1 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:05,273 * * 2 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,746 CARLY: Ow. 3 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,849 Are you still feeling sorry for yourself? 4 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,252 You gotta shake this off. 5 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,722 I can't. I am totally blocked for new sketch ideas. 6 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:25,693 And look at these comments. 7 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,728 "Remember when iCarly was funny?" 8 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:32,800 It's like, words hurt, MilkMilkLemonade69. 9 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,568 I'm sorry, Carly. 10 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,304 You're just in a little rut. 11 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,072 You'll shake it off soon. 12 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,374 Maybe by taking a shower. 13 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,943 I know. I should be more like you. 14 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,578 Most people should. 15 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,614 It's like you didn't even notice 16 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:47,948 Dutch was on that "Worst Dressed" list. 17 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,683 Dutch was on what? 18 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:57,225 No! I styled this outfit! 19 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,660 Aw, I lost my mojo. 20 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,695 I'm a total failure, and everything sucks, 21 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,231 and nothing will ever get better, 22 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,599 and your thing won't get better either! 23 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,476 Lotta snacks in here. Got any wine? 24 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,378 Red or white? 25 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,550 * I know * 26 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,185 * You see * 27 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,554 * Somehow the world will change for me * 28 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:29,623 * And be so wonderful * 29 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,394 * So wake up the members of my nation * 30 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,429 * It's your time to be * 31 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,432 * There's no chance unless you take one * 32 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,335 * And the time to see the brighter side * 33 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,638 * Of every situation * 34 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,407 * Some things are meant to be * 35 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,977 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 36 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,881 * * 37 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,186 Carly! Hey, are you okay? 38 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,620 Yeah, why? 39 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,489 You texted me, "Come to the studio. 911." 40 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,391 You weren't responding, so your mom said 41 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,025 throw 911 on a vague text. 42 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,462 (scoffs) She abuses it. She texts 911 every time 43 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,663 Kelly Ripa's on TV. 44 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:12,300 She loves her arms. 45 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,801 I'm sorry I've been MIA. 46 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,104 With the Kevin app, Pearl, Millicent, Kelly Ripa... 47 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,539 I just don't have very much time for iCarly. 48 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,973 Or "IRL Carly." 49 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,043 Which is why I've come up with something brilliant 50 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,678 to get us out of our rut. 51 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,647 I asked our fans to send in ideas for what they want to 52 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,249 - see me do on iCarly. - Oh. 53 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,050 Whoa, so many! 54 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,652 All right, cool, well... Let's delete 55 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,621 all the ones from Mandy Valdez... 56 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:37,157 and any with the word "feet" in the file name... 57 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,760 And that leaves us with two. 58 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,930 Fredward, it's your mother. 59 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,233 I'm dying. 60 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,069 Joy Behar is in for Kelly Ripa today. 61 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,205 Huh? 62 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,707 Carly, ciao. 63 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,844 Or, as they say in Seattle, where I live now, hello. 64 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,280 Oh, my God. It's Paul. 65 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,883 That's Paul? Your producer from Italian QVC? 66 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,785 Yeah. I haven't seen him in forever. 67 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,120 He's the best producer that I've ever worked with. 68 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,990 In Europe. 69 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,125 I made the jump from producer to manager, 70 00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,994 and I would love to represent you. 71 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,797 Huh. You know, I never really thought about getting a manager, 72 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,032 but this could be exactly what we need right now. 73 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,769 (scoffs) We've been making iCarly for 15 years. 74 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,136 What do we need this guy for? 75 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,738 Now, you're probably wondering, 76 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,507 "What do we need this guy for?" 77 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,109 Oh. That was cool. 78 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,878 Come on, that was cool. 79 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,713 So I'm guessing you didn't receive 80 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,248 many useful submissions. 81 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:35,983 Nowadays, people want to drive traffic 82 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,452 to their own platforms, not boost yours. 83 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:42,490 They are, as we used to say in Italy, narcisista. 84 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,725 (laughs, snorts) 85 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,562 I have so many ideas to take your show 86 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:49,663 to the next level. 87 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,332 Nope. We do not need 88 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,600 some rando coming in here, 89 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,101 and telling us what to do. 90 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,270 No. Paul is no rando. 91 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,272 Look, he's got big clients. 92 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,073 The Tiny Psychic. 