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A NETFLIX SERIES
2
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Hey, boss, I guess this is goodbye.
3
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Oh crap!
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A FEW DAYS EARLIER…
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HELL-BOIL SINNER COOKING BOILER REPAIRS
6
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Damn it. Kamil! Kamil!
Kamilek, can you hear me?
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Ah shit, you moron, you killed him. Kamil!
8
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Yeah right, I killed him. I sprayed it
in his mouth just for fun.
9
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This is a bug poison, you fucking idiot!
What do you think we need these masks for?
10
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He's dead.
11
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Shit, why did I get you this damn job?
I can't believe I even vouched for you!
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If I get fired, I'll knock your teeth out.
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Hold on. I've got an idea.
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DISINFECTION
DERATIZATION
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DELICIOUS VODKA
GARWOLIN
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Hey, give me a sip.
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Ah!
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Er, uh, where am I?
Uh, we were just playing at a concert.
19
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What concert? You were just having a dream
while you were laying there unconscious.
20
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No! That's a damn shame!
'Cause it was fucking awesome!
21
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The club was sold out,
the place was jam-full,
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we were rocking so hard on the stage
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and best of all, all the chicks
in the front row had their huge tits out.
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Eh, it'd be really nice
to play gigs again, right?
25
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Damn sure! Right?
26
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But no one's a fan of metal in hell.
27
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Only satanic folk music.
28
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Fuck it, let's play for humans.
A complete concert tour around the world.
29
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Are you crazy? Don't you remember
how that shit ended last time around?
30
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Whatever, we'll be careful.
31
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First of all, to make sure
there aren't any screw-ups,
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one of us has to be sure
to always stay sober-ish.
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We'll choose who at random.
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Fuck, knowing my kinda bad luck,
it'll naturally be me every time.
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Surely a few beers to cheer me up
should be okay?
36
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Come on now, beer's not alcohol.
Of course it's okay. Cheers!
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Ah!
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Hey! Give me some of that!
39
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Oh, but guys,
I already sold the drumkit I stole.
40
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So what's the fucking problem?
Just steal a third drum set.
41
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Hey, come on, let us in.
42
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We've got money for the tickets.
We have the exact amount.
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There's no room.
The show is completely sold out.
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Fucking A!
Ajronwejder play!
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Fucking A! Ajronwejder play!
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DRESSING ROOM
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Defekator, finish your beer
and get out on stage. Can't you hear them?
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-And you weren't supposed to drink!
-Jesus, I'm not really drinking.
49
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It's just a beer.
50
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Fucking A!
Ajronwejder play
51
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Those devil costumes are awesome.
Damn, they look fucking real.
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Eh, they're all right.
53
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They could be scarier
and more intimidating while on stage
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like Lady Gaga
when she was in her meat dress.
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What a racket! Fucking awesome!
56
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Yeah, it's a kick-ass song!
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I meant it's really fucking loud in here.
And the song is average.
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-So it's fucking great? Yeah!
-Of course it's great. Fucking fire!
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That's right!
The next song will start soon, but first…
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Cheers!
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Grześ, what the hell?
One of us was supposed to be sober.
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Beer isn't alcohol.
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Ah!
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Yee-haw!
65
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I guess we're all done playing now.
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Follow me to the bar!
67
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Storm it like you storm
the hairdressers before the lockdown.
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Oh crap!
69
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Grzes, you weren't supposed to drink!
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Don't worry, it's just some beer.
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BEER
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Follow me! Let's go to town!
73
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Shit, it's gonna
get messy again, isn't it?
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Well, whatever shit happens it's on Grzes.
He wasn't supposed to drink.
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Ah!
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Yee-haw!
77
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See how badly
you taped over, you moron?
78
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Now the entire baseboard's
covered in paint.
79
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I did it right.
That's how you professionally tape over.
80
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You should've been more careful
painting near the tape
81
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instead of speeding through it
like drunk racehorse with blinders on.
82
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And also, we should've covered the floor
in drop cloths before we even started.
83
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What the hell for? Domino is much cheaper.
84
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-Oh yeah, actually, speaking of money…
-Quiet, Marcinek.
85
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Domino, turn that up.
86
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Concert goers
of the heavy metal group Ajronwejder
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first completely demolished the pub,
where the event was being held
88
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and then proceeded to storm
into one of the nearby go-go clubs
89
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where they became very violent.
90
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Luckily, the fans were
only fighting each other
91
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so no bystanders or witnesses
were injured during this rampage.
92
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However, two ambulances, that were called
to the scene of the brawl, were damaged.
93
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Here, we have some footage
from outside the club.
94
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Let us all hope that the band's
next concert is a much calmer affair.
95
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These musicians dressed as demons
will perform tonight at the Lavatory club.
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Those assholes are the idiot shitbag's
97
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that got me punched in the face
a while back.
98
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And they're not dressing up.
They are actual demons.
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Uh, hey, boss?
100
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Now the line has definitely been crossed.
101
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Okay, let's do this
quick and sloppy and go.
102
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We are all going to a demon concert.
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LAVATORY
104
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How long should we wait?
