1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:06,174 So I told the haberdasher, "You are not going to pawn off 2 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,376 last season's grosgrain on me." 3 00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,010 And guess what I did next. 4 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:13,347 Oh, I bet you said something a little bit cutting. 5 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,349 I did. I did indeed. 6 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,817 I told him where he could shove 7 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,487 his heinous autumnal pumpkin ribbon. 8 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,455 Where the sun don't shine. 9 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,224 In the butt, right? (laughs) 10 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,592 (laughs) 11 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,062 Oh, Carly, I so enjoy our little chats. 12 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,131 -Aw, thanks. Me too. -Aw, thanks. Me too. 13 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,333 (all scream) 14 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:34,935 How could you... 15 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,539 G2G! Bye, brother! 16 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,075 * I know * 17 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,710 * You see * 18 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,878 * Somehow the world will change for me * 19 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,948 * And be so wonderful * 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,719 * So wake up the members of my nation * 21 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,921 * It's your time to be * 22 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,957 * There's no chance unless you take one * 23 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,660 * And the time to see the brighter side * 24 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,930 * Of every situation * 25 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,897 * Some things are meant to be * 26 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:08,502 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 27 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,874 Who am I? Where am I? 28 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,376 What am I? 29 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,411 Carly. Apartment. 30 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,446 Girl. 31 00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,847 Nailed it. 32 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,150 Ho-ho, babe! 33 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,852 I got your texts asking me to explain technology. 34 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,255 I am so flattered, I dropped everything. 35 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,590 Millicent can take the bus. 36 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:33,060 God, it's hot when you ignore your priorities for me. 37 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,429 I took the bus. 38 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,964 It was faster, better for the environment 39 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:40,368 and I didn't have to make small talk with the driver. 40 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,102 Win-win! 41 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,904 Now, from your texts, 42 00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:46,907 it sounds like Carly is the victim 43 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,442 of a deepfake. 44 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,944 Oh. The guy who turned in Nixon? 45 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,213 No. 46 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,646 Right? 47 00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,850 A deepfake comes from deep learning technology, 48 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,152 a type of A.I. that creates algorithms 49 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,654 to do things like swap faces 50 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,557 to make realistic-looking fake media. 51 00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,426 Computers. 52 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,027 -Oh! -Ah. 53 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,363 Millicent! 54 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,399 I wrote one of my signature instructional tunes. 55 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,401 I know. 56 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,668 I kinda like those songs. 57 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,337 You're a regular Kidz Bop. 58 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,871 I just hope this doesn't mess 59 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,973 with your new product that you had me stock up on. 60 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,643 * "D" is for your doppelganger out in cyberspace... * 61 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,678 Babe, I love you, but shut up. 62 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,079 Wait, what new product? 63 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:28,949 This new product! 64 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,484 Tastes Famiglia! 65 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,688 The best pasta-based meat alternative you've never tried. 66 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,390 I never posed for this. 67 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,660 But is that what I look like when I shush people? (chuckles) 68 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,964 Nah, it's usually more like, "Be quiet. Ugh." 69 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,633 (laughs): Wow. 70 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,935 That was spot-on. 71 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,168 Not. 72 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,540 "Carly Shay says, 'Tastes Famiglia mimics 73 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,874 "'the sturdiness of meat 74 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,944 with the plush mouthfeel of pasta.'" 75 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,312 "Mouthfeel"? Ugh. 76 00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,880 You disgust me. 77 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,285 Guys, this... (chuckles) obviously isn't me. 78 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,220 I use napkins. 79 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,888 Oh, my God. 80 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:12,192 Someone is using fake me to sell fake meat. 81 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,527 This is a crime. 82 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,796 -Maybe we should call the cops? -Yeah. 83 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,931 (laughs) 84 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,268 Oh, you're serious? 85 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,835 Of course he is. 86 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,338 * When the situation's not that fun * 87 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:27,941 * Just pick up a phone, dial 911. * 88 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,578 Remember when someone in my comments threatened 89 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,046 to "find me and wear me"? 90 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,882 -Yeah, but that was... -Not done. 91 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,150 The cops said it didn't count 92 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,152 because it happened in my phone. 