93 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,075 Mayor Pete. 94 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,111 Oh, not the guy who ran for president, 95 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,680 a beagle named Pete who's in charge of the town. 96 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,149 (cell phone beeps) 97 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,519 Ah, shoot. There's a crisis with the Kevin app. 98 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,754 A therapy fox got into a therapy henhouse, 99 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,222 and you can imagine how that went. 100 00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:17,224 Uh, we can talk about this another time, okay? 101 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,363 Aw, look at Mayor Pete breaking ground 102 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,731 on a new library. 103 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,167 Oh. No, he's just hiding a bone. 104 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,003 * * 105 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,139 If you had asked me six months ago 106 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,907 to design the uniforms for your restaurant, 107 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,477 I would've open-hand slapped you in the face. 108 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,679 Ooh, with rings on? 109 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,248 Why am I excited? I need to unpack that. 110 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,851 But now, since I'm a complete failure, 111 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,320 I figured a low-stakes job might help me 112 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,721 get my mojo back. 113 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,122 - You ready? - Shh! 114 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,559 You're not. Jack, get out here! 115 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,562 And show Spencer his new server uniforms. 116 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,435 You hate it. 117 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,736 Hate is a strong word. 118 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,272 - That describes how you feel? - Yes. 119 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,575 Can you even move your arms? 120 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,609 Oh, I can't move anything. 121 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,110 But can you take a picture? 122 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,745 I feel like Rihanna. 123 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,347 Harper, this is a disaster! 124 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,449 Shay What is getting reviewed by a restaurant critic 125 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,519 for the first time tonight and, unlike Rihanna, 126 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,088 our servers cannot serve. 127 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,124 Jack, you can go. 128 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,258 Actually, I can't. 129 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,595 Both my legs are asleep. 130 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,164 You have to let me fix this. 131 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,033 There's no time. Look, I'll just stick 132 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,735 with the old uniforms. It's no big deal. 133 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:38,372 Yes, big deal! I'm nothing sans mojo. 134 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:43,310 Your mojo is still required, but your assignment has changed. 135 00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:46,079 Come sit at the bar later, and talk about how delicious 136 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,148 everything is, loud enough for the critic to hear. 137 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:52,152 I have always fancied myself an actress. 138 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,222 Mm. 139 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,890 Delicious. 140 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,994 My God. Meryl could never. 141 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:05,232 * * 142 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,968 Freddie! 143 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,237 Freddie? 144 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,174 Carly? What are you doing here? 145 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:17,277 Well, you're dressed like a chicken, so... 146 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,779 What the cluck? 147 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,949 The fox has been loose for hours, 148 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,351 and Freddie can't catch him, so I suggested he try 149 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,286 and trick it into thinking he was a chicken. 150 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,722 Obviously, I said no, but then Pearl bit her lip 151 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,191 in this really cute way, like... 152 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,662 It's cute when she does it. 153 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,863 Why are you here? 154 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,731 I wanted to talk more about Paul. 155 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,633 - Ugh. - You've just been so busy, 156 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,134 and I think it might really be helpful 157 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,335 to have someone else on the team. 158 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,704 Honestly, I'd rather not. 159 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,106 - I'm sorry. - Oh. 160 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,340 Shoot. 161 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:48,542 I really thought you were gonna say yes, 162 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,377 so I'm sorry, too. 163 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,780 Hey, anybody looking for a fox? 164 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,147 This guy just loves me. 165 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,284 That was amazing. 166 00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:02,189 Freddie, the fox must've seen your chicken costume. 167 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,860 Come on. 168 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,330 Go home, friend. 169 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,772 Paul, this is Freddie. 170 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,174 He's usually not in a chicken costume. 171 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,544 Yeah, I was gonna say, "What the cluck?" 172 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,746 - I just made that joke. - 'Cause it's really good. 173 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,247 - Yeah! - (both laugh) 174 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,382 Funny how I didn't laugh either time. 175 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:33,320 Freddie, I-I came down here to ask you a question. Um... 176 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:36,323 Did you want iCarly to be the most successful 177 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,958 web series in history? 178 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,360 Or did you want it to just be like a massive failure? 179 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,795 I mean, probably 180 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,497 the most successful web series in history. 181 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:46,500 Duh. You don't have to answer a question like that, Freddie. 182 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,670 (inhales deeply) It begins. 183 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,938 What begins? 184 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,940 This is a partnership. 185 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,374 Get ready for greatness, guys, 186 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,343 'cause I've been brainstorming and I've got 187 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,646 some really, really great ideas. 188 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,715 Freddie, do you want me to share those great ideas 189 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,751 or just keep them to myself? 