105
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For fuck's sake! How long should we wait?
106
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For fuck's sake! How long should we wait?
107
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This is so cool!
There's twice as many people tonight.
108
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That's great. That means
there'll be twice as much booze.
109
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You know my idea
was so fucking magnificent, no?
110
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You know it! Right, man?
111
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Hey, what is this garbage?
112
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Non-alcoholic?
113
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You keep telling yourself
that beer's not alcohol.
114
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But non-alcoholic beer is not beer.
115
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We'll ask for normal ones later.
Now we have to play.
116
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No, we aren't gonna ask.
We will demand it.
117
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And we're gonna make some changes.
118
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Whoever draws sober twice in a row
gets to drink the third time around.
119
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Hey, why are we unplugged?
120
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Shit, I don't know any acoustic chords.
121
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Give us our ticket money back!
122
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Exactly! Zero zloty!
123
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Told you we should have
invested in hiring a sound guy.
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At your service.
125
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Put your hands up! Or in case
I wasn't clear, put your fucking hands up!
126
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Oh shit, it's that lunatic again. Run!
127
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Marcinek, the exit!
128
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All set!
129
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Uh-oh, they took the van.
130
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Oh, they will pay for that.
131
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They will pay for that.
132
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Heh, so what are you gonna
do about it, guys?
133
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Didn't you see that
he had a big fucking shotgun?
134
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We're gonna hire a security guard
for our next gig.
135
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Holy shit, Grzesiek, don't you fucking
tell me that you really want to ask
136
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He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to help us out.
137
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The Defibrillator!
138
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That's him.
139
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Hold on, don't get any closer
140
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or we will surprise him
and he might accidentally tase us.
141
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Let's talk from here.
Hey there, big man! Long time no see!
142
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-He doesn't know you mean him.
-Goddamn it!
143
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We are standing in an open field.
144
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Never mind. So here goes nothing.
145
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Hey there, Defibrillator!
146
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Holy shit, did you just see that?
Hey, Grzes, what's up?
147
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Nothing, just got
some business to discuss.
148
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-How much do you make here?
-Let's just say I cannot complain.
149
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Though I don't have any reason
to be pleased either,
150
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but hey, I mean,
a job is a job, am I right?
151
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-These are llamas, right?
-Careful, they spit.
152
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What if you used an electric fence,
wouldn't that be a better idea?
153
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Hey, what's your deal here, man?
154
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This land's perimeter
is two and a half thousand meters.
155
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And the wire costs 80 grosz per meter.
156
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So you do the math of how much
that would fucking cost.
157
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A fortune!
And it uses so much electricity!
158
00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:55,834
And that is why the owner of the land
hired me to keep watch.
159
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Because I'm cheaper
and almost as effective--
160
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Where the fuck are you going,
you stupid animal?
161
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,543
He was too fast.
Oh well, he won't eat all of it.
162
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Out of curiosity, what is the job offer?
163
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,709
We need a security guard at our concerts.
164
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Well, it does sound like
the perfect job for me,
165
00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:14,376
but unfortunately,
166
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I gave the owner my word that
I would watch over these llamas.
167
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:20,543
And the Defibrillator's word…
168
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,709
Oh, pardon. The word of Defib-mm-mm-mm…
169
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…is worth far more than money.
Out of curiosity, how much is the pay?
170
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:30,834
Well, there is a catch with that.
171
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,834
There is no pay,
172
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however, there is a lot of free beer for
the band and its crew at all the gigs.
173
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Beer isn't alcohol.
174
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And vodka.
175
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Not many people.
176
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They will come
when we start playing. Hit it.
177
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Uh-oh!
178
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And now, boys,
you can say goodbye to your fucking--
179
00:09:55,376 --> 00:09:57,001
Domino, what the hell's with the checkers?
180
00:09:57,084 --> 00:10:00,084
Relax, boss, I'm good at checkers.
They don't stand a fucking chance.
181
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I'm all out of ammunition.
182
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There's no athletic shoes allowed
in the venue!
183
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My body is as hard as a teenager's dick.
184
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Give me that!
185
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Hey, boss, I guess this is goodbye.
186
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Oh crap!
187
00:10:31,043 --> 00:10:34,793
Oh no. That's enough of that.
Sit down and fight me!
188
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Which one do you pick? I choose white.
189
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Did you see that?
Stomped on him like in shit!
190
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,251
Ha! Stomped on him
like stomping on shit. Good one!
191
00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:54,918
Uh, what happened?
192
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:57,709
Look, this moron sprayed
insect killer inside
193
00:10:57,793 --> 00:10:59,876
before any of us managed
to put on our masks on.
194
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,334
What? Are you kidding me?
195
00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:03,418
All of those concerts
were just in our dreams?
196
00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:06,209
And we didn't defeat
that asshole exorcist, Boner, at all?
197
00:11:06,293 --> 00:11:07,918
Ahh, that's so lame though!
198
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,126
Wait, I have an idea.
199
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,959
Oh, shit! Kamil, put the spray down
or I'm gonna kick your ass…
200
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,043
THE END