93 00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,554 (scoffs) But surely... 94 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:41,655 Still going. 95 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,591 Then he texted me, "Carly Shay, 96 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,293 I'm coming to get you at the Bushwell." 97 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,228 And the police said-- quote-- 98 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:51,131 "This could be about anyone." 99 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,601 Look, I know this sucks, 100 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,336 but, like I always tell Millicent... 101 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,338 * When life gives you lemons... * 102 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,940 Be quiet! Ugh. 103 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,676 Hey, Meat-stagroupies. 104 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,346 I'm here at Shay What?! to try... 105 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,914 Tastes Famiglia, 106 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:10,951 the best pasta-based meat alternative I've never tried. 107 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,994 (gagging) 108 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,632 You! 109 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,401 (retching) 110 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,069 Tastes Famiglia is blowing up, 111 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:32,105 but now Shay What?! customers are throwing up. 112 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,574 #iBlameCarly. 113 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,843 #RideTheBus. 114 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,478 So, 115 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,480 you got a little ditty for this one? 116 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,114 I do not. 117 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,154 "#iBlameCarly"? 118 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,956 "#RideTheBus"? 119 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,224 Man, Carly's going through it. 120 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,560 Which one's Carly? 121 00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:53,727 The little girl? 122 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,596 No, the one that I live with. 123 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,297 You live with a child? 124 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,800 She does love a bib and a bedtime story. 125 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,870 I'm so glad your bestie's finally in town. 126 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,038 I just hope you don't love him more than me. 127 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,974 -Oh. (chuckles): Harper! -(chuckles) 128 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,842 I'm not ready to make that decision. 129 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,878 -(laughs) Oh! -(doorbell rings) 130 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,380 Do I look all right? 131 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,648 Dimitri-Pascual used to work the counter at Neiman's. 132 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:15,916 Oh, he sold clothes? 133 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,619 No. He just gave his unsolicited opinions. 134 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:19,953 And charged for them. 135 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,123 -Hey, girl, hey! -(giggling) 136 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,492 DIMITRI-PASCUAL and TINSLEY: Walk, walk, 137 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,660 walk, walk, walk, pose! 138 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,529 (laughing) 139 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,863 Ew. 140 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,465 -That'll be ten dollars. (laughs) -(laughs) 141 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:35,603 Harper, I want you to meet my ride-or-die, Dimitri-Pascual. 142 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:36,937 -(chuckles) -He's like Madonna. 143 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,672 -No. Last. Name. (laughs) -(chuckling) 144 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,274 -Oh! Mwah. Mwah. -Mwah. Mwah. 145 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,110 Mwah. Mwah. 146 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:48,148 OMG, you are serving disgusting, queen. 147 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,383 (chuckles) 148 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,485 I hope you catch chlamydia from a koala. 149 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,186 (Tinsley chuckles) 150 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,857 (quietly): Does this man think I have unsafe sex with koalas? 151 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,226 -Absolutely not. It's a compliment. -(chuckles) 152 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,596 -Dimitri-Pascual loves marsupials. -(chuckles) 153 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,265 Zoology. Look it up, you dumb whore. 154 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,135 -It's a compliment! -It's a compliment! 155 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,302 (laughing) 156 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,904 Thank you for cooking. 157 00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,507 But this looks like it was thrown up by an old person. 158 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:14,708 Walk? 159 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:15,809 -Walk. (chuckles) -(chuckles) 160 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,810 BOTH; Walk, 161 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,046 walk, walk, walk, walk. 162 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,717 You know who else had no last name?! 163 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,285 Satan. 164 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,159 Good afternoon, Carly Nation. 165 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:35,262 I interrupt your day with terrible news. 166 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,597 I, Carly Shay, 167 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,599 am the victim of a deepfake. 168 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,332 I'll let that sink in. 169 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,705 Tastes Famiglia is not endorsed by me. 170 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,939 Guys, 171 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,908 Deepfake Carly wants to join my live! 172 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,677 Let her in so you can confront her. 173 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,979 And I can try and tell 'em apart. 174 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,413 Tell her I said hi. 175 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,450 What? She may be a fraud, but she's still my sister. 176 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,151 My fraud sister. 177 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,020 My fister! 178 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,126 Hello, Deepfake Carly. 179 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,862 Looks like you finally decided to show my face. 180 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,298 Oh, Carly, I'm the real Carly. 181 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:14,401 And I, Carly, have nothing to hide. 182 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,369 You're the charlatan. 