A NETFLIX SERIES
DISCOLASH DISCO-CLUB
Here's to the party so that we don't remember anything tomorrow.
And let the hangover be light and pleasant.
And to chicks! No need to remember them tomorrow either.
And may they also be lightweight.
Cheers!
-So what, round two? -Yeah.
I guess.
Because I'm thinking, Sylwek,
it's always just vodka, right?
How about trying something different?
Mariusz, I like you almost as my friend,
but if you say you want to switch
to this watered-down, beer-like piss they serve here,
I promise, and I take all the people present at this disco as witnesses,
that I'll fuck you up.
Are you crazy? Who do you think I am?
I had something more hardcore in mind.
-Better than vodka? -How about a line of coke?
-What? -What?
I mean… Have you ever tried it?
-Sure, how about you? -Yeah, sure.
-So we both haven't tried it. -So?
I think I saw a drug dealer outside the disco.
-Good afternoon. -What?
Good afternoon. Two lines of coke, please.
Dude, it's sold by grams.
-Well then, two grams. -Eight hundred.
-How much? -Okay, Mariusz, let's go.
Speed's cheaper. Thirty zloty per gram.
It'll be plenty for two lines.
As fat as the ones backstage at the New Year's Eve special.
I'll take it. You'll pay me back later.
Not here, you idiot. Put it away.
Goodbye.
-Now what? -Snort it.
All right.
Hey, the other one was for me.
Let's hit the dance floor!
Stop! Entry is ten zloty.
But we'd already paid and went out just for a bit.
It says here, "We don't let anyone out for a bit."
You want in? Pay again.
Where, you bastard?
Let's hit the dance floor!
The bouncer looked like a snail with horns instead of eyes.
But the guy didn't care.
He just ran onto the dance floor and went so berserk
that he scared all the customers away.
I told the head of security, "Everybody go to the main hall."
"Get the rioter out."
Five security guards.
Five men over 200 pounds
got into the hall and surrounded this moron.
The head of security shouted,
"No sport shoes allowed."
And the guy just looked with unconscious eyes and yelled,
"DJ, turn on the music, 'cause I'm break-dancing."
I said to the DJ, "Don't you dare."
The DJ said politely into the mic,
"The party's over. Please get the fuck out."
And then it all started.
The security guards were raining like flies.
-"Were dropping." -Sorry, dropping.
The security guards were dropping like flies.
The first one got his arm broken.
The second one got his leg broken.
The third one got his heart broken.
And the last two just got slapped.
Poor DJ had to play "Lambada" until 2:00 p.m. the next day.
And the moron was break-dancing
until he got a bald spot on the top of his head.
And it happens every week.
Each week, one or more freaks go crazy.
The police don't want to launch an investigation.
They say, "It's normal after the white stuff." But I think
there's something wrong with these drugs.
Sir, I know shit about drugs.
I'm a patriot. I only drink pure vodka.
And if there's none, any alcohol will do.
Jesus, but you're an exorcist. That shit they sell outside the club
is straight from hell.
All right, 200. Three if you want an invoice, so it's not worth it.
And I'm getting to work.
With an invoice. It's a business expense.
Holy shit, what a fucked-up idea.
So I have to set up a business.
Yippee!
Let's go and spend the money as soon as possible!
Lettuce in your wallet is bad luck!
That's right, a wallet's not a greenhouse!
Can someone please explain to me what we're doing here?
We're waiting for the drug dealer.
And you're here to make sure you don't mess up the office again.
Forgive me. I still can't get used to it.
Back home, toilets are for drinking only.
And you do it on the floor.
All right, now a question to kill time.
Is 12 a lot?
-It depends. -If bottles of vodka, then it is.
It doesn't matter. Bottles, years… centimeters.
That's what this is about. Well, that's rather not a lot.
But you're worrying unnecessarily. You're not using it anyway.
Okay, shut up. There he is.
Afternoon. One bag of the cheapest one.
Czech Tornado.
That's bold. One zloty fifty.
Go out of sight.
Fuck these stupid gloves.
Wait a second.
-I knew it! -Wait, let's make a deal.
I'll give you 100. I have a few thousand in my bag.
Damn it, I said too much. Wait!
Ninety-five, 96, 97, 98…
Ninety-nine?
And 100. All's good. Buzz off, Burro.
Thank you, Banio. Don Carlos Nachos.
El respecto.
Next!
Don Carlos… Banio…
Make it short, Diarea. Can't you see Don Carlos is in a hurry?
-What's that? -Well, we lost one of the dealers.
I don't care about a dealer. Where's the money and drugs?
They stole it.
Ouch! What…
You get the money and the drugs back, or you'll end up like Banio.
I'll become your right hand?
Yes, with a vent in your head.
What devil made me become a gangster?
The money's decent, but what will I do with money in a grave in the desert?
I should've listened to my mother and finished that sociology degree.
Then I'd just choose from the job offers.
Handing out fliers, night watchman, dishwasher job…
And maybe I'd be a little smarter.
Dynia, listen to me. It's not too late for you.
First of all, I don't mind my stupidity.
Second of all,
would you have this after college?
All right. Fine, you convinced me.
I'm not complaining. Wait, I'm gonna throw up.
Okay, turn it off. We have some suckers to shoot.
The situation is under control.
It was close.
Domino, I should take this hose and shove it up your…
Ass? Hello?
What do you mean, again? You saw for yourself that I sorted it out.
Okay, but it'll cost you the same.
I'm on my way. Okay, morons, finish yourselves.
I'm off to the disco. They're dealing that shit again.
Boss, are you sure? Why don't I go with you and help?
No way. I'd rather have Sasin help me.
-But-- -Man.
You were supposed to water the garden,
but you almost cut my fingers off with the mower and set the gazebo on fire.
I got you, dickhead.
How many more dickheads do I have to kill before they get it?
Hey, it's fake. I can't believe it.
He even put diodes in this shit to look like eyes.
Why would anyone go to all that trou--
-I got him! -Very well, take him to hell.
Take out the diodes, 'cause they were from my bike.
What happened?
Where am I?
In the ass. Or even better, welcome to hell!
Whoever raises their hand against the cartel
gets a bullet in their head.
No, it should be "in their hand."
Whatever. One way or the other, or a wiener, you've seconds left to live.
Any last wishes before you die?
Yeah, put a gun to your head
and pull the trigger.
That's it?
Diara, wait.
It could be a setup.
You're right.
Sorry, dude, I don't trust you.
That's why we're gonna skip it.
Ready?
Three,
two…
Three…
It's harder to count down. Let's do it differently.
Three, fo--
He's brave 'cause he's holding a gun.
Put that toy away,
and let's fistfight like real men.
Do you think you would have a chance?
KO in the first round.
Anyone can talk tough.
Fuck, you asked for it.
-Diara. -Just a moment.
Frenzy!
Told you!
I warned you!
Why don't I just shoot him?
Don't you dare! I have a big point lead.
Attack!
Do you have enough?
Unfortunately, I have bad news for you.
We fight until one of us pops their clog--
Hands up, dickheads!
Damn, that's not what I wanted. Okay, I'll aim better now.
Fu-- Whatever.
Third time's the charm.
I'm out of ammo.
The roles have reversed, smart-ass.
Any last wishes before you die?
Yes, lend me your gun for a moment.
All right, then. Last wish is a sacred thing.
THE END
Exorcist for less than 300
Actually, it's 200 If you want a bill, it'll cost you more
Watch it, Belzedup You're gonna get your ass kicked
Watch it, Dupcyper He's aiming at you
Subtitle translation by: Agnieszka Czarnecka