1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,308 Coconut flakes, tuna pouch, 2 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:08,742 raisins... 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,113 Uh-uh, you are not taking tuna on our road trip. 4 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,515 I'd let you bring a tuna pouch if I was going. 5 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,616 But you're not. 6 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,419 It's just me, Harper and Brooke. 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,089 We're gonna have girls' weekend. 8 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,657 Normally I would remind you that we are women, not girls, 9 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,593 but I plan on drinking a pink margarita 10 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,728 in a tiara, so you're good. 11 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,197 What kind of pink we talking about? 12 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:31,499 Strawberry? Hibiscus? Pink peppercorn? 13 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,001 What? I've been on tons of girls' trips. 14 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,204 They're way better than guys' trips. 15 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,139 They're organized, they're indoors, 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,941 and nobody teases you if you want to drink some rosé. 17 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,912 [BOTH]: Rosé! 18 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,314 I can't wait. 19 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,717 I'm finally gonna go on my first girls' trip. 20 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,385 I was living in Italy, and apparently women there 21 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,154 don't go on girls' trips. 22 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,188 'Cause they're in Italy. 23 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,623 When I got back, 24 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,091 I just never found my group of girls. 25 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,026 It was like all the groups were already taken. 26 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:03,164 Well, we're putting together a new group, okay? 27 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,065 The cool, fashionable one. 28 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,734 The smart, sexy one. 29 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,536 The beautiful, spontaneous one. 30 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,971 And you and Brooke. 31 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,306 Do I know Brooke? 32 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,007 Oh, no. We were roommates in college. 33 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:17,178 She is amazing. Yes. 34 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,079 But let's hurry so we can beat that bitch there 35 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,349 before she takes the good bed. 36 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,617 Actually, big surprise. 37 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,353 Since they found out I'm iCarly, 38 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,355 they upgraded us to the party suite. 39 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:29,290 -Ooh! -All I have to do is post 40 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:30,991 a video of us having a fun time. 41 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,495 Which is perfect because I make videos and you're fun. 42 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,264 Uh-huh. Yeah. 43 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:38,666 Mini birdhouse delivery. 44 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,135 Oh, good, we really needed a seventh. 45 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,537 I know I've been making a lot, but this one's got 46 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,105 gold leaf wallpaper on the inside. 47 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:48,108 I say this as someone who needs a girlfriend. 48 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,910 You need a girlfriend. 49 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,346 Ah, I really do. 50 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,914 I'm sick of just dating fun women 51 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:56,116 who love sports and brew their own beer 52 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,351 and don't want to commit. 53 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,320 I want something more than that. 54 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,223 I'd be good with... that. 55 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,858 Oh! Inspiration has struck. 56 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:09,397 Birdhouses for people. Yeah! 57 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:14,768 Ugh, Spencer's life makes me so sad. 58 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,104 I'm over it. Girls' trip! 59 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,606 Yay, you guys! 60 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,475 Aw, Freddie, you know what could be fun for you? 61 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,910 Get the bags. 62 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,414 Nothing is gonna stop us from having fun. 63 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,418 -Oh, my God. -Hi, Harp. 64 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,853 Maeve? [shrieks] 65 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,322 Oh, my God! 66 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:37,625 Maeve? Your cousin who disappeared four years ago? 67 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,793 [laughing] Oh, my God. 68 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,331 No, probably a different one. 69 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,665 * I know * 70 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,133 * You see * 71 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,669 * Somehow the world will change for me * 72 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,739 * And be so wonderful * 73 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,509 * So wake up the members of my nation * 74 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,711 * It's your time to be * 75 00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,748 * There's no chance unless you take one * 76 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,451 * And the time to see the brighter side * 77 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,720 * Of every situation * 78 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,656 * Some things are meant to be * 79 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,092 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 80 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,929 So, after four years at sea, 81 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,632 my kidnappers finally decided to let me go. 82 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:22,336 Wait, so were they kidnappers or pirates? 