-PJ Flapps has looks for night...
-I'm a Flappanista. Mm!
-...for school. -I'm a Flappanista.
-...for war. --I'm a Flappanista!
-Huh? Oh!
-PJ Flapps has been a woman-owned business
for 50 years, ever since I asked my daddy
for the money and he gave it to me.
-And to show our appreciation to our loyal lady customers,
it's time for our semiannual BODO sale.
-Don't you mean "BOGO," Mom?
-No, Michelle, it's, "buy one, daughter one."
-If you have a working credit card,
come see us at our beautiful flagship location downtown.
-If you're struggling financially
but willing to sift through large bins of castoffs,
visit our Flapps Off Worth outlet.
-So, grab your mom and come be Flappanistas together --
this weekend only.
-Your chest makes that cardigan set look cheap.
At least wear black.
-Annie, time to BODO. But grab your birth certificate.
They're not gonna believe we're related.
-Well, I do need something brown
to wear to the Save the Manatees fundraiser.
-Aren't manatees extinct?
I thought big oil killed them all.
-Nope. They're just holding them for ransom.
[ Baby cries ]
-♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪
♪ Some of my devils up and left me free ♪
♪ To find a quiet space, I'm not as out of place ♪
♪ And I'm coming home again ♪
♪ It's been too long a time gettin' back what's mine ♪
♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪
♪ But it's lookin' now like maybe I can stay ♪
Is that any good?
♪♪
-Okay, Peter, why we paint "Do Not Touch" sign
on European man's gonads?
Hmm? -To discourage grave perverts
from playing with his genitals if they dig up the body.
I'll put on my purity blindfold and look away.
-Oh, boy. This gonna be a minute.
Hey, goat, bring Baba energy bar.
-Unh! What? [ Gasps ] Oh, my!
Is that...what is that? -[ Screams, bleats ]
-For over 30 years, I protect Peter from site of penis.
Now you ruin him. He ruined!
-Why is his wearing a flesh babushka?
It looks so cozy and complete.
-You see, the penis born with flap.
But I got you circum-snipped as baby.
Goat, too. Great BOGO sale. Boy one, goat one. Hey.
-What? I was born a Flappanista? This explains everything!
My whole life, I've felt like something's missing!
No wonder I can't dunk a basketball,
eat wings in public, or keep a girlfriend!
-It piece of skin, not magic wand.
-It's a lot to process.
Good thing my boys are coming over tonight.
Baba, could you please make those soft pretzel bites I like,
but do not come in. -[ Bleats ]
♪♪
-Wow!
-I don't get it. Where are the pockets?
-Annie, I know you want to head straight to the cankle section
and choose some sandpaper tent dress
to wear to your sea-cow party, but this sale is about me
overriding your personal identity with my own.
[ Gasps ] You're definitely trying this on.
-How about this? -No.
What size labia are you? -Um...husky?
[ Scoffs ] Finding an outfit that flatters your genitals
is gonna take a lot of work. Get lost so I can focus.
♪♪
-I'll be in the "Juniors Still Figuring Out Their Body Shape" section.
-Your shape is avocado, sweetie.
-Annie, look at what I found to wear to the fundraiser.
-Babygirl, Hi. Nice.
It's cool you and your mom have the same style.
-For this year's sale, you have to.
Must be some sicko's idea of mother-daughter bonding.
[ Gasps ]- The same outfit?
-[ Laughs evilly ]
-Maybe if you suck it in a little.
-I wanted a boy!
-Did you try that on to be ironic?
-That cannot be true.
The outfits don't have to be the same size, do they?
What kind of monster thought of this?
-[ Laughs evilly ] Let the game begin.
[ Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud! Whir! ]
-How could you and I ever wear the same outfit?
-Stop insulting my appearance.
My school counselor says I need to stop agreeing
to psychological torture just to spend time with you.
-Aah! -Aah!
-What's happening?!
Aah! Unh! -Aah! Unh!
-That's weird. -[ Gasps ]
♪♪
Orange juice, male. Fruit punch, female.
Toast, male. -Sorry to interrupt, Sal.
I authentically respect your gendered food updates,
but I got to get this off my chest.
So you guys know how every Tuesday
is ladies day at the 9-11?
I asked my regional manager,
"How about making Thursdays Men's Day?"
But she says to me, "Don't be a jerk, Kirk."
So you can guess how that makes me feel.
-Disrespected. -Disrespected. -[ Bleating ]
-You want to share next, Pete?
Looks like something's on your mind.
-Yeah, Pete. You look even more disrespected than usual.
Respectfully. -Revered brethren, today
I found out something very valuable was stolen from me...
-[ Gasps ] -...by none other than my very own mother.
