:14:01,829
- Yes!
- Alright, okay.

309
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:03,429
Alright, alright, alright.

310
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:05,200
We got a deal, my friend.

311
00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:07,514
And listen to me, listen to this...

312
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:09,600
- Yeah.
- Because you're such a good guy.

313
00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:11,257
One free copy.

314
00:14:12,443 --> 00:14:14,800
Listen, thank you. But no thank you.

315
00:14:14,986 --> 00:14:18,314
- I appreciate the book.
- Take the book!

316
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,071
- I appreciate your offer--
- And I appreciate you taking it.

317
00:14:21,072 --> 00:14:24,142
- Thank you.
- No, you should take it. Corey!

318
00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:26,828
- Listen-- -Take the fucking
book. Take the fucking book.

319
00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:30,743
- Thank you.
- Thank you!

320
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:31,843
Alright. Okay...

321
00:14:31,844 --> 00:14:33,129
Let me get the cash.

322
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:35,643
Yeah, cool. Sounds good. Get off me...

323
00:14:36,414 --> 00:14:41,286
It was Colonel Mustard with
the lead pipe...To my heart!

324
00:14:42,157 --> 00:14:45,614
Why do I fall for men in art?

325
00:14:45,615 --> 00:14:47,457
[poem continues in background]

326
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:48,986
Yo!

327
00:14:49,357 --> 00:14:50,971
Yo, what's up...

328
00:14:52,671 --> 00:14:54,757
This is great.

329
00:14:55,586 --> 00:14:57,557
I'm so nervous right now, man.

330
00:14:57,558 --> 00:14:59,000
Look at my hands.

331
00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:00,886
Put your hands away, man.

332
00:15:00,887 --> 00:15:01,929
You'll be fine.

333
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:03,372
Yo, Will texted me.

334
00:15:03,443 --> 00:15:05,400
He's not going to be able to make it.

335
00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:07,286
His dad took a turn for the worse.

336
00:15:07,287 --> 00:15:08,600
- Really?
- Yeah.

337
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:09,286
Damn.

338
00:15:10,514 --> 00:15:13,014
- So I think if, uh--
- [crowd begins to snap]

339
00:15:13,015 --> 00:15:19,528
[crowd continues to snap]

340
00:15:19,529 --> 00:15:21,828
Eva, thank you.

341
00:15:21,829 --> 00:15:23,799
Truly moving words.

342
00:15:24,129 --> 00:15:27,286
Next up, we have Chris Tabb.

343
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:30,457
[crowd snaps]

344
00:15:31,243 --> 00:15:33,543
Orlando. Hey!

345
00:15:35,086 --> 00:15:43,086
[romantic music plays]

346
00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:49,171
So excited to hear you read.

347
00:15:49,486 --> 00:15:51,414
He's never even shared in class before.

348
00:15:52,371 --> 00:15:53,543
Hi, I'm Corey.

349
00:15:53,544 --> 00:15:55,000
Hi. Nina.

350
00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:56,671
Ah-hem!!

351
00:16:04,429 --> 00:16:06,200
I think I'm going to be sick.

352
00:16:06,201 --> 00:16:07,200
Yeah.

353
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:14,543
He's resting.

354
00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:15,729
Thanks...

355
00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:22,814
[labored breathing]

356
00:16:24,557 --> 00:16:25,557
Dad?

357
00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:29,129
- Who's there?
- It's Will.

358
00:16:29,929 --> 00:16:31,057
Will Smith?

359
00:16:31,671 --> 00:16:32,829
No your son.

360
00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:33,757
Oh.

361
00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:37,314
I loved him in 'Men in Black.'

362
00:16:37,543 --> 00:16:39,100
Yeah, me too.

363
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,557
So what are you doing here?

364
00:16:41,829 --> 00:16:43,829
They said you took a turn for the worse.

365
00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:45,300
I came as soon as I could.

366
00:16:45,301 --> 00:16:46,914
Is there anything you need?

367
00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:50,657
Come closer.

368
00:16:51,757 --> 00:16:52,986
Yeah?

369
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,957
Closer.

370
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,271
What is it?

371
00:16:56,914 --> 00:16:59,557
Keep breathing on me. It smells good.

372
00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:01,914
Yeah, I had an Altoid on the way in.

373
00:17:02,071 --> 00:17:03,629
Oh, it's nice.

374
00:17:05,957 --> 00:17:07,814
Yeah, that's the stuff.

375
00:17:07,815 --> 00:17:11,343
[breathing deeply]

376
00:17:11,344 --> 00:17:12,872
I know why you're here.

377
00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:14,458
Your mother sent you.

378
00:17:14,459 --> 00:17:16,887
- No. -She's waiting for me to die.

379
00:17:17,643 --> 00:17:20,600
She thinks she's gonna get a nice check.

380
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:21,886
[coughs]

381
00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:24,900
No, Dad, I came here on my own, okay?

382
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:29,786
I know we haven't always been
close, but I want to make up for lost time.

383
00:17:30,171 --> 00:17:33,486
It's not too late for us to
have a relationship, right?

384
00:17:33,871 --> 00:17:35,514
I guess not.

385
00:17:35,829 --> 00:17:38,971
Great. Now what can I do for you?

386
00:17:38,972 --> 00:17:42,214
Is there anything you need to
make yourself more comfortable?

387
00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:44,571
Menthol lights.

388
00:17:44,572 --> 00:17:45,814
Okay...

389
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,328
And better nurses.

390
00:17:47,771 --> 00:17:50,443
The one they sent me... They're not...

391
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,729
Are the nurses here mistreating you?

392
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:54,786
No, they're not attractive.

393
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,457
Ask them:

394
00:17:56,458 --> 00:18:00,471
if Rod Stewart was sick, what
nurses would they give him?

395
00:18:01,129 --> 00:18:02,971
So you want the Rod Stewart nurses?

396
00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:03,685
Yeah.

397
00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:07,871
Okay. I'll ask. Anything else?

398
00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:13,286
I-- Nah, it's too big.

399
00:18:13,643 --> 00:18:15,429
Come on, Dad. What is it?

400
00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:18,171
I've been thinking about the firm.

401
00:18:18,286 --> 00:18:20,043
When I die,

402
00:18:20,986 --> 00:18:23,300
Billy Jenkins takes it over.

403
00:18:23,657 --> 00:18:27,129
It's been in the Noonan
family for a hundred years.

404
00:18:28,229 --> 00:18:32,071
I always hoped... One day.... You know...

405
00:18:32,586 --> 00:18:36,743
Dad, I'm a salesman, not a lawyer.

406
00:18:36,744 --> 00:18:39,057
I've failed the bar 19 times.

407
00:18:39,271 --> 00:18:41,157
We have law in our blood.

408
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:45,371
It was Noonans that tried
Sacco and Vanzetti in 1921.

409
00:18:46,314 --> 00:18:49,600
You always say that. No
one knows what that means.

410
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:51,657
I knew it was too much to ask.

411
00:18:51,658 --> 00:18:52,843
[door knocks]

412
00:18:52,844 --> 00:18:54,086
Mr. Noonan?

413
00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:57,929
- Billy Jenkins is here to see you.
- Send him in.

414
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,772
Jenkins visits you here??

415
00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:02,072
We watch 'Man vs. Food' together.

416
00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:06,471
Alright. I'm taking the bar.

417
00:19:06,472 --> 00:19:08,628
The menthols is fine. Billy!

418
00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:09,942
No, I'm gonna do it.

419
00:19:09,943 --> 00:19:13,456
I'm gonna study and I'm
gonna pass it. For you, Dad.

420
00:19:13,457 --> 00:19:15,756
I'd do anything for you!

421
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,429
You're going down, Jenkins.

422
00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:29,071
Next up, we have Orlando Baxter.

423
00:19:29,072 --> 00:19:32,228
[crowd snaps]

424
00:19:32,343 --> 00:19:34,057
Let's go!

425
00:19:42,371 --> 00:19:45,500
There's a lot of people in here.

426
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:48,686
Excuse me.

427
00:19:49,071 --> 00:19:50,071
[mic screeches]

428
00:19:50,614 --> 00:19:53,557
You guys have to excuse me. I'm nervous.

429
00:19:54,657 --> 00:19:55,814
But...

430
00:20:00,757 --> 00:20:06,686
[lights buzzing]

431
00:20:06,687 --> 00:20:10,672
[crowd gasps]

432
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,900
In short, what I'm saying,

433
00:20:16,901 --> 00:20:22,557
your profession is the
last gasp of a dying society.

434
00:20:22,558 --> 00:20:25,271
You are what America is about.

435
00:20:25,272 --> 00:20:26,871
You are commerce.

436
00:20:26,872 --> 00:20:29,000
Are you even understanding any of this?

437
00:20:32,043 --> 00:20:34,071
- Hi. -Can I help you?

438
00:20:34,072 --> 00:20:36,157
Yes, I'm selling knife sets.

439
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,214
Hey, I know you.

440
00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,743
- Corey, right?
- Yeah.

441
00:20:40,744 --> 00:20:42,343
- And your name was?
- Nina.

442
00:20:42,344 --> 00:20:42,944
Nina!

443
00:20:43,129 --> 00:20:45,929
- How's Orlando?
- Orlando? Oh, Orlando's fine.

444
00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:48,572
We gave him some ice and told
him to write some poems about it.

445
00:20:48,573 --> 00:20:50,572
- Well, I'm glad he's okay.
- Yeah.

446
00:20:50,573 --> 00:20:51,815
What are you selling?

447
00:20:51,816 --> 00:20:53,072
Knife sets.

448
00:20:53,073 --> 00:20:54,472
But since I have you here,

449
00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:58,443
I just want to say I felt like we had
a really good connection last night.

450
00:20:58,444 --> 00:21:02,086
The chemistry was real, and
it's so random that I see you here

451
00:21:02,087 --> 00:21:04,729
and we're having this
free flowing conversation.

452
00:21:05,043 --> 00:21:08,286
I just think we should go out
sometime and have drinks together.

453
00:21:08,671 --> 00:21:10,114
Like a date.

454
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,556
Yeah, sure. If you want to call it that.

455
00:21:12,557 --> 00:21:14,943
And you just happened
to be in the neighborhood?

456
00:21:14,944 --> 00:21:15,843
I was just around.

457
00:21:15,844 --> 00:21:18,186
Did you stop by the
Johnson house before mine?

458
00:21:18,187 --> 00:21:19,857
Yeah. The Johnsons. Nice people.

459
00:21:19,929 --> 00:21:23,100
Well, that house has
been vacant for six months.

460
00:21:23,101 --> 00:21:25,057
Well, who was I talking to then?

461
00:21:25,058 --> 00:21:25,986
Sure. OK.

462
00:21:25,987 --> 00:21:26,800
No, I'm serious.

463
00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:29,314
There's somebody in that
house. We need to call the cops.

464
00:21:29,315 --> 00:21:31,114
I don't trust smooth talkers like you.

465
00:21:31,115 --> 00:21:33,700
I'm not a smooth talker. Bring
a chaperone if you need to.

466
00:21:33,701 --> 00:21:36,914
I'm not trying to trick you into anything.
You bring a friend, I bring a friend.

467
00:21:36,915 --> 00:21:39,114
We go out for a few
hours, have some drinks.

468
00:21:39,115 --> 00:21:42,328
What's the worst that could
happen? At the end of the night,

469
00:21:42,329 --> 00:21:44,414
you have a slightly boring evening?

470
00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:46,786
That's your sales pitch?

471
00:21:46,787 --> 00:21:49,915
Yep. And I didn't even use
any great sales tactics either.

472
00:21:49,916 --> 00:21:52,672
I just... If you let me do it over....

473
00:21:52,673 --> 00:21:54,986
If I say yes, will you get off my stoop?

474
00:21:55,757 --> 00:21:56,729
Definitely.

475
00:21:57,557 --> 00:21:59,557
Then yes.

476
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,929
Cool.

477
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,186
I need you to go on a double date with me.

478
00:22:07,187 --> 00:22:09,100
- With who?
- Orlando's poetry teacher.

479
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,414
Why don't you just ask him to go?

480
00:22:11,415 --> 00:22:14,343
Because he'll be all weird about it.
I really don't want to let him know.

481
00:22:14,344 --> 00:22:15,943
So just go with me.

482
00:22:16,514 --> 00:22:17,786
What's my girl like?

483
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:18,929
I don't know.

484
00:22:19,243 --> 00:22:20,429
When did you get picky?