83 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,505 -I'm super into pirates. -Freddie's super into pirates. 84 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:28,075 I just love the word "swashbuckle." 85 00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,877 You'd love it a lot less 86 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:33,247 if you were the one being swashed and buckled. 87 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,249 Oh, poor Maeve. 88 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,917 Well, the good news is I'm not mad at you 89 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,052 for ghosting me anymore. [chuckles] 90 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,054 You should probably not read my emails. 91 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,657 None of that matters. The important thing is 92 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,360 is that I'm here now, and I'm never traveling 93 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,329 anywhere ever again. 94 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,931 I just want to sit here with my favorite person. 95 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,535 Well, hey, why don't you come with us on our girls' trip? 96 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,705 We can sit in the car, and we can sit in the party suite. 97 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,139 We can sit a bunch of places. 98 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,943 The thought of taking even a single step... 99 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,280 makes my throat close from stress. 100 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:09,583 I mean, this sea water usually calms me down. 101 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,985 It's not working now, though. 102 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,555 Harper, you and Maeve should just stay here. 103 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,124 Don't worry about me. Brooke's gonna be there. 104 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,093 [phones chime] 105 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,194 And Brooke can't go. 106 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,464 Oh, no. Her car was stolen?! 107 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,099 Poor Brooke. 108 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,568 Look, I'll be okay. 109 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,503 I have all sorts of fun ideas. 110 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,104 I heard they have a Tupperware museum, 111 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,641 and I just got a book about candles. 112 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,343 Girl trip! 113 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,544 Ooh... 114 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,212 Freddie, be packed in five minutes. 115 00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,783 This isn't gonna be awkward 116 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,386 -with us sharing a room, is it? -Why would it be? 117 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,721 * * 118 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,259 This isn't the party suite. 119 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,963 No, it is. "Party of two. 120 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:59,600 An intimate experience for lovers in love." 121 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,735 Wow, comes with a couples massage 122 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,204 with five flavors of lotion. 123 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,277 I'll, uh, call the front desk and have them 124 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,112 switch our room to something with a little less 125 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,682 pheromones. 126 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,283 [line ringing] 127 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,819 A chocolate drawer? 128 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,821 Freddie, you put that phone down right now. 129 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,760 [both laughing] 130 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,328 Okay, cousin catch-up time. 131 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,663 -Just me and you. -Yes. Yes. 132 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,165 Ooh, I'm thirstier than a Kardashian 133 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,434 at All-Star Weekend. 134 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,735 You need anything to drink? 135 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,871 Oh, do you have Sardinian peach nectar? 136 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,707 A glass of water's fine. 137 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,712 Harper, what are you doing here? 138 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,380 What are you doing here? 139 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,715 I have a key. 140 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,417 Spencer is supposed to be babysitting me, 141 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,052 but I use this place for me time when you and Carly aren't here. 142 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,286 We know this. 143 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,288 No, we don't know this. 144 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:57,758 Who are you? 145 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,360 Oh, hi, I'm Maeve. I'm Harper's cousin. 146 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,597 The Harper's cousin? You resurfaced? 147 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,065 I have. 148 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,635 And I'm so happy to be back with Harper again. 149 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:11,304 -Is this tap? -You'll be fine. 150 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,908 And I'm so happy, too. 151 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,478 Almost as happy as when we had Christmas in August. 152 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,213 Yes. And my dad shipped in all that real snow 153 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,782 from Switzerland because he said it had a... 154 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,050 [BOTH]: ...better crunch. 155 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,786 -[laughs] -Aw, that's sweet. 156 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,555 My dad got me a fish named Donut. 157 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:30,824 It was on sale because it doesn't swim very fast. 158 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,228 Maeve, I've missed you so much. 159 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,329 I know. 160 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,631 And now that you're back, 161 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,800 I'll never let anyone take you away. 162 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,970 Millicent, what is taking you so long? 163 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,404 You're just supposed to steal the cookies 164 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,839 and come right back. 165 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,542 Well, hello. 