1 00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:42,522 (WIND WHISTLING SOFTLY) 2 00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:49,363 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:00:58,663 --> 00:01:00,874 (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 4 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,087 MAN: Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap. 5 00:01:05,962 --> 00:01:10,342 In my opinion, a second-rate murder mystery. (SCOFFS) 6 00:01:11,301 --> 00:01:13,637 Not that I've seen it, you understand. 7 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,472 But it's a whodunit. 8 00:01:15,639 --> 00:01:17,808 You've seen one, you've seen 'em all. 9 00:01:20,268 --> 00:01:21,686 You know the drill. 10 00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:23,355 An interminable prologue 11 00:01:23,438 --> 00:01:26,149 in which all the key players are introduced. 12 00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,235 You get a sense of the world they inhabit, 13 00:01:29,152 --> 00:01:32,614 and then the most unlikable character gets bumped off. 14 00:01:32,697 --> 00:01:34,366 There's been a murder? 15 00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:37,953 MAN: Cue the entrance of a world-weary detective, 16 00:01:38,036 --> 00:01:40,831 who comes in and pokes his nose around. 17 00:01:41,581 --> 00:01:43,959 Talks to witnesses. Takes a couple of wrong turns. 18 00:01:45,836 --> 00:01:48,755 And then gathers all the suspects in the drawing room 19 00:01:48,839 --> 00:01:51,299 and points the finger at the least likely chump 20 00:01:51,383 --> 00:01:53,468 because of the way the guy, 21 00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,095 I don't know, 22 00:01:55,262 --> 00:01:56,888 ties his shoelaces. 23 00:01:57,055 --> 00:02:01,184 Now you've seen our play, you're an accomplice to murder. 24 00:02:01,518 --> 00:02:04,855 And so, we ask you to remember 25 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,816 that it is very much in your interests 26 00:02:07,899 --> 00:02:12,487 not to tell a soul outside of this theater who done it. 27 00:02:12,571 --> 00:02:14,114 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND CHEERS) 28 00:02:14,197 --> 00:02:15,699 MAN: But what do I know? 29 00:02:15,782 --> 00:02:17,868 The Limeys, they just lap it up. 30 00:02:18,535 --> 00:02:20,662 -The play's a smash hit. -(MAN CLEARS THROAT) 31 00:02:20,745 --> 00:02:22,998 Not to mention a cash cow. 32 00:02:23,165 --> 00:02:27,544 Right there is the milkmaid in chief, Petula Spencer. 33 00:02:36,553 --> 00:02:37,762 (RAT SQUEAKING) 34 00:02:39,931 --> 00:02:41,808 (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) 35 00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:44,561 -(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC RESUMES) -(LAUGHTER AND CHATTER) 36 00:02:45,729 --> 00:02:50,942 This lavish affair is a party to celebrate the 100th performance. 37 00:02:51,109 --> 00:02:52,986 No wonder film producer John Woolf 38 00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:56,281 wants to turn the play into a major motion picture. 39 00:02:56,448 --> 00:03:00,452 Here he is now in the arms of his slightly paranoid wife. 40 00:03:00,535 --> 00:03:02,913 I sense that death is close at hand. 41 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:05,040 It's probably just a draft. 42 00:03:05,874 --> 00:03:07,709 MAN: This is where I come in. 43 00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:09,503 Leo Kopernick's the name. 44 00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:12,547 Big-shot Hollywood director. 45 00:03:12,756 --> 00:03:14,883 Hired to make the film adaptation 46 00:03:14,966 --> 00:03:18,094 marginally less boring than the play. (CHUCKLES) 47 00:03:18,512 --> 00:03:22,807 Easier said than done when the writer's a giant pompous ass. 48 00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,227 Mervyn Cocker-Norris. 49 00:03:25,393 --> 00:03:27,187 I say, you're rather tall. 50 00:03:27,354 --> 00:03:29,689 Am I? Haven't really thought about it, to be honest. 51 00:03:29,773 --> 00:03:31,191 Is that what happened here? 52 00:03:31,858 --> 00:03:34,152 Sort of. I had a bit of an accident backstage. 53 00:03:34,236 --> 00:03:37,989 LEO: Sure, he's educated and he knows a lot of $10 words, 54 00:03:38,365 --> 00:03:41,117 but it's like he's never seen a film before, 55 00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:42,702 let alone try to write one. 56 00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:44,788 Oh, ma vattinne! 57 00:03:46,498 --> 00:03:47,707 Chi è chistu? 58 00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:49,501 No one important. 59 00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:52,212 Omm, femmina o bestia, basta che respira! 60 00:03:52,295 --> 00:03:55,590 You know, at times you do rather overdo the temperamental Neapolitan. 61 00:03:56,216 --> 00:03:58,051 That's a nice jacket. 62 00:04:00,804 --> 00:04:04,015 Say, why don't you scare me up a real drink, will you, kid? 63 00:04:04,683 --> 00:04:09,604 Like a pint of rye or bourbon or motor oil, if you have to. 64 00:04:10,647 --> 00:04:12,440 Yeah. Hop to it, now, huh? 65 00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,652 In England, that actually counts as good service. 66 00:04:15,735 --> 00:04:17,654 I was stationed here during the war 67 00:04:17,737 --> 00:04:20,740 and, if anything, the locals are more uptight now 68 00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:23,201 than when they had the Luftwaffe overhead. 69 00:04:23,368 --> 00:04:24,536 Mervyn? 70 00:04:26,037 --> 00:04:28,164 Shouldn't you be home? I thought we had a deadline. 71 00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:29,749 I thought so too. 72 00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:32,419 But then our esteemed director tore up the screenplay 73 00:04:32,502 --> 00:04:34,754 and told me to start all over again. 74 00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:37,841 He's of the opinion that a modern audience will walk out in protest 75 00:04:37,924 --> 00:04:41,678 if they're not served at least one violent death in the opening frames. 76 00:04:41,845 --> 00:04:44,848 Suffice to say, we are no longer on speaking terms. 77 00:04:45,557 --> 00:04:47,434 Merv! (SPITS) 78 00:04:47,517 --> 00:04:50,395 London's most sensitive writer. (CHUCKLES) 79 00:04:51,146 --> 00:04:52,647 How is The Mousetrap, huh? 80 00:04:52,731 --> 00:04:53,940 Did they catch the guy who did it? 81 00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,401 I will not stand here and be insulted. 82 00:04:58,486 --> 00:05:00,071 Well, I guess he's gonna go over there and be insulted. 83 00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:01,156 WOOLF: Huh. 84 00:05:01,948 --> 00:05:05,285 LEO: (GROANS) What passes for glamour in these parts. 85 00:05:05,785 --> 00:05:08,204 Sheila Sim and Dickie Attenborough. 86 00:05:08,955 --> 00:05:11,416 Kid likes the sound of his own voice. 87 00:05:11,499 --> 00:05:13,501 Even money, he makes a speech. 88 00:05:13,668 --> 00:05:15,629 I suppose I ought to say a few words. 89 00:05:15,795 --> 00:05:16,796 Not too many. 90 00:05:16,963 --> 00:05:19,466 -And when have I ever? -Our wedding, remember? 91 00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,842 We almost missed the honeymoon. 92 00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:21,968 Yes. 93 00:05:22,052 --> 00:05:23,970 Darlings, you're ever so kind. 94 00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:27,974 I'd like to ask you all to raise a metaphorical bat 95 00:05:28,183 --> 00:05:29,684 to the old pavilion. 96 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,604 The Mousetrap is 100, not out. 97 00:05:32,771 --> 00:05:34,314 -Cheers! -ALL: Cheers! 98 00:05:35,774 --> 00:05:37,942 LEO: I tell you what else is 100 not out. 99 00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:40,111 Petula's mother. 100 00:05:40,278 --> 00:05:43,531 (CHUCKLES) The old kook's just crazy about seafood. 101 00:05:43,698 --> 00:05:45,784 They just brought out more langoustines. 102 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:46,910 (CRAB LEG SNAPS) 103 00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:50,830 Excuse me, I just need to deal with that. 104 00:05:51,331 --> 00:05:52,374 Mother! Please, 105 00:05:52,457 --> 00:05:53,750 -you've had quite enough. -LEO: Hi. 106 00:05:54,167 --> 00:05:56,795 Now, I'm not one to tell tales out of school, 107 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,922 but the girls over here, 108 00:05:59,005 --> 00:06:04,427 they go wild for an American accent and the promise of a pair of nylons. 109 00:06:04,594 --> 00:06:05,595 But the husbands... 110 00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:08,223 Right. I think it's time someone taught you a lesson. 111 00:06:08,431 --> 00:06:10,100 LEO: ...they're not so easily won over. 112 00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:13,019 It's only fair to warn you that I learned to box in the RAF. 113 00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:16,231 Yeah? Well, I learned to fly a plane in Gleason's Gym. 114 00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:19,609 (GUESTS EXCLAIM) 115 00:06:19,693 --> 00:06:20,777 (MUSIC ENDS) 116 00:06:21,486 --> 00:06:25,990 All of which explains, in an admittedly roundabout fashion, 117 00:06:26,324 --> 00:06:29,244 how I come to be in the theater's backstage area 118 00:06:29,327 --> 00:06:31,371 in need of a change of clothes. 119 00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,297 (SOFT CREAK) 120 00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:45,218 Hello? 121 00:07:05,905 --> 00:07:06,906 (SCOFFS) 122 00:07:09,784 --> 00:07:11,327 (METAL SQUEAKS IN DISTANCE) 123 00:07:17,709 --> 00:07:18,710 Hello? 124 00:07:20,795 --> 00:07:21,796 (FLOORBOARD CREAKS) 125 00:07:22,589 --> 00:07:23,590 (GRUNTS) 126 00:07:23,673 --> 00:07:25,925 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 127 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,096 (LEO GROANS) 128 00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:49,657 (GAGGING) 129 00:08:03,463 --> 00:08:04,672 (GASPING) 130 00:08:04,756 --> 00:08:06,341 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 131 00:08:17,393 --> 00:08:18,561 Aw, jeez. 132 00:08:19,270 --> 00:08:21,022 (MUSIC HALTS) 133 00:08:21,105 --> 00:08:23,691 I guess I should have seen this coming. 134 00:08:23,858 --> 00:08:26,861 It's always the most unlikable character who gets bumped off. 135 00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:29,572 -(THUMP) -(DRAMATIC NOTE PLAYS) 136 00:08:29,656 --> 00:08:31,282 It's a whodunit. 137 00:08:31,449 --> 00:08:34,118 You've seen one, you've seen 'em all. 138 00:08:34,285 --> 00:08:36,287 -(DRAMATIC NOTE PLAYS) -(THUNDER RUMBLING) 139 00:08:47,131 --> 00:08:49,133 (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) 140 00:08:53,638 --> 00:08:56,015 (THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING) 141 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,768 (ENGINE REVS) 142 00:08:58,852 --> 00:08:59,978 (TIRES SQUEAL) 143 00:09:09,571 --> 00:09:11,030 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 144 00:09:11,114 --> 00:09:12,240 We're closed. 145 00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:16,244 -(DOOR RATTLING) -Clear off. 146 00:09:17,912 --> 00:09:19,581 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 147 00:09:19,664 --> 00:09:20,665 Honestly. 148 00:09:24,544 --> 00:09:27,422 Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Inspector, uh, Stoppard, sir. 149 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:30,258 Sorry, I was under strict instructions not to let anyone in. 150 00:09:30,341 --> 00:09:31,342 Just open the door. 151 00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:33,469 Yes, sir. Of course. Sorry, I didn't recognize you, sir. 152 00:09:33,553 --> 00:09:35,763 I've actually, uh, just been transferred myself. 153 00:09:35,847 --> 00:09:38,224 Thought it was Leeke and Priestley on rotation tonight. 154 00:09:38,683 --> 00:09:40,476 -(BUMPS) -Careful, sir. 155 00:09:40,935 --> 00:09:41,936 In you come. 156 00:09:42,186 --> 00:09:43,313 (STOPPARD SIGHS) 157 00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:50,820 -Constable. -Stalker, sir. 158 00:09:52,071 --> 00:09:53,948 God, you're all wet through, sir. 159 00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,034 Hope you don't catch a cold after that. 160 00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,243 Yep, after you, sir. 161 00:10:00,997 --> 00:10:04,042 Victim's name is Leo Kopernick, sir. The film director. 162 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,336 Suspected Communist, blacklisted in Hollywood, 163 00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:09,047 so he came out here to work on a picture for John Woolf. 164 00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:11,883 You know John Woolf, the film producer. 165 00:10:11,966 --> 00:10:14,344 He made The African Queen with Humphrey Bogart. 166 00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:15,845 (IMITATING ACTOR) "Nature, Mr. Allnut, 167 00:10:15,929 --> 00:10:18,348 "is what we are put in this world to rise above." 168 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,059 That didn't sound anything like Bogart. 169 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,518 No, that was Katharine Hepburn, sir. 170 00:10:22,602 --> 00:10:24,938 She's in it too. Wonderful actress. 171 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:27,231 I go to the pictures quite a lot, actually. 172 00:10:27,315 --> 00:10:28,691 It's the escape, I suppose. 173 00:10:28,775 --> 00:10:29,943 The romance of the silver screen. 174 00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:31,027 Yes, thank you, Constable. 175 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:32,236 Yes, sir. 176 00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,281 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 177 00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:38,493 (CHATTER QUIETS) 178 00:10:50,254 --> 00:10:51,631 (WOMAN COUGHS) 179 00:10:55,718 --> 00:10:57,553 Eh, signs of a struggle. 180 00:10:58,596 --> 00:11:00,264 STALKER: Actually, sir, I believe that happened 181 00:11:00,348 --> 00:11:01,683 when Mrs. Boyle was killed. 182 00:11:01,766 --> 00:11:03,101 Mrs. Boyle? Who's... 183 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,228 Yes, sir. Um... 184 00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:06,521 She's that woman in the front row there. 185 00:11:09,524 --> 00:11:11,317 Well, she seems to have bounced back. 186 00:11:12,235 --> 00:11:13,319 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 187 00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:16,572 Sorry, sir. No, she was killed in the play. Also strangled. 188 00:11:16,656 --> 00:11:18,533 Not that I've seen it, although I would like to. 189 00:11:18,616 --> 00:11:21,828 It's an Agatha Christie, and I do like a good murder. 190 00:11:21,911 --> 00:11:23,830 Yes, thank you, Constable. 191 00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:24,914 Yes, sir. 192 00:11:27,709 --> 00:11:29,711 (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) 193 00:11:34,424 --> 00:11:35,842 A ski did that, sir. 194 00:11:36,676 --> 00:11:38,386 They use it in the play, apparently. 195 00:11:38,678 --> 00:11:40,054 As I said, I haven't seen it. 196 00:11:40,888 --> 00:11:44,225 And then the large dent in the cranium is a sewing machine. 197 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,811 Seems he was killed in the costume store initially, 198 00:11:46,894 --> 00:11:48,688 and then he was deposited here. 199 00:11:50,606 --> 00:11:52,483 Staged, so to speak. (CHUCKLES) 200 00:11:54,819 --> 00:11:55,820 Sorry, sir. 201 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,456 Yeah, that's the ski that he took in the face, sir. 202 00:12:06,539 --> 00:12:09,125 And, uh, I'm afraid it was downhill from there. 