1 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,538 I can't believe it's our ten-year reunion. 2 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:05,939 And can I just say... 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,508 we turned out hot. 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:10,211 All right, which is better? 5 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,979 Like this? 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:12,980 FREDDY: Hmm. 7 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,549 Or... like this? 8 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,452 I mean, definitely number two. 9 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,989 You are gonna look so good in the class photo, but... 10 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:26,427 can I just ask lovingly, and with my full support, 11 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,162 why are you wearing a mortarboard? 12 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,763 Oh, I graduated remotely 13 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,299 because I was in Italy for most of senior year. 14 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,734 So I missed the class photo 15 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,237 where everybody got to wear this cool hat. 16 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,172 I also missed prom, the senior prank, 17 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,308 and "Cups" by Anna Kendrick. 18 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,376 That was a big moment. 19 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,446 But being in the class photo 20 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,382 is the one thing I can make up for tonight. 21 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:52,353 Are you ready to rock Ridgeway for one last ride? 22 00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:54,822 Oh, vroom vroom. 23 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:59,260 * * 24 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,862 (deep inhale, sigh) 25 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,298 The smell of feet sweat, off-brand sports drink, 26 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:07,601 and pretending to have your period to get out of gym. 27 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,438 I'm so excited to reconnect with everyone. 28 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,839 You know, after you and Sam took off, 29 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:13,974 I was a bit of a social butterfly. 30 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,609 It's no big deal, though. 31 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,712 It's not like I was the coolest, most popular guy in school. 32 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:22,283 Aw. No one was saying that, sweetie. 33 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,519 Oh, snap, it's the coolest, most popular guy in school. 34 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,722 You'd better stop it. 35 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,791 Rip-off Rodney says you're cool, huh? 36 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,360 How much did you pay him to say that? 37 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,562 Nothing. First compliment's free. 38 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,464 But the next one's gonna cost you. 39 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,732 I'm sorry, did you even go here? 40 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,702 What? Rodney, it's me, Carly. 41 00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:44,003 You sold me that cell phone that was actually an old beeper 42 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,374 and then that beeper that was actually an old calculator. 43 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,543 I went here from grades K through 11. 44 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,944 That explains it. 45 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,080 Anything before senior year is irrelevant. 46 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,616 * I know * 47 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,251 * You see * 48 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,453 * Somehow the world will change for me * 49 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,790 * And be so wonderful * 50 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:06,460 * So wake up the members of my nation * 51 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,461 * It's your time to be * 52 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,299 * There's no chance unless you take one * 53 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,901 * And the time to see the brighter side * 54 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,638 * Of every situation * 55 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,407 * Some things are meant to be * 56 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:24,378 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 57 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,782 Okay, even if everything before senior year is irrelevant, 58 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,218 tonight's what matters, right? 59 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,620 -Oh! God, why? -Oh, my God! 60 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,588 It's me, Magic Malika! 61 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,924 Freddie "The Kingpin" Benson? 62 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,459 Kingpin? 63 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,561 Did you, like, break into the bowling alley or something? 64 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,263 Yeah. We did. 65 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,098 Jiminy Christmas. That's cool. 66 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:49,703 Get this: we bowled in our street shoes. 67 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,773 -Uh. Uh. -Uh. Uh. 68 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,576 -Sneaker sisters. -Sneaker sisters. 69 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,977 (laughter) 70 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,447 Remember junior year when I was still here 71 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,981 and we took the SATs? 72 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:04,218 Wow, the SATs are considered culturally offensive. 73 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,554 Maybe we should go take the class photo 74 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,188 before that gets canceled, too. 75 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,123 They're taking a class photo? 76 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:13,193 I should go make these blackheads... disappear. 77 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,964 (laughing) 78 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:22,570 Chugga chugga choo choo! This is how we do, do! 79 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,539 Barry! Toby! My training bros! 80 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,809 TOGETHER: Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga... 81 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,245 Oh, right. Your model train club. 82 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,380 -Yeah. -Hi. 83 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,481 Oh, hey, Carly. 