1 00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:12,376 A NETFLIX SERIES 2 00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:19,834 Hey, boss, I guess this is goodbye. 3 00:00:20,668 --> 00:00:22,709 Oh crap! 4 00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:24,959 A FEW DAYS EARLIER… 5 00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:26,959 HELL-BOIL SINNER COOKING BOILER REPAIRS 6 00:00:30,293 --> 00:00:33,209 Damn it. Kamil! Kamil! Kamilek, can you hear me? 7 00:00:33,293 --> 00:00:35,626 Ah shit, you moron, you killed him. Kamil! 8 00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:38,668 Yeah right, I killed him. I sprayed it in his mouth just for fun. 9 00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:43,043 This is a bug poison, you fucking idiot! What do you think we need these masks for? 10 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:43,959 He's dead. 11 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:47,543 Shit, why did I get you this damn job? I can't believe I even vouched for you! 12 00:00:47,626 --> 00:00:49,626 If I get fired, I'll knock your teeth out. 13 00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:51,834 Hold on. I've got an idea. 14 00:00:55,376 --> 00:00:58,293 DISINFECTION DERATIZATION 15 00:00:58,376 --> 00:00:59,876 DELICIOUS VODKA GARWOLIN 16 00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:07,834 Hey, give me a sip. 17 00:01:07,918 --> 00:01:09,543 Ah! 18 00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:12,709 Er, uh, where am I? Uh, we were just playing at a concert. 19 00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:16,209 What concert? You were just having a dream while you were laying there unconscious. 20 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:19,168 No! That's a damn shame! 'Cause it was fucking awesome! 21 00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:21,418 The club was sold out, the place was jam-full, 22 00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:23,084 we were rocking so hard on the stage 23 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:26,168 and best of all, all the chicks in the front row had their huge tits out. 24 00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:28,626 Eh, it'd be really nice to play gigs again, right? 25 00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:30,459 Damn sure! Right? 26 00:01:30,543 --> 00:01:32,543 But no one's a fan of metal in hell. 27 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,376 Only satanic folk music. 28 00:01:34,459 --> 00:01:38,126 Fuck it, let's play for humans. A complete concert tour around the world. 29 00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:41,626 Are you crazy? Don't you remember how that shit ended last time around? 30 00:01:41,709 --> 00:01:43,001 Whatever, we'll be careful. 31 00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:45,126 First of all, to make sure there aren't any screw-ups, 32 00:01:45,209 --> 00:01:47,418 one of us has to be sure to always stay sober-ish. 33 00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:48,543 We'll choose who at random. 34 00:01:48,626 --> 00:01:51,626 Fuck, knowing my kinda bad luck, it'll naturally be me every time. 35 00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:54,626 Surely a few beers to cheer me up should be okay? 36 00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:58,376 Come on now, beer's not alcohol. Of course it's okay. Cheers! 37 00:01:58,459 --> 00:01:59,543 Ah! 38 00:01:59,626 --> 00:02:00,793 Hey! Give me some of that! 39 00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:03,001 Oh, but guys, I already sold the drumkit I stole. 40 00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:06,043 So what's the fucking problem? Just steal a third drum set. 41 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,543 Hey, come on, let us in. 42 00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:11,209 We've got money for the tickets. We have the exact amount. 43 00:02:11,293 --> 00:02:13,626 There's no room. The show is completely sold out. 44 00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:16,751 Fucking A! Ajronwejder play! 45 00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:19,876 Fucking A! Ajronwejder play! 46 00:02:19,959 --> 00:02:20,793 DRESSING ROOM 47 00:02:20,876 --> 00:02:23,626 Defekator, finish your beer and get out on stage. Can't you hear them? 48 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:26,918 -And you weren't supposed to drink! -Jesus, I'm not really drinking. 49 00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:28,209 It's just a beer. 50 00:02:29,543 --> 00:02:32,376 Fucking A! Ajronwejder play 51 00:02:35,501 --> 00:02:38,751 Those devil costumes are awesome. Damn, they look fucking real. 52 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:39,876 Eh, they're all right. 53 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:42,293 They could be scarier and more intimidating while on stage 54 00:02:42,376 --> 00:02:44,376 like Lady Gaga when she was in her meat dress. 55 00:03:06,376 --> 00:03:08,293 What a racket! Fucking awesome! 56 00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:10,043 Yeah, it's a kick-ass song! 57 00:03:10,126 --> 00:03:13,293 I meant it's really fucking loud in here. And the song is average. 58 00:03:13,376 --> 00:03:16,459 -So it's fucking great? Yeah! -Of course it's great. Fucking fire! 59 00:03:52,418 --> 00:03:55,876 That's right! The next song will start soon, but first… 60 00:03:56,376 --> 00:03:57,209 Cheers! 61 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,793 Grześ, what the hell? One of us was supposed to be sober. 62 00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,043 Beer isn't alcohol. 63 00:04:04,126 --> 00:04:05,584 Ah! 64 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:07,709 Yee-haw! 65 00:04:07,793 --> 00:04:09,293 I guess we're all done playing now. 66 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:11,168 Follow me to the bar! 67 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,459 Storm it like you storm the hairdressers before the lockdown. 68 00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:15,459 Oh crap! 69 00:04:15,543 --> 00:04:17,376 Grzes, you weren't supposed to drink! 