203 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:12,253 Oh. Sorry, sir. 204 00:12:12,336 --> 00:12:14,005 That one just came out on its own. (CHUCKLES) 205 00:12:16,674 --> 00:12:17,717 (STALKER CLEARS THROAT) 206 00:12:22,055 --> 00:12:24,098 Seems he came down here for a change of clothes. 207 00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:27,518 Why? 208 00:12:33,524 --> 00:12:36,819 It was a party to celebrate the 100th performance, sir. 209 00:12:36,986 --> 00:12:38,196 The other nought must have... 210 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,948 When the victim upset the sponge. 211 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:45,661 Um, and he then proceeded to sit in the assortment of crustaceans. 212 00:12:45,912 --> 00:12:48,289 -(GRUNTS) -(GUESTS EXCLAIM) 213 00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:55,171 I'm told he was intoxicated, sir, as a newt. (CHUCKLES) 214 00:12:56,130 --> 00:12:58,925 This was actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. 215 00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:01,761 (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) 216 00:13:05,473 --> 00:13:08,226 Then he left. No one saw him again until the body was discovered. 217 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,435 That's correct, sir. 218 00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:13,397 (SIGHS) Perhaps they were all in on it together, sir? 219 00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:18,569 STOPPARD: Hmm. 220 00:13:23,491 --> 00:13:24,492 (SOFT CRUNCH) 221 00:13:26,953 --> 00:13:27,995 (CAMERA FLASHBULB POPS) 222 00:13:30,498 --> 00:13:33,251 Looks like the killer tried to pull out the victim's tongue. 223 00:13:33,417 --> 00:13:35,419 Why would anyone do a thing like that? 224 00:13:36,045 --> 00:13:38,631 Excuse me, Chief Inspector. 225 00:13:38,714 --> 00:13:39,715 It's just "Inspector." 226 00:13:39,924 --> 00:13:41,926 Yes. Of course. Inspector. 227 00:13:42,093 --> 00:13:43,845 I hate to interrupt, I do. 228 00:13:43,928 --> 00:13:45,012 There really is nothing worse... 229 00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:47,682 Petula Spencer, sir. Prominent theater impresario. 230 00:13:47,849 --> 00:13:48,891 Yes, thank you, Constable. 231 00:13:48,975 --> 00:13:53,062 Tell me, how much longer do you intend to keep us all hostage here? 232 00:13:53,146 --> 00:13:56,107 Or is that the idea? "Let the galled jade wince." 233 00:13:57,066 --> 00:13:58,609 Gather all the suspects under one roof 234 00:13:58,693 --> 00:14:01,404 and then interrogate each of us in turn until the mystery is solved? 235 00:14:01,487 --> 00:14:03,531 Mervyn Cocker-Norris, overrated playwright. 236 00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:05,199 Celebrated playwright. 237 00:14:06,117 --> 00:14:07,368 Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. 238 00:14:07,451 --> 00:14:09,120 I can't read me own handwriting. 239 00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:11,414 Not that we are suspects, necessarily. 240 00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,042 Are we suspects? 241 00:14:16,794 --> 00:14:20,715 It was just a reference to Agatha Christie and her penchant for denouement, 242 00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:23,217 in which the detective gathers the susp... 243 00:14:24,135 --> 00:14:25,595 I dare say, that's not... 244 00:14:26,429 --> 00:14:28,472 -Please continue. -Yes, thank you, Mervyn. 245 00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:30,391 Inspector, I want you to know 246 00:14:30,474 --> 00:14:33,311 that I have nothing but the utmost respect 247 00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,188 for the Metropolitan Police. 248 00:14:35,438 --> 00:14:37,982 But, well, do you think you might be finished in time 249 00:14:38,065 --> 00:14:39,233 for curtain up tomorrow night? 250 00:14:39,317 --> 00:14:40,401 Oh, for goodness' sake. 251 00:14:40,484 --> 00:14:42,195 John Woolf, esteemed film producer. 252 00:14:42,278 --> 00:14:43,571 Yes, thank you, Constable. 253 00:14:43,654 --> 00:14:45,531 This is a murder investigation. 254 00:14:45,615 --> 00:14:49,076 Surely that takes precedence, sold out or not. 255 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,245 Yes, it's all going to plan for you, isn't it, Woolfie? 256 00:14:51,329 --> 00:14:52,663 You want the run to end. 257 00:14:52,747 --> 00:14:54,832 WOOLF: (SCOFFS) I want nothing of the sort. 258 00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:56,792 It's the decent thing to do, that's all. 259 00:14:56,876 --> 00:14:59,378 Close the theater out of respect for Leo. 260 00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:00,755 Such a tragic loss. 261 00:15:00,838 --> 00:15:05,218 Inspector, I implore you not to overreact. 262 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,721 I would hate to have to go over your head and 263 00:15:09,347 --> 00:15:11,724 talk directly to your superiors. 264 00:15:11,974 --> 00:15:13,726 Oh, we wouldn't want that, now, would we, madam? 265 00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:15,770 But I'm afraid that under the circumstances, 266 00:15:15,853 --> 00:15:17,897 -as a precaution... -Precaution? 267 00:15:18,731 --> 00:15:20,024 He's already dead. 268 00:15:20,233 --> 00:15:21,567 STOPPARD: He is, madam. 269 00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,237 But until we have an idea as to a likely motive, 270 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,447 who's to say this is the end of it? 271 00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:27,990 What is that supposed to mean? 272 00:15:28,532 --> 00:15:30,743 We are no longer merely suspects. 273 00:15:31,244 --> 00:15:34,080 We are also potential victims. 274 00:15:35,748 --> 00:15:36,958 -(CAMERA FLASHBULB POPS) -PETULA: Oh. 275 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,501 WOMAN: Mmm. 276 00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:41,879 Oh, God, I wasn't in that, was I? I must look dreadful. 277 00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:45,383 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 278 00:15:49,804 --> 00:15:51,264 -(TIRES SQUEAL) -(ENGINE REVS) 279 00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:58,688 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 280 00:16:07,196 --> 00:16:08,281 Excuse me, sir. 281 00:16:16,914 --> 00:16:17,915 (BLOWS NOSE) 282 00:16:17,999 --> 00:16:19,166 MAN: Stoppard! 283 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:20,710 My office. 284 00:16:21,669 --> 00:16:23,337 -(KNOCK ON DOOR) -STOPPARD: Hello, sir. 285 00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:26,549 What in God's name possessed you to close down the Ambassadors? 286 00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:28,175 Uh, protocol, sir. It's a crime scene. 287 00:16:28,259 --> 00:16:31,554 No, it's a public relations disaster, is what it is. 288 00:16:31,637 --> 00:16:32,722 Public what, sir? 289 00:16:32,805 --> 00:16:34,056 -Stalker! -Sir. 290 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,017 Not to put too fine a point on... 291 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,226 -Yes, please. -Here. 292 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,978 Not to put too fine a point on it, Inspector, 293 00:16:39,061 --> 00:16:41,939 but your latest blunder is front page news. 294 00:16:42,648 --> 00:16:45,484 Fleet Street is all over this, like hot jam on a Devonshire scone. 295 00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:48,821 You are slap-bang in the crosshairs. 296 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,032 Now, we need to do everything we can 297 00:16:51,115 --> 00:16:53,826 to make sure the bullet doesn't miss you and hit me. 298 00:16:53,993 --> 00:16:55,786 -Yeah, of course, sir. Yes. -Good. 299 00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:57,830 Then you'll inform the theater at once. 300 00:16:57,913 --> 00:16:59,540 Well, I thought as a precaution, I... 301 00:16:59,623 --> 00:17:01,042 The Home Secretary 302 00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:03,794 is a close, personal friend of Agatha Christie. 303 00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:06,172 His brother-in-law is Rex Harrison. 304 00:17:06,255 --> 00:17:07,256 Wonderful actor. 305 00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:08,424 -Yes, thank you, Constable. -Sir. 306 00:17:08,632 --> 00:17:11,510 It's actually worked in our favor to have the press distracted like this. 307 00:17:11,594 --> 00:17:15,014 It means we can keep a lid on the Rillington Place murders. 308 00:17:15,097 --> 00:17:18,100 Rillington Place murders. Yes. What's that? 309 00:17:18,184 --> 00:17:19,810 (SIGHS) Blimey. 310 00:17:19,977 --> 00:17:20,978 Haven't you heard? 311 00:17:21,812 --> 00:17:23,856 We have a serial killer on the loose. 312 00:17:23,939 --> 00:17:26,275 You didn't think all of this was for you, now, did you? 313 00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:29,528 -No, of course... -No. 314 00:17:29,612 --> 00:17:31,489 -(BOTH CHUCKLE) -Of course not. 315 00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:35,451 Well, have all the resources been allocated to this other investigation? 316 00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:37,286 No, not all of them, no. 317 00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,998 I understand you, uh, met WPC Stalker last night? 318 00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:42,291 I did, yes. 319 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,043 -Constable. -Inspector. 320 00:17:44,126 --> 00:17:46,962 A very capable officer. 321 00:17:48,214 --> 00:17:50,716 Or at least she will be once she gets the proper instruction. 322 00:17:51,717 --> 00:17:53,177 Sorry, sir, I'm not sure I, uh... 323 00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:54,512 You don't mean you want me to... 324 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:57,056 Yes, I do. I'd like you to show her the ropes. 325 00:17:57,431 --> 00:18:00,226 I'm hoping some of her enthusiasm for police work might rub off on you. 326 00:18:01,227 --> 00:18:03,270 But the, uh, bullet, sir. Is that why... 327 00:18:03,354 --> 00:18:05,606 This is not a debate, Stoppard. 328 00:18:05,981 --> 00:18:08,734 I have a reputation as a modernizer. 329 00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:10,736 I have to be seen to keep it up. 330 00:18:10,903 --> 00:18:13,489 I have said in public 331 00:18:13,697 --> 00:18:16,742 that I think women are the future of the force. 332 00:18:16,909 --> 00:18:19,286 Absolutely, sir, I agree. 333 00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:20,955 (CHUCKLING) But we're not looking 334 00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:22,331 -for stolen sweets... -Sweets. 335 00:18:22,415 --> 00:18:23,999 ...or a lost bleeding bicycle. 336 00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:26,794 This is a murder investigation, and she is inexperienced. 337 00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:30,256 They were inexperienced in the war. 338 00:18:30,881 --> 00:18:32,967 Ask Jerry how that turned out. 339 00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:34,301 Yes, sir. But, uh... 340 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:35,511 -That... -Huh? 341 00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:38,806 -...will be all. -Thank you. 342 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,850 -Commissioner. -Inspector. 343 00:18:42,017 --> 00:18:43,978 -STOPPARD: Constable. -Inspector. 344 00:18:45,229 --> 00:18:47,022 -Commissioner. -Constable. 345 00:18:47,273 --> 00:18:49,442 Um, sorry again about last night, sir. 346 00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:50,526 With the rain and everything... 347 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:52,278 Water under the bridge, Constable. No harm done. 348 00:18:52,361 --> 00:18:53,362 (SNEEZES) 349 00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:55,489 (PLAYFUL JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 350 00:18:55,573 --> 00:18:57,575 (STOPPARD SNIFFLES, GROANS) 351 00:18:59,118 --> 00:19:00,828 -(SNEEZES) -You all right? 352 00:19:00,911 --> 00:19:04,957 Yeah. Do we have an address for the victim? 353 00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:09,253 Yep. It is "Laurel Canyon, Hollywood, USA." 354 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,299 Where was he staying in England, Constable? 355 00:19:14,758 --> 00:19:16,260 Oh. Um... 356 00:19:16,343 --> 00:19:18,053 (TUTS) Right. 357 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:20,556 (PLAYFUL JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES) 358 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:37,323 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 359 00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:43,078 If I am honest, Monsieur Kopernick, he was not a very good guest. 360 00:19:43,245 --> 00:19:44,330 In arrears, was he? 361 00:19:44,413 --> 00:19:47,541 Là, non, but he did not pay for his room. 362 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,335 Monsieur Woolf did. 363 00:19:49,418 --> 00:19:50,461 STALKER: Hmm. 364 00:19:51,962 --> 00:19:53,839 What part of France are you from, sir? 365 00:19:54,673 --> 00:19:55,758 Belgium. 366 00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:57,301 Ah, right. 367 00:20:01,514 --> 00:20:03,807 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 368 00:20:03,891 --> 00:20:06,018 -(DOOR CLOSES) -STOPPARD: Oh, my, my. 369 00:20:08,103 --> 00:20:09,939 What a bloody pigsty. 370 00:20:10,439 --> 00:20:13,067 They don't clean the rooms at the Savoy? 371 00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:15,236 Hélas, not this one. 372 00:20:16,028 --> 00:20:17,071 STOPPARD: Hmm. 373 00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,489 The maids, they refuse. 374 00:20:19,490 --> 00:20:23,160 We offer them more money, but still they say non. 375 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:25,287 There was 376 00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:27,414 an incident. 377 00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:32,545 Always avec Monsieur Kopernick, there was an incident. 378 00:20:38,425 --> 00:20:39,426 STALKER: Hmm. 379 00:20:51,564 --> 00:20:52,565 Ooh. 380 00:20:53,482 --> 00:20:54,984 STOPPARD: Thank you, Constable. 381 00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,652 Oh. Sorry, sir. 382 00:20:57,236 --> 00:20:59,572 Did one of these incidents ever turn violent? 383 00:21:00,239 --> 00:21:02,449 Oui. Une fois. 384 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:04,243 (ROUSING MUSIC PLAYS) 385 00:21:04,368 --> 00:21:06,036 MERVYN: How dare you call me a bad writer! 386 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,538 LEO: I didn't say that. I said it's bad writing. 387 00:21:07,621 --> 00:21:10,124 MERVYN: I did the best I could within the confines of the genre, 388 00:21:10,207 --> 00:21:11,584 and Woolf loved it! 389 00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:14,211 LEO: Woolf wouldn't know a good script if it came up and bit him on the ass. 390 00:21:14,295 --> 00:21:16,839 -It's horseshit! -No, it isn't! Not all of it! 391 00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:18,299 All right, what I read is horseshit! 392 00:21:18,382 --> 00:21:21,051 MERVYN: (GASPS) You mean you didn't even finish it? 393 00:21:21,135 --> 00:21:22,136 I read enough, pal, 394 00:21:22,219 --> 00:21:23,929 to know that nobody gets killed in the first 10 pages! 395 00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:26,140 You charlatan! Give it back! 396 00:21:26,223 --> 00:21:27,641 -Listen. Listen to me. Listen! -Give... 397 00:21:27,725 --> 00:21:29,560 We need to go in a completely different direction! 398 00:21:29,643 --> 00:21:30,728 (MERVYN STRAINING) 399 00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:32,104 -(LEO GRUNTS) -(YELPS) 400 00:21:32,187 --> 00:21:33,647 (LAMP SHATTERS) 401 00:21:35,316 --> 00:21:36,567 (PANTING) 402 00:21:36,692 --> 00:21:40,362 I'll kill you for this, Kopernick, you bastard! 