166 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,311 -I'm Spencer. -I'm Maeve. 167 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,581 I'm Harper's cousin that was kidnapped 168 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:54,948 and taken to sea. 169 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,116 -Oh. -So nice to meet you. 170 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,318 -Oh, gee! Oh, my dear. -Ooh. 171 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,890 I, uh, I guess I haven't gotten my land legs yet. 172 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,793 Well, lucky for me I got to catch you. 173 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:09,196 -Yeah, thank you. -You've had such an ordeal. 174 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,499 Yeah, I try to look on the bright side. 175 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:15,669 I saw a lot of the world when I wasn't blindfolded. 176 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,772 Wow, your attitude is so refreshing. 177 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,142 You know what else is refreshing? 178 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,179 [shudders] 179 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,717 Is that from the Adriatic? 180 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,519 Yes. Excellent nose. 181 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,521 [both laugh] 182 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:36,056 Yeah, okay. This was fun. 183 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,758 But we haven't seen each other in a really long time, 184 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,494 and I skipped the girls' trip so we could catch up, so... 185 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,629 [laughs] Bye. 186 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,463 You can still go on the trip. 187 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:44,698 I'll entertain Maeve for you. 188 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,466 Uh, no, you're not gonna do that 189 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,769 because she's here to be with me, so... 190 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,138 Harper, did you make this? 191 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,073 No, I didn't make that tacky thing. 192 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,509 And it's way too small to fit an actual bird. 193 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,511 Well, that's what I love about it. 194 00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,480 Actually, um... [chuckles] 195 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,849 I made it. 196 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,051 -Really? -Yeah. 197 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,453 Those hands are pure genius. 198 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,756 And the gold leaf wallpaper reminds me 199 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:10,724 of the Melk Abbey in Austria. 200 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,325 Well, you know what they say. 201 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,662 If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it. 202 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:15,896 -No, you didn't. -I did. 203 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:19,232 I think your cousin ba-roke Spencer. 204 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,703 Mm. Mm, mm, mm. 205 00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:24,772 Look at us. 206 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,140 Girls'-trippin', champagne sippin' 207 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,309 and chocolate drawer dippin'. 208 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,410 Oh. 209 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:34,114 And I brought something for you. 210 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,918 -Aw, Freddie. Thanks. -Mm-hmm. 211 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,722 "My Way or the Rosé." 212 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,424 Aw, I'm never gonna wear this. 213 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,359 I gotta hand it to you, though. 214 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,096 This girls' trip is off to a great start. 215 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,699 Shall we look at my itinerary? 216 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,101 "Gossip on the drive here." Check. 217 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,536 "Freak out over how great the room is." Check. 218 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:59,272 "Look in all the drawers for weird stuff people left behind." 219 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,473 Checking! 220 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,579 I wonder what this does. 221 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:06,580 [sexy music playing] 222 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,981 * Ooh, honey * 223 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,217 * Come here to me * 224 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,819 * Let's take a walk amongst the blossoming... * 225 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,687 I-I like this song. 226 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,056 Mm, I like it, too. 227 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,158 It's great for lots of occasions. 228 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,027 * Go to cooking class * 229 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:24,431 * I want to have s-s-s-sex * 230 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,467 * With you, baby * 231 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,769 * Mm... * 232 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,037 Is this weird? 233 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,305 [scoffs] Not at all. 234 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,110 You know what? Who says you can't share 235 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,546 a honeymoon suite with your platonic best friend 236 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,783 with whom you have a complicated romantic history? 237 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,185 No one says that. 238 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,987 You know what? You take the bed. 239 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,090 It's so fancy it'll ruin me for all future beds. 240 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,661 Oh, my God. 241 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,428 This bed is so comfortable. 242 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,230 Freddie, you gotta come try this. 243 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,465 At least for a few minutes before you mess up your back 244 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,901 -sleeping on that couch. -All right. 