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NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
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Look, Kleofas. Soon--
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WHEN THE DEVIL IS AT HIS WITS' END,
HE SENDS A WOMAN
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-Hold on.
-What?
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Is Klefoas your real name?
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My first name if Bartek,
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but it sounded shitty, so I re-baptized.
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-I mean re-satanized.
-OK, whatever.
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Look Kleo, we're about to become
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the biggest electric energy producers
in hell!
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Did I say in hell? In the ass!
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I'm going up.
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Hold it so I don't fall off,
like the last time!
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I did hold it!
If you hadn't touched the wires,
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you wouldn't have gotten shocked
and fallen off.
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You know, I'm a bit anxious,
but it's worth it.
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You'll see. I even installed
an outlet at my place.
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Too bad the only electrical device
I have is a toilet.
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But Rome was not built in one day, was it?
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They built Piaseczno first...
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A classic. One man, one jar.
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Type in...
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Two girls one cu--
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Ouch!
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Oh shit.
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Hey Greg, are you OK?
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Does it mean we're rich now?
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Even better! It means we're going
to pay off some of our debts
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and we'll still owe
only a bit. Let's go back!
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Dude, forget this ladder. Soon
you'll be able to afford two like that.
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Greg...
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I think we've just passed
the gates of hell.
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Yeah, right.
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We've been following the wire
which leads straight to--
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Oh shit...
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Good evening.
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Greg, my man, check out this
cool little drilling machine.
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And this proves why tech schools
are better than regular high schools.
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It's an angle grinder, dork.
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Bravo! A prize for Mr. Technician!
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Seriously?
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Shit, what did you to Greg?
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I'll kill you! I gotta go down to hell
to grab my nunchaku.
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Faster, faster!
I hope he's not following me.
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OK, the gates to hell! Hop in!
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Oh no, not the gates to heaven!
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It hurts so much! I'm allergic to heaven.
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Let me out!
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And we're done with the second one!
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Nice! Load the gates back onto the truck
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and let's go to the power plant
to claim our prize.
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The illegal operation has been ceased!
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-An angle grinder and up to heavens?
-That's right.
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Two entrepreneurs, actually two
environment-friendly entrepreneurs,
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who wanted to generate energy
from alternative sources.
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And he killed them both!
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That Boner guy again! Fuck it.
We're deploying our military!
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With all due respect, your devilness
and the-fuck-with-that-ness.
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We have to respect the truce.
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If we deploy our troops, Heavens will
respond. It'll start the Armagedon.
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Fine, perhaps you're right.
So what should we do?
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My wife...
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Yes, darling?
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And what time is it?
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Damn it. I'm on my way!
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I gotta pick up Calvin
from the kindergarten.
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Eh, women...
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Me, the great ruler of hell,
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but once she's got an issue,
I'm running with my tail between my legs.
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They have their ways.
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No man can handle his woman.
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Hey... wait!
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Turn off the hammer mode!
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-What?
-Hammer mode, moron. Turn it off!
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It's a drilling machine, not a hammer!
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I knew it.
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He's grinding with the hammer mode on,
making holes in the carriage.
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The dumb ass is using left rotation,
and grinds against the grain.
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A brand new grinder,
just a few years old, is now garbage.
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I'll have to deduct it from your pay.
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Boss, just wanna remind you
I'm working for you for free.
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So three times in the neck.
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Lucky me, I thought it'd be four times.
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-Oh, Jesus!
-One!
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-Boss...
-Not now.
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I'm busy with Domino over here.
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Two! Three!
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-What is it?
-Some lady on the phone.
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She has a problem with orbs.
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How many times did I tell you
that orbs are not real?
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Apparently these ones are...
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Twenty now, the rest after the job's done.
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Twenty a head or for everybody?
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-Everybody.
-Not much really...
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Don't be picky, Szczepan.
Beggars can't be choosers.
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We've never got paid.
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Nobody believes in us.
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Whatever, I can hire
the strigas for half a price.
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00:05:01,584 --> 00:05:04,043
OK, fine. Why you're so nervous?
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Boys, take your positions!
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Orbs don't exist, ma'am.
102
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It's just dust reflection
from a flashlight.
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But we charge two hundred anyway...
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-We can also work this out another way.
-Work it out with those guys first.
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Go get them! Follow me!
106
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Orbs? I don't believe it.
107
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You will believe it when you
get to collect your teeth from the floor!
108
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Oh gee, what have you done to Szczepan?!
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What happened?
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Marius I have to tell you something,
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the truth is we are not immortal.
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We do live three or four years,
which is quite long,
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but then it's over.
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Six feet under.
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It's easy to kill us, as you probably
figured it out already.
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Just a simple gunshot
or a kick with a shoe and it's over.
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Farewell my friend.
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I never meant to offend you,
except for the sticker on your back
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which said: "kick my ass". That was me.
120
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Ha ha, Szczepan, the bullet
made you lose your mind.
121
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Orbs aren't immortal. Yeah right...
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Holy moly, maybe Szczepan
did say we were immortal,
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but I don't fancy getting slapped
with one of those fly swatters.
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-So what are we gonna do?
-Let's go to the balcony
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-And we're gonna get high while at it.
-Now you're talking!
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We did it. That was the last one.
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As I said, it'll be 200.
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Though if you need
an invoice it's not worth it.
129
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Mr. Bogdan, we've got a little problem.
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I've only got...
Actually got no money at all...
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Just don't fight him. You'd lose anyway.
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Earn his trust,
maybe invite him over to your place,
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sleep with him if necessary.
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And once he's a sleep,
inject him with cicuta.
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This will be the end of Boner. You got it?
136
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Yes, my darkest lord.
137
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So, get your ass up on Earth
and if you do well, then...
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OK, get out. My wife's calling.
Gotta pick up. Hello...
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I've got no money. Instead I'd like to
invite you over for some tea and pie.
140
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Pie!
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And some tea! You can't say no to that.
142
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-Are we staying?
-Unfortunately no.
143
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Domino, you gotta finish
working on the truck.
144
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And you, Marcinek,
need to watch this moron.
145
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He knows about this job as much as
a crossophob knows about prayers.
146
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Me, however, I've got nothing
else to do today, so...
147
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-Why aren't we moving?
-Let's wait for the boss.
148
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Did you see that chick?
It won't take him too long.
149
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Wam bam, thank you ma'am.
150
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You're wrong. The tea will be hot at first
so they won't drink it right away.
151
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Unless you mix
half boiling and half cool water,
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but one has to have skills
to do that in the right order.
153
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Ma'am, what about our 20 zlotys?
We finished already.
154
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Shh!
155
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Golly!
156
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Ma'am,
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so what about...
158
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Fuck, I'm out of ammo.
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Come back here. You've got
no chance, surely not in the loo!
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We will meet again, baby doll.
161
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What a prick, he said he wore a rubber.
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THE END