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SEBUAH SIRI NETFLIX

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PENGHALAU HANTU 2050

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Cepat!

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Tolong cepat!

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MAKS: "BILA AWAK AKAN SAMPAI?"

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JAWAPAN: "DALAM PERJALANAN"

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MAKS: "CEPAT, KAWAN"

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JAWAPAN: "SEKEJAP. TUNGGU SOSEJ."

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Dia menyorok di sini.

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Awak boleh bau, Luki?

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Itulah bau ketakutan.

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Entah, Mateo.
Bagi saya, ia bau kentut biasa.

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Sebenarnya, kedua-dua bau itu sama.

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Baik, awak periksa bilik,
saya akan periksa dapur.

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Lebih mudah jika ada cahaya.

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Kenapalah awak pecahkan semua lampu?

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Pertama sekali, saya suka kesannya.

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Kedua, bangsat itu
akan belajar jimat elektrik.

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- Saya jumpa awak, bangsat!
- Tak!

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Jeritlah, tapi awak tetap akan mati.

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Apa?

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Mateo, si lokek.
Awak mahu pijak hologram itu!

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Ia dipaparkan di udara, tolol.

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Ya, betul. Awaklah "homogram" itu.

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Awak dan kepercayaan karut
saintifik awak. Ia hanya sihir.

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Oh!

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Tak mengapa.

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Luki, saya akan pegang dia,
awak pancung kepala dia guna parang.

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Baik!

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Apa?

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Sial, Mateo. Ia pisau yang hebat.

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Awak!

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Mungkin pisau awak hebat,
tapi awak tak boleh lawan parang saya…

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Bos, dah selesai.

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Lebih mudah daripada sangkaan saya.

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Bagus.

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Ambil bayaran dan kembali ke pangkalan.

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- Ada kerja lain.
- Baik, tuan.

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Mari kira.

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Menghapus syaitan di apartmen
dan menyelamat orang.

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Jadi, tiga ratus.

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Mahal. Saya tak sangka
nilai saya sebanyak itu.

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Hapus syaitan, 300.

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Menyelamatkan nyawa percuma, ia bonus.

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Jika tak perlu bil, ia lebih murah?

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Maaf, kami tak buat benda macam itu.

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<i>B-3.</i>

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RUMAH PERSARAAN
TUA TAPI HEBAT

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<i>A-4.</i>

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BIGNO

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C-2.

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Tiada apa? Mari terus mencabut.

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- B-2.
- Bingo!

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Bingo! Awak pernah tengok, Boner?

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Itulah cara awak main!

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Kita ada pemenang.
Natan menang sekali lagi.

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Hadiah untuk pusingan ini
ialah botol air kencing.

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Bagus! Saya baru mahu ke tandas,
tapi rupanya tak perlu pergi.

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ASLI - MURAH DAN SEDAP
KINI BERPERISA

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Bos, selamat.

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Bogdan Boner.

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Saya harap arak itu
tak melemahkan otak awak

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dan awak kenal "kawan" lama awak.

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Sial…

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Mungkin awak tertanya,

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kenapa saya tak bunuh awak selama ini.

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Pietro, tutup telinga awak.

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Saya malu mahu mengaku,
tapi awak terlalu pandai untuk itu.

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Tapi sekarang…
Pietro, awak dah boleh dengar.

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Pietro, telinga!

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Pietro!

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Bodoh betul.

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Apa? Dah boleh dengar?

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Tapi sekarang apabila awak tua dan lemah,
semuanya menjadi sangat mudah.

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Untuk mengenang hubungan lama kita,
saya bawa hadiah kecil untuk awak.

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Betul itu. Bom masa!

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Pietro akan letak di bawah punggung awak.

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Baiklah, gembira berkenalan dengan awak,
tapi ini masanya untuk letupkan muka awak.

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Masa untuk saya pergi.
Jumpa awak di neraka! Selamat tinggal.

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<i>Ikat kaki dan lengan</i>
<i>Guna pengikat kabel</i>

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<i>Supaya awak tak terlepas</i>
<i>Dari kerusi roda</i>

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Sekarang, sumbat mulut awak
supaya awak tak menjerit minta bantuan.

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Akhirnya, bom masa
ditetapkan selama 30 saat.

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Bermula sekarang.

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Selamat tinggal, penghalau hantu.

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Selamat tinggal, legenda.

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Ia satu penghormatan.

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Sial, 20 saat!
Saya akan ke neraka. Jumpa lagi!

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A-1.

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Saya tak dengar apa-apa.

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B-4.

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Sangat hebat, ia sangat mengujakan!

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Saya hampir menang.

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Alangkah bagus
jika saya tinggal di sini lebih awal.

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Seronok di sini.

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- C-1.
- Ya Tuhan, bi…

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Boner, awak gila!
Awak buat apa? Saya dapat bingo!

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Apa? Ya Tuhan, ia bom!

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PEMBUANGAN KUMBAHAN
517 517 517 517

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Nasib baik.

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- Apa?
- Jahanam!

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Pengikat kabel.

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Nasib baik saya masih simpan
pisau belati patung salib saya.

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VODKA YANG ENAK

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Ia satu keajaiban,
awak tidak mati disebabkan arak.

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AGENSI PENGHALAU HANTU/
SYARIKAT PEMBINAAN BONER

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Bagaimana?

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Letak dia di tong kitar semula
tapi keluarkan bateri atom.

