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NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
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The Fuckamaya Mountains.
We're getting close...
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THE CURSED COMMERCIAL
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-Oh fuck...
-Horsy, you can talk?
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Not too fucking much,
but I can swear really nice.
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Neigh up his fucking ass!
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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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The Lublin Upland.
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This is where Poland's
best hop plants grow.
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But don't overpay!
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We brew our Karaś beer
using the best hops from China!
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Karaś beer. You can't beat that!
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Karaś supports the campaign "Alcohol
for adults only". Beer is not alcohol.
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I'm going to the fridge to get a brewski.
All who don't want one, raise your hands!
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So everybody wants one.
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OK, I need to go to flood the cave.
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Czesław... Czesław...
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Czesław meatballs contain 10% meat.
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The other ingredients
are our sweet secret.
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I could kill for these meatballs.
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Kill! Kill! Kill!
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If you don't drink beer,
then you must be weird--
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Pietrucha, is everything OK?
Damn. You don't look too good.
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Here, have some beer.
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I prefer meatballs.
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Pietrucha, how could you?
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I was going for number one,
but ended up doing number two.
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Glad I sat down... Pietrucha?
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Ha ha, come on. I'm ticklish...
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Meatballs!
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That's what it looks like.
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This one stormed inside the precinct,
attacked officer Forskinner,
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and stole his loaded weapon.
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Luckily he didn't know how to use it.
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The others died in car accidents
or fell from the roof.
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I don't find it weird.
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People lose their shit
when they get wasted on weekends.
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Besides, all the "possessed" died anyway.
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So, the problem solved itself.
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It'll happen all over again next week!
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Can't say what the cause is,
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but every Saturday a few people
from town go wacko
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and start to sow death and destruction.
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It could be some shitty booze import
from behind the eastern border.
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I've been drinking it myself and I'm fine.
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Witnesses reported
some people went crazy without drinking,
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while watching a movie on cable.
During the commercial break.
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I know what you mean.
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Cursed commercial.
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I heard that story too.
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Let me follow this lead.
I doubt it, though. It's bullshit.
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Just like that legend
about the cursed toilet.
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But, as they say,
the customer is always dumb.
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Sorry. I'll clean it up.
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-How can we control it?
-Here is an official court order.
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Signed by bigwigs.
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No worries, it's not about
broadcasting unlicensed movies.
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So what is it about?
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Mostly about the commercial breaks
aired on Saturday nights.
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Commercials?
Is anyone even watching those?
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I don't have any idea what actually gets
on the air. Janusz, show them the discs.
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Marcinek and the other moron,
go with Mr. Janusz
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and see what they aired, while I ask
director Peedon a few more questions.
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I'm more than happy to do that,
but we took over the network recently.
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After the incident when almost
the entire Tele-stuff crew died.
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Only the janitor survived.
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Then let's go see the guy!
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Sure. Let me warn you first,
old Mr. Goatee is a bit cuckoo.
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All the commercials are in this folder.
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I don't know which ones
aired last Saturday.
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Computer picks them randomly.
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Oh man! 340 files?
We're gonna be here all night.
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Don't tell me you're not into
commercials? Some of them are dope!
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Vaginal tablets Lorell
will get rid of the smell.
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Are you fed up with your beer belly?
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Want women to check you out
like they used to?
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Change your habits
and get fit. Pure vodka...
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So you wanna find out
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what happened here that night?
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It's the third time I'm asking,
so why don't you tell me.
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Quiet! Or I'll be quiet!
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Just start talking.
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Talking? Oh no. No way.
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I'll be babbling, saying whatever shit
comes to my mind, so help me vodka.
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And from that river of shit,
you'll fish out some raisins of truth.
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Beware though,
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they may taste like shit,
but they aren't good to eat.
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Let us begin.
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It was a Thursday evening...
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The Tele-stuff crew was about to finish
shooting the Lorell tablet commercial.
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I was following my daily work routine.
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All of a sudden
something strange happened.
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Instead of 6 p.m.,
the clock struck midnight!
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The sky turned dark
and a lightning hit the Lanos.
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Next, the doors opened!
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And a beast stood there...
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Everyone froze with horror.
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Then the beast spoke...
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But I wasn't listening, 'cause
I was busy with my daily work routine.
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...and if you refuse,
I'll rip your head off!
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And I'll show you
where devil says good evening.
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Oh no! I'm the director here--
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-Huh?
-Good evening.
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And then the hell unleashed.
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Good evening...
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Unfortunately I don't know exactly
what went on next,
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as I was deeply absorbed in my routine.
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Everybody says vodka kills,
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but I'm a perfect proof of the opposite.
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Gross.
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This is when I blacked out for good.
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I'm not sure how long I was out,
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but long enough for my pants to dry out.
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When I opened my eyes, the beast was gone,
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but there was a smell
of meatballs in the air...
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Meatballs, you say.
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Well, that's very simple.
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Demon recorded the commercial
as a decoy and then he cursed it.
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Normal people don't watch commercials,
but woe to those who--
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Marcinek! Don't watch the meatballs!
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-What are you doing?
-Uh... nothing.
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-What's up?
-Are you playing cards?
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Very good!
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Really?
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They bored me to death.
Who watches commercials?
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That massager for the low part
of your digestive track turned me off.
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-Domino's still watching though.
-Oh shit!
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I forgot about this dumb ass.
Stop watching--
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Too late.
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Domino, what's happened to you?
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What's gonna happen to you!
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Too bad. Not a huge loss.
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No!
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If you shoot him, I'll quit!
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Fine with me. I'll get rid of
two losers at once.
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And I'll report you to the Parliament
for my illegal employment!
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I'm gonna regret that.
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Domino, go to the truck
and wait there for your meatballs!
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So, where are these meatb--
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Hey!
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Call Natan, let him do his
church mumbo jumbo shit.
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Exorcism on the devil! That's a new one.
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Kind of weird, but it worked.
He'll be waking up really soon.
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You owe me one, Boner. See ya!
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Your mama owes me a blow job--
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Who dares to remove the curse
and cancel my fricking commercial?
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That was the only copy!
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You!
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It won't be the meatballs,
but you're about to drop dead anyway!
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Sławek?
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Dominik?
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Long time no see!
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-Should I kill them?
-No, let them live. They're cool.
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We used to be in third grade together,
Sławek and I. But I failed.
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And I got expelled.
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Are you telling me you switched over
to the bright side of the force? Well?
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-Was it worth it?
-It was, to say the truth.
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I actually break even every month.
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No shit. I don't.
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By the way, are you looking for
someone to work?
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Gotta ask the boss. So? Are we?
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The more the merrier.
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OK. But first, you start off
working for free.
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Yes, got a raise already!
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And second--
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Now you owe me two!
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THE END