1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,805 - (camera clicks) - (chuckling) 2 00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:06,407 (laughs): Okay. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,078 Carly, it means so much to me that you agreed 4 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,645 to go to my hospital prom. 5 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:16,384 I'm honored. I've never been to a prom at a hospital before. 6 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,552 But is it cool if I sneak away at some point 7 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,055 and have a doctor look at my jacked-up elbows? 8 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,091 Hey, guys, we should probably hit the road, 9 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:26,527 but I'm having trouble finding the hospital on my GPS. 10 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,896 Yeah, it's not coming up on my phone, either. 11 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,365 (laughing) 12 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,601 I can't believe you fell for it. 13 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,637 Fell for what? 14 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,807 You've been pranked by the Prank Prince! 15 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,410 There's cameras everywhere. (laughs) 16 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,512 Excuse me, Carly. 17 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,581 So, we're not going to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital? 18 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,783 That's the hospital from Grey's Anatomy! 19 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,253 Durf. (laughs) 20 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,122 So this is what you do? 21 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:57,325 You manipulate nice people into doing nice things, 22 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,892 and then you make fun of them? 23 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,761 Yarp. It's hilarious. 24 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,631 Oh, man, I'm glad you're not one of those girls 25 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,567 that gets angry at stuff. Ugh, those are the worst! 26 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,702 Why would I be angry? 27 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:13,341 Now I have a $700 hot pink satin dress 28 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,343 I'm never gonna wear again. 29 00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,010 Prank selfie. 30 00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,447 Say "hilarious." Pffft! 31 00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:22,283 (weakly): Hilarious. Yay. 32 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,584 (camera clicks) 33 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,119 * I know * 34 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,754 * You see * 35 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,922 * Somehow the world will change for me * 36 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,992 * And be so wonderful * 37 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,763 * So wake up the members of my nation * 38 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,965 * It's your time to be * 39 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:41,001 * There's no chance unless you take one * 40 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,704 * And the time to see the brighter side * 41 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,974 * Of every situation * 42 00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,942 * Some things are meant to be * 43 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,546 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 44 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,552 I cannot believe what that fool did to you. 45 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:02,356 Oh, the prom fake-out? Yeah, isn't it hilarious? 46 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,159 No, it's infuriating. 47 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,760 Immediately after I watched it, 48 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,263 I created a fake online profile so we could catfish him. 49 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,964 (laughs) 50 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,733 Meet Lakeisha. 51 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,169 She's a young ingenue hoping to strike it big 52 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,406 on the burgeoning Seattle jazz scene. (laughs) 53 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,608 Skoobidy, bup, bup, bitch. 54 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,577 Harper, calm down. 55 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,679 That prank got me a lot of followers. 56 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,415 And Chris and I are on each other's 57 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,049 close friends maps now. 58 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,084 He's buying illegal fireworks in Vancouver 59 00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:34,087 - as we speak. - Oh, my God. So cool. 60 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,989 Girl, I don't care! 61 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,559 You need to tell him to go to hell and block him. 62 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,929 No. I will not choose violence. 63 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,365 Then why does it look like you're murdering 64 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,166 that pillow you're knitting? 65 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,936 How many times do I have to tell you this is crocheting? 66 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,938 I even crocheted you that scarf that says, 67 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,006 "Crocheting and knitting are two different things!" 68 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,076 Yeah, you don't seem angry at all. 69 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,312 Okay, you're right. 70 00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,780 But I'm dealing with it. 71 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,517 Good! Because keeping it bottled up isn't healthy. 72 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:05,219 Actually, it is. 73 00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:09,323 According to certified joy-ologist Sunny Johnson. 74 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,592 Joy-ologist? 75 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,394 So an influencer who listened to one episode 76 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,530 of a Goop meditation podcast, now she thinks she a doctor? 77 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,700 Oh, she listened to all the episodes. 78 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,102 If anyone knows how to deal with anger, it's her. 79 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,505 And she's coming over to drink soft seltzer 80 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,307 and give me advice she only gives people 81 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,941 at Patreon level five. 82 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,379 We are so close to you joining another cult. 83 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,813 (knock at door) 84 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,515 Who's feeling bubbly? 85 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,649 Sunny! 86 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,085 Sunny Johnson, PhD. 87 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,354 That stands for "pretty happy, dude." 88 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:45,125 Oh, I'm Harper Bettencourt, IDGAF. 89 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:50,097 And that stands for "I dance, gather and forage." 90 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,533 You guys are a hoot! 91 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,770 So, Carly, are you ready to deal with your anger Sunny style? 