1 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,763 -[car accelerating] -[Lebowitz] I've traveled quite a bit. 2 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,886 Um, I used to enjoy it more than I imagine I would now. 3 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,104 Um, I used to be younger, you know. 4 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,435 I used to be, um… 5 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:25,031 I can't say that I was ever really that, um, 6 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,528 you know, that easygoing, 7 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,489 um, but certainly more than I am now. 8 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,700 Um, I've always been easily annoyed, 9 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:34,240 but now I am in a constant state of rage. [chuckling] 10 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,155 So basically, you know, one thing about leaving your apartment 11 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,245 is there's so many other people out there. 12 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,580 So, the great thing about my apartment, aside from that it's a great apartment, 13 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,707 um, is that, um, I control if there are other people in it, 14 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,755 and that is very important to me. 15 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,629 And this is something you cannot do in a hotel lobby. 16 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,717 -[Ted Griffin] Uh-huh. -I've tried, okay? 17 00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:56,102 You cannot do on a plane. On a commercial plane. 18 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,061 And you can do it on a private plane, but I don't own one. 19 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,852 I'm always surprised, when I've been on people's private planes, that I'm on it. 20 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:05,437 I always think, "If this was my plane, you wouldn't be on it." 21 00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,232 -[Griffin guffaws] -So, like, like… 22 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,238 What's the point of having a private plane if other people are on it? 23 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,451 Yes! I was like… 24 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:16,660 People say, "Wouldn't you want your friends on it?" No, I would not. 25 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,503 ["Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra playing] 26 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,248 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 27 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:29,877 ♪ If you can use some exotic booze There's a bar in far Bombay ♪ 28 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:35,888 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 29 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:42,937 ♪ Come fly with me Let's float down to Peru ♪ 30 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:48,231 ♪ In llama land There's a one-man band ♪ 31 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:51,316 ♪ And he'll toot his flute for you ♪ 32 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:56,992 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 33 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,543 [Martin Scorsese] Here we are. 34 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,625 Okay, well, we just want you to be, you know, as comfortable-- 35 00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,711 [Lebowitz] Right. On the set of Wolf of Wall Street, 36 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,047 I didn't see you till I started really, really fucking it up. 37 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,474 [Scorsese] Then I had to come out. 38 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,682 You came out. Everyone went, "God, here comes Marty!" 39 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,020 To me, there's a very sad thing about going to outer space, 40 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,523 which is that it's in the past. 41 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,404 I mean, something that seemed so amazing… 42 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,402 I mean, when we went to space the first time. 43 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,614 Not to the Moon. 44 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,414 -Um, just when John Glenn went into space… -[Scorsese] Uh-huh. 45 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,778 …um, they brought a television set into my school, which was 46 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:40,991 shocking, 47 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,657 because television and school, 48 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,075 two different worlds. 49 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,384 You know, I was never, even at that age, very interested in science, you know, 50 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,839 um, but it seemed like, "That's a great thing. 51 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,170 That's an amazing thing, 52 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,465 that people could figure out how to do that", you know. 53 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,840 And so I thought it was a great thing. 54 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:01,097 You know, and I thought it was, um, an important thing. 55 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:06,981 I know that, um, some of these rich guys, um, now have their own, like, NASA, 56 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,481 because we don't have NASA. 57 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,113 Now, it's kind of privatized 58 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:14,190 and now Elon Musk has, like, you know a NASA type, 59 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:17,697 whatever you call it, rocket ship company, and they call it space tourism. 60 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,740 -People will be able to, like… -[Marc Balet] Right. 61 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:23,081 -…have a good time. -[Balet] Yeah. You're not signing up? 62 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,661 I'm not signing up, but I'm happy to sign the tourists up. 63 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,617 [Balet chuckles] 64 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:31,246 I do not want to go to outer space, so it doesn't interest me, you know. 65 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:36,666 But I think that it's a good thing for a country to explore these things. 66 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,138 -Driverless cars… -[Balet chuckles] 67 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,639 …you know, this is one of the things that I have to say surprised me. 68 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,602 Driverless cars. 69 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,981 Because I never thought about this. 70 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:50,809 Like, when they first started writing about this, I thought, "Who wanted this?" 71 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,234 Like, I just never thought about it. 72 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,526 There's a lot of inventions that I think, "Oh, that sounds interesting," 73 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,531 or I understand why someone would want that, even though I don't. 74 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,914 But driverless cars, 75 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,660 I mean, I have a car. I drive. 76 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,292 And I-- I thought, like, 77 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:08,499 I never once thought, "Wouldn't it be great if this car could drive itself?" 78 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,463 -I've only got a 20. Can you break it? -Yeah, sure. No problem. 79 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:14,554 [tires screeching] 80 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,839 People say, "Wouldn't you be scared in a driverless car?" 81 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,263 -[Scorsese] Yes. -I think of times 82 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,131 I was scared in a car with a driver. 83 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,968 [tires screeching] 84 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,603 [flamenco dancer tapping] 85 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,021 [cab honks loudly] 86 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,729 [Lebowitz] I have been petrified, you know. 87 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:33,230 I mean, the scene in that movie of yours, After Hours, when the cab takes off. 88 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:37,404 [Scorsese] Yeah, that's really from an actual cab ride, with the flamenco. 89 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,895 That totally happened to me. 90 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,567 [Lebowitz] When I saw that movie and that cab took off-- 91 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,236 -Griffin's in it, right? -[Scorsese] Yeah. 92 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,494 Oh my God! 93 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,655 -I could not stop laughing. -That's it! 94 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:50,004 Because that was the beginning of crazy cab drivers. 95 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,291 -Yes. -I mean, there were cabs before that. 96 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,835 -[Scorsese] Not like this. -We don't know why this happens, 97 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:58,799 but, all of a sudden, it becomes a thing where all the cab drivers are insane, 98 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,129 and they all drive a million miles an hour, 99 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,677 and they won't listen to you. 100 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,850 You have to beg them. "Please, slow down." You have to make stuff up. 101 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,430 Like, "I have a bad back," or 102 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:11,015 you know, when I was younger, I would say, "I'm pregnant," which scares them. 103 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,522 Now, of course, I couldn't say that, 104 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,813 -unless they're completely blind. -[Scorsese laughing] 105 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:18,067 So there are lots of unbelievably horrible drivers 106 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,361 that if you took all the bad drivers and also all the drunk drivers, 107 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,526 you know, and also all the drivers who are high, 108 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:27,044 um, probably driverless cars are probably safer. 109 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:31,038 So it's not like human beings have such great judgment, you know. 110 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,542 Fran Lebowitz is with us. The new volume is called Social Studies. 111 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,415 We were speaking during the commercial break 112 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,712 about something that is indigenous to New York City. 113 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:42,756 Before you were a best-selling celebrity author, you were a cab driver. 114 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,392 Were you a