84 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,182 Freddie. What's up, F-Train? 85 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:38,418 F-Train? Another nickname I've never heard. 86 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:42,256 Remember when we rode the rails like westward vagabonds? 87 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,025 Ah, I can't believe we drank out of paper bags. 88 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:49,397 We were so cool. No one could see our O'Doul's. 89 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,866 Guys. Should we put our drinks in brown paper bags right now 90 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:56,270 and go chug 'em in the janitor's closet like dirtbags? 91 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,739 We can even leave Janitor Mike a funny note. 92 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:02,843 He, um... died senior year. 93 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,212 In that closet. 94 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,780 R.I.P. Big Mike. 95 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,086 Hey, there's my favorite volunteer. 96 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,121 Hey, Dad. 97 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,389 The caterers just quit. 98 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,325 Something about a salmonella outbreak. 99 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,692 Chicken skewer? 100 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,293 TOBY: "Dad"? 101 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,363 Is this Little F-Train? 102 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,132 No, this is Millicent. 103 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,202 If you guys are just handing out nicknames, 104 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,038 maybe I could get one? 105 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:34,308 May I suggest Mortarboard Mama? 106 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,444 Uh, CarlyWuzHere? 107 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,412 -CamGirl69? -Uh... 108 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,881 It's my favorite number because it looks like a yin-yang. 109 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,817 * * 110 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,286 Help yourself to snacks. Here are your drink tickets. 111 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,289 Your kids are in good hands, unless someone gets hurt. 112 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,659 I don't do well with blood. 113 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,329 Nope, I don't want to be on the news. 114 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,830 SPENCER: Wait! Harper! Harper! 115 00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,267 I want you to meet my kids! 116 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,473 Please tell me this isn't a Nick Cannon situation. 117 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:06,874 Of course not. 118 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,743 I don't know any of their mothers. 119 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,179 These are my Spoppers and Spopettes. 120 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,981 See, I've been donating my seed... 121 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:14,982 Ugh. 122 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,850 -Sorry, my sperm. -(gags) 123 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,352 Apologies. My DNA? 124 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,687 I'll accept. 125 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,622 To a cryobank. See, I needed money 126 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,823 after I dropped out of law school 127 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,091 to help pay for art supplies. 128 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,460 So I figured, hey, I'll be a hero. 129 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,297 But at some point, it stopped being a job and started being 130 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,599 a hobby? 131 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,868 These are your literal children? 132 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,538 For tax purposes, no. 133 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,873 For organ donation purposes, maybe. 134 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:41,642 Does Carly know? 135 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,243 I don't know, ask Carly. 136 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,947 How can you even be sure these are really your kids? 137 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,788 (laughing) 138 00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,826 Okay, I see the resemblance now. 139 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,194 (ringing) 140 00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:05,999 Gather ye round, Spoppers and Spopettes! 141 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:10,037 Now, I know you think you're just here to meet your Spiblings 142 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,405 and your Spoppa. 143 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:14,207 But as you know by now, I am a fine artiste. 144 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,077 And, as my progeny, you are my muses. 145 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,713 Or should I say, my Spmuses. 146 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:24,585 And as great artists have said since the dawn of time: 147 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:25,653 who wants pizza? 148 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,087 (cheering) 149 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,891 Ooh, I smell sausage. Out of the way, Splosers! 150 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,695 Hello. What's your name? 151 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:35,963 Potter. 152 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,265 Hi, Potter. Do you not like pizza? 153 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,033 I do, but I brought my own lunch. 154 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,736 It's pretty much the only thing I eat. 155 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,272 Aah! Spaghetti tacos? 156 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,209 I know a parent is never supposed to choose favorites. 157 00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:52,179 But I am gonna learn your last name. 158 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,448 * * 159 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,650 Hi. 160 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,488 There's got to be someone here that wants to see me. 161 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,456 Not him. 162 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,024 Carly Shay. 163 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:09,329 Shane. Wow, I haven't seen you since you fell down... 164 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,364 someone's elevator shaft. 