92 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,506 Yes! Oh. 93 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,708 So, what is Sunny style? 94 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,511 When you feel angry, I always say, 95 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,446 "Girl, hit something!" 96 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,548 As in hit the gym and work it out. 97 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,082 Hit the grill and cook it out. 98 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:13,887 Hit the bar and drink until you feel invincible. 99 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,591 That sounds incredible. 100 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:20,561 That sounds like alcoholism. 101 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,964 Have you ever thought about... 102 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,100 I don't know, maybe talking to the person directly? 103 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,603 You are such a hoot! 104 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,171 You know, I think I get it. 105 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,006 We're influencers. 106 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,242 And our followers want authenticity, 107 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,445 so we curate a positive version of that. 108 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,313 Oh, so you lie. 109 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,015 You are such a-- 110 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,252 If you call me a hoot one more time... 111 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,023 She seems nice. 112 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,192 * * 113 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,195 Ugh! 114 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,565 I cannot believe this is happening to me. 115 00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:00,468 I don't want to talk about it, so don't bother asking. 116 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,302 - I won't. - What's going on? 117 00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,338 Finally. Thank you! 118 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,607 This is a confusing age. 119 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,542 I got partnered with Derek Fox-Lubiner 120 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,043 for my English project. 121 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,480 Derek Fox-Lubiner? The coolest guy in school? 122 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:16,116 - This is a disaster! - What? Why? Millicent's cool. 123 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,185 He's gonna make her do all the work 124 00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,920 while he's off playing freeze tag 125 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,489 with the rest of the popular kids. 126 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,890 That was always my move. 127 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,858 Okay. Well, I'll call your teacher 128 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,560 and see if I can get you a different partner. 129 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,497 Are you trying to destroy me? No! 130 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,231 - (sighs) - Real confusing age. 131 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,767 Hey, m'dudes. 132 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,371 Oh, whoa, M&M, new kicks? I like. 133 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,841 Oh, you like? Well, I like that you like. 134 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,911 Do all the kids at school call you M&M? 135 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,847 No, just D-money. And I'm the only one who calls him that. 136 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,950 Oh. Well, what are you guys working on, D-money? 137 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,285 I'm gonna throw this one to M&M. 138 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:55,723 Why? You got a freeze tag game to get to? 139 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:58,158 - What's freeze tag? - I don't know. 140 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,828 Something stupid Freddie keeps bringing up. 141 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,231 The project is called "Page to Plate." 142 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,768 We have to cook a meal based on the 1691 Irish tragedy, 143 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,503 "A Christmas Pie for Emily." 144 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:12,440 Yeah, 'cause you know how in books there's pages 145 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,442 and in food there's plates? 146 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,843 - Oh. - Yeah, I got that. 147 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,911 Yeah, me too. 148 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,080 And then we get to write a report. 149 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,349 Millicent is so good at reports. 150 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:26,019 OMG, stop it, I'm dead. 151 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,190 - I'll go find a table. - 'Kay. (giggles) 152 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,929 Well, now I see why you were so nervous 153 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,765 to be paired with Derek. 154 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,467 You like him. 155 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,537 Oh, my little girl's becoming a little woman. 156 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,539 And here comes a little tear. 157 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,040 You're way too young to have a crush, 158 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,510 so I forbid it, crush over. Problem solved. 159 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,912 Hey, not-the-father, calm down. 160 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,346 Let's just let the wonder 161 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,583 of Millicent's first crush unfold naturally. 162 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,886 "First." Yeah. We'll go with that. 163 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,123 * * 164 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,459 (indistinct conversation and laughter) 165 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:11,899 Nice day of not dealing with the root cause of your feelings? 166 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,367 Yes. Thank you for asking. 167 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,871 We hit the mall, the bar, the gym. 168 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,740 Kind of wish we swapped the order. 169 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,976 I'm really sorry I threw up on you during Hot Bitch Yoga. 170 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,413 Oh, I saw your Instagram. 171 00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,882 And it seems like it was definitely about 172 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,751 addressing your feelings 173 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,753 and not at all about making peace signs 174 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,187 and sticking your tongue out 175 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,590 as if the picture was taken by mistake. 176 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,628 I feel so refreshed and just free of anger. 177 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,295 Carly, you're rage-knitting again. 178 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,431 It's rage-crocheting! 179 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,868 Oh, my God. 180 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,771 Sunny, what do I do? It's still in me. 181 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,473 Don't worry, Carly. It's going to be okay. 182 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,243 There's still one more thing we can hit. 183 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:58,812 (grunting) 184 00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,714 Each other. 