403 00:21:43,907 --> 00:21:46,327 That's that then, sir. It's as good as a confession. 404 00:21:46,994 --> 00:21:49,538 Let's not jump to conclusions, Constable. 405 00:21:49,913 --> 00:21:51,165 No, sir. 406 00:21:51,332 --> 00:21:53,667 The least we can do is talk to this other party. 407 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,628 Yes, sir. Cocker-Norris, sir. 408 00:21:58,255 --> 00:21:59,757 STOPPARD: Tell me, do you write everything down 409 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,342 in that little notebook? 410 00:22:02,009 --> 00:22:03,969 Only if it's important, sir. 411 00:22:04,136 --> 00:22:05,763 How do you know if it's important? 412 00:22:07,139 --> 00:22:08,223 Well, 413 00:22:09,058 --> 00:22:12,853 uh, I'll just sort of put everything in as we go, 414 00:22:12,936 --> 00:22:15,189 and then down the line when we know what's important, 415 00:22:15,272 --> 00:22:17,274 we'll know that it's already in the notebook. 416 00:22:20,235 --> 00:22:21,612 So you do write everything down. 417 00:22:21,695 --> 00:22:22,821 Yeah, everything. 418 00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:24,823 That's what I thought. 419 00:22:26,659 --> 00:22:27,993 (ENGINE STARTS) 420 00:22:29,912 --> 00:22:32,748 (OPERATIC SONG PLAYING) 421 00:22:37,461 --> 00:22:41,006 MERVYN: Make yourself comfortable. You're just in time for elevenses. 422 00:23:02,319 --> 00:23:03,529 -(STOPPARD GRUNTS) -Oh. 423 00:23:04,988 --> 00:23:07,741 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 424 00:23:13,789 --> 00:23:14,790 Oh! 425 00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:16,834 (DOOR OPENS) 426 00:23:17,876 --> 00:23:18,877 (DOOR CLOSES) 427 00:23:20,295 --> 00:23:21,296 (OPERA STOPS) 428 00:23:21,797 --> 00:23:23,924 You must excuse the désordre, 429 00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,552 it's research for the film adaptation. 430 00:23:26,677 --> 00:23:29,430 Police statements, court reports, newspaper cuttings. 431 00:23:30,013 --> 00:23:32,474 The Mousetrap is actually based on a real-life case. 432 00:23:33,142 --> 00:23:34,143 Nettle tea? 433 00:23:34,685 --> 00:23:37,521 I appreciate you've not yet had time to come to terms 434 00:23:37,604 --> 00:23:39,022 with the death of Mr. Kopernick, but... 435 00:23:39,106 --> 00:23:40,941 Is it true his tongue was pulled out? 436 00:23:41,024 --> 00:23:42,776 (CHUCKLING) I'm afraid I can't divulge details 437 00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:43,861 of an ongoing investigation. 438 00:23:43,944 --> 00:23:45,112 It was disgusting. 439 00:23:45,195 --> 00:23:47,990 -(DOOR OPENS) -Amore, non pozzo faticà così! 440 00:23:48,073 --> 00:23:49,116 What? 441 00:23:50,075 --> 00:23:51,827 È na cos' 'e pazz! 442 00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:53,537 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) 443 00:23:58,208 --> 00:23:59,209 (CHUCKLES LIGHTLY) 444 00:23:59,334 --> 00:24:02,921 That's Gio. Nephew of mine. Very hotheaded. 445 00:24:03,756 --> 00:24:05,466 I wonder if it isn't all the fumes. 446 00:24:05,549 --> 00:24:06,925 You know, from the chemicals. 447 00:24:07,009 --> 00:24:08,677 He's an amateur taxidermist. 448 00:24:09,303 --> 00:24:11,889 He has a fascination with the macabre. 449 00:24:12,765 --> 00:24:14,558 I call it his Stymphalian Bird series. 450 00:24:15,058 --> 00:24:16,143 STOPPARD: Hmm. 451 00:24:16,268 --> 00:24:19,813 MERVYN: Macabre in a strictly "ornithological" sense, that is. 452 00:24:22,941 --> 00:24:24,568 You wanted to ask me about Leo? 453 00:24:24,651 --> 00:24:27,070 STOPPARD: We heard there was an argument at the Savoy, 454 00:24:27,154 --> 00:24:28,739 and I noticed you had the other half of this. 455 00:24:34,828 --> 00:24:37,664 Inspector, that was a contretemps, nothing more. 456 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,125 (SOFTLY) Read that part. Yeah. 457 00:24:40,584 --> 00:24:43,796 "I'll kill you for this, Kopernick, you bastard." 458 00:24:47,132 --> 00:24:48,383 Well, obviously, I... 459 00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:50,010 Taken out of context, I... 460 00:24:50,385 --> 00:24:54,139 Those words were spoken in anger and under extreme provocation. 461 00:24:55,057 --> 00:24:57,351 We had creative differences, that's all. 462 00:24:58,143 --> 00:24:59,186 STOPPARD: Hmm. 463 00:24:59,686 --> 00:25:01,313 How did you like The Mousetrap? 464 00:25:02,105 --> 00:25:03,774 -Oh, yeah, the play? -Mmm. 465 00:25:03,857 --> 00:25:05,692 Yeah, I, uh... I didn't see it yet. 466 00:25:05,776 --> 00:25:06,777 Well, if you'd like, 467 00:25:06,860 --> 00:25:08,028 -I can précis this... -No, no, no. 468 00:25:08,111 --> 00:25:10,614 I got the basics. It's a whodunit, right? 469 00:25:10,697 --> 00:25:14,409 So, you got a dead body, a detective, 470 00:25:14,576 --> 00:25:17,412 and then all the suspects rather conveniently 471 00:25:17,496 --> 00:25:19,665 end up in a remote country house together. 472 00:25:20,249 --> 00:25:21,250 In a nutshell. 473 00:25:21,416 --> 00:25:24,670 Our task will be to present this improbable series of events 474 00:25:24,753 --> 00:25:26,588 to an audience of moderate intelligence 475 00:25:26,672 --> 00:25:29,049 in a manner that does not cause too much offense. 476 00:25:29,258 --> 00:25:30,551 Easy. 477 00:25:30,717 --> 00:25:31,927 Flashbacks. 478 00:25:32,344 --> 00:25:33,846 No. 479 00:25:34,471 --> 00:25:35,556 No what? 480 00:25:35,722 --> 00:25:37,015 No flashbacks. 481 00:25:37,516 --> 00:25:39,393 They are crass, lazy, and they interrupt 482 00:25:39,476 --> 00:25:40,686 the flow of the story. 483 00:25:40,853 --> 00:25:44,398 In my opinion, they are the last refuge of a moribund imagination. 484 00:25:44,898 --> 00:25:45,899 Whatever next? 485 00:25:45,983 --> 00:25:48,318 A caption that says, "Three weeks later"? 486 00:25:48,485 --> 00:25:50,195 (DRAMATIC NOTE PLAYS) 487 00:25:50,863 --> 00:25:51,864 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 488 00:25:51,947 --> 00:25:54,366 Merv. Merv, will you come on? 489 00:25:54,533 --> 00:25:55,784 This is crazy. Will you open the door? 490 00:25:55,951 --> 00:25:57,578 I'm not coming out until Woolf gets here. 491 00:25:57,661 --> 00:25:58,662 (DOOR BUZZES) 492 00:26:00,163 --> 00:26:01,331 What is it this time? 493 00:26:01,498 --> 00:26:02,624 I'll tell you what it is. 494 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,167 I pitched a new ending, 495 00:26:04,334 --> 00:26:07,045 Cockamamie-Novice over here locks himself in the bathroom. 496 00:26:07,212 --> 00:26:08,839 Is this instead of the car chase? 497 00:26:09,006 --> 00:26:10,090 As well as. 498 00:26:10,173 --> 00:26:13,594 I think he thinks "denouement" is French for "shootout." 499 00:26:14,261 --> 00:26:17,264 Will you at least hear me out first, and then tell me you don't like it? 500 00:26:18,307 --> 00:26:21,560 Come on, I storyboarded it for you. Come on, have a seat. 501 00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:23,478 MERVYN: Why can't we just have the detective 502 00:26:23,562 --> 00:26:27,566 gather everyone in the drawing room and then reveal to them who did it? 503 00:26:27,733 --> 00:26:30,611 Why? 'Cause it's old, it's tired. 504 00:26:30,819 --> 00:26:32,029 It's been done a thousand times. 505 00:26:32,195 --> 00:26:35,407 So then who explains to the audience what on Earth's going on? 506 00:26:35,490 --> 00:26:36,491 No one. 507 00:26:36,617 --> 00:26:38,035 I don't know. The killer. 508 00:26:38,577 --> 00:26:40,078 Now you see what I have to put up with? 509 00:26:40,162 --> 00:26:41,496 Will you please have a seat? 510 00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,666 So, a remote country house. 511 00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:48,128 We got all the, uh, suspects gathered in the drawing room, right? 512 00:26:48,295 --> 00:26:50,213 So far, soporific. 513 00:26:50,756 --> 00:26:52,925 Suddenly, the lights go out. 514 00:26:53,008 --> 00:26:54,092 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 515 00:26:54,176 --> 00:26:58,138 Our hero grips his Colt Special, edges into the hall. 516 00:26:59,806 --> 00:27:02,100 The killer's got a hostage, can't get a clear shot. 517 00:27:03,101 --> 00:27:04,436 Suddenly, kaboom! 518 00:27:04,603 --> 00:27:06,188 The place goes up in flames. 519 00:27:06,271 --> 00:27:07,272 (CARD SHUFFLES) 520 00:27:07,397 --> 00:27:08,398 Blam! Blam! 521 00:27:08,482 --> 00:27:10,025 Our hero plugs the killer. 522 00:27:10,192 --> 00:27:11,443 One in the gut! (GRUNTS) 523 00:27:11,526 --> 00:27:13,153 One in the knee! (GROANS) 524 00:27:13,278 --> 00:27:14,404 Then, all of a sudden... 525 00:27:14,488 --> 00:27:15,822 (MIMICS GUN CLICKING) 526 00:27:16,615 --> 00:27:18,033 His goddamned gun jams. 527 00:27:18,408 --> 00:27:19,576 He's a sittin' duck. 528 00:27:21,370 --> 00:27:22,371 Sorry, not that one. 529 00:27:22,454 --> 00:27:23,455 (CARDS SHUFFLING) 530 00:27:23,538 --> 00:27:24,581 I'm sorry about this. 531 00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:26,541 He's a sittin' duck. 532 00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:27,751 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 533 00:27:27,876 --> 00:27:30,587 Our killer, dying but not dead, 534 00:27:31,630 --> 00:27:32,714 takes aim. 535 00:27:33,423 --> 00:27:35,008 Boom! He fires. 536 00:27:35,342 --> 00:27:36,343 Out of nowhere, 537 00:27:36,802 --> 00:27:39,429 our hero cop's partner dives in slow motion! 538 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:40,681 Takes a bullet! 539 00:27:41,014 --> 00:27:42,182 (GRUNTS) 540 00:27:42,724 --> 00:27:48,397 Our hero cradles his partner like a father would his child. 541 00:27:48,689 --> 00:27:51,400 His face a gumbo of emotions. 542 00:27:52,943 --> 00:27:55,487 We hold on the inferno, 543 00:27:57,072 --> 00:27:59,700 and we pan left, to a dead butler. 544 00:28:00,659 --> 00:28:01,868 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 545 00:28:01,994 --> 00:28:03,954 Hank Williams plays us out. 546 00:28:05,122 --> 00:28:06,123 I Saw The Light. 547 00:28:14,214 --> 00:28:16,508 -You hate it. -No, no, I don't hate it. 548 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,802 -But you don't love it. -Of course he doesn't! 549 00:28:19,052 --> 00:28:20,178 It's preposterous 550 00:28:20,345 --> 00:28:22,389 and totally out of keeping with the rest of the film. 551 00:28:22,723 --> 00:28:23,724 Oh, who cares? 552 00:28:23,807 --> 00:28:25,767 The audience only ever remembers the last 20 minutes. 553 00:28:25,851 --> 00:28:27,227 Oh, poppycock. 554 00:28:27,310 --> 00:28:28,812 Uh, Hitchcock, actually. 555 00:28:29,021 --> 00:28:30,480 How does he get the gun? 556 00:28:30,939 --> 00:28:31,940 He's a cop! 557 00:28:32,024 --> 00:28:33,984 Uh, police are not armed in England. 558 00:28:34,401 --> 00:28:36,445 What? How do they kill the bad guys? 559 00:28:36,528 --> 00:28:37,529 They don't. 560 00:28:37,612 --> 00:28:40,782 They ask them to stop in the name of the law. 561 00:28:40,866 --> 00:28:42,284 -(CAR HORN HONKING) -LEO: Huh. 562 00:28:42,367 --> 00:28:45,746 Well, he fought in the war, so he kept his service revolver. 563 00:28:46,204 --> 00:28:49,041 God damn it, we're gonna have to pick this up another time. 564 00:28:50,917 --> 00:28:52,586 Say, uh, Merv. 565 00:28:53,420 --> 00:28:56,214 You wouldn't want to lend me this pad, would you? 566 00:28:56,381 --> 00:28:57,382 Just for the night. 567 00:28:58,091 --> 00:29:00,927 Only I got this dame parked outside I wanna impress. 568 00:29:01,261 --> 00:29:03,305 As in, she actually is a dame. 569 00:29:04,389 --> 00:29:06,892 And, well, you know. (CHUCKLES) 570 00:29:07,017 --> 00:29:09,561 My place ain't exactly the Savoy. 571 00:29:09,728 --> 00:29:12,105 I thought his place exactly was the Savoy. 572 00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:14,775 No, he didn't take up residence there till a month later. 573 00:29:15,275 --> 00:29:18,195 And the production company footed the bill when he did. 574 00:29:18,445 --> 00:29:20,238 How he finagled that, I'll never know. 575 00:29:20,322 --> 00:29:21,323 (SLURPS) 576 00:29:21,448 --> 00:29:24,159 Either I need a new agent, or he had dirt on Woolf. 577 00:29:24,576 --> 00:29:25,660 STOPPARD: Hmm. 578 00:29:28,622 --> 00:29:29,706 (SWALLOWS) 579 00:29:29,831 --> 00:29:31,249 Did you ever meet these women? 580 00:29:31,666 --> 00:29:33,335 -(STALKER CLEARS THROAT) -Who were they? 581 00:29:33,418 --> 00:29:36,088 Oh, girls he met during the war who had low standards 582 00:29:36,171 --> 00:29:37,589 and even lower self-esteem. 583 00:29:37,672 --> 00:29:39,091 I never had the pleasure. 584 00:29:41,510 --> 00:29:42,511 Oh, wait. 585 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:44,763 Tell a lie. 586 00:29:44,846 --> 00:29:47,182 (PLAYFUL JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 587 00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:48,767 LEO: Merv! Come on. 588 00:29:48,850 --> 00:29:50,560 When I said we should tear up the script, 589 00:29:50,644 --> 00:29:51,853 I didn't mean literally! 590 00:29:55,982 --> 00:29:57,234 WOMAN: Hello, Leo. 591 00:29:57,317 --> 00:29:58,443 What is that doing here? 592 00:29:58,527 --> 00:29:59,653 (GASPS) 593 00:29:59,736 --> 00:30:01,154 He was Kopernick's son! 594 00:30:01,321 --> 00:30:02,572 Peas in a pod. 595 00:30:03,156 --> 00:30:04,157 And the mother? 596 00:30:04,324 --> 00:30:07,786 I didn't get a good look. A plain girl, rather homely. 597 00:30:08,578 --> 00:30:10,038 Dark hair, glasses, 598 00:30:10,205 --> 00:30:11,248 thick lenses. 599 00:30:12,499 --> 00:30:14,042 So there we have it, sir. Cherchez la femme. 600 00:30:14,126 --> 00:30:15,127 STOPPARD: What? 601 00:30:15,210 --> 00:30:16,795 It's Belgian, sir. It means, "Look for the woman." 602 00:30:16,878 --> 00:30:19,297 I know what it means, Constable. What woman? 603 00:30:19,381 --> 00:30:21,508 The mother of Kopernick's illegitimate son. 604 00:30:21,842 --> 00:30:23,635 Cocker-Norris couldn't remember her name, 605 00:30:23,718 --> 00:30:25,262 but I bet it's in that little black book. 606 00:30:25,345 --> 00:30:27,472 You know, the one that you found in the hotel room, sir. 607 00:30:27,556 --> 00:30:29,141 If we find her, we have our answer. 608 00:30:29,224 --> 00:30:31,059 We need to get a police sketch artist down here at once 609 00:30:31,143 --> 00:30:32,519 before he forgets anything. 610 00:30:33,019 --> 00:30:34,187 (STALKER SIGHS) 611 00:30:35,104 --> 00:30:37,566 Mmm. I'm doing it again, aren't I, sir? 612 00:30:37,983 --> 00:30:39,860 -Jumping to conclusions. -Conclusions, yeah. 613 00:30:39,943 --> 00:30:40,944 Little bit. 614 00:30:41,027 --> 00:30:42,028 Sorry. 615 00:30:42,612 --> 00:30:43,613 Constable. 616 00:30:45,907 --> 00:30:47,784 I have a very important mission for you. 617 00:30:47,993 --> 00:30:49,077 Mmm-hmm. 618 00:30:49,161 --> 00:30:51,413 I need you to find a telephone box. 619 00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:52,581 Call the station. 620 00:30:52,956 --> 00:30:55,542 Get an address for John Woolf, the film producer. 621 00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:57,002 And I'll wait for you here. 622 00:30:57,085 --> 00:30:59,588 Uh, "Romulus Films, Soho," sir. I wrote it down. 623 00:31:00,672 --> 00:31:02,090 -You did? -Mmm-hmm. 624 00:31:04,301 --> 00:31:05,719 (SMACKS LIPS) Right. 625 00:31:06,511 --> 00:31:08,138 -Well done. -Thank you. 626 00:31:09,139 --> 00:31:10,307 -(ENGINE STARTS) -Shall we? 627 00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:12,392 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 628 00:31:18,982 --> 00:31:20,609 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 629 00:31:20,692 --> 00:31:22,068 (BELL RINGS) 630 00:31:22,152 --> 00:31:23,570 Uh, telegram came for you. 631 00:31:26,198 --> 00:31:27,741 -(WOOLF GROANS) -Bad news? 632 00:31:27,824 --> 00:31:28,825 It's the studio. 633 00:31:28,909 --> 00:31:30,869 Grace Kelly's doing a Hitchcock picture for Warner, 634 00:31:30,952 --> 00:31:32,704 so it's Dial M for Maybe Next Time. 635 00:31:32,787 --> 00:31:34,331 -Grace Kelly? -Yes. 636 00:31:34,414 --> 00:31:35,624 For the part you promised Sheila? 