NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
He lived the life he could afford...
...and since he wasn't able to afford much, he had to borrow.
His life came to an end in a borrowed Opel...
That was a brand new car.
Only 15 years old, and made in December.
So kind of like 14 years old.
Who will give me my money back?
Although he was driving only a little bit over the speed limit,
the car squeezed into a sanitation truck like a thong inside the a--
I meant inside the black hole.
Come on! I find this offensive!
This is how you end up when your brakes are air locked
and your car inspection sticker is fake.
Even if I did bribe the guy, so what?
Only a loser would fix stuff if the car's still running.
May you rest in peace, our brother Andrew!
In the name of the Father, the Son and so on... Good bye.
Boss, what about my--
Silence! I'm feeding myself!
Forgive me boss for speaking, but when will I be allowed to eat?
Muddy, am I your servant or are you mine?
Haven't you learned yet? You eat when I'm done eating.
Take it easy. The widow is arriving any minute,
and when she's mourning her husband, I will be feasting.
Though how long is this wake going to take? Wait. Finally!
What's this guy doing here? Look at that slutty bitch!
Her husband's body is not even cold yet, and she's with another dude.
Whatever.
Come on, man? Are you kidding me? She's not sorry for this one either?
Too bad then.
Shoot the crossbow like a slingshot!
We're outta here! I've got a plan. Go!
Hold on, boss. You're not an angel... anymore.
MINI LAS VEGAS CAFE
Envy causes the greatest suffering.
And the strongest envy known to mankind is the envy of neighbors.
It only takes a little help to be granted to one of the parties,
to make the envy even more powerful.
Whoosh!
Oh shit...
Where did you get those pretty wheels from?
One's making money, one can afford!
If I see any one of those shitheads enter my property,
I swear I will shoot every single one!
He's a thief!
What a piece of shit.
Damn Judas...
He got that car out of spite...
It made my heart hurt...
And of course he had to buy a diesel model...
Purr!
This is what I call a feast.
I'm a genius.
Muddy, I'm about to take a shit.
He's hiding it in the garage, smart ass.
I'm not going for it.
Bon appetit.
Well, I think I'm actually done. Hurry up! We're leaving.
We'll be back tomorrow. And hop--
Let me teach you a lesson, motherfucker.
You'll see that Seat of yours come out of your ass.
I hope it was at least damaged. I mean it must've been damaged.
Obviously, it's a used car.
Hopefully it will break into pieces the minute you drive out of the gate.
And to make sure I'm gonna scatter some sharp nails over there, just in case.
Stefan! Get up, quickly!
I've just had the most beautiful dream.
Not only did Wiechlina smash his car into a tree,
but they also took his license for driving while drunk.
Wipe that smirk off your face. Look.
They're doing a renovation and installing a satellite dish on the roof, too.
Don't tell me they've also bought a new TV set...
Oh my dear Lord Jesus, Halinka...
Mister, I don't want this clown to fall from the roof!
That'd be a tiny loss.
I'm not worrying about him but about the antenna.
You heard that, Domino?
If you break that dish I swear you'll never get paid again!
And you'll have to pay for the damage!
Easy, boss. I'm not gonna break it.
Besides, how would I pay if I don't have any money?
Now, a zip-tie instead of a screw...
One will do it.
And instead of an antenna cable, since we've got to save on supplies,
we're gonna use a regular cable...
What's going on up there?
-Jesus... -Come on! Jesus?
-I thought it was the antenna falling. -It's ready. You can tune in the channels.
At last! Grażynka, turn the TV on!
Things are not good, boss.
You're right. Things aren't good. They're fucking awesome!
Sweet Jesus, Muddy.
I've had so much food... Like auntie Christy at a wedding.
So, perhaps we can leave now?
Wait a minute. It's gotta settle in a bit.
Holy moly!
Don't move, motherfuckers!
Or my noisy friend here is gonna shit lead all over you!
You silly little man!
We, the grim slurpalphases, are immortal!
That toy of yours can only kill my servant!
Thanks, boss...
Boss, I need to confess something to you before I die...
Actually I never fed myself your feces...
I would secretly burry them and then order pizza...
But always with seafood toppings which are like the worst shit.
Good bye...
You son of a bitch!
Forgive me, but my neighbor promised to pay me good money
if I make sure good things stop happening to Wiechlina.
I'm not talking to you.
Where did you get the money for pizza from, you son of a bitch?
The mother fucker made a hole in my head!
What will I look like from now on?
Magic!
Off you go!
Fire!
Ha ha! And what about now?
Oh no, not the lasso.
Let go, I can't do the magic!
Domino, now!
LAWN MOWING CHEAP PRICES
Fucking shitheads.
I'd actually be happy. It's supposed to bring good luck.
I doubt it.
What I'm about to do is the exact opposite of happiness.
What now, boss? How will we kill him if he's immortal?
He can't be killed with a shovel or even with a machine gun.
He's getting his power from human misfortune,
but he will die if you cut off his food.
Ha ha, you fools!
I'm not sure you noticed, but I've been feeding myself so much
it'll be enough for a few hundred years!
Chill out, fatso!
We're going to apply an accelerated weight loss diet.
Marcinek, hold this!
Your overdue salary.
What? But... damn it... thank you!
Hey, what are you up to?
Boss, it's too much. Three hundred over.
It's the right amount.
-You've just got a raise! -Oh man, really?
Thank you!
You sneaky bastard!
I get it now!
The grim slurpalphas is loosing force when someone's happy!
-He'll be gone in a few minutes. -Wait...
The kid is just pretending. He's not happy at all! I'm fine!
What? You're not happy?
Boss, I've never been happier in my life!
Marcinek's happy, but for you boss, giving up so much money
is like a confirmation for Antichristosaur.
-You cancel each other out. -The dumb ass is right.
OK, Marcinek, lend me a hundred for booze
and stay here all happy. It should be over by the morning.
What? No! Come back here! Do you hear me?
Come back! Fuck, he's gone!
OK kid, listen... Why are you so happy, moron?
You get your salary every month, don't you?
I don't... I don't.
Fucking shit...
THE END