190 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,486 Well, answer the man. 191 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,822 - Share? - It begins. 192 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,223 I thought it already began. 193 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,224 Oh, it's begun. 194 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,561 First, focus on merchandising. 195 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,530 Create content that features things you can sell, 196 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,598 like an iCarly doll. 197 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,299 Ooh! Can my doll wear glasses? 198 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,401 I've always wanted to see what I'd look like with glasses on. 199 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,904 She can be as visually impaired as you want. 200 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,207 Next great idea, live tour. 201 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,643 Podcasters make bank on the road, why not you, Carly? 202 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,179 Oh, no. Freddie won't go on tour. 203 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,649 He watched a Dateline about hotel sheets, so... 204 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,551 Cool. 205 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,520 Now, my last idea... it's actually not great. 206 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,789 It's amazing. 207 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,492 Would you guys mind if I just shake things up a little bit, 208 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,460 and throw out an amazing idea? 209 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,697 No, Paul. I don't mind. 210 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,131 So it begins. 211 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,466 - For a third time? - That's right. 212 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,768 Thrice begunst. 213 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,237 Collaborate with other influencers. 214 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,973 It-- Carly, there's simply no better way 215 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,541 to introduce you to new fans. 216 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,911 I can get you a collab with The Tiny Psychic. 217 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,580 You shut your dirty mouth! (laughs) 218 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,481 What do you think, Freddie? 219 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,483 Do you want to make the greatest episode 220 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,919 of iCarly in history? 221 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,020 Or do you want it to just be like some massive-- 222 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,622 Don't do Paul's thing. 223 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,390 I will agree to it, but please don't do Paul's thing. 224 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,359 Absolutely. 225 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,094 But it begins! 226 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,362 - (laughs) - She did it again. 227 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,897 I did it again. 228 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,532 But I'm done now. 229 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,434 * * 230 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,607 * * 231 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,375 Wow! She's even tinier in person. 232 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,077 You know what's not tiny? 233 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,846 Her list of ex-husbands. 234 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,948 Seven. All dead. 235 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,651 Hey, sorry I'm late, but, uh... 236 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:46,053 You probably knew that was gonna happen, right? 237 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,054 (laughs) 238 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,822 Doesn't work like that. 239 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:54,261 In five, four, 240 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,329 three, two... 241 00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:00,533 Carly, we'll be doing your past, present and future 242 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,502 card readings today. 243 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,037 Oh. Do you know how I die? 244 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,272 No, don't tell me. 245 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,207 Do tell me. Is it poison? 246 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,010 - I hope it's poison. - (cell phone chimes) 247 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,779 Uh, shoot. Sorry. Um, someone's texting me 248 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,981 about the Kevin app. I'll just-- I'll silence it. 249 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,582 Should we just shoot it on my phone? 250 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,151 I've got a prototype of the 2023 PearPhone. 251 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,187 It has, like, 11 cameras. 252 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,388 (clicks) 253 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,757 Just CAT scanned your brain, bro. 254 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,560 We shoot iCarly on my equipment. 255 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:30,297 First, your past. 256 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:31,631 The chicken card. 257 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,134 The chicken represents possessiveness, 258 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,070 extreme sensitivity and being too busy 259 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,505 to do your job. 260 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,640 Pfft. Seriously? 261 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,609 How much did you pay her to say this, Paul? 262 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,944 I don't know what you're talking about. 263 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,313 Chicken card? I was literally 264 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,647 just dressed like a chicken. 265 00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:51,151 Carly, the next card is your present. 266 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,353 Ah, yes, the fox card. 267 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,823 Oh, come on! 268 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,091 - What? - Fox card? 269 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,527 I bet the fox card is all the things Paul is. 270 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:07,200 The fox represents confidence, cleverness, and beginnings. 271 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,902 (yelps) 272 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,971 I did not tell her to say that. Okay? 273 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,040 But I told you it has begun. 274 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:16,243 Look, I'm not the fox, you're not the chicken, right? 275 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,578 Let's just start over and use my sick PearPhone 276 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,247 that only I and Tom Cruise have. 277 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,817 This is exactly why I didn't want to bring him on, okay? 278 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,652 He's just trying to make me look bad. 279 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,387 - Give me that. - Why? 280 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,389 - I thought you didn't want it. - Well, now it's the only way 281 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,024 - CARLY: Hey. - we're gonna be able to shoot the segment. 282 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,760 Can you guys just try to work together? Please! 