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NETFLIX 影集

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（閃亮迪斯可舞廳）

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劇名：惡魔合作社

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這杯敬今晚的派對

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希望我們明天起床後，什麼都不記得

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宿醉的症狀輕微又愉快

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也敬那些女人

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希望我明天也不記得她們

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希望她們體重也能變輕

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乾杯

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那要再來一杯嗎？

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好啊

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我可以

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不過我有個想法，西爾維克

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我們平常都喝伏特加

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今天要不要

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嘗試別的？

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馬呂歐斯，我雖然幾乎把你當成朋友

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但如果你打算點這裡的招牌

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那種偽裝成啤酒的稀釋尿液

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我會讓整個舞廳的人幫我作證

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我一定會親手宰了你

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你瘋了嗎？你覺得我是那種人？

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我指的是更厲害的東西

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比伏特還厲害？

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你覺得古柯鹼如何？

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-什麼？
-幹嘛？

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我是說…

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你有嘗試過嗎？

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當然有，你呢？

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我也有啊

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-看來我們都沒試過
-所以呢？

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所以！我剛在舞廳外有看到一位毒販

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-晚安
-幹嘛？

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晚安，麻煩給我兩條古柯鹼

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老兄，毒品是以克計價

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-好吧，那我要兩克
-八百元

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-你說多少？
-好了，馬呂歐斯，我們走

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安非他命比較便宜，每克30元

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兩個人用這些就很足夠

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可以讓你像在跨年晚會狂歡一樣興奮

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那我要買

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你之後再還我錢

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笨蛋，不是在這裡，快收起來

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再見

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-現在呢？
-用鼻子吸

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好吧

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喂，另一條是我的！

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我們去跳舞！

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停！入場費十元

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但我們已經付過，只是暫離一下下

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這裡有寫：“不准暫離一下下”

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想進去？就再付一次錢

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混蛋，你想去哪？

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我們去跳舞吧！

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那名警衛的眼睛
變得像蝸牛一樣兩根尖尖

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但那傢伙豪不在乎

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發狂似的直接衝進舞池

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把所有客人都嚇跑了

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我跟警衛隊長說

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“派所有人去大廳

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把那個暴徒趕出去”

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動員了五名警衛

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一共五個壯漢，一人一百公斤

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他們進入大廳，圍住那個神經病

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警衛隊長對那傢伙大喊

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“不准穿運動鞋入場！”

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那傢伙只是抬起迷濛的眼神大喊

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“DJ放音樂，我現在要跳舞！”

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我跟DJ說：“不准放音樂”

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於是DJ對著麥克風說

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“派對結束了，請你滾出去”

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然後惡夢就開始了

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警衛們被打得落井下石
像被電蚊拍擊落的蒼蠅

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-你想說“落花流水”？
-抱歉，落花流水

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警衛們被打得落花流水
像被電蚊拍擊落的蒼蠅

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第一個警衛

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手斷

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第二個警衛

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腿斷

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第三個警衛

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肝腸寸斷

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剩下兩個警衛被揍了兩拳

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可憐的DJ被迫不停放音樂

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直到隔天下午兩點

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那個神經病不停頭轉

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直到他頭頂禿了一大塊

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而且這種爛事每週都發生

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每週都有至少一個怪胎發瘋

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警察不願意介入調查

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他們說：“吸點白色粉末後

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那樣很正常”

