NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Look, Kleofas. Soon--
WHEN THE DEVIL IS AT HIS WITS' END, HE SENDS A WOMAN
-Hold on. -What?
Is Klefoas your real name?
My first name if Bartek,
but it sounded shitty, so I re-baptized.
-I mean re-satanized. -OK, whatever.
Look Kleo, we're about to become
the biggest electric energy producers in hell!
Did I say in hell? In the ass!
I'm going up.
Hold it so I don't fall off, like the last time!
I did hold it! If you hadn't touched the wires,
you wouldn't have gotten shocked and fallen off.
You know, I'm a bit anxious, but it's worth it.
You'll see. I even installed an outlet at my place.
Too bad the only electrical device I have is a toilet.
But Rome was not built in one day, was it?
They built Piaseczno first...
A classic. One man, one jar.
Type in...
Two girls one cu--
Ouch!
Oh shit.
Hey Greg, are you OK?
Does it mean we're rich now?
Even better! It means we're going to pay off some of our debts
and we'll still owe only a bit. Let's go back!
Dude, forget this ladder. Soon you'll be able to afford two like that.
Greg...
I think we've just passed the gates of hell.
Yeah, right.
We've been following the wire which leads straight to--
Oh shit...
Good evening.
Greg, my man, check out this cool little drilling machine.
And this proves why tech schools are better than regular high schools.
It's an angle grinder, dork.
Bravo! A prize for Mr. Technician!
Seriously?
Shit, what did you to Greg?
I'll kill you! I gotta go down to hell to grab my nunchaku.
Faster, faster! I hope he's not following me.
OK, the gates to hell! Hop in!
Oh no, not the gates to heaven!
It hurts so much! I'm allergic to heaven.
Let me out!
And we're done with the second one!
Nice! Load the gates back onto the truck
and let's go to the power plant to claim our prize.
The illegal operation has been ceased!
-An angle grinder and up to heavens? -That's right.
Two entrepreneurs, actually two environment-friendly entrepreneurs,
who wanted to generate energy from alternative sources.
And he killed them both!
That Boner guy again! Fuck it. We're deploying our military!
With all due respect, your devilness and the-fuck-with-that-ness.
We have to respect the truce.
If we deploy our troops, Heavens will respond. It'll start the Armagedon.
Fine, perhaps you're right. So what should we do?
My wife...
Yes, darling?
And what time is it?
Damn it. I'm on my way!
I gotta pick up Calvin from the kindergarten.
Eh, women...
Me, the great ruler of hell,
but once she's got an issue, I'm running with my tail between my legs.
They have their ways.
No man can handle his woman.
Hey... wait!
Turn off the hammer mode!
-What? -Hammer mode, moron. Turn it off!
It's a drilling machine, not a hammer!
I knew it.
He's grinding with the hammer mode on, making holes in the carriage.
The dumb ass is using left rotation, and grinds against the grain.
A brand new grinder, just a few years old, is now garbage.
I'll have to deduct it from your pay.
Boss, just wanna remind you I'm working for you for free.
So three times in the neck.
Lucky me, I thought it'd be four times.
-Oh, Jesus! -One!
-Boss... -Not now.
I'm busy with Domino over here.
Two! Three!
-What is it? -Some lady on the phone.
She has a problem with orbs.
How many times did I tell you that orbs are not real?
Apparently these ones are...
Twenty now, the rest after the job's done.
Twenty a head or for everybody?
-Everybody. -Not much really...
Don't be picky, Szczepan. Beggars can't be choosers.
We've never got paid.
Nobody believes in us.
Whatever, I can hire the strigas for half a price.
OK, fine. Why you're so nervous?
Boys, take your positions!
Orbs don't exist, ma'am.
It's just dust reflection from a flashlight.
But we charge two hundred anyway...
-We can also work this out another way. -Work it out with those guys first.
Go get them! Follow me!
Orbs? I don't believe it.
You will believe it when you get to collect your teeth from the floor!
Oh gee, what have you done to Szczepan?!
What happened?
Marius I have to tell you something,
the truth is we are not immortal.
We do live three or four years, which is quite long,
but then it's over.
Six feet under.
It's easy to kill us, as you probably figured it out already.
Just a simple gunshot or a kick with a shoe and it's over.
Farewell my friend.
I never meant to offend you, except for the sticker on your back
which said: "kick my ass". That was me.
Ha ha, Szczepan, the bullet made you lose your mind.
Orbs aren't immortal. Yeah right...
Holy moly, maybe Szczepan did say we were immortal,
but I don't fancy getting slapped with one of those fly swatters.
-So what are we gonna do? -Let's go to the balcony
-And we're gonna get high while at it. -Now you're talking!
We did it. That was the last one.
As I said, it'll be 200.
Though if you need an invoice it's not worth it.
Mr. Bogdan, we've got a little problem.
I've only got... Actually got no money at all...
Just don't fight him. You'd lose anyway.
Earn his trust, maybe invite him over to your place,
sleep with him if necessary.
And once he's a sleep, inject him with cicuta.
This will be the end of Boner. You got it?
Yes, my darkest lord.
So, get your ass up on Earth and if you do well, then...
OK, get out. My wife's calling. Gotta pick up. Hello...
I've got no money. Instead I'd like to invite you over for some tea and pie.
Pie!
And some tea! You can't say no to that.
-Are we staying? -Unfortunately no.
Domino, you gotta finish working on the truck.
And you, Marcinek, need to watch this moron.
He knows about this job as much as a crossophob knows about prayers.
Me, however, I've got nothing else to do today, so...
-Why aren't we moving? -Let's wait for the boss.
Did you see that chick? It won't take him too long.
Wam bam, thank you ma'am.
You're wrong. The tea will be hot at first so they won't drink it right away.
Unless you mix half boiling and half cool water,
but one has to have skills to do that in the right order.
Ma'am, what about our 20 zlotys? We finished already.
Shh!
Golly!
Ma'am,
so what about...
Fuck, I'm out of ammo.
Come back here. You've got no chance, surely not in the loo!
We will meet again, baby doll.
What a prick, he said he wore a rubber.
THE END