283 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,428 (screams) My crystal ball! 284 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,297 It was a marble. 285 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,799 This is all your fault. 286 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,601 Look, I'm sorry, but I cannot work with this guy. 287 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,570 Okay? It's either him or me. 288 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,438 Ah, that's exactly what a chicken would say. 289 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,608 Oh! So I am the chicken. 290 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,378 * * 291 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,515 All right, ladies, you guys are like my food critic 292 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,818 test run, so what do you think? 293 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,020 Tomatoes? In the winter? 294 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,355 So help me God, if there's blueberries in my dessert, 295 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,690 I'm gonna scream. 296 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,227 I guess this dump has never heard of a little thing 297 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,595 called "seasonality." 298 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,030 Uh, we've heard of it. 299 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,731 We just decided to go in a different, 300 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,600 less fresh direction. 301 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,736 Thank you for helping out. 302 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,271 Honestly, thank you. 303 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:21,041 It's been good to get my mind off my lack of mojo. 304 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,575 I'm going method. 305 00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:26,013 Harper is a 29 year-old stylist who's rude to waiters. 306 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,917 I want to move! It's drafty! 307 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,321 All right, he's here. Time to shine. 308 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,689 Good evening, fine sir. 309 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,525 Before I seat you, may I take your coat off, 310 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,627 which you're not wearing? 311 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,430 If it's okay, I'll just walk around. 312 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,664 I ate before I came. 313 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,034 Good call. Wish I had done the same. 314 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,603 They served us tomatoes in this weather. 315 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,572 Where are we, Portugal? 316 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,674 (both laughing) 317 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:59,913 Her mouth says Portugal, but her humor says Catskills. 318 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,083 Uh-huh. 319 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,585 All right, this guy's a weird one. 320 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,087 You're gonna have to really sell it. 321 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,063 Mmm... 322 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:20,033 Even I, whomst is famously rude to waiters, 323 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:24,104 cannot be rude when the food is this delectable. 324 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,373 Mmm. 325 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,341 I would've expected something more believable. 326 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:32,445 Instead, you're giving desperate stylist posing as an actor. 327 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:37,050 A little more derivative than your other work, but okay. 328 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,653 Wait a minute. What do you mean, "my other work"? 329 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,290 This is an art installation, right? 330 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:47,327 Or did the Spencer Shay quit making art 331 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,263 to open a restaurant? 332 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,366 Guess you had nothing left to say. Pity. 333 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,303 Uh... You thought this was a restaurant? 334 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,471 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You were right. 335 00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,539 This is an installation. 336 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,374 You're literally in the art. 337 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,443 You are the art. 338 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,777 "Yart." 339 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,148 Would you excuse me, please? (sighs) 340 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,150 Okay. He's not a food critic. 341 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,920 He is an art critic, so we need a new plan or we kill him. 342 00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,421 Those are the only two options. 343 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,990 Maybe it would help if my character were French. 344 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,392 (stereotypical French laugh) 345 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,262 Garcon, croissant! 346 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,631 BOTH: No. 347 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,067 * * 348 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,204 Oh, you're safe. 349 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,574 Can't believe I fell for "911 quicksand." 350 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,276 How'd she get you to come? 351 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,844 She just asked me. 352 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,250 Follow me, guys. 353 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,493 What is this? 354 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,595 It's an opportunity for the two of you 355 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,130 to learn how to work together, 356 00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,200 to become the team that I know you can be. 357 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,136 It's an escape room. 358 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,638 (timer counting down) 359 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,507 I really wish I had peed. 360 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:12,045 Freddie, inizia. That's Italian for, "it begins." 361 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,514 Ah. Disagree, Paul. 362 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,183 It is not beginning. 363 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,185 So why don't you just go back to where you came from? 364 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,353 Italy. Or so you say. 365 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,256 Actually, joke's on you, because I was originally born 366 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,226 in Iowa, two weeks early. What's up? 367 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,195 Guys, stop it. 368 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,364 Did that wall just move? 369 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,400 Carly, are you okay? I know you get claustrophobic. 370 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,269 Yeah, bro, I know stuff about her. 371 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,438 Remember, I was her you in Italy, 372 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,907 except better, because I look dope eating pasta. 