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NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
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Rysiek!
3
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A BABY FROM HELL
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Rysiek!
5
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Your husband is really
a light weight drinker. Rysiek!
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Cheers!
7
00:00:32,584 --> 00:00:36,126
Gotta wizz. Take care of sausages, Sylwia.
8
00:00:49,293 --> 00:00:52,251
Hi, handsome, are you alone?
9
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I'm done, woman. Wanna ride me to death?!
I gotta have a smoke anyway!
10
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Rysiek... I'm pregnant.
11
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Well, let's find out
the sex of your baby...
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Is everything fine, doc?
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Sure... It's a boy. Thank you for coming.
14
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A boy! Did you hear that, Jowita? A son!
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Nurse, speculum please.
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-Here it is.
-Thanks.
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Let's see what we've got here...
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What the heck?!
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Is something wrong?
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Not sure... A paw reached out
and grabbed the speculum.
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-Dr. Tom, have you been drinking again?
-What? No!
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I mean I have! But I'm sure what I saw.
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-So you have been drinking?!
-Come on, just a few shots.
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I'm a big man.
25
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Can I have one?
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-Just to calm me down.
-Rysiek!
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See? Even if I wanted to share,
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and I don't, since there's
not much left, I couldn't.
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Well, the speculum is gone,
so I'll do it with my bare hands...
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-Aah!
-Fuckin' shit!
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I'll be back, mommy!
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Boner, you moron,
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why the hell did you bring
this dead priest-eater in here?
34
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For the primo secundo,
I thought you'd be interested,
35
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and for the secundo tertio,
he's not dead, just out cold.
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If he was just out cold,
he wouldn't have made a mess.
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Dead, his sphincter relaxed.
38
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Get him out of my desk!
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Wait a minute! The moron
was right! He's not dead at all.
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And he keeps on shitting! On purpose!
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Stop shooting,
you're gonna kill the archbishop!
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Boner, you idiot,
you're gonna hurt someone!
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Don't do anything, I'll take care of it!
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Boner, do something!
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Make up your mind, finally!
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He's bitten me! Hurry up!
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Stop moving! I can't aim!
48
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Are you telling me
you actually wanna shoot?!
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Your excellency, take the shotgun
from him before someone gets hurt!
50
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OK, let's deal with it
the way real men do.
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-With a shot of vodka!
-Did somebody say vodka?
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Just kidding.
53
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Let's fight!
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Not only did you interrupt my meal,
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you also made me wanna have some vodka!
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I'm gonna kill ya!
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Well, he was very lucky
I didn't punch him back.
58
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He pissed me off! I wanted to punch him
really hard. He would've been hurt badly.
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Stop beating about the bush!
Take me to the hospital!
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I need a tetanus shot.
I bet he wasn't immunized.
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For God's sake, Boner,
who taught you how to drive?!
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A friend. The same person
who taught me how to shoot.
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Anyway, how was I supposed to know
you had a broken car?
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I wanted to slow down. A normal car
chokes up when you speed up.
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-It's rather empty today.
-Hello! Is anybody there?
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Be quiet, you're gonna
wake up the patients.
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Come on, it's not a library!
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Ring, ring, damn it!
69
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You've got an incoming patient.
70
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Customer service sucks here
even more than at our company.
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Drunk or not, I'm always at my desk.
And there's nobody here.
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You know what? Thanks for the lift,
but here's some money for a cab.
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Just go back to your trailer,
I'll do it alone.
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Did you fart?
75
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I did, but I also heard a scream.
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We gotta check it out.
Something bad is going on here.
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-The fuck--
-Ahem!
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What the fuzz fucking happened here?
Somebody's birthday party?
79
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No, it was something else.
No puke in the toilets.
80
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I told you. Something's wrong!
81
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It doesn't mean anything.
Maybe the janitor's off duty.
82
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OK, If you say so. It's fishy.
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Look over here!
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Holy moly, look!
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I get it. A gathering
of menstruating broads.
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We'd better not enter.
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-It's not a safe place for men.
-Get your weapons ready, we're going in.
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Yummy, fresh meat! You're welcome to join!
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Thanks, no need for cutlery!
90
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You'd sooner defeat poverty
in Africa than me!
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Freeze!
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You've got no chance against that dork.
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I have a plan.
To the operating room, quickly!
94
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I know what you've been up to.
95
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You wanna get wasted this one last time.
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I didn't know that side of you,
but I do like the idea
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Sanitizing alcohol's the best. Cheers.
98
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You're the worst bum I've ever seen!
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-Thanks a lot!
-Grab a syringe with Demerol!
100
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Get ready for the attack!
I can't handle the doors for long!
101
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I've been waiting for this moment
since I was born!
102
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So, not too long. Doesn't matter,
the point is I lived to see it.
103
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Phew, we did it! We won!
104
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We will be sure
only if we cut his head off.
105
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Thanks God I've found a tetanus shot.
We gotta tell the chief of police.
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But if you think I'd let you bring
this crap into the car, then you're wrong.
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If you think I actually do care...
Well, then you're right.
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Come on, such a nice trophy
to hang on the wall.
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Did I make it?
110
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Oh no! You killed my baby!
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He was supposed to inherit
the farm from me!
112
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Holy cow, we need to
take of this one, too!
113
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I know, I'm just trying to find
an entertaining way to do it!
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I got it!
115
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Perfect... Maybe I'll get one too.
116
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Give me the poster, no time to waste!
He's about to find us.
117
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Hey? Hello?
118
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If I were you, I'd leave the hideout
and let me kill you!
119
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There's nothing to wait for!
120
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But your wish is my command.
121
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I'm gonna find you anyway,
no need to rush!
122
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I've got plenty of time!
Almost the whole night.
123
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Farmer's market opens
no earlier than 5 a.m.
124
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Hey, and what's that?
125
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Enema - improves digestion and mood.
126
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Self-service.
127
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I'd be crazy not to get in on it.
128
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He's taken the bait.
129
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Nice and useful.
130
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The nice part is kinda obvious.
131
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:12,543
And useful, because
it's supposed to improve something.
132
00:10:12,626 --> 00:10:14,709
So, let's do it!
133
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Burns a little... Must be hot water...
134
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Oh fuck, it scorches! But I can take it!
135
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-Are you sure?
-What?
136
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You Judases!
137
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We did it!
138
00:10:34,918 --> 00:10:36,959
I don't like you, but I have to admit,
139
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sometimes your ideas are pretty good.
Okay, we can go back.
140
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What are you doing?
141
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THE END