1 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:03,971 * * 2 00:00:04,072 --> 00:00:06,374 (cheering) 3 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:09,143 Okay, Danica, spill the beans. 4 00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:11,645 Where are we going for my bachelorette party, hmm? 5 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,848 Burlesque seafood buffet in Reno? 6 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,518 The theme was going to be "Trapped in a Mine." 7 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,288 You know, because marriage is a trap. 8 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,022 But Carly vetoed my idea 9 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,425 without so much as a petite rendezvous. 10 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,828 We are going to... 11 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,997 Ohio! 12 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,101 I said... 13 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,203 Ohio! 14 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,638 We heard you. 15 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,174 Wait. Are we gonna be on my favorite TV show 16 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,342 Toledo House Flip? 17 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,211 No. 18 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,847 But we are going to the "Party Like They Do 19 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:50,584 on Toledo House Flip Experience." 20 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,287 You know how gals go to New York 21 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,988 to do the Sex and the City tours? 22 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,991 So, it's gonna be exactly like that, except we're going to be 23 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:02,062 "remodeling" a house in the Midwest. 24 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,498 We're gonna have so much fun. 25 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,033 Placing succulents in corners, 26 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:09,403 and choosing between zebra and giraffe wallpaper. 27 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:13,507 And screwing in Edison light bulbs while drinking mimosas. 28 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,410 So you changed the entire weekend on a whim? 29 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,646 Classic Carly. 30 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:23,651 Don't worry. I approved Carly's itinerary, which means a lot 31 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,786 because I'm the queen of bachelorette parties. 32 00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,655 You've been a maid of honor before? 33 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:31,192 14 times. All featured in Bachelorette Party magazine. 34 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,626 Self-published. 35 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,297 Hey. Did you tell her? 36 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:37,965 Did you tell her? Did she freak out? 37 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,967 Did she... flip? 38 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,536 Yoo-hoo, Freddie, a word? 39 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,972 Hey, um, question. 40 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,008 When you hear "Classic Carly"... 41 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,610 Oh, no. My mom said "Classic Carly"? 42 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,479 Why, what does it mean? 43 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,815 My mom kind of thinks that you're... 44 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,650 impulsive, unreliable, disrespectful to elders, 45 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,485 and prone to hijacking a weekend. 46 00:01:58,586 --> 00:01:59,987 Is that all? 47 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,055 No. She also thinks you have poor posture. 48 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,491 But that's all. 49 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,660 I am going to prove to her this weekend 50 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,929 that I am respectful, reliable, 51 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,332 and that I can stand up straight. 52 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,933 God, my spine burns. 53 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,603 Don't worry, okay? She's gonna love it. 54 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:19,307 Have fun. I love you. 55 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,008 And I love you, Millicent. 56 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,144 -Millicent? -Bye. 57 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,846 Fredward, I just-- 58 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:26,847 Bye, Danica. 59 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,782 -Take care, Harps. -Oh. 60 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:32,420 And now a goodbye to the one I'm going to miss the most... 61 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,021 Ooh. 62 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,122 Carly. 63 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,558 (laughing) 64 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,661 Sorry, what did you want to tell me, Mom? 65 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,196 I don't recall. 66 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,598 Then it must not have been important. (chuckles) 67 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,200 See ya, Mama. Hang loose. 68 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,336 Hang looser. 69 00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,471 (sighs) 70 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,640 Classic Carly. 71 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,279 * I know * 72 00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,913 * You see * 73 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,982 * Somehow the world will change for me * 74 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:05,253 * And be so wonderful * 75 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:08,922 * So wake up the members of my nation * 76 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,124 * It's your time to be * 77 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:14,228 * There's no chance unless you take one * 78 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,564 * And the time to see the brighter side * 79 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:20,133 * Of every situation * 80 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,102 * Some things are meant to be * 81 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,940 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 82 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,011 * * 83 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,648 How fun is flying Southwest? 84 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,551 You never know where you're gonna sit. 85 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,821 And yet somehow I ended up next to you. 86 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,258 Is this a murder house? 