70 00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:19,293 Don't worry, it's just some beer. 71 00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:20,918 BEER 72 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:24,709 Follow me! Let's go to town! 73 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,126 Shit, it's gonna get messy again, isn't it? 74 00:04:30,209 --> 00:04:34,376 Well, whatever shit happens it's on Grzes. He wasn't supposed to drink. 75 00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:35,834 Ah! 76 00:04:35,918 --> 00:04:37,334 Yee-haw! 77 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:42,126 See how badly you taped over, you moron? 78 00:04:42,209 --> 00:04:44,126 Now the entire baseboard's covered in paint. 79 00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:46,709 I did it right. That's how you professionally tape over. 80 00:04:46,793 --> 00:04:49,043 You should've been more careful painting near the tape 81 00:04:49,126 --> 00:04:51,834 instead of speeding through it like drunk racehorse with blinders on. 82 00:04:51,918 --> 00:04:55,709 And also, we should've covered the floor in drop cloths before we even started. 83 00:04:55,793 --> 00:04:57,793 What the hell for? Domino is much cheaper. 84 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:02,001 -Oh yeah, actually, speaking of money… -Quiet, Marcinek. 85 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,209 Domino, turn that up. 86 00:05:04,084 --> 00:05:07,293 Concert goers of the heavy metal group Ajronwejder 87 00:05:07,376 --> 00:05:10,459 first completely demolished the pub, where the event was being held 88 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:13,834 and then proceeded to storm into one of the nearby go-go clubs 89 00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,584 where they became very violent. 90 00:05:15,668 --> 00:05:17,584 Luckily, the fans were only fighting each other 91 00:05:17,668 --> 00:05:20,876 so no bystanders or witnesses were injured during this rampage. 92 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,168 However, two ambulances, that were called to the scene of the brawl, were damaged. 93 00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:26,126 Here, we have some footage from outside the club. 94 00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:37,001 Let us all hope that the band's next concert is a much calmer affair. 95 00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:41,043 These musicians dressed as demons will perform tonight at the Lavatory club. 96 00:05:41,126 --> 00:05:43,168 Those assholes are the idiot shitbag's 97 00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,626 that got me punched in the face a while back. 98 00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:48,668 And they're not dressing up. They are actual demons. 99 00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:50,168 Uh, hey, boss? 100 00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,834 Now the line has definitely been crossed. 101 00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:55,376 Okay, let's do this quick and sloppy and go. 102 00:05:55,459 --> 00:05:58,376 We are all going to a demon concert. 103 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:00,709 LAVATORY 104 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,126 How long should we wait? 105 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:05,293 For fuck's sake! How long should we wait? 106 00:06:05,376 --> 00:06:07,959 For fuck's sake! How long should we wait? 107 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:11,209 This is so cool! There's twice as many people tonight. 108 00:06:11,293 --> 00:06:13,626 That's great. That means there'll be twice as much booze. 109 00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:16,043 You know my idea was so fucking magnificent, no? 110 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,709 You know it! Right, man? 111 00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:19,959 Hey, what is this garbage? 112 00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:21,209 Non-alcoholic? 113 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,459 You keep telling yourself that beer's not alcohol. 114 00:06:23,543 --> 00:06:25,876 But non-alcoholic beer is not beer. 115 00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:28,876 We'll ask for normal ones later. Now we have to play. 116 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,626 No, we aren't gonna ask. We will demand it. 117 00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:33,543 And we're gonna make some changes. 118 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:37,376 Whoever draws sober twice in a row gets to drink the third time around. 119 00:06:46,543 --> 00:06:48,793 Hey, why are we unplugged? 120 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,126 Shit, I don't know any acoustic chords. 121 00:06:51,209 --> 00:06:53,209 Give us our ticket money back! 122 00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:55,293 Exactly! Zero zloty! 123 00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:57,834 Told you we should have invested in hiring a sound guy. 124 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,876 At your service. 125 00:07:00,209 --> 00:07:03,918 Put your hands up! Or in case I wasn't clear, put your fucking hands up! 126 00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,959 Oh shit, it's that lunatic again. Run! 127 00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:12,043 Marcinek, the exit! 128 00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:15,376 All set! 129 00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:23,626 Uh-oh, they took the van. 130 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,626 Oh, they will pay for that. 131 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,168 They will pay for that. 132 00:07:27,251 --> 00:07:29,001 Heh, so what are you gonna do about it, guys? 133 00:07:29,084 --> 00:07:30,959 Didn't you see that he had a big fucking shotgun? 