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A NETFLIX SERIES
2
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Oh no. My religion
doesn't allow me to get in the cesspool.
3
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What's your religion, Domino?
4
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None. Besides, I threw it just fine.
5
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You're the one who can't catch, boss.
6
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Refusing to carry out an order?
7
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Then say goodbye to your bonus.
8
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Two minuses make a plus.
9
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-Hello?
-If it's Marcin, say hi.
10
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In a hospital?
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Goodness, what happened?
12
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What? Poisoned?
13
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He had it coming.
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I told him so many times
that a vegetarian diet is for vegetarians.
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People die from it.
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-Okay, I'm coming.
-Marcin's in a hospital?
17
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Worse. It's my old man.
18
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You have an old man?
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It's tautology.
The old man has an old man.
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Shut up and take out these keys.
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Oh no, not… No!
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Got them!
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Dad?
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Boguś, my only son. You're here.
25
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I'm not your only son.
There's also Stefan.
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Don't even remind me
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about that educated pansy.
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He should be called Flaccid,
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not Boner.
30
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Got booze?
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Dad, come on.
I wouldn't have come without it.
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In that case,
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you know what to do.
34
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Dad, if God knows who poisoned you
with God knows what,
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then booze may not be the best solution.
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Stefan!
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That's what I needed.
Just like the old days.
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-Remember, Boguś?
-Not really.
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I remember it
as if it was some 30 years ago.
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Maybe because it was 30 years ago.
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I'd been showing you the ropes
since you were young.
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And you'd been soaking up
the knowledge like a spongiot,
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a combination of a sponge
and an idiot, so not very well.
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Boguś, pour the booze
into your mouth like it was a urinal.
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Jesus!
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Fourth bottle?
Dad, I think you've had enough.
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Do as I say, you little shit.
It's the only way to chase out the demons!
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Can't argue with idiots and Dad.
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FLYPAPER
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He's exceeded the lethal dose for sure.
Cipek, we're done here.
51
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Now, kid!
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Oh no. I've wasted so much fuel.
I'm sober again.
53
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Don't open the windows.
I'll inhale vapors.
54
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Then I realized that not all demons
had left their hiding place.
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There was one more left.
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The most dangerous one
was lurking like a toad
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and waiting for you
to free me, or rather him.
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When you cut the rope,
it was too late to save me.
59
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And it's a tie!
You won't shoot your old man, huh?
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He shot. Are you fucking nuts?
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I need to leave this body,
or I'll die with him.
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Jump!
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Phew, I made it.
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Luckily, it turned out
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you shoot like you acquire knowledge.
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You missed from ten centimeters.
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Then I realized that there's hope for you
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if we survived.
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We'll be safe here.
70
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Unfortunately, we both died.
71
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You know what to do.
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-But…
-Sit down!
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I'd rather die.
74
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No, wait. We couldn't have died,
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or we wouldn't meet
30 years later in the hospital.
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I got it all mixed-up.
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I must've been lying drunk in bed,
and it was just a dream.
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Here you are, you twit.
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I didn't divorce him
and take away his custody
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so that you can hang out
with this drunkard.
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What drunkard, Mom?
82
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Dad's sleeping
because he's tired of unemployment.
83
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You have a new, better dad now,
so forget about this bum.
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LAME SPORT II
85
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A GHOST FROM THE BASEMENT
86
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This is him
87
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Passes out at every party
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-Dad?
-No, a fucking draft.
89
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Will you help your dad?
90
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What do I do?
91
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First, help me
get these wheels in the van.
92
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I'll fill you in on the way.
93
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-Where are we going, Dad?
-To do what needs to be done.
94
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You were too young,
95
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and my hangover was too big
to get into details.
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But the '90s in Poland
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were the golden years for organized crime.
98
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Mobsters, gangs, extortion, kidnappings,
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counterfeit fuel, prostitution.
100
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In a word, a criminal El Dorado.
101
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Pershing was the most powerful,
officially.
102
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Pershing was actually following
the orders of Belzedup,
103
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who shacked up in his palace in Pruszków
104
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and enjoyed ruling
the Polish underworld so much
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that he decided to stay here.
106
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And he would have, but he stepped
on the wrong person's toe.
107
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Your choice. Either you'll pay
for protection each month,
108
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or we'll burn this shithole down.
109
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You also have a choice,
fuck off or piss off.
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You…
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HOT SANDWICHES
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That time, he crossed the line.
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Damn, nice crib.
114
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I thought my stepdad was rich,
but this guy's like Rydzyk.
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Not for long.
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HOLY WATER WHOLESALER
HALLELUJAH
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-Who's there?
-Open up, Natanek, you twit.
118
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Don't you recognize my car?
119
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How's it going?
120
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Hard. I understand 100 liters.
Or 200 for blessing the fields.
121
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But who orders a whole tank?
122
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I can't do it anymore.
My hand will fall off.
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Bless!
124
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Dad, can't you bless
the whole tank at once?
125
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No, it'd be too diluted.
126
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It has to be 98% like rectified spirit.
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The dimwit didn't know.
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Yo mama's a dimwit!
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Ouch!
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No time to play.
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We have a master of darkness to defeat.
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Another pretty day for doing evil
133
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But first, a morning bath in milk
Like a fat cat
134
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I mean shower so it's faster
135
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Yes, you remember correctly.
136
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We replaced his milk tank
with a tank full of holy water.
137
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And then, things went down
like at a good party.
138
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Well, maybe I didn't get laid
139
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and wasn't arrested
for destroying property.
140
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But the thing is,
the situation was dynamic.
141
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Fucking hell, what is it? It's burning!
142
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Damn, it's…
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Holy water!
144
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It's you again!
145
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You wanted money for my hot sandwiches.
146
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Now you're going to be
a hot sandwich for the rest of your life.
147
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I'll have my revenge! You hear me? I will!
148
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Even if it's in 30 years,
when you're old and decrepit.
149
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Now, kid!
150
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It burns!
151
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Okay, it's not safe here.
I'm going back to hell. Bye!
152
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:21,834
Just stay calm, gentlemen.
153
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Calm? Man, he's finally out of my crib.
154
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I'm going to be the boss now!
155
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We need to celebrate,
preferably in Zakopane.
156
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Follow me, Mielonka.
It's time for a party!
157
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Since then, Belzedup
has had red, burnt skin
158
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and doesn't leave hell.
159
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But I'm afraid that after 30 years,
he's fulfilled his promise,
160
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and I'm here because of him.
161
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What? Oh, sorry, Dad, I wasn't listening.
162
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I spaced out when you got to sponge.
163
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Did you say something after that?
164
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Dad?
165
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Dad?
166
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Damn.
167
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He didn't want to pay for protection,
he got a fritter…
168
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,543
And it rhymes with a shitter.
169
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But it makes no sense.
170
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The point is, yeah,
I poisoned your old man
171
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as I promised him.
172
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You can order two caskets.
173
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Because you're next,
Stinkercist Bummer. Bye!
174
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We'll meet again, Belzedup!
175
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Hello? Marcinek? Okay.
I'll pay for your fucking social security.
176
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THE END
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Exorcist for less than 300
178
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Actually, it's 200
If you want a bill, it'll cost you more
179
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,418
Watch it, Belzedup
You're gonna get your ass kicked
180
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Watch it, Dupcyper
He's aiming at you
181
00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:14,043
Subtitle translation by: Agnieszka Żurek