87 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,659 (all scream) 88 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,728 (singsongy): There was never a conviction. 89 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:55,102 Hi. So, the brochure made it seem less, um, meth-y? 90 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,905 And I'm very dependable, 91 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,141 so I wouldn't have booked something meth-y. 92 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,845 You're saying meth a lot. Let me see your teeth. 93 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,615 Welcome, ladies. 94 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,651 I'm Emily Haines, and I'm honored you booked 95 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:15,489 the "Party Like They Do on Toledo House Flip Experience." 96 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,225 Rehabbing a home is good for the soul. 97 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,726 Talk to Carly about rehab, 98 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,296 she's the one who's babbling on about meth. 99 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,598 This is the bride, Marissa. 100 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,099 I'm the maid of honor. 101 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,735 One would think I would've been the one 102 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,169 to pick what we're doing this weekend, 103 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,638 but one would be wrong. 104 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,141 Now, I just need one member of the group 105 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,310 to sign here so we can get started. 106 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:40,481 I know it's called "Party Like They Do on Toledo House Flip," 107 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,550 but it's strange because it seems like 108 00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,619 we're about to be doing actual labor? 109 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,922 Relax, it's all part of the experience. 110 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:53,494 Plus, you get to wear jumpsuits! 111 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,028 Oh, good. 112 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,632 Manual labor and you're making it harder for me to pee. 113 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:02,903 Never underestimate the power of women in pink jumpsuits. 114 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,538 Amen. 115 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,307 Now, hand over your phones. 116 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,643 When we unplug from the world, 117 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,512 we plug in with each other. 118 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,747 Ooh, plug language. 119 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,916 I definitely want to plug in with y'all. 120 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,986 So, hand them over, ladies. 121 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:25,225 Where we're going, we don't need phones. 122 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,528 It's weird. For someone so claustrophobic, 123 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,898 you sure do enjoy invading others' personal space. 124 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,602 * * 125 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,338 4.2% ABV? 126 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,374 Well, I guess it is a Saturday. 127 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,475 Oh! 128 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,610 -Aah! -Lewbert. 129 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,111 What the hell are you doing? 130 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,647 Well, Marissa said you'd throw me a bachelor party. 131 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,048 Didn't she tell you? 132 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,683 (sighs) I think she tried to. 133 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,586 What's in the growler? 134 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,321 Oh, a family recipe: 135 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,689 Lewb Juice. 136 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:56,890 It's a delicious libation 137 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,293 and a darn strong foot exfoliant. 138 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,662 Shall I pour? 139 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,565 That's gross and I don't want to do this 140 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,434 and I'm mad at my mom now. 141 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,868 Okay. You know, 142 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,403 Marissa said your unreliable girlfriend 143 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,505 would rub off on you. 144 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,541 Classic Carly. 145 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:17,010 Wait. Fine. I'll give you a party. 146 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,679 Who do you want me to invite? 147 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,013 (grunting) 148 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,651 (phone ringing) 149 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,421 Hello? 150 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,289 Hey, man, you busy? 151 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,158 No, what's up? 152 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,960 Apparently, my mom promised Lewbert 153 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,862 I would throw him a bachelor party tonight. 154 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,564 Oh, hey, hey, can I invite Paul? 155 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:39,066 He seems like somebody I can pretend to like IPAs with. 156 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,369 Yeah, sure, he's an additional human male. 157 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,938 In five, four, three... 158 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:49,276 * This is The Paul Show, and I am Paul * 159 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,243 (phone ringing) 160 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,279 Damn it, when is it my turn? 161 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:57,718 You've got Paul, manager, impresario, size 15 shoe. 162 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,087 Oh, yeah, we're gonna be friends. 163 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,790 Oh, hey, what's up, man? It's Spencer Shay. 164 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:06,460 Uh, yeah, I was just wondering, uh, you into bachelor parties? 165 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,596 Oh, I'm not into bachelor parties. 166 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,164 I'm the king of bachelor parties. 167 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,366 How soon can you be in my apartment? 168 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,135 Oh, an hour. I-I'm upstairs 169 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,305 but I got to go home and get my poppers. 170 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,140 Zut alors. 