373 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,676 - Don't you eat that pasta. - Mmm, here, have some. It's good. 374 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,078 Don't-- Don't feed it to me. 375 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,646 - Trust me, it's really good. - I am full! 376 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,249 Guys, the walls closing in was not in the brochure 377 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,118 and I am trying not to freak out. 378 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,955 I always wanted to learn the flute! 379 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,857 I just had to say that before I die, 380 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,393 which is obviously happening. 381 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:06,866 * * 382 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,602 Wow. These magazines from the '70s have not aged well. 383 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,339 They made cigarettes exclusively for pregnant women? 384 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,241 Carly, little help? 385 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,443 No. You have to work together, 386 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,345 'cause I am too busy freaking out. 387 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,013 God, I wish I was pregnant, 388 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,482 so I could have one of those cigarettes. 389 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,950 Paul, will you stop trying to turn on that computer 390 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,818 - and come help me? - Hey, if I wanted to turn 391 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,287 this computer on, all I would have to say 392 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,122 is, "Sup, girl?" 393 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,792 What are you doing? 394 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,329 There. I did it. 395 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,031 What do you mean, you did it? 396 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,466 I did 95% of the work 397 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,134 and you came in and took all the credit, 398 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,270 which is exactly what you're trying to do with iCarly. 399 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,971 Can you guys just stop arguing 400 00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,074 and figure out what the clue on the TV means? 401 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,842 No! No! I can't die! 402 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,845 I never got Ricky Martin to sign my wrist. 403 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,416 * * 404 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,917 All right, change of plans. 405 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,387 This guy is an art critic, so he is about to have 406 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,622 the worst dining experience ever. 407 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:06,293 Please, do me the honor of having an awful meal. 408 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,461 So just continue on as we were. 409 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,097 Yeah. 410 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,467 Bon appétit! Losers! 411 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,170 (air horn sounds) 412 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,273 Our meat isn't undercooked. 413 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,808 It's frozen! 414 00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,010 They kind of look like boomerangs, so why don't you 415 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,579 toss them and see if they come back to you? 416 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,815 MAN: Oof! 417 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,117 Nope! 418 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,820 (skirt clinking) 419 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,056 (clatters) 420 00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,463 Mark? 421 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,132 Are you asking me to marry you? 422 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,669 (giggles) 423 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,105 I thought you were proposing to me tonight. 424 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,141 Now I have to watch her get engaged? 425 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,676 Some music for your special evening? 426 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,578 - Ugh, no! - (giggles) 427 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,913 (off-key): * It's your night * 428 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,251 * It's your engagement night. * 429 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,486 It's for real. 430 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:11,158 Would you like some water, sir? 431 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:12,859 Uh... 432 00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:18,598 Excellent! Waiters these days are drowning 433 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,800 in the outrageous demands of the consumer. 434 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,669 - (laughs) - Okay. 435 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,539 Leaving so soon? What'd you think? 436 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,775 It's been a devastating commentary 437 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,811 on the toxic relationship between those who serve 438 00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,045 and those who are served. 439 00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,814 Okay! 440 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,251 But it didn't have that Spencer Shay 441 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,987 signature touch. Pity. 442 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,360 (screams) 443 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,396 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 444 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,763 Oh, my God! 445 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,699 Oh, my good arm! Oh, my good arm! 446 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,834 - My less good arm! - Oh, my God! 447 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,069 This must be a metaphor for something. 448 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,271 Oh, that's right. 449 00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,872 The service industry is burned out. 450 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,242 And unless something changes, it always will be! 451 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,045 Now that's the Spencer Shay touch I was looking for. 452 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,680 No longer a pity! 453 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:14,587 Yes! We did it! I'm so happy for you. 454 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,889 - (whimpers) - Hospital? 455 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,124 Yup! 456 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,029 - Fire is hot. - It usually is, baby. 457 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,531 (Spencer sobs) 458 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,998 (screams) 459 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,134 * * 460 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,205 Can you guys please get us out of here? 461 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,107 I am hyperventilating, I'm on the verge of a panic attack, 462 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,344 and I picked an exhausting distraction. 463 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:41,748 Seriously, this is what people won't shut up about? 464 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,484 Ooh. iCarly exercise video. 465 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,786 Ooh, sucky idea. 466 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,821 Hey, you two both keep saying 467 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,423 that you want what's best for iCarly. 468 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,991 Well, guess what? 469 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:55,662 I'm Carly, so I know what's best for the show. 470 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,630 And that's for both of you to work on it. 471 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,266 Together. 