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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
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He lived as well
as he could afford…
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THE GRIM SLURPER
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…and since he wasn't able to afford much,
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he lived in debt
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and his life came
to a sad and pathetic end
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in a borrowed Honda…
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That was a brand-new Accord!
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Made only 15 years ago and in December,
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so kind of like 14 years ago.
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Who's gonna give me my money back?
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Although he was only driving a little bit
over the posted speed limit,
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the car was tightly wedged into
a garbage truck like a lacy thong in a…
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…in the place
where the devil says goodnight.
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Whoa, that's really offensive!
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But I guess that's what happens when your
automobile brakes are old and air-locked
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and you bribe your way
out of an overdue technical inspection.
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I may have offered a bribe,
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but only an idiot fixes a car
that still runs.
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Andrzej, may you rest in peace!
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In the name of the Father,
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and the Son
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and all the rest.
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Goodbye.
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Hey, boss, when will I get to…
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Be quiet! I'm trying to feed.
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Hey, boss.
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I'm sorry to speak so boldly,
but when will I be able to eat?
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Hey, Mud, am I your servant or you mine?
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Haven't you learned yet?
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You get to eat after I eat.
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Don't worry, the widow will come soon
and as she's weeping for her husband,
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I shall feast! I shall feast, I say!
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But how long can she stay
at that goddamn wake?
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Wait.
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Well, there she is finally!
37
00:01:54,543 --> 00:01:55,876
What's this guy doing here?
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Would you look at that slutty old bitch!
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Her husband's body isn't even cold yet
and she's already brought another man!
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Whatever.
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What the hell?
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Shit, don't tell me
she doesn't care about this one either.
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Okay, then.
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Pew! One and done!
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All right, let's get out of here!
I just thought of a very good plan.
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Boss, wait, you're not an angel any--
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…more.
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MINI LAS VEGAS
CAFE 24H
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Envy causes great suffering, Mud.
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And the greatest envy of all,
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is the intense envy that
mankind inevitably has of his neighbors.
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And all that is required
to make it really fester,
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is to go out and give that neighbor
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a little bit of a helping hand
so we can get the ball out and rolling.
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Oh, goddamn it.
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00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:17,543
Hey, Wiechlina,
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where did you get that new car, huh?
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I earned it fair and square.
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00:03:22,626 --> 00:03:27,001
And make sure I don't see any of those
shitting birds flying over my property,
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or they're definitely gonna meet my gun.
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He's a thief.
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That little piece of shit.
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That slimy cunning Judas.
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He got that car just to spite me.
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I can feel it in my heart.
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And it doesn't even run on gas.
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It's diesel!
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That's what I call a proper feast!
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My genius truly knows no bound.
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Mud!
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I'm going to take a magnificent shit.
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Hid it in the garage,
the little weasel.
73
00:04:05,084 --> 00:04:07,626
But that won't help him one bit.
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Bon appetit.
75
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Actually, I'm completely satiated.
Mud, hurry up, we've gotta go.
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00:04:16,626 --> 00:04:18,543
We'll come back and feast tomorrow. Hop!
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Let me teach you a lesson,
you son of a bitch.
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You can shove that car up your ass.
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I hope at least the body
had to be repaired.
80
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I mean, it must've been.
It's from a used car lot.
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Hopefully, it was repaired so badly
82
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that it'll fall apart
the minute you drive through the gate,
83
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:37,084
and to make sure, I'm gonna scatter
some sharp nails over there tomorrow.
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00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:39,084
THIEF, FRAUD! GET OUT!
SHOVE THAT SEAT UP YOUR ASS
85
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:45,959
Stefan! Stefan, get up, quickly!
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I was having such a nice beautiful dream!
87
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Not only did Wiechlina's new car
slam into a tree,
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they also suspended his license
for three months for drunk driving.
89
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Well, this'll wipe the smile
off your face. Over there.
90
00:05:01,376 --> 00:05:02,626
Err…
91
00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:04,834
Not only are they renovating
the entire house,
92
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it looks like they're
having a satellite dish installed
93
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up there on the roof!
94
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Don't tell me they went
and got themselves a TV.
95
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TV HD HWDP
WIDESCREEN 75 INCHES
96
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Oh Jesus!
97
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:17,959
Halinka…
98
00:05:18,043 --> 00:05:20,959
Mister, I don't want this circus clown
to fall off the roof!
99
00:05:21,043 --> 00:05:22,543
Eh, not much of a loss.
100
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:25,126
No, if he slips and falls off,
he could break the antenna.
101
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Domino, you hear that?
102
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If you break that dish
you'll never get paid again
103
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and you'll have to pay
for the damage on your own.
104
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It comes right out of your pocket!
105
00:05:32,793 --> 00:05:36,293
Okay, okay, fine, boss, take it easy.
I won't break it.
106
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:38,959
And how would I pay for it
with no money to my name?
107
00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:42,168
Now, a zip-tie instead of a screw…
108
00:05:42,251 --> 00:05:43,168
There.
109
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One should do it.
110
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And instead of an antenna cable,
to save on expensive materials,
111
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we're gonna use a regular cable.