-Baba bring pizza nibbles and applesauce pouch.
-No girls allowed, Baba!
Haven't you taken enough from me?
-He upset I have him circumcised.
[ All gasping ] -Goat circumcised, too,
and goat not mad at Baba. -[ Bleats ]
-Disrespected! -Disrespected!
-Okay. -Hey, Pete.
Have you heard of the Foreskin Reattachment Movement?
The FRM? -What's that?
-Oh, yeah, it's a whole thing.
Happens every day, every hour, almost.
-It's a more popular procedure than you'd think.
-Mm-hmm. You can find a donor and get a transplant.
Or there are great detachable options
at the Institute for Phallic Reconnection.
I got one in snakeskin. Want to see?
-Wow! It looks just like a diamondback rattler.
-Sounds like one, too. [ All gasping ]
-[ Bleats ] -Respect.
-[ Whimpering ]
-[ Laughs evilly ]
I am Juggsaw. Welcome to my game.
-Aah! -Semiannually, teenage daughters
come to the BODO sale with their mothers full of dread.
Mothers should accept their daughters for who they are.
-We're in more trouble than I thought.
-So Juggsaw is here to give mothers a choice --
validate their daughters or die.
-[ Whimpers ] -Trophy, in order to escape
with your life, you must win three games.
Each requires a different pillar of psychological wellness --
communication, compassion, and compromise.
-Maybe this won't be so bad. Those words are
the building blocks of a healthy relationship.
-Let me out!
♪♪
-Hello. I'm Dr. Harrison Whammy.
And if you're watching this, you likely suffered
an involuntary unskinning as an infant.
-Uh-huh. -Peter, what you doing in there?
Why door stuck? -Not now, Baba!
-Your foreskin was a sacred treasure
given to you by the divine, but your hallowed cloak
was severed without your consent.
-Yes, exactly.
-I need to switch the laundry, Harrison.
-Not now, Mother! -Leave me alone!
-Petey, why so upset about foreskin?
When baby, I thought you'd like handsome American penis.
-You don't get it, Baba. My foreskin was a part of me.
When I close my eyes, I can hear the ghost of my flap
whipping across some distant boulevard of broken dreams.
Listen. Do you hear it?
-Oh, that's Baba ambient soundscape CD --
"King Bedsheet Drying on Clothesline in Hurricane."
You want I make louder? -Aah!
We didn't even get to say goodbye!
I'm going to see Dr. Whammy.
-Okay, okay, we no paid retail.
Baba know a guy.
-[ Snoring ]
[ Gasps ] What?
[ Whimpers, gasps ] -[ Gasping ]
-Quick. Use your death powers to get us out of here.
-Can't. I left my crotch beetles at home.
They bloat me up a size and a half.
-[ Laughs evilly ] [ Both gasp ]
When it comes to communication, females are the superior gender,
but mothers twist these gifts into manipulative instruments
of pain!
Trophy, I've watched you gaslight and bully Annie
into tolerating your toxic behavior.
-Spoken like a true childless critic.
Just wait till you have a daughter, Jerksaw. Huh?
-Each time you give a manipulative response,
you'll be gassed until you lose consciousness.
[ Laughs evilly ] -What the...
-Communicate or die.
Make your choice.
Annie, describe the last time your mother chipped away
at your gentle spirit.
-Well, I guess in the dressing room, when she said
I have the bone structure of an air-conditioning unit.
-At least I'm honest. Are you saying I should lie to you?
[ Gas hisses ]
-[ Coughing ]
-Go on, Annie.
-Or maybe when she asked the saleslady what kind of pants
hide pizza-box butt. -[ Laughs ]
-Or when she told me I should consider stuffing my bra
so people will forget I have the personality
of a shower curtain. -[ Laughs ]
-Or it could be when I tried on a dress I liked
and she covered her eyes and screamed,
"Oh, God, this is my 9-11!"
-Oh, I see what's going on here.
Juggsaw wants you to learn to take a joke, Annie!
Ugh! [ Coughing ]
-Mom, stop! Don't you see that you're gassing yourself?
-Me?! You started this.
-What? Oh, no. Wait, did I?
-Well, this isn't [coughs] my fault.
-Maybe stop talking?
You look like you're gonna pass out soon.
-Quit being so dramatic. [ Coughs ]
-Oh, no. Mom!
[ Coughing ] What have you done?
-Oh, Annie, your mother proved she'd rather die
than take responsibility for the pain she's caused you.
I know it's hard to accept, but in time,
your psyche will heal. -[ Gasps ]
-What? -Annie, stop squeezing me.
You'll wrinkle the shirt I'm planning to steal.
-You're okay! -What? Huh?
How is this possible? You just died.
-No, I didn't. -Yes, you did.