245 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,602 * * 246 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,071 Oh, yeah. 247 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,374 [loudly] Oh, yeah! 248 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,643 -This feels so good. -Ooh. 249 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:13,246 You know what, I'm doing it. I'm going in. 250 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,281 Come on. 251 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,283 * I want to have... * 252 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,186 -Oh! -That is incredible. 253 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,155 [FREDDIE]: Oh, so good. 254 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,858 Fun Brooke is here. 255 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,593 Let's get this party star-- 256 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:31,832 Oh. Looks like the party already started. Rrr! 257 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,235 -No, no. I mean, we're not. -No. 258 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,938 I-I mean, we were. Not like were were. 259 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,841 Then we weren't. Let me just turn this off. 260 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,042 [button clicks] 261 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,278 * With you, baby * 262 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,948 * I want to have * 263 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,449 * S-s-s-sex. * 264 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:55,689 I see you already got your cocktail. 265 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,057 Yeah, I found it on a tray in the hall. 266 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,592 I guess they just leave them out for people. 267 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,129 I'm just so happy that you made it. 268 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,597 Yay. Me, too. [chuckles] 269 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,333 Did they find your car? 270 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,401 No, I did. So it turns out 271 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,903 it wasn't actually stolen. 272 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,972 I just forgot where I parked it. 273 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,306 [chuckles] 274 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,176 I am a total hot mess. Isn't that cute, though? 275 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,610 Adorable. 276 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,313 Are you sure I'm not interrupting something? 277 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,015 -No. -No, not at all. 278 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,417 -You're exactly what we needed. -Yeah, the more the merrier. 279 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,620 Yay. Girls' trip, plus a cute guy. 280 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,891 -And now a cute girl. -Uh, hello? 281 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,392 [gasps] 282 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,895 Sorry, I'm a hugger. 283 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,830 We're gonna have a really good time. 284 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,398 Okay... oh! 285 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,599 And me. 286 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,168 I'm here, too. 287 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,338 Maeve, you're the most thoughtful person. 288 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,140 You let me cook for you, serve you, 289 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,442 you even let me rub your feet. 290 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,111 Well, if you play your cards right, 291 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,512 I'll let you feed me dessert. 292 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,947 -Oh... -[laughs] 293 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,384 I got Chinese, DVDs 294 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,819 and a stuffed Maltese. 295 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,154 You know, in case you need a comfort object. 296 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,923 Y'all ate already? 297 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:06,493 Oh, yeah, I told Spencer how much I was missing the ocean, 298 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,496 and he surprised me with my favorite dinner. 299 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,499 An Alaskan crab leg buffet. 300 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,836 You should've seen how adorable she was cracking those legs. 301 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,138 Yeah, cute. 302 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,207 But I thought Chinese was your favorite food. 303 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,741 Since when do you like crab? 304 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,543 Since I spent four years at sea. 305 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,079 Plus my kidnappers were very anti-gluten, 306 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,782 so I kind of don't do Chinese anymore. 307 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,150 Well, that makes sense. 308 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,719 But you still like action movies, right? 309 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,022 'Cause I got Takens one through three. 310 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,190 Ooh, I shouldn't have gotten Takens one through three. 311 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,759 Yeah, I've had enough action/adventure 312 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,728 in my real life, you know, 313 00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,031 so these days, I'm more into... 314 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,198 -Romance? -Yes. 315 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,900 [SPENCER]: It's funny 316 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,836 you should mention romance movies and the sea, 317 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,703 because I have another surprise for you. 318 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,275 Spencer, this is amazing! 319 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,710 Well, there is one more thing, but I don't know, 320 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,179 maybe it's over-the-top. 321 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,514 Well, we wouldn't want that. 322 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,817 May I sketch you? 323 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:07,220 Are we about to live out my Titanic fantasy? 324 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,757 Y'all know how that movie ends, right? 