637 00:31:35,707 --> 00:31:36,917 Yes, that's right. 638 00:31:37,918 --> 00:31:40,253 Which is why this is such good news. 639 00:31:40,337 --> 00:31:41,338 (WOMAN CLEARS THROAT) 640 00:31:42,672 --> 00:31:43,757 Ann? 641 00:31:44,090 --> 00:31:45,091 Darling, what's the matter? 642 00:31:45,175 --> 00:31:47,552 You do know a promise is only a promise if you keep it. 643 00:31:47,636 --> 00:31:48,637 What do you mean? 644 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,013 I mean you promised me a night out months ago. 645 00:31:50,096 --> 00:31:51,306 I have been so busy lately. 646 00:31:51,389 --> 00:31:52,557 Yes, I know. I am your assistant. 647 00:31:52,641 --> 00:31:54,351 I promise, as soon as I have a moment to spare... 648 00:31:54,434 --> 00:31:55,894 Well, you're free on Wednesday. 649 00:31:55,977 --> 00:31:57,562 -Am I? Are you sure? -Mmm. Yes. 650 00:31:57,646 --> 00:31:59,189 -I thought I was... -No. 651 00:31:59,356 --> 00:32:00,815 No, well, you should know. 652 00:32:00,982 --> 00:32:02,734 You are my assistant, after all. 653 00:32:02,817 --> 00:32:04,486 Well, that's settled, then. It's a date. 654 00:32:04,569 --> 00:32:05,779 I promise I will take you out. 655 00:32:05,862 --> 00:32:07,489 I'm afraid, Mr. Woolf, you really must be going now, 656 00:32:07,572 --> 00:32:08,657 otherwise you'll be late. 657 00:32:08,740 --> 00:32:10,408 -Ah, right. Thank you. -Mmm. 658 00:32:11,576 --> 00:32:12,577 No, I'm serious. 659 00:32:12,661 --> 00:32:13,787 You do actually need to get back to Romulus. 660 00:32:13,870 --> 00:32:15,121 -Oh. Right. Okay. Yes. -Yes. 661 00:32:23,129 --> 00:32:24,172 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 662 00:32:24,256 --> 00:32:26,466 This is exciting, isn't it, sir? 663 00:32:27,217 --> 00:32:28,343 I'd say this is the type of thing 664 00:32:28,426 --> 00:32:30,553 that made you want to become a police officer, was it? 665 00:32:33,139 --> 00:32:37,519 (SMACKS LIPS) Me? I just sort of fell into it, really. 666 00:32:38,645 --> 00:32:41,856 They needed people after the war, and I needed the money, so... 667 00:32:41,940 --> 00:32:43,316 (STOPPARD SIGHS) 668 00:32:43,441 --> 00:32:45,860 No, it's true. The hours can be unsociable, 669 00:32:45,944 --> 00:32:48,321 but I can't type or stand the sight of blood, 670 00:32:48,405 --> 00:32:50,949 so that ruled out secretary for me. 671 00:32:51,032 --> 00:32:52,033 STOPPARD: Mmm. 672 00:32:57,205 --> 00:32:58,873 You don't mind if I pick your brains, do you, sir? 673 00:32:58,957 --> 00:33:00,875 Only I have sergeants' exams in a month, 674 00:33:00,959 --> 00:33:03,420 and I just have one or two questions that I'd love to run by you. 675 00:33:03,503 --> 00:33:04,504 -Um... -Actually, Constable, 676 00:33:04,587 --> 00:33:06,506 I've just remembered that I have a, uh... 677 00:33:06,756 --> 00:33:08,842 -(DOOR SHUTS) -...dentist appointment. 678 00:33:08,925 --> 00:33:11,469 Oh. Sorry, sir. I didn't know you were suffering. 679 00:33:11,636 --> 00:33:12,804 Just a routine checkup. 680 00:33:12,887 --> 00:33:14,472 -What shall I do, sir? -Wait here. 681 00:33:14,556 --> 00:33:16,474 But what if Woolf turns up, sir? 682 00:33:17,058 --> 00:33:19,519 Won't be long. And you have your, uh, 683 00:33:19,602 --> 00:33:20,603 notebook. 684 00:33:23,356 --> 00:33:25,483 -Keep your eyes peeled. -Yes, sir. 685 00:33:25,942 --> 00:33:26,943 (CLEARS THROAT) 686 00:33:33,158 --> 00:33:34,743 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 687 00:33:34,826 --> 00:33:37,245 (STEALTHY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 688 00:33:55,722 --> 00:33:56,723 -Gin. -BARTENDER: Gin? 689 00:33:56,806 --> 00:33:58,141 Yeah, please. 690 00:34:09,110 --> 00:34:10,779 (WHISPERS) Oh, you're joking. 691 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:15,325 Oh, no. 692 00:34:16,076 --> 00:34:17,243 (STALKER SIGHS) 693 00:34:20,997 --> 00:34:22,457 -(PENCIL SNAPS) -Oh, God. 694 00:34:24,167 --> 00:34:25,251 (SIGHS) 695 00:34:25,335 --> 00:34:27,754 (UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 696 00:34:40,892 --> 00:34:42,769 Follow this up with another, please. 697 00:35:07,085 --> 00:35:08,920 (DOORBELLS RINGING) 698 00:35:13,675 --> 00:35:15,885 (MELODIC WHISTLING) 699 00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:19,013 -(STOPS WHISTLING) -(MUSIC STOPS) 700 00:35:24,269 --> 00:35:25,437 (STOPPARD GRUNTS) 701 00:35:26,020 --> 00:35:27,397 There you are, Constable. 702 00:35:28,982 --> 00:35:31,067 I've been looking all over for you. 703 00:35:33,945 --> 00:35:36,239 STOPPARD: So, I gather it was you that, uh, paid 704 00:35:36,322 --> 00:35:39,951 for Mr. Kopernick's rather extravagant hotel suite. 705 00:35:40,034 --> 00:35:42,120 Oh, nothing unusual in that, Inspector. 706 00:35:42,662 --> 00:35:47,292 I'm afraid a producer is expected to indulge the whims of the talent. 707 00:35:47,375 --> 00:35:50,253 Especially when they're American. 708 00:35:50,336 --> 00:35:53,173 But still, a pretty penny, a room at the Savoy. 709 00:35:53,256 --> 00:35:54,340 Par for the course. 710 00:35:54,424 --> 00:35:57,677 When I was in the Congo for The African Queen, 711 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,181 Huston and Bogart refused to drink the water. 712 00:36:01,890 --> 00:36:04,976 Insisted on bourbon, even to brush their teeth. (CHUCKLES) 713 00:36:05,059 --> 00:36:07,896 Not so easy to get hold of in the jungle, I can assure you. 714 00:36:08,438 --> 00:36:12,025 Huh. You know, Constable Stalker here is a great admirer of that film. 715 00:36:12,108 --> 00:36:13,276 Aren't you, Constable? 716 00:36:15,737 --> 00:36:17,238 It's a marvelous film, sir. 717 00:36:17,405 --> 00:36:19,282 Why, thank you, Constable. 718 00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:21,117 (CHUCKLES DRYLY) Encyclopedia. 719 00:36:21,201 --> 00:36:22,994 Cinematic encyclopedia up there. 720 00:36:23,077 --> 00:36:24,579 -I wouldn't say that. -Yeah. 721 00:36:24,787 --> 00:36:25,914 Right. 722 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,373 -Being humble. -(WOOLF CHUCKLES) 723 00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:28,875 I'm not. 724 00:36:29,042 --> 00:36:31,377 So, it's not true that Kopernick had dirt on you? 725 00:36:34,005 --> 00:36:35,215 (SCOFFS) 726 00:36:37,383 --> 00:36:38,885 Who told you that? 727 00:36:39,093 --> 00:36:40,720 (DRUM INTRO MUSIC PLAYING) 728 00:36:43,932 --> 00:36:46,226 (BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 729 00:36:48,436 --> 00:36:49,979 (LIVELY CHATTER) 730 00:36:58,363 --> 00:36:59,906 (ANN CHUCKLING) 731 00:36:59,989 --> 00:37:02,575 Well, now, what do we have here? 732 00:37:02,659 --> 00:37:04,369 (ALL CHUCKLE POLITELY) 733 00:37:04,661 --> 00:37:06,329 Huh, Woolfie? 734 00:37:06,663 --> 00:37:08,289 Sittin' in a quiet corner, 735 00:37:08,373 --> 00:37:10,208 -all very nice and intimate. -(ANN CLEARS THROAT) 736 00:37:10,792 --> 00:37:12,210 Hmm? 737 00:37:12,377 --> 00:37:14,671 Say, you wouldn't mind if I joined you, would you? 738 00:37:14,754 --> 00:37:16,506 (CHUCKLES) Not at all, old boy. 739 00:37:16,589 --> 00:37:17,590 LEO: Uh-huh. 740 00:37:18,174 --> 00:37:21,511 And you must be Mrs. Woolf, huh? 741 00:37:21,594 --> 00:37:23,596 Swell to make your acquaintance. 742 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,516 -(ANN MUMBLES) -No, no. Leo, this is Ann. 743 00:37:26,599 --> 00:37:28,017 (CLEARS THROAT) She's my assistant. 744 00:37:28,101 --> 00:37:29,102 Ah. 745 00:37:30,603 --> 00:37:31,854 Workin' late, huh? 746 00:37:33,982 --> 00:37:35,066 If you'll excuse me... 747 00:37:35,149 --> 00:37:36,776 Um, I'm sorry. 748 00:37:39,487 --> 00:37:40,822 You have a nice night, now. 749 00:37:43,866 --> 00:37:45,451 (SIGHS) Well, now. 750 00:37:46,703 --> 00:37:49,455 (TUTS) This puts me in a tough spot. 751 00:37:49,706 --> 00:37:51,833 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 752 00:37:51,916 --> 00:37:54,377 That I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take advantage of. 753 00:37:57,005 --> 00:37:59,716 WOOLF: He asked to be put up at the Savoy, and I agreed. 754 00:38:00,592 --> 00:38:02,510 I knew it wouldn't be for long. 755 00:38:03,052 --> 00:38:05,638 That is, just until I found the right moment to... 756 00:38:07,390 --> 00:38:08,474 tell my wife. 757 00:38:10,476 --> 00:38:12,270 I see. Well, 758 00:38:13,229 --> 00:38:15,231 we'll be in touch if there's anything else. 759 00:38:15,982 --> 00:38:17,108 Uh... 760 00:38:17,942 --> 00:38:19,277 Constable. 761 00:38:19,652 --> 00:38:20,737 Shall we? 762 00:38:28,453 --> 00:38:32,040 But, sir, Woolf killed Kopernick to hush up the affair. Case closed. 763 00:38:32,123 --> 00:38:33,416 I think if that was the case, 764 00:38:33,499 --> 00:38:35,126 he wouldn't have volunteered the information. 765 00:38:36,294 --> 00:38:38,421 So, then he's in the clear? 766 00:38:38,504 --> 00:38:39,505 No, not necessarily. 767 00:38:39,589 --> 00:38:41,799 He might have killed Kopernick for another reason entirely. 768 00:38:42,550 --> 00:38:44,719 STALKER: (SIGHS) I tell you, 769 00:38:45,178 --> 00:38:47,930 I'll never get the hang of this in time for sergeants' exams. 770 00:38:48,723 --> 00:38:51,142 -(KEYS RATTLING) -(STOPPARD SIGHS DEEPLY) 771 00:38:54,020 --> 00:38:55,271 Constable, about earlier. 772 00:38:55,355 --> 00:38:57,982 I know it looked like I'd just come out of the pub. 773 00:38:58,066 --> 00:38:59,984 You had just come out of the pub. 774 00:39:00,068 --> 00:39:01,611 That's right. 775 00:39:01,694 --> 00:39:03,112 But I'd only gone in there 776 00:39:03,196 --> 00:39:04,864 to get rid of the taste of the mouthwash. 777 00:39:04,947 --> 00:39:06,699 So you had a gin, sir. 778 00:39:08,076 --> 00:39:10,036 It's an antiseptic. I had a filling. 779 00:39:10,119 --> 00:39:12,080 I thought you said it was a routine checkup. 780 00:39:13,873 --> 00:39:17,126 I see we've read the chapter on interrogation techniques. 781 00:39:17,752 --> 00:39:19,504 (SIGHS) Sir, 782 00:39:19,754 --> 00:39:22,215 I know I haven't done anything yet to impress you 783 00:39:22,298 --> 00:39:25,718 or to inspire any confidence, and... 784 00:39:26,844 --> 00:39:29,013 I know you'd probably rather that I wasn't on the case. 785 00:39:29,097 --> 00:39:32,392 But I didn't ask to be put on this case either, sir. 786 00:39:32,475 --> 00:39:36,938 I was nervous, and I still am, and I'm probably trying a bit too hard. 787 00:39:37,021 --> 00:39:39,524 But, you know, even if I do make mistakes 788 00:39:39,607 --> 00:39:40,942 or if I jump to conclusions 789 00:39:41,025 --> 00:39:43,903 or talk a little bit too much, that has been said, 790 00:39:43,986 --> 00:39:48,074 I just want you to know that you can trust me. 791 00:39:49,075 --> 00:39:50,076 Sir. 792 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,791 Okay. Good. Um... 793 00:40:00,503 --> 00:40:01,587 (ENGINE STARTS) 794 00:40:02,505 --> 00:40:04,924 (SLOW-TEMPO ROCK SONG PLAYING) 795 00:40:50,178 --> 00:40:51,179 (SWITCH CLICKS) 796 00:40:59,812 --> 00:41:02,023 -(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) -(ALARM RINGING) 797 00:41:05,067 --> 00:41:06,068 (ALARM STOPS RINGING) 798 00:41:06,611 --> 00:41:07,695 (STOPPARD GROANS) 799 00:41:17,288 --> 00:41:19,457 -(WHISPERS) Oh, you're joking. -(CAR DOOR CLOSES) 800 00:41:20,374 --> 00:41:22,335 -Constable. -Commissioner. 801 00:41:22,502 --> 00:41:23,503 Stoppard about? 802 00:41:23,753 --> 00:41:25,797 Er, no, sir. He's not yet made it in this morning. 803 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,089 It's almost eleven o'clock. 804 00:41:27,298 --> 00:41:29,884 He, uh... He had a dentist appointment, sir. 805 00:41:29,967 --> 00:41:31,677 A filling, I think he said it was. 806 00:41:31,761 --> 00:41:32,762 A molar, it might have been? 807 00:41:32,845 --> 00:41:35,556 I have been summoned to the Home Secretary. 808 00:41:35,723 --> 00:41:37,016 He wants a debrief. 809 00:41:37,183 --> 00:41:38,601 I said I had good news. 810 00:41:43,231 --> 00:41:44,398 (COMMISSIONER SIGHS) 811 00:41:45,817 --> 00:41:48,486 -Have you seen the play, sir? -Huh? 812 00:41:49,654 --> 00:41:51,322 Oh. Yes. 813 00:41:51,489 --> 00:41:53,407 I'm afraid I took the wife for her birthday. 814 00:41:53,533 --> 00:41:54,534 Oh. 815 00:41:54,659 --> 00:41:56,202 Of course, it didn't fool me for a moment. 816 00:41:56,285 --> 00:41:57,495 I knew who did it right away. 817 00:41:58,579 --> 00:42:01,207 -(CHUCKLES) -She was baffled, though. 818 00:42:01,374 --> 00:42:03,751 Even after the chap explained everything. 819 00:42:03,918 --> 00:42:07,046 It was a trying night for all concerned. 820 00:42:07,296 --> 00:42:08,464 STALKER: Mmm. 821 00:42:08,548 --> 00:42:09,841 I'll stick to flowers in future. 822 00:42:10,049 --> 00:42:11,843 Yes, always a safe bet, sir. 823 00:42:11,926 --> 00:42:13,803 -(TIRES SCREECH) -(CAR BUMPS) 824 00:42:14,554 --> 00:42:15,596 STOPPARD: Sorry. 825 00:42:15,763 --> 00:42:16,764 Police. 826 00:42:16,931 --> 00:42:18,808 MAN: Please try to be more careful, sir. 827 00:42:20,685 --> 00:42:22,061 (STOPPARD CLEARS THROAT) 828 00:42:26,482 --> 00:42:27,859 STOPPARD: Good morning. 829 00:42:28,609 --> 00:42:30,236 -Commissioner. -COMMISSIONER: Inspector. 830 00:42:32,029 --> 00:42:33,406 Is it wise to eat so many mints? 831 00:42:33,489 --> 00:42:34,490 STOPPARD: How do you mean, sir? 832 00:42:35,074 --> 00:42:38,160 Well, haven't you just been to the dentist? 833 00:42:40,204 --> 00:42:41,414 Yes, that's right, sir. 834 00:42:41,497 --> 00:42:42,999 Yeah. It was just a checkup. 835 00:42:45,209 --> 00:42:47,378 Although I did have a filling as well. 836 00:42:48,170 --> 00:42:49,630 Since I was there. 837 00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:51,799 I've come down here for an update, Inspector. 838 00:42:51,883 --> 00:42:53,301 We have good news, sir. 839 00:42:53,384 --> 00:42:54,760 COMMISSIONER AND STOPPARD: We do? 840 00:42:54,844 --> 00:42:56,470 Yes, sir. Isn't that what you told the Home Secretary? 841 00:42:56,846 --> 00:42:59,265 Yes, that's what I told the Home Secretary 842 00:42:59,348 --> 00:43:00,892 on the telephone. 843 00:43:00,975 --> 00:43:02,560 I came down here to get it. 844 00:43:03,686 --> 00:43:05,313 So we don't have good news? 845 00:43:05,396 --> 00:43:06,522 We do have a witness, sir. 846 00:43:06,689 --> 00:43:07,815 -To the murder? -(CHUCKLES) 847 00:43:07,899 --> 00:43:10,067 Yeah, that would be nice, wouldn't it? (CHUCKLES) 848 00:43:10,151 --> 00:43:12,653 Um, no. One of the ushers saw a suspicious character. 849 00:43:13,237 --> 00:43:14,822 He's waiting for us inside. 850 00:43:15,615 --> 00:43:16,991 Very well. 851 00:43:17,158 --> 00:43:20,369 I'll tell the Home Secretary we have a promising lead. 852 00:43:20,536 --> 00:43:22,955 And I'll rely on you not to make a liar out of me. 853 00:43:23,915 --> 00:43:25,374 -Constable. -Commissioner. 854 00:43:25,541 --> 00:43:26,834 Inspector. 855 00:43:27,209 --> 00:43:28,210 Commissioner. 856 00:43:30,838 --> 00:43:31,839 Constable. 857 00:43:32,006 --> 00:43:33,007 Inspector. 858 00:43:36,385 --> 00:43:37,970 STOPPARD: So, Dennis, um, 859 00:43:38,137 --> 00:43:40,264 I understand that you saw something the other night. 860 00:43:40,431 --> 00:43:42,308 -Yeah. -What'd you see? 861 00:43:42,475 --> 00:43:45,269 Well, I'd gone to get a bottle of Scotch for the dead man. 862 00:43:45,353 --> 00:43:49,357 Um... This was before, you know, he died. 863 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,983 -Um... -And then you came back, 864 00:43:51,067 --> 00:43:52,860 and that's when you saw the suspicious character? 865 00:43:53,027 --> 00:43:54,028 Exactly. 866 00:43:54,195 --> 00:43:56,155 Well, sort of. 867 00:43:56,322 --> 00:43:58,991 I didn't get a very good look, if I'm honest. 868 00:43:59,158 --> 00:44:02,536 He had on, like, a darkish overcoat. 869 00:44:02,703 --> 00:44:04,789 I see. Anything else? 870 00:44:05,247 --> 00:44:06,332 (INHALES SHARPLY) 871 00:44:06,624 --> 00:44:08,709 A pair of trousers. 872 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,628 And a hat. 873 00:44:10,795 --> 00:44:12,588 It was on his head. 874 00:44:13,339 --> 00:44:14,840 Right. Yeah. 875 00:44:15,049 --> 00:44:17,510 Yeah. A soft, felt hat. 876 00:44:17,843 --> 00:44:19,053 STALKER: Mmm-hmm. 877 00:44:19,136 --> 00:44:20,346 What about a physical description? 