165 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,967 Yeah. You know, lying at the bottom 166 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,236 of that cold, dark shaft and spending months 167 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:19,973 in a body cast... helped me realize my purpose. 168 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,009 That's amazing. But what is it? 169 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,145 Engineering? Medicine? Saving the bees? 170 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,780 I just read an article about that. 171 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,682 (groans) I am, uh, deathly allergic 172 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,217 to all stinging insects. 173 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:34,421 Actually, I head the physical education curriculum 174 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:35,689 right here at Ridgeway. 175 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,925 You're a gym teacher? 176 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,861 I mean, no, that, that's neat. 177 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,329 You get to wear shorts to work. 178 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:46,199 I wear joggers, Carly. I'm a professional. 179 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,801 Yes, of course. 180 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:51,471 But you do teach fun stuff, 181 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,274 not "this matters" stuff. 182 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:01,014 Principal Franklin. Wait, I thought you retired. 183 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,850 Can we call you Ted now? 184 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,317 Nope. 185 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,886 I'm on the reunion circuit, 186 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,255 mostly for the free drinks and occasional gifts. 187 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,791 Plus, I get to wear this shirt. 188 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:12,760 Well, I'd consider it a real gift 189 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,962 to stand next to you in the class photo. 190 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,664 You could even flip my tassel. 191 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:20,267 But, Carly, the class photo is only for Ridgeway graduates. 192 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,770 (chuckles) 193 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,137 I don't get it. 194 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,974 Of course you don't. You never graduated. 195 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,615 How could she not have graduated? 196 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,049 Am I dating a high school dropout? 197 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,885 Am I a bad boy? 198 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,453 I went to a little bit of college. 199 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,157 So I know for a fact my credits transferred. 200 00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:45,559 Not true. 201 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,260 I remember because when I reviewed your paperwork, 202 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,863 I laughed and laughed. 203 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,465 You had an incomplete in phys ed. 204 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,902 (laughs) It's still funny. 205 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,804 I took gym in Italy. 206 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,939 Tuscan strolls didn't transfer? 207 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,975 So, what you're saying is, I can't be a part 208 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,544 of the class photo that I've waited ten years to be in 209 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,146 because of gym? 210 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,716 The one class that teaches skills I'll never even use? 211 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:11,318 Those skills are good for your heart, your lungs, your joints-- 212 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,486 Whose side are you on, mine or gym? 213 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,522 It's also a good stress reliever. 214 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,259 We sent several notices to the address your brother gave us: 215 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:23,931 500 Whichever Way the Tower of Pisa Leans, Italy, no zip code. 216 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,935 So, my dreams of being forever immortalized 217 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,070 with the class of 2013 are dashed 218 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,674 because I never mastered the frigging monkey bars? 219 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,144 I'm confused why the photo's more important than the diploma. 220 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,712 It's not even about the photo. 221 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,348 I missed so many milestones senior year, 222 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,151 and that was the one that I could finally be a part of. 223 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,520 Why don't you just ask Shane to pass you? 224 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,689 I mean, he's the... 225 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,590 (chuckles) the gym teacher. 226 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:51,992 That's a great idea. 227 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,393 Do you think that he would do it tonight? 228 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,762 I mean, why wouldn't he? 229 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,697 He's here, I'm here, the photographer's here. 230 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:02,502 I am going to graduate the chiz out of high school. 231 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,005 Who could say no to this energy? 232 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,206 No. 233 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,511 Blood of my blood. 234 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,647 Hear my decree. 235 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:17,050 Consider the great masterpieces of the human era: 236 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,919 Mona Lisa. Starry Night. 237 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:23,791 Bette Midler's rendition of "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." 238 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,193 And yet they are all trash 239 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,730 when you compare them to my latest installation 240 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,099 Mount Spencemore! 