134 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:34,209 We're gonna hire a security guard for our next gig. 135 00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:37,584 Holy shit, Grzesiek, don't you fucking tell me that you really want to ask 136 00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:40,418 He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to help us out. 137 00:07:43,084 --> 00:07:44,959 The Defibrillator! 138 00:07:54,376 --> 00:07:55,376 That's him. 139 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:58,668 Hold on, don't get any closer 140 00:07:58,751 --> 00:08:01,251 or we will surprise him and he might accidentally tase us. 141 00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,793 Let's talk from here. Hey there, big man! Long time no see! 142 00:08:08,043 --> 00:08:10,376 -He doesn't know you mean him. -Goddamn it! 143 00:08:10,459 --> 00:08:12,459 We are standing in an open field. 144 00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:14,751 Never mind. So here goes nothing. 145 00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:16,876 Hey there, Defibrillator! 146 00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:22,459 Holy shit, did you just see that? Hey, Grzes, what's up? 147 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,709 Nothing, just got some business to discuss. 148 00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:28,376 -How much do you make here? -Let's just say I cannot complain. 149 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:30,793 Though I don't have any reason to be pleased either, 150 00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:34,626 but hey, I mean, a job is a job, am I right? 151 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:36,543 -These are llamas, right? -Careful, they spit. 152 00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:39,293 What if you used an electric fence, wouldn't that be a better idea? 153 00:08:39,376 --> 00:08:41,459 Hey, what's your deal here, man? 154 00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:44,584 This land's perimeter is two and a half thousand meters. 155 00:08:44,668 --> 00:08:47,084 And the wire costs 80 grosz per meter. 156 00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:49,876 So you do the math of how much that would fucking cost. 157 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,793 A fortune! And it uses so much electricity! 158 00:08:52,876 --> 00:08:55,834 And that is why the owner of the land hired me to keep watch. 159 00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:58,126 Because I'm cheaper and almost as effective-- 160 00:08:58,209 --> 00:09:00,501 Where the fuck are you going, you stupid animal? 161 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,543 He was too fast. Oh well, he won't eat all of it. 162 00:09:06,626 --> 00:09:08,626 Out of curiosity, what is the job offer? 163 00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:10,709 We need a security guard at our concerts. 164 00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:13,126 Well, it does sound like the perfect job for me, 165 00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:14,376 but unfortunately, 166 00:09:14,459 --> 00:09:17,751 I gave the owner my word that I would watch over these llamas. 167 00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:20,543 And the Defibrillator's word… 168 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,709 Oh, pardon. The word of Defib-mm-mm-mm… 169 00:09:25,709 --> 00:09:29,293 …is worth far more than money. Out of curiosity, how much is the pay? 170 00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:30,834 Well, there is a catch with that. 171 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,834 There is no pay, 172 00:09:31,918 --> 00:09:35,709 however, there is a lot of free beer for the band and its crew at all the gigs. 173 00:09:35,793 --> 00:09:37,126 Beer isn't alcohol. 174 00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,209 And vodka. 175 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,668 Not many people. 176 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,959 They will come when we start playing. Hit it. 177 00:09:51,209 --> 00:09:52,376 Uh-oh! 178 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,293 And now, boys, you can say goodbye to your fucking-- 179 00:09:55,376 --> 00:09:57,001 Domino, what the hell's with the checkers? 180 00:09:57,084 --> 00:10:00,084 Relax, boss, I'm good at checkers. They don't stand a fucking chance. 181 00:10:04,626 --> 00:10:07,293 I'm all out of ammunition. 182 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,709 There's no athletic shoes allowed in the venue! 183 00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:21,709 My body is as hard as a teenager's dick. 184 00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:23,334 Give me that! 185 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,043 Hey, boss, I guess this is goodbye. 186 00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:30,959 Oh crap! 187 00:10:31,043 --> 00:10:34,793 Oh no. That's enough of that. Sit down and fight me! 188 00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:36,793 Which one do you pick? I choose white. 189 00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:40,626 Did you see that? Stomped on him like in shit! 190 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,251 Ha! Stomped on him like stomping on shit. Good one! 191 00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:54,918 Uh, what happened? 192 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:57,709 Look, this moron sprayed insect killer inside 193 00:10:57,793 --> 00:10:59,876 before any of us managed to put on our masks on. 194 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,334 What? Are you kidding me? 195 00:11:01,418 --> 00:11:03,418 All of those concerts were just in our dreams? 196 00:11:03,501 --> 00:11:06,209 And we didn't defeat that asshole exorcist, Boner, at all? 197 00:11:06,293 --> 00:11:07,918 Ahh, that's so lame though! 198 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,126 Wait, I have an idea. 199 00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,959 Oh, shit! Kamil, put the spray down or I'm gonna kick your ass… 200 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,043 THE END