878 00:44:20,513 --> 00:44:23,265 Was he a tall man? Short? Thick set? 879 00:44:23,474 --> 00:44:25,518 Oh... Just average, I'd say. 880 00:44:25,685 --> 00:44:27,687 STOPPARD: Average height or average build? 881 00:44:27,979 --> 00:44:29,230 Um... 882 00:44:29,814 --> 00:44:31,023 Both? 883 00:44:31,899 --> 00:44:33,025 No, don't ask me. 884 00:44:33,192 --> 00:44:35,194 I don't know. I'm asking you. 885 00:44:36,737 --> 00:44:38,239 Average height, 886 00:44:39,156 --> 00:44:40,282 medium build. 887 00:44:40,491 --> 00:44:42,535 Would you say like the Inspector? 888 00:44:42,618 --> 00:44:43,703 DENNIS: Yeah. 889 00:44:43,786 --> 00:44:45,079 Suppose so. Pretty much. 890 00:44:45,162 --> 00:44:47,707 So what did he do that made you suspicious? 891 00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:50,626 It wasn't so much what he did, 892 00:44:50,710 --> 00:44:53,671 it was more, you know, the way he did it. 893 00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:56,298 Right. How'd he do it? 894 00:44:56,716 --> 00:44:58,968 Well, sort of... 895 00:45:00,094 --> 00:45:01,554 suspiciously. 896 00:45:05,808 --> 00:45:07,309 This has been great. 897 00:45:07,893 --> 00:45:09,228 Off you go. 898 00:45:10,146 --> 00:45:11,397 -Thank you. 899 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:12,481 Thank you. 900 00:45:14,316 --> 00:45:15,317 That was good. 901 00:45:15,484 --> 00:45:17,903 Do you think that went well? 902 00:45:19,363 --> 00:45:20,781 STOPPARD: I think it's time we talk to that actor 903 00:45:20,865 --> 00:45:21,866 who had a fight with Kopernick. 904 00:45:21,949 --> 00:45:23,325 STALKER: Mr. Attenborough, sir? 905 00:45:23,409 --> 00:45:25,411 STOPPARD: That's the one. Famous, is he? 906 00:45:25,578 --> 00:45:28,581 You're pulling my leg, sir. You've never heard of Dickie? 907 00:45:28,664 --> 00:45:29,915 Richard Attenborough? 908 00:45:29,999 --> 00:45:32,752 Pinkie Brown? Brighton Rock? You must have. 909 00:45:32,835 --> 00:45:34,545 (MIMICKING DICKIE) "You wanted a recording of my voice. 910 00:45:34,628 --> 00:45:35,629 "Well, here it is. 911 00:45:35,713 --> 00:45:37,256 "What you want me to say is 'I love you.'" 912 00:45:37,339 --> 00:45:40,634 Keep in mind that we're here to conduct an interview 913 00:45:40,718 --> 00:45:41,844 as part of a murder investigation, 914 00:45:41,927 --> 00:45:44,638 not an article for Sight & Sound magazine, yes? 915 00:45:44,847 --> 00:45:45,848 Yes, sir. 916 00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:49,018 -(KNOCKING) -DICKIE: Come in, darling. 917 00:45:51,479 --> 00:45:52,897 Inspector Stoppard. 918 00:45:53,064 --> 00:45:55,941 I say, a real-life detective. 919 00:45:56,108 --> 00:45:58,069 Scotland Yard and everything. 920 00:45:58,235 --> 00:45:59,320 And you are? 921 00:45:59,779 --> 00:46:01,072 (CHUCKLES) 922 00:46:03,449 --> 00:46:05,367 -This is... -(SIGHS IN AWE) 923 00:46:05,534 --> 00:46:07,161 -...Constable Stalker. -(WHISPERS) Stalker. 924 00:46:07,453 --> 00:46:08,454 (STOPPARD GRUNTS) 925 00:46:09,163 --> 00:46:11,123 Oh, I like the way you did that. 926 00:46:11,332 --> 00:46:12,333 Very natural. 927 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,295 I hope you don't mind, sir, but I just want to say bravo. 928 00:46:16,378 --> 00:46:19,548 -And, uh, encore. (CHUCKLING) -DICKIE: Oh. 929 00:46:19,632 --> 00:46:20,633 All right, thank you, Constable. 930 00:46:20,716 --> 00:46:21,967 Yes, thank you, Constable. 931 00:46:22,051 --> 00:46:23,511 Are you a lover of theater? 932 00:46:23,594 --> 00:46:24,970 I can get you tickets if you like. 933 00:46:26,222 --> 00:46:28,265 I would like, sir. Yes. Very much. 934 00:46:29,141 --> 00:46:31,227 DICKIE: It would be good to get a professional take on it. 935 00:46:31,477 --> 00:46:32,478 STALKER: Mmm-hmm. DICKIE: Yeah. 936 00:46:32,561 --> 00:46:33,896 I have so many questions. 937 00:46:34,063 --> 00:46:35,439 I have one or two of my own. 938 00:46:35,773 --> 00:46:37,441 I dare say that you do. 939 00:46:38,359 --> 00:46:43,072 I understand that you and, uh, Kopernick came to blows the night in question. 940 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,991 Was there a particular reason for the ill feeling? 941 00:46:46,075 --> 00:46:48,828 Tell me, Inspector, did you get your limp during the war? 942 00:46:51,664 --> 00:46:52,665 It's very slight. 943 00:46:52,748 --> 00:46:54,166 I noticed it the other night 944 00:46:54,250 --> 00:46:56,418 when you were on stage. I, um... (TUTS) 945 00:46:56,502 --> 00:46:59,171 Well, I thought I might borrow it, if you don't mind. 946 00:46:59,255 --> 00:47:02,550 It's always good for the lead character to have a physical defect. 947 00:47:02,633 --> 00:47:05,219 Speaks to a troubled soul. 948 00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,806 It was me, Inspector. You need look no further. 949 00:47:08,973 --> 00:47:09,974 I arrest you 950 00:47:10,057 --> 00:47:11,267 -for the murder of Leo... -No, no, no. 951 00:47:11,350 --> 00:47:12,560 No. Not yet. 952 00:47:12,643 --> 00:47:13,811 STALKER: Oh. Sorry, sir. 953 00:47:13,894 --> 00:47:16,730 I was the particular reason for the ill feeling. 954 00:47:16,814 --> 00:47:19,400 Yes, well, Leo had his eye on Sheila, you see. 955 00:47:19,483 --> 00:47:20,484 And I took exception. 956 00:47:20,568 --> 00:47:22,403 He was a real hound, Inspector. 957 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,531 (DRAMATIC MUSIC INTRO PLAYING) 958 00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:27,950 LEO: Come on, play nice. 959 00:47:28,159 --> 00:47:29,160 Maybe I can help you. 960 00:47:29,994 --> 00:47:31,036 Help me? 961 00:47:31,203 --> 00:47:32,204 To do what? 962 00:47:32,830 --> 00:47:35,166 Bag the lead role in the film of The Mousetrap. 963 00:47:36,750 --> 00:47:38,002 Top billing. 964 00:47:38,085 --> 00:47:39,128 Make you a star. 965 00:47:39,211 --> 00:47:41,630 But I have bagged the lead role. 966 00:47:41,714 --> 00:47:43,257 Yeah, who told you that, Woolfie? 967 00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:45,092 He is the producer. 968 00:47:45,176 --> 00:47:46,677 Honey, he just cuts the checks. 969 00:47:47,052 --> 00:47:48,095 I'm the director. 970 00:47:48,345 --> 00:47:50,806 Without me, there is no movie. You understand? 971 00:47:50,890 --> 00:47:52,683 You got a problem, buddy? 972 00:47:54,101 --> 00:47:55,978 Keep the change. And the glass. 973 00:47:56,312 --> 00:47:58,689 And the studio, don't they have a say in it? 974 00:47:58,856 --> 00:48:02,067 Rumor is they want to put a name in the picture 975 00:48:02,151 --> 00:48:04,111 that people have heard of. 976 00:48:04,612 --> 00:48:06,822 Bona fide Hollywood star. 977 00:48:07,072 --> 00:48:09,658 They like Grace Kelly. You ever heard of her? 978 00:48:13,287 --> 00:48:14,580 Don't worry. 979 00:48:15,581 --> 00:48:17,124 They can be talked round. 980 00:48:18,292 --> 00:48:21,545 I've got a very, uh, silver tongue. 981 00:48:22,379 --> 00:48:24,465 (MUSIC BUILDS UP) 982 00:48:24,548 --> 00:48:26,675 -(DICKIE GRUNTS) -(GUESTS EXCLAIM) 983 00:48:26,759 --> 00:48:27,843 SHEILA: I won't lie, Inspector. 984 00:48:27,927 --> 00:48:29,887 I was not entirely sorry to learn of his demise, 985 00:48:29,970 --> 00:48:31,597 but I had no part in it. 986 00:48:32,014 --> 00:48:34,350 Much like the film adaptation of The Mousetrap, it would seem. 987 00:48:34,433 --> 00:48:35,935 Oh, come now, darling, you don't know that. 988 00:48:36,018 --> 00:48:37,937 Woolf promised you the role. 989 00:48:38,062 --> 00:48:40,147 He's a man of his word. He went to Eton. 990 00:48:40,231 --> 00:48:41,815 (SCOFFS) Wake up, Dickie. 991 00:48:41,899 --> 00:48:43,817 He's a man of whatever word will get his film made. 992 00:48:43,901 --> 00:48:47,655 And that contract business with Choo is coming apart at the seams. 993 00:48:47,738 --> 00:48:49,198 -Choo? -Bless you, sir. 994 00:48:49,365 --> 00:48:51,492 No, as in Petula Spencer. 995 00:48:51,825 --> 00:48:53,911 She sold Woolf the film rights. 996 00:48:54,078 --> 00:48:55,663 Well, about those tickets. 997 00:48:55,746 --> 00:48:57,122 Is there a day that suits you better? 998 00:48:57,206 --> 00:48:59,959 Uh, I'm generally free on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. 999 00:49:00,125 --> 00:49:01,126 And Thursdays. 1000 00:49:01,210 --> 00:49:03,170 Well, thank you, sir. Thank you, madam. 1001 00:49:03,254 --> 00:49:04,964 No, no, not at all. We'll be sure to let you know 1002 00:49:05,047 --> 00:49:06,840 if anything else springs to mind. 1003 00:49:06,924 --> 00:49:09,677 I'm sure it's always the insignificant detail 1004 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,804 that catches the killer in the end. 1005 00:49:11,887 --> 00:49:13,013 Isn't that so, Inspector? 1006 00:49:16,642 --> 00:49:20,312 I don't usually have a lot on on weekends either. 1007 00:49:20,479 --> 00:49:22,982 Or Mondays. For the... For the tickets. 1008 00:49:23,065 --> 00:49:24,108 -STOPPARD: Constable. -Sir. 1009 00:49:24,191 --> 00:49:25,192 Right. 1010 00:49:25,276 --> 00:49:27,444 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1011 00:49:28,279 --> 00:49:29,947 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1012 00:49:34,159 --> 00:49:35,828 (DOG WHIMPERING) 1013 00:49:59,476 --> 00:50:00,769 She'll see you now. 1014 00:50:02,396 --> 00:50:04,481 STOPPARD: So, you own this theater? 1015 00:50:04,565 --> 00:50:06,525 Yes. Humble beginnings. 1016 00:50:06,608 --> 00:50:07,860 (RAGTIME PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 1017 00:50:07,943 --> 00:50:09,278 You'll have to excuse Mother. 1018 00:50:09,361 --> 00:50:11,864 She's not been herself since Father died, 1019 00:50:11,947 --> 00:50:13,532 in the first Great War. 1020 00:50:14,116 --> 00:50:16,243 It's been a long 30 years. 1021 00:50:16,702 --> 00:50:18,162 It's nice that you gave her a job. 1022 00:50:18,620 --> 00:50:20,706 Well, how else is she gonna pay the rent? 1023 00:50:21,165 --> 00:50:23,208 I let her have the spare room at a discount as it is. 1024 00:50:23,959 --> 00:50:26,045 Yes, no. You can stop there. 1025 00:50:26,295 --> 00:50:28,964 -We get the idea. Bravo. -(PIANO MUSIC STOPS) 1026 00:50:29,381 --> 00:50:31,091 I understand that you handled the sale 1027 00:50:31,175 --> 00:50:33,177 of The Mousetrap film rights to John Woolf? 1028 00:50:33,385 --> 00:50:35,846 Yes, that's right. I did. Wait... Why? 1029 00:50:36,764 --> 00:50:37,931 What's he been saying? 1030 00:50:38,766 --> 00:50:40,267 Oh, he's such a crybaby. 1031 00:50:41,310 --> 00:50:44,271 Honestly, he acts as though I put a gun to his head. 1032 00:50:44,355 --> 00:50:46,023 (SUSPENSEFUL NOTE PLAYS) 1033 00:50:46,106 --> 00:50:47,107 (POPS) 1034 00:50:47,191 --> 00:50:48,400 ANN AND PETULA: Oh! (LAUGHING) 1035 00:50:48,484 --> 00:50:50,277 Hang on a minute. Is this important? 1036 00:50:50,444 --> 00:50:51,945 I doubt it. What does it say? 1037 00:50:52,029 --> 00:50:54,490 "No motion picture based on the stage play The Mousetrap 1038 00:50:54,573 --> 00:50:55,908 "is to enter into production 1039 00:50:55,991 --> 00:50:58,035 "until a minimum of six months have elapsed 1040 00:50:58,118 --> 00:51:00,079 "since the end of its first theatrical run." 1041 00:51:00,162 --> 00:51:01,872 PETULA: Oh, you don't need to worry about that. 1042 00:51:02,039 --> 00:51:03,040 It's a whodunit. 1043 00:51:03,123 --> 00:51:04,416 As soon as word gets out who did do it, 1044 00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:06,126 audiences are bound to drop off. 1045 00:51:06,210 --> 00:51:10,005 Come on, sign on the dotted line, and I'll make a toast. 1046 00:51:10,089 --> 00:51:11,382 (ANN AND PETULA CHUCKLE) 1047 00:51:14,343 --> 00:51:18,639 Ann, darling, the next contract I sign will be our marriage certificate. 1048 00:51:18,722 --> 00:51:21,308 -(ANN CHUCKLES) -Well, first it'll be the divorce papers. 1049 00:51:21,392 --> 00:51:23,560 But then our marriage certificate. 1050 00:51:25,562 --> 00:51:27,439 -(ANN YELPS) -Edana, darling. 1051 00:51:28,482 --> 00:51:29,483 What a pleasant surprise. 1052 00:51:29,566 --> 00:51:32,027 -You know Choo and, uh... -PETULA: Mmm-hmm. 1053 00:51:32,111 --> 00:51:33,278 -...Ann. -I do. 1054 00:51:33,362 --> 00:51:35,114 Dear girl, what on Earth are you doing down there? 1055 00:51:35,197 --> 00:51:37,574 I just fell over. Excuse me. 1056 00:51:38,450 --> 00:51:41,286 Honestly, it's like having Buster Keaton for an assistant. 1057 00:51:41,370 --> 00:51:43,038 Now, I've just come from Madame Zena... 1058 00:51:43,122 --> 00:51:45,040 Oh, darling, I really wish you wouldn't see that... 1059 00:51:45,124 --> 00:51:46,250 Please don't call her a charlatan. 1060 00:51:46,333 --> 00:51:47,418 I was going to say "crackpot." 1061 00:51:51,463 --> 00:51:53,173 -What's this? -EDANA: It's a Tarot card. 1062 00:51:53,465 --> 00:51:55,134 I can see that. What does it mean? 1063 00:51:55,884 --> 00:51:56,885 Betrayal. 1064 00:51:56,969 --> 00:51:58,971 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1065 00:52:02,808 --> 00:52:03,892 Ooh. 1066 00:52:03,976 --> 00:52:06,478 Betrayal as in his affair, not the contract. 1067 00:52:06,562 --> 00:52:08,564 That was above board. Is above board. 1068 00:52:08,939 --> 00:52:11,400 Agatha insisted on that clause, not me. 1069 00:52:11,483 --> 00:52:14,903 No, she's fiercely protective of her own work, you see, because... 1070 00:52:14,987 --> 00:52:16,530 Well, she has to be. 1071 00:52:16,905 --> 00:52:18,657 People get so riled up. 1072 00:52:18,824 --> 00:52:20,492 She's had death threats, you know. 1073 00:52:20,659 --> 00:52:23,620 Poor girl can't write so much as a letter to The Times 1074 00:52:23,704 --> 00:52:25,372 without a deluge of legal action 1075 00:52:25,456 --> 00:52:28,709 and spurious claims she stole this plot or that character. 1076 00:52:29,001 --> 00:52:30,836 Isn't that what happened here, though? 1077 00:52:30,919 --> 00:52:33,422 Isn't The Mousetrap based on a true story? 1078 00:52:34,465 --> 00:52:37,801 Yes. Well, originally. I mean, tangentially. 1079 00:52:38,343 --> 00:52:39,803 In any case, that's the reason 1080 00:52:39,887 --> 00:52:42,931 Woolf was so keen to shut the theater the other night. 1081 00:52:43,098 --> 00:52:44,433 He can't make his film 1082 00:52:44,516 --> 00:52:47,102 until the play ends its run in the West End. 1083 00:52:47,269 --> 00:52:50,397 As it is, what with the play being such a phenomenal success, 1084 00:52:50,564 --> 00:52:53,317 he's stuck in theatrical purgatory. 1085 00:52:53,609 --> 00:52:54,610 STALKER: Mmm-hmm. 1086 00:52:54,693 --> 00:52:56,320 He's a ruthless customer, is Woolf. 1087 00:52:57,237 --> 00:52:59,823 He'll stop at nothing to get his film made. 1088 00:53:06,038 --> 00:53:07,539 STALKER: It's definitely Woolf, sir. 1089 00:53:08,373 --> 00:53:10,501 Well, not 100%. 1090 00:53:10,584 --> 00:53:14,171 More like 73-74%, I'd say. 1091 00:53:14,963 --> 00:53:18,592 He killed Kopernick in the theater to force it to close down 1092 00:53:18,759 --> 00:53:20,469 so that he could make his film. 1093 00:53:20,636 --> 00:53:22,554 He could marry his mistress. 1094 00:53:22,721 --> 00:53:24,515 And then he could get shot of a blackmailer. 1095 00:53:24,598 --> 00:53:26,308 It's not Woolf. It's too elaborate. 1096 00:53:26,391 --> 00:53:28,393 Burn the place down, if that's what you want. 1097 00:53:28,477 --> 00:53:30,896 Besides, doesn't he need a director to make a film? 1098 00:53:31,855 --> 00:53:33,357 Well, then it's back to Cocker-Norris. 1099 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:34,775 Process of elimination. 1100 00:53:35,567 --> 00:53:36,944 No, it's not Mervyn. 1101 00:53:37,027 --> 00:53:38,862 Yeah, but the tongue business. 1102 00:53:39,655 --> 00:53:41,573 And he clearly didn't like Leo, did he? 1103 00:53:44,451 --> 00:53:46,119 People don't rip out other people's tongues 1104 00:53:46,203 --> 00:53:47,412 because of creative differences. 