485
00:22:20,543 --> 00:22:21,986
I want a good Catholic girl.

486
00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:24,815
- Oh God-- -The kind who
likes pizza and brunch...

487
00:22:24,816 --> 00:22:26,372
- Shut up.
- Hey Orlando.

488
00:22:26,373 --> 00:22:28,058
What are you guys talking about?

489
00:22:28,059 --> 00:22:30,444
Nothing. What's up? How are you today?

490
00:22:31,114 --> 00:22:31,986
Terrible.

491
00:22:31,987 --> 00:22:35,700
- I was off. Felt discombobulated.
- Discom-what?

492
00:22:35,701 --> 00:22:38,886
Probably just all those poetry
classes getting to your head.

493
00:22:38,887 --> 00:22:40,386
Just mixing everything up.

494
00:22:40,387 --> 00:22:41,686
No, no. It was Sharla.

495
00:22:41,687 --> 00:22:44,829
Ever since I met her, it
messed me up. Got me thinking,

496
00:22:45,229 --> 00:22:49,400
What's the point of door-to-door
sales? Does it even matter?

497
00:22:49,614 --> 00:22:52,329
Or are we just filling
people's homes with junk?

498
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:55,815
- [Will laughs] Shut up!
- Yeah. I think you need a beer,

499
00:22:55,816 --> 00:22:58,086
to clear your head and
settle everything down.

500
00:22:58,087 --> 00:22:59,600
Hey, can I get a beer, buddy?

501
00:22:59,601 --> 00:23:01,357
- Tooky.
- Hey guys.

502
00:23:01,358 --> 00:23:04,243
How was your first day
of sales? Sell any knives?

503
00:23:04,244 --> 00:23:05,243
Yeah.

504
00:23:05,244 --> 00:23:07,386
How many sets? Like 3? 4?

505
00:23:07,557 --> 00:23:09,129
23, I think.

506
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:10,886
- [Orlando spits out his beer]
- 23?!

507
00:23:10,887 --> 00:23:12,229
Is that good?

508
00:23:12,230 --> 00:23:15,086
Is that good?! That's
like four off the record!

509
00:23:15,087 --> 00:23:18,029
She's a natural! Boom!

510
00:23:19,457 --> 00:23:21,471
Tooky, come on up here.

511
00:23:21,472 --> 00:23:24,542
She had the best first day in history.

512
00:23:24,543 --> 00:23:26,428
Give her a nice round of applause.

513
00:23:26,429 --> 00:23:28,699
[they clap]

514
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:32,985
Tooky, you keep selling like that?
You're gonna surpass this man.

515
00:23:33,214 --> 00:23:34,343
Who's that?

516
00:23:35,271 --> 00:23:36,971
That's Brad Mastrangelo!

517
00:23:36,972 --> 00:23:39,414
The best saleman Boston's ever seen.

518
00:23:39,415 --> 00:23:40,528
Legend!

519
00:23:40,529 --> 00:23:42,971
Watching him work was
like watching DaVinci

520
00:23:43,243 --> 00:23:46,343
compose one of his operas
right before your very eyes.

521
00:23:47,114 --> 00:23:50,071
You keep it up and I'm
going to start calling you Brad!

522
00:23:50,072 --> 00:23:52,171
- No, you will not.
- No, I will not, ma'am.

523
00:23:53,043 --> 00:24:01,043
[music plays]

524
00:24:27,550 --> 00:24:28,817
Dang it!

525
00:24:28,818 --> 00:24:30,500
Wait, why is she wearing heels?

526
00:24:30,950 --> 00:24:32,250
Hey assholes.

527
00:24:32,567 --> 00:24:34,367
She needs bowling shoes.

528
00:24:34,368 --> 00:24:35,400
Yeah, we're on it.

529
00:24:35,650 --> 00:24:37,017
They smell funny.

530
00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:39,683
Are you serious? I
cleaned those shoes myself.

531
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:41,583
Well, then you did a bad job.

532
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,683
No, they're fine.

533
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,083
See?

534
00:24:46,450 --> 00:24:47,900
Just please put those on.

535
00:24:47,901 --> 00:24:50,617
Can we get another round
of beers, please? Thank you.

536
00:24:50,618 --> 00:24:53,717
I thought we were going
out-out. Not bowling.

537
00:24:53,718 --> 00:24:55,067
We are out-out.

538
00:24:55,068 --> 00:24:58,000
It's an activity. Every
first date needs an activity.

539
00:24:58,433 --> 00:25:00,367
Nina, you're up.

540
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:06,950
So, I've been developing
this new technique.

541
00:25:06,951 --> 00:25:10,617
As soon as a person answers the
door, I ask if I can use the bathroom.

542
00:25:10,618 --> 00:25:13,884
Then I find reasons not to
leave until they buy something.

543
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,150
Yeah. Can we not talk
about work right now?

544
00:25:17,151 --> 00:25:18,400
What do you guys do?

545
00:25:18,867 --> 00:25:21,733
We offer customized retail
solutions for everyday people

546
00:25:21,734 --> 00:25:23,433
in the comfort of their own homes.

547
00:25:23,434 --> 00:25:24,967
What does that mean?

548
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:27,017
We're door-to-door salesman.

549
00:25:28,883 --> 00:25:30,383
What does that mean?

550
00:25:32,717 --> 00:25:33,867
Your turn, Will.

551
00:25:33,883 --> 00:25:35,383
Thanks.

552
00:25:43,017 --> 00:25:44,417
You got a spare?

553
00:25:45,417 --> 00:25:47,783
Wow, OK! You're not bad at this.

554
00:25:47,784 --> 00:25:50,483
- I've dabbled in bowling.
- Dabbled??

555
00:25:50,484 --> 00:25:52,500
Yeah, one of my hidden talents.

556
00:25:52,501 --> 00:25:56,100
Interesting. What other
hidden talents do you have?

557
00:25:56,883 --> 00:25:59,550
Hey! Take your arm away.

558
00:26:00,083 --> 00:26:00,900
Excuse me??

559
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:02,367
That's my chaperone.

560
00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:04,450
More like your attack dog.

561
00:26:04,517 --> 00:26:06,367
GRRRRR!

562
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,350
Did you guys see that?

563
00:26:09,367 --> 00:26:10,117
Perfect strike.

564
00:26:11,250 --> 00:26:15,267
Nobody saw it?? OK, I see how it is.

565
00:26:17,417 --> 00:26:19,000
Corey, you're up.

566
00:26:20,133 --> 00:26:22,767
GRRRRRRRR.

567
00:26:28,950 --> 00:26:32,083
REEEOW! REEEEOW!

568
00:26:33,283 --> 00:26:34,283
MEOW!

569
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,133
[Will makes cat sounds]

570
00:26:40,883 --> 00:26:44,817
Don't embarrass yourself.
If I hit this: date number two.

571
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,000
You want to grab a drink?

572
00:26:53,533 --> 00:26:54,317
I can't.

573
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:55,700
Why not?

574
00:26:55,917 --> 00:26:57,433
I got to be up early tomorrow.

575
00:26:57,434 --> 00:26:59,733
I'm teaching college freshmen at 8am.

576
00:26:59,734 --> 00:27:02,950
College freshmen?? They're
gonna be out later than you.

577
00:27:03,683 --> 00:27:07,567
I'm telling you no, but we
should meet up again. Soon!

578
00:27:08,617 --> 00:27:09,617
Yeah??

579
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:12,950
Yeah. You enjoyed yourself, right?

580
00:27:12,951 --> 00:27:14,267
Yeah.

581
00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:17,300
Yeah. Satisfaction guaranteed,
or you get your money back.

582
00:27:18,117 --> 00:27:19,133
That's my promise!

583
00:27:20,050 --> 00:27:21,683
You know who else is having fun?

584
00:27:21,684 --> 00:27:22,683
Who?

585
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,933
Oh! They're getting after
it in there. My boy Will!

586
00:27:37,871 --> 00:27:40,257
[they both laugh affectionately]

587
00:27:40,286 --> 00:27:41,571
Oh my God...

588
00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:42,971
Oh shit!

589
00:27:45,357 --> 00:27:46,929
You're awesome.

590
00:27:47,086 --> 00:27:49,143
Promise not to fall in love with me.

591
00:27:49,986 --> 00:27:51,386
Okay.

592
00:27:54,614 --> 00:27:55,714
[offscreen] Will??!

593
00:27:55,814 --> 00:27:57,729
- Who's that??
- It's nobody. We're good.

594
00:27:57,730 --> 00:27:59,858
[offscreen] Sweetheart, is that you?

595
00:28:02,629 --> 00:28:03,743
Oh my God.

596
00:28:03,744 --> 00:28:05,514
Will, honey.

597
00:28:05,515 --> 00:28:07,585
- Oh my God!
- [offscreen] Will, honey!

598
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:10,343
I'm so sorry. He did not tell
me he was with someone.

599
00:28:10,344 --> 00:28:12,714
Oh, Madison. Stop! It's--

600
00:28:12,715 --> 00:28:14,671
- Mom!!
- Who's that?

601
00:28:15,029 --> 00:28:16,614
It was a girl.

602
00:28:17,871 --> 00:28:20,443
She thought you were my
wife. You scared her away!

603
00:28:20,444 --> 00:28:22,300
I'm sorry, dear.

604
00:28:23,014 --> 00:28:26,229
Come back. It was a misunderstanding!

605
00:28:26,230 --> 00:28:31,415
[Madison makes sounds of panic]

606
00:28:31,416 --> 00:28:33,244
[wolf HOWLS]

607
00:28:33,314 --> 00:28:35,186
Did you get her number?

608
00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:36,371
It's okay, Ma.

609
00:28:36,586 --> 00:28:38,657
There's pork chops for you in the fridge.

610
00:28:39,457 --> 00:28:40,143
Thanks.

611
00:28:43,471 --> 00:28:44,929
I saw Dad the other day.

612
00:28:45,429 --> 00:28:46,929
What's he want?!

613
00:28:46,930 --> 00:28:48,057
He's not doing well.

614
00:28:48,571 --> 00:28:51,300
And he wants me to
take the bar exam again.

615
00:28:51,301 --> 00:28:54,229
Bar?! You're a salesman.

616
00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:58,329
I know, but I think I might do it.

617
00:28:59,157 --> 00:29:03,329
Well, whatever you decide, I support you.

618
00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:04,871
Thanks, Ma.

619
00:29:04,943 --> 00:29:05,943
Go eat!

620
00:29:07,286 --> 00:29:09,029
Today we have a new product.

621
00:29:11,143 --> 00:29:12,271
Jesus.

622
00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:14,500
This book was written by a local author

623
00:29:14,614 --> 00:29:17,257
and he's agreed to give us
a majority of the proceeds.

624
00:29:17,557 --> 00:29:21,000
So if we sell a lot of these,
we're going to make huge dough.

625
00:29:21,300 --> 00:29:22,957
I met this guy. He's crazy.

626
00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:24,400
No one's gonna buy them.

627
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:26,957
[mocking] No one's gonna buy him.

628
00:29:27,443 --> 00:29:29,271
Are you salesmen or aren't you?

629
00:29:29,514 --> 00:29:31,757
Brad Mastrangelo could sell anything:

630
00:29:31,758 --> 00:29:35,114
shoe umbrellas, bags of
sand, pre-peeled bananas.

631
00:29:35,629 --> 00:29:38,986
He once sold an AK-47 to the Dalai Lama.

632
00:29:39,114 --> 00:29:41,771
And you're telling me
you can't sell a book?

633
00:29:42,843 --> 00:29:43,643
You're right.

634
00:29:43,771 --> 00:29:46,343
Look, I'm not asking you to read it.

635
00:29:46,344 --> 00:29:48,072
We don't have all week.

636
00:29:48,073 --> 00:29:51,658
But, I have written down
some major talking points,

637
00:29:51,659 --> 00:29:53,344
so you have something to say:

638
00:29:54,343 --> 00:29:57,443
One: all celebrities are lizard people.

639
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:58,771
What?!

640
00:29:58,772 --> 00:30:04,314
Two: lizards are using TikTok videos
and vape pens to hypnotize our children.

641
00:30:04,657 --> 00:30:09,400
Three: in nine years, the world
will be destroyed by a tidal wave.

642
00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:10,329
[Corey groans]

643
00:30:10,529 --> 00:30:12,171
You're gonna do great.

