1
00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:12,376
NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
2
00:00:16,543 --> 00:00:19,834
THE LAW OF SURPRISE
3
00:00:30,209 --> 00:00:32,918
I used to be a regular bum
back when I was alive,
4
00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:35,418
but once dead,
I've been living like a king!
5
00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:38,793
Did I say king? No, like a royal prince!
6
00:00:38,876 --> 00:00:41,834
I mean I work like a royal prince,
'cause I live elsewhere.
7
00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:45,334
Well, the castle may need
a little make over here and there but--
8
00:00:47,793 --> 00:00:51,334
Oh shit... Help! Please!
9
00:00:54,293 --> 00:01:00,293
Help! Please!
10
00:01:00,376 --> 00:01:03,834
What? My fishing permit? I'm sure
we can work something out, officer.
11
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:06,084
Uh-huh.
12
00:01:06,168 --> 00:01:08,543
Anybody?
13
00:01:10,543 --> 00:01:13,293
Help!
14
00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:17,459
Hey mister, keep yelling like that
and you're gonna pass out. Grab my hand!
15
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,459
Dude, you got so scared
your heart stopped.
16
00:01:20,543 --> 00:01:22,626
Your hands are as cold as a corpse.
17
00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:24,001
Hold on...
18
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,168
You are a corpse!
In fact, you're a phantom!
19
00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:28,793
-Come here, bastard!
-Wait!
20
00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:31,293
You don't have to kill me.
Got a better idea!
21
00:01:31,376 --> 00:01:35,793
Hmm, I hope it's at least 80-proof
22
00:01:35,876 --> 00:01:38,126
and about 25 ounces.
23
00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:41,543
Maybe it's not quite that awesome,
but you're gonna like it.
24
00:01:41,626 --> 00:01:44,709
-You’re wasting my time.
-Have you heard of the Law of Surprise?
25
00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,084
-No!
-So listen,
26
00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:48,001
we're gonna go to my crib
27
00:01:48,084 --> 00:01:51,126
and I'll give you something
which will will be there,
28
00:01:51,209 --> 00:01:53,876
but which I am not expecting!
Are you OK with that?
29
00:01:54,376 --> 00:01:56,209
Why not. I'm in.
30
00:02:15,751 --> 00:02:17,959
LAWN MOWING
CHEAP PRICES
31
00:02:18,043 --> 00:02:20,459
You can afford this place
on a phantom's salary?
32
00:02:20,543 --> 00:02:22,293
Are you kidding? I didn't pay for it.
33
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:25,334
My wife is still alive
and she runs a private clinic.
34
00:02:25,418 --> 00:02:27,584
Gotta set yourself up right, man!
35
00:02:32,209 --> 00:02:34,293
Olga? What are you doing here?
36
00:02:34,668 --> 00:02:37,876
Wait, it's Wednesday. I was actually
expecting the cleaning lady.
37
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,626
We'll find something else then.
38
00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:48,043
Stasia? You were supposed to
work your shift at the clinic.
39
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:51,709
Not anymore. I switched with Zenon,
he's going away on the weekend.
40
00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:54,876
Did I mess up your plans?
You didn't expect to see me, did you?
41
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:56,543
Oh shit...
42
00:02:57,876 --> 00:02:59,626
What do you mean I gotta bang her?
43
00:02:59,709 --> 00:03:04,376
This is the Law of Surprise.
You must do Stasia, no way out.
44
00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:07,209
You're lucky it's not
my in-laws with their dog.
45
00:03:07,293 --> 00:03:10,043
You know what?
I'd rather kill you after all.
46
00:03:10,126 --> 00:03:15,043
No way! Even if you do kill me,
the curse will remain intact.
47
00:03:15,126 --> 00:03:17,376
-And what's actually gonna happen?
-Bad luck.
48
00:03:17,459 --> 00:03:19,793
Everywhere you go.
49
00:03:19,876 --> 00:03:23,001
I don't mean the regular stuff,
like you buy a six-pack of beer
50
00:03:23,084 --> 00:03:25,293
and at home you find out
it's non-alcoholic.
51
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:26,876
Fuck, man. You're scaring me!
52
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,793
It's gonna suck big time.
