1 00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:12,376 NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES 2 00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:20,459 PROHIBITION FROM HELL 3 00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:25,043 This is me. Marcin Łopian. Age 19. 4 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,043 Resident of Pęchery, Piaseczno Township. 5 00:00:28,126 --> 00:00:31,834 Born in Łbiska between Pęchery and Piaseczno. 6 00:00:31,918 --> 00:00:34,043 Correct. My father's tractor was too slow 7 00:00:34,126 --> 00:00:38,418 and he didn't make it to the hospital in Piaseczno, hence the scar on my cheek. 8 00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,459 That disc harrow is no joke. 9 00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:45,584 You might be wondering what a construction guy with a broken face 10 00:00:45,668 --> 00:00:49,084 is doing on the street at three o'clock at night. 11 00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:51,376 Let me emphasize I'm still at work... 12 00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:57,584 Who would've thought I just got hit in the face with a high kick. 13 00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:59,334 All right, no more kidding. 14 00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:03,751 Time to get back on my feet and face the enemy. 15 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,501 Correct, besides construction work 16 00:01:08,584 --> 00:01:12,209 we're also in the business of fighting dark forces. 17 00:01:12,293 --> 00:01:14,626 My fists are shit... 18 00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:17,418 -Excuse me? -And your face is the crapper. 19 00:01:17,501 --> 00:01:20,626 Hit me or I'm gonna shit myself! 20 00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:24,209 You don't know much about hidenuttersm, do you? 21 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:27,334 These ain't my balls. You kicked me in the ass! 22 00:01:29,793 --> 00:01:33,334 Stay where you are, or I'll cut your prick off! 23 00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:35,543 How do you know where my dick is? 24 00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:40,043 This is Domino. Yes, he's a demon, but he's on our side. 25 00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:44,209 He screwed up in Hell, so he joined our team a few months ago. 26 00:01:44,293 --> 00:01:47,751 He might suck at melee combat, but he's pretty weak at fighting. 27 00:01:48,626 --> 00:01:52,709 Hey, boss! Marcin is in trouble. Quick, pass me the rifle! 28 00:01:52,793 --> 00:01:55,418 I'd rather have a pass on vodka than pass you my rifle. 29 00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:59,126 I wanna live. Anyway, I need my gun! Here's another one. 30 00:02:00,543 --> 00:02:03,626 And this is our boss, Bogdan Boner. 31 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:07,793 His shooting skills are more or less as good as Domino's fighting abilities. 32 00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:12,459 Oh Jesus, what have I done... 33 00:02:13,126 --> 00:02:15,293 -Oh fuck... -Thanks! 34 00:02:18,459 --> 00:02:20,376 Wait! Can you see what's happening? 35 00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:24,126 How long can you last without air? Die already! 36 00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:26,293 You first! 37 00:02:27,084 --> 00:02:29,376 Phew! Thanks. That was close. 38 00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:31,501 OK, now hand him the gun. Or maybe not. 39 00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:34,084 Don't do that. He'll be better off without it. 40 00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:35,043 I told you. 41 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:40,251 Mission accomplished. Let's go back. 42 00:02:40,876 --> 00:02:43,251 LAWN MOWING CHEAP PRICES 43 00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:45,876 You heard this one? Milik wanted to get laid, 44 00:02:45,959 --> 00:02:49,543 so he went to get some ass, but missed the whorehouse... 45 00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,584 No need to pay for stand-up tickets, 46 00:02:53,668 --> 00:02:55,793 when you can listen to your boss telling jokes! 47 00:02:55,876 --> 00:03:00,459 Speaking of payment, boss... When am I gonna get paid? 48 00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:04,501 -How much do I owe you? -For the last month or altogether? 49 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:08,418 -Let's say, last month. -In that case, it's 1400, but-- 50 00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,709 Here's 1500 and we're even. 51 00:03:10,793 --> 00:03:13,459 Take it easy Marcin. Money isn't everything. 52 00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:15,293 What's important is good humor. 53 00:03:15,376 --> 00:03:18,293 You know this one? Donald comes to a whorehouse-- 54 00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:20,418 What's up with you, man? 55 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,876 Jesus, Marcin! What have you done? What's gotten into you? 56 00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:27,251 You are possessed, aren't you? 57 00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:30,126 Let's go back to the deli. 58 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,501 What kind of magic was that? 59 00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:43,626 Just because he looks like your boss and is wearing his clothes, 60 00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,543 it doesn't necessarily mean it's him. 61 00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:48,251 What do you want? 62 00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:50,709 No way. There's barely enough for me. 63 00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:53,751 How come, Domino? How did you know? 64 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,918 The real boss wouldn't pay me the whole amount. 