644
00:30:13,086 --> 00:30:15,871
Uhh... Let me show you this part:

645
00:30:18,086 --> 00:30:22,214
And then the lizards remove their
spaceships from the Earth's core

646
00:30:22,215 --> 00:30:26,257
and they fly away just
before the tidal wave hits...

647
00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:28,828
Uhh...And destroys the planet.

648
00:30:31,257 --> 00:30:33,157
What do you guys think about that?

649
00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:35,943
Wow. That is really weird, right hun?

650
00:30:36,514 --> 00:30:40,057
This can be a great gag gift.
Something funny for your co-workers.

651
00:30:40,058 --> 00:30:41,100
Please leave.

652
00:30:41,357 --> 00:30:42,186
Okay.

653
00:30:42,329 --> 00:30:44,743
Do you have anybody else in
the area who'd be interested?

654
00:30:44,744 --> 00:30:46,157
Because, neighbors-wise--

655
00:30:46,158 --> 00:30:49,943
- Look we are a religious family.
We're not into this sci-fi shit.

656
00:30:49,944 --> 00:30:51,872
- Oh, I'm religious too.

657
00:30:51,873 --> 00:30:54,986
Just anybody else around here
you think would want to buy the--

658
00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:57,043
- Don't ever come here again.
- Wow.

659
00:30:57,044 --> 00:30:59,686
Okay. Uhh...alright.
Thank you for your time.

660
00:31:00,829 --> 00:31:02,357
God bless you. Because--

661
00:31:02,358 --> 00:31:03,357
[door slams]

662
00:31:06,129 --> 00:31:08,943
Hey! Hey! Come here.

663
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:10,543
What?

664
00:31:10,544 --> 00:31:13,100
Please! Come here.

665
00:31:16,071 --> 00:31:17,343
I want to buy your book.

666
00:31:17,344 --> 00:31:20,229
My wife, she's a little
brain-washed. She doesn't get it.

667
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:23,272
She reads the news,
she votes. I'll take a copy.

668
00:31:23,983 --> 00:31:25,350
Uhh...I don't know.

669
00:31:26,083 --> 00:31:27,267
Come on.

670
00:31:27,268 --> 00:31:29,567
The world is fucked.
You know it and I know it.

671
00:31:29,568 --> 00:31:31,200
And if it's in print, it's proof.

672
00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:34,717
Uhh...okay, let's do it.

673
00:31:34,718 --> 00:31:37,017
Yes. Thank you, thank you.

674
00:31:37,133 --> 00:31:40,250
This is perfect. You are
waking up the world, man.

675
00:31:40,251 --> 00:31:41,133
If you say so.

676
00:31:41,134 --> 00:31:43,250
No, no, don't be humble.

677
00:31:43,251 --> 00:31:43,851
Mmhmm.

678
00:31:44,083 --> 00:31:47,333
You are a patriot. You're
like Paul Revere and...

679
00:31:47,334 --> 00:31:48,483
The other guys.

680
00:31:48,484 --> 00:31:51,183
Please. I'm just an everyday
door-to-door salesman...

681
00:31:51,467 --> 00:31:53,500
Who does accept cash tips!

682
00:31:53,833 --> 00:31:55,600
Yeah. Yes you do.

683
00:31:57,833 --> 00:31:59,033
I'm not crazy.

684
00:31:59,650 --> 00:32:01,333
It's the world that's crazy.

685
00:32:02,183 --> 00:32:03,183
I'll take two.

686
00:32:03,184 --> 00:32:04,316
Okay...

687
00:32:05,517 --> 00:32:07,567
I want copies for all my grandkids.

688
00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:10,033
Yo, this shit is dope.

689
00:32:10,034 --> 00:32:12,066
Do you take cash?

690
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,900
There's no doubt in my mind,
everything you just said is 100% true.

691
00:32:25,901 --> 00:32:26,700
Really?

692
00:32:27,433 --> 00:32:30,483
I saw a lizard person
once, in the park over there.

693
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,833
It beckoned me to follow it.

694
00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:36,233
I think it wanted to have sex with me.

695
00:32:36,234 --> 00:32:37,183
[Will laughs]

696
00:32:37,633 --> 00:32:38,617
What's so funny?

697
00:32:38,717 --> 00:32:40,200
Oh! Nothing.

698
00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:42,533
I'm sure it wanted to have sex with you.

699
00:32:42,767 --> 00:32:46,083
Look, this is back when I was
25 pounds lighter. OK, asshole?

700
00:32:46,333 --> 00:32:48,783
So you could take your
fat-shaming and go fuck off.

701
00:32:48,784 --> 00:32:51,033
I did not mean-- I
will fuck off. I'm sorry--

702
00:32:51,034 --> 00:32:53,516
Hey, but before you
do, can I get two copies?

703
00:32:54,933 --> 00:32:56,400
Yo, this book is crazy, man.

704
00:32:56,401 --> 00:32:58,400
This is my best morning of sales ever.

705
00:32:58,401 --> 00:33:00,017
It's like I barely even
have to sell anything.

706
00:33:00,018 --> 00:33:01,284
People are just putting money in my hands.

707
00:33:01,285 --> 00:33:03,401
I already made $400
today - straight commission!

708
00:33:03,402 --> 00:33:04,468
$432!

709
00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:06,433
$440.

710
00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:09,350
Damn. She got me, O.

711
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:11,067
How about you?

712
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:12,500
Twenty.

713
00:33:12,767 --> 00:33:14,267
$420? That's not bad!

714
00:33:14,268 --> 00:33:16,750
No. Twenty.

715
00:33:18,033 --> 00:33:19,283
20 dollars??

716
00:33:19,284 --> 00:33:20,833
That's like two books.

717
00:33:20,834 --> 00:33:22,116
I'm cold.

718
00:33:23,117 --> 00:33:24,817
There's cold, and then there's arctic.

719
00:33:24,818 --> 00:33:27,134
Yeah, you trying to
audition for 'Frozen 3'!

720
00:33:27,135 --> 00:33:28,134
Yeah, what are you, like, uh...

721
00:33:28,135 --> 00:33:31,517
Penguin or something out
there in the North Pole, and...

722
00:33:32,650 --> 00:33:34,683
This guy can't sell a book!

723
00:33:35,033 --> 00:33:37,000
It's just not the Orlando I know, man.

724
00:33:37,001 --> 00:33:38,850
It's like, you of all people...

725
00:33:38,851 --> 00:33:43,017
I know. Just every house
I go to, I feel the pressure.

726
00:33:43,350 --> 00:33:49,667
And so if you buy this
book, it's a really good book.

727
00:33:49,668 --> 00:33:52,584
Umm... The, the--

728
00:33:52,585 --> 00:33:54,601
Font! Is big...

729
00:33:54,602 --> 00:34:00,351
And the pages are nice and...thick!

730
00:34:00,352 --> 00:34:02,101
Are you feeling okay?

731
00:34:02,102 --> 00:34:04,784
- Yeah!
- You look like you're going to pass out.

732
00:34:04,785 --> 00:34:07,067
No, no, I'm fine.

733
00:34:07,583 --> 00:34:10,933
I just-- Oh, thank you.

734
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:16,117
I'll get my mojo back! You guys
want to grab some beers tonight?

735
00:34:16,118 --> 00:34:17,800
Uhh, I can't. I got a date.

736
00:34:17,801 --> 00:34:18,767
With who??

737
00:34:18,768 --> 00:34:20,800
A girl! I don't know.

738
00:34:21,317 --> 00:34:22,317
Okay...

739
00:34:22,450 --> 00:34:23,433
I'm studying.

740
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:25,450
Studying?? For what?

741
00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:27,433
Just...studying.

742
00:34:27,667 --> 00:34:30,067
Who are you guys right now? Tooky??

743
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:33,434
I have a yoga class and then I'm
going to get groceries, pay some bills...

744
00:34:33,435 --> 00:34:37,601
You know, normal adult activities
that you guys never seem to bother with.

745
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,800
Fuck.

746
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,717
I guess I'll be drinking alone.

747
00:34:46,229 --> 00:34:54,229
[music]

748
00:35:43,367 --> 00:35:43,967
Wow.

749
00:35:44,283 --> 00:35:46,800
We found another one of
your hidden talents, huh?

750
00:35:46,801 --> 00:35:48,667
[they laugh]

751
00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:50,950
Any others you like to share?

752
00:35:53,150 --> 00:35:54,333
Actually...

753
00:35:56,317 --> 00:35:57,917
Check this out.

754
00:36:01,233 --> 00:36:02,150
[Corey groans]

755
00:36:02,233 --> 00:36:04,483
- What the fuck is that?
- What do you mean?

756
00:36:04,484 --> 00:36:05,483
It was for Halloween.

757
00:36:05,484 --> 00:36:07,083
I did the costumes and the makeup.

758
00:36:07,517 --> 00:36:10,367
Yeah, but why would you
choose this? Why this one?

759
00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:12,117
I did it because I wanted to.

760
00:36:12,233 --> 00:36:15,233
I used to be really into
horror makeup and costumes.

761
00:36:15,234 --> 00:36:16,383
Like in the movies.

762
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,300
Yeah, look at the details on this one.

763
00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:21,033
Yeah, I get it. You're
talented. It's just...

764
00:36:21,034 --> 00:36:24,950
Stuff like this... It gives me nightmares.

765
00:36:24,951 --> 00:36:27,550
So... like you'll be dreaming about me?

766
00:36:27,551 --> 00:36:28,550
[Corey laughs]

767
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:32,533
You and Freddy Krueger.

768
00:36:32,534 --> 00:36:35,033
[Nina laughs] OK...

769
00:36:38,933 --> 00:36:40,050
[Freddy voice] Hello Corey.

770
00:36:40,051 --> 00:36:41,000
Oh, God.

771
00:36:41,001 --> 00:36:42,567
Are we giving you nightmares?

772
00:36:42,568 --> 00:36:44,167
Oh my God. You're ridiculous.

773
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:52,500
[TV cartoons play]

774
00:36:54,801 --> 00:36:56,450
I'm taking the bar again, Dad.

775
00:36:56,733 --> 00:36:58,000
Test is this weekend.

776
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:00,450
Bye-bye sales life.

777
00:37:01,267 --> 00:37:04,183
I'll be honoring the Noonan
family name from now on.

778
00:37:04,184 --> 00:37:06,350
[clears throat] Objection, your honor.

779
00:37:06,783 --> 00:37:08,967
Prosecution moves to acquit.

780
00:37:09,117 --> 00:37:10,000
Hold on, uh...

781
00:37:10,317 --> 00:37:13,200
Objection. Prosecution moves to acquit.

782
00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:15,350
What do you think?

783
00:37:18,383 --> 00:37:19,550
Television.

784
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:21,717
Yeah?

785
00:37:22,333 --> 00:37:23,267
How do they do it?

786
00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:25,783
It amazed me as a kid.

787
00:37:26,750 --> 00:37:29,417
I figured I'd understand
it when I get older.

788
00:37:30,983 --> 00:37:31,850
Now, I'm grown,

789
00:37:32,233 --> 00:37:33,767
I still don't have a clue.

790
00:37:35,283 --> 00:37:37,433
What kind of meds do they have you on?

791
00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:39,500
Ask my nurse,

792
00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:41,250
Randy.

793
00:37:41,667 --> 00:37:43,000
What's that, Mr. Noonan?

794
00:37:43,267 --> 00:37:44,200
Nothing.

795
00:37:46,633 --> 00:37:50,250
Last night, I dreamt me, Randy,

796
00:37:50,767 --> 00:37:53,550
and Farrah Fawcett were
doing each other's hair.

797
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,733
What's the difference between
a salon and barbershop?

798
00:37:58,433 --> 00:38:00,317
Is it the amount of gel they use?

799
00:38:00,633 --> 00:38:03,200
Can we go back to what I was
talking about a second ago?

800
00:38:03,201 --> 00:38:05,433
- Farrah Fawcett?
- Becoming a lawyer!

801
00:38:06,283 --> 00:38:07,833
What do you want me to say?

802
00:38:10,183 --> 00:38:11,567
That you're proud of me.

803
00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:17,233
I even understand the picture screen.

804
00:38:17,783 --> 00:38:18,617
That's pixels.

805
00:38:19,367 --> 00:38:21,500
But how do they make
it go through the air?

806
00:38:21,501 --> 00:38:22,500
Dad!

807
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,783
Come back when you pass.

808
00:38:26,250 --> 00:38:27,400
I'm tired now.

