NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
THE ANGEL WINGS
Ready. What now?
Look, Remas, in order to get to hell, people need to sin,
and me as the Lord of the Kingdom of Darkness
have to set an example and sin all the time.
An evil deed can be a rape, for instance.
Oh, damn. What is your wickedness planning to do?
Self-abuse! I'll go hard against myself.
-So what's that camera for? -Why won't we make money on it?
So many perverts would pay for such a tape.
Fuck off, I don't have time.
Boner? This exorcist is your old man?
Yeah, right.
I'm telling you. Why do you think I'm growing up so fast?
I'm not even one year old and I look like a man.
I guess it makes sense.
Apparently for the devil-human crossover time runs 20 times faster.
You see? Just don't tell anyone. I'd be screwed down in hell.
Come on, Roman. Give up my own buddy?
Never in my life! And surely not for free.
You dick, how could you turn me in?! I thought we were friends!
Of course, we are, I'm not mad at you.
Exactly the opposite. Twenty bucks don't grow on trees.
Raus!
Come in!
Boss, I've got news...
-Son of a bitch. Start with the bad one. -Both are good.
Seriously? So what are you waiting for?!
This Bober dude has a son and we know where he is.
What are you talking about?!
Let's kidnap him and use as bait. What's the other one?
-We've got him. -What?!
Shit's about to fly!
It's the devil, isn't it?
Actually half devil, half human.
It turns out that Bomber inseminated one of the devil women.
Uh-huh... never mind. What matters is that it's a son.
Since we've got the camera set up, let's make a video
and send it to his old man.
Too bad I don't have another tape.
That self-abuse shit didn't work out anyway. I started to like it.
Let's record it over that one.
Two medium orders.
For me one Boryna Toi Toi with pepperoni,
for Domino Boryna in Baltic with pineapple
and a large Meat Tsunami for the boss...
Yes, with extra.
Thanks, see ya.
Fuckin' awesome.
Let's play PS2!
We're not gonna eat it hot, let's wait till it gets cold.
When you're playing FIFA, nothing tastes better than a cold pizza.
You're right about that. Except for one thing.
-What? -Pineapple on pizza?
It's like herpes on your cock.
Herpes or no herpes, I'd never put it into my mouth.
Never again I'll eat this kids' stuff.
One thing is sure.
Fried potato wedges, onions and sausages – that's real food.
So fast? That's what you call express delivery!
Why are you so happy? You need to give a tip.
A package for Mr. Bogdan Boren.
-Pizza? -No, a package.
-Did you order something? -Why would I order anything?
I got a liquor store open 24/7 across the street.
Open it up!
It's a tape.
Hell, yeah!
-Hold on! -What is it?
Nothing. Sorry, I thought I forgot to press record again.
You can speak now.
Hell, yeah!
So, exorcist Bonker, got a surprise for you!
Do you recognize him?
Correct, it's your bastard son.
Now listen carefully. I won't say it the third time.
The first time Remas didn't push the record button.
You'll do what I say, or...
Oops, sorry, I wanted to get Remas.
Too bad. The kid's gonna die, anyway!
First things first.
It was a mere misunderstanding that got me expelled to Hell a long time ago.
Turned out alright for me. I became the king of Hell,
but I cut my wings off in anger and threw them to the dumpster.
You can figure it out just by looking at me. I can afford it.
So, since I got a bit overweight,
and it's harder for me nowadays to move around,
I've come up with a solution.
You're going to bring me a real angel down here.
I'll have his airfoils amputated and sewed them onto my back.
In exchange, I'll spare your boy's life and let you both go free.
Anyway, you'll be good to go.
You've got time till Friday. I'm having a BBQ over the weekend.
Turn it off, Remas.
Wait a minute.
That will do it.
Marcinek, turn it off before it's too late.
Phew, that was close.
What you wanna do? We should help. It's your son after all.
Why don't you shut up after all.
Fine, I'll give him a chance.
If it's heads, I'll help.
If it's the other one, let his mother worry.
Fuck...
Authorized service station...
What are we doing here?
I thought it's better to go to church to look for an angel.
Don't make me laugh. A church?
It all depends on the priest. One out of two is bad.
Angels only show up in wonderful places.
We can be 100% sure in here.
You're right. One is actually flying over here.
That's an angel? I thought they were prettier.
As pretty as they come.
You know what to do...
We do.
They say you can't chose your father or mother,
but I don't listen to gossip.
So you're as guilty as him.
Let's have some fun while we're waiting for your dad.
-How much longer, Remas? -He's head is crooked.
OK, it's up.
Just like Benny Hill in Men in tights.
You saw that? Got him the first time.
Wait, I was aiming for the apple.
Is he OK?
He's only pretending...
Shit...
Oh, Jesus, it's really nice to see this level of service
for such a low amount of money.
In any case, if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Help! It's the devil!
Devil?
Help! Go away, unclean spirit!
Unclean? I take a bath on Saturday. Almost every week!
Hands up, deepshit!
-Angel? -Angel Guard to be exact.
I work as a security guard at a parking lot.
You need security guards in heaven?
-There are actually car thiefs up there? -Oh, yeah, there are!
We got him!
OK, move your arms.
Not bad... this could actually work.
-Boss, that piece of shit is here. -What? My wife?
No, it's Boner.
-Did he bring the angel? -Yes, he did.
Why are you standing like the morning wood? Bring him here!
My precious wings, just wait to see them, Remas!
We searched him. No weapons.
Bogdan Boner! Here we meet again.
Luckily for you, this time you've brought an angel.
I hope you'll respect our agreement and you'll give me back my son.
Relax. My word is worth more than money.
Like in hip hop.
Wait a minute. He's...
...completely wasted!
Oh, yeah, wasted.
My blood.
OK, kid, we're out of here.
Hold on. He ain't breathing.
You killed him.
OK, Zenek, plan B!
Shit, they're in it together!
Why didn't you check the angel?
Fire!
Watch out, don't make holes in the wings!
Zenek, I'm not armed. I need one of your guns.
I can't give you one. What about a bazooka?
You're mentioning it now? Give it to me!
If you really think you can defeat the jack of all evil
with some panzerfaust--
You may be right, but I'm not gonna give up easily!
My prince, it's not safe here.
To the shelter, quickly!
The Guard of Darkness are gonna handle it.
No more ammo.
We're dead.
Run, I'll stop them!
You're gonna die, Zenon!
No worries, Bogdan.
Angels have a dozen lives and I only live my twelfth!
God bless America.
We shall meet again, exorcist.
THE END