1
00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:12,376
NETFLIX 影集

2
00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,126
劇名：墮落天使

3
00:00:19,209 --> 00:00:23,209
亞雷克…

4
00:00:23,293 --> 00:00:25,959
你快住手，車子要壞掉了！

5
00:00:26,043 --> 00:00:28,084
-什麼？
-停止發動引擎！

6
00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:31,168
你會弄壞啟動器跟電頻！

7
00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:33,626
這樣別說釣魚，我們哪都去不了！

8
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,959
才怪，你對車子的了解

9
00:00:36,043 --> 00:00:38,293
應該跟我的常識一樣空泛

10
00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:44,959
你看吧？

11
00:00:46,084 --> 00:00:48,293
-現在該怎麼辦？
-我們只能推車啟動

12
00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:50,459
-什麼？
-你給我下車，一起來推

13
00:00:51,043 --> 00:00:53,126
發動了嗎？打到N檔了嗎？

14
00:00:53,209 --> 00:00:56,209
有啦，馬切克你別再指使我做事

15
00:00:56,293 --> 00:00:58,459
我才是有駕照的人

16
00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:00,709
我的駕照只不過被吊銷三個月

17
00:01:00,793 --> 00:01:03,043
不代表我不懂怎麼發動車子

18
00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:06,751
而且警察根本執法不當
酒測值0.12%根本不算什麼

19
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,709
我敢說你現在絕對超過

20
00:01:08,793 --> 00:01:10,751
只要沒被酒測，我的數值就是零

21
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:11,959
你到底要不要推車？

22
00:01:12,043 --> 00:01:13,043
不，我才不想推

23
00:01:13,126 --> 00:01:15,126
一、二、三！

24
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,126
打二檔！

25
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,793
亞雷克來幫我！

26
00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:35,668
天啊，你居然跌倒了？

27
00:01:35,751 --> 00:01:36,876
我才沒有

28
00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:39,543
警察大人，我可以解釋

29
00:01:39,626 --> 00:01:42,876
天堂裡可沒有墮落天使的位置

30
00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:45,543
斯特凡，用打回原形槍！

31
00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:47,626
（打回原形槍，濟維喜2000）

32
00:01:50,668 --> 00:01:52,209
送他去地獄

33
00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:56,459
好了，我們走吧

34
00:01:56,543 --> 00:01:57,751
-斯特凡，等等
-幹嘛？

35
00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:00,626
誰該去草地上開違停罰單？

36
00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:03,793
可惡

37
00:02:07,793 --> 00:02:10,959
什麼？我的行動數據快超標了？

38
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,709
我也有相同煩惱

39
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:15,376
才上幾次大號，數據就快用完了

40
00:02:15,459 --> 00:02:17,668
還有看高畫質A片的時候

41
00:02:17,751 --> 00:02:19,709
可能一部就用完了

42
00:02:19,793 --> 00:02:21,751
等等，你為何也有這種煩惱？

43
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,209
你根本沒有手機啊！

44
00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:24,959
所以我才用你的

45
00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:27,876
天啊！我受夠了，我要立刻改密碼

46
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:30,126
你換吧，我總有辦法偷看

47
00:02:30,209 --> 00:02:32,876
老大，我可以用公司電腦上網嗎？

48
00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:34,584
-不行！
-拜託！

49
00:02:34,668 --> 00:02:37,543
對了，我想跟你討論一下薪水

50
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:41,876
好吧，你可以上網
但別再用到中毒了

51
00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,251
為什麼說是我用到中毒？

52
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:46,126
我只會上論壇當酸民

53
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,168
舉例來說

54
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,251
純素論壇，這看起來不錯

55
00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:52,126
建立一個新帖子

56
00:02:52,209 --> 00:02:53,251
遊戲開始

57
00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:56,584
“各位週五會禁食嗎？”

58
00:02:56,668 --> 00:02:57,584
發佈

59
00:02:57,668 --> 00:02:59,543
注意，風暴即將展開

60
00:02:59,626 --> 00:03:01,668
三、二、一

61
00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:03,793
開始了

62
00:03:04,543 --> 00:03:05,376
回覆

63
00:03:05,876 --> 00:03:08,209
“如果你們這麼討厭肉

64
00:03:08,293 --> 00:03:13,543
為什麼還要吃模仿漢堡

65
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:15,001
跟排骨口味的

66
00:03:15,084 --> 00:03:16,043
產品？”