185 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,316 Ladies, welcome... 186 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,120 ...to Influencer Fight Club. 187 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:16,530 I don't know how yet, but this feels racist. 188 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,231 * * 189 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,238 * * 190 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,940 Influencer Fight Club is basically 191 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,942 "Girl, hit something" on steroids. 192 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,978 Which, by the way, do not mix well 193 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,814 with the diarrhea tea that sponsors me. 194 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,116 (groans) 195 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,751 Is this a squid game? 196 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,388 No. This is a safe place for us nice influencers 197 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,057 to get our anger out in private. 198 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,358 (influencers groaning) 199 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,394 And you're part of it now. 200 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:50,397 Aw. You think I'm nice? 201 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,333 Let me guess, the first rule about Fight Club 202 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,468 is you do not talk about Fight Club. 203 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,972 No. That's just an incredibly obvious given. 204 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,675 The first rule is protect the face. 205 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,077 These babies are our moneymakers. 206 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,545 (grunts) 207 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,616 I gotta go. The diarrhea tea's kicking in. 208 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:15,723 If you get in that ring, Carly, two words: throat punch. 209 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,257 Are you actually suggesting 210 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,859 that I stay here and I fight someone? 211 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,661 Oh, it's kind of like kickboxing, 212 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,229 and I do that every week. 213 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,765 Plus, it might actually help you get out your anger. 214 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:28,468 Harper, nobody thinks I can fight. 215 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,504 The Army told me, "Nah, we're good." 216 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,708 * * 217 00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:40,147 Oh, look. A Christmas pie recipe that takes less than five hours. 218 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,415 I wouldn't mind spending five hours with you. 219 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,384 - (chuckles) Derek. - What? 220 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,186 I was just saying your name. 221 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,122 Ha. Nice. I'm gonna go pee. 222 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,557 Nice. 223 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,764 (squeals) Derek Fox-Lubiner likes Millicent! 224 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,966 I wonder if the restaurant in the Space Needle is available 225 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,234 for a Christmas Eve wedding in 2042. 226 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,271 Whoa, lean back, Fat Joe. 227 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,774 Sure, it seems like Derek is reciprocating 228 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,308 Millicent's feelings, but don't you think 229 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,476 that's a little convenient? 230 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,577 Kid's up to something. 231 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,680 This is not good, guys. 232 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,448 I'm trying to focus on my English project, 233 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,851 but all I want to do is listen to Adele 234 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,353 and think about D-money on a Jet Ski. 235 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,622 I'm gonna go make you some oolong tea. 236 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,893 It's perfect for when you're longing for someone. 237 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,527 (laughs) 238 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,162 I can't talk right now. 239 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,964 Okay, fine, Mom, you were right. 240 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,700 I just had to be nice, and now she does 241 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,167 whatever I say. 242 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,502 (gasps) 243 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,104 Spencer! You were right about Derek! 244 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,973 He uses jojoba oil to get that hair volume? 245 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,474 No. Do-- 246 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,010 He's just being nice to Millicent 247 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,878 to get her to do whatever he says. 248 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,681 (gasps) I invited that boy into our family. 249 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,618 J'ai reçu ce garçon dans notre famille. 250 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:54,621 That means the same thing. I'm just learning French. 251 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,323 We should split the work. 252 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,358 Maybe one of us does the report, and the other does the pie? 253 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,795 You're so smart and talented. I wish we had two of you. 254 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,964 Wish granted. I'll do both. 255 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,398 Lame! 256 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,934 Lame means cool now. 257 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,336 We have to tell her. 258 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,772 Let me do it so I can gloat about being right. 259 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,708 No, we can't break her heart. 260 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,277 What if we convince her not to like Derek? 261 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,615 (gasps) Sorry, I can officially sleep 262 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,852 with my eyes open now. Did you say something? 263 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,989 * * 264 00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,626 If we sneak out of here, do you think they'll notice? 265 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,528 Unfortunately, they will. 266 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,297 My presence in a room is unmissable. 267 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:41,468 But, look, let's just take a lap and get a lay of the land. 268 00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,804 Carly! I'm Kelly. 269 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,506 - (grunts) - I am such a fan. 270 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,408 I really hope I get to fight you. 271 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,879 It would just be an honor to wipe the floor with your ass. 272 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,647 The honor would be my ass's. 273 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,216 (sighs) Don't worry. 