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NETFLIX 影集

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糟糕，我的信仰不允許我進污水池

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劇名：父親

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達米樂，你信什麼宗教？

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無教

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不過我其實丟得很好

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是你沒抓到鑰匙，老大

8
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拒絕服從命令？

9
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那就跟你的獎金道別吧

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剛好負負得正！

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-你好？
-如果是馬辛，幫我打個招呼

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在醫院？

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天啊，怎麼回事？

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什麼？中毒？

15
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那是他自找的

16
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我跟他說過好多次
吃素食只適合素食主義者

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甚至有人因此而死

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-好，我馬上過去
-馬辛在醫院嗎？

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更糟，是我家老頭

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你家有老頭子嗎？

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好像在繞口令，老頭的家裡有老頭

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閉嘴，把鑰匙拿出來

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我才不要…不！

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找到了！

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（醫院）

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爸？

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波格登，我唯一的兒子

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你來了

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我不是你唯一的兒子，還有斯特凡

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別在我面前提起那個娘娘腔書呆子

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他應該改名叫軟趴趴

32
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沒資格姓勃納

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你有酒嗎？

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爸，拜託

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我怎麼可能會不帶就過來

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既然如此

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你知道該怎麼做

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爸，如果有個狠心的傢伙

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如此狠心的對你下了狠毒

40
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酒精可能不是解藥

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斯特凡！

42
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這就是我需要的

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就像以前一樣

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-波格登，你記得嗎？
-不太清楚

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我仍記憶猶新

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就像是30年前發生的事情一樣

47
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也許正是30年前發生的事

48
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你小時候，我就時常
讓你欣賞我的繩子技法

49
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你就像海綿一樣吸取知識

50
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不過海綿配上笨蛋

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成效不彰

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波格登，把酒倒進我嘴裡

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要像小便一樣瞄準

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該死

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第四瓶？爸，我覺得你喝太多了

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照我說的做，你這小混蛋

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這是驅趕惡魔的唯一方法！

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沒人能吵贏笨蛋跟老爸

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他肯定喝過量了

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西佩克，我們到此為止吧

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兒子，趁現在！

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糟糕，我浪費了好多燃料

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我酒醒了

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別開窗戶，我要吸收殘留的酒氣

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那時我才發現

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不是所有惡魔都已離開藏身之處

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還有一隻在我體內

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最危險的惡魔，像蟾蜍一樣潛伏著

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等待你放開我，而不是他

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當你切斷繩子

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就已經來不及救我了

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平局！你應該不忍心對你爸開槍吧？

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居然開槍了，你是瘋子嗎？

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我必須離開這個身體
不然就會跟他一起死

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我跳！

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好險，我活下來了

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幸好，結果你居然

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充滿智慧的開了槍

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射偏了十公分

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這讓我發現，原來你還有希望

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如果我們能活下去

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我們在這裡很安全

83
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不幸的是

84
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最後我們都死了

85
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你知道該怎麼做

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-可是…
-坐下！

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我寧願去死

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不，等等

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我們不可能死掉

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這樣要如何在30年後的醫院裡碰面？

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我把事件搞混了

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我大概又喝醉躺在床上

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而那個故事僅是夢一場

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原來你在這，小笨蛋

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我可不是為了讓你跟這個酒鬼玩

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才和他離婚，並奪走他的監護權

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媽，什麼是酒鬼？

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爸爸睡著了，因為他失業很辛苦

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你已經有了更好的新爸爸

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快忘掉這個懶惰鬼

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（班寶三世、跛腳運動第二季）

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（地下室的幽靈）

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這就是他

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每場派對都喝到掛

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-爸？
-我有個好點子

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你願意幫老爸一個忙嗎？

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我該怎麼做？

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首先，幫我把這些輪子搬上車

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剩下的我在路上告訴你

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爸，我們要去哪裡？

