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NETFLIX 影集

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（臭屁教授大戰超級怪物3D！）

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劇名：來自地獄的疫苗

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-瑪莉歐拉，妳喜歡這部電影嗎？
-還可以，但3D眼鏡讓我頭暈

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可惜眼鏡不能吃

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就算吃光兩袋爆米花也不飽

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媽的，米拉斯

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剛剛的電影太棒了！

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天啊，臭屁教授不僅用

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科學力量打敗超級怪物

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居然還是全3D製作！

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而且他把電漿炬塞進屁股的時候

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我簡直身歷其境

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沒錯！神似生殖器的殭屍猴跳出來時

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我還以為我會尿褲子

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幸好開演前我才在座椅後解放

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這是我花零元看過最棒的電影

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既然如此，我們明天還來嗎？

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布巴，你要連續六天看同一部嗎？

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當然沒問題！不過現在該回地獄了

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要是統領發現我們擅自開門外出

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他就會打開我們的腦門

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別亂說，不然會成真

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瑪莉歐拉，我會證明給妳看

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只要沒有意外，再過幾年我就能買車

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-然後所有女孩都會愛我
-什麼？

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我是說，所有女孩都會怕我
因為我開車技術不好

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別擔心，我會讓妳幸福的

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你們迷路了嗎？

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不，先生，我們知道路

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有什麼問題嗎？

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那個…瑪莉歐拉，跟我來

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好痛！大哥們放輕鬆，動口不動手

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-米拉斯，有件事困擾著我
-什麼事？

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如果夸克砲比電漿炬強大一百萬倍

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臭屁教授為何不使用？

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這很簡單，因為夸克砲
塞不進超級怪物的屁眼

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米拉斯，等等

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你看！

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別這樣！

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可惡！

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好痛！

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布巴，你跟我想法一致嗎？

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對，我想知道超級怪物
沒有鼻子如何擤鼻涕…

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不是那個，我們可以對那孩子下降頭

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讓惡魔附到他身上

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他就能送那些欺負人的傢伙們上西天

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你辦不到啦，距離太遠了

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我們一起就可以

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來吧！一、二、三

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書呆子，準備好跟你的牙齒說再見吧

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在那之前

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你要先跟你的蛋蛋道別

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你這傢伙！

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看到了吧？這樣才對，一拳就倒！

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可沒這麼簡單！

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他麻煩大了

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球棒加上破酒瓶等於腦震盪和撕裂傷

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你忘記他大腦暫時失能了嗎？

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他會受重傷的！

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正合我意

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失去意識算你幸運

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因為我打算在你臉上留下一點紀念品

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馬辛，你沒事吧？

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（驅魔狂人辦公室
勃納建築事務所）

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那個蠢蛋去哪了？

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老大拜託，我就在這裡

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我是指另一個蠢蛋

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馬辛嗎？你何不打給他？

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我正在打

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他不接電話

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大概在睡覺

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他昨天去約會了

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老大，借我你的手機
我知道他女友的電話

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-別弄壞
-好的

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喂？

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瑪莉歐拉，妳好

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妳知道馬辛在哪嗎？

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我們在等他，他上班遲到了

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-什麼？
-什麼？

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-妳說什麼？
-她說什麼？

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-糟糕！
-快點告訴我

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老大，你先深呼吸，別被嚇到

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昨天他們約會時，馬辛攻擊了四個人

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奪走他們的錢包

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還拋下瑪莉歐拉自己跑去酒吧狂歡

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不可置信！

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看吧，我就知道在我的指導下

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他終於成長了

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好了，我們去工作吧

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他知道該去哪裡會合

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-下車，你去後面推
-什麼？又來了？

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別抱怨了，才三公里而已

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-難道他不用戴嘴套嗎？
-戴了要怎麼咬人？

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好，告訴我事件經過
我沒有一整天跟你耗

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我是說，我有很多時間
所以更該做好時間管理

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好，我會告訴你事情的來龍去脈

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像去教堂告解一樣

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你一定會跟我一樣毫無頭緒

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這一切要從兩週前說起

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穀倉裡發生了怪異的現象

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牛群看起來很緊張

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豬隻們

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也跟著神經緊繃

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起初，一切貌似沒有殺傷力

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牠們只會互相咆哮

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像是：“哞你媽”

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“去你的豬頭”