809
00:38:30,650 --> 00:38:31,250
Okay.

810
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:44,067
Jenkins, the next time you see
me, I'm gonna be your fucking boss.

811
00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:56,300
[music plays]

812
00:39:20,751 --> 00:39:24,300
[sing] Two lizard
people, sitting in a tree--

813
00:39:24,301 --> 00:39:28,250
L-I-Z-A-R-D.

814
00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:32,783
Orlando.

815
00:39:34,183 --> 00:39:36,667
Why aren't you working
on your opening exercise?

816
00:39:37,033 --> 00:39:39,133
Because the poems aren't coming for me.

817
00:39:39,433 --> 00:39:41,150
Every word I think of feels...

818
00:39:42,267 --> 00:39:43,117
Inefficient.

819
00:39:44,267 --> 00:39:45,433
I mean, detrimental.

820
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:47,417
I mean, bed.

821
00:39:47,833 --> 00:39:49,883
Just put something on the page.

822
00:39:50,267 --> 00:39:51,800
You might surprise yourself.

823
00:39:52,683 --> 00:39:54,650
Are you coming to our reading tomorrow?

824
00:39:55,967 --> 00:39:56,900
Why not?!

825
00:39:57,283 --> 00:39:58,300
I'm not ready.

826
00:39:58,467 --> 00:39:59,533
Yes, you are.

827
00:39:59,817 --> 00:40:01,883
You're just psyching yourself out.

828
00:40:02,767 --> 00:40:04,000
Corey says that, too.

829
00:40:06,017 --> 00:40:08,917
Corey is my friend that came
with me to the last reading.

830
00:40:10,383 --> 00:40:11,017
I know.

831
00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:13,467
He's just like you. Tells it like it is.

832
00:40:14,367 --> 00:40:16,250
- But for me sometimes...
- Hold on!

833
00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:19,367
Has he still not told
you that we're dating?

834
00:40:23,817 --> 00:40:27,433
Me and Corey have been
on several dates. Five, in fact!

835
00:40:27,434 --> 00:40:29,083
He talks about you all the time.

836
00:40:29,084 --> 00:40:30,550
Says you're best friends.

837
00:40:31,333 --> 00:40:33,933
- We are.
- And yet he still hasn't told you about me?

838
00:40:34,334 --> 00:40:36,783
Isn't that troublesome?

839
00:40:36,784 --> 00:40:38,466
I mean, strange?

840
00:40:38,467 --> 00:40:39,899
I mean, a little fucked up?

841
00:40:43,783 --> 00:40:45,783
You got me in the doghouse, bro.

842
00:40:46,517 --> 00:40:47,450
It's not cool.

843
00:40:47,883 --> 00:40:50,867
You can't be mad at me. You
didn't tell me you were a thing.

844
00:40:50,868 --> 00:40:52,450
Yeah, because you turn it into drama.

845
00:40:52,451 --> 00:40:54,933
I didn't turn it into drama!
You turned it into drama.

846
00:40:54,934 --> 00:40:56,583
Alright, let's just take a deep-

847
00:40:56,584 --> 00:41:00,833
Roses are red, violets are blue, I
love the teacher and she loves me too.

848
00:41:00,834 --> 00:41:03,400
- Man, shut up!
- Come on with that bullshit!

849
00:41:03,401 --> 00:41:04,400
Break it up!

850
00:41:04,401 --> 00:41:11,083
[they argue]

851
00:41:12,983 --> 00:41:15,967
What the hell is going on here? Fighting??

852
00:41:16,517 --> 00:41:18,983
We should be loving, not fighting.

853
00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:20,200
Look what I got!

854
00:41:20,533 --> 00:41:21,400
Munchies!

855
00:41:21,483 --> 00:41:26,983
These are because we are having
the best sales month in company history.

856
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,783
You guys are selling your asses off.

857
00:41:30,750 --> 00:41:32,083
Well, most of you...

858
00:41:32,383 --> 00:41:34,117
A lot of it has to do with Tooky.

859
00:41:34,467 --> 00:41:39,950
She is having a rookie year
paralleled only to Larry Bird.

860
00:41:40,417 --> 00:41:41,700
You're killing it, Took.

861
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:45,500
And The Life Tendrils?
Selling like hot cakes.

862
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,867
I've even seen people on the
street with the outfits from the cover.

863
00:41:50,117 --> 00:41:51,450
- Yeah, -Crazy, right?

864
00:41:51,583 --> 00:41:53,733
So to show his appreciation,

865
00:41:54,283 --> 00:41:58,167
Bob Donnelly has invited Corey
and I to a little shindig tonight.

866
00:41:58,168 --> 00:42:01,017
Oh, God. Pass.

867
00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,334
No, you will not pass. It's not an option.

868
00:42:03,335 --> 00:42:04,767
That dude creeps me out!

869
00:42:04,768 --> 00:42:08,000
It's a party! There'll be regular
people there. You're coming.

870
00:42:08,001 --> 00:42:10,017
And now do you know what it's time for?

871
00:42:10,967 --> 00:42:12,317
Munchies!

872
00:42:21,083 --> 00:42:22,400
Show me the normal ones.

873
00:42:22,533 --> 00:42:23,900
Hey, Bobby!

874
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:28,483
Tony! Corey! You guys made it.

875
00:42:31,317 --> 00:42:33,017
I've got to show you around.

876
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,867
I need to grab a drink first.

877
00:42:34,883 --> 00:42:37,367
- A little lush!
- Yeah. Can be.

878
00:42:37,368 --> 00:42:41,567
Well, you're in luck, because I
make the best Moscow mules

879
00:42:41,568 --> 00:42:43,417
this side of St. Petersburg.

880
00:42:43,418 --> 00:42:46,367
- Alrigh then! Let's try 'em.
- Let's try 'em!

881
00:42:51,283 --> 00:42:52,567
Recognize these??

882
00:42:52,568 --> 00:42:54,384
Hey, it's our knives!

883
00:42:54,617 --> 00:42:56,417
They are unbelievable.

884
00:42:56,418 --> 00:42:58,900
I use them for everything.

885
00:42:58,901 --> 00:43:03,967
Bob, I got to say, I am really
impressed with the turnout.

886
00:43:03,968 --> 00:43:06,417
Tony, please. It is all thanks to you.

887
00:43:06,733 --> 00:43:09,083
I mean, these books?
People are loving them.

888
00:43:09,084 --> 00:43:12,350
They're flying out of
the boxes. I am making--

889
00:43:12,883 --> 00:43:14,683
No. Don't do this, Bob.

890
00:43:14,684 --> 00:43:16,283
This is not business time.

891
00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:17,966
This is play time.

892
00:43:17,967 --> 00:43:24,350
So I'm going to need you boys to
grab your mules. And go mingle!

893
00:43:26,117 --> 00:43:28,149
This is a very cool group.

894
00:43:28,150 --> 00:43:30,233
Get out there. Come on.

895
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,983
And it was, like, so on the money...

896
00:43:34,217 --> 00:43:37,183
So incredibly true. I can't
even tell you. It was like--

897
00:43:39,767 --> 00:43:40,867
Can I help you?

898
00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:44,267
I was just trying to see if it was real.

899
00:43:44,268 --> 00:43:46,517
Please! Continue.

900
00:43:46,967 --> 00:43:51,567
I've always said you three? The
best posture I've ever seen in my life.

901
00:43:52,567 --> 00:43:54,349
I love to see you three together.

902
00:43:54,350 --> 00:43:55,899
And by the end of the night?

903
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:57,750
We've all kissed.

904
00:43:58,250 --> 00:44:02,433
Okay? If you haven't kissed each
other and I haven't kissed you?

905
00:44:02,434 --> 00:44:04,666
I'm going to be very upset.

906
00:44:05,083 --> 00:44:08,483
Rihanna, Mariah Carey
are definitely lizard people.

907
00:44:08,484 --> 00:44:12,766
Beyonce? A lizard person.
Kelly Rowland? A lizard person.

908
00:44:12,767 --> 00:44:17,099
Michelle? Now you might find
this interesting. Not a lizard person!

909
00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:19,716
That's why Destiny's Child broke up.

910
00:44:23,167 --> 00:44:25,633
Ever since reading the
book? I gotta tell you:

911
00:44:25,634 --> 00:44:26,900
I feel fantastic.

912
00:44:26,901 --> 00:44:30,317
I mean, everything I read, it
just feels so personal for me--

913
00:44:30,318 --> 00:44:32,850
Are you from around here?

914
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,917
Yeah, I'm from Medford.

915
00:44:36,583 --> 00:44:38,000
Seeing anybody?

916
00:44:39,467 --> 00:44:41,017
Does that answer your question?

917
00:44:41,018 --> 00:44:42,050
Five people!

918
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,200
The fuck you looking at?

919
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,600
- Is this the line for the bathroom?
- Yeah.

920
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,467
There's gotta be somewhere else...

921
00:45:04,417 --> 00:45:07,550
Excuse me. Excuse me.

922
00:45:15,133 --> 00:45:17,150
Oh shit!

923
00:45:23,933 --> 00:45:26,083
What is this?

924
00:45:30,550 --> 00:45:31,350
Corey??

925
00:45:34,983 --> 00:45:36,600
- Hey.
- What are you doing?

926
00:45:36,601 --> 00:45:38,133
I was looking for the bathroom.

927
00:45:39,233 --> 00:45:42,517
Well, then you are very lost, my friend.

928
00:45:42,817 --> 00:45:45,317
All you're going to find here...

929
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,417
Is my cash!

930
00:45:49,633 --> 00:45:50,983
How great is this?

931
00:45:50,984 --> 00:45:53,150
I didn't even see any cash. That's crazy.

932
00:45:53,151 --> 00:45:54,667
You want to know where I got it?

933
00:45:54,668 --> 00:45:56,900
- Where?
- It's the members' dues.

934
00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:58,150
It's my whole model.

935
00:45:58,151 --> 00:46:00,600
- Wow.
- I sell the book at a loss.

936
00:46:00,601 --> 00:46:03,567
Get the people in the door
with the incredible ideas.

937
00:46:03,568 --> 00:46:08,234
And then when their eyes are open to
the truth and they want to stick around?

938
00:46:08,235 --> 00:46:10,967
Well, then it's going to
be a weekly members' due.

939
00:46:10,968 --> 00:46:13,434
So how much are they paying you?

940
00:46:14,150 --> 00:46:15,382
A lot.

941
00:46:15,383 --> 00:46:17,400
And I'm selling supplements.

942
00:46:17,401 --> 00:46:19,817
The cures for various maladies.

943
00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:23,117
We're talking depression, anxiety, uhh...

944
00:46:23,483 --> 00:46:26,550
- Diarrhea.
- Diarrhea!

945
00:46:26,767 --> 00:46:31,483
And very often, an extra
loyalty fee proves necessary

946
00:46:31,484 --> 00:46:35,383
when certain members
are lacking in conviction.

947
00:46:35,384 --> 00:46:37,916
All told, my friend,
we're talking millions.

948
00:46:38,817 --> 00:46:39,983
They're paying you?

949
00:46:40,883 --> 00:46:42,617
No! These are my angels.

950
00:46:43,117 --> 00:46:44,750
They don't have to pay.

951
00:46:45,067 --> 00:46:46,633
This is Jordan.

952
00:46:47,383 --> 00:46:50,450
And here we have... Hel-?

953
00:46:54,167 --> 00:46:57,917
Heather! Heather Weintraub!

954
00:46:57,918 --> 00:46:59,317
We were just...

955
00:47:00,967 --> 00:47:05,700
Well, I'm mentoring them on the body.

956
00:47:06,017 --> 00:47:07,483
Things of that nature.

957
00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:10,217
You're welcome to stick around, Corey...

958
00:47:10,218 --> 00:47:12,034
If you're free?

959
00:47:12,035 --> 00:47:13,534
Yeah. No, no. Thanks man.

960
00:47:13,535 --> 00:47:15,434
Come on, Cor!

961
00:47:15,435 --> 00:47:17,067
- Corey?
- That's nasty.

962
00:47:17,068 --> 00:47:18,250
Bye Corey!

963
00:47:18,583 --> 00:47:20,300
We shouldn't sell these books anymore.

964
00:47:20,301 --> 00:47:22,083
Bob is a shady, shady scammer.

965
00:47:22,717 --> 00:47:23,350
I like him.