171 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,877 I didn't realize this would be so physical. 172 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,446 It's not so bad. 173 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:30,017 Normally, people pay $50 to do hungover Pilates. 174 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,086 This is just like that, only with more tetanus. 175 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:37,057 If I get tetanus, can I sit down? 176 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,394 You know what? Let's play a game. 177 00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:49,136 And the name of the game that I'm about to say is... 178 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,339 "Truth or Hammer!" 179 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:56,644 Oh, yes. The famous party game that everyone knows. 180 00:07:56,744 --> 00:08:02,816 Truth or Hammer is a very real game that exists... 181 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:08,488 where we go around and ask each other penetrating questions. 182 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:12,225 And if anyone doesn't want to answer, 183 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,830 then it's hammer time. (laughs) 184 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:20,167 Wow, that actually kind of made sense. 185 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,604 And as Bachelorette Party Tsarina, 186 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:28,375 I brought Mrs. B's favorite libation. Grenadine! 187 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:29,677 (cheering) 188 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:33,746 Shots! Shots! Non-alcoholic shots! 189 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,415 Wow, is this party iconic or what? 190 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:41,989 Danica, have you ever flirted with a man you knew was taken? 191 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,958 Oui oui. But the French never kiss and tell. 192 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,960 You're from Idaho. 193 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,162 I guess it's hammer time. 194 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,798 (cheering) 195 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,203 (cheering) 196 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,140 Okay. Harper! 197 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,813 Who is your best kiss? 198 00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:10,684 Ooh, you want me to choose between 100-- lies-- 300 people? 199 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,552 It's hammer time! 200 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,588 (cheering) 201 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,491 (cheering) 202 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,460 Okay, Carly's turn. 203 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,496 What's the most romantic place you've been with Freddie? 204 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,032 -(growls) -Ooh. 205 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,835 Oh. I know where it's going to be. 206 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,236 (snarls) 207 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,272 Freddie's taking me on a two-day cruise... 208 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:33,506 (growls) 209 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,708 ...to Jamaica... 210 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:35,809 (yells) 211 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,711 ...on the second Sunday in May. 212 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,813 Mother's Day weekend?! 213 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,514 (screaming) 214 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,186 Why wasn't I invited? 215 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,456 Because that would be weird. 216 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,759 Oh, no. Not weird. 217 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,461 No, that's so normal. 218 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,163 Come with, girlfriend. 219 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,131 We can even set up a cot in the cabin. 220 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:02,035 -(growls) -That I will be sleeping on. 221 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,072 Marissa, let's put down the hammer. 222 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,307 You're not storming the Bastille. 223 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,178 I want to go home. 224 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,646 (sobbing) 225 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:17,617 Well, you tried, Carly. Poorly, but you tried. 226 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,120 Ah, stay the course. 227 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,222 This is a part of every bachelorette party: 228 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,325 the bride must cry for no rhyme or reason. 229 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,594 You're doing great, sweetie. 230 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,297 Screw this party. 231 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,966 I just wanted Mrs. B to like me. 232 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,469 Ladies, let's go. 233 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:38,672 Oh, hey, girl. 234 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,173 (screams) 235 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,142 Where do you think you're going? 236 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,111 You're trapped. 237 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,586 -Trapped? -Perhaps I was being a dot dramatic. 238 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,188 You can leave anytime. 239 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,724 Once the house is flipped. 240 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,290 It's all explained here. 241 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:01,829 That waiver? But none of us signed it except Carly. 242 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,798 She signed for your entire group unilaterally. 243 00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:08,135 -Classic Carly. -Classic Carly. 244 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,569 So now I'm what? 245 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,939 Someone who signs waivers on behalf of a group? 246 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,273 Yup. 247 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,275 It's not a waiver. 248 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,744 It's an employment contract. 249 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:21,681 And that HGTV B-I-T-C-H has our phones. 250 00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,717 I say we smash that case. 251 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,785 EMILY: Go ahead. 252 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,754 My fiancé made this lockbox, 253 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,256 and he designed the deathtraps for the movie Saw. 254 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:33,626 Ladies, you're just contracted construction workers 255 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:36,663 until the home is done. Simple pimple. 