274 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,918 Most people don't even need both their kidneys. 275 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,152 I'm Elena. 276 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,721 You're the girl who takes topless photos 277 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,390 in front of national landmarks. 278 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,059 That's me. Mammifest Chestiny. 279 00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,662 And wait, you the girl who takes bottomless photos 280 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:11,398 in front of war memorials. 281 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,501 Yep. Purple Heart, White Cheeks. 282 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,070 People online are always pitting us against each other. 283 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:20,473 They're trying to make us like the Nicki Minaj and Cardi B 284 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,509 of tasteful patriotic nudity. 285 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:26,146 Yeah. And luckily, when I want to throttle the neck 286 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,415 of every commenter who criticizes us, 287 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,651 I can come here and just, you know, smack somebody around. 288 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,687 And then I feel better. Self-care. 289 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,724 Or you could just limit your comments. 290 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,226 Or even not read 'em. 291 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,229 Nah, we'd rather come here and fight it out. 292 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,098 Most people don't even need both their kidneys. 293 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,834 You already said that. 294 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,302 Well, obviously, it bears repeating. 295 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,871 Maybe we should leave. 296 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,006 The one in the far corner with the wide-set eyes 297 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,942 has been mad-dogging my liver, 298 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:57,811 and last time I checked, I need both the ones I got. 299 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,948 Where do you two think you're going? 300 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,582 Oh, um... 301 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,151 If it's your first night at Fight Club, 302 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,318 you have to fight. 303 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,688 Have to, as in must to? 304 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,324 You've seen Influencer Fight Club. 305 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,460 To make sure you won't tell anyone about it, 306 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,062 you must become one of us. 307 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,897 Wait, so you're blackmailing me? 308 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:20,367 Uhm, it's African American-mailing. And yes. 309 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,604 I told you this place was racist. 310 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,407 * * 311 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,044 Hey. Hey! (yells) 312 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,813 Okay, look, we gotta be brutal and honest, 313 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,648 like an Estonian mother. 314 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,050 No. No, this is gonna work. 315 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,818 I can convince Millicent not to like Derek. 316 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,221 She is not gonna take your advice on romance. 317 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,656 You haven't had a girlfriend in years. 318 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,926 I literally have a girlfriend right now. 319 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,795 No, I don't think that's right. 320 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,034 Hey. How's the project going, Milli Vanill'? 321 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,736 Great! I suggested we dress up like characters 322 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,639 from the book, and Derek said, "Lame." 323 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,008 Lame means cool now. 324 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,144 So I gotta get a costume together. 325 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,845 It's gonna be like a date, but schoolwork. 326 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,547 So a fun date. 327 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check out this app I just downloaded. 328 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,185 It shows you with one hundred percent accuracy 329 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,187 what you're going to look like when you get older. 330 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,357 I couldn't help myself and I uploaded Derek's picture. 331 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,628 - Woof. Am I right? - Aw. 332 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,497 Does this mean you think we're gonna grow old together? 333 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,366 Do me next! 334 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,404 Well, that failed. Time for the Estonian approach. 335 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,706 I'm gonna need an egg. Preferably pheasant. 336 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,608 Duck will do. 337 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,711 No, let me--let me break it to her. 338 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,848 (sighs) Hey, Millicent... 339 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,383 I gotta tell you something. 340 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,785 I overheard Derek telling his mother that he was 341 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,922 just being nice to you to get you to do whatever he says. 342 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,590 We thought you should know. 343 00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,859 I thought you should know earlier. I'm the hero here. 344 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,362 Why the heck would I want to know? 345 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,097 You've ruined my life! 346 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,399 Now I have to go scratch out our initials 347 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,201 from a lot of trees. 348 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,037 * * 349 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:09,542 (cheering, excited chatter) 350 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,278 You got this, Carly Shay. 351 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,314 And if you don't, you can catch up on TV in the hospital. 352 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,750 Come on, girl. Hit something! 353 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,586 But again, not the face. 354 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,022 I'm rooting for you, Carly! I got a hundred on Sunny, 355 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,856 but I'm rooting for you! 356 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,295 Okay, here we go. 357 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,830 Totally hitting you. 358 00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,334 Definitely gonna hit you. 359 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,369 Am I doing it? 360 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,739 Okay, let's make that $200 on Sunny. 