112
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Hold on. What's going on over there?
113
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Oh, Jesus.
114
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No– Jesus.
115
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I thought it was the antenna that fell.
116
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It's all in place.
You can flip through the channels.
117
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Well, finally.
118
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Grażynka! Go turn on the TV!
119
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Hey, boss, it's not good.
120
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You're goddamn right.
121
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It's really not good at all.
122
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No, it's abso-fucking awesome.
123
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Oh, Jesus.
124
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Oh wow, Mud…
125
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I'm totally stuffed!
126
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Like a drunk auntie
at a wedding reception.
127
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So maybe we can go then?
128
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Hang on a minute…
129
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It just needs to settle a bit.
130
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Whoa, mama.
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Don't move, motherfuckers!
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Or my noisy
barreled little friend I got here
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will pump you two undead goons
full of red hot lead, got it?
134
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You stupid and ignorant mortal!
135
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Grim Slurpers like me are invincible!
136
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At absolute worst, that little toy
of yours could only kill my servant!
137
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Thank you very much, boss.
138
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Hey boss, before I die, I…
139
00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:21,876
I have to admit something to you…
140
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I wasn't actually feeding
on your excrement.
141
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I would bury it, and then I'd sneak away
and go order a pizza.
142
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But don't you worry.
143
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It was a seafood pizza,
144
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so even worse than shit.
145
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Farewell.
146
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Ah, you son of a bitch, how dare you!
147
00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:42,209
Sorry, but I made a deal with the neighbor
and he's gonna pay me a lot of money
148
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if Wiechlina's luck starts to run dry.
149
00:07:44,626 --> 00:07:46,001
I'm not talking to you.
150
00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:49,876
You son of a bitch,
where did you get the money to buy pizza?
151
00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:56,043
And he's made a nasty hole in my head,
the fucker!
152
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What's that going to do to my look?
153
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Magic!
154
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Go fly!
155
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:14,793
Fire away!
156
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:20,834
And finally, now…
157
00:08:22,959 --> 00:08:25,168
Oh no, please no, not the lasso!
158
00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:27,126
Let me go. I can't do any magic!
159
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,293
Domino, step on it!
160
00:08:41,959 --> 00:08:43,793
Stupid fucking shitting birds!
161
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I'd be glad if I were you.
162
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They say that it brings good luck.
163
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I doubt it.
164
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Because what I'm about to do,
my fine friend,
165
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is just about as far as you can get
from good luck.
166
00:08:56,126 --> 00:08:59,293
What now, boss? How are we
supposed to kill him if he's immortal?
167
00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,459
He can't be killed
with a shovel, knife,
168
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:03,001
or even with a machine gun.
169
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,334
Instead, he's getting his power
from all human misfortune.
170
00:09:06,418 --> 00:09:09,043
But he will die if you cut off his feed.
171
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:11,251
You idiots!
172
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:13,251
I don't know if any of you noticed,
173
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,209
but I got so fat off this feed,
174
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:18,043
that I can easily last
a couple hundred years!
175
00:09:18,126 --> 00:09:20,043
Not to worry, my fat fiendish friend.
176
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,251
We're going to give you an accelerated
treatment for weight loss.
177
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Marcinek, here you go!
178
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:25,793
Err…
179
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Your overdue salary.
180
00:09:27,209 --> 00:09:29,418
What? But…
181
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:31,043
Oh crap, thank you so much!
182
00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:33,126
Hey, just what are you trying to pull?
183
00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:36,043
But, boss, you've given me 300 too much.
184
00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:37,418
No, that's correct.
185
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You've just been given a raise!
You hear that?
186
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Oh, boss, do you mean it?
187
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Ha, I…
188
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You sneaky little bastard,
I see what you're trying to do!
189
00:09:46,459 --> 00:09:47,918
Oh, I get it now!
190
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:51,209
Grim Slurpers start to lose their power
when people are really happy!
191
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:52,876
In a few minutes, he'll be done for.
192
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Hold on.
193
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:57,334
The little shit's not happy at all.
He's pretending.
194
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I'm going to be fine!
195
00:09:58,876 --> 00:10:00,543
What? You're not happy yet?
196
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:03,459
-Boss, I've never been happier in my life!
-Got it!
197
00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:05,876
Marcin is happy, but the boss is
as upset about the money
198
00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:08,084
as an Antichristosaurus
during a confirmation,
199
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:09,209
so it all cancels out!
200
00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:11,501
The idiot-moron is right.
201
00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:13,626
Fine then. Marcinek, loan me a hundred.
202
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:16,376
I'm going for a drink,
and you stay here and be happy.
203
00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:18,793
This should all be over before dawn.
204
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:20,709
What?
205
00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,418
No! Come back!
206
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:24,084
You hear me? Come back!
207
00:10:24,168 --> 00:10:26,293
Fuck, there he goes.
All right, junior, listen.
208
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:30,626
What the fuck are you so happy about,
you moron? You get paid every month.
209
00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:31,793
No, I do not.
210
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:33,959
No, I do not.
211
00:10:34,043 --> 00:10:35,793
Eh, fucking shitballs.
212
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:50,626
THE END