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NETFLIX 原創影集

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（收費停車場）

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劇名：雙管比爾

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就是那台車

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太美了

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我已經可以想像西蒙
看到我們在地獄兜風的表情

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也能想像他的爛屁股
因為他會羨慕致屎

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路奇等一下，我不太懂

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既然我們要偷車

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為何不乾脆偷更好的車款？

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像是奧迪之類的

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-天啊，受不了你！
-幹嘛？

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八拿巴，我一回地獄就要
開車去找老媽抱怨

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不敢相信你這種笨蛋
居然是我的親生兄弟

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首先，你知道養一台奧迪多花錢嗎？

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更換故障零件的費用就要…

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我也不清楚，反正非常多

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這種車款就不用花多少錢

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-然後呢？
-然後…

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你該行動了！

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-喂！
-動作快

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不然就等著吃我拳頭

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哎呀

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噓，路奇！

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該死！偏偏踫上樺樹落花粉的季節

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我的花粉過敏比對聖水的反應還嚴重

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好，八拿巴，我們現在要輕聲細…

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哎唷，我的媽呀！

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怎麼回事？又是你們倆？

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沒錯，我早就警告過你

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而且這次我有記得帶駕照！

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帶上你的狗，回去警衛亭

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然後打開柵欄，這樣就不會有人受傷

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小黑回來！

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八拿巴！

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換你展現實力了

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居然有內建音響！

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不過沒有控制面板
算了，我們可以用猜的

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啟動成功！

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柵欄怎麼還沒開？

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閃個大燈，也許他忘了

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先別心急！

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該死，快把刀給我，我來處理他！

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八拿巴，你真是的！
我們是親兄弟，不可以這樣！

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任務完成，一共是200元

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我不知道原因
但惡魔老是被這台車吸引

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就像我老婆總是吸收著卡路里

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至於除魔費，我沒有那麼多錢

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其實我一毛錢也沒有
不過我有更好的東…

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你想都別想

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該死，沒子彈了

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可惜你運氣不好

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我原想幫你擺脫痛苦，但子彈用完了

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沒辦法，我該走了，再見！

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以上就是這傷口的由來

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那之後再也沒人見過雙管比爾

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直到今天…

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老大，我雖然很尊敬你
不過那故事很像胡說八道

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怎麼可能光看胎痕就認出車款？

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好吧，也許有可能

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不過這些胎紋就跟
噬神怪的睪丸一樣平滑

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所以我非常肯定這就是他的車

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也許是賽車用的光頭胎？

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光頭胎不會有電線的痕跡，跟我來

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噬神怪和克羅素怪的差異是什麼？

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我一直搞不清楚

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噬神怪的老二很小，睪丸尺寸正常

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克羅素怪則是老二非常小

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-睪丸呢？
-看情況，通常也很小

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往這邊！

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魁丘，上次是你付錢，我光喝酒

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所以這次換我喝酒，你付錢如何？

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聽起來很公平，我可以

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不過馬拉斯，問題是我身上沒錢

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別擔心，魁丘！

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朋友有難兩肋插刀，我可以借你

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馬拉斯，謝謝，你真是個好朋友

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我會付你恰好40％的利息

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酒保，再來兩杯

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雙手舉高，我要搶劫！

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不許動，這樣就沒有人…

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除了那個倒霉鬼，會受傷

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首先…

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給在場每個人一杯酒，我請客！

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你沒聽錯，見者有份！

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我要喝雙倍，因為我是雙管比爾

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賓果！這就是他的車

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這部車太帥了吧！

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哎，居然還有人說多行不義必自斃

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酷耶！時速可到達220公里

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還是220伏特？隨便啦

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哇，有內建音響，不過沒有控制面板

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但無傷大雅，反正用猜的就好

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真是的！要是我還住在地獄
一定會竭盡所能買下這台車

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老大，你說比爾的車是暗紅色

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不過這台跟地獄一樣黑漆漆的

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設備還如此高級

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他大概重新上過漆

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畢竟他有三年的時間可以幫車子拉皮

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無論外觀如何，至少能開
不像我們那台垃圾卡車

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如果不是被你毀掉引擎
我們的卡車也還能開

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還不是你堅持要我連續測試半小時！

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馬辛，先把卡車放一邊

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專心執行任務

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如果一切順利

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我們就能處理掉雙管比爾

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然後順便搶把車鑰匙搶過來

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一石二鳥！

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聽好，這次的計畫是…

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乾杯

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雙重乾杯

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酒保，每人再來一杯！

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比爾先生，恕我直言
你累積的消費金額已到達500元

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如果想再點酒，必須先將賒帳結清

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對不起，這是我們酒吧的規矩

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我的規矩是，如果你不讓我繼續喝…

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我就不讓你繼續活！

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你想要倒酒，還是
想要多一個通風口在額頭上？

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我願意倒酒

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-別這麼緊張嘛
-馬拉斯！

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打電話叫幾位小姐過來

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我要兩位！因為我是雙管比爾

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我要指名是給惡魔的嗎？

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好，非常飢渴的惡魔！

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對了，便宜的就可以，我不挑剔

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太棒了，沒有比酒吧更像家的地方

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爸，拜託，我們回家吧
你已經喝得夠多了

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我喝夠自然會告訴你

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進去吧！

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開鎖器就像生殖器，一樣細也很正常

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轉一轉，芝麻開門

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開了！射門成功！

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酒保！兩杯伏特加
給我和我的乖兒子！

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爸，我未滿18歲

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我知道，所以我會幫你喝

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住手！

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把錢拿回去

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今天我請客！

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但我才是付錢的人

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是嗎？那就謝謝你了

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（禁止進入，僅限員工入內）

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噓…

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敬我的乖兒子

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接著…

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舉起雙手，雙管比爾！

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難道一口伏特加就讓你醉了？

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在你想到要扣下板機前
你就會沒命，永別了！

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什麼？

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克羅素怪，你在找這個嗎？

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不，你才是小雞雞的克羅素怪

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準備好了嗎？下地獄去…

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抓住他們！

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不准對我們的恩人開槍！

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我原本想說你們還算幸運

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至少我在這片混戰中遺失了手槍

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不過眾人一致認同
你們需要被處以絞刑！

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唉，我們沒救了

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達米樂，你是我最好的朋友

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至於老大，你是我的…老闆

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如果這就是結局，我也想說點話

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我雖然還是處男，但我活得很開心

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我也想說，如果我們能活著離開這裡

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我保證會馬上幫你加薪，馬辛

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達米樂，我也會多少付你一點薪水

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安靜！別再浪費時間了
我們還有很多伏特加要喝！

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誰想去踢椅子？

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-讓我來！
-讓我來踢你屁股！

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糟糕

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-再見
-晚安

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我不是說下班要直接回家？
你在這裡做什麼？

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佳琪雅，我只是…

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別喊我名字，給我回家！

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喂！等一下，這是怎樣…

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-好痛！
-閉嘴！不然我就再打一次！

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不，沒有女人膽敢對我…

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我先走了

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我們走吧

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天啊，我們太幸運了

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老大，你要說到做到喔

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好啦，我是開玩笑的！

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（結束）

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不到300元就能驅魔

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其實只要200元，開發票才會多收錢

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小心點，惡魔統領，他將來踹你屁股

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小心點，巴特西法，下個目標就是你

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字幕翻譯：樓艾苓