966
00:47:23,351 --> 00:47:26,183
He's running a cult or something
and taking advantage of young women

967
00:47:26,184 --> 00:47:28,200
and probably doing all
other kinds of creepy shit.

968
00:47:28,201 --> 00:47:30,200
- How do you know?
- Because I saw it myself!

969
00:47:30,201 --> 00:47:31,950
So we just take your word for it?

970
00:47:31,951 --> 00:47:34,533
Because what I see is the
money in my bank account.

971
00:47:34,717 --> 00:47:36,650
If I keep paying off my
student loans like this.

972
00:47:36,651 --> 00:47:39,483
- I can go on vacation by the time I'm 45.
- Where are you thinking?

973
00:47:39,484 --> 00:47:40,966
- Jamaica.
- Nice.

974
00:47:40,967 --> 00:47:42,266
Jamaica, mon!

975
00:47:42,267 --> 00:47:44,083
Will, will you get my back here?

976
00:47:44,084 --> 00:47:47,116
Well, I like to think of
myself as the type of guy

977
00:47:47,117 --> 00:47:51,933
who takes the high road in these
scenarios. But? I agree with Tooky.

978
00:47:51,934 --> 00:47:54,083
We're making great money right now, and

979
00:47:54,084 --> 00:47:57,300
legally speaking, we're not
really doing anything wrong.

980
00:47:57,301 --> 00:48:01,400
Seriously?? I'm not even gonna
ask Orlando to get my back.

981
00:48:01,401 --> 00:48:03,917
- He's still pouting about yesterday.
- Correct.

982
00:48:04,633 --> 00:48:06,867
But also you're my friend.

983
00:48:07,083 --> 00:48:10,400
And in solidarity, I refuse
to sell the books as well.

984
00:48:12,917 --> 00:48:13,917
Solidarity!

985
00:48:13,918 --> 00:48:16,767
- You were barely selling any to begin with.
- Nevertheless!

986
00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:19,650
Alright, I'll stop selling the book too.

987
00:48:20,350 --> 00:48:23,017
- In solidarity.
- Solidarity!

988
00:48:23,018 --> 00:48:23,734
Whatever.

989
00:48:23,967 --> 00:48:27,783
Tooky will keep selling the books
and we'll give you something else to sell.

990
00:48:27,784 --> 00:48:30,800
We must have some old
inventory around here somewhere.

991
00:48:31,517 --> 00:48:32,483
Ah.

992
00:48:34,933 --> 00:48:38,683
Coolers. 35 cents commission
for every one you sell.

993
00:48:41,467 --> 00:48:42,233
Enjoy!

994
00:48:42,467 --> 00:48:50,467
[music]

995
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,867
I got coolers, ya'll. Anybody home?

996
00:49:06,868 --> 00:49:08,834
Anyone? They're orange coolers...

997
00:49:09,567 --> 00:49:10,717
Dammit!

998
00:49:10,718 --> 00:49:12,584
So let me get this straight.

999
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:14,567
You need water coolers?

1000
00:49:14,850 --> 00:49:16,350
6 to 8 of them, probably.

1001
00:49:16,683 --> 00:49:19,167
And everybody in here wants more water?

1002
00:49:19,633 --> 00:49:21,233
They're dying of thirst.

1003
00:49:21,317 --> 00:49:22,883
But you're not interested?

1004
00:49:23,050 --> 00:49:24,517
I want water coolers.

1005
00:49:24,833 --> 00:49:26,633
I just don't want them from you.

1006
00:49:27,633 --> 00:49:28,750
Really?

1007
00:49:38,067 --> 00:49:39,533
Is this seat taken?

1008
00:49:40,717 --> 00:49:42,200
What does it look like?

1009
00:49:43,150 --> 00:49:44,000
[she scoffs]

1010
00:49:48,550 --> 00:49:49,750
See ya.

1011
00:50:07,283 --> 00:50:08,983
You're Brad Mastrangelo.

1012
00:50:11,167 --> 00:50:14,017
Greatest salesman alive.

1013
00:50:14,433 --> 00:50:17,483
What are you doing down
here amongst the common folk?

1014
00:50:19,300 --> 00:50:20,533
Field research.

1015
00:50:21,267 --> 00:50:26,800
Most people today, they need the
boob tube or some fancy video games

1016
00:50:26,801 --> 00:50:28,800
to get their entertainment.

1017
00:50:29,133 --> 00:50:33,167
But me? I just go where
the people are and watch.

1018
00:50:34,417 --> 00:50:35,517
Look at this.

1019
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,383
Isn't this wonderful?

1020
00:50:50,867 --> 00:50:51,600
I guess.

1021
00:50:51,950 --> 00:50:56,533
And as a bonus? Whole
bowl of bar nuts: 50 cents.

1022
00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:01,183
Hey, I'm a salesman too.

1023
00:51:02,300 --> 00:51:04,083
Just on a cold streak right now.

1024
00:51:05,133 --> 00:51:06,500
Do you have any tips?

1025
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:09,867
Of course.

1026
00:51:10,633 --> 00:51:11,350
Beat it.

1027
00:51:13,900 --> 00:51:15,033
What's the trouble?

1028
00:51:16,467 --> 00:51:18,333
I've just been stuck in my head.

1029
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,467
I was out for nine hours today.

1030
00:51:20,468 --> 00:51:22,100
I didn't sell one cooler.

1031
00:51:22,683 --> 00:51:23,683
Let me guess.

1032
00:51:24,033 --> 00:51:26,300
You're starting to
think about things like,

1033
00:51:26,301 --> 00:51:28,467
what's the point of door-to-door sales?

1034
00:51:28,468 --> 00:51:30,717
- Yes!
- Does what we're doing even matter?

1035
00:51:31,167 --> 00:51:34,333
Or are we just filling people's
houses with worthless crap?

1036
00:51:34,334 --> 00:51:36,683
- Exactly.
- I've seen this before.

1037
00:51:37,267 --> 00:51:41,283
You're having so many thoughts that
you're losing sight of the big picture.

1038
00:51:41,817 --> 00:51:43,017
You've got to remember,

1039
00:51:43,018 --> 00:51:44,717
we're just here to help people!

1040
00:51:45,050 --> 00:51:47,850
We're just trying to make
their dreams become reality.

1041
00:51:47,851 --> 00:51:50,100
Right! We're just helping!

1042
00:51:50,101 --> 00:51:51,533
It's like hypnosis.

1043
00:51:51,983 --> 00:51:55,417
The only people that get hypnotized
are the ones that are willing.

1044
00:51:55,418 --> 00:51:57,000
Our customers are the same.

1045
00:51:57,617 --> 00:52:01,350
They're hoping we convince
them to buy what they want.

1046
00:52:02,033 --> 00:52:05,183
And they're Americans,
so they want everything.

1047
00:52:05,617 --> 00:52:09,717
You're just looking for that
simple little push to get them there.

1048
00:52:10,267 --> 00:52:12,233
Take my friend Chet, the bartender.

1049
00:52:12,967 --> 00:52:15,383
Chet likes his life. Good hours.

1050
00:52:15,384 --> 00:52:16,700
Plenty of women.

1051
00:52:16,950 --> 00:52:18,083
Free bar nuts.

1052
00:52:18,583 --> 00:52:20,350
But things could always be better.

1053
00:52:20,567 --> 00:52:23,367
What do you think Chet
hates most about his job?

1054
00:52:23,683 --> 00:52:26,083
- People who drink too much.
- Correct. What else?

1055
00:52:26,700 --> 00:52:27,717
Sticky fingers?

1056
00:52:27,718 --> 00:52:29,067
No. Chet?

1057
00:52:29,217 --> 00:52:30,700
People that don't tip.

1058
00:52:31,683 --> 00:52:33,633
He's the only guy behind that bar.

1059
00:52:33,634 --> 00:52:35,283
Constantly making drinks.

1060
00:52:35,284 --> 00:52:39,550
Anytime that drink doesn't lead to
cash, it's taking money out of his pocket.

1061
00:52:39,867 --> 00:52:41,583
- Make sense?
- Sure.

1062
00:52:41,833 --> 00:52:45,933
Now there's a common situation
which Chet's two least favorite things

1063
00:52:45,934 --> 00:52:47,583
threaten simultaneously.

1064
00:52:48,267 --> 00:52:50,217
Chet, tell me if this sounds familiar.

1065
00:52:50,218 --> 00:52:53,134
Two drunk people walk
up and they order water.

1066
00:52:53,700 --> 00:52:57,233
You know you're not gonna get a tip,
but you want to keep them hydrated.

1067
00:52:57,234 --> 00:52:59,450
You don't want them to get too shitfaced.

1068
00:52:59,451 --> 00:53:03,183
So you go over and you pour
them the free glasses of H2O

1069
00:53:03,184 --> 00:53:05,466
while other orders are standing by.

1070
00:53:05,467 --> 00:53:07,516
- Does this ever happen?
- Mmhmm.

1071
00:53:08,433 --> 00:53:12,150
It might not sound like much, but
imagine that happens a few times a night.

1072
00:53:12,151 --> 00:53:13,683
Six shifts a week.

1073
00:53:13,684 --> 00:53:15,616
It's over a thousand times a year.

1074
00:53:15,617 --> 00:53:17,716
It's pretty goddamn annoying, right Chet?

1075
00:53:17,717 --> 00:53:19,949
- Well, yeah.
- You're a professional.

1076
00:53:19,950 --> 00:53:23,232
Why should you have to take care
of these self-destructive people?

1077
00:53:23,233 --> 00:53:26,349
Not just for free, but at
your personal expense?

1078
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:27,983
I shouldn't.

1079
00:53:29,567 --> 00:53:33,183
Chet, what if I told you I could
alleviate this problem forever-

1080
00:53:33,184 --> 00:53:35,766
at the cost of maybe two cocktails?

1081
00:53:36,167 --> 00:53:37,317
I'm interested.

1082
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,583
Have a barback fill this up.

1083
00:53:42,584 --> 00:53:44,566
Set it up down the end of the bar.

1084
00:53:45,167 --> 00:53:46,733
Not bad. How much?

1085
00:53:47,550 --> 00:53:48,817
$20.

1086
00:53:49,833 --> 00:53:50,483
Sold.

1087
00:53:55,150 --> 00:53:57,350
Hey, that's my cooler.

1088
00:53:57,351 --> 00:53:59,100
Yeah, but I made the sale.

1089
00:53:59,567 --> 00:54:03,033
Don't worry, kid. I think your
cold streak is coming to an end.

1090
00:54:03,034 --> 00:54:05,083
Enjoy my nuts.

1091
00:54:12,850 --> 00:54:15,683
You wanna see the biggest
houseboat in Boston?

1092
00:54:15,684 --> 00:54:17,200
[she laughs]

1093
00:54:21,517 --> 00:54:22,517
Wow.

1094
00:54:26,050 --> 00:54:27,450
My name is Sasha.

1095
00:54:27,700 --> 00:54:29,100
I like to eat fudge.

1096
00:54:29,250 --> 00:54:32,433
I love my mommy and my turtle named Fudge.

1097
00:54:32,717 --> 00:54:34,083
Very good.

1098
00:54:34,983 --> 00:54:37,350
I rhymed "fudge" with "Fudge."

1099
00:54:37,351 --> 00:54:39,367
Great! Who's next?

1100
00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:42,750
Umm... Okay, Colin, go ahead.

1101
00:54:49,300 --> 00:54:51,317
First of all, this one doesn't rhyme.

1102
00:54:51,318 --> 00:54:52,650
[the class groans]

1103
00:54:53,367 --> 00:54:55,267
I feel like a real dope.

1104
00:54:55,268 --> 00:54:58,000
The truth is, I've never
been in love before.

1105
00:54:58,001 --> 00:55:00,250
That's not an excuse. I'm just saying.

1106
00:55:00,550 --> 00:55:05,200
I didn't know that tingle that runs down your
spine when the other person looks at you.

1107
00:55:05,201 --> 00:55:08,650
Those goose bumps when you
wake up, see them asleep at your side,

1108
00:55:08,651 --> 00:55:10,633
and realize this is real.

1109
00:55:10,634 --> 00:55:12,383
What we have is special.

1110
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:15,767
I was afraid to mess it up
because it was powerful.

1111
00:55:15,867 --> 00:55:17,500
So I acted like a child.

1112
00:55:18,117 --> 00:55:18,983
No offense...

1113
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:20,733
And messed up anyway.

1114
00:55:21,100 --> 00:55:24,800
You don't owe anything, but I
just had to let you know how I feel.