472 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,902 But if you can't work together, then I'll do it myself. 473 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,206 I don't want to do it myself. Make up already. 474 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,977 She's right, okay? I'm sorry. 475 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,280 I-I know how much she loved working with you in Italy, 476 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,415 and I-I don't know, I guess I just felt... 477 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,484 - threatened by you. - Yes! 478 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,585 Good stuff, Freddie. 479 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:19,786 Paul, now you go. 480 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,220 I'm sorry, too. 481 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,155 You guys have been doing this for 15 years. 482 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,592 No one could replace what you do for the show. 483 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,660 I shouldn't have come in so hot. Or tall. 484 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,629 But I-I can't help either of those things. 485 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,331 Attaboy, Paul. 486 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,266 Very powerful stuff. 487 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,834 Now, get us out of here. 488 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,771 All right. Um, let's, uh, let's start with the code 489 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,507 on the TV, okay? Maybe it's a combination. 490 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,509 Uh... 491 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:43,676 The leather briefcase! 492 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,811 Ooh, oh, yeah. Uh, okay. 493 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,679 Four one seven. 494 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:47,780 Come on, come on, come on! 495 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,316 (all scream) 496 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,517 - Attaboy! Okay. - Okay. 497 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,885 Uh, uh... 498 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:54,754 Maybe the next clue is up? 499 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,423 Okay, um... 500 00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:59,025 Paul, give me a boost. 501 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:02,028 - I would love to boost you. - Okay. Here we go. 502 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,332 - Wow, nice boost. - Thanks. 503 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,333 (clicks) 504 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,400 (pop music plays) 505 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,868 Oh, oh. 506 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,771 (all whooping) 507 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,474 Yeah! Yeah! 508 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,810 - Are you okay? - Oh, yeah. I was always okay. 509 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:18,978 I knew the walls were gonna do that, 510 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,246 so I took a beta blocker. 511 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,549 I thought that wasn't in the brochure. 512 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,917 I lied. 513 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,322 Wait, where are we? 514 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,791 It looks like... the '80s? 515 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,326 But I thought we were done. 516 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,595 ESCAPE ROOM HOST: You're not done. 517 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,797 You still have four more decades to escape from. 518 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:40,132 (alarm buzzing, thump) 519 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:43,570 (squeals) 520 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,205 Ooh. Uh... okay. 521 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,374 (groans) Uh-oh. 522 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:48,808 - (squeals) - Yeah, that's real. 523 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,077 All right, Carly, Carly. It's okay. Maybe... 524 00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:52,479 Just, uh, just take a moment... 525 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,280 (both speaking at once) 526 00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:56,416 * * 527 00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:59,552 "Spencer Shay's latest installation 528 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,388 "was unbridled madness, 529 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:05,157 "right down to the absurd and dangerous uniforms, 530 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,760 "which can only be described as Louis XIV 531 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,329 impregnates a pineapple!" (squeals) 532 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,465 Oh! 533 00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:16,436 Oh. What's that? 534 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,306 That's my mojo, y'all. 535 00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:23,209 - I got it back! (laughs) - (laughs) 536 00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,412 Wow, I actually thought you were gonna catch something, 537 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,913 right there. 538 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:30,450 Thank you. I've been doing some acting recently. 539 00:22:32,419 --> 00:22:36,523 (dramatically): I said no ice! 540 00:22:36,623 --> 00:22:37,724 (glass shatters) 541 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,759 (normal voice): Stuff like that. 542 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,262 I love being a part of this community of artists. 543 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,164 Mm. Uh... 544 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,300 Freddie and I came up with a bunch 545 00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:50,603 of new sketch ideas that Paul loves. 546 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,505 - Mm-hmm. - Highlight reel... 547 00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:54,073 "Tiny Psychic Food Critic." 548 00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:55,942 It's The Tiny Psychic reviewing food 549 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,478 before she eats it. 550 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,548 - "Meatball Golf." - It's golf. 551 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:03,483 But with meatballs. 552 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:09,789 And "CAT Scan," which is me getting a CAT scan. 553 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:13,760 It's her getting a CAT scan. 554 00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:19,599 Freddie, see, I could never do this show without you. 555 00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,968 Boop. 556 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,505 Ooh. What about escape womb? 557 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:28,274 (gasps) Oh, like escape room for babies. 558 00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:29,576 I love it! 559 00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:33,946 Ooh, yeah. That's on me. 560 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,182 I left my gummies out again. 561 00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:37,450 Can you go make sure they're okay? 562 00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:38,918 Nah, they'll be back for the chips. 563 00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:41,387 * * 564 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,661 * * 565 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,650 Ooh! 566 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,952 MAN: He hates these cans.