A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
[theme music playing]
[club music playing]
LUCKY DAY
[sighs] Geez, this is some really good shit.
-And another round for everyone! -[all cheering]
Wacek is the fucking guy!
Yeah! Anyone else who won 8,000 zloty playing the slots
would've spent it on beer for themselves. But not Wacław.
He bought a round for everyone.
Cheers to Wacław!
-Wacek, sir! -[all cheering]
[sighs]
Wacek, sir! Wacek, sir!
You are the man!
Whoa. Pardon me.
No problem at all.
Really, please, sir, can you forgive me?
Ah, no, my man, it's really no problem at all.
[snoring] No problem at all…
No problem at all.
[mumbling]
[snoring]
A second round on me! Fifth time!
For everyone! How much?
Same as before. 120.
Oh well, my funds are dried up.
[people booing]
Hold on a moment. Don't whine and complain.
We're not going home yet.
If I won once, how hard would it be to win one more time?
So today is gonna be my lucky day, gentleman.
Nah, he won't win again. How many times can he win?
[shushing]
[coin clinking]
[chiming]
-[dinging] -[fanfare playing]
[coins clinking]
-[cheering] -Oh, yeah, yeah!
The son of a gun won! I told you he'd win.
-No, you said he wouldn't win at all. -Oh, shut up, fucker. Let's drink.
Another round for everyone. Third round for the sixth time!
-[male voice] Not so fast! -[people gasp]
Despair to the one who hits the jackpot!
Excuse me, sir. I won fair and square.
You can't win with my machines, motherfucker,
and definitely not if you're playing fair!
I'll tear your stupid legs off!
[screaming in pain]
Hey, so how about that third round?
-[grunts] -What the hell did you do to my legs?
How am I going to sit at the bar comfortably?
When I'm done with your body, you will be shitting yourself at the bar.
In pain!
[screaming in pain]
But… [grunts]
MINI LAS VEGAS LOW-PAYOUT SLOT MACHINES
That's right. It's the replica of the sword from Kill Bill.
Made in China.
But you're lucky.
To die by this sword is an honor.
No, no, wait, please. Please, you can't do this to me.
After all, this happens to be my lucky day!
[grunting] This is my lucky day.
This is my lucky day. [grunts]
-[woman] I'll show you a lucky day! -Err…
Are you wasted again?
Danusia? You were supposed to be working the night shift.
Fine, okay, okay, I'm gonna vacuum. Just don't hit me!
[grunts]
What's up with these legs of mine?
And it turns out that after I woke up from my dream
I couldn't feel my legs.
And since that dream, this booze fiend can't even fucking walk.
The doctor said it's some kind of paralysis,
but he couldn't tell us the reason.
And priests do what priests will do.
Took a donation, bitched and whined that it wasn't enough,
said a prayer, but you know, it didn't even fucking help.
Let me tell ya. It's not good.
Your nightly dreams are being haunted by a banshee.
Or, more appropriately, a manshee, since you say it was a "he," right?
-Will I walk again? -Walk?
Oh, my man, you'll be lucky to come out of this alive.
A manshee is one of the most terrible evil demons.
And he will never ever let you go.
With every dream you have,
the demon will get more and more threatening and dangerous.
What he does to you in your dreams, you will also experience in real life.
Think of what happens if he rips your head clean off while you sleep.
My head? Whatever. I'm worried about my freakin' dick.
Alrighty then, I'll try to help you.
But I have to warn you, it's not gonna be cheap.
And if you want an invoice, it'll cost you even more!
[Marcin] Boss, what are we doing in a haunted forest?
Do we have a death wish?
Plus, on the way in, I saw a board that said "wildlife sanctuary"
so we might get a fine as well.
[Boner] If we want to defeat him,
we have to induce a shared dream with Wacław.
[Marcin] Get drunk together.
Is there no other way?
Of course there is. There are many.
But none of them are really quite as enjoyable.
We are going to need to get our hands on a very special kind of alcohol,
the so-called "Call of the Dark Woods."
And the real deal, not that redneck-made stuff.
This is made by demons referred to as the dark woods devils.
Thank you, no, I'm good.
I plan to see you at your funeral.
Domino, what's up with you?
Hey, that's great. One less idiot to split the money with.
Boss, you don't even pay Domino.
What a dumb idea. A wood devil.
They are fucking nuts.
[eerie squealing]
It's too late.
Boss, boss, there they are!
Shut your face right now or I will shut it for you.
Though I don't have a gag on me, so I've gotta use your balls.
-Oh crap, there's two of them. We are so… -Lucky?
We are just so completely fucked, but we really have no choice.
We better observe them for a while.
[ominous music playing]
What's up, ya fuck-knuckle?
Nothing, piece of loose stool!
You're going around the forest saying my moonshine is bad?