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但我覺得這些毒品一定有問題

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先生，我對毒品一無所知

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我是愛國者，只愛喝伏特加

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不過沒有的時候，是酒精就可以

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拜託，但你是驅魔師

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況且他們在舞廳外賣的東西

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很明顯是來自地獄

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好吧，出勤費用是200元

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要發票就給我300元，不過不划算

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收到錢我就可以上工了

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給我發票，因為我要報帳

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天啊，你怎麼會有那種想法

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這樣我還得去申請營業執照

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喔耶！

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我們快點進去把錢花光光！

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現金留在皮夾裡會倒大楣！

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沒錯，皮夾可不是培養皿！

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誰能解釋一下，我們來這裡幹嘛？

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馬辛跟我在等毒販

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而你跟來，是為了確保辦公室的整潔

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請原諒我，我還不太習慣

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在我老家，馬桶的水是拿來喝的

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其他排泄都是在地上

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好吧，我有個問題能幫你們打發時間

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12算多嗎？

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-那要看情況
-如果是講伏特加，那算多

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都可以，不管是瓶子、年份…

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或是長度

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原來是指那個

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那就不算太多

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但你完全不必擔心，反正也不用上

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好，閉上嘴，目標出現了

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晚安，給我一包最便宜的

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捷克龍捲風

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這個很不錯，1.5元

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快跟我過來

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這該死的手套

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等一下

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我就知道！

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等等，我們談個條件

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我給你一百元，我包裡還有上千元

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糟糕，我說溜嘴了，等等！

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95、96、97、98…

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99？

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100，剛剛好

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布洛，你可以滾了

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巴尼歐，謝謝

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唐卡羅納丘斯

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我敬佩您

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下一位！

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唐卡羅、巴尼歐，那個…

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達亞拉，長話短說

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你看不出來唐卡羅在趕時間嗎？

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-怎麼回事？
-我們失去了一個毒販

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我才不在乎毒販的死活

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錢和毒品呢？

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被搶走了

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好痛！怎麼了？

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你去把錢和毒品找回來

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不然你就是下一個巴尼歐

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我會成為你的左右手嗎？

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對，而且額頭上會有個通風口

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我幹嘛選擇當黑道？

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儘管薪水不差

157
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但我拿這些錢
在沙漠的墓園裡能幹嘛？

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早知道就聽媽媽的話乖乖讀完大學

159
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那樣至少有比較多工作選擇

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像是去發傳單、夜班警衛、洗碗工

161
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也許我也能更聰明一點

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迪尼亞，聽我一勸

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你現在改變還來得及

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首先，我很滿意我的無知

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第二

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大學畢業後，你能買得起這台車嗎？

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好吧，你說服我了

168
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我對這點沒有怨言

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等等，我要吐了

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拜託停下來，我們還得去抓那些蠢蛋

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火勢已經控制住了

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好險

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達米樂，我真該把這根水管

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戳進你的…

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屁眼？不對，你好？

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那又是什麼意思？

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你親眼看到我完成任務了

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好吧，但要再收一次錢

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我馬上過去

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好，你們自己收尾吧

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我要去迪斯可舞廳，他們又有爛攤子

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老大，你確定嗎？

183
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需要我一起去幫忙嗎？

184
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算了吧，阿貓阿狗都比你強

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-可是…
-閉嘴！

186
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你應該要幫花園澆水

187
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卻差點用除草機弄斷我的手指

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還幾乎放火燒了涼亭

189
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我找到你了，笨蛋

190
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我還得再殺幾個，他們才會放棄？

191
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咦？這是假的

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不可置信

193
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居然把發光的燈泡坎在大便裡當眼睛

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怎麼會有人花這種功夫…

195
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我抓到人了！

196
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很好，帶他下地獄

197
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記得把燈泡拿回來

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因為是從我腳踏車上拿下來的

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怎麼回事？

200
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我在哪？

201
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屁眼裡，你不是在作夢

202
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歡迎來到地獄！

203
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誰敢伸手阻擋販毒行動

204
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我就讓他腦袋開花

205
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等等，子彈會先打到伸出來的手

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隨便啦，不管這樣那樣還是怎樣

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你的生命已經快到盡頭了

208
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臨死前有什麼遺願嗎？

209
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有，我想用槍抵著你的頭

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然後扣下扳機

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就這樣？

212
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達亞拉，等等

213
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這可能是他的詭計

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你說得對

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抱歉，我不信任你

216
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所以我們要跳過這個步驟

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你準備好了嗎？

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三、二…

219
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三

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等等，倒數太難了，我們換個方式

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三、四…

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手上有槍的人當然勇敢

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你有種就把那支玩具放下

224
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像真男人一樣跟我用拳頭對決

225
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:58,293
你以為那樣就能贏過我嗎？

226
00:09:58,376 --> 00:10:00,709
我一拳就能把你打暈

227
00:10:00,793 --> 00:10:02,543
那種大話誰都會說

228
00:10:02,626 --> 00:10:04,793
可惡，這是你自找的！

229
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:06,376
-達亞拉
-等我一下

230
00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:10,293
我來了！

231
00:10:15,418 --> 00:10:16,376
我就說吧！

232
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,376
我警告過你了！

233
00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:24,709
不如我直接射殺他吧？

234
00:10:24,793 --> 00:10:27,459
不准！我很明顯佔了上風

235
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:29,668
進攻！

236
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:33,418
你累了嗎？

237
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,543
很遺憾，我有個壞消息要告訴你

238
00:10:37,626 --> 00:10:41,043
我們得奮戰到一方掛掉為止…

239
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,376
笨蛋們，把手舉起來！

240
00:10:48,043 --> 00:10:49,293
可惡，我不是要殺他

241
00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:51,251
這次我會瞄準一點

242
00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:53,918
媽的，算了

243
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,918
事不過三

244
00:10:57,126 --> 00:10:59,043
我沒子彈了

245
00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:07,293
現在角色顛倒了，白癡

246
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,209
你死前有什麼遺願嗎？

247
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:10,168
有

248
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:12,293
把槍借給我一下

249
00:11:13,918 --> 00:11:17,126
好吧，遺願很神聖

250
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:27,459
（結束）

251
00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:29,459
不到300元就能驅魔

252
00:11:29,543 --> 00:11:32,751
其實只要200元，開發票才會多收錢

253
00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:35,584
小心點，惡魔統領，他將來踹你屁股

254
00:11:35,668 --> 00:11:39,043
小心點，巴特西法，下個目標就是你

255
00:11:43,876 --> 00:11:47,043
字幕翻譯：樓艾苓