1115
00:55:24,801 --> 00:55:29,183
So if you're not interested,
just shut the window and I'll go.

1116
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:32,183
What?

1117
00:55:32,583 --> 00:55:33,417
The window.

1118
00:55:38,633 --> 00:55:39,233
Oh.

1119
00:55:39,467 --> 00:55:42,467
I wrote that poem about me and you.

1120
00:55:43,567 --> 00:55:44,717
Yeah, I get it.

1121
00:55:44,718 --> 00:55:45,600
Hello?

1122
00:55:45,601 --> 00:55:48,567
Oh. Colin helped me with the words.

1123
00:55:50,633 --> 00:55:51,967
Don't just stand there.

1124
00:55:51,968 --> 00:55:53,984
Are you gonna take him back or not?

1125
00:55:53,985 --> 00:55:54,717
I...

1126
00:55:57,483 --> 00:55:59,333
I guess I'll give it another try.

1127
00:55:59,334 --> 00:56:01,883
[class says 'awwww']

1128
00:56:05,067 --> 00:56:06,250
I love love.

1129
00:56:06,251 --> 00:56:08,100
I'll give that clown six weeks.

1130
00:56:11,650 --> 00:56:15,017
At 9am, I get the call
whether I passed the bar.

1131
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:21,150
My whole life could
change in three minutes.

1132
00:56:22,533 --> 00:56:23,567
Will?

1133
00:56:24,433 --> 00:56:25,433
Yeah Ma?

1134
00:56:26,917 --> 00:56:30,050
When you're a high-powered, fancy lawyer,

1135
00:56:30,567 --> 00:56:33,550
do you think you'll still
live with your mother?

1136
00:56:35,633 --> 00:56:37,717
Of course, Ma!

1137
00:56:37,718 --> 00:56:38,967
[cell phone rings]

1138
00:56:38,968 --> 00:56:40,650
8:58! They're early.

1139
00:56:41,683 --> 00:56:43,817
Will Noonan speaking!

1140
00:56:45,767 --> 00:56:46,983
What?

1141
00:56:47,700 --> 00:56:48,300
No.

1142
00:56:49,333 --> 00:56:50,333
I'll be there.

1143
00:56:53,767 --> 00:56:55,200
Did you pass?

1144
00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:57,383
It's Dad.

1145
00:56:59,967 --> 00:57:02,017
I'm here. How is he?

1146
00:57:02,850 --> 00:57:06,250
His vitals are all over the
place. It does not look good.

1147
00:57:06,717 --> 00:57:07,917
But, you know...

1148
00:57:09,317 --> 00:57:11,850
We knew this was going
to happen eventually.

1149
00:57:12,167 --> 00:57:14,167
He was a tough, old son-of-a-gun.

1150
00:57:14,168 --> 00:57:16,600
If I talk to him, will he understand me?

1151
00:57:18,333 --> 00:57:19,550
I don't know.

1152
00:57:20,183 --> 00:57:21,433
You should try.

1153
00:57:23,733 --> 00:57:25,317
Thanks, Randy.

1154
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:33,433
[Dad is mumbling to himself]

1155
00:57:33,434 --> 00:57:34,616
Dad.

1156
00:57:37,417 --> 00:57:39,100
Dad, what are you saying?

1157
00:57:39,101 --> 00:57:42,217
[he continues to mumble]

1158
00:57:44,150 --> 00:57:47,783
Dad on the way here, I got the
call that I passed the bar exam.

1159
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,850
When they told me, all I could
do is picture your face and...

1160
00:57:52,133 --> 00:57:55,233
What it might look like
if you were proud of me.

1161
00:57:56,283 --> 00:57:58,667
I really hope you can hear me, Dad.

1162
00:58:00,867 --> 00:58:03,450
I'm gonna take over Noonan & Noonan...

1163
00:58:03,683 --> 00:58:10,867
[strange sounds as we
disappear into Dad's dreams]

1164
00:58:12,700 --> 00:58:13,700
Whoa.

1165
00:58:21,717 --> 00:58:24,867
This Schick Styler works so
fast. You know what they call it?

1166
00:58:24,868 --> 00:58:25,784
The Speed Styler.

1167
00:58:25,785 --> 00:58:27,084
And look what else it has.

1168
00:58:27,085 --> 00:58:30,067
A concentrator for
those tough-to-dry places.

1169
00:58:30,068 --> 00:58:31,217
And it's fast!

1170
00:58:31,218 --> 00:58:35,684
Farrah Fawcett! I must be in heaven.

1171
00:58:38,767 --> 00:58:39,667
Mom?

1172
00:58:39,833 --> 00:58:41,500
Are we having spaghetti?

1173
00:58:41,733 --> 00:58:44,583
Oh, Mom... And Uncle Larry!

1174
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,433
Oh...What--

1175
00:58:46,733 --> 00:58:47,717
What are you?

1176
00:58:47,718 --> 00:58:49,950
No, stop this. Stop this!

1177
00:58:49,951 --> 00:58:52,483
I'm gonna tell Dad! Wake
me up! Someone wake--

1178
00:58:59,817 --> 00:59:02,133
Come on, Mr. Noonan. Hey, Mr. Noonan!

1179
00:59:02,134 --> 00:59:04,533
Mr. Noonan! Come on buddy...

1180
00:59:05,350 --> 00:59:06,733
Mr. Noonan. Hey!

1181
00:59:18,983 --> 00:59:19,933
Will.

1182
00:59:20,483 --> 00:59:21,183
Yeah?

1183
00:59:22,167 --> 00:59:26,067
Your mom called your friends
and told them what happened.

1184
00:59:27,083 --> 00:59:28,533
They came.

1185
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:30,950
Yo. Will.

1186
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:32,767
Thanks for coming, guys.

1187
00:59:33,383 --> 00:59:37,033
- I'm so sorry, man.
- We love you, bro.

1188
00:59:42,933 --> 00:59:43,917
Will?

1189
00:59:44,100 --> 00:59:45,100
Who's that??

1190
00:59:47,067 --> 00:59:49,333
- Jenkins!
- Gentlemen.

1191
00:59:50,617 --> 00:59:53,800
Now, I know we're gathered here
under unfortunate circumstances,

1192
00:59:53,801 --> 00:59:55,283
so my condolences.

1193
00:59:55,284 --> 00:59:58,083
But I would also like to say:
Congratulations! Because,

1194
00:59:58,084 --> 00:59:59,783
once you sign this paperwork,

1195
01:00:00,317 --> 01:00:04,283
you become the sole proprietor
of Noonan and Noonan.

1196
01:00:04,284 --> 01:00:05,683
Just sign here.

1197
01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:11,117
And here.

1198
01:00:13,117 --> 01:00:14,250
And there.

1199
01:00:15,717 --> 01:00:19,350
Initial here... And there... And there.

1200
01:00:19,817 --> 01:00:21,917
And one more time here.

1201
01:00:22,133 --> 01:00:23,133
And there.

1202
01:00:24,133 --> 01:00:27,117
- That was a lot of signatures!
- Noonan and Noonan!

1203
01:00:28,217 --> 01:00:31,850
Now your father has instructed
me to play you this short video.

1204
01:00:31,851 --> 01:00:32,850
This is AV club!

1205
01:00:35,517 --> 01:00:36,333
Hello, son.

1206
01:00:36,833 --> 01:00:39,883
If you're watching this, it
means you passed the bar.

1207
01:00:40,467 --> 01:00:41,067
Wow.

1208
01:00:41,068 --> 01:00:43,617
- Yeah he did!
- My boy Will!

1209
01:00:43,618 --> 01:00:44,617
Shhh!

1210
01:00:44,618 --> 01:00:46,934
You and I didn't talk
much when I was alive.

1211
01:00:46,935 --> 01:00:50,084
Now, there's so many things I wish I knew.

1212
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:51,983
Like, what's your favorite color?

1213
01:00:51,984 --> 01:00:52,683
Blue.

1214
01:00:52,684 --> 01:00:55,083
And if a tree falls in the
forest, does it make a sound?

1215
01:00:55,084 --> 01:00:55,816
I think so.

1216
01:00:55,817 --> 01:00:58,183
It's pointless to answer
that since I'm dead.

1217
01:00:58,184 --> 01:01:00,350
So I'll move on to some
things I want to tell you.

1218
01:01:00,351 --> 01:01:03,783
First, I'm proud of the man you become.

1219
01:01:04,900 --> 01:01:07,550
Second, the firm is under investigation

1220
01:01:07,551 --> 01:01:11,067
from the feds, and you're
probably gonna go to jail.

1221
01:01:11,068 --> 01:01:14,434
Our legal position that
taxes are technically "optional"

1222
01:01:14,435 --> 01:01:16,584
has not held up like I thought it would.

1223
01:01:16,585 --> 01:01:17,967
I guess we should have paid,

1224
01:01:17,968 --> 01:01:20,867
any of the several times that
the government offered to settle.

1225
01:01:20,868 --> 01:01:24,667
Instead, whoever owns Noonan
and Noonan after me is really screwed.

1226
01:01:25,717 --> 01:01:27,967
I could have let Jenkins take over,

1227
01:01:27,968 --> 01:01:31,284
but, you know, he and I have
been through so much together.

1228
01:01:31,617 --> 01:01:34,700
All those years, you weren't
around. Jenkins was by my side.

1229
01:01:34,701 --> 01:01:35,933
In the courtroon...

1230
01:01:35,934 --> 01:01:38,700
And later, when we partied
like there was no tomorrow.

1231
01:01:39,233 --> 01:01:42,750
We consumed nightlife like a toothless
hobo sucking off a chicken bone.

1232
01:01:42,933 --> 01:01:46,450
We have the battle scars and
the blood transfusions to prove it.

1233
01:01:46,783 --> 01:01:48,067
Right, Jenk?

1234
01:01:48,450 --> 01:01:50,033
I bet he's blushing.

1235
01:01:50,034 --> 01:01:52,316
I couldn't send Jenkins to prison, son.

1236
01:01:52,317 --> 01:01:54,733
So I made you the fall
guy instead. I'm sorry.

1237
01:01:54,883 --> 01:01:57,700
You're my blood. But
Jenkins? Jenkins is my family.

1238
01:01:57,917 --> 01:01:59,500
I guess that covers it.

1239
01:01:59,700 --> 01:02:02,117
Proud of you... Chicken
bone... Fall guy...

1240
01:02:02,333 --> 01:02:04,683
Yeah. Best of luck, Will.

1241
01:02:05,500 --> 01:02:06,183
Go Pats.

1242
01:02:08,050 --> 01:02:10,450
Okay. So. Any questions?

1243
01:02:10,451 --> 01:02:11,700
What the fuck??

1244
01:02:11,701 --> 01:02:13,283
- You're angry.
- We're angry!

1245
01:02:13,284 --> 01:02:14,416
Okay, let me explain.

1246
01:02:14,417 --> 01:02:16,699
- Your firm has been evading taxes.
- My firm?!

1247
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:18,350
Excuse me, let me finish.

1248
01:02:18,351 --> 01:02:21,083
Your firm's been evading taxes,
which is a very serious offense.

1249
01:02:21,084 --> 01:02:22,633
Now you owe 3 million dollars.

1250
01:02:22,634 --> 01:02:24,466
3 million dollars?! Are you crazy?

1251
01:02:24,467 --> 01:02:26,583
Excuse me! Let me finish.

1252
01:02:26,584 --> 01:02:29,666
Due by the end of this
week, or you will be arrested.

1253
01:02:29,667 --> 01:02:31,916
Oh my God! I'm gonna be sick.

1254
01:02:31,917 --> 01:02:34,766
Mr. Jenkins? The movers are here.

1255
01:02:35,417 --> 01:02:38,733
Your father has generously
arranged to sell his house and assets

1256
01:02:38,734 --> 01:02:39,916
to help cover the cost.

1257
01:02:39,917 --> 01:02:42,349
Now, this should produce
about 1.8 million dollars.

1258
01:02:42,350 --> 01:02:44,366
But you're still short
1.2 million dollars.

1259
01:02:44,367 --> 01:02:46,416
Do you happen to have 1.2 million dollars?

1260
01:02:46,417 --> 01:02:48,083
- No! -Come on, man!

1261
01:02:48,084 --> 01:02:49,916
I'm really just talking to Will here.

1262
01:02:49,917 --> 01:02:51,399
Maybe, like, 1.1 million?