1105 00:53:47,496 --> 00:53:48,997 They do it out of revenge 1106 00:53:49,998 --> 00:53:51,667 or rage because they've lost a loved one. 1107 00:53:51,750 --> 00:53:52,834 They can't forgive or forget, 1108 00:53:52,918 --> 00:53:55,379 so they just stew and fester alone in the dark 1109 00:53:55,462 --> 00:53:59,299 until finally it all comes out in a sudden, frenzied act of violence. 1110 00:54:04,805 --> 00:54:07,766 How did you get the limp, sir? If you don't mind me asking. 1111 00:54:08,141 --> 00:54:11,144 Uh, in the war. Got shot in the Italian Alps. 1112 00:54:11,228 --> 00:54:12,229 STALKER: Hmm. 1113 00:54:13,772 --> 00:54:14,982 Sounds painful. 1114 00:54:16,441 --> 00:54:18,443 What do you... (LAUGHS) 1115 00:54:18,527 --> 00:54:20,821 (CHUCKLES) Sorry, sir. 1116 00:54:20,904 --> 00:54:23,073 No, that's very funny. 1117 00:54:24,783 --> 00:54:27,035 Is there a Mr. Stalker, Stalker? 1118 00:54:27,619 --> 00:54:29,913 Uh, I'm afraid he died in the war, sir. 1119 00:54:31,832 --> 00:54:32,833 Children? 1120 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,001 A boy and a girl. 1121 00:54:34,501 --> 00:54:36,128 -Can't be easy. -(CHUCKLES) 1122 00:54:36,628 --> 00:54:39,298 What about you? Do you have any family, sir? 1123 00:54:39,381 --> 00:54:42,050 (SMACKS LIPS) Uh, I came close, once. 1124 00:54:42,134 --> 00:54:43,927 Yeah, I had an unfaithful wife. 1125 00:54:44,011 --> 00:54:45,012 Oh. 1126 00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:48,890 She was eight months pregnant when she told me I wasn't the father. 1127 00:54:50,767 --> 00:54:52,853 I'd made a cot and everything. 1128 00:54:53,979 --> 00:54:56,189 That's awful, sir. I'm sorry. 1129 00:54:57,399 --> 00:54:58,609 (GRUNTS DISMISSIVELY) 1130 00:54:59,484 --> 00:55:01,236 -Landlord. -LANDLORD: Yes, sir? 1131 00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:02,321 Another round. 1132 00:55:02,696 --> 00:55:03,697 Oh, I don't know. 1133 00:55:03,780 --> 00:55:05,991 Should we maybe get going, sir? 1134 00:55:06,074 --> 00:55:07,534 Got work tomorrow. (CHUCKLES) 1135 00:55:07,618 --> 00:55:10,203 -(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) -(DOOR OPENS) 1136 00:55:10,287 --> 00:55:12,914 LANDLORD: Go on, steer off before I call the police! 1137 00:55:12,998 --> 00:55:13,999 (STALKER GRUNTS) 1138 00:55:14,875 --> 00:55:16,543 STALKER: Sorry again. Thank you. 1139 00:55:17,419 --> 00:55:19,338 Are you sure you're all right to drive, sir? 1140 00:55:19,421 --> 00:55:20,547 STOPPARD: Absolutely. 1141 00:55:20,631 --> 00:55:21,632 STALKER: Oh! 1142 00:55:21,715 --> 00:55:23,800 STOPPARD: I could run you home if you like. 1143 00:55:24,801 --> 00:55:27,387 (MELLOW MUSIC CONTINUES) 1144 00:55:37,814 --> 00:55:40,859 STALKER: Now. Just gonna pop you there. 1145 00:55:41,777 --> 00:55:43,654 (SLURRING) I can take it from here, Constable. 1146 00:55:47,324 --> 00:55:48,617 Oh. 1147 00:55:48,700 --> 00:55:49,701 Sir. 1148 00:55:56,333 --> 00:55:57,334 There we go. 1149 00:56:02,714 --> 00:56:04,257 (PANTING) 1150 00:56:08,929 --> 00:56:11,014 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1151 00:56:40,752 --> 00:56:41,920 (SWITCH CLICKS) 1152 00:56:48,593 --> 00:56:51,054 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES) 1153 00:56:56,143 --> 00:56:58,145 (MUSIC INTENSIFYING) 1154 00:57:07,028 --> 00:57:08,071 (MUSIC FADES) 1155 00:57:13,452 --> 00:57:14,619 STALKER: Morning, sir. 1156 00:57:15,746 --> 00:57:16,747 What do you want? 1157 00:57:17,539 --> 00:57:20,876 Uh, the other night, sir. The dead Yank. 1158 00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:24,087 Inspector Stoppard got the call and not Leeke or Priestley. 1159 00:57:25,005 --> 00:57:26,006 So? 1160 00:57:32,345 --> 00:57:34,347 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1161 00:57:35,766 --> 00:57:38,018 Leeke was in Skegness on his honeymoon, 1162 00:57:38,101 --> 00:57:40,145 and Priestley took the Rillington Place call. 1163 00:57:42,397 --> 00:57:43,398 What time? 1164 00:57:45,025 --> 00:57:48,153 Half-past 11:00. Book at Bedtime was on. 1165 00:57:53,992 --> 00:57:56,369 Did you ever meet Stoppard's wife, sir? 1166 00:57:57,162 --> 00:57:58,246 I did. 1167 00:57:58,330 --> 00:58:00,207 You don't happen to remember her name, do you? 1168 00:58:07,380 --> 00:58:08,507 It was... 1169 00:58:10,592 --> 00:58:12,260 Mrs. Stoppard. 1170 00:58:14,971 --> 00:58:15,972 Brilliant. 1171 00:58:21,228 --> 00:58:23,230 (ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING) 1172 00:58:33,490 --> 00:58:35,033 Hello, is this Abigale? 1173 00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:38,286 Hello, is this Beryl? 1174 00:58:38,453 --> 00:58:40,580 I am a friend of Leo Kopernick's. 1175 00:58:40,664 --> 00:58:41,998 (LINE DISCONNECTS) 1176 00:58:42,082 --> 00:58:43,083 Beryl? 1177 00:58:44,709 --> 00:58:46,586 Is Geraldine there by any chance? 1178 00:58:47,587 --> 00:58:48,672 (SIGHS) 1179 00:59:13,947 --> 00:59:15,282 STOPPARD: Oh, Constable. STALKER: Sir. 1180 00:59:15,949 --> 00:59:18,285 Did Dickie ever come through on those theater tickets? 1181 00:59:18,368 --> 00:59:21,079 I thought of going, and, uh... Maybe the play's the thing 1182 00:59:21,830 --> 00:59:25,041 Ties this all together. Would you like to tag along? 1183 00:59:25,375 --> 00:59:26,793 -Yes, sir. Um... -(DOOR OPENS) 1184 00:59:28,879 --> 00:59:29,880 What is it, Constable? 1185 00:59:30,422 --> 00:59:32,090 -Uh, nothing, sir. -Oh. 1186 00:59:33,008 --> 00:59:35,260 Do you, um, want a cup of tea? 1187 00:59:35,927 --> 00:59:38,096 (SIGHS) Listen to me, Stalker. 1188 00:59:38,638 --> 00:59:42,559 No one is ever going to take you seriously as a police officer 1189 00:59:42,642 --> 00:59:44,269 if you act like a tea-lady, do you hear me? 1190 00:59:44,352 --> 00:59:45,812 Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. (CHUCKLES) 1191 00:59:45,896 --> 00:59:47,397 Milk and two sugars. 1192 00:59:51,902 --> 00:59:52,903 Commissioner. 1193 00:59:52,986 --> 00:59:56,072 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1194 01:00:00,493 --> 01:00:01,828 I said, "Who do you want? 1195 01:00:01,912 --> 01:00:04,664 "Agatha Christie or Mervyn Cocker-Norris? 1196 01:00:04,748 --> 01:00:07,542 "Anyone can do her, but only I can do me." 1197 01:00:07,626 --> 01:00:09,836 GIO: Stronzo. (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) 1198 01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:13,590 MERVYN: The Mousetrap in the house style, as it were. 1199 01:00:13,673 --> 01:00:15,383 I'll take the bare bones of the story, 1200 01:00:15,467 --> 01:00:19,304 a rather mundane tale of child abuse, and make it my own. 1201 01:00:23,183 --> 01:00:24,184 Here we are. 1202 01:00:24,809 --> 01:00:27,312 Oh. These aren't together, sir. 1203 01:00:27,395 --> 01:00:28,563 Oh. 1204 01:00:28,647 --> 01:00:30,565 Well, we can cover more ground that way. 1205 01:00:30,732 --> 01:00:31,816 Keep your eyes peeled. 1206 01:00:31,900 --> 01:00:32,943 Yes, sir. 1207 01:00:33,610 --> 01:00:35,278 (AUDIENCE CHATTERING) 1208 01:00:40,617 --> 01:00:42,619 (ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING) 1209 01:00:43,411 --> 01:00:44,537 STOPPARD: Cheers. 1210 01:00:55,382 --> 01:00:56,383 (MUSIC FADES) 1211 01:00:57,342 --> 01:00:58,343 SHEILA: (AS MOLLIE) Hello? 1212 01:01:01,721 --> 01:01:02,722 Hello? 1213 01:01:03,473 --> 01:01:05,725 -Is anyone there? -(PHONE RINGING) 1214 01:01:05,809 --> 01:01:08,144 MRS. BOYLE: Who's calling at this late hour? 1215 01:01:09,354 --> 01:01:10,355 MOLLIE: Yes? 1216 01:01:10,939 --> 01:01:11,940 All right then. 1217 01:01:13,024 --> 01:01:14,776 That was Scotland Yard. 1218 01:01:14,859 --> 01:01:16,736 They're sending out an inspector. 1219 01:01:16,987 --> 01:01:19,948 In this unseasonable blizzard? 1220 01:01:20,031 --> 01:01:22,242 -What on Earth for? -(MOLLIE SCREAMS) 1221 01:01:22,325 --> 01:01:23,910 -(STALKER GASPS) -MAJOR METCALF: Good Lord. 1222 01:01:25,787 --> 01:01:26,830 MOLLIE: Inspector. 1223 01:01:26,913 --> 01:01:27,956 DICKIE: (AS TROTTER) Thank you. 1224 01:01:29,457 --> 01:01:30,458 Good evening. 1225 01:01:32,669 --> 01:01:35,005 I am Detective Sergeant Trotter. 1226 01:01:35,839 --> 01:01:37,215 Please excuse the limp. 1227 01:01:37,382 --> 01:01:40,176 An old war wound playing up in the cold. 1228 01:01:40,343 --> 01:01:42,887 I'm assuming you were warned of my arrival? 1229 01:01:44,347 --> 01:01:47,559 Apropos of nothing, I'm a magistrate. 1230 01:01:47,726 --> 01:01:50,478 Also, he looks too young to be an inspector. 1231 01:01:50,645 --> 01:01:53,690 Well, I'm old enough to remember the Corrigan Case. 1232 01:01:53,857 --> 01:01:56,735 Yes, a dreadful business. 1233 01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:01,364 Two brothers who put their faith in the British social services. 1234 01:02:01,990 --> 01:02:05,076 A sorry tale of abuse that ended in tragedy. 1235 01:02:06,619 --> 01:02:08,204 Yes, it was in all of the papers. 1236 01:02:08,288 --> 01:02:09,956 MERVYN: (SOFTLY) Gio, I can't sit through this again. 1237 01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,875 I'm sorry. Will you excuse me? 1238 01:02:12,042 --> 01:02:15,879 TROTTER: One died, the other left traumatized. 1239 01:02:16,963 --> 01:02:19,382 I shudder to think what an ordeal like that 1240 01:02:19,466 --> 01:02:21,217 might do to a vulnerable mind. 1241 01:02:21,301 --> 01:02:22,302 (WHISPERS) Won't be a moment. 1242 01:02:22,385 --> 01:02:23,928 I'm just going to try and catch Mervyn. 1243 01:02:24,012 --> 01:02:25,722 MOLLIE: Oh, bother. I forgot the tea. 1244 01:02:25,889 --> 01:02:30,560 TROTTER: By God, that has to be the worst cup of tea I've ever had. 1245 01:02:30,643 --> 01:02:32,062 (AUDIENCE CHUCKLES) 1246 01:02:32,145 --> 01:02:33,688 MRS. BOYLE: I agree. 1247 01:02:34,439 --> 01:02:37,859 Did you make it in a teapot or a plant pot? 1248 01:02:37,942 --> 01:02:38,943 STOPPARD: Pardon me. 1249 01:02:39,027 --> 01:02:40,153 -Excuse me. Thank you. Sorry. -MOLLIE: Oh, dear. 1250 01:02:40,403 --> 01:02:41,404 Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry. 1251 01:02:41,488 --> 01:02:44,074 MOLLIE: I've already had another disaster in the kitchen. 1252 01:02:44,824 --> 01:02:48,161 I left out the steak pieces in my steak and kidney pie. 1253 01:02:49,537 --> 01:02:50,663 STOPPARD: Gloves. 1254 01:02:50,747 --> 01:02:52,832 MOLLIE: Kidney pie just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1255 01:02:52,916 --> 01:02:54,459 STOPPARD: Sorry. Excuse me. Pardon me. 1256 01:02:54,542 --> 01:02:55,752 Excuse me. Terribly sorry. 1257 01:02:56,878 --> 01:02:58,546 Bleeding gloves. I'm so sorry. 1258 01:02:58,713 --> 01:03:02,050 There they are. Thank you. Sorry. Sorry. Terribly sorry. 1259 01:03:02,133 --> 01:03:03,134 MAJOR METCALF: I'm beginning to think 1260 01:03:03,218 --> 01:03:04,219 it was a dreadful mistake to skip lunch. 1261 01:03:04,302 --> 01:03:05,512 STOPPARD: Excuse me. 1262 01:03:06,846 --> 01:03:08,681 MOLLIE: I'll open a tin of peas. 1263 01:03:10,850 --> 01:03:13,019 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1264 01:03:45,343 --> 01:03:47,846 ANNOUNCER: (ON RADIO) We interrupt Book at Bedtime 1265 01:03:47,929 --> 01:03:51,558 to warn residents in the Colney Hatch area of London 1266 01:03:51,641 --> 01:03:54,978 to be on the lookout for an escaped lunatic. 1267 01:03:55,061 --> 01:03:56,271 -(SWITCH THUDS) -(GASPS) 1268 01:04:00,441 --> 01:04:01,818 -(SWITCH THUDS) -Hmm. 1269 01:04:03,611 --> 01:04:06,656 (WHISTLING SONG) 1270 01:04:10,743 --> 01:04:11,744 (GASPS) 1271 01:04:11,828 --> 01:04:13,913 (SIGHS IN RELIEF) You startled me. 1272 01:04:14,664 --> 01:04:16,791 (GASPS, CHUCKLES) You startled me. 1273 01:04:16,875 --> 01:04:18,543 (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) 1274 01:04:18,626 --> 01:04:20,795 -(CHOKES) -(MRS. BOYLE GASPS, GRUNTS) 1275 01:04:23,173 --> 01:04:24,215 (MERVYN GRUNTS) 1276 01:04:24,299 --> 01:04:25,842 (STRAINING) 1277 01:04:28,303 --> 01:04:30,638 (BOTH CHOKING) 1278 01:04:33,641 --> 01:04:34,767 (MERVYN GRUNTS) 1279 01:04:34,851 --> 01:04:36,978 (MUSIC RISING) 1280 01:04:37,061 --> 01:04:39,022 (DRAMATIC END NOTE PLAYING) 1281 01:04:46,529 --> 01:04:47,530 (MUSIC FADES) 1282 01:04:52,702 --> 01:04:54,037 Turn the lights on. 1283 01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:56,873 -(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) -(SWITCHES CLICKING) 1284 01:04:59,375 --> 01:05:00,835 (SCREAMS) 1285 01:05:01,669 --> 01:05:04,255 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 1286 01:05:06,049 --> 01:05:07,091 (DOOR OPENS) 1287 01:05:07,175 --> 01:05:08,718 (AUDIENCE CHATTERING) 1288 01:05:09,719 --> 01:05:11,262 (WOMEN SCREAMING) 1289 01:05:12,263 --> 01:05:14,265 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 1290 01:05:19,395 --> 01:05:21,522 Stop in the name of the law! 1291 01:05:31,574 --> 01:05:33,326 (GRUNTS) Bollocks! 1292 01:05:35,912 --> 01:05:37,288 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1293 01:05:37,372 --> 01:05:39,082 DICKIE: Well, that's a good thing. 1294 01:05:39,165 --> 01:05:40,500 The limp, was it too much? (GRUNTS) 1295 01:05:42,001 --> 01:05:43,670 -Oh. -STALKER: Oh, God. 1296 01:05:43,753 --> 01:05:45,880 Oh, sorry, sir. I thought you were somebody else. 1297 01:05:45,964 --> 01:05:47,131 No, no, it's all right. 1298 01:05:47,423 --> 01:05:48,841 And thank you for the tickets. 1299 01:05:48,925 --> 01:05:49,968 Very welcome. 1300 01:05:54,514 --> 01:05:56,140 (MUSIC HALTS) 1301 01:05:57,433 --> 01:06:00,103 (CAT MEOWING IN DISTANCE) 1302 01:06:02,272 --> 01:06:03,606 (STALKER YELLS) 1303 01:06:03,690 --> 01:06:04,691 (THUMP) 1304 01:06:06,567 --> 01:06:08,987 (GASPING) 1305 01:06:13,533 --> 01:06:14,575 (GROANS) 1306 01:06:14,659 --> 01:06:17,078 (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) 1307 01:06:18,079 --> 01:06:20,456 -(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON SNOW) -(SOFT ANIMALS' CALLS) 1308 01:06:24,919 --> 01:06:25,962 (BOTTLES CLINK) 1309 01:06:29,340 --> 01:06:30,800 (RATTLING) 1310 01:06:36,389 --> 01:06:37,724 (STOPPARD SIGHS) 1311 01:06:40,018 --> 01:06:41,144 LEO: There ya go. 1312 01:06:41,436 --> 01:06:42,562 Bottoms up. 1313 01:06:42,729 --> 01:06:43,730 Cheers. 1314 01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:47,400 (EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES) 1315 01:06:48,901 --> 01:06:50,570 What brings you to this neck of the woods? 1316 01:06:50,653 --> 01:06:52,572 Oh, a murder investigation. 1317 01:06:52,739 --> 01:06:54,949 Yeah? Anyone I know? 1318 01:06:56,242 --> 01:06:57,285 You. 1319 01:06:57,368 --> 01:06:58,411 (MUSIC HALTS) 1320 01:06:59,078 --> 01:07:00,079 (SWALLOWS) 1321 01:07:00,955 --> 01:07:02,206 I'm sorry, I thought... 1322 01:07:02,290 --> 01:07:04,459 No, no, no. It's all right. It's all right. Uh... 1323 01:07:06,044 --> 01:07:07,795 Say, uh, Inspector. 1324 01:07:09,172 --> 01:07:11,716 Tell me, was anyone, uh... 1325 01:07:13,468 --> 01:07:15,887 you know, sad to see me go? 1326 01:07:20,058 --> 01:07:21,059 Ah. 1327 01:07:22,393 --> 01:07:23,394 Figures. 1328 01:07:31,652 --> 01:07:33,404 I'm sorry, sir, you can't go in there. 1329 01:07:33,488 --> 01:07:34,489 Ah... 1330 01:07:34,572 --> 01:07:36,074 You can only go in if you have a ticket. 1331 01:07:36,157 --> 01:07:38,034 I had a ticket. It was in my pocket. 1332 01:07:38,659 --> 01:07:41,871 That's... I could have sworn I had on a pair of trousers. 1333 01:07:42,372 --> 01:07:43,623 I had trousers on. 1334 01:07:45,416 --> 01:07:46,459 Where's my ticket? 1335 01:07:46,542 --> 01:07:47,960 -(SIGHS) -I'm sorry, sir. 1336 01:07:48,044 --> 01:07:49,587 I can't let you in unless you have a ticket. 1337 01:07:49,670 --> 01:07:52,048 I had a ticket. I just don't have it on me. 1338 01:07:52,131 --> 01:07:54,175 Let me in! Stop mucking about. 1339 01:07:54,258 --> 01:07:55,676 -I've gotta go in. -No, please, sir. 1340 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:58,346 (MAN WHISTLING THREE BLIND MICE) 1341 01:07:58,721 --> 01:08:00,014 You. I know you. 1342 01:08:01,641 --> 01:08:02,725 What are you doing? 1343 01:08:02,809 --> 01:08:04,352 (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 1344 01:08:04,435 --> 01:08:06,270 STALKER: Sir. Sir. 1345 01:08:06,354 --> 01:08:07,605 -(MUSIC STOPS) -I've got a ticket! 1346 01:08:12,819 --> 01:08:14,195 The hell is going on? 1347 01:08:17,865 --> 01:08:19,075 What am I doing here? 1348 01:08:20,034 --> 01:08:21,536 What happened to my trousers? 