183 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:19,740 God, she always uses the coolest words. 184 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,475 Two of them. I don't want it 185 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,343 and yet I can't look away. 186 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,879 I have cold, hard evidence 187 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,149 that proves I am the one true Carly Shay. 188 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:33,320 To begin, I'll reveal something only the real Carly would know. 189 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,988 My first celebrity crush 190 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,191 was Foghorn Leghorn. 191 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,827 What? No. 192 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:44,397 I never had lustful yearnings for a shapely cartoon rooster! 193 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,500 Shapely? 194 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,901 And to prove it, 195 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,004 I'd like to share some of my Fog-Leg erotica. 196 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,173 (chuckles, clears throat) 197 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,408 "It was a quiet night in the henhouse when..." 198 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,476 Bye! 199 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,512 Who would do this to me? 200 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,380 Everybody likes me. 201 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,682 Except for Lewbert. 202 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,784 And Ms. Briggs, Wade Collins, Griffin... 203 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,486 Kyoko and Yuki, all the Pet-ographers... 204 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,522 Wes, Beau, me. 205 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,323 Should I just go get my binder? 206 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,725 Okay, fine. 207 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,762 I guess a few people have minor qualms with me. 208 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:15,996 But... 209 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,865 who would go to all this trouble? 210 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,733 I mean, it's so elaborate. 211 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,369 It's so evil. It's so... 212 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,772 -Nevel Papperman! -Mayor Pete Buttigieg! 213 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,473 Nevel Papperman. 214 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,883 I can't believe Nevel invited us 215 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:39,019 to an evil lair with no street parking. 216 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,088 Why is there so much cured meat? 217 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,890 Because he's a thoughtful host? 218 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,495 Well, well, well. 219 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,964 Carly Shay et al. 220 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,333 Allow me to explain. 221 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,803 (imitates Vito Corleone): There have been two great loves 222 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,504 of my life: 223 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,607 my beloved wife Prunella 224 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,042 and The Godfather, 225 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,410 a film... 226 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,545 I have never seen. 227 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,248 (normal voice): Such a fun vibe though. 228 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,382 Start with the third one. 229 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,619 The first two are garbage. 230 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,286 (squeals) Carly Shay! 231 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,354 Hi! 232 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,856 Oh, my God! 233 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,991 I haven't seen you since you were my bridesmaid. 234 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:18,992 Isn't that crazy? 235 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,393 I miss you so much! 236 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,663 How have you been, Mama? 237 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,965 Not great, Prunella. 238 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,936 Nevel, you need to stop this. 239 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,503 People are getting sick. 240 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,607 More importantly, my restaurant got shut down! 241 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,008 For two hours! 242 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,344 Is this all because I ruined your wedding? 243 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,378 Ruined? 244 00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,947 I thought our wedding was great. 245 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,050 I seem to remember one very handsome blond bombshell 246 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:46,253 who proved to be quite agile at the limbo. 247 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,622 It's in the hips. 248 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,793 But you failed to give us a gift within one year's time. 249 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,929 And, per Emily Post, you are punished. 250 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,032 Wait. Let me get this straight. 251 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,735 So you manufactured a toxic vegan product, 252 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,904 plastered my face all over it 253 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,906 and then deepfaked me to get my brother to sell it, 254 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,508 all because you had to buy your own freakin' KitchenAid? 255 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,810 Ooh! What color did you guys get? 256 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,611 -Oh. Rose gold. -That is so classy. 257 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,881 -Did you get the pasta attachments? -Oh, my God, did you make 258 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,116 -this sausage with the meat grinder? -Guys! 259 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,953 Look, this is ridiculous. 260 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,956 But I'll get you something if it means you'll leave me alone. 261 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:26,626 Something? Carly, you can't go off-registry. 262 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,162 Society has rules. 263 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,199 Fine. What's left? 264 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,701 Oh, my God. 265 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,236 A "Mess with Carly" fund? 266 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,740 Some couples do honey funds, but we honeymooned 267 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,310 at Grandpappa Papperman's palatial Polynesian palapa. 268 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,814 So we launched a "Mess with Carly" fund instead. 