67
00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:17,376
送出

68
00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:23,418
致親愛的日記

69
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,501
我正在寫信給你

70
00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:28,334
因為已經超過11點

71
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:31,626
牛群終於睡著了

72
00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:33,626
沒錯

73
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,543
我是位牧羊人

74
00:03:35,626 --> 00:03:38,043
很多人都說：“這個職業超酷！

75
00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:39,501
工作不分貴賤

76
00:03:39,584 --> 00:03:42,751
別抱怨，臭味習慣了就好

77
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:45,793
你可以當網紅，那才是財富密碼”

78
00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:49,459
但他們不清楚，動物很易怒

79
00:03:49,543 --> 00:03:52,959
這些傢伙會無緣無故吐口水

80
00:03:53,043 --> 00:03:57,376
我必須非常謹慎，才能不吵醒牠們

81
00:03:57,459 --> 00:04:00,251
因為牠們吐口水的力道很強

82
00:04:00,334 --> 00:04:02,543
被射到會很痛

83
00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:05,543
我前輩痛失一隻眼睛

84
00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:06,709
長在背後的那個

85
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,876
希望我能比他幸運

86
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,043
糟糕，我該怎麼辦？

87
00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:14,709
我知道了，我可以憋氣

88
00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:33,126
太好了，逃過一劫

89
00:04:33,209 --> 00:04:35,251
幸好只是個無聲屁

90
00:04:35,334 --> 00:04:36,709
回到重點

91
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:38,459
致親愛的日記

92
00:04:38,543 --> 00:04:40,543
我知道你聽過千萬次這種要求

93
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:42,959
但可以借我一點錢嗎？

94
00:04:43,043 --> 00:04:45,001
不用多，4.3元就好

95
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,626
這是地獄裡最廉價紅酒的價格

96
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,459
喂！關我什麼事？

97
00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:03,126
親愛的日記，再見了

98
00:05:04,376 --> 00:05:06,251
好，換個話題

99
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:08,251
驅魔師論壇，就是你了

100
00:05:08,751 --> 00:05:10,668
好吧，看來這裡有別的酸民

101
00:05:10,751 --> 00:05:13,751
不用擔心，我們可以除掉對手

102
00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:16,459
該如何處理網路酸民？

103
00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:18,834
這個嘛，罵他看看？

104
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,584
你瘋了嗎？那就是他們想要的

105
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:23,668
不要理他好了

106
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:24,959
那是菜鳥的應對方式

107
00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:28,459
如果不回，誰會理我們？
他在跟30個人對戰耶

108
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:29,418
我沒有想法

109
00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:33,376
認同他、附和，再幫他按讚

110
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,918
-真的嗎？
-沒錯

111
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,251
就是這樣

112
00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:39,043
“我支持波奇斯克17

113
00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:40,959
惡魔是好人

114
00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:43,626
因為他會懲罰壞人”，送出

115
00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:45,959
天啊，你說得對

116
00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:49,251
“況且，現在不是中古時代

117
00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:51,418
惡魔根本不存在

118
00:05:51,501 --> 00:05:56,043
驅魔師只會騙錢”，送出

119
00:05:56,626 --> 00:06:00,084
“最失敗的例子就是驅魔騙子勃納

120
00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:04,126
他不只騙人、酗酒，還是個大哭包”

121
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,626
“波奇斯克17，你說得很對”

122
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:09,293
我來讓他見識真正的“哭包”

123
00:06:09,376 --> 00:06:10,876
讓開！是誰寫的？

124
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:11,793
這個人

125
00:06:11,876 --> 00:06:15,126
“躲在鍵盤後的人都以為自己很勇敢

126
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,209
有種就跟我正面對決，王八蛋”

127
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,168
優秀的酸民不會那樣罵人

128
00:06:19,251 --> 00:06:21,584
我想揍扁他的臉，才懶得跟他爭論

129
00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:25,293
“哈哈哈，有種我們地獄見”

130
00:06:25,376 --> 00:06:26,293
地獄見？

131
00:06:26,376 --> 00:06:27,876
所以他是某種惡魔

132
00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:29,043
我就知道！

133
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:30,959
“時間地點？”

134
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:35,043
“12點整，在斯托奇克
地獄體育場外見”