53
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:33,709
Unaware, you'll open the first bottle,
taste it, and you actually gonna like it.
54
00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:37,876
Fine, I'll just do it.
55
00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:42,209
-Stasia, he's made up his mind.
-He has?
56
00:03:42,293 --> 00:03:46,293
Well, in that case, I'm leaving you
both now and, you know...
57
00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:49,334
Come on, don't be shy.
Bring it on, bachelor.
58
00:03:49,418 --> 00:03:51,709
My old man is not much of use to me.
59
00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:56,418
Meow!
60
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:58,126
Come over here, tiger.
61
00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,209
Oops, sorry.
62
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:06,126
Okay now... Make love to me!
63
00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:10,376
Fuck it. I can always add
some vodka and then drink it.
64
00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:16,709
The curse is already working.
65
00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:20,209
Woe betide, you mortal!
66
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:24,293
You don't know shit. It rarely starts
even without any curse.
67
00:04:25,126 --> 00:04:26,543
Told you! Later.
68
00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:39,668
Safe at last.
69
00:04:39,751 --> 00:04:44,418
The dumb prick almost got me to believe
in this shit about bad luck and surprises.
70
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:48,043
Had I fucked that giant bimbo,
that would've been bad luck. What the--
71
00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:54,334
Good evening.
Deputy sergeant Ćwok... I meant Ćwik.
72
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:58,126
Sobriety test. Please blow into device
for ten seconds till you hear the beep.
73
00:04:58,876 --> 00:05:03,001
Was he telling the truth after all?
No, it's just a coincidence.
74
00:05:03,084 --> 00:05:07,001
I'd better stop making myself believe
in that stuff and nothing bad will happen.
75
00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:10,793
Really? Watch me now!
76
00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:15,584
Here, jack of clubs, Makaó!
Calling a nine!
77
00:05:15,668 --> 00:05:18,584
Really? Why don't you watch me now?
78
00:05:18,668 --> 00:05:23,626
Bang, another jack. Makaó! Calling a ten!
79
00:05:27,668 --> 00:05:31,876
Looser! Here comes the queen! Game!
80
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:34,293
-You can't do that!
-Says who?
81
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,043
These are the rules!
82
00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:40,293
First, I play to win, and second...
83
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,043
Hände hoch!
84
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:45,209
Come on, Domino. We're friends, aren't we?
85
00:05:45,293 --> 00:05:47,959
There are no friends
when you play the game.
86
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:51,043
There goes my driving license
for three months--
87
00:05:51,126 --> 00:05:53,084
-Fuck!
-My bad, boss.
88
00:05:53,168 --> 00:05:57,293
I wanted to scare Marcinek off.
It was bad luck you came in just then.
89
00:05:57,376 --> 00:06:00,793
How many times am I supposed
to say - no bad luck for me!
90
00:06:00,876 --> 00:06:03,876
EXORCISTIC OFFICE /
BUILDING AND RENOVATION SERVICES
91
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:07,626
Say "bad luck" one more time
and I'll smack you.
92
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:11,293
No, I'm here to tell you
we've got a new job.
93
00:06:11,376 --> 00:06:15,209
A haunted video rental place.
94
00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:20,001
Whaddaya say, Luki? Isn't my plan sweet?
95
00:06:20,084 --> 00:06:22,376
The victims will be coming straight to us
96
00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:24,751
and we're gonna make money
from the rentals.
97
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,543
I'm not so sure, Szczepan.
Who rents video tapes nowadays?
98
00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:29,959
Well, nobody, I guess...
99
00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:32,918
But we're gonna have a blast
watching all the new releases!
100
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:36,418
Szczepan, what the fuck's wrong with you?
What new releases?
101
00:06:36,501 --> 00:06:40,959
We've got The Gladiator and Titanic.
These ran on TV like 50 times already!
102
00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:45,168
How come I got tempted to put
all my savings into this shitty business?
103
00:06:45,251 --> 00:06:49,793
Lifetime savings, do you get it?
I've lived for over 600 years.
104
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:54,293
How come? I made you do that.
Told you, you'll be fine with me--
105
00:06:54,376 --> 00:06:55,876
I'll be damned!