111
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去做該做的事情

112
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你當時太年輕

113
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我宿醉太嚴重，所以無法解釋太多

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不過1990年代的波蘭

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是組織性犯罪的黃金時期

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黑道、幫派、敲詐勒索、綁架

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賣淫、加油站的假燃料

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總之就是罪犯的世外桃源

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珀興擁有最強大的勢力

120
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那是官方說法

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其實他都是聽從惡魔統領的命令

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那傢伙躲在珀興名下
位於普魯什庫夫的別墅裡

123
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他非常享受暗地裡控制
整個波蘭的黑社會

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於是決定留在人間

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原本他也有機會那樣做

126
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不過他惹到了不該招惹的人

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給你選擇

128
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你要每個月按時繳保護費

129
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還是讓我們放火燒掉這個爛地方

130
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你也可以選擇：閉嘴或滾開

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你這傢伙…

132
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就是那次，他踩到了我的底線

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天啊，好讚的地方

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還以為我繼父已經夠有錢

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沒想到這傢伙簡直像暴發戶

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看他能維持多久

137
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（聖水批發商，哈利路亞）

138
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-是誰？
-那坦，快開門

139
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你這個白癡，認不得我的車嗎？

140
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你好嗎？

141
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一點都不好，我能理解需要100公升

142
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或是200公升去淨化土地

143
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但誰會訂一整車的聖水？

144
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我不行了，再這樣下去手會斷掉

145
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神祝福你！

146
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爸，難道不能一次
對全部的水執行聖水儀式嗎？

147
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不行，那樣會太稀

148
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必須維持在98％

149
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跟精餾伏特加一樣

150
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這個笨蛋居然不知道

151
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你媽才是笨蛋！

152
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好痛！

153
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沒時間玩鬧了

154
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我們還得去打敗惡魔統領

155
00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,584
又是美好且適合做壞事的天氣

156
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:10,126
先像隻肥貓，泡個早晨牛奶浴

157
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我是說來沖個牛奶澡，快速又便利

158
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對，你沒記錯

159
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我們用滿滿的聖水填滿了他的牛奶槽

160
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然後有趣的事情發生了

161
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對，也許我沒有被裁員

162
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也沒有因為破壞他人財產被逮捕

163
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重點是，這個情況有無限可能

164
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該死，為什麼會這樣？

165
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我燒起來了

166
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可惡，這水…

167
00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,168
這是聖水！

168
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又是你！

169
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你覬覦我的熱壓三明治攤位

170
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現在換你當一輩子熱壓三明治了

171
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我一定會找你報仇！

172
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你聽清楚了嗎？我會報仇！

173
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就算是30年後，你又老又虛弱的時候

174
00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:06,709
兒子，趁現在！

175
00:09:08,709 --> 00:09:09,626
好燙！

176
00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:10,876
算了，這裡不安全

177
00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:12,793
我要回去地獄，再見

178
00:09:19,668 --> 00:09:21,793
兩位先生，請冷靜點

179
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:22,959
你要我冷靜？

180
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拜託，他終於離開我家

181
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我又能掌握大權了！

182
00:09:28,126 --> 00:09:29,376
這得大肆慶祝！

183
00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:30,459
我想去扎科帕內度假

184
00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:33,251
米隆卡跟上我，狂歡的時候到了！

185
00:09:34,543 --> 00:09:36,459
經過那次事件之後

186
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惡魔統領的皮膚因為燒傷變成了紅色

187
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,709
他也不敢再離開地獄半步

188
00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:46,626
但我怕他會來履行30年前的承諾

189
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所以我躲來這裡

190
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什麼？老爸抱歉，我沒聽到

191
00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:59,168
你講到海綿的時候，我不小心神遊了

192
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你後來有再說什麼嗎？

193
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爸？

194
00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:04,043
老爸？

195
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:05,959
糟糕…

196
00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:16,043
他不願意付保護費

197
00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:17,959
三明治還賣很貴

198
00:10:18,043 --> 00:10:20,459
居然有押韻耶

199
00:10:20,543 --> 00:10:21,876
雖然有夠不合理

200
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,876
反正重點是

201
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,584
沒錯，就是我對你爸下的毒

202
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,668
就像我30年前的約定

203
00:10:29,418 --> 00:10:32,084
你可以直接訂兩個棺材

204
00:10:32,168 --> 00:10:37,251
因為你就是下一個驅魔死人

205
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再見！

206
00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:48,626
我們會再見面的，惡魔統領！

207
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喂？馬辛嗎？

208
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好啦，我會幫你付那該死的保險費

209
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（結束）

210
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不到300元就能驅魔

211
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其實只要200元，開發票才會多收錢

212
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,418
小心點，惡魔統領，他將來踹你屁股

213
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小心點，巴特西法，下個目標就是你

214
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字幕翻譯：樓艾苓