361 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,675 (laughter) 362 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,577 What are you two laughing at? 363 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,879 Can't you see I'm fighting for my life in here? 364 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,082 Carly, this is, like, the funniest video 365 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,951 you've ever been in. So good. 366 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,689 CARLY: I've never been to a prom at a hospital before. 367 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,558 Is it cool if I sneak away at some point 368 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,627 and have a doctor look at my jacked-up elbows? 369 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,695 CHRIS: That's the hospital from Grey's Anatomy! 370 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,066 You've been pranked by the Prank Prince! 371 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,568 I can't believe you fell for it! 372 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,671 Pffft! Pffft! Pffft! 373 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,073 Hilarious. 374 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,343 (screams with rage) 375 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,545 ALL: Oh! 376 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,481 Oh, God! I am so sorry. 377 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,150 You will be hearing from my lawyer 378 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,485 if there's any lasting damage to my face. 379 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,189 But I am proud of you, girl! 380 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,024 (laughing): Oh, man! 381 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,459 I got you all so good. 382 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,627 Pe, pe, pe, peo! 383 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,596 Chris? What are you doing here? 384 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,799 I've just been following you around on the close friends map. 385 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,434 Oh, so you're just a stalker? 386 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,937 Yeah, but, like, in a funny way. (laughs) 387 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,040 And then I saw this whole fight club. 388 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,209 Once I post this video of all you influencers 389 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,111 beating the hell out of each other, 390 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,147 everyone's gonna know you're all fake. (laughs) 391 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,783 But, like, not in a funny way. 392 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,252 Prank, prank! Pffft! 393 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,960 People aren't just mad at me for punching Sunny. 394 00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,897 All the influencers at Fight Club are losing brand deals. 395 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:14,267 Oh, man, Sunny lost her contract with Live Laugh Loofah. 396 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,703 The shower scrub that offers words of affirmation? 397 00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,706 It gets rid of dead skin cells and negative thoughts. 398 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,708 She gonna be dirty and sad. 399 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,811 This is all my fault. 400 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,080 Oh, that's one way to look at it. 401 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,148 What's another way? 402 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,617 Oh, there's really just the one. 403 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,052 Well, it's Chris's fault, too. 404 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,488 He used a map for evil. 405 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,090 Like a pirate. 406 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,259 Yes, let it out. 407 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,494 He targeted me for being kind. 408 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,995 That's right, get mad! 409 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,133 You know, I'm a nice person, but don't fudge with me! 410 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,200 Mm-hmm. 411 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,836 Girl, hit something. 412 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,973 He's not even good at pranks! 413 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,208 He's not! 414 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,277 And you never unload the dishwasher. 415 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,346 I won't argue, 'cause you're making progress. 416 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:03,416 And Meyer lemons taste the same as regular lemons! 417 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,285 They're sweeter, but go on, sis! 418 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,455 Yes, give me those tiny punches. 419 00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,391 And they picked Bran to be king? 420 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:16,996 Bran? He was gone for a whole season! 421 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,703 - I feel so much better. - All right! 422 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,005 You want to buy some Live Laugh Loofahs? 423 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:32,979 No. I want to rake my nails across Chris's eyeballs 424 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:36,983 until blood spurts out of them and I can drink it. 425 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,252 Okay. 426 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,887 I see you've reached catharsis. 427 00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,489 Now you just need closure. 428 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,091 What I need is a straw so I can drink 429 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,294 Chris's eyeball blood. 430 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,598 Okay, yeah, maybe I need some closure. 431 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,302 * * 432 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,705 Millicent, why are you all dressed up 433 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,240 if you're just gonna confront Derek? 434 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,675 Have you ever heard of a revenge outfit? 435 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,111 The zipper got stuck. 436 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,279 (knock at door) 437 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,015 What's lame? 438 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,885 Derek. Sit. 439 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,723 Ah. 440 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,160 Does anyone else want to sit too? 441 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,163 - I'll stand, thanks. - You do you. 442 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,099 I will do me, but not because you told me to. 443 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,270 Did you say something to your mom on the phone 444 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,406 about being nice so that "she does whatever you say"? 445 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,844 - Yes, but I was-- - But, but, but, but, but! 446 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:41,848 I should have known better than to fall for your tricks. 447 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,217 After all, I am human, while you have 448 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,119 the emotional intelligence of an energy drink. 449 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,122 Millicent, I was talking about my puppy, Athena. 450 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:53,025 I've been having trouble with her, but our trainer said 451 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,229 if we were nicer, she would do whatever I say. 452 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,266 BOTH: Oh... 453 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,701 But you made me do all the work. 454 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,603 I didn't make you. You offered. 