106
00:06:55,959 --> 00:07:01,334
Pinch me now! Or better punch me
in the fucking head, 'cause I think
107
00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:04,001
someone's actually coming over here.
108
00:07:04,084 --> 00:07:05,543
-What?
-OK, let's chill.
109
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:09,459
Let him pick a movie first and we're gonna
suck his blood right after.
110
00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:12,126
-Good morning.
-Morning.
111
00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,126
Good morning. Welcome!
112
00:07:14,209 --> 00:07:17,209
I'd like to sign up for a membership.
113
00:07:17,293 --> 00:07:20,626
We need two pieces of photo ID.
You must be a resident of Piaseczno,
114
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:23,126
otherwise a 100 zlotys deposit
is required.
115
00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:29,126
More requirements than for a loan. Here.
116
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:33,376
Thank you. Take a look around
and I'll get your membership card.
117
00:07:50,126 --> 00:07:52,459
Marcinek, now!
118
00:07:52,543 --> 00:07:55,709
What's with the radio?
Don't tell me the battery's dead!
119
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:58,543
-Are we going in?
-No.
120
00:07:58,626 --> 00:08:01,126
We're waiting for his signal on the radio.
121
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:07,209
-Shot fired! We're going in!
-No, we gotta wait for his signal.
122
00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:13,126
Look Szczepan, a regular lead bullet.
123
00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:16,709
He probably wants us to die from laughter.
124
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:21,126
Marcinek, Domino, when are you
two idiots gonna figure it out?
125
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,626
Is he for real? Regular bullets again!
126
00:08:26,626 --> 00:08:30,251
You see this idiot? He thinks he'll find
something in the cash register!
127
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,959
Nobody rents video tapes anymore,
you moron!
128
00:08:33,043 --> 00:08:34,709
I'm not looking for money!
129
00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:36,209
I know what he's up to.
130
00:08:36,293 --> 00:08:39,626
He'll stop the movie
and wait till we get bored to death.
131
00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:45,709
Get your dumb asses over here.
They're vampires. Bring the stuff!
132
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:49,459
Shit, he's calling for backup. Attack!
133
00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:54,543
Those bullets again.
Can't take it anymore...
134
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,793
Freeze or... you'll regret it!
135
00:08:58,876 --> 00:09:01,959
-What's the devil doing here?
-Forget it, just do what I'm doing.
136
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,293
I got you!
137
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:04,959
I'll show you!
138
00:09:10,126 --> 00:09:11,751
Luki, oh no!
139
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:14,543
But don't worry. I'll avenge your death!
140
00:09:17,584 --> 00:09:20,418
Old trick! Won't work on me!
141
00:09:20,501 --> 00:09:22,459
I'm not scared of your stinky pie hole!
142
00:09:22,543 --> 00:09:25,876
I grew up in the Middle Ages.
Nobody was using toothpaste back then.
143
00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:29,543
Or maybe not...
Don't tell me you ate some garlic...
144
00:09:30,209 --> 00:09:32,251
You sneaky Judas!
145
00:09:37,459 --> 00:09:39,709
-We did it.
-Yeah, that's it.
146
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,709
Let's go see the mayor and get paid...
147
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:49,793
Good, time for the bad luck
bullshit to be over.
148
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:58,459
LAWN MOWING
CHEAP PRICES
149
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:12,376
Why did we come here in the first place?
150
00:10:12,459 --> 00:10:14,584
And why did the boss get so wasted?
151
00:10:14,668 --> 00:10:17,918
I mean he always gets wasted,
but he let me drive
152
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:20,543
and told me to get
some condoms from the gas station.
153
00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:22,043
That's a bit suspicious.
154
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:24,834
-Wait, he's coming!
-Wow, he's smashed.
155
00:10:24,918 --> 00:10:28,043
He must've had
some more inside. Watch out!
156
00:10:29,876 --> 00:10:35,126
Fuck me... Now, that's one lucky dude!
157
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,418
Boss, I don't know how you did it,
158
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:40,084
but bad luck can now kiss your love pump.
159
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:41,168
Let's go!
160
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:44,084
-To the office?
-To the liquor store.
161
00:10:45,543 --> 00:10:50,251
THE END