1349 01:08:21,702 --> 01:08:23,162 You asked me to press them, sir. 1350 01:08:23,246 --> 01:08:24,247 I did? 1351 01:08:24,330 --> 01:08:25,623 Yes, sir. You were adamant. 1352 01:08:28,543 --> 01:08:29,961 How long have I been here? 1353 01:08:30,503 --> 01:08:31,587 Eighteen hours. 1354 01:08:33,548 --> 01:08:34,632 (GROANS) 1355 01:08:35,425 --> 01:08:37,593 STOPPARD: (GRUNTS) My head is killing me. 1356 01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:39,429 It's bloody freezing in here. 1357 01:08:41,514 --> 01:08:42,682 Did you make an arrest? 1358 01:08:44,225 --> 01:08:45,226 We did. 1359 01:08:45,935 --> 01:08:47,728 Who was it? Was it Gio? 1360 01:08:47,812 --> 01:08:48,813 Gio? 1361 01:08:49,480 --> 01:08:52,859 Yeah, Gio. The... The Italian chap, the killer. 1362 01:08:52,942 --> 01:08:55,695 The man in a darkish overcoat, soft felt hat... 1363 01:08:55,862 --> 01:08:57,363 I chased out the theater. 1364 01:08:57,530 --> 01:08:59,365 Inspector, that man was you. 1365 01:08:59,740 --> 01:09:00,741 What? 1366 01:09:01,159 --> 01:09:04,203 You are the man in the darkish overcoat 1367 01:09:04,287 --> 01:09:07,999 and the soft felt hat that Constable Stalker here 1368 01:09:08,082 --> 01:09:09,625 chased from the theater. 1369 01:09:10,877 --> 01:09:13,713 I'm sorry, I'm not following. 1370 01:09:13,796 --> 01:09:15,548 I think I might have a concussion. 1371 01:09:15,756 --> 01:09:16,883 Or the shakes? 1372 01:09:18,468 --> 01:09:20,470 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1373 01:09:22,054 --> 01:09:23,681 STOPPARD: No, this is ridiculous. 1374 01:09:23,764 --> 01:09:25,933 What possible reason 1375 01:09:26,017 --> 01:09:27,852 could I have for strangling a playwright? 1376 01:09:27,935 --> 01:09:30,229 I haven't seen anything he's done. 1377 01:09:30,396 --> 01:09:34,108 No, but Mervyn saw the woman who visited Kopernick at the Savoy. 1378 01:09:35,067 --> 01:09:36,068 So? 1379 01:09:36,777 --> 01:09:40,698 Inspector, have you spoken to Joyce lately? 1380 01:09:41,324 --> 01:09:42,450 Joyce? 1381 01:09:42,617 --> 01:09:43,618 Your wife. 1382 01:09:43,784 --> 01:09:44,785 Ex-wife. 1383 01:09:44,952 --> 01:09:47,079 Yes. I met her once at a police social. 1384 01:09:47,288 --> 01:09:49,957 A plain girl. 1385 01:09:50,124 --> 01:09:51,125 Very homely. 1386 01:09:51,334 --> 01:09:53,586 What does Joyce have to do with anything? 1387 01:09:53,753 --> 01:09:56,589 Uh, her name was in Leo's little black book, sir. 1388 01:09:57,048 --> 01:09:58,174 Oh, come on. You don't... 1389 01:09:58,257 --> 01:10:00,259 You don't seriously think that Leo and... 1390 01:10:00,343 --> 01:10:02,595 COMMISSIONER: Didn't your wife leave you for a Yank? 1391 01:10:03,012 --> 01:10:05,306 Leo was an American G.I. 1392 01:10:05,848 --> 01:10:08,559 Will you listen to yourselves? You hear what you're sayin'? 1393 01:10:09,894 --> 01:10:10,895 Constable. 1394 01:10:16,567 --> 01:10:18,778 "They do it out of revenge or rage 1395 01:10:19,028 --> 01:10:22,990 "because they have lost a loved one and can't forgive or forget. 1396 01:10:23,533 --> 01:10:25,826 "So they just stew and fester 1397 01:10:25,993 --> 01:10:29,664 "until it all comes out in a sudden, frenzied act of violence." 1398 01:10:32,416 --> 01:10:34,085 You wrote that down. 1399 01:10:37,296 --> 01:10:39,465 That was a private conversation. 1400 01:10:40,716 --> 01:10:42,802 Well, I thought it could be important, sir. 1401 01:10:44,220 --> 01:10:45,596 STOPPARD: Unbelievable. 1402 01:10:48,266 --> 01:10:49,433 We found her. 1403 01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:50,935 -Who? -Joyce. 1404 01:10:51,102 --> 01:10:52,770 Joyce. Joyce is here? 1405 01:10:52,853 --> 01:10:53,854 Constable. 1406 01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:59,569 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC INTENSIFYING) 1407 01:11:11,539 --> 01:11:12,540 (MUSIC STOPS) 1408 01:11:12,623 --> 01:11:13,916 That's not my wife. 1409 01:11:15,459 --> 01:11:17,628 -I'm sorry? -I said that's not my wife. 1410 01:11:18,004 --> 01:11:19,797 But it is your ex-wife. 1411 01:11:20,506 --> 01:11:23,009 Never seen that woman before in my life. 1412 01:11:25,136 --> 01:11:26,387 But your name is Joyce? 1413 01:11:26,721 --> 01:11:27,722 Uh... 1414 01:11:28,139 --> 01:11:30,141 -Well, it's a common name. -(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY) 1415 01:11:31,559 --> 01:11:32,852 -'Course it is. -Yeah. 1416 01:11:34,604 --> 01:11:35,855 COMMISSIONER: 'Course it is. 1417 01:11:38,107 --> 01:11:40,443 Well, Inspector, in that case, I believe 1418 01:11:40,985 --> 01:11:42,570 you are owed an apology. 1419 01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:46,866 (GULPS) Constable. 1420 01:11:48,576 --> 01:11:50,953 Uh... Yes, sir. O' course. 1421 01:11:51,162 --> 01:11:53,205 I'm... I'm so sorry, sir. I just... 1422 01:11:53,289 --> 01:11:57,293 I just got the wrong end of the stick, and I have no excuse. I just... 1423 01:11:57,376 --> 01:12:00,087 I jumped to conclusions again. I'm so sorry. 1424 01:12:05,384 --> 01:12:08,304 Commissioner, why don't you run along back to the office, 1425 01:12:08,471 --> 01:12:10,014 look over the quarterly accounts. 1426 01:12:10,097 --> 01:12:12,058 Let me handle the murder investigation. 1427 01:12:12,308 --> 01:12:13,476 Inspector. 1428 01:12:16,729 --> 01:12:17,813 (WHISPERS) Sorry. 1429 01:12:19,899 --> 01:12:22,068 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1430 01:12:52,515 --> 01:12:54,016 WOOLF: It's Dickie and Sheila. 1431 01:12:54,266 --> 01:12:57,269 DICKIE: Hello, Woolf. Didn't expect to see you here. 1432 01:12:58,521 --> 01:13:00,481 (HUMMING) 1433 01:13:01,190 --> 01:13:03,275 -(DOORBELL RINGING) -Perhaps, it is 1434 01:13:03,442 --> 01:13:06,028 Miss Rams... bottom. (MUMBLING) 1435 01:13:06,112 --> 01:13:08,406 -Get that... (SIGHS) -(DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING) 1436 01:13:15,246 --> 01:13:16,580 If you have broken down, 1437 01:13:16,664 --> 01:13:19,625 there is a garage not 15 miles from here. 1438 01:13:19,709 --> 01:13:21,585 (CHUCKLES) No, we're here for dinner. 1439 01:13:21,669 --> 01:13:23,295 I don't think so, sir. 1440 01:13:23,379 --> 01:13:26,215 (CHUCKLES) This is Winterbrook House? 1441 01:13:26,632 --> 01:13:27,925 The Christie residence? 1442 01:13:28,843 --> 01:13:29,885 It is. 1443 01:13:29,969 --> 01:13:30,970 Uh, we have an invitation. 1444 01:13:31,053 --> 01:13:32,054 DICKIE: We do, yes. 1445 01:13:34,014 --> 01:13:36,225 Richard Attenborough. Friends call me "Dickie." 1446 01:13:39,854 --> 01:13:41,689 (WIND WHISTLING) 1447 01:13:44,066 --> 01:13:46,277 I do hope you haven't traveled far. 1448 01:13:50,281 --> 01:13:52,283 MAN: Fellowes! Who is it? 1449 01:13:52,366 --> 01:13:55,077 -No one, sir. Tinkers. -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1450 01:13:55,161 --> 01:13:57,413 MAN: What, in this unseasonable blizzard? 1451 01:13:57,496 --> 01:13:59,039 Come on, man. Open sesame. 1452 01:13:59,957 --> 01:14:01,751 Richard Attenborough. Friends call me "Dickie." 1453 01:14:01,834 --> 01:14:03,836 Max Mallowan, eminent archaeologist. 1454 01:14:04,086 --> 01:14:05,337 Good God, man, you're frozen solid. 1455 01:14:05,421 --> 01:14:06,881 -It's cold. It's cold, yes. -Come in. 1456 01:14:06,964 --> 01:14:08,883 -Hello, Sheila Sim. (CHUCKLES) -Hello. 1457 01:14:08,966 --> 01:14:10,301 -John Woolf. -How do you do? 1458 01:14:10,634 --> 01:14:11,635 Ann Saville. 1459 01:14:11,719 --> 01:14:13,554 We're friends of Petula. Spencer. 1460 01:14:13,637 --> 01:14:15,347 -Oh, yes. I know Choo. -(CHUCKLES) 1461 01:14:16,098 --> 01:14:18,601 We thought we'd been invited for dinner. 1462 01:14:18,768 --> 01:14:20,686 Yes, we received this, 1463 01:14:21,312 --> 01:14:23,439 but apparently, not from you. 1464 01:14:23,606 --> 01:14:24,732 Extraordinary. 1465 01:14:25,566 --> 01:14:28,194 You know who's going to love this? Agatha. 1466 01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:30,154 It's just like one of her confections. 1467 01:14:30,321 --> 01:14:31,405 She's in the kitchen now 1468 01:14:31,489 --> 01:14:33,199 trying to figure out some new ending. 1469 01:14:33,282 --> 01:14:36,118 (SNICKERS) It helps to do the dishes, apparently. 1470 01:14:36,202 --> 01:14:38,120 (ALL CHUCKLE) 1471 01:14:39,789 --> 01:14:43,042 Ooh, hello. Who else didn't we invite to dinner? 1472 01:14:43,209 --> 01:14:44,460 Ah, it's Petula. 1473 01:14:44,627 --> 01:14:45,878 Why, so it is. 1474 01:14:46,796 --> 01:14:48,214 Come in out of the cold, Choo! 1475 01:14:48,297 --> 01:14:50,007 What on Earth have you got there? 1476 01:14:51,133 --> 01:14:52,218 It's not Mother, is it? 1477 01:14:52,301 --> 01:14:53,719 PETULA: 'Fraid so. 1478 01:14:54,094 --> 01:14:55,095 Oh, God. 1479 01:14:55,930 --> 01:14:57,097 Better make that eight for dinner, Fellowes, 1480 01:14:57,181 --> 01:14:58,808 -and let Agatha know. -Yes, sir. 1481 01:14:58,891 --> 01:15:00,100 And get a shovel to clear the path. 1482 01:15:00,184 --> 01:15:01,185 Yes, sir. 1483 01:15:01,268 --> 01:15:02,353 And do we have enough coal? 1484 01:15:02,436 --> 01:15:04,021 Yes, sir. Three bags full, sir. 1485 01:15:04,104 --> 01:15:05,981 -PETULA: Hello, Maxie. -Hello, darling. 1486 01:15:06,649 --> 01:15:08,526 Oh, it's a full house. 1487 01:15:08,818 --> 01:15:09,985 -(SHEILA CHUCKLES) -Yes. 1488 01:15:10,152 --> 01:15:11,153 Mother. 1489 01:15:11,237 --> 01:15:13,155 Come on in. Straight through to the drawing room. 1490 01:15:13,322 --> 01:15:14,532 PETULA: Here. MAX: Now, 1491 01:15:14,698 --> 01:15:18,035 I have a rather potent Mesopotamian aperitif 1492 01:15:18,118 --> 01:15:19,912 that'll have you thawed out in a jiffy. 1493 01:15:19,995 --> 01:15:20,996 (DOOR CLOSES) 1494 01:15:21,080 --> 01:15:23,207 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1495 01:15:45,646 --> 01:15:48,148 I'm sorry again that you had to find out like this. 1496 01:15:48,315 --> 01:15:50,776 Oh, I can't say it came as a surprise. 1497 01:15:51,735 --> 01:15:53,612 Leo was a bad seed. 1498 01:15:54,446 --> 01:15:55,948 Always in trouble, he was. 1499 01:15:57,032 --> 01:15:58,909 He picked a fight the night he took us out. 1500 01:15:58,993 --> 01:16:01,203 Mmm. Mervyn Cocker-Norris at the hotel. 1501 01:16:01,996 --> 01:16:03,831 No. At the pictures. 1502 01:16:04,164 --> 01:16:05,165 Oh. 1503 01:16:13,465 --> 01:16:16,135 He turned on this tall fella who came in after us 1504 01:16:16,218 --> 01:16:17,636 and shouted, 1505 01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:19,638 "What are you following me for, buddy?" 1506 01:16:20,389 --> 01:16:21,932 And, um... (SCOFFS) 1507 01:16:22,016 --> 01:16:23,183 Did he know a good dentist, 1508 01:16:23,267 --> 01:16:25,019 'cause he was about to lose a lot of teeth. 1509 01:16:26,812 --> 01:16:27,813 Hmm. 1510 01:16:27,897 --> 01:16:30,190 Right, who's ready for a top-up? 1511 01:16:30,274 --> 01:16:31,317 GUESTS: No. 1512 01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:32,818 PETULA: Where's the old girl? 1513 01:16:32,902 --> 01:16:34,695 Not gonna play the recluse card, is she? 1514 01:16:34,862 --> 01:16:36,989 Oh, no, no, no. She'll be down soon enough. 1515 01:16:37,072 --> 01:16:38,574 (CLATTERING UPSTAIRS) 1516 01:16:39,408 --> 01:16:40,826 That will be Fellowes. 1517 01:16:40,993 --> 01:16:42,494 The man's an oaf. 1518 01:16:46,957 --> 01:16:49,209 -A tall fella, you say? -JOYCE: Mmm. 1519 01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:51,545 Had a funny accent. 1520 01:16:53,380 --> 01:16:54,381 Italian? 1521 01:16:54,548 --> 01:16:55,758 No, not that funny. 1522 01:16:55,925 --> 01:16:57,176 More like... 1523 01:16:59,136 --> 01:17:00,554 a village idiot. 1524 01:17:01,472 --> 01:17:03,807 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES) 1525 01:17:04,975 --> 01:17:06,435 I'm sorry, but you have to get out. 1526 01:17:06,518 --> 01:17:07,645 (DOOR THUDS) 1527 01:17:09,146 --> 01:17:11,982 Oh. No. Good heavens. No. Uh... 1528 01:17:12,066 --> 01:17:14,068 -Che cosa succede? -(STOPPARD FUMBLING) 1529 01:17:14,151 --> 01:17:15,486 Poli... Polizei. 1530 01:17:15,569 --> 01:17:16,862 Teléfono, por favor. 1531 01:17:16,946 --> 01:17:18,322 -Telefono? -Yes. Sì. 1532 01:17:18,405 --> 01:17:19,740 -Sta là. -Gracias. 1533 01:17:19,823 --> 01:17:21,408 (PHONE RINGS) 1534 01:17:22,368 --> 01:17:24,495 Scotland Yard, Sergeant Bakewell speaking. 1535 01:17:24,662 --> 01:17:25,788 Yes, Stoppard here. 1536 01:17:31,210 --> 01:17:32,503 Police, stand back. 1537 01:17:32,836 --> 01:17:34,672 -He keeps a key... -(STALKER GRUNTS) 1538 01:17:34,755 --> 01:17:35,881 ...under the mat. 1539 01:17:36,674 --> 01:17:37,675 (PANTS) 1540 01:17:40,511 --> 01:17:42,262 BAKEWELL: Let me guess, Inspector. 1541 01:17:42,429 --> 01:17:43,681 You're after an address. 1542 01:17:44,306 --> 01:17:45,307 How did you know that? 1543 01:17:45,474 --> 01:17:46,517 Constable Stalker, sir. 1544 01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,644 She called just now for the same information. 1545 01:17:49,895 --> 01:17:50,980 Stalker? 1546 01:17:58,404 --> 01:17:59,863 (WOMAN WHIMPERING) 1547 01:17:59,947 --> 01:18:00,990 Agatha? 1548 01:18:01,073 --> 01:18:02,449 Gosh, is she all right? 1549 01:18:02,533 --> 01:18:04,952 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC INTENSIFYING) 1550 01:18:29,601 --> 01:18:31,603 (MUSIC BUILDING UP) 1551 01:18:34,106 --> 01:18:35,107 (MUSIC ENDS) 1552 01:18:35,190 --> 01:18:37,317 Where's Agatha? What have you done with her? 1553 01:18:45,117 --> 01:18:46,744 -It was the usher, sir. -I know. 1554 01:18:46,827 --> 01:18:48,412 He was under our noses all this time. 1555 01:18:48,495 --> 01:18:50,539 -Is he in? -No, sir. But I found this. 1556 01:18:50,748 --> 01:18:52,082 If we get going now, sir, we can... 1557 01:18:52,166 --> 01:18:53,417 I can take it from here, Constable. 1558 01:18:53,500 --> 01:18:54,960 Oh, right. And... And me, sir? 1559 01:18:55,044 --> 01:18:56,295 Go back to the station. 1560 01:18:57,546 --> 01:18:58,589 Yes, sir. 1561 01:18:58,672 --> 01:18:59,757 Oh, and, Constable? 1562 01:18:59,840 --> 01:19:00,924 Yes, sir? 1563 01:19:01,425 --> 01:19:03,177 Make a start on the paperwork. 1564 01:19:05,179 --> 01:19:06,472 -Yes, sir. -(CAR DOOR CLOSES) 1565 01:19:06,555 --> 01:19:08,307 (CAR DEPARTS) 1566 01:19:11,101 --> 01:19:14,938 (PANTING) 1567 01:19:17,191 --> 01:19:19,526 (UNNERVING MUSIC PLAYING) 1568 01:19:19,610 --> 01:19:22,571 (SOFTLY) Is it me, or does he look awfully familiar? 1569 01:19:22,654 --> 01:19:25,866 It's Dennis. He's an usher from the Ambassadors. 1570 01:19:26,742 --> 01:19:28,285 Oh, Dennis! 1571 01:19:28,452 --> 01:19:29,828 So nice to see you. 1572 01:19:29,912 --> 01:19:32,664 This is a strange coincidence. What are you doing here? 1573 01:19:33,665 --> 01:19:34,833 Well, I invited you. 1574 01:19:35,918 --> 01:19:36,919 Oh, my God. 1575 01:19:37,586 --> 01:19:39,213 You killed Leo and Mervyn! 1576 01:19:39,963 --> 01:19:40,964 I did. 1577 01:19:41,548 --> 01:19:44,009 I wanted to stop the film and the play. 1578 01:19:44,093 --> 01:19:45,719 What film? What play? 1579 01:19:45,803 --> 01:19:46,970 -The Mousetrap! -(ALL GASP) 1580 01:19:47,054 --> 01:19:48,305 Now, look here, Dennis. 1581 01:19:48,388 --> 01:19:50,808 We all have strong opinions on the theater. 1582 01:19:50,891 --> 01:19:54,520 In a sense, that's what it's there for, to provoke emotion. 1583 01:19:54,978 --> 01:19:57,731 And I appreciate you don't care for The Mousetrap. 1584 01:19:57,815 --> 01:20:00,943 I'll be the first to admit it's not exactly Hamlet. 1585 01:20:01,318 --> 01:20:03,529 But you must see 1586 01:20:04,071 --> 01:20:05,989 that this is a bit of an overreaction. 1587 01:20:06,073 --> 01:20:07,783 That's not what this is. 1588 01:20:07,950 --> 01:20:10,369 Then, what... what is this? 1589 01:20:10,828 --> 01:20:13,330 It's not your story to tell, is it? It's mine. 1590 01:20:13,413 --> 01:20:14,748 PETULA: Oh, I might have known. 1591 01:20:14,832 --> 01:20:16,083 A disgruntled writer. 1592 01:20:16,166 --> 01:20:18,502 Don't tell me, you had the idea first? 1593 01:20:18,669 --> 01:20:20,921 No. It happened to me. 1594 01:20:21,004 --> 01:20:22,214 I'm sorry, I am completely lost. 1595 01:20:22,297 --> 01:20:23,674 I don't have a theatrical background. 