269 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,181 -(chuckles) -(chuckles) You see, 270 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,649 when this all began, 271 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,119 it was my love's elaborate scheme to exact revenge. 272 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,687 But then we realized we were having 273 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,388 the best sex of our lives, 274 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,324 and now it's just our thing. 275 00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,993 Did anyone get you guys a melon baller? 276 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,561 What I wouldn't give to wrap this 277 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,931 around a fresh hunk of cantaloupe right now. 278 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:07,300 We used the Carly fund to buy the rancid pork 279 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,102 in Tastes Famiglia. 280 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,337 Great price, too. 281 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,840 They were practically throwing it away. 282 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:13,774 (laughs) 283 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,976 Did you say "rancid pork?" 284 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,711 -Uh-huh. -Uh-huh. 285 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,380 Enough of this. 286 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,550 There is nothing you can do to get us to stop. 287 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,286 Nothing! (cackles) 288 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,189 (laughs, growls) 289 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,659 Pruney, your evil laugh is getting so sinister. 290 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,028 Oh. I learned from the best. 291 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,665 If there's nothing I can do to stop you, 292 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,700 then why did you make us come all the way down here? 293 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,838 'Cause seeing you squirm is really doing it for us. 294 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,239 (laughs) 295 00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,540 (both cackling) 296 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,580 Spencer, why are you laughing? 297 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,883 I'm very uncomfortable! 298 00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,921 So, during orientation of freshman year, 299 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,556 I threw an epic rager in her room, 300 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,125 and when the campus cops came, 301 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,527 I told them that the alcohol was Tinsley's, 302 00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:10,530 and this delinquent slut got put in front 303 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,032 of the disciplinary committee. 304 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,166 (laughs) 305 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,634 And you thought, 306 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,437 "This is a person I want to be friends with." 307 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,139 No, no, no, it was funny. 308 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,474 Daddy got LMFAO to speak at graduation, 309 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,410 and it all went away. 310 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,644 Well, if you had done that to me, 311 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,914 you'd have graduated to the cemetery. 312 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,950 I'm gonna go grab another drink. 313 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,019 But you still have so much left. 314 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,657 Mm. Not anymore. 315 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,226 I'll keep you company. 316 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,628 If I said I was going to pee instead, 317 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,131 -would that stop you? -Nope. 318 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,235 So, Dimitri-Pascual. 319 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,669 -Mm-hmm. -Two first names. 320 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,105 Got to be a story there. 321 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,574 Mmm, the story is: I'm gonna kill you. 322 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:55,943 The end. 323 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:59,412 Feels a little light in the middle. 324 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,081 You're kidding, right? 325 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,515 I'm not. 326 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,052 You see, when Tinsley's single, 327 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,888 she spoils me rotten like the little princeling that I am. 328 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,156 I'm like her child 329 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:12,225 and her boyfriend all rolled into one. 330 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,827 Well, I'm her girlfriend, 331 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,728 and our dynamic is normal, 332 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,065 so you and I need to coexist. 333 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,834 Oh, I don't coexist with anyone. 334 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,303 Just ask Cherry Jones. 335 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,078 Spencer's cool revenge idea number 48: 336 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:34,614 I marry Nevel's mother and put him up for adoption. 337 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,583 No need to get family courts involved. 338 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:37,918 They're busy enough. 339 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,120 Spencer's cool revenge idea number 49: 340 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:43,290 We fill Nevel's car with Livestrong bracelets. 341 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,592 How many Livestrong bracelets did you buy? 342 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,895 I thought I was helping. 343 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,131 Look, Nevel and Prunella are just 344 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,432 trying to get a rise out of me, 345 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,833 so I'm ignoring them 346 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,702 and letting the chips fall where they may. 347 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:58,138 Fall, chips, fall. 348 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,574 Ooh, Carly. You got to see this live. 349 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,112 Looking for a cure to solve all your ailments? 350 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,148 Then I, Freddie Benson, have the answer for you. 351 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,616 Tastes Famiglia. 352 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,985 Endorsed by me, Freddie Benson. 353 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,321 Thank God I never took his last name. 354 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:18,458 If you lack bladder control-- and I know I do-- 355 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,160 bang! Tastes Famiglia. 