-Who's trying to manipulate who now, Miss Tits?
-[ Laughs ] -Stop doing that!
-I'm not doing anything.
Silence!
-[ Gasps ]
Ooh, haven't been in one of these
since that prayer luncheon.
Mama likey. -Oh, you will not
like challenge number two.
-You sure about that? [ Clicks tongue ]
-You shut up. Just shut your -- You shut your damn mouth.
-[ Chuckles ] -Ah, this place like
Build-A-Bear, but for penis.
-Baba, hello! -Peter, this Vladislav.
You probably no remember, but he take your foreskin.
-Could you please run and get it?
Because I'd like it back now, sir.
-Oh, it long gone.
But we find you replacement -- better than original.
Come, come.
What style foreskin can I put you in today, Peter?
-You got, like, a Nissan Altima type?
-Of course. On a scale of extra, extra, extra small to the Shaq,
I am thinking you are...
slightly below average penis size, yes?
-Ooh, he's good. -Okay.
First, you pick foreskin base,
then we customize to suit your personality.
Jibbitz, piercings, tattoos. -Ooh!
-Stop upsell, Vlad.
-Peter, what you think about this one?
It pumpkin spice latte flavored.
-Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
I already feel so intact.
It's so cool!
-No, no. This one ugly.
Look used, like dog bite it off man.
-Baba, let boy choose own flap.
Peter, which speak to you?
Maybe the talking foreskin?
-Ooh, pick me.
-Do you have that one in glitter?
Two of those. No, the big one behind it.
Oh, this is so me.
-We've got your favorite Disney character, sports team.
You Libra, right? -Ooh.
-Okay. You like?
-[ Gasps ] It's perfect!
-Give me a break. Who you think you are?
Henry Kissinger? Timothée Chalamet? Try again.
♪♪
-We better do what Juggsaw says
if we ever want to get out of here.
-Stop whining and start chewing this collar off.
You've got sharp, little ferret teeth, don't you?
-[ Gasps ]
-Time to play.
Instead of supporting their unique interests,
narcissistic mothers force their daughters
to conform to their standards.
-[ Giggles ] -For test number two, Annie,
it's your turn to be the focus for once.
For the next 10 minutes, Trophy will actively listen to you
and prioritize your needs.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Any time Trophy turns the conversation back to her,
the noose will draw tighter around her neck.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Begin. [ Clock ticking ]
-I'm a pescatarian, and let me tell you about that.
-Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! -Basically, my main source
of animal protein comes from fish.
-Hey, Juggsy, give me that gas again, will you?
[ Gagging ] -The benefits of eating salmon
even twice a week has proved instrumental --
-Tighter, tighter!
-Mm, no.
What about that nice straw and twig foreskin over there?
You could add googly eyes.
-Nope. This is definitely the one.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
I'll take it!
-Petey, it mother's job to speak harsh truth in meanest way.
That very flashy foreskin you cannot pull off.
-Oh, you mean like you did, huh?
-What about that one? It made of Berber carpet.
-Ugh! How can I ever expect to feel like a man
if you won't even let me decide
what outfit the top of my penis is wearing?
Come on!
Grr! [ Doorbell jangling ]
-Why so cranky? It's like he get sand in imaginary flap.
-Baba, when it comes to foreskin,
men want either increased sexual pleasure
or mother's unconditional approval.
But sometimes, man very lucky, and he find both.
-No! No! No more! -And that is why
Omega-3 fatty acids are literally a triple threat. -No more listening.
[ Gasping ] -Get it? Three -- triple?
-I had a threesome on a fishing boat once.
[ Groaning ]
-Speaking of threesomes, "Californication" star
David Duchovny is also a pescatarian.
-[Straining] You're so...boring!
Oh! -[ Gasps ] Juggsaw, stop!
That's not pretend unconsciousness from rudeness!
That's real unconsciousness from danger!
-Oh, finally. She held on longer than I thought she would.
But she's gone now, Annie.
You can finally focus on you instead of --
-Huh? -A man once told me
I look like I could play the hot waitress
in an Applebee's commercial.
How about that?
-How is she still alive?! -She's undead.
-Ugh! Well, that would have been nice to know at the beginning.
-I get your whole agenda with my mom,
but she's never gonna change, and I'm getting kind of hungry.
-Sit tight, toots.
If your mother can't die,
the third challenge will all come down to you.
-Ugh.
♪♪
-Hey, Mr. Sad Penis, it's not apology,
but Baba know milkshake make you feel better.
-Oh-ho-ho! You just ordered for me, huh?
Didn't even ask me what I wanted.
-It's sweet cream flavor, lukewarm.
-Fine! That's exactly what I wanted!