241 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,235 -Ooh. -Wow. 242 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,505 Who is buying your art? 243 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,574 Spoppers and Spopettes! Assemble! 244 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,512 Yes, safely find a face hole. 245 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,348 Yes. 246 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,150 -Spoppa? -What is it, Potter? 247 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,719 There's no face hole for me. 248 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,554 What? How is that possible? 249 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,858 No, wait... 250 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,761 There are only ten holes for 11 kids. 251 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,629 And I feel like you should get Potter in there. 252 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,898 She really gonna shine on camera. 253 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,599 But there should be enough for everyone. 254 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,435 You know what this means, right? 255 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:12,840 Yes. But I don't want to show off, so you say it first. 256 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,008 There's an imposter among us. 257 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,377 An imSpopster! 258 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,112 Oh, I love solving mysteries. 259 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,414 I wish I had a magnifying glass and a pipe. 260 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,549 It wouldn't help me solve anything, 261 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,384 but I know I'd look good. 262 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:27,220 But how will we figure out who the imSpopster is? 263 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,723 Ah, I need my thinking cookie. 264 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,227 Okay, that's why Carly only lets you eat cookies 265 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,229 over the toilet. 266 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:43,303 I think I know how we can find the imSpopster. 267 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,705 How? 268 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,742 I already missed senior year. 269 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,277 Can't you just pass me? 270 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,279 If I'm not in the photo, it's like I don't even exist. 271 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:56,549 And exist she must. F-Train don't date no ghost. 272 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,485 Okay, I am an educator, hmm? 273 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:02,355 I don't just hand out credits like raisins on Halloween. 274 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:07,560 All students must complete the Lance Armstrong Fitness Test. 275 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,563 Uh, formerly the OJ Simpson Fitness Test. 276 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,199 They're a little slow to catch up. 277 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,335 I can't wait until your generation 278 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,904 is no longer in charge. 279 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,505 Hey. Get back to work, okay? 280 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,308 Those mini quiches are not gonna replenish themselves. 281 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,243 Don't talk to my kid like that, all right? 282 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,511 She's volunteering her time. 283 00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,246 Volunteering? Uh, no. 284 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,481 This is her detention. 285 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,651 That's right, gym teachers can give out detention. 286 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:35,588 Yeah, we've got a lot going on for ourselves. 287 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,326 Millicentia Mitchell. 288 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,560 You got detention? 289 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,095 I'd love to stay and chat, 290 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,198 but millennials need their egg pies. 291 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:50,303 Hey, what were we talking about? 292 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:51,471 Oh, yeah. 293 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,106 How the body is the temple, 294 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,209 but the gym teacher is the shaman. 295 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,377 Your Holiness. 296 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:03,116 As I always say to my most useless students, good effort. 297 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,319 Okay, fine. I'll test you. 298 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,754 But you'd better not besmirch 299 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:10,423 the good name of Lance Armstrong. 300 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,192 Thank you, Shane. 301 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,194 So, you'll pass me tonight, then I'll be in the photo, 302 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,996 and then I'll come back next week to take the test. 303 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,031 Oh, how I cherish our friendship so. 304 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,034 No, no, this cannot still be my problem next week. 305 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,437 If you want to take the test, you are doing it tonight. 306 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,474 But I thought I was super clear. 307 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,642 I don't want to take the test. 308 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,914 * * 309 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,750 Yep, she's one of yours. 310 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,419 Nice work. Next! 311 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:42,722 Would you like some milk? 312 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,257 (Spencer scoffs) 313 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,658 You never take the milk. 314 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,061 A rule I still don't understand. 315 00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,830 BOTH: The imSpopster. 316 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,868 (both groan) 317 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,237 Ten cookie tests, all passed with flying colors, 318 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:01,541 which must mean that the remaining kid is the imSpopster. 