65 00:03:57,001 --> 00:03:58,418 At least not without a fight. 66 00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:02,376 It turns out the hidenuttersm can take on a human body... 67 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,043 Indeed they can. 68 00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:06,626 Too bad you didn't mention it earlier. 69 00:04:07,959 --> 00:04:10,793 Shit's about to get awesome, Krzychu! 70 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:14,043 We're gonna have the time of our lives! Did you see the supplies? 71 00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:18,376 Twelve brewskis in the bag and an extra bottle in the backpack. 72 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,376 What the fuck's wrong with you, Bartosz? 73 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:25,959 -What do you mean? -Never say "bottle" when Piotr's around! 74 00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:28,418 First of all, he's not even here, okay? 75 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:32,293 Oh, right. Piotr! Hurry up! 76 00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:34,793 Second, what's this all about? 77 00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:36,876 He's never had any alcohol before. 78 00:04:36,959 --> 00:04:39,251 It was hard enough to talk him into this beer. 79 00:04:39,334 --> 00:04:41,334 I just don't want him to freak out. 80 00:04:41,418 --> 00:04:43,376 So why did we all chip in for the... 81 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,126 You'll see. 82 00:04:48,626 --> 00:04:50,543 -What's up, homies? -Well, finally! 83 00:04:50,626 --> 00:04:55,168 Happy birthday to you! 84 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:04,584 You shitheads! Do you really have to yell like that? 85 00:05:04,668 --> 00:05:09,584 People want to get some sleep after working all night in a boiler room! 86 00:05:09,668 --> 00:05:12,959 Hey, man, stop yelling! I'm trying to run a home office here! 87 00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:15,376 Why don't you shove that home office up your ass! 88 00:05:15,459 --> 00:05:17,959 Charging neighbors 150 with a discount?! 89 00:05:18,043 --> 00:05:21,626 You know how long I need to bust my ass in a boiler room to make that much money?! 90 00:05:22,918 --> 00:05:24,626 So this is how beer smells. 91 00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:29,501 No, that's how shit smells. Come on, Piotr. You only turn 18 once! 92 00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:33,793 -Go for it man! -OK, cheers. 93 00:05:37,376 --> 00:05:38,501 And she's like, 94 00:05:38,584 --> 00:05:41,876 "Let me know when you're about to cum 'cause I don't like it." 95 00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:45,001 So I'm like, "Chill, it's a long one..." 96 00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:50,959 -That's how I got the black eye. -Piotras, don't you need to take a leak? 97 00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:54,251 Oh yeah. Gotta take a leak guys. 98 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,584 Now's our chance. Watch if he's not coming back! 99 00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:59,709 -What you wanna do? -Quiet, dude. No time for explanation. 100 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:00,793 It'll be fun! 101 00:06:01,459 --> 00:06:03,418 Damn bush, all wet over there... 102 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:07,293 OK, let's drink before the beer gets flat. Ready, steady... 103 00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:18,376 Fucking shit! The fuck you've done... 104 00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:20,376 With all due respect, your rottenness, 105 00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:23,543 but you went behind the tape and knocked the ladder over. 106 00:06:23,626 --> 00:06:25,418 Oh, the pain! 107 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:28,793 As if someone was pouring a non-alcoholic beverage into my mouth! 108 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,084 You're gonna have to see a doctor. 109 00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:32,876 -Got any insurance? -What insurance? 110 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:36,168 Lucky you. You'll be paying for treatment on your own. 111 00:06:36,251 --> 00:06:37,543 Boss, boss! 112 00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:46,959 Good day, your motherfuckiness. 113 00:06:47,043 --> 00:06:48,793 Shit, Tomek, what happened to you? 114 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,126 Nothing serious. Just broke my leg. 115 00:06:51,209 --> 00:06:54,543 I know this pain. Hurts as if someone was serving a non-alcoholic-- 116 00:06:54,626 --> 00:06:57,459 Tell me why you're here, or I'll cut your balls off. 117 00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:01,751 I've got some news, sir. The first news is that you need to watch the news. 118 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,959 The other is that your car was picked up from the repair shop, 119 00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:07,209 and is parked as usual. No sign of the TV. 120 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,584 Last night an unusual event occurred in Cain Square. 121 00:07:10,668 --> 00:07:14,043 A group of drunken youths celebrating the 18th birthday of one of them 122 00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:17,251 desecrated the statue of our dark Lord Belzebutt. 