356 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,830 And if you have head-to-toe dry skin... 357 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,565 -And there goes his shirt. -I know I do. 358 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,501 Wow, he is surprisingly jacked. 359 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,905 * D is for your doppelganger out in cyberspace * 360 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,307 * "E" is for... * Ew, that's me! 361 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,609 Oh yeah, baby, 362 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,946 that's nice. 363 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,283 Okay, obviously that is also a deepfake. 364 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,019 But I do love what they did with my torso. 365 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,420 Aah! 366 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,489 Game over, bitch. 367 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,458 Oh, I'm sorry, Millicent. 368 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,960 That wasn't to you. 369 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,302 First they came for me, 370 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,603 I was fine. 371 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,438 Then they came for my brother. 372 00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,607 -Also fine. -Wha... 373 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,609 But now they come for my man? 374 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,745 My sweet, defenseless little man? 375 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,514 I'm a yellow belt. 376 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,550 Hear my battle cry! 377 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,352 (shrieks) 378 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,488 Here's the plan. 379 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,023 We'll surround them at the warehouse. 380 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,524 Spencer, at this point, 381 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,693 you'll already have wrangled all the schnauzers. 382 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,261 Where did you get this egg? 383 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,863 It's very important that I know. 384 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,033 Once we get them out of the warehouse, 385 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:36,036 Harper, you'll need to blindfold and handcuff them immediately. 386 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,271 Got it. The only handcuffs I have are pink and fuzzy. 387 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,339 Will that work? 388 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,141 Can people get out of them? 389 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,909 Only if they use their safe word. 390 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,844 Perfect. Freddie, 391 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,579 you'll knock 'em out with chlorophyll. 392 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,349 I think you mean chloroform. 393 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,319 I mean, what? 394 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,989 Do we know anyone with a really big trunk 395 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,590 and access to a landfill? 396 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,692 Okay, honey, I'm gonna stop you right there. 397 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,328 Oh, please, Freddie, we could never fit 398 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,762 a whole body into your Yaris. 399 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,631 It barely gets off the ground with groceries. 400 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,400 While I love this aggro energy, 401 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,902 we do not need to do an actual murder. 402 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,272 Okay? We just... 403 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,906 we just need to get into their heads. 404 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,342 And I think I know how. 405 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,277 -With a drill? -Yes! 406 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,911 (cheering) 407 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,147 Okay, 408 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,050 everyone needs to take off the camo. 409 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,318 (groaning) 410 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,557 Sorry I didn't exactly hit it off with Dimitri-Pascual. 411 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,525 But it's nice to have some alone time again. 412 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,095 Why are you setting a third plate? 413 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,663 I'm not. 414 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,032 -I didn't. -(doorbell rings) 415 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,433 I did. 416 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,537 Hey, hags. 417 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,208 Tinsley told me you got a little bit in your feels, 418 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:52,679 so I made you a "sorry you have no sense of humor" casserole. 419 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,182 I'm kidding. 420 00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,417 I'm laughing. 421 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,387 I'm so glad you're both open to try again. 422 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,021 It means a lot to me. 423 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:05,157 Oh, I would do anything for you, my putrid little hellhound. 424 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,228 Why don't you make like the kitchen wench you are 425 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,762 and grab us some sporks? 426 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,964 (laughs) 427 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,435 It's so sweet of you 428 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,170 to spend your last night in town 429 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,271 at my humble abode. 430 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,442 Humble is the perfect word for it. 431 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,945 Oh! 432 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,248 (laughs) 433 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,683 Ooh, "cheese-ay." 434 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,553 I thought you were vegan? 435 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,255 Or is that just one of your phases, 436 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,924 like coffee enemas or clowning? 437 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,661 It is vegan, but you won't even be able to tell 438 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:45,765 because it has the sturdiness of meat. 439 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,435 Sturdiness? 440 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:52,205 And the plush mouthfeel of pasta. 441 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,940 Mouthfeel? 442 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,042 Does it also cure a variety of ailments? 