325 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,194 Okay. 326 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,196 Oh, should we make a toast? 327 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,430 Yes. 328 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,332 To Brooke, for getting her car back 329 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,868 so she can be here. 330 00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,035 Aw. 331 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,236 And to Freddie, 332 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,839 for making such a sweet toast. 333 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,908 -And to me, for... -[knocking] 334 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,844 ...getting the door. [chuckles] 335 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,481 Couples massage. 336 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,150 Oh, this is a little awkward, but... 337 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,651 there are three of us. 338 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,120 I can't believe I'm saying this, 339 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,588 but maybe we should pass. 340 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,690 Actually, I have a lot of tension 341 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,859 from my car almost being stolen. 342 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,760 I could really use a massage. 343 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,997 I'll get undressed. 344 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,132 Yeah, me, too! 345 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,110 Oh, hey, there's a carnival in town this weekend. 346 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,644 Should we go? 347 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,180 [BOTH]: [moaning] Oh, yeah! 348 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,717 Wait, what are you saying yeah to? 349 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,452 The carnival or the massage? 350 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,888 [BOTH]: [moaning] Oh, yeah! 351 00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,324 -Oh... yeah. -Oh... 352 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,792 Yeah, that clears it up. 353 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,796 Oh, my God, did I eat all these? 354 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,100 Damn, this is well-crafted. 355 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,671 Give me your key. 356 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,774 Fine. I have three other points of entry. 357 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,676 What happened to your cousin? 358 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,211 She get kidnapped again? 359 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,779 Yeah, by Spencer. 360 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,148 Wait, what are you doing? 361 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,250 You want to watch movies with bad words? 362 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,018 I can't. I'm only here 363 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,687 because I left my checkbook. It's probably in my desk. 364 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:48,922 That's not your desk! 365 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,159 Then why is my checkbook in it? 366 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,162 Olive and I are about to go protest the froyo shop. 367 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,630 They stopped carrying rainbow sprinkles, 368 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,533 and we're not gonna take this lying down. 369 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,971 -Now you're third-wheeling me, too? -Oh! 370 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,673 You're not a third wheel-- you were never invited at all. 371 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,008 Bye-ee! 372 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,843 -[door closes] -I'm never having kids. 373 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,381 [laughs] Ah! 374 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,250 I'm so glad we ventured out-- that carnival was a blast. 375 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,786 It was... something. 376 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,355 I was just in awe 377 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:25,358 of how you were able to win this unicorn for me. 378 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:26,826 What can I say? 379 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,462 I'm incredibly good at ring toss. 380 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,231 So, uh... 381 00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,501 do you have any thoughts on what you'd like to do tonight? 382 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,536 I do have a few ideas. 383 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,871 -Huh. -I do, too! Actually... 384 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,974 I was hoping to check out the tiki bar in the lobby. 385 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,876 I need some alcohol to absorb all that chocolate. 386 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,646 Great idea, Carly. 387 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,348 Here, take this wad of cash. 388 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,517 Have so much fun, okay? 389 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,485 Let us know how it is. Bye! 390 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,886 [mouthing] 391 00:15:58,891 --> 00:15:59,892 Thank you, Snoqualmie Suites 392 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,428 for hooking us up this weekend! 393 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,530 My friends and I are having so much fun 394 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,000 all together in the same place right now. 395 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,802 What now? Okay, yeah, I'm coming. 396 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:13,606 I guess it's my turn to dance on the bar. 397 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,508 Got to go. 398 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,047 Another Lonely Lady? 399 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,882 I mean, I'm alone, 400 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,651 but I'm not "lonely." 401 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,087 I mean, sure, I got ditched on my girls' trip 402 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,588 because I brought my best guy friend 403 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,091 -and apparently he brought his A-game, but-- -No. 404 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,459 That's the name of your drink. 405 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,894 Do you want another Lonely Lady? 406 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,163 Oh. 407 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,165 Yes, please. 