NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
The Fuckamaya Mountains. We're getting close...
THE CURSED COMMERCIAL
-Oh fuck... -Horsy, you can talk?
Not too fucking much, but I can swear really nice.
Neigh up his fucking ass!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The Lublin Upland.
This is where Poland's best hop plants grow.
But don't overpay!
We brew our Karaś beer using the best hops from China!
Karaś beer. You can't beat that!
Karaś supports the campaign "Alcohol for adults only". Beer is not alcohol.
I'm going to the fridge to get a brewski. All who don't want one, raise your hands!
So everybody wants one.
OK, I need to go to flood the cave.
Czesław... Czesław...
Czesław meatballs contain 10% meat.
The other ingredients are our sweet secret.
I could kill for these meatballs.
Kill! Kill! Kill!
If you don't drink beer, then you must be weird--
Pietrucha, is everything OK? Damn. You don't look too good.
Here, have some beer.
I prefer meatballs.
Pietrucha, how could you?
I was going for number one, but ended up doing number two.
Glad I sat down... Pietrucha?
Ha ha, come on. I'm ticklish...
Meatballs!
That's what it looks like.
This one stormed inside the precinct, attacked officer Forskinner,
and stole his loaded weapon.
Luckily he didn't know how to use it.
The others died in car accidents or fell from the roof.
I don't find it weird.
People lose their shit when they get wasted on weekends.
Besides, all the "possessed" died anyway.
So, the problem solved itself.
It'll happen all over again next week!
Can't say what the cause is,
but every Saturday a few people from town go wacko
and start to sow death and destruction.
It could be some shitty booze import from behind the eastern border.
I've been drinking it myself and I'm fine.
Witnesses reported some people went crazy without drinking,
while watching a movie on cable. During the commercial break.
I know what you mean.
Cursed commercial.
I heard that story too.
Let me follow this lead. I doubt it, though. It's bullshit.
Just like that legend about the cursed toilet.
But, as they say, the customer is always dumb.
Sorry. I'll clean it up.
-How can we control it? -Here is an official court order.
Signed by bigwigs.
No worries, it's not about broadcasting unlicensed movies.
So what is it about?
Mostly about the commercial breaks aired on Saturday nights.
Commercials? Is anyone even watching those?
I don't have any idea what actually gets on the air. Janusz, show them the discs.
Marcinek and the other moron, go with Mr. Janusz
and see what they aired, while I ask director Peedon a few more questions.
I'm more than happy to do that, but we took over the network recently.
After the incident when almost the entire Tele-stuff crew died.
Only the janitor survived.
Then let's go see the guy!
Sure. Let me warn you first, old Mr. Goatee is a bit cuckoo.
All the commercials are in this folder.
I don't know which ones aired last Saturday.
Computer picks them randomly.
Oh man! 340 files? We're gonna be here all night.
Don't tell me you're not into commercials? Some of them are dope!
Vaginal tablets Lorell will get rid of the smell.
Are you fed up with your beer belly?
Want women to check you out like they used to?
Change your habits and get fit. Pure vodka...
So you wanna find out
what happened here that night?
It's the third time I'm asking, so why don't you tell me.
Quiet! Or I'll be quiet!
Just start talking.
Talking? Oh no. No way.
I'll be babbling, saying whatever shit comes to my mind, so help me vodka.
And from that river of shit, you'll fish out some raisins of truth.
Beware though,
they may taste like shit, but they aren't good to eat.
Let us begin.
It was a Thursday evening...
The Tele-stuff crew was about to finish shooting the Lorell tablet commercial.
I was following my daily work routine.
All of a sudden something strange happened.
Instead of 6 p.m., the clock struck midnight!
The sky turned dark and a lightning hit the Lanos.
Next, the doors opened!
And a beast stood there...
Everyone froze with horror.
Then the beast spoke...
But I wasn't listening, 'cause I was busy with my daily work routine.
...and if you refuse, I'll rip your head off!
And I'll show you where devil says good evening.
Oh no! I'm the director here--
-Huh? -Good evening.
And then the hell unleashed.
Good evening...
Unfortunately I don't know exactly what went on next,
as I was deeply absorbed in my routine.
Everybody says vodka kills,
but I'm a perfect proof of the opposite.
Gross.
This is when I blacked out for good.
I'm not sure how long I was out,
but long enough for my pants to dry out.
When I opened my eyes, the beast was gone,
but there was a smell of meatballs in the air...
Meatballs, you say.
Well, that's very simple.
Demon recorded the commercial as a decoy and then he cursed it.
Normal people don't watch commercials, but woe to those who--
Marcinek! Don't watch the meatballs!
-What are you doing? -Uh... nothing.
-What's up? -Are you playing cards?
Very good!
Really?
They bored me to death. Who watches commercials?
That massager for the low part of your digestive track turned me off.
-Domino's still watching though. -Oh shit!
I forgot about this dumb ass. Stop watching--
Too late.
Domino, what's happened to you?
What's gonna happen to you!
Too bad. Not a huge loss.
No!
If you shoot him, I'll quit!
Fine with me. I'll get rid of two losers at once.
And I'll report you to the Parliament for my illegal employment!
I'm gonna regret that.
Domino, go to the truck and wait there for your meatballs!
So, where are these meatb--
Hey!
Call Natan, let him do his church mumbo jumbo shit.
Exorcism on the devil! That's a new one.
Kind of weird, but it worked. He'll be waking up really soon.
You owe me one, Boner. See ya!
Your mama owes me a blow job--
Who dares to remove the curse and cancel my fricking commercial?
That was the only copy!
You!
It won't be the meatballs, but you're about to drop dead anyway!
Sławek?
Dominik?
Long time no see!
-Should I kill them? -No, let them live. They're cool.
We used to be in third grade together, Sławek and I. But I failed.
And I got expelled.
Are you telling me you switched over to the bright side of the force? Well?
-Was it worth it? -It was, to say the truth.
I actually break even every month.
No shit. I don't.
By the way, are you looking for someone to work?
Gotta ask the boss. So? Are we?
The more the merrier.
OK. But first, you start off working for free.
Yes, got a raise already!
And second--
Now you owe me two!
THE END