1263
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,782
- No, I only have 100 bucks.
- Zero millions.

1264
01:02:54,783 --> 01:02:57,632
That's what I guessed.
But I did want to assume.

1265
01:02:57,633 --> 01:03:00,682
Well, I guess you're fucked.

1266
01:03:01,050 --> 01:03:02,100
How is this legal?

1267
01:03:02,101 --> 01:03:03,983
I mean, it's all right
here in the paperwork.

1268
01:03:03,984 --> 01:03:06,383
I'm surprised you didn't
read it before you signed it.

1269
01:03:06,384 --> 01:03:08,000
You are a lawyer now.

1270
01:03:08,867 --> 01:03:09,500
Fuck!

1271
01:03:09,501 --> 01:03:12,000
- Can we look at the paperwork again real quick?
- No.

1272
01:03:12,001 --> 01:03:13,883
You're going to try
to rip it up or eat it.

1273
01:03:13,884 --> 01:03:16,583
I can't go to prison, man.
I'm too pretty for prison.

1274
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:17,633
Legally speaking?

1275
01:03:18,367 --> 01:03:19,233
You're not.

1276
01:03:25,383 --> 01:03:27,150
It's been nice knowing you, guys.

1277
01:03:27,467 --> 01:03:30,483
Promise not to replace me
with another token white dude?

1278
01:03:30,484 --> 01:03:33,533
Nah, man. We have high
standards for our white guys.

1279
01:03:33,534 --> 01:03:34,650
Thanks.

1280
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,483
He'll need references.

1281
01:03:42,017 --> 01:03:42,933
Hold on.

1282
01:03:43,467 --> 01:03:44,683
We can't just give up.

1283
01:03:45,883 --> 01:03:47,550
So we need a million dollars.

1284
01:03:48,017 --> 01:03:49,017
We're salesmen!

1285
01:03:50,017 --> 01:03:51,617
Getting money is what we do.

1286
01:03:52,050 --> 01:03:55,333
Do you think Brad Mastrangelo
would be out drinking right now? No!

1287
01:03:55,833 --> 01:04:00,217
He'd be trying to figure out what we need
to sell, and who we need to sell it to.

1288
01:04:00,218 --> 01:04:02,900
Now who do we know
that has that type of money?

1289
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:04,233
Mark Cuban!

1290
01:04:04,234 --> 01:04:06,283
I love that guy on Shark Tank!

1291
01:04:06,467 --> 01:04:08,167
Someone we actually know.

1292
01:04:10,367 --> 01:04:12,100
Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank!

1293
01:04:12,101 --> 01:04:13,383
You don't know him either.

1294
01:04:14,050 --> 01:04:15,133
I feel like I do.

1295
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:16,800
Wait!

1296
01:04:16,950 --> 01:04:17,950
Bob Donnelly!

1297
01:04:19,067 --> 01:04:20,900
I saw it in his bedroom.

1298
01:04:20,901 --> 01:04:22,783
He has stacks of cash!

1299
01:04:22,784 --> 01:04:24,883
Yes, that's right, Corey!

1300
01:04:25,767 --> 01:04:26,483
Listen.

1301
01:04:27,083 --> 01:04:28,850
How do we help Bob?

1302
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:31,950
What do you mean?

1303
01:04:32,583 --> 01:04:34,750
Sales is like hypnosis.

1304
01:04:35,450 --> 01:04:37,400
Bob wants to spend that money,

1305
01:04:37,667 --> 01:04:42,750
but he needs us - the professionals!
- to point him in the right direction.

1306
01:04:43,133 --> 01:04:44,267
Bob's a weird guy.

1307
01:04:44,268 --> 01:04:46,667
How do you find out what's
worth a million dollars--

1308
01:04:46,668 --> 01:04:48,950
to a dude that believes in lizard people?

1309
01:04:55,150 --> 01:04:57,200
That's a really good deal on Modelo.

1310
01:04:57,367 --> 01:05:00,283
What? We're brainstorming.

1311
01:05:00,284 --> 01:05:03,200
You just never see it that
low. I'm going to get one after.

1312
01:05:03,201 --> 01:05:05,400
Wait, wait, wait. I have an idea. OK?

1313
01:05:05,401 --> 01:05:07,333
Lemme-- Can I use this?

1314
01:05:07,334 --> 01:05:09,733
Wait a second...

1315
01:05:15,567 --> 01:05:18,783
...This side here and we work
our way all the way around...

1316
01:05:18,784 --> 01:05:21,633
And we have-- Yes!

1317
01:05:22,183 --> 01:05:23,500
Every time!

1318
01:05:24,467 --> 01:05:25,750
Okay. Alright.

1319
01:05:26,150 --> 01:05:28,883
I got an idea. It's
crazy, but it could work.

1320
01:05:28,884 --> 01:05:31,300
So what we need is the three of us...

1321
01:05:32,550 --> 01:05:33,550
Nina!

1322
01:05:34,100 --> 01:05:39,517
and one more badass, hall-of-fame...

1323
01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:41,250
salesperson.

1324
01:05:41,850 --> 01:05:44,383
This is the craziest plan I've ever heard.

1325
01:05:44,550 --> 01:05:45,300
Thank you.

1326
01:05:45,417 --> 01:05:46,450
It's not a compliment.

1327
01:05:46,451 --> 01:05:48,417
You're not selling anything.
You're just stealing.

1328
01:05:48,418 --> 01:05:50,250
Wrong. We're selling an idea.

1329
01:05:50,251 --> 01:05:51,800
Ideas run the world, Tooky.

1330
01:05:51,801 --> 01:05:55,117
We can't do this without you.
You're the best salesman we know.

1331
01:05:55,118 --> 01:05:57,867
Any extra money we make
goes towards your student loans.

1332
01:05:57,868 --> 01:06:00,884
Think about it: in a few years,
when you're a famous designer,

1333
01:06:00,885 --> 01:06:03,817
vacationing with your friends in
Jamaica, this will be your crazy story

1334
01:06:03,818 --> 01:06:05,550
about your days working in sales!

1335
01:06:09,750 --> 01:06:11,233
Okay, I'll do it for Jamaica.

1336
01:06:11,234 --> 01:06:12,633
[they cheer]

1337
01:06:12,750 --> 01:06:13,933
Let's get crazy.

1338
01:06:31,867 --> 01:06:32,867
Corey!

1339
01:06:33,350 --> 01:06:35,100
Hey! Bob!

1340
01:06:37,450 --> 01:06:39,800
- Alright.
- Good to see you.

1341
01:06:39,801 --> 01:06:41,050
You look so good.

1342
01:06:41,051 --> 01:06:42,783
Yeah, thank you. You too!

1343
01:06:42,784 --> 01:06:44,733
- Mmm, Corey.
- OK, yeah...

1344
01:06:44,734 --> 01:06:48,383
You know, when I designed
the garb, in my mind's eye--

1345
01:06:48,384 --> 01:06:50,233
this is exactly how I pictured it.

1346
01:06:50,234 --> 01:06:51,833
Yeah, it feels good.

1347
01:06:51,834 --> 01:06:53,633
Well, when the model's perfect.

1348
01:06:55,717 --> 01:06:57,667
I'm sorry, is this your friend?

1349
01:06:57,668 --> 01:06:58,817
Yeah, this is Will.

1350
01:06:58,818 --> 01:07:00,267
- Hi. -Where are my manners?

1351
01:07:00,633 --> 01:07:01,950
Will...

1352
01:07:03,633 --> 01:07:06,150
- These are very strong bones.
- Thanks.

1353
01:07:06,151 --> 01:07:07,717
Will, I'm sorry. Do you mind me asking?

1354
01:07:07,718 --> 01:07:09,267
Did you ever play water polo?

1355
01:07:09,268 --> 01:07:10,200
I always wanted to!

1356
01:07:10,201 --> 01:07:11,933
You got the shoulders for it!

1357
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,033
Thanks.

1358
01:07:13,483 --> 01:07:18,900
This is so fortuitous because we are
thinking of starting a water polo team.

1359
01:07:19,267 --> 01:07:20,733
And we could use a captain.

1360
01:07:20,734 --> 01:07:23,133
- I could be the captain!
- You could be the captain!

1361
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,450
Let's talk about it over
some Moscow mules.

1362
01:07:26,451 --> 01:07:27,733
Those mules that you make.

1363
01:07:27,734 --> 01:07:29,633
Two captains! Two Moscow mules!

1364
01:07:34,533 --> 01:07:36,483
Here we go, boys. Cheers.

1365
01:07:37,167 --> 01:07:38,400
Drink up!

1366
01:07:39,850 --> 01:07:44,167
Tell me that is not the best mule
you've ever had in your mouth?

1367
01:07:44,500 --> 01:07:47,033
This mule kicks!

1368
01:07:47,300 --> 01:07:49,517
You. Are we having fun?

1369
01:07:49,518 --> 01:07:52,067
We're having a great time. I
think we're having so much fun--

1370
01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:55,450
We should mingle and see what's
going on in the rest of the party.

1371
01:07:55,451 --> 01:07:56,400
You are so right.

1372
01:07:56,850 --> 01:07:58,283
Catch up with you boys later.

1373
01:07:58,284 --> 01:07:59,566
Have fun!

1374
01:08:03,650 --> 01:08:05,667
This is the basement.
Circuit breaker's down there.

1375
01:08:05,668 --> 01:08:07,117
Text me when you're in position.

1376
01:08:07,118 --> 01:08:08,834
You sure you still want to do this?

1377
01:08:08,835 --> 01:08:10,351
What do you mean I'm sure? Yes I'm sure.

1378
01:08:10,352 --> 01:08:12,201
I really like Bob. He
makes me feel really good.

1379
01:08:12,202 --> 01:08:13,051
Bob's a creep!

1380
01:08:13,052 --> 01:08:15,551
You want to go to jail?
Or you want to go home?

1381
01:08:15,552 --> 01:08:16,218
Home.

1382
01:08:16,219 --> 01:08:17,435
OK. Let's do it.

1383
01:08:19,367 --> 01:08:21,117
Come on, man!

1384
01:08:31,667 --> 01:08:33,033
Shut the door.

1385
01:08:39,217 --> 01:08:40,417
Shut the door!

1386
01:08:50,650 --> 01:08:53,000
[kissing sounds]

1387
01:08:53,750 --> 01:08:56,217
You are so hot.

1388
01:08:57,967 --> 01:09:01,933
Your tongue is, like,
way bigger than my wife's.

1389
01:09:01,934 --> 01:09:03,766
Where have you been my whole life?

1390
01:09:03,917 --> 01:09:05,300
Medford.

1391
01:09:05,817 --> 01:09:06,817
Medford!

1392
01:09:06,933 --> 01:09:09,233
[more kissing]

1393
01:09:26,233 --> 01:09:27,367
Come on, Will.

1394
01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:29,700
Hey, guys.

1395
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,300
Why don't we filter in?

1396
01:09:31,583 --> 01:09:34,067
It's almost time for our weekly reflection

1397
01:09:36,033 --> 01:09:36,667
Come on.

1398
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,667
Come on. Don't be shy.

1399
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,033
Very good. Hi.

1400
01:09:42,417 --> 01:09:44,467
Jodi, hello.

1401
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:50,267
So, how was everybody's week?

1402
01:09:50,268 --> 01:09:51,617
Goooood!

1403
01:09:52,817 --> 01:09:53,817
Wonderful.

1404
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:57,317
Why don't we begin with our pledge?

1405
01:10:00,550 --> 01:10:05,866
The tendrils of life are
immaculately designed,

1406
01:10:05,867 --> 01:10:09,017
and I am grateful for them.

1407
01:10:09,183 --> 01:10:14,200
With Bob's guidance,
we shall find our way--

1408
01:10:15,850 --> 01:10:16,983
I feel ridiculous.

1409
01:10:17,100 --> 01:10:18,817
Don't worry. You look good.

1410
01:10:19,017 --> 01:10:21,217
I can't believe I'm gonna
break this damn window.

1411
01:10:21,218 --> 01:10:23,117
I never committed a crime before my life.

1412
01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:25,200
Relax. Tooky just texted--

1413
01:10:25,201 --> 01:10:26,150
She's going in!

1414
01:10:26,151 --> 01:10:27,200
Now,

1415
01:10:27,201 --> 01:10:28,900
how about a big round of applause

1416
01:10:28,901 --> 01:10:33,983
for Patti Gould, who got second
place in her town's bakeoff this month.

1417
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:36,217
Come on.