319 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,176 Yeah, but who's left? 320 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,514 It's Potter! No, not my favorite! 321 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,782 Why couldn't it have been this one? 322 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,418 (alarm blaring) 323 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,153 What? 324 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,022 -What, what is go...? -(child coughs) 325 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,257 Mount Spencemore! 326 00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,801 Potter! Are you okay? 327 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,271 It was a mistake, Spoppa, I swear. 328 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,607 Sometimes I just touch things and they burst into flames. 329 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,875 (gasps) 330 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:39,846 I know, my beloved. I know. 331 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:43,450 Spencer, you are the father. 332 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:47,654 Okay, this is it. 333 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,290 The moment you've been waiting for: 334 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,893 the Lance Armstrong Fitness Test. 335 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,062 And, like Lance Armstrong, 336 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,663 I am ready to infuse myself 337 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,131 with my own refrigerated blood. 338 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,167 Mm-hmm. All you need to do 339 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,270 is successfully complete one of three exercises: 340 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,271 Wind sprints. 341 00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:05,272 Ugh. 342 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,340 -Rope climbing. -Ugh! 343 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,641 Or the sit-and-reach. 344 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,642 Thank God. 345 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,211 Yeah, that's the one. 346 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,812 Are you ready? 347 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,582 No. I pulled a muscle sneezing earlier. 348 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,850 But here we are. 349 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,619 Let's do this. 350 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,955 * * 351 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,892 -(growls) -(growls) 352 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,660 (blows whistle) 353 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,498 * * 354 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:35,768 (blows whistle) 355 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,130 (grunting) 356 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,033 I did it, Shane, 357 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,302 I got past my knees. 358 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,472 Yeah, I know. 359 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,947 Sorry, Carly. You'll get 'em next time. 360 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:21,948 Next time? 361 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,284 There is no "next time." 362 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:28,855 What's the point in graduating if tonight was already a bust? 363 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,059 What's the point in graduating high school? 364 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,660 Class photo time! 365 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,330 Ridgeway graduates, line up in front of the bleachers! 366 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,532 You better get up there, Captain Popular. 367 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,769 Damn it, I just gave you another nickname. 368 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:46,706 The only nickname I have ever wanted is Mr. iCarly. 369 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,077 Who cares if you're not up there in the class photo? 370 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:53,413 No one can erase you from my high school experience. 371 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,348 You were the most memorable part. 372 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,518 Aw, look who finally got together. 373 00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,686 (chuckles) 374 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,288 Camgirl and F-Train. 375 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,692 Come on, dude. Training bros don't stand in the caboose. 376 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,493 That means the back. 377 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,529 (sighs) 378 00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,564 Go for it. Really. 379 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:12,799 Are you sure? 380 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,934 Smile big enough for the both of us. 381 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,440 Wow, he really went. 382 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,442 Carly, wait. 383 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,742 Yes? 384 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,179 Can you take the picture? 385 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,815 Sure. 386 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,089 Everyone say... 387 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,724 -(buzzing) -Help! -Shane! 388 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,627 Oh, of course. How could we forget Shane? 389 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,295 Thanks, Carly. 390 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,796 Help! Wasps! 391 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:48,735 Wasps? Shane is deathly allergic to all stinging insects! 392 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,507 Oh, yeah, yeah, that nest has been there for years. 393 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,476 Well, it's not my problem. 394 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,913 Don't worry, Shane, I'm coming! 395 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:03,916 EpiPen. (gasps) In my bag. 396 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,754 * * 397 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,328 Oh, wait, no, this is just a marker. 398 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,730 * * 399 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,567 (gasping): Epi... pen. 400 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,901 (Shane gasping) 401 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:26,173 We meet again, you raggedy bitch. 