How do you even know when I drink it alone,
and don't share it with anyone.
I know because it's made by you!
Oh, you piece of shit!
If my moonshine is so crappy,
yours can't be any better.
We are brothers, after all.
Twins, even. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah. It's not about the taste, you asshole,
but about getting wasted.
That's right. Cheers!
[gulping, sighing]
[sighs]
I'll kill you!
[demonic squeal]
[tree creaking]
[demonic squeal]
This is our chance. Grab one. I'll grab the other one.
Let's get the fuck out of here!
[demonic squeals]
[grunting]
Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wait up, Łukasz!
-What's up? -[laughs]
Some moron is trying to steal your piss.
Mine? What do you mean? That's your moonshine the guy is stealing.
Oh crap, you're right. Leave that piss!
[laughs] Loser.
Why, you! You're done for!
Even if I can't catch you, you'll die after you drink more than a glass of that!
[panting] Boss, we won't outrun them.
-They're twice as fast as us. -And three times dumber!
[laughs]
Only an idiot would want to steal that crap of yours.
Just like your old chick.
[laughs] Your chick's a hag!
Wait. What did you call my mom?
-I'll kill you! -[punching]
Top marks and kudos all around. Congrats, everybody.
We can all make our way back to Wacław.
[man] Walking around a wildlife sanctuary, huh?
That will be a ticket for each of you.
Unless we can figure something out.
Um, hey, sure. No problem. We can figure something out.
Let's get out of here!
Bogdan Boner, is there really no other way than getting drunk on alcohol?
Please, Danusia. Ma'am, believe me, there is no other way.
Plus, you know, even the Bible, it says somewhere that:
"You always overcome evil with good."
All right. Does everyone remember our great detailed plan?
Yeah, we drink a cup of this stuff, and then we'll wait and see what happens.
Yeah, that's right.
Everybody ready? Down the hatch, everyone.
[gags, grunts]
[grunts]
Smooth. [grunts]
[indistinct chatter]
-Where the heck are we? -We're at the Brain Reset Bar.
Fucking perfect!
Not only did we get drunk in real life,
we're doing it again in the dream and Wacuś here is paying for all of it!
-You expect me to pay in the dream too? -Like I should?
Keep your chin up!
So you're gonna lose some money, but your life would be saved.
Plus, I bet you know how to hack the slot machine in this dream, dontcha?
What if that evil whack job comes back here?
Isn't that the whole reason why we're here?
-[indistinct chatter] -[chair scraping on floor]
So go ahead.
[in Polish] ♪ Exorcist for less than three hundred ♪
♪ Actually, it's two hundred If you want a bill, it'll cost you more ♪
♪ Watch it, Beelzebutt You're gonna get your ass kicked ♪
♪ Watch it, Buttcifer He's aiming at you ♪
[chiming]
[continues chiming]
[thuds]
[dinging]
What's wrong with it?
Is it broken?
-[manshee] Fixed, more like it! -[people gasp]
Nobody is going to or will ever, pardon my French, fuck me over!
[frantic music playing]
Move it, now!
Howdy, stranger.
[laughing]
[grunting laugh, farts]
What in the fuck are you laughing about?
Well, I have some friends too.
[grunts] Okay, now!
[foreboding music playing]
[laughs]
Put your hands up!
One false move and I will order them to shoot you.
That's right. Those morons will do anything I tell them to do.
[laughs]
They absolutely will stop at nothing.
I say "shoot," they shoot.
I say "give up," they give up.
If I tell them to eat some shit, they will!
Dad, aren't you getting carried away?
[dramatic music plays]
They will eat shit and ask for seconds.
Enough.
Ouch! You little shit! Kamil!
And the other guy, I don't know the name of.
Kill him!
As a punishment, you will sleep in the latrine.
We sleep in the latrine every night.
Well, you are gonna…
sleep down in the latrine hole.
[whispering indistinctly]
[dramatic music plays]
[bangs]
-We got you. Let's go! -[people clamoring]
[crackling]
[chiming]
-[dinging] -[fanfare playing]
[coins clinking]
Today is the luckiest day I've ever had, everybody.
-A round for everyone! -[cheering]
[laughing]
We are going to get so wasted, Szczepan.
-Finally! -Yeah! [laughs]
So, man, um…
Actually, what is your name?
I dunno.
Quick, to the bar!
[grunts]
Ouch.
Oh, I sincerely apologize.
[laughs] No problem at all, friend.
No, asshole, it's really no problem at all.
THE END
[in Polish] ♪ Exorcist for less than three hundred ♪
♪ Actually, it's two hundred If you want a bill, it'll cost you more ♪
♪ Watch it, Beelzebutt You're gonna get your ass kicked ♪
♪ Watch it, Buttcifer He's aiming at you ♪
[malevolent laugh]