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最後，牠們展開了肉搏戰

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牛群攻擊豬隻

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豬隻反擊

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這場暴動持續了好幾天

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直到我用電子圍欄把牠們分開才停息

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那之後我們的小屋也變得陰陽怪氣

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我老婆暴怒

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原本我覺得和平常沒兩樣

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結果這女人居然搬回老家

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正當我鬆了一口氣

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我的好朋友貝貝也跟著離家出走

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牠住在爐灶後面，為我們帶來好運

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以及淡淡的惡臭

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不過不用鼻子呼吸其實聞不太到

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反而四處都是這些臭老鼠！

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惡魔鼠輩！

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斯坦修先生，我有個好消息

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你的運氣比腦袋好

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那是當然，我本來就不喜歡唸書

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-達米樂
-是，老大

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去車上拿除魔藥，放在房子周圍

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沒問題！

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牠們怎麼不出來？

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可能是除魔藥有點風化

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所以我等於把200元丟水裡了嗎？

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希望如此

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不，等等

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我肚子快爆炸了

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可惡，路克詹

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我警告過你別吃那些粉紅球

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但我該如何抗拒美食？

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真好吃！哎呀，痛死我啦！

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你射歪了

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路克詹，你剛放屁嗎？

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-對啊，怎麼了？
-沒事，我也放了

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天啊，肚子好痛！

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兩彈都歪了

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歪了又歪，揮棒落空

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該死！

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搞定，你家沒有惡魔了

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你確定這樣就解決了嗎？

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我們老大說一就是一

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只要運氣好的話，就沒問題

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哈囉！

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你們這些白癡！

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貝貝！

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哇！好重的味道！

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如果你還想活命，就別用鼻子呼吸

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勃納先生，感謝你

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我的好運回來了！

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幸福會再度光臨我們家

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廢話少說，有啤酒嗎？

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牠真愛開玩笑

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我錯過什麼了嗎？

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馬辛別擔心，農場裡的害蟲都清除了

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我來檢查看看

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他想幹嘛？

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（初領聖餐儀式）

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我不管了，再見！

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我還不如去小賭城散播好運

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當然要把運氣都給老闆

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怎麼回事？

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我做了什麼？

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你讓這間房子還俗了

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什麼？

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不！我可沒答應

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把我的錢還來！

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撤退！

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馬辛是被來自地獄的誘惑附身

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-什麼？
-不過技術不好

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因為隔天就失效了

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不過你似乎是容易
被髒東西附身的體質

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可惡，怎麼會這樣

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別擔心，你可以接種抵抗地獄的疫苗

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兩週後，你就會對惡魔免疫

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就像達米樂對知識百毒不侵

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安全嗎？

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-裡面有什麼？
-放心，這是測試後的成品

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安堤克萊斯龍的毒液混伏特加

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我一定會後悔，好痛！

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-好了
-接下來呢？

190
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接著要等幾分鐘，觀察有無副作用

191
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什麼副作用？

192
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:15,459
我可不想行光合作用

193
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馬辛放輕鬆，副作用不常見

194
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你看吧？什麼事都沒發生

195
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老大，請看一下你胸前的羅盤

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這不太對勁

197
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超級怪物！

198
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超級不太對勁！

199
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太無聊了！我要殺人殺時間！

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糟糕！達米樂快拿繩子！

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馬辛別這樣！我是達米樂！

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躲進廁所！

203
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我也要躲廁所！

204
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不過我不介意坐在洗手台上

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好痛！馬辛快住手，你會勒死我們！

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而且我很怕癢！

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你們死定了！

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等等，我想到了

209
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你們可以講笑話娛樂我

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我不知道

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我不收錢，只要你付夠多錢！

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太好笑了！

213
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雖然我聽不太懂

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我再講一個

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一名性成癮者走進鞋店

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店員問他：“您需要幫忙嗎？”

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“不，我可以自己打手槍”

218
00:11:36,168 --> 00:11:39,459
這很好笑，值得你笑到拉在褲子上！

219
00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,126
我失陪一下

220
00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,376
可惡，我快沒笑話可講了

221
00:11:48,459 --> 00:11:50,751
老大，副作用會持續很久嗎？

222
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:51,918
不會

223
00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,043
幾天吧？

224
00:11:54,126 --> 00:11:54,959
（結束）

225
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:56,959
不到300元就能驅魔

226
00:11:57,043 --> 00:12:00,293
其實只要200元，開發票才會多收錢

227
00:12:00,376 --> 00:12:03,376
小心點，惡魔統領，他將來踹你屁股

228
00:12:03,459 --> 00:12:06,543
小心點，巴特西法，下個目標就是你

229
00:12:11,543 --> 00:12:14,543
字幕翻譯：樓艾苓