135
00:06:35,126 --> 00:06:37,251
“你既然敢說出口

136
00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:39,459
我就實現你的願望”，送出

137
00:06:39,543 --> 00:06:41,626
致親愛的日記

138
00:06:41,709 --> 00:06:42,709
對不起

139
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:45,668
我很抱歉稱呼你為孬種

140
00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,751
但如果沒人在看，就放進口袋吧

141
00:06:47,834 --> 00:06:49,793
別等店員走回來

142
00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:52,168
什麼？這不是重點嗎？

143
00:06:52,251 --> 00:06:53,084
那什麼才是？

144
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:56,543
受不了你！這樣我該用什麼
擦屁股？我的手嗎？

145
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:59,376
別這麼自私，你有好幾百張內頁

146
00:06:59,459 --> 00:07:02,168
少個幾十頁都難以察覺

147
00:07:02,251 --> 00:07:04,043
對，你沒聽錯

148
00:07:04,126 --> 00:07:05,251
我說幾十頁！

149
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:07,626
我已經默默用了一陣子

150
00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:08,959
回到重點

151
00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:11,709
我撐過了牛群的攻擊

152
00:07:11,793 --> 00:07:13,459
但我跟老闆說：“我受夠了！

153
00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:14,501
我要離職！”

154
00:07:14,584 --> 00:07:16,209
我唯一的遺憾是離開那些飼料

155
00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:18,626
我已經餓了好幾十分鐘

156
00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:19,876
但你不用擔心

157
00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:23,209
我有一把牧羊人的斧頭
和一個寫著“我愛地獄”的磁鐵

158
00:07:23,293 --> 00:07:26,126
儘管可能無法將它們兌現

159
00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:29,251
還是讓我們一起出發尋找幸福吧！

160
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:36,959
（斯托奇克地獄體育場）

161
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:41,168
可惡！他是遲到還是膽小鬼？

162
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:42,959
還是他壓根沒打算出現

163
00:07:43,043 --> 00:07:45,126
我又被騙了嗎？

164
00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:50,459
聽著，剛才新聞台報導

165
00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:54,043
有些侵略者正在攻擊
亞斯納戈拉修道院

166
00:07:54,126 --> 00:07:57,626
我立刻跳上車，準備履行公民的義務

167
00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:59,001
過來保護修道院

168
00:07:59,084 --> 00:08:01,168
這是非常嚴重的挑釁

169
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:02,876
但為何這裡一個人都沒有？

170
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,834
沒有人在攻擊亞斯納戈拉修道院

171
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,334
你到底在說什麼鬼話？

172
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:07,626
你好，不好意思

173
00:08:07,709 --> 00:08:09,293
-這位先生
-難道是？

174
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:12,334
你願意購買牧羊人的紀念斧頭嗎？

175
00:08:12,418 --> 00:08:14,043
或是冰箱磁鐵？

176
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,376
波奇斯克17？

177
00:08:15,459 --> 00:08:17,459
-什麼？
-你是波奇斯克17嗎？

178
00:08:17,543 --> 00:08:19,709
不，我是亞雷克，你願意…

179
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:22,084
-你認識這個孬種嗎？
-不，我才剛搬來附近

180
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,626
誰會猜到我不久前還在天堂逍遙

181
00:08:25,709 --> 00:08:28,376
為了回去，我願意拿任何東西交換

182
00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:30,709
-像是什麼？
-我不知道，也許這個斧頭？

183
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,584
幫我找到這個人

184
00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:34,209
我就會幫你實現願望

185
00:08:34,293 --> 00:08:35,543
免費的

186
00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:36,876
真的嗎？讓我看看

187
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,709
他笨笨的

188
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:41,918
居然把論壇帳號跟Facebook連結

189
00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:42,959
打開個人檔案

190
00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:45,459
他張貼了自己的拍賣連結

191
00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:50,084
很好，“二手車用收音機
無面板及手冊”

192
00:08:50,168 --> 00:08:53,251
立刻購買，選擇貨到付款

193
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:55,793
選擇面交，訂單完成！

194
00:08:55,876 --> 00:08:57,459
什麼？我要車用收音機幹嘛？

195
00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:59,626
重點不是車用收音機，是他的地址

196
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:07,543
不敗紀錄達成！

197
00:09:07,626 --> 00:09:09,334
接著，延續傳統

198
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,751
“瓦拉斯克，你這胖子

199
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:13,209
下一集在哪裡…”