1418
01:10:36,218 --> 01:10:38,017
Let's hear it for her.

1419
01:10:38,018 --> 01:10:41,200
Why don't you tell us, Pat: how
many contestants were there?

1420
01:10:41,201 --> 01:10:42,717
More than two, I hope...

1421
01:10:42,718 --> 01:10:44,884
[everyone laughs]

1422
01:10:45,167 --> 01:10:47,817
Patti, we're fucking around.

1423
01:10:48,900 --> 01:10:50,183
[knocks at the door]

1424
01:10:50,550 --> 01:10:53,550
Hello? Is anyone there?!

1425
01:10:53,700 --> 01:10:55,017
Who could that be?

1426
01:10:56,033 --> 01:10:57,850
Is anybody in there?

1427
01:10:58,533 --> 01:10:59,800
Hello?

1428
01:11:00,817 --> 01:11:01,817
Shut the door!

1429
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,367
Are you alright?

1430
01:11:04,368 --> 01:11:06,567
Thank- Thank- Thank you.

1431
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:09,350
I rang on five doors, but nobody...

1432
01:11:09,767 --> 01:11:12,983
- Nobody-- I ran for my life.
- What happened?

1433
01:11:12,984 --> 01:11:15,117
There's two of them! I didn't...

1434
01:11:15,917 --> 01:11:18,117
I didn't see them at
first, but I heard them.

1435
01:11:18,367 --> 01:11:21,467
They weren't talking. They
were making hissing sounds.

1436
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:24,433
And I was walking down the street.

1437
01:11:24,667 --> 01:11:28,767
And one of them got up on me
and grabbed me and I screamed.

1438
01:11:28,983 --> 01:11:31,900
I ran-- I ran, but they followed me.

1439
01:11:32,900 --> 01:11:35,467
They're right outside.
They looked so terrible.

1440
01:11:36,217 --> 01:11:41,800
They had forked tongues and long tails...

1441
01:11:43,483 --> 01:11:46,850
and green scaly skin.

1442
01:11:47,583 --> 01:11:49,133
Lizard people!

1443
01:11:49,134 --> 01:11:52,000
[everyone screams]

1444
01:11:54,167 --> 01:11:55,350
Hello?!

1445
01:11:56,567 --> 01:11:58,967
- Who's there??
- It's them.

1446
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:08,683
[GROWL]

1447
01:12:08,684 --> 01:12:09,750
[everyone screams]

1448
01:12:09,751 --> 01:12:11,633
Get out while you still can!

1449
01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:19,133
Take me Daddy.

1450
01:12:19,533 --> 01:12:20,467
Oh no!

1451
01:12:20,867 --> 01:12:22,183
Is it because I'm fat??

1452
01:12:27,917 --> 01:12:30,450
[Orlando GROWLS] [the crowd screams]

1453
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,333
Orlando! Where's Bob?

1454
01:12:38,517 --> 01:12:41,233
[Bob SCREAMS]

1455
01:13:00,433 --> 01:13:01,767
Is that blood?

1456
01:13:02,183 --> 01:13:03,833
This is bad.

1457
01:13:13,617 --> 01:13:15,300
Lizard people!

1458
01:13:18,967 --> 01:13:20,567
Hey Corey! We gotta go.

1459
01:13:21,250 --> 01:13:22,383
Alright. Coming!

1460
01:13:23,067 --> 01:13:25,633
Also, Orlando passed out
and Bob needs an ambulance.

1461
01:13:25,634 --> 01:13:26,316
What?!

1462
01:13:29,367 --> 01:13:30,167
Did I...

1463
01:13:31,817 --> 01:13:32,967
Did I get him?!

1464
01:13:33,350 --> 01:13:34,050
Uhh...

1465
01:13:34,850 --> 01:13:35,700
No.

1466
01:13:35,701 --> 01:13:36,700
Fuck!!

1467
01:13:40,717 --> 01:13:42,267
Where's Corey?

1468
01:13:42,268 --> 01:13:43,917
Don't worry about that right now.

1469
01:13:43,918 --> 01:13:45,234
Where is he?

1470
01:13:46,150 --> 01:13:48,217
Is it gonna be okay?

1471
01:13:49,250 --> 01:13:51,033
Of course it is.

1472
01:13:51,034 --> 01:13:51,733
Yeah?

1473
01:13:51,734 --> 01:13:55,600
They're going to stitch you right up
and give you some nice painkillers.

1474
01:13:55,601 --> 01:13:57,817
You're gonna be high as fuck.

1475
01:13:57,818 --> 01:13:59,800
That sounds good.

1476
01:13:59,801 --> 01:14:03,350
In a couple weeks it'll be
like nothing even happened...

1477
01:14:06,350 --> 01:14:08,683
This poem is called:

1478
01:14:08,684 --> 01:14:11,083
"Wow, that shit was crazy."

1479
01:14:11,084 --> 01:14:13,816
[audience snaps]

1480
01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:15,383
Blood.

1481
01:14:16,183 --> 01:14:17,833
So much blood.

1482
01:14:19,167 --> 01:14:23,633
Red, purple, maroon, ochre blood.

1483
01:14:24,167 --> 01:14:27,083
In that moment, color seemed crazy.

1484
01:14:27,867 --> 01:14:29,967
So vivid and unreal.

1485
01:14:30,933 --> 01:14:32,350
Then again,

1486
01:14:32,850 --> 01:14:34,300
what is reality?

1487
01:14:35,517 --> 01:14:39,367
If you ask 10 people,
you'll get 10 answers...

1488
01:14:39,517 --> 01:14:42,333
or more, if you let them talk long enough.

1489
01:14:43,750 --> 01:14:45,750
Maybe that's what I was thinking

1490
01:14:45,983 --> 01:14:47,833
about when I saw the blood.

1491
01:14:48,700 --> 01:14:49,733
I don't know.

1492
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:53,300
I felt discombobulated and passed out.

1493
01:14:54,183 --> 01:14:56,500
But right before I hit the ground,

1494
01:14:57,717 --> 01:14:59,617
I remember wondering,

1495
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:02,833
Why am I lizard?

1496
01:15:09,900 --> 01:15:17,900
[the audience snaps and cheers]

1497
01:15:25,017 --> 01:15:26,267
Orlando.

1498
01:15:26,817 --> 01:15:27,867
Great performance.

1499
01:15:28,083 --> 01:15:31,117
I really enjoyed the
fact that it didn't rhyme.

1500
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:35,850
Now, before we go over today's products,
I have a few bits of housekeeping.

1501
01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:38,717
First, I think you noticed
that we have a new hire,

1502
01:15:38,718 --> 01:15:40,767
now that Will's off lawyering.

1503
01:15:41,267 --> 01:15:42,967
Hey, I'm Zach.

1504
01:15:42,968 --> 01:15:47,284
Just got my associates from
Middlesex CC, excited to get to know you.

1505
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:51,683
Well? Introduce yourselves.

1506
01:15:51,817 --> 01:15:56,300
[they all talk over each other]

1507
01:15:56,301 --> 01:15:57,250
Great!

1508
01:15:57,633 --> 01:16:02,150
Now, Corey, I believe you have
an update on Bob's recovery.

1509
01:16:02,151 --> 01:16:04,150
Oh yeah, I saw him the other day.

1510
01:16:04,950 --> 01:16:07,533
Thank you for the visit, Corey.

1511
01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:10,900
But I hate for you to see me like this.

1512
01:16:11,867 --> 01:16:12,783
How are you doing?

1513
01:16:12,784 --> 01:16:14,933
I'm in agony, Corey.

1514
01:16:16,117 --> 01:16:18,783
I can't even feed myself.

1515
01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:25,817
Luckily, I was blessed,

1516
01:16:26,283 --> 01:16:29,033
with an athletic, powerful physique.

1517
01:16:29,567 --> 01:16:30,917
But I've stayed

1518
01:16:32,033 --> 01:16:34,567
in peak physical condition.

1519
01:16:35,450 --> 01:16:36,750
- Yeah.
- So the body?

1520
01:16:37,317 --> 01:16:39,833
The body will mend, Corey.

1521
01:16:39,834 --> 01:16:41,150
But my ego?

1522
01:16:43,233 --> 01:16:45,600
Well, that'll take some time to heal.

1523
01:16:46,900 --> 01:16:49,533
You know that cash in my room?

1524
01:16:49,534 --> 01:16:50,533
Cash?

1525
01:16:51,350 --> 01:16:53,233
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cash.

1526
01:16:53,350 --> 01:16:55,750
It was stolen the night you were here.

1527
01:16:57,300 --> 01:16:58,683
Do you know who stole it?

1528
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:04,050
I've got a pretty good idea, Corey.

1529
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:07,367
Who?

1530
01:17:10,500 --> 01:17:13,033
It was those goddamn lizards!

1531
01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:15,533
Probably on their spaceship right now,

1532
01:17:15,534 --> 01:17:16,500
laughing at me.

1533
01:17:16,501 --> 01:17:19,533
Sucking and fucking on top of my money.

1534
01:17:19,534 --> 01:17:24,766
Drinking reptile cum and using
20 dollar bills that I earned--

1535
01:17:24,767 --> 01:17:26,516
as napkins.

1536
01:17:27,717 --> 01:17:30,250
It's enough to make a man sick, Corey.

1537
01:17:31,133 --> 01:17:33,050
But they thought they could stop me.

1538
01:17:33,051 --> 01:17:37,217
Now that the world knows
the lizard menace is real--

1539
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,317
now that they know those
goddamn scalebacks are out there,

1540
01:17:41,318 --> 01:17:43,484
threatening to steal our children?

1541
01:17:43,983 --> 01:17:45,367
Well, our membership--

1542
01:17:46,133 --> 01:17:47,400
is through the roof.

1543
01:17:47,933 --> 01:17:49,600
And the most exciting part?

1544
01:17:50,033 --> 01:17:51,983
What do you think, girls? Should we--

1545
01:17:52,100 --> 01:17:53,400
Should we show him?

1546
01:17:54,033 --> 01:17:57,667
Give him a little sneak peek?

1547
01:17:59,283 --> 01:18:01,850
The Life Tendrils 2--

1548
01:18:01,851 --> 01:18:03,817
Resurrection.

1549
01:18:05,033 --> 01:18:06,617
So it all worked out for Bob?

1550
01:18:06,700 --> 01:18:08,583
It all worked out for--

1551
01:18:08,584 --> 01:18:09,716
Will?

1552
01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:11,132
Hey.

1553
01:18:11,133 --> 01:18:12,917
Why aren't you at Noonan and Noonan?

1554
01:18:12,918 --> 01:18:14,217
I can't take it anymore.

1555
01:18:14,517 --> 01:18:17,000
I've been stuck in an office for two days.

1556
01:18:17,001 --> 01:18:18,167
- Ugh.
- Yeah!

1557
01:18:18,168 --> 01:18:20,384
It's just constantly emails
I don't want to answer.

1558
01:18:20,385 --> 01:18:22,084
Meetings where nothing gets done.

1559
01:18:22,085 --> 01:18:25,851
Long conversations about
Netflix shows I've never watched.

1560
01:18:26,483 --> 01:18:30,450
Maybe there's more to life than selling
stuff and drinking beer. I don't know.

1561
01:18:30,451 --> 01:18:32,483
But at least it's an honest living.

1562
01:18:33,317 --> 01:18:36,917
Last night, I had a dream about
the people in our neighborhoods.

1563
01:18:37,633 --> 01:18:40,600
I missed their smiles, their stories,

1564
01:18:40,601 --> 01:18:43,433
even the creative ways
they tell me to go fuck myself.

1565
01:18:44,217 --> 01:18:46,167
That's when I realized:

1566
01:18:46,383 --> 01:18:47,533
dammit,

1567
01:18:48,367 --> 01:18:49,700
I'm a salesman.

1568
01:18:49,817 --> 01:18:51,117
And proud of it, too.

1569
01:18:51,633 --> 01:18:53,017
That was poetry.

1570
01:18:53,018 --> 01:18:54,517
Bravo, good sir.

1571
01:18:54,717 --> 01:18:55,917
Hey, who's that guy?

1572
01:18:56,383 --> 01:18:58,183
He's history now that you're back.

1573
01:18:58,184 --> 01:18:58,833
What?

1574
01:18:58,834 --> 01:19:03,083
Now, let's get out there and
have the best sales day ever!

1575
01:19:04,717 --> 01:19:12,317
[end music]