123 00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:21,959 -We've got a recording of this incident. -You're getting only one more warning. 124 00:07:22,043 --> 00:07:25,959 Get down from the monument! Otherwise we're going to use tear gas! 125 00:07:28,001 --> 00:07:30,709 I'm the king of Hell! 126 00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:34,043 I'm the butt king! 127 00:07:34,126 --> 00:07:37,001 Last warning, butt king! 128 00:07:37,084 --> 00:07:39,334 Get off the statue! 129 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:43,084 Wow, these are Batman's glasses! 130 00:07:43,168 --> 00:07:44,376 I'm spraying! 131 00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:50,793 I'm Piotr the Invincible-- 132 00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:54,459 Bastards! 133 00:07:54,543 --> 00:07:58,959 How could they ruin such a fine monument! I'll show you! 134 00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:07,751 Call the General Assembly, I'll give a speech! 135 00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:14,709 Following the recent shameful misdemeanors 136 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:18,043 committed by the minors, I am announcing the following. 137 00:08:18,126 --> 00:08:21,584 The prohibition of selling and consuming alcohol in Hell 138 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:26,084 by persons under 18 years of age has been expanded. 139 00:08:26,168 --> 00:08:30,584 From now on, the legal age for consuming alcohol 140 00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:35,543 is raised from 18 to 21 years of age. 141 00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,084 What about cigs? 142 00:08:39,168 --> 00:08:42,209 Yeah, what about them? 143 00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:44,751 The total ban on smoking in Hell 144 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:49,293 shall continue and it shall also include e-cigarettes! 145 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,501 -Did you hear the noise? -What was it? 146 00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:08,209 Not sure... Sounded like a bang in the garage. 147 00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,793 I'd better check it out, you never know… 148 00:09:13,459 --> 00:09:17,959 You think you're so clever. Not this time, you drunkard. 149 00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:25,126 Hello! Anybody here? Hello! 150 00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:29,668 Oh, my dear Bożenka... 151 00:09:29,751 --> 00:09:32,126 Bożenka... 152 00:09:32,209 --> 00:09:37,043 You're not a beauty, but you sure are stupid. 153 00:09:37,918 --> 00:09:40,959 When are you finally going to learn that you will never win? 154 00:09:41,043 --> 00:09:44,793 No way. I'm too cunning for that. 155 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,543 Well, hit it! 156 00:09:46,626 --> 00:09:50,918 -As you wish. Hit it! -Ouch! What was that for, Bożenka?! 157 00:09:51,001 --> 00:09:52,876 I haven't even started. 158 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,793 You've been coming down here every night for the past week, 159 00:09:55,876 --> 00:09:59,293 and you stink of onions afterwards. You think I wouldn't figure out why? 160 00:09:59,376 --> 00:10:04,084 To kill the smell of booze. But it's over now... 161 00:10:06,918 --> 00:10:08,626 Told you I'd heard a bang. 162 00:10:11,709 --> 00:10:15,126 -Attack! -Michał, wait! Look... 163 00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:28,793 -OK, you know the plan, Cyprian? -I do, but this is a stupid idea. 164 00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:30,959 Shit, wanna get wasted today or not? 165 00:10:32,209 --> 00:10:33,459 Shall we? 166 00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:47,709 Morning, ma'am. Gimme half a liter of the cheapest vodka and a coke. 167 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,626 -Here you go. 18 zlotys. -What? 168 00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:55,793 Mister Staś! 169 00:10:56,459 --> 00:10:58,001 Not in this lifetime! 170 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,084 I've got him! 171 00:11:10,126 --> 00:11:12,376 I'll show you! 172 00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:19,209 Never show up your face in here again, you little punk! 173 00:11:23,293 --> 00:11:24,501 Janusz... 174 00:11:25,376 --> 00:11:27,001 you're a genius. 175 00:11:28,876 --> 00:11:31,959 We can't handle any more, just can't. 176 00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:37,126 We're getting more calls on a regular day than we did during the Cheap Booze Days. 177 00:11:37,209 --> 00:11:39,834 There's been so much more of that devil bullshit lately. 178 00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:43,126 Half of the officers are on paid leave! 179 00:11:43,209 --> 00:11:45,751 What a bunch of scared pussies. Boner, please help. 180 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:49,293 You're our last resort. Your fee must be reasonable, though. 181 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,376 Fine, we will take care of it. 182 00:11:51,459 --> 00:11:53,709 But first we need to find out 183 00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:57,501 what is causing all this sudden horned shit activity around here. 184 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:01,251 Apparently, they raised the drinking age in Hell. 185 00:12:01,334 --> 00:12:03,626 So the first riddle is solved! 186 00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:07,668 Now we need to figure out how to discourage them 187 00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,959 from partying up here on Earth. 188 00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:12,376 I've got it! Domino, can you sing? 189 00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:14,376 Not at all! But I do love doing it. 190 00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:17,959 Which pretty much applies to most performers. Perfect! 