1 00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:12,376 NETFLIX 剧集 2 00:00:15,876 --> 00:00:19,376 (博格丹博纳 享年45岁) 3 00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:30,459 (安息 莱奥卡迪亚/提奥多亚耶茨) 4 00:00:31,709 --> 00:00:33,959 墓地里的新坟墓 5 00:00:35,959 --> 00:00:37,876 值得盗挖 6 00:00:37,959 --> 00:00:41,709 (特奥菲尔克雷德 享年59岁 却活得非常充实) 7 00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:52,293 我希望最终我能找到自己的鞋码 8 00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:57,293 有点难 因为很少见 左脚是44码 右脚是39码 9 00:00:57,376 --> 00:01:02,626 但如果没找到更好 我们把鞋子跟西装一起卖掉 10 00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:08,043 下午好 11 00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:10,001 跟我想的一样 12 00:01:10,084 --> 00:01:11,584 盗墓恶魔 13 00:01:12,459 --> 00:01:14,543 没子弹了 14 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,126 你! 15 00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:30,501 欧巴斯 搞什么鬼…抱歉那么说…该死 16 00:01:30,584 --> 00:01:33,709 你把死人带这儿来了? 我们只拿衣服的 17 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:38,376 首先你打算什么时候 把15兹罗提还给我 瓦茨克? 18 00:01:38,459 --> 00:01:41,293 多少钱?我是说 那瓶伏特加我喝了四分之一就晕倒了 19 00:01:41,376 --> 00:01:43,876 但我们说好了那瓶一升装的酒 价钱对半分 20 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,793 -其次他没死 -什么? 21 00:01:46,876 --> 00:01:50,209 想象他在棺材里等着我 想要干我 22 00:01:50,293 --> 00:01:52,251 幸运的是 是我干他 23 00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,709 -用我的铁铲拍在他脸上 -我明白了 24 00:01:55,209 --> 00:01:58,876 -好吧 我们该拿他怎么办? -让我想想 25 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:00,834 动手? 26 00:02:00,918 --> 00:02:03,334 等等 一切按计划行事 27 00:02:03,418 --> 00:02:05,043 真他妈是个好计划 28 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,501 -哪个天才想出来的? -我 29 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:09,126 但老板同意了 30 00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:10,626 我想到了! 31 00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,043 -动手? -等等 32 00:02:17,376 --> 00:02:19,543 打得好!等等 把铁锹给我 33 00:02:19,626 --> 00:02:21,709 滚开 自己去找 34 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:24,459 拜托 很难找到活人 35 00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:28,126 操你妈的 36 00:02:28,209 --> 00:02:30,543 你! 37 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:34,418 现在你太过分了 38 00:02:35,668 --> 00:02:38,293 -天啊 你在干什么? -我要杀了你 39 00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:40,376 动手! 40 00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:43,126 你听见没有?动手! 41 00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:52,626 看到了吧?跟你说了管用的 42 00:02:52,709 --> 00:02:56,293 我第一次听你的 也是最后一次 43 00:02:57,209 --> 00:02:59,543 该死 戴着这对角 我看起来像多米诺 44 00:02:59,626 --> 00:03:00,459 没错 45 00:03:00,543 --> 00:03:02,334 除了你没那么帅 46 00:03:02,418 --> 00:03:03,793 现在干什么?自由活动? 47 00:03:03,876 --> 00:03:07,209 不 凯沙沃尔卡大街 方向:墓地 48 00:03:07,293 --> 00:03:09,293 天呐!又是盗墓恶魔? 49 00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:11,126 你有什么好惊讶的?现在是六月 50 00:03:11,209 --> 00:03:15,793 今年我们遭遇了一场不寻常的瘟疫 51 00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:17,709 但无需抱怨 52 00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:20,209 因为每个墓地我们能赚200兹罗提 53 00:03:20,293 --> 00:03:22,376 “我们” 说得好听 见鬼 54 00:03:22,459 --> 00:03:24,834 我上一次拿薪水还是复活节前 55 00:03:24,918 --> 00:03:28,251 也许我出个有趣的小谜题 让你振作起来 56 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:29,918 你更喜欢哪个… 57 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:33,334 失去祖母还是从她那里染上梅毒? 58 00:03:34,209 --> 00:03:35,334 还是两个都喜欢? 59 00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:44,251 (奇皮亚丹塔 她生活简朴 但并不舒适) 60 00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:46,751 我们有什么发现? 61 00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:47,793 姐们儿 62 00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:49,126 等等 63 00:03:49,209 --> 00:03:51,793 真是好运 一颗金牙 64 00:03:51,876 --> 00:03:55,543 我不用拿衣服了 不好意思 女士 65 00:03:56,459 --> 00:03:58,751 在嘴里 第一次尝试 66 00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,251 马上就会痊愈 67 00:04:01,084 --> 00:04:05,751 花50格罗兹 看摔跤联盟的非法转播是值得的 68 00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,418 再见 小姐 69 00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:08,793 跟我无关 70 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,126 该死 71 00:04:12,668 --> 00:04:14,043 真的吗 老板? 72 00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:22,668 波森卡 收拾东西 我们赶紧走 73 00:04:22,751 --> 00:04:25,876 天啊 我杀了一个人 74 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:31,084 你说“赶紧走”是什么意思? 