408 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,601 [chuckles] 409 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,103 [phone ringing] 410 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,537 Hey, Harper. 411 00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,207 -How's it going? Bad. -How's it going? Bad. 412 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,076 You first, so I can top you 413 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,677 with how amazingly awful my thing is. 414 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,545 [over phone]: Okay, try this. 415 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,947 Freddie and Brooke are getting couples' massages, 416 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,285 winning unicorns and hooking up in the honeymoon suite 417 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,420 while I'm drinking a drink for losers. 418 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,223 That drink looks good though. I'm gonna make one. 419 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,491 What's in it? 420 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,627 Aperol, vermouth, and amaro. 421 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,930 -Do we have those? -We have warm white wine and vodka. 422 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,665 Close enough. 423 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,067 Ooh! 424 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,603 Virtual girls' trip! 425 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,772 -Cheers. -Cheers! 426 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,908 Okay, out-depress me. 427 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,110 If you think you can. 428 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,677 Maeve ditched me for Spencer. 429 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,347 Maeve ditched me for sexual purposes 430 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,282 with Spencer. 431 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,284 I wish there were any way 432 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,420 I could be misinterpreting this. 433 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,588 Should I just come home? 434 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,857 No, it's your girls' trip! 435 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,926 Go up there! Freddie needs to learn 436 00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,894 that it's besties before testes! 437 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,264 Yeah. You know what? 438 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,765 You do that, too. 439 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,801 Tell Maeve it's cousins before "huggins." 440 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,937 Not as good, but yeah! 441 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,941 [groans] 442 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,878 Okay, that's it. 443 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,248 I'm sick of you two having all the fun without me. 444 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,350 Can I uncover my eyes? 445 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,951 [FREDDIE]: It's getting pretty intimate. 446 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,119 We're playing MASH. 447 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,255 I hope I get mansion. 448 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,089 I love that game. 449 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,524 Please, will you do me, too? 450 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,193 I'll do both of you. 451 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,861 -Be right back. -Great. 452 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,364 [exhales] 453 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,233 What are you doing here? 454 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,601 I was trying to get some alone time. 455 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,170 Oh, you want some alone time? 456 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,272 Try going on a trip with you. 457 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,974 You're right, I'm sorry. 458 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,676 I ditched you. It's just... 459 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,145 ever since I got divorced, the second time, 460 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,281 also the first time, but mostly the second time, 461 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:38,117 I just felt like I'm never gonna meet someone who's right for me. 462 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,852 You feel that way about Brooke? 463 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,354 I don't know, maybe. 464 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,456 It's fun making out with her. 465 00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:45,892 Fair enough. 466 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:49,028 I just wish I got to make out with someone, too. 467 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,630 Ding dong. 468 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,233 I might be able to help you with that. 469 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,403 You know, it took me a minute, but I think I finally get 470 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,438 what you two have been trying to tell me. 471 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,373 The honeymoon suite, 472 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,443 the massage, Harper conveniently 473 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,945 not being able to come at the last minute. 474 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,347 Not to mention 475 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,549 the obvious sexual tension 476 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,284 between me and Carly. 477 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:14,053 The which what? 478 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,257 You want Hot Mess Brooke 479 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,660 for a hot messy threesome. 480 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,762 -Oh, I don't think... -Let's hear the woman out. 481 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,998 Okay, I say we just jump right in. 482 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,701 You know, because rules and boundaries, 483 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,170 they make everything so blah. 484 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,572 Brooke, we... 485 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,741 we're not trying to have a threesome with you. 486 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,643 Oh, God. 487 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,712 Why does this keep happening to me? 488 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,949 First at that funeral and then at the DMV. 489 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,452 I'm just gonna grab another drink 490 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,721 from the hallway and go home. 491 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:54,026 Do either of you know where I parked my car? 492 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,695 No? 493 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,164 Okay, I'll just walk around 494 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,400 and listen for the "boop, boop." 495 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,002 Bye. 496 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,004 [both laugh] 497 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,740 -Our girls' trip was a bust, huh? -Yeah. 498 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,976 I got ditched, drank alone, 499 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:12,178 ruined your hook-up, started an argument 500 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,180 and then Brooke went home early. 