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Ia lebih mahal daripada gaji awak.

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Dan gaji awak tinggi.

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Syaitan siber.

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Mereka cipta segalanya di neraka.

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- Mustahil.
- Kenapa?

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Ada orang hantar fail MP3 melalui GG.

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- Melalui apa?
- Siapa guna Gadu-Gadu pada tahun 2050?

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Sial, adakah Mieszko I
mahu menghubungi saya?

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Jangan buka, ia mungkin perangkap.

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Trojan atau lebih teruk.

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Bertenang, mungkin saya tak menunjuk
tapi saya mampu beli antivirus.

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<i>Bangsat, ini Bogdan Boner.</i>

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<i>Beelzebutt tahu</i>
<i>tentang rumah persaraan saya.</i>

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<i>Saya terselamat daripada serangan pertama.</i>

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<i>Tapi saya rasa ia belum berakhir.</i>

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<i>Saya perlu bantuan awak berdua.</i>

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<i>Saya di Rumah Persaraan Tua Tapi Hebat.</i>

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<i>Tolong saya. Ingat, awak berdua</i>
<i>terhutang budi dengan saya. Saya menunggu.</i>

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Alamak, masalah makin bertambah.

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Sekarang habiskan satu jam setengah
atas bas dari Marikh ke Bumi.

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"Terhutang budi", sial.

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Saya terhutang budi
sebab gigi depan saya patah.

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Saya sekat dia dan masalah selesai.

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- Sekejap, bos.
- Apa?

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Macam tak bagus kita abaikan dia.

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Bagaimana jika kita perlu bantuan
apabila kita tua?

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Saya akan menyesal.

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<i>Perhatian, virus dikesan!</i>

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<i>Untuk menghapuskan virus,</i>
<i>beli pakej premium…</i>

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KAKITANGAN SAHAJA

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BILIK DOBI

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Saya pandang rendah awak, orang tua.

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Entah apa awak buat, tapi awak terlepas,

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tapi ia tak akan semudah itu kali ini.

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Saya sendiri akan pastikan
hukuman mati itu berjalan lancar.

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Ya Tuhan, saya sesak nafas.

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Tengok.

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Bom plasma!

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Apabila meletup, ia menjana suhu,

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yang mampu membunuh dewa.

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Macam saya, contohnya.
Tapi malangnya bagi awak,

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awak akan pegang mainan ini
apabila ia meletup.

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Maafkan saya, Tuanku yang kejam,

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tapi kita perlu cepat.

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Diamlah, bangsat.

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Terpulang kepada saya
jika kita mahu cepat atau lambat.

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Cepat pasang bom itu.

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- Dah siap. Ia akan meletup.
- Bagus.

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Rakam guna telefon awak. Saya mahu ingat.

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Apa itu? Siapa datang?

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BAS MURAH - 29,99 ZLOTY
BUMI-MARIKH

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Terima kasih, selamat tinggal.

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Mengada-ngada.

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Hentian bas dekat, tapi tak mahu jalan.

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"Mendarat atau saya tumbuk awak."

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Lama tak jumpa, En. Bogdan. Sekejap.

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Kenapa awak diikat?

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Kenapa awak memiliki bom masa ini?

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Sial, Marcin, ia satu perangkap!

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Sial, kenapa datang sekarang?
Pietro, uruskan masalah ini.

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Jangan sentuh bom. Ia milik awak?

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Bos, buat kerja, saya akan uruskan dia.

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Bangsat. Ya Tuhan, sekejap.

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Semuanya saya kena buat sendiri!

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Pulangkan bom itu!

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Sekarang apa, bangsat?

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Domino, tak!

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Alamak! Bukan salah saya! Selamat tinggal!

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Saya lega semuanya berakhir dengan baik.

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Sama-sama. Bayarannya 30,000.

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- Berapa?
- Sebab saya beri bil.

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Termasuk gaji tertunggak.

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Dengan faedah.

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Itu sebabnya saya fikir
gaji perlu dibayar tepat pada masanya.

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Betul itu.

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Awak tak bayar saya,

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tapi saya suka ia dibayar
tepat pada masanya.

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BIR METROPOLITAN

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Apa? Awak cakap apa? Maaf, saya tidur.

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Saya dengar sampai Maks menaip sesuatu.

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- Pelik.
- Apa berlaku?

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Mieszko I hantar fail audio.

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00:11:03,584 --> 00:11:06,293
Saya sangka dah lama dia mati.

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<i>Tuan Boner, cepat!</i>

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<i>Saya tak boleh hurai panjang lebar!</i>
<i>Kita dalam kancah ketandusan!</i>

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<i>Seorang utusan</i>
<i>akan sampaikan berita kepada awak.</i>

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<i>Saya tunggu awak di Gniezno.</i>

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00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:19,543
<i>Salam!</i>

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00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:27,251
Tunggu apa, bodoh?

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00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:30,209
Masuklah mesin masa.
Berkhidmat untuk tanah air.

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TAMAT

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<i>Penghalau hantu kurang tiga ratus</i>

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<i>Sebenarnya, dua ratus</i>
<i>Jika mahu bil, bayarlah lebih</i>

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<i>Jaga-jaga, Beelzebutt</i>
<i>Awak akan dibelasah</i>

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<i>Jaga-jaga, Buttcifer</i>
<i>Dia menyasarkan awak</i>

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Terjemahan sari kata oleh
Zarifah Kamarulhisham