[ Slurp! ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Coughing ]
Wait a second. [ Gasps ]
It's the foreskin I wanted!
Oh, Baba, you bought it for me
and hid it in my milkshake as a surprise.
-Baba think you make bedazzled mistake,
but, ah, it's your penis, Peter.
-Thank you, Baba! I love it!
-Okay, okay, Baba love it, too.
Quick, put it on before ants get to it.
♪♪
-Ugh! What's with these hideous clothes?
Haven't I suffered enough?
Annie, take off that ugly-ass outfit.
It makes you look hippy. -These are my clothes.
I pretty much wear this every day.
-I know.
-This final challenge is about compromise.
-Ow! Oh, jeez latouche.
-Annie, you are so desperate
for your mother's love and attention
that you stick around no matter what.
I am presenting you both
with a variety of contemporary fashions.
If you can compromise on an identical outfit,
you can both leave unharmed.
-Great. I'll just pick so we can get out of here, okay, Mom?
-However, any time Trophy makes a negative comment,
that door will open a few centimeters.
When it's open enough for you to pass, Annie,
I'll allow you to go alone
so you can leave your mother behind
as you should have done long ago.
-We get it! -Begin!
-Okay, Annie, grab me those shorts,
but only touch the hanger.
I don't want you to get your ketchup smell all over them.
-Annie, why are you always the only one to compromise?
Do you really want to wear those shorts?
-Annnie, the shorts will make you look
like a truckstop prostitute.
I thought you wanted to raise some funds, dum-dum.
-You know what? Juggsaw is right.
This fundraiser is really important to me.
I deserve to feel comfortable.
-Your sweat glands are too active for that, hon.
-Yes, Annie, yes.
Tell your mother how you really feel about the shorts,
then leave her behind forever.
-That outfit just isn't me. Goodbye, Mom.
-Annie, you know you're too big boned to fit through that door.
That's a size-zero squeeze, sweetheart.
-Can you open the door just a little more?
-Oh, uh, try sucking in.
-It just isn't me.
[ Laughter ]
-You said all kids would have
tiny, old, country grandmother clothes on.
[ Sobs ] -Dress for job you want,
not job you have. -[ Sobbing ]
[ Laughter ] -Baba, please!
Can't I just swim in my underwear?
-Why you need to swim in underwear
when I buy such beautiful bathing suit?
It cover everything shameful on you.
Now swim! Ah!
-[ Giggles ] Oh.
-Is fresh off runway. We'll look like model at school.
-It's just not me, Mom.
I want to be groped through mesh!
-You'll wear it and like it!
-[ Grunting ]
-Oh, okay, honey.
Let's [gags] try that....
[retching] brown Catholic vest you like.
-Really? Okay.
You honestly think it will look good?
-It's very you. [ Gags ]
-It's working? You're bonding?
My experimental therapy worked!
[ Laughs evilly ]
You two just compromised! I'm a genius!
Only because my mom can't die.
Otherwise, you would have murdered her in the first round.
-I knew I had what it takes to be a psychotherapist.
-A little more psycho than therapist, if you ask me.
-[ Chuckles ] -Pretty good joke.
-Stop diminishing my accomplishment.
Now you sound like my mother.
You two are free to go...
and eligible for the BODO discount.
[ Kazoo plays fanfare ]
Please pay at the register on the way out.
-Ooh! Oh. Are those your breasts?
Oh. [ Chuckles ] So scratchy.
-I actually did it.
-Michelle? -One second.
Uh, uh, one second, Mom.
-Michelle, what's going on in there?
-Oh, I'm just doing business stuff.
I'm girl bossing. -Not Juggsaw again.
Michelle, you promised.
-But vigilante psychotherapy is my true passion.
Why can't you understand that retail just isn't me?
-Michelle, this is not up for discussion.
-If you won't let me be a therapist,
could I at least manage Flapps Worth Avenue instead?
Poor people give me the creeps.
-Michelle, we've discussed this.
Your figure says Octoberfest, not high fashion.
Besides, for me to even consider you in any position
besides Flaps Off Worth,
you need to run it for at least two years...
-Without any casualties. -...without any casualties.
Aha! So you can listen to me. You just choose not to.
-Oh, look, there's Baba and Pete.
-Hey, girls. Cool, new outfits.
I've got a little something new of my own.
Ooh! Does that flap have LED lights? Lucky!
-That vest make you look pound and a half too heavy.
[ Gasps ] Where sleeves?
You got ripped off. Very bad outfit.
Go return now. We wait here.
-Yes, Baba. -Okay, Baba.
-♪ All I want's my foreskin back ♪
♪ I want my foreskin back ♪
♪ Yeah, I want my foreskin back ♪
♪ I want my foreskin back ♪
♪♪