402 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,640 (buzzing) 403 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,077 (grunting) 404 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,247 Come on, Carly. Go! 405 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,582 (grunting) 406 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,391 (gasps) 407 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,958 (all gasping) 408 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,594 Oh no. 409 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,830 Now I just have to sit... and... 410 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,799 -Reach! -(grunts) 411 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,268 By golly, she's gonna do it. 412 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,337 She's gonna sit and reach. 413 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,671 (grunting) 414 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,507 Ah! 415 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,441 (all gasping) 416 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,575 (grunts) 417 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,477 (gasping) 418 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,013 (cheering) 419 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:10,082 See, I told you phys ed is important. 420 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:13,152 Oh, shh, rest now. 421 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,021 You're talking nonsense. 422 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,858 Oh, thank you for keeping her safe. 423 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,193 It's the least I could do. 424 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,330 That's not true, I could've hired security. 425 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,931 Wait, I'm still confused. 426 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:27,867 If you only tracked down ten kids, why did 11 show up? 427 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:31,571 Oh, I might be able to explain that. 428 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,872 Spencer didn't track us down. 429 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,574 I tracked him down. 430 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:39,646 I'm a nurse at the "bank" where Spencer made his "deposits." 431 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,382 His sample was super popular. 432 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,351 So height is that important. 433 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,485 It is. 434 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,788 When I decided to have a baby on my own, I figured, hey, 435 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,923 everyone steals office supplies. 436 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,926 Legally, you should stop talking now. 437 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,063 -Hey, so you're a nurse, huh? -Mm-hmm. 438 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,498 Sounds like the kind of boring job 439 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,333 where I could do most of the talking. 440 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,935 Would you want to grab a drink sometime? 441 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,304 It's not like we haven't already 442 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,605 consummated the relationship. (chuckles) 443 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,641 I think that could be fun. 444 00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,110 For me, it already was. 445 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,047 Oh, no, you didn't hurt your wrist, did you? 446 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,249 Uh, no. 447 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,919 Oh, great, then you can sign this. 448 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,791 Bye. Have fun. 449 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:28,995 So, how's your Shirley Temple? 450 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:32,632 Soured by the taste of fibbery and hogwash? 451 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,002 Why didn't you just tell me you had detention? 452 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,970 You should never feel scared to tell me anything. 453 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,274 I know. It's not like you would "ground" me. 454 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,109 "Go to your room!" Oh, no. 455 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,646 Alone time with all my cool stuff? 456 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,215 You can always be honest with me. 457 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,850 Although I should really think of some punishments 458 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,419 with actual consequences. 459 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:55,187 It's good to have goals. 460 00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,460 I am officially a high school graduate. 461 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,062 You know, you could've handed me toilet paper 462 00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:04,864 and I'd have signed off on it. 463 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,668 (groans) I am toasted, mang. 464 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,872 Wow, Carly, that was one for the history books. 465 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,941 And... for the yearbooks. 466 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:18,345 Like a yearbook for the reunion? 467 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,148 So, did I earn a nickname? 468 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,084 Life Alert? 469 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:26,853 Or... 470 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,688 CamGirl69... 471 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,257 Nope! Life Alert works. Trust me. 472 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,194 I love it. Photo time! 473 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:39,432 Everybody stop talking so we can capture this cherished memory. 474 00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:45,872 Hey, camera. Take a picture. 475 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,676 I'm proud of you, Life Alert. 476 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,878 Thanks, Mr. iCarly. 477 00:21:57,283 --> 00:22:00,887 * * 478 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,793 Chugga chugga choo choo, this is how we... 479 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,928 Don't, don't. 480 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:14,066 Nope, I don't want to be on the news. 481 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,802 W-W-Wait, w-wait, come here, w-wait. 482 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,771 Spauntie? And is that my Spuncle? 483 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,308 I don't know how to answer that question. 484 00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:24,944 Carly, this is my biological daughter 485 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,813 and your niece Potter. 486 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,651 Is now a bad time to tell you 487 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,854 there's ten more of these little stonkers? 488 00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:07,720 Ooh!