191 00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:20,043 DJ ANDREA KINKINELLI LIVE, FREE ADMISSION 192 00:12:20,126 --> 00:12:22,334 ONE VODKA & SPIRIT DRINK INCLUDED WITH TICKET 193 00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:29,584 Chill out, no rush. Take it easy. 194 00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:32,709 There's enough for everyone. One vodka with spirit coming up! 195 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,334 -And for you, sir? -The same! 196 00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:39,918 My heart is bleeding when I see how much booze is being wasted. 197 00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,126 Not your problem. You're not paying for it. 198 00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:45,001 That liquor was confiscated from an illegal bottling plant. 199 00:12:45,084 --> 00:12:48,959 So what? It tastes as good as the legal stuff. 200 00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:50,043 Shall we attack? 201 00:12:50,126 --> 00:12:52,918 We're gonna wait till everyone enters the club. Domino! 202 00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:55,626 -Yes, boss? -Get up on that stage! 203 00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,043 I'm on it. 204 00:13:04,126 --> 00:13:07,001 Who's got the guts? I'm here for some nuts 205 00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:09,959 Just nuts and that's it 'Cause I got the rest of shit I need! 206 00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:12,626 Grab a bite Not a lot 207 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:16,043 My nuts may just be too hot 208 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:21,918 This nut pie is for you, baby A nut love cake, baby 209 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,876 Open up your pie hole Open it really wide 210 00:13:24,959 --> 00:13:28,251 And imagine a wiener inside 211 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,959 How long will it take, boss? 212 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:36,376 We're running out of free booze and they're gonna kill me soon! 213 00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,626 Give us the booze, you thieves! 214 00:13:38,709 --> 00:13:40,084 Chill out! 215 00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:44,209 What about the free drinks included in the ticket price? Fucking hell! 216 00:13:44,293 --> 00:13:45,959 Come on, boss. I'm begging you... 217 00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:49,043 Not yet, not yet... 218 00:13:49,751 --> 00:13:51,043 Now! 219 00:13:57,084 --> 00:13:59,793 And now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's main attraction! 220 00:13:59,876 --> 00:14:01,251 A foam bath! 221 00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:05,001 We've got a special surprise for you: the foam was made with holy water! 222 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:21,043 You traitor! You'll die with me! 223 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:23,126 What the hell?! 224 00:14:23,751 --> 00:14:26,293 Surprised? I got myself desensitized! 225 00:14:26,376 --> 00:14:28,543 Get off the stage! 226 00:14:32,543 --> 00:14:36,376 Ha ha, motherfuckers! That's what you deserve! 227 00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:41,959 Uh-oh. 228 00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:46,709 Fuck! Help me out, boss! 229 00:14:50,043 --> 00:14:52,626 Damn it, I'm out of ammo! 230 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,084 I'm fucked! 231 00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,959 I wonder if Marcin and the boss are OK? 232 00:14:58,043 --> 00:14:59,876 Damn it, we're fucked! 233 00:14:59,959 --> 00:15:01,584 Boss, get us out of here 234 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:05,043 and I promise I'll work for free for like a half a year or so. 235 00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:07,043 Hmm, for free you say? 236 00:15:07,126 --> 00:15:09,209 And those past salaries I owe you? 237 00:15:09,293 --> 00:15:12,376 What past salaries? You owe me nothing, boss! 238 00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:14,751 Now you're talking! 239 00:15:17,126 --> 00:15:19,293 Turns out it won't be so easy. 240 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:22,668 Good bye, boss. We'll settle this on the other side. 241 00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:25,126 Hope they have an ATM in Heaven. 242 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:31,876 Here comes father Natan who scares the fuck out of Satan 243 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:37,459 Say hi to my six-barrel sacred bullet buddy! 244 00:15:54,459 --> 00:15:57,293 Natan? What are you doing here, you stinky wiener? 245 00:15:57,376 --> 00:16:03,459 You'd better give this wiener a big hug for saving your... ass! 246 00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:06,043 I know you like this kind of stuff in your company, 247 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:09,043 but keep your wiener away from my ass! 248 00:16:09,126 --> 00:16:11,501 Oh, so ungrateful. Next time I should-- 249 00:16:12,209 --> 00:16:15,709 Begone, unclean spirit! Get him off me! 250 00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:26,251 Phew. Ok, right. We're even. 251 00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:27,668 I'm not gonna be like that 252 00:16:27,751 --> 00:16:31,876 and I'll just say it: thanks for saving my... ass. 253 00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:34,626 Except I wasn't actually aiming at the devil. 254 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:39,918 THE END