我们刚租了这间公寓 75 00:04:31,168 --> 00:04:34,501 -还提前付了一个月的房租 -我们去其他地方租 76 00:04:34,584 --> 00:04:37,418 要么跟其他盗墓恶魔一样睡桥下 77 00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,709 快点 他们随时会到 78 00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:41,126 哦 不! 79 00:04:41,209 --> 00:04:44,084 我们不能花了1500兹罗提 80 00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,793 然后去桥下睡吧 81 00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:48,459 放轻松 波森卡 我们不会有事的 82 00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:55,001 拿上这些家用电器 83 00:04:55,084 --> 00:04:57,293 让这个傻子自己走 他会回来的 84 00:04:57,376 --> 00:04:59,543 要么脸上淤青 要么被追杀 85 00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:01,834 我这是嫁给谁了啊? 86 00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,376 我妈妈警告过我的 87 00:05:03,459 --> 00:05:06,834 “他开像样的欧宝车 并不代表他是个好人” 88 00:05:06,918 --> 00:05:08,209 所以现在我成了这样 89 00:05:08,293 --> 00:05:12,918 贷款催收人员没收了欧宝车 我还要继续还贷款 90 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:16,001 里西奥奥伯尼克一直在追我 91 00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:18,084 愚蠢的我拒绝了他 因为他是个花花公子 92 00:05:18,168 --> 00:05:21,084 有什么不好的 如果他的钱 和狼人身上的蜱虫一样多? 93 00:05:21,168 --> 00:05:22,959 波森卡 你只会抱怨 94 00:05:23,043 --> 00:05:24,709 看看我偷到了什么 95 00:05:24,793 --> 00:05:26,459 一颗金牙 96 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:28,084 看看这位黄金专家 97 00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:30,793 给我的订婚戒指是用黄铜做的 98 00:05:30,876 --> 00:05:33,043 -那又怎样? -那是颗烂牙 99 00:05:36,209 --> 00:05:37,334 好痛! 100 00:05:37,418 --> 00:05:40,876 天啊 为什么? 101 00:05:41,626 --> 00:05:44,459 多米诺 只是催泪弹 再过几分钟… 102 00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:47,376 妈妈 我不想变成瞎子! 103 00:05:47,459 --> 00:05:50,459 我还有很多小黄片要看 104 00:05:50,543 --> 00:05:54,293 我不好意思承认 但我还没看过《两女一杯》 105 00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,293 多米诺 别开玩笑 106 00:05:56,376 --> 00:05:57,876 我没开玩笑! 107 00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:00,709 天啊 老板 我们送他去医院吧 108 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:04,001 闭嘴 笨蛋 让我想想 109 00:06:04,501 --> 00:06:06,834 停下 别跑! 110 00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:10,376 大家抓小偷! 111 00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:14,584 他们从租住的公寓里偷东西! 112 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,043 跟我来! 113 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:19,959 天啊! 114 00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:21,501 警察! 115 00:06:21,584 --> 00:06:25,959 或是城管 随便吧 国税局的也可以 116 00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:27,376 对 我是非法出租 117 00:06:27,459 --> 00:06:30,959 帮我抓住这些怪人! 118 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:33,751 你把公寓借给恶魔就是这个结果 119 00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,668 只要租客付钱 120 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,334 我不在乎他们是谁 121 00:06:37,418 --> 00:06:39,376 哪怕他靠盗墓赚钱 122 00:06:39,459 --> 00:06:42,501 只要他不偷东西 电视 DVD播放器! 123 00:06:42,584 --> 00:06:44,709 他们连马桶垫都拿走了 124 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:46,376 -他们去哪了? -不知道 125 00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:49,459 如果我知道的话 早就去把他们打出屎了 126 00:06:50,751 --> 00:06:52,709 -下午好 -不 127 00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,584 别再让我看见恶魔了 128 00:06:54,668 --> 00:06:56,959 我不会第四次被金钱诱惑了 129 00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:59,043 除非你提前付两个月的房租 130 00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:02,126 我的钱最多可以租两分钟 131 00:07:02,209 --> 00:07:04,876 前提是我老板预支我薪水 132 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,459 (二手殡葬服饰收集点) 133 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:34,251 沃洛德克 我觉得你比我更蠢 该死! 134 00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:37,209 你该死 给你个骨灰瓮 放你骨灰的地方 135 00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:38,626 真的吗?那给我点毒品 136 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,584 该死 你真的… 137 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,376 好吧 10兹罗提 138 00:07:42,459 --> 00:07:43,668 有点贵 139 00:07:44,209 --> 00:07:45,043 好吧 给你 140 00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:52,293 现在怎么办?我什么感觉都没有 141 00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:54,584 因为你得等一下 再见 142 00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:02,876 你怎么知道他们会来这里? 