1596 01:20:24,049 --> 01:20:26,426 You're not Dennis Corrigan, are you? 1597 01:20:28,345 --> 01:20:29,346 (HUFFS) 1598 01:20:30,597 --> 01:20:32,141 Oh, you poor boy. 1599 01:20:32,933 --> 01:20:33,934 How do you mean? 1600 01:20:34,017 --> 01:20:36,353 He lost his brother in real life. 1601 01:20:36,562 --> 01:20:38,397 Dreadful business, it was. 1602 01:20:38,564 --> 01:20:40,858 It was years ago, now. I told you about it. 1603 01:20:40,941 --> 01:20:43,152 It was the case The Mousetrap was based on. 1604 01:20:43,235 --> 01:20:45,529 Inspired by, Mother. And loosely. 1605 01:20:46,155 --> 01:20:47,823 Oh, but you're an usher. 1606 01:20:47,990 --> 01:20:50,117 You had to watch that play night after night. 1607 01:20:50,659 --> 01:20:52,202 It must've been torture. 1608 01:20:53,287 --> 01:20:54,913 I thought it would help. 1609 01:20:55,998 --> 01:20:57,875 He was only six when he died, my brother. 1610 01:20:57,958 --> 01:21:00,752 The Mousetrap is actually based on a real-life case. 1611 01:21:00,836 --> 01:21:03,088 DENNIS: Neglected and left for dead by the people 1612 01:21:03,172 --> 01:21:04,965 who were supposed to look after us. 1613 01:21:05,632 --> 01:21:09,469 It sold a lot of newspapers, but no one cared about us. 1614 01:21:09,553 --> 01:21:11,638 (SLOW DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1615 01:21:11,722 --> 01:21:13,974 I thought the play would be different. 1616 01:21:14,057 --> 01:21:16,727 A famous writer was going to tell our story. 1617 01:21:16,810 --> 01:21:20,189 Two brothers who put their faith in the British social services. 1618 01:21:20,272 --> 01:21:23,150 DENNIS: But when I saw what Agatha Christie had done, 1619 01:21:23,233 --> 01:21:27,070 used our pain and suffering as a motive for a deranged killer... 1620 01:21:27,154 --> 01:21:28,155 (GASPS) 1621 01:21:28,238 --> 01:21:30,908 ...my brother's death reduced to a cheap sideshow... 1622 01:21:30,991 --> 01:21:32,659 There's been a murder? 1623 01:21:32,743 --> 01:21:34,119 DENNIS: ...I knew he wouldn't be able 1624 01:21:34,203 --> 01:21:36,079 to rest in peace until the play ended. 1625 01:21:36,538 --> 01:21:38,248 But it didn't. 1626 01:21:39,082 --> 01:21:42,085 It just went on, and on, and on. 1627 01:21:42,169 --> 01:21:44,504 The Mousetrap is 100, not out. 1628 01:21:44,588 --> 01:21:46,465 DENNIS: When I heard about the film adaptation, 1629 01:21:46,548 --> 01:21:47,633 I just snapped. 1630 01:21:48,592 --> 01:21:51,178 Without me, there is no movie. You understand? 1631 01:21:51,345 --> 01:21:52,387 You got a problem, buddy? 1632 01:21:52,471 --> 01:21:54,348 DENNIS: I killed the director to stop the film, 1633 01:21:55,349 --> 01:21:58,435 and thought a corpse on the stage would put an end to the play. 1634 01:21:58,518 --> 01:22:00,270 (SCREAMS) 1635 01:22:00,354 --> 01:22:02,314 But they didn't even close the theater. 1636 01:22:02,397 --> 01:22:03,941 Do you think you might be finished in time 1637 01:22:04,024 --> 01:22:05,400 for curtain up tomorrow night? 1638 01:22:05,484 --> 01:22:07,277 DENNIS: And Mervyn's new ideas for the film 1639 01:22:07,361 --> 01:22:08,946 made me sick to my stomach. 1640 01:22:09,029 --> 01:22:10,614 I'll take the bare bones of the story, 1641 01:22:10,697 --> 01:22:14,576 a rather mundane tale of child abuse, and make it my own. 1642 01:22:14,952 --> 01:22:16,161 DENNIS: He left me no choice. 1643 01:22:16,245 --> 01:22:17,246 (GASPS) 1644 01:22:17,329 --> 01:22:19,164 (SIGHS IN RELIEF) You startled me. 1645 01:22:19,248 --> 01:22:20,749 DENNIS: I had to kill him, too. 1646 01:22:21,166 --> 01:22:22,376 (CHOKING) 1647 01:22:23,502 --> 01:22:25,337 I thought that would be the end of it. 1648 01:22:25,921 --> 01:22:28,340 But you all just carried on like nothing had happened. 1649 01:22:30,008 --> 01:22:31,218 -Shame on you. -(WOOLF WHIMPERS) 1650 01:22:31,301 --> 01:22:32,302 (PETULA CLEARS THROAT) 1651 01:22:33,220 --> 01:22:36,682 Well, maybe you'll take notice if I kill Agatha Christie herself. 1652 01:22:38,725 --> 01:22:40,811 (MUFFLED GRUNTING) 1653 01:22:40,894 --> 01:22:42,312 Oh, I think she's tryin' to say something. 1654 01:22:42,396 --> 01:22:43,897 Oh, for God's sake, let her out. 1655 01:22:43,981 --> 01:22:44,982 I'll stop the film. 1656 01:22:45,065 --> 01:22:46,775 And the play. This is barbaric. 1657 01:22:47,109 --> 01:22:48,110 Fine. 1658 01:22:49,486 --> 01:22:51,822 (ALL GASP) 1659 01:22:52,990 --> 01:22:54,324 (SIGHS) 1660 01:22:55,492 --> 01:22:56,493 WOOLF: Edana? 1661 01:22:57,411 --> 01:22:59,454 Darling, what... what are you doing here? 1662 01:22:59,621 --> 01:23:01,456 I followed you. 1663 01:23:01,540 --> 01:23:03,375 I suppose I was going to make a scene. 1664 01:23:03,583 --> 01:23:05,419 -Hello, Ann. -(ANN MUMBLES) 1665 01:23:05,502 --> 01:23:08,880 Then this beanpole assaulted me, and I woke up in a carpet. 1666 01:23:09,047 --> 01:23:11,758 If you're not Agatha Christie, where the hell is she? 1667 01:23:11,842 --> 01:23:13,552 Good God, man. You mean you don't know? 1668 01:23:13,635 --> 01:23:16,346 What kind of a bumbling, half-witted psychopath are you? 1669 01:23:16,430 --> 01:23:18,473 Will you be quiet! Please! 1670 01:23:19,057 --> 01:23:20,559 Let me think! 1671 01:23:20,892 --> 01:23:22,561 Yes, of course! Of course. Why don't you... 1672 01:23:22,644 --> 01:23:25,522 Why don't you come in and sit down, Dennis? Um... 1673 01:23:25,605 --> 01:23:27,274 PETULA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1674 01:23:27,357 --> 01:23:29,735 Have a little moment to yourself. 1675 01:23:29,818 --> 01:23:31,486 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS) 1676 01:23:35,532 --> 01:23:37,492 (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 1677 01:23:48,045 --> 01:23:50,047 -(MUSIC HALTS) -(WIND HOWLING) 1678 01:23:51,340 --> 01:23:52,966 (ENGINE ROARING) 1679 01:23:54,468 --> 01:23:56,428 (INTENSE MUSIC RESUMES) 1680 01:24:10,108 --> 01:24:12,110 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1681 01:24:13,320 --> 01:24:14,321 (SIGHS) 1682 01:24:25,290 --> 01:24:26,500 (MUSIC FADING) 1683 01:24:27,167 --> 01:24:28,335 (FELLOWES SIGHS) 1684 01:24:39,971 --> 01:24:40,972 (MOUTHING) What? 1685 01:25:02,911 --> 01:25:04,996 Uh, well... Um... 1686 01:25:05,622 --> 01:25:07,999 I, for one, believe that, uh, 1687 01:25:08,708 --> 01:25:10,752 Dennis here is owed an apology. 1688 01:25:11,128 --> 01:25:12,295 -(ALL MURMUR IN AGREEMENT) -MAX: Yes. 1689 01:25:12,379 --> 01:25:14,381 SHEILA: He... He's right, of course. 1690 01:25:14,548 --> 01:25:16,133 The truth is the truth. 1691 01:25:16,216 --> 01:25:19,052 It is not to be manipulated or played with, 1692 01:25:19,136 --> 01:25:20,804 and certainly not for entertainment. 1693 01:25:20,887 --> 01:25:22,389 MAX: No, no. PETULA: No, no, no. 1694 01:25:22,472 --> 01:25:24,766 SHEILA: Art is supposed to reveal the truth... 1695 01:25:24,850 --> 01:25:25,851 ANN: Yes. GROUP: Yeah. 1696 01:25:25,934 --> 01:25:27,477 SHEILA: ...not pervert it. 1697 01:25:27,978 --> 01:25:30,147 How would Agatha Christie like it 1698 01:25:30,230 --> 01:25:34,568 if someone took one of her stories and twisted it and corrupted it 1699 01:25:34,651 --> 01:25:36,736 just for the hell of it? (CHUCKLES) 1700 01:25:36,820 --> 01:25:38,822 -(GROUP MURMURS) -MAX: She wouldn't. 1701 01:25:38,905 --> 01:25:42,868 I... I think that we should all feel thoroughly ashamed of ourselves. 1702 01:25:43,034 --> 01:25:45,454 AGATHA: Oh, here we are. Tea for everyone. 1703 01:25:45,537 --> 01:25:46,705 MAX: There you are, my dear. 1704 01:25:46,788 --> 01:25:48,582 AGATHA: Sorry to have kept you. 1705 01:25:48,665 --> 01:25:50,667 No, no, please don't get up, not on my account. 1706 01:25:51,251 --> 01:25:52,252 There, there. 1707 01:25:52,335 --> 01:25:53,378 No, no, no, 1708 01:25:53,462 --> 01:25:54,671 -no, no, it's fine. -Be careful. 1709 01:25:54,838 --> 01:25:58,300 AGATHA: Just as it was. I think it was that way. 1710 01:25:58,467 --> 01:26:00,302 It is so nice to see you again, Agatha, 1711 01:26:00,385 --> 01:26:01,678 in spite of the circumstances. 1712 01:26:01,761 --> 01:26:02,929 No, no, no, not that one. 1713 01:26:03,013 --> 01:26:04,931 No, that's for Dennis. (CHUCKLES) 1714 01:26:06,683 --> 01:26:07,684 (CUPS RATTLING) 1715 01:26:08,226 --> 01:26:09,603 It is Dennis, isn't it? 1716 01:26:11,021 --> 01:26:12,022 There we are. 1717 01:26:12,564 --> 01:26:15,192 I put an extra lump in. (CHUCKLES) 1718 01:26:15,275 --> 01:26:16,526 Thank you. 1719 01:26:16,693 --> 01:26:18,361 Everyone else, help themselves. 1720 01:26:18,820 --> 01:26:20,030 -(GROUP MURMURS) -(AGATHA SIGHS) 1721 01:26:20,614 --> 01:26:22,449 Now, Dennis. 1722 01:26:22,616 --> 01:26:23,783 How can I help? 1723 01:26:23,867 --> 01:26:25,494 Why don't we sit here and drink our tea 1724 01:26:25,660 --> 01:26:28,622 and discuss the matter like civilized people, hmm? 1725 01:26:30,248 --> 01:26:32,125 I want you to stop The Mousetrap. 1726 01:26:32,292 --> 01:26:35,045 Oh, I am sorry, but that I cannot do. No. 1727 01:26:35,504 --> 01:26:38,423 I'm afraid it goes against everything I hold dear in life. 1728 01:26:39,049 --> 01:26:41,259 Yes. I'm a writer, you see. 1729 01:26:41,426 --> 01:26:44,721 I can't be told what to write or what not to write. 1730 01:26:44,804 --> 01:26:47,724 It would be a denial of one's freedom. 1731 01:26:48,767 --> 01:26:52,771 Do you see, Dennis? Hmm? Do drink up. 1732 01:26:54,397 --> 01:26:56,691 (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) 1733 01:27:18,129 --> 01:27:19,339 Oh, good God, Fellowes. 1734 01:27:21,049 --> 01:27:22,342 Get up. Get up. 1735 01:27:22,425 --> 01:27:23,969 Now, look here, young man, I... 1736 01:27:24,052 --> 01:27:25,804 -(GROUP GASPS) -AGATHA: Max! 1737 01:27:27,472 --> 01:27:29,307 (SCREAMS) 1738 01:27:29,975 --> 01:27:30,976 (GLASS SHATTERS) 1739 01:27:31,601 --> 01:27:33,019 (INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) 1740 01:27:33,103 --> 01:27:34,104 (TIRE POPS) 1741 01:27:35,438 --> 01:27:37,107 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1742 01:27:47,158 --> 01:27:48,702 -Yes, good idea... Oh. -MAX: Yes. 1743 01:27:48,785 --> 01:27:50,912 Oh, my God. Now what's happened? 1744 01:27:51,663 --> 01:27:53,832 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1745 01:28:07,095 --> 01:28:08,638 -(AGATHA WHIMPERING) -STOPPARD: Oh. 1746 01:28:09,681 --> 01:28:10,682 Dennis. 1747 01:28:12,851 --> 01:28:15,186 Put the popular author down, please, Dennis. 1748 01:28:15,729 --> 01:28:17,022 -No. -(GROANS) 1749 01:28:19,941 --> 01:28:21,067 (BOTTLE POPS OPEN) 1750 01:28:21,151 --> 01:28:23,695 Sheila, darling, now's hardly the time. 1751 01:28:23,778 --> 01:28:25,655 SHEILA: Dickie, I need a light. 1752 01:28:25,739 --> 01:28:27,157 But you don't smoke. 1753 01:28:27,949 --> 01:28:29,284 (WHISPERS) Dickie. 1754 01:28:31,870 --> 01:28:33,830 (MUSIC INTENSIFYING) 1755 01:28:39,836 --> 01:28:40,837 (AGATHA SCREAMS) 1756 01:28:42,547 --> 01:28:43,798 (GROANING) 1757 01:28:44,591 --> 01:28:46,301 (GUN CLICKING) 1758 01:28:48,345 --> 01:28:49,346 (GRUNTING) 1759 01:28:52,932 --> 01:28:55,143 (MUSIC BUILDING UP) 1760 01:29:01,149 --> 01:29:02,692 -(GUNSHOT) -(STALKER GRUNTS) 1761 01:29:02,776 --> 01:29:04,527 -(STOPPARD GROANS) -(GUN COCKS) 1762 01:29:04,611 --> 01:29:05,695 STALKER: Look out! 1763 01:29:07,030 --> 01:29:08,073 STOPPARD: No, Dennis! 1764 01:29:08,156 --> 01:29:10,659 -(GRUNTING) -Don't do it, please! 1765 01:29:11,326 --> 01:29:13,036 (AGATHA GRUNTS) 1766 01:29:14,996 --> 01:29:16,498 (GROWLING) 1767 01:29:16,581 --> 01:29:17,624 MAX: Darling! 1768 01:29:18,416 --> 01:29:20,710 -(AGATHA WHIMPERS) -It's all right. 1769 01:29:20,794 --> 01:29:22,962 He's dead. It's over. 1770 01:29:26,549 --> 01:29:27,550 Sir... 1771 01:29:28,885 --> 01:29:30,011 I'm bleedin'. 1772 01:29:33,223 --> 01:29:36,935 Hang in there, Constable. Sergeant's exam's in a month. 1773 01:29:37,602 --> 01:29:39,771 It's funny, sir. I actually... I don't feel anything. 1774 01:29:39,854 --> 01:29:41,231 I think it mighta just been a nick. 1775 01:29:41,314 --> 01:29:43,692 Yeah. Just the nick of time, I'd say. 1776 01:29:43,775 --> 01:29:45,110 (CHUCKLES) Very good. 1777 01:29:45,193 --> 01:29:47,654 (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, Constable. 1778 01:29:48,530 --> 01:29:50,657 I haven't been altogether honest or open 1779 01:29:50,740 --> 01:29:53,034 or loyal or fair to you as a partner. 1780 01:29:53,535 --> 01:29:56,913 Truth be told, I haven't been a partner at all, you know. 1781 01:29:57,747 --> 01:29:58,915 Sir, you don't have to say that. 1782 01:29:58,998 --> 01:30:00,750 No, I want you to know... 1783 01:30:00,917 --> 01:30:02,252 I do trust you. 1784 01:30:02,335 --> 01:30:04,504 Thank you, sir. That does mean a lot. 1785 01:30:04,587 --> 01:30:06,881 Um, but when I say that I can't feel anything, 1786 01:30:06,965 --> 01:30:09,134 I think what I mean is that, um, 1787 01:30:09,676 --> 01:30:12,011 I don't think the bullet hit me, sir. 1788 01:30:12,178 --> 01:30:13,221 What do you mean? 1789 01:30:14,264 --> 01:30:15,473 Did you, um... 1790 01:30:16,808 --> 01:30:18,852 STOPPARD: Oh, I see. STALKER: Oh, no. Yeah. 1791 01:30:18,935 --> 01:30:20,895 Oh. Well, you're right again, Constable. 1792 01:30:20,979 --> 01:30:22,021 Are you all right, sir? 1793 01:30:22,104 --> 01:30:23,440 I think you better call an ambulance. 1794 01:30:23,523 --> 01:30:24,524 Yep. 1795 01:30:26,025 --> 01:30:28,027 Yes, I don't feel so good. 1796 01:30:29,904 --> 01:30:31,698 A shoot-out and a big explosion. 1797 01:30:32,198 --> 01:30:35,368 Perhaps it's for the best that Mervyn wasn't alive to see it. 1798 01:30:36,494 --> 01:30:37,495 Quite. 1799 01:30:38,204 --> 01:30:40,540 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1800 01:31:07,192 --> 01:31:08,359 (MUSIC ENDS) 1801 01:31:08,443 --> 01:31:11,196 It's okay, everyone, I'm... I'm fine. 1802 01:31:11,988 --> 01:31:15,033 (FOLK SONG PLAYING) 1803 01:31:16,367 --> 01:31:20,580 LEO: Now that's what I call a Leo Kopernick ending. 1804 01:31:22,332 --> 01:31:24,751 But before we go our separate ways, 1805 01:31:24,834 --> 01:31:28,713 you'll be wanting to know what became of the heroes of this tale. 1806 01:31:31,591 --> 01:31:33,802 Constable Stalker, as advertised, 1807 01:31:33,885 --> 01:31:37,555 sat her sergeant's exams in the spring of 1953. 1808 01:31:37,639 --> 01:31:40,308 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1809 01:31:40,391 --> 01:31:42,060 She aced them. 1810 01:31:44,187 --> 01:31:47,106 Detective Inspector George Stoppard. 1811 01:31:47,565 --> 01:31:49,734 LEO: Inspector Stoppard was awarded 1812 01:31:49,818 --> 01:31:53,238 the King's Police and Fire Services Medal. 1813 01:31:53,321 --> 01:31:54,322 COMMISSIONER: Oh. 1814 01:31:54,405 --> 01:31:57,158 LEO: Harrold Scott received a Knighthood. 1815 01:31:57,242 --> 01:31:59,744 (CAMERA FLASHBULB POPPING) 1816 01:32:00,912 --> 01:32:03,957 The play, if you can believe it, 1817 01:32:04,040 --> 01:32:06,876 is still going strong in London's West End. 1818 01:32:08,086 --> 01:32:12,090 Over 10 million people have sat through The Mousetrap. 1819 01:32:12,173 --> 01:32:13,800 TROTTER: Two brothers who put their faith 1820 01:32:13,883 --> 01:32:15,510 in the British social services. 1821 01:32:16,719 --> 01:32:20,056 A sorry tale of abuse that ended in tragedy. 1822 01:32:22,559 --> 01:32:27,355 Well, now that you've seen our film, you are an accomplice to murder. 1823 01:32:27,522 --> 01:32:30,483 And so we ask you to remember that it is very much in your interest 1824 01:32:30,567 --> 01:32:32,277 not to tell a soul outside of this... 1825 01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,404 Shh. Sir. Sorry. 1826 01:32:34,487 --> 01:32:36,865 But I've missed the endin' once. 1827 01:32:36,948 --> 01:32:38,408 I don't wanna miss it again. 1828 01:32:38,491 --> 01:32:41,119 No, of course not. I'm sorry. Sorry. 1829 01:32:44,330 --> 01:32:45,748 (SHUSHES SOFTLY) 1830 01:32:49,043 --> 01:32:50,253 (SONG ENDS) 1831 01:32:51,087 --> 01:32:53,047 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1832 01:34:14,629 --> 01:34:16,631 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)