A NETFLIX SERIES
Goodbye, boss.
Damn!
A FEW DAYS EARLIER…
HELL-BOIL SINNER COOKING BOILER REPAIRS
Damn it. Kamil! Kamilek, can you hear me?
Shit, you moron. You killed him. Kamil!
Killed, right. I sprayed it in his mouth for fun.
This is a bug poison, man!
What do you think we need these masks for?
He's dead.
Shit, why did I get you this job?
I even vouched for you! If I get fired, I'll knock your teeth out.
Wait. I have an idea.
DISINFECTION DERATIZATION
DELICIOUS VODKA GARWOLIN
Hey, give me a sip.
Where am I? We've just played a concert.
Crapcert. You had a dream when you were unconscious.
What a shame! It was fucking awesome!
The club's sold out, the place is full, we're rocking on the stage,
and chicks in the front row are showing their boobs.
Eh, it'd be nice to play some art, right?
Damn right!
But metal won't cut it in hell.
-Only disco polo. -Fuck it, let's play for people.
An entire tour.
Are you crazy? Don't you remember how it ended last time?
We'll be careful.
First of all, so that we don't get burnt, one of us will always be sober.
We'll draw who.
Fuck, knowing my luck, it'll always be me.
But a few beers to cheer up is okay?
Come on, beer's not alcohol. Of course it's okay. Cheers!
My cheer now!
But, guys, I already sold the drums.
No problem, you can steal a third set.
Hey, come on, let us in. We have enough money to get in.
There's no room. It's sold out.
Fucking hell Ajronwejder play
Defekator, finish your beer and come out. Can't you hear them?
-You're meant to stay sober! -Jesus, I'm not drinking.
It's just a beer.
Fucking hell Ajronwejder play
Those devil costumes are awesome. Damn, they look real.
They're so-so.
They could be scarier to intimidate on stage like Lady Gaga in her meat dress.
We may be playing shitty But who plays great nowadays?
Our fans aren't picky 'Cause they listen to us drunk
For that price
Don't expect too much
We play for a bottle
As for me, it can be
They're rocking it! Fucking awesome!
Yeah, a great song!
I meant it's fucking loud. And the song is average.
-You mean great? -Of course I mean great. Cool!
We may not play right But at least we drink hard
Our lyrics are about fuck-knows-what It doesn't matter, I'm babbling anyway
Free concert
On the wall hangs such a sign
We don't care about the money
Beating the bar's record Is the most important
Ajronwejder Our home is hell
Like after spicy food It burns like hell
Spicy food and the devil It's going to be hell
Fucking awesome chorus Four times hell
Yeah! Next song in a second, but first…
Cheers!
Grzes, one of us was meant to be sober.
Beer's not alcohol.
And we're done playing.
Follow me to the bar!
Storm it like you storm hairdressers before the lockdown.
Damn it!
Grzes, you're meant to stay sober!
Easy, it's just beer.
BEER
Follow me! Let's go to town!
-Shit, it's gonna get messy again. -Yeah.
Whatever happens, it's on Grzes. He's meant to stay sober.
You call this "taped over," moron?
-The entire baseboard's covered in paint. -I did it right. That's how you tape over.
You should've been careful near the tape
instead of rushing like a moron on a highway.
Also, there should be dust sheets on the floor.
What for? Domino is cheaper.
Right, speaking of money--
Quiet, Marcinek.
Domino, turn it up.
Participants of a concert of the heavy metal band, Ajronwejder,
first demolished the pub, where the event was held,
and then stormed into a nearby go-go club,
where they became violent.
Luckily, the participants were fighting each other,
and no bystanders were hurt.
Two ambulances, which arrived at the scene of the brawl, were damaged.
Here is the footage from the club.
Always and everywhere The guards of hell will be fucked
Always and every--
Let's hope that the band's next concert is calmer.
Musicians styling themselves as devils will perform tonight at the Lavatory club.
These are the scoundrels that once got me punched in the face.
And they don't "style themselves." They are devils.
Boss?
They have crossed the line.
Okay, let's finish this and go.
We're going to a concert tonight.
LAVATORY
For fuck's sake How long do we have to stand?
This is so cool! There's twice as many people tonight.
That means twice as much booze.
I had a fucking brilliant idea, right?
Sure as fuck!
Hey, what the heck is this crap?
Nonalcoholic?
You said that beer's not alcohol.
But nonalcoholic beer is not beer.
We'll ask for normal ones later. Now, let's play.
We won't ask. We'll demand.
And we're making changes.
Whoever draws abstinence twice in a row
drinks as normal the third time.
Hey, why are we unplugged?
Shit, I don't know any acoustic chords.
Give us our ticket money back!
Exactly, zero zloty!
Told you to invest in a sound technician.
I offer myself.
Hands up! In Russian, hände hoch!
Oh shit, it's this freak again. Let's go!
Marcinek, the door!
Done!
Oh no, they took the van.
I won't spare them.
-I won't spare them. -What are you gonna do?
Didn't you see he had a gun?
We're taking a security guard to the next gig.
Grzesiek, don't fucking tell me you want to ask
the one whose name shouldn't be said for help.
Nebulizator!
He's here.
Wait, don't go any closer. He might accidentally tase us.
Let's talk from here. Hey, man! Long time no see!
-He doesn't know you mean him. -Damn.
We're in the open field.
Never mind. It's hit or miss.
Hi, Nebulizator.
Holy shit, did you see that? Hey, Grzes, what's up?
I have business to discuss. How much do you make here?
I'll say it this way. I can't complain.
Although I have no reason to be pleased either,
but as the work, so the pay.
-Llamas? -Careful, they spit.
Wouldn't an electric fence be better?
Grzes, who have you brought?
This land's perimeter is two and a half thousand meters.
And the wire costs 80 grosz per meter.
So do the math of how much it would cost.
A fortune! Add the electricity it eats up!
That's why the landlord hired me to keep watch.
Because I'm cheaper and almost as effective--
Where are you going, you stupid animal?
He was faster. Oh, well, he won't eat it all.
Out of curiosity, what's the job?
We need a security guard at our gigs.
It sounds like the perfect job for me.
Unfortunately, I gave the landlord my word that I would watch the lupines.
And Nebulizator's word…
Pardon. The word of Nebu…
is worth more than money. Out of curiosity, how much do you pay?
Well, here's the catch. We don't pay,
but there's free beer for the band and crew at gigs.
Beer is not alcohol.
And vodka.
-Not many people. -They'll come if we start playing. Hit it.
Uh-oh!
And now say goodbye to--
-Domino, why the checkers? -Relax, boss, I'm good at it.
They don't stand a chance.
I'm out of ammunition.
No sport shoes allowed!
It's as hard as a teenager's dick.
Give me that!
Goodbye, boss.
Fuck.
That's enough. Sit down and fight!
Which one? I choose white.
Did you see that? Like in shit!
"Like in shit"! That's good!
What's happened?
This moron sprayed insect killer before we got to put our masks on.
What? So these concerts were just a dream?
And we didn't defeat that exorcist at all?
What a shame! Wait, I have an idea.
Oh, shit! Kamil, put the spray down, or I'm gonna kick your ass…
THE END
Ajronwejder Our home is hell
Like after spicy food It burns like hell
Spicy food and the devil It's going to be hell
Fucking awesome chorus Four times hell
Subtitle translation by: Agnieszka Czarnecka