501 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,417 Yep. Sounds like every girls' trip I've ever been on. 502 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,319 Oh. Yay, I did it. 503 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,853 Ha, ha! 504 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,423 Ah, I wonder why she thought we'd be into a threesome? 505 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,091 Yeah, it was so out of the blue. 506 00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,693 Right? 507 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,128 [sighs] 508 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,564 -Should I get a separate room? -Yeah, definitely. 509 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,205 [moans] 510 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,875 And that's why you don't mix white wine with vodka. 511 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,112 Did I learn nothing in college? 512 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:48,214 Ahoy. 513 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,482 Dim sum? 514 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,617 What about the gluten? 515 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,952 Sundays were always cheat days. 516 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,221 I really missed you. 517 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,789 I missed you more. 518 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,459 And, look, you know, I'm happy that you and Spencer 519 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,127 -are getting along so... -Mm-mm, mm-mm. 520 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,796 You're the person I missed the most while I was gone, 521 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,798 and you're the person I'm most excited 522 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,867 to spend time with now that I'm back. 523 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,303 Aw, you're my number one girl. 524 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,004 Yeah. 525 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,443 Oh, and there's my other number one girl. 526 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:17,777 Don't make fun of my shirt. 527 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,212 I got chocolate on all my other ones. 528 00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,449 Oh, look at us all together. 529 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:24,517 I'm finally here with my "best friend 530 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,319 unless my cousin ever resurfaces" 531 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,455 and my cousin who resurfaced! 532 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,222 You two are gonna love each other. 533 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,258 But just as friends, right? 534 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,827 Oh, did Brooke try a threesome? 535 00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,029 [HARPER]: I heard she's good. 536 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,798 You should've done it. 537 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:41,401 We're here for the girls' brunch! 538 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,802 What is with you men? 539 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,504 Can we have anything to ourselves? 540 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:45,738 Freddie said he was coming. 541 00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,273 Oh, he earned his spot. 542 00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,875 King of the girls' trip! 543 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,479 Hey, Harper, can I borrow your phone? 544 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:53,746 Sure. Why? 545 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,648 I'm not a dim sum person. 546 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,484 I'm ordering a pizza. 547 00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:59,018 This is fun. 548 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,787 You know, we should make this a regular thing. 549 00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,690 Which is going to be a lot easier 550 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:06,759 because... I'm dropping anchor in Seattle. 551 00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:07,894 -Really? -That's great. 552 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,261 -You can stay with us. -Mm-hmm. 553 00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:10,530 I'll make you a key. 554 00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:11,831 Thank you. 555 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:13,232 Uh, actually, she's gonna stay with me. 556 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,501 Now what now? 557 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:15,902 Oh, just while I look for a place. 558 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:18,605 Or... who knows? 559 00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,674 * * 560 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:24,944 [CARLY]: Wow. 561 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,046 I missed a lot on that girls' trip. 562 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,448 So did I. 563 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:31,317 And I was here the whole time. 564 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:33,352 Stop! 565 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:38,290 * Ooh, honey * 566 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:40,026 * Come here to me * 567 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:44,564 * Let's take a walk amongst the blossoming cherry tress * 568 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,065 * Ooh, sugar * 569 00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:48,200 * I could talk for hours * 570 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,269 * Go to a cooking class * 571 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,939 * Take in your mental prowess * 572 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,141 * S-s-s-sex * 573 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:58,411 * With you, baby * 574 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,346 * Mm. * 575 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:04,183 Ooh.