443 00:17:56,143 --> 00:18:00,513 Well, why don't you take a bite and find out? 444 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,649 Well, in my culture, 445 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,418 the chef always takes the first bite. 446 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,422 Well, in my nearby, adjacent culture, 447 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,591 the chef watches in delight 448 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,294 as the host takes the first bite 449 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,596 and swallows it. 450 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,031 Since it's my home... 451 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,467 I'm starving, so if you don't mind, 452 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,068 I'm just gonna dive right in. 453 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,836 (distorted): No! 454 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,004 (distorted): No! 455 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,577 You can't eat that, Tinsley. 456 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,112 It's Tastes Famiglia, 457 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,081 so it's disgusting. 458 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,383 Not in a good way. 459 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,950 And it might murder you. 460 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,153 -Also not in a good way. -(Tinsley gasps) 461 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,389 Is this true? 462 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,056 Are you trying to poison me? 463 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,826 Tins, I would never. 464 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,795 I was trying to poison her. 465 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,330 Oh! 466 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,732 (exclaims) 467 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:53,933 I'm gonna say something to you 468 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,502 I should have said a long time ago. 469 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,836 You're not funny 470 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,206 and I want you out of my life, Andrew. 471 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,273 (gasps) 472 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,708 But-but-but, 473 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,376 without me, you're just another rich bitch. 474 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,444 -Oh. -I am 475 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,346 the Leah Remini to your J.Lo. 476 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:09,549 I am the LeFou to your Gaston. 477 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,883 Well, she's a rich bitch in love. 478 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,187 Rejection. Look it up, you dumb whore. 479 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,956 Oh, Harper. 480 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,792 I should have trusted you about Dimitri-Pascual. 481 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,994 I am gonna miss him, though. 482 00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:25,198 Who's gonna call me a ghastly little troll now? 483 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,400 I will. 484 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,168 Because I'm your girlfriend. 485 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,137 And our dynamic is normal. 486 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,640 (gasps) 487 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,042 -What is it? -I think I owe Cherry Jones 488 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,211 a huge apology. 489 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:43,383 We are the masterminds behind Tastes Famiglia. 490 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:47,554 I rue the day I ever ruined Carly's credibility. 491 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:48,855 Hey, that's my line. 492 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,223 Oh, my God, but it's so fun to say. 493 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,959 "Rue." Yeah, it is. (chuckles) 494 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,696 In our defense, messing with Carly et al 495 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:59,266 really spiced up our sex life. 496 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,767 Which we needed. 497 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,470 I mean, I really just lie there like a starfish. 498 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,372 You'd think two evil geniuses 499 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,507 would be dynamos in the sack. 500 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,709 But you would be wrong. 501 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,978 In conclusion, 502 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,246 we're bad at sex, 503 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,415 and we're very sorry. 504 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,683 And cut. 505 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,251 And gross. 506 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:22,455 That is a wrap on iCarly's first deepfake operation. 507 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,990 And our last, God willing. 508 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,492 I'd actually love another take 509 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,126 now that I've had a run at it. 510 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,162 And now we wait. 511 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,230 (phone chimes) 512 00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:32,865 Ooh, that was quick. 513 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,067 Nevel says they'll stop if we stop. 514 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,035 (laughs) 515 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,604 And also, he's very virile. 516 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,806 -(phone chimes) -Like a cobra. 517 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,708 -(phone chimes) -A cobra with a sex addiction. 518 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,709 -(groans) -(phone chimes) 519 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,744 But only for his wife. 520 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:48,014 Aw. Good for them. 521 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,986 Pruney, no. I can change. 522 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,323 Or stay the same. Whatever you want. 523 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,591 I haven't really been listening. 524 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,660 Messing with Carly was all we had. 525 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,961 Now that that's over, 526 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,430 so are we. 527 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,299 And I'm taking the KitchenAid. 528 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,301 With the pasta attachment? 529 00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,036 How will I extrude? 530 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,972 I mean, don't go. I love you. 531 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,341 Ugh! 532 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,675 (gasps) 533 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,211 "Here's a wedding gift to keep things spicy. 534 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,747 "Do not contact me. 535 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,715 Carly Shay." 536 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,016 What do you say-- 537 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,619 should we give it another shot? 538 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,289 Let's get the limbo stick, baby. 539 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,159 Ooh!