455 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,873 Which makes sense, 'cause you're really good at doing projects. 456 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:09,309 And I'm really good at having cool haircuts. 457 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:11,878 I was just trying to make you happy. 458 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,613 BOTH: Aw. 459 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,982 Why would you want me to be happy? 460 00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,084 Because D-money loves her. 461 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:23,055 M&M, you're smart. I think you know why. 462 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,459 Space Needle? I'd like to book a wedding. 463 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:30,162 Christmas Eve, 2042. I'll be paying in crypto-- 464 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,764 She hung up. 465 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,666 (indistinct conversation) 466 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,836 My lil' Milli Vanill' has a boyfriend. 467 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,539 Oh, wow, a boyfriend. Um... 468 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,007 When you say the word like that, 469 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,875 just out loud, you know, with your mouth... 470 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,477 Catch me, dude. 471 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,212 - I'm gonna faint. - Oh, I got you. 472 00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,214 Got--there he is. 473 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,584 * * 474 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:56,989 I'm ready for closure. With my cathar-sisterhood. 475 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,592 I never should have taught you that word. 476 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,461 Shut up, he's here. 477 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,597 Hello? I'm here for the discount illegal fireworks. 478 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,400 Oh, Chris. (chuckles) 479 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,337 Chris, Chris, Chris. 480 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,105 Carly. I didn't know you were into fireworks. 481 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,442 Want to go grab come M-80s and piss off some dogs? 482 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,009 There are no fireworks, Chris. 483 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,878 It didn't tip you off 484 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,348 when Lakeisha the jazz singer invited you 485 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,384 to the very warehouse Fight Club was held in? 486 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,653 No. 487 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:27,987 All right, bye. 488 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,221 Kelly, get the door. 489 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,424 * * 490 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,895 What, am I supposed to be scared? 491 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,164 Okay, I'm scared. 492 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,299 You should be. 493 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,036 You hurt my feelings when you took advantage 494 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,272 of my kindness, Chris. 495 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,140 You hurt 'em real bad. 496 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,478 I thought we were friends. Friends, Chris. 497 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:53,480 Like the show. 498 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,048 What do I have to say to make this stop? 499 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,984 Oh, you don't have to say a word, 500 00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,819 'cause we're gonna say 'em all. 501 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,954 (clamoring) 502 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,891 Oh, okay. Is this a prank? Where are the cameras? 503 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,326 Oh, no. This isn't a prank. 504 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,496 This is just for us. 505 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:12,865 And it's gonna be healthy as hell. 506 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,367 You're up, Kelly. 507 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,936 (clamoring, cheering) 508 00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:21,841 Chris, because you exposed Influencer Fight Club, 509 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,010 all of my sponsors dropped me. 510 00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:25,945 (disappointed sighs) 511 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,780 I mean, I got new ones 512 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,582 and I actually make more money now, 513 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:30,850 but you made me do paperwork. 514 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:33,152 (gasping, murmuring) 515 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,186 Hey, Chris! 516 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:37,089 (cheering) 517 00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:41,160 Influencer Fight Club was the only thing 518 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,996 that brought me happiness and you took that away from me. 519 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,798 Whose ass am I supposed to kick now? 520 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:48,234 I think Chris's ass. 521 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,904 (yelps, moans) 522 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:53,740 Right in the moneymaker! 523 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,409 (cheering) 524 00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:57,810 (thudding) 525 00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,079 Hope he still has that hospital gown. 526 00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:02,181 - Smackdown selfie? - Oh, yeah! 527 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,218 (camera clicks) 528 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:07,854 * * 529 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:11,758 You pranked him with a fake fireworks sale? That's nothing. 530 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,292 Just let me have this. 531 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,294 Plus, your Pranks Anonymous sponsor 532 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,564 said you shouldn't even be talking about pranks. 533 00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:20,066 I'm not! I'm talking about 534 00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,569 other ways you could've gotten closure. 535 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:25,605 Like putting clear nail polish on his soap, 536 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:29,141 or replacing every book in his apartment with Twilight, 537 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,410 or sending him a photo of me 538 00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,846 licking all of his pens two weeks earlier. 539 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:36,148 Oh, God, I've got a taste and I need more. 540 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,785 - I gotta prank! Hold me back! - (both scream) 541 00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,052 It's not working! 542 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,621 - You're too small! - I know! 543 00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:42,889 - Get bigger! - I can't! 544 00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,491 (screams) Where's my pranking kit? 545 00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:13,786 Ooh! 546 00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:16,088 MAN: He hates these cans.