200
00:09:13,293 --> 00:09:15,043
查瑞克，有人找你

201
00:09:15,126 --> 00:09:16,876
你好，波奇斯克17

202
00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:18,209
你認得我嗎？

203
00:09:19,418 --> 00:09:20,376
馬辛？

204
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:21,543
狗屁馬辛

205
00:09:21,626 --> 00:09:22,959
我是驅魔狂人勃納！

206
00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:24,543
天啊，真的假的？

207
00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:28,293
滾出我房間，不然我就封鎖你的帳號

208
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:31,043
網路一條龍，現實一條蟲

209
00:09:35,459 --> 00:09:36,543
你想幹嘛…

210
00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:44,043
“Windows系統重設，確定”

211
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,293
“確定要執行嗎？”

212
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,043
請你大發慈悲吧

213
00:09:47,751 --> 00:09:48,793
確認

214
00:09:50,376 --> 00:09:52,793
（憤怒的毒蛇拳）

215
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,959
不好意思，女士

216
00:09:55,043 --> 00:09:58,043
請問您有房間的備用鑰匙嗎？

217
00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:01,418
各位粉絲們好，我是艾迪塔

218
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:02,626
我今天要來號召大家

219
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:04,209
人類，醒醒吧！

220
00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:08,751
如果你不願被比爾蓋茲植入控制晶片

221
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:10,001
你們每一個人

222
00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,668
都該抵制高中畢業考試

223
00:10:11,751 --> 00:10:12,876
這個考試沒有半點用處

224
00:10:12,959 --> 00:10:14,459
而且還非常困難

225
00:10:14,543 --> 00:10:16,584
好，讓我來讀第一則留言

226
00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:21,251
“既然比爾蓋茲打算減少世界人口

227
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,168
這代表他只會留下必要的人類

228
00:10:24,251 --> 00:10:26,168
妳為何需要擔心？”

229
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:28,959
野蠻人！

230
00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:31,209
成功擊落！

231
00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:34,793
-午安
-午安

232
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:37,709
喂，這長角的傢伙是誰？
你不是要帶我上天堂嗎？

233
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:39,459
你是笨還是傻？

234
00:10:39,543 --> 00:10:42,459
穿過地獄之門，你只能來到地球

235
00:10:42,543 --> 00:10:45,126
-達米樂，把天堂之門拿來
-好

236
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:48,043
順帶一提，小子
你想買這個磁鐵嗎？

237
00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:48,959
或是這把斧頭？

238
00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:50,043
磁鐵多少錢？

239
00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:51,626
不貴，4.3元

240
00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:53,751
很可惜，我身上沒有那麼多錢

241
00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:54,959
其他地方也沒有

242
00:10:55,043 --> 00:10:56,293
好，我打開了

243
00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:58,459
萬歲，我終於可以回家了！

244
00:10:58,543 --> 00:11:01,543
你以為這是什麼地方？給我滾出去！

245
00:11:01,626 --> 00:11:02,959
看起來就還沒打過疫苗

246
00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:05,793
這悲慘的詛咒

247
00:11:05,876 --> 00:11:07,751
你能把我送回地獄嗎？

248
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,459
那裡還比較親切

249
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:12,793
你怎麼能用那副模樣去天堂？等一下

250
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:15,459
午安，不好意思
請問鋼管舞廳該往哪去？

251
00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:18,751
這個嘛，要看你願意花大錢

252
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,459
還是不介意便宜的地方

253
00:11:21,543 --> 00:11:23,168
那我要去便宜的

254
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:24,209
我了解了

255
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:26,168
你先走去市場…喂，等等！

256
00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:28,376
你幹嘛？快還給我！

257
00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:30,001
我成功了

258
00:11:30,084 --> 00:11:31,043
天啊，不！

259
00:11:31,126 --> 00:11:33,043
把那可怕的機器拿走！

260
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,376
天使警察之前對我開槍

261
00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:36,293
才害我變成這樣

262
00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:37,793
很多人不知道

263
00:11:37,876 --> 00:11:41,043
只要把電源的正負扭轉

264
00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:44,626
打回原形槍就會變成
聖化槍，你準備好了嗎？

265
00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:46,293
你瘋了嗎？等等！

266
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,126
好了

267
00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:53,334
我跳！

268
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:55,626
先生，請問最近的鋼管舞廳在哪？

269
00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:56,543
（結束）

270
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:58,543
不到300元就能驅魔

271
00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,918
其實只要200元，開發票才會多收錢

272
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:04,959
小心點，惡魔統領，他將來踹你屁股

273
00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:08,126
小心點，巴特西法，下個目標就是你

274
00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:16,043
字幕翻譯：樓艾苓