143 00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,959 你好 我是恶魔 144 00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:08,459 我知道恶魔的习惯 我知道盗墓恶魔在哪里露营 145 00:08:08,543 --> 00:08:10,543 -我们要攻击他们吗? -为什么? 146 00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:14,459 我们收多少钱办多少事 147 00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:17,626 我们等他们跟其他恶魔分开 148 00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:20,668 他们回来了 149 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:24,709 皇族 不喜欢 按照上帝的吩咐住在桥下 150 00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:27,793 租公寓! 151 00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:30,709 拜托 沃洛德克 让我们住几晚 152 00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,959 至少给我们一个纸箱 153 00:08:33,043 --> 00:08:35,876 会很花钱的 154 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,126 我知道 DVD播放器? 155 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,126 还有一台电视 156 00:08:40,209 --> 00:08:44,543 你这个白痴 我们需要电视做什么? 你把插头插哪里?粪坑吗? 157 00:08:44,626 --> 00:08:46,209 -你有粪坑? -当然! 158 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,709 对 粪坑 我们就拉屎在一个坑里 159 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,418 好 博尼菲西说得对 160 00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:52,626 你得为奢侈品买单 161 00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:56,209 -DVD播放器 电视 马桶垫 -成交! 162 00:08:56,293 --> 00:08:59,209 如果你觉得 我会像流浪汉一样生活 你就错了 163 00:08:59,293 --> 00:09:02,126 波森卡 拜托 我们会撑过去的 164 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,834 这个六月还有多长时间?两周? 165 00:09:04,918 --> 00:09:08,168 然后我们就会冬眠 在哪里都无所谓 166 00:09:08,251 --> 00:09:09,876 操 可以在粪坑里 167 00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:11,834 至少在那里不会被蚊子咬 168 00:09:12,376 --> 00:09:13,834 我会后悔的 169 00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,959 你好 切斯劳 好久不见 170 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:20,293 里西奥奥伯尼克 171 00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,793 -嗨 里西奥 -哦 波森卡来了 172 00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:24,209 我的邀请依旧有效 173 00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:27,168 切斯劳 我走了 174 00:09:33,543 --> 00:09:37,084 我要杀了他 我向上帝发誓 我要杀了他 175 00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:41,584 波森卡会后悔的 我会生闷气两周 176 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,251 你看见事发经过了吗?太不幸了 177 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,293 各位 发发慈悲 你能帮我把那个混蛋干掉吗? 178 00:09:47,376 --> 00:09:48,376 该死 切斯劳 179 00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:50,584 朋友就是这么用的 对吧? 180 00:09:50,668 --> 00:09:53,168 你再加台微波炉 我们当然会帮忙 181 00:09:58,501 --> 00:10:00,501 波森卡 操啊! 182 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,251 -好的 现在 打开门 -不 里西奥 183 00:10:05,334 --> 00:10:08,376 我没有乱扔垃圾的习惯 把保险套扔到烟灰缸里 184 00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:12,293 波森卡 你疯了吗? 什么安全套?到时还可以用 185 00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:15,626 -你滚出去 -混蛋!烂人! 186 00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:17,043 混蛋! 187 00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:21,543 三比零 188 00:10:21,626 --> 00:10:23,501 好吧 今天就到此为止吧 189 00:10:23,584 --> 00:10:25,668 该去吃点东西了 190 00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:31,793 怎么了? 191 00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:33,751 我刚加过油 192 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,251 加油站有时候也会没油 193 00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:39,459 如果你想把酒喝光 194 00:10:39,543 --> 00:10:42,793 你得先把塞子拔掉 195 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:46,126 -什么? -如果你和别人的妻子乱搞 196 00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:48,126 就必须承担后果 197 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:51,001 切斯劳 少来了 什么“跟老婆乱搞”? 198 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:54,584 我根本不喜欢 我就是好玩 199 00:10:54,668 --> 00:10:57,084 拜托 你嫉妒这个老太婆吗? 200 00:10:57,168 --> 00:10:58,709 看看她 201 00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:01,209 你知道什么是爱情吗? 202 00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:05,543 天啊 太美了 我太感动了 203 00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:07,459 我总有一天要跟马丽奥卡说这番话 204 00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:09,793 是啊 瑞西奥奥波尼克口才很好 205 00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:12,709 小心 这样就没人会用干草叉杀你了 206 00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:14,459 而且你怎么买得起宝马车? 207 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:17,293 宝马车很快就会有的 208 00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:24,626 或者不是很快 209 00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:25,543 (剧终) 210 00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:27,584 执业近三百年的驱魔师 211 00:11:27,668 --> 00:11:30,834 其实只有两百年 想要开发票得加钱 212 00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:33,709 小心点 恶魔统领 你要挨揍了 213 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:36,751 小心点 魔族元帅 他瞄准你了 214 00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:42,501 字幕翻译:樊燕妃