256 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:39,099 This contract doesn't include a minor's permit. 257 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,501 I'm well-versed in Ohio's child labor laws. 258 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:45,272 Guess that makes you my co-captain. 259 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,706 You up for delineating tasks 260 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,842 while drinking cold sparkling apple cider? 261 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,477 Keep the meaningless title. 262 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,545 I accept the power and the juice. 263 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,147 How long will this take? 264 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:58,118 I left my mouse Julien with a bowl of food and a note. 265 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,187 That mouse is dead. 266 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,324 I had a party flip a house in two days. 267 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,459 Well, a 500-square-foot studio. 268 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:11,231 Never underestimate the power of women in pink jumpsuits. 269 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,200 Don't worry, we've got this. 270 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,235 Because we, including me, 271 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,772 are dependable, decisive, straight-spined gals. 272 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,941 Oh, has anyone been up to the second floor? 273 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,410 ALL: There's a second floor? 274 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:28,782 Oh, I can't believe you went to all this trouble for me. 275 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,019 Well, a boy's best friend is his mother. 276 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,486 By the way, have you heard from her? 277 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,055 Oh, not a peep. 278 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,991 Although, sometimes Marissa pretends to go missing. 279 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,761 It's sort of an elaborate psychosexual prank. You see-- 280 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,531 Now! For the love of God, now! 281 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,033 * * 282 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,869 Lock the doors and lower the blinds! 283 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:53,140 It's bachelor party time! 284 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,608 (whooping) 285 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,980 Oh, it's happening! I'm the bachie! 286 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,850 ALL (chanting): Bachie! Bachie! Bachie! 287 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,152 (chanting continues) 288 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,619 (yelling) 289 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,521 All my friends are here! 290 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,191 Best bachelor party ever! 291 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,426 (cheering) 292 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,428 So... 293 00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,330 what's next? 294 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,966 Next? 295 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,368 This is the thing. 296 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,103 Or... 297 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,239 Lewb Juice? 298 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:30,710 So, it's a drink and a foot exfoliant? 299 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,013 You know, I thought Lewb Juice would taste terrible 300 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:37,250 because the name, like Lewbert, is disgusting. 301 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,853 -Lewbert is disgusting. -Yeah. 302 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,288 You are disgusting. 303 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,457 Does Lewb Juice make you mean? 304 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,959 No, it just makes you honest. 305 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,560 Dissolves the skin off your feet 306 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,629 and the filter off your brain. 307 00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,131 Go ahead, try to lie. 308 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,701 I like Ben Affleck's back tattoo. I think it's hip. 309 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:55,936 (gasps) 310 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,071 That's incredible. 311 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,772 I wish you weren't marrying my mother. 312 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,741 I wish you weren't her son. 313 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,743 Sometimes I wonder how far 314 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,378 I can take this lovable goofball thing. 315 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,813 Will I ever have to grow up? 316 00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,748 If I did, I'd want to be like you. 317 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,118 Please, you're the cool one, Captain Charisma. 318 00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,285 Oh. 319 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,420 (phone chimes) 320 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,622 Oh, my God, no. 321 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,190 Is it that bitch Trina from poison control? 322 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,892 She said I could still drink Lewb Juice 323 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,760 as long as I didn't sell it! 324 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,096 Guys, this is an emergency. We got to go. 325 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,598 -Oh, God! -My feet! 326 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,599 -My feet! -It burns! 327 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,668 I have friends. 328 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,437 (groaning) 329 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:36,209 Carly, you really know how to plan a bachelorette party. 330 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,313 Danica, when you're done with the wall, paint my nails. 331 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,449 (sobbing) 332 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,917 Hey, hey. 333 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,352 At least the hard hats are pink. 334 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,786 (whirring) 335 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,057 Okay, ladies, quick vibe check. 336 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:53,493 The vibe? It's giving "hostage." 337 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:56,663 Then it's time for Stockholm Syndrome because I'm thinking 338 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,266 Scandinavian modern for these floors. 339 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,269 Then we need to go over a long list of other changes. 340 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:06,473 Ugh, changes? Why can't things just stay the same? 341 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:10,243 Same house, same walls, same little boy who kisses me 342 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:15,048 on the cheek before anyone else when saying goodbye! 343 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,385 Oh, this is about Freddie. 344 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,919 Who's Freddie again? 345 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,522 It's Carly's boyfriend and Millicent's dad. 346 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:26,293 He was my son first! 347 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:27,894 (yells) 348 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,964 -Mrs. B, wait! -No, no. 349 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,966 This is a part of it. 350 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,769 Phase one, shots. Phase two, the bride wants to leave. 351 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,005 Phase three, the coolest person 352 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,406 at the party calms everyone down. 353 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,008 That's what's currently happening. 354 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,710 MRS. BENSON: Screw you, ladies! 355 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,545 (cackling) 356 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,648 Mrs. Benson, where are you? 357 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,417 You're kind of freaking us out. 358 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,453 -(staple gun clacking) -I'm in the walls, suckas! 359 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,923 This is not a known phase. 360 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,465 I can't sell this house with a woman in the wall. 361 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,733 That's a $20,000 markdown. 362 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,169 Wait, I thought you were an event planner. 363 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,770 You're also the realtor? 364 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,873 Damn, girl, you got capitalism figured out. 365 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,608 If any of you ever want to leave, 366 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,910 you better get her out of there. 367 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,580 Now it looks like we're talking to something 368 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,115 and not an actual wall. 369 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,917 Mrs. B, I know you can hear me. 370 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,354 MRS. BENSON: I can't hear you, Carly. 371 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,456 We have to get you out of there. 372 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,891 Leave me be. This is my safe space. 373 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,694 Do most safe spaces have asbestos? 374 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,464 -Hey. -We're here! 375 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,835 You came to rescue us? 376 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,171 Yes, we did. 377 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,106 Like four gallant kni-aah! 378 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,274 (screaming) 379 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,876 What in God's name is happening? 380 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,079 We've been drinking Lewb Juice. 381 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:55,115 It's a foot exfoliant, which is why we can't walk. 382 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,517 It's also a truth serum, 383 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,686 which is why I want one of those jumpsuits in an XL 384 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,821 so I can feel like I belong. 385 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,190 Oh! 386 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,492 Where's my mom? 387 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,127 Funny story, actually. 388 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,663 Um, your mother hates me and this weekend so much 389 00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:13,133 that she is... in the walls. 390 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,702 Classic Mommy. 391 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,337 All right, I'll get her out. 392 00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:18,605 (yells) 393 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,108 (sobbing) I can't do this. 394 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:24,477 Well, then I have no choice. 395 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,547 Mrs. Benson, I'm coming for you! 396 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:28,815 You can depend on me! 397 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,152 MRS. BENSON: I can hear you slouching. 398 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,487 Oh, the crawlspace. 399 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,822 Carly, your claustrophobia. 400 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:39,092 Grease up my shoulders, I am going in. 401 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,630 (hyperventilating) 402 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,471 Come to Toledo, get together, flip a house, 403 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,773 have a few laughs... 404 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,844 Bruce Willis, you damn national treasure, 405 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:01,981 how the hell did you make it look so easy? 406 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,117 (moaning) 407 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,219 Aah! 408 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,088 Oh, yippee-ki-yay, Freddie's mother. 409 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,458 Thank God you're okay! 410 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,327 Oh, look. I went into my safe space, 411 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,496 and you ran in and took over. 412 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,531 Classic Carly. 413 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,333 Enough. 414 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,602 We both love Freddie so much. 415 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,604 We should be on the same team. 416 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,240 Freddie and I were a team. 417 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,508 But ever since you showed up, 418 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,210 it's like he put me on the bench. 419 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,245 I hate sports. 420 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,116 I never really looked at it that way. 421 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,117 (loud thumping) 422 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,253 Carly, that's so loud. 423 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:44,457 Marissa! I will get you out of there! 424 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,625 I see a saw. 425 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,628 Could someone saw off my feet?! 426 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,397 How did you guys find us? 427 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,031 I texted Dad. 428 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,367 When Emily wasn't looking, I took a crack at her lockbox. 429 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,337 The code was 1234. 430 00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:59,005 Simple pimple indeed. 431 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,841 Wait, you got to our phones? 432 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,243 I could've called Julien 433 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,378 and told him how to get a bottle of water. 434 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,247 Don't challenge my methods. 435 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:08,248 I'm the hero. 436 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,951 I'm the real hero! 437 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,358 I bet you hate me now more than ever. 438 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:19,926 I don't hate you, Carly. 439 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:24,697 I just hate change, especially when it comes to Freddie. 440 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:27,133 Also, I truly hate your posture. 441 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:32,171 But I can't believe you crawled into the wall for me. 442 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,973 Both because of your claustrophobia 443 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,976 and your obvious character flaws. 444 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:41,248 Of course I did. I love Team Benson. 445 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,317 And I'm always going to be your biggest cheerleader. 446 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:49,456 And maybe someday, I'll be a Benson, too. 447 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,224 -Mm. -Sorry. 448 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,593 Yeah, I-I shouldn't have said that. 449 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,595 Could you just keep that between us? 450 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,930 What happens in the wall stays in the wall. 451 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,633 But if you think he's marrying Little Miss Scoliosis, 452 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,436 you've had a bit too much grenadine. 453 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,772 Yeah, let's get out of here. 454 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,876 I think we've had enough truth. 455 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,079 How about some hammer? 456 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,751 (grunting) 457 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,155 Here's Mommy! 458 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,224 (crashing) 459 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,061 Hey! 460 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:33,232 Your girlfriend faced her worst fears to rescue me. 461 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,234 Classic Carly. 462 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,237 Oh, my favorite girls, get in here. 463 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,606 Carly, Mom, Millicent! 464 00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,341 I'm a'ight. 465 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,009 Well, ladies, 466 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,177 this house looks even worse than when you started. 467 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,079 I'm glad you found a passel of men to help, 468 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,516 because at the pace you're going, 469 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,850 you'll be in Ohio for months 470 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,219 to fulfill the terms of your contract. 471 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,687 I'd like to talk about your little... 472 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,523 employment contract. 473 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:59,792 Oh, snap, it's his lawyer voice. 474 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:03,430 I perused your contract and it fails to address 475 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,766 the fact that Ohio is an at-will employment state. 476 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:08,435 -But they signed-- -Which means... 477 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:12,405 an employee may quit their job at any time for any reason. 478 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,508 Regardless of a contact. 479 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,377 Tell her, Pop Pop. 480 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:21,348 So, unless you'd like to face charges of kidnapping, fraud, 481 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,751 then I suggest you refund these ladies' money 482 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,686 and never speak of this again. 483 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,755 (yelps) 484 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,492 (cheering) 485 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,427 Yeah! 486 00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:36,996 The bride cried, we took shots-- 487 00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,799 I came to rescue you and you rescued my mom. 488 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,468 Bruce Willis could never. 489 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:42,635 Mm. 490 00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:45,137 Ooh, and someone made out. 491 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,975 With their boyfriend. Still counts. We did it, Joe. 492 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:50,543 Ooh! 493 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,445 * * 494 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:54,814 -* Y'all ready for this * -Oh, my God! 495 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,549 (screaming) 496 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,552 * * 497 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:07,994 * This is The Paul Show and I am Paul * 498 00:22:08,094 --> 00:22:09,529 Welcome back to Paul or Nothing. 499 00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,565 Today, respected doorman- turned-lawyer Lewbert Sline 500 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,167 is gonna show us how to make his famous Lewb Juice. 501 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:19,406 Step one. Warm cough syrup, 502 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:24,043 boiled in the mouth of an active volcano. 503 00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:29,516 Step two. Some nice, expired nut milk. 504 00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:32,552 And I don't mean almonds. 505 00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,987 That's my man. 506 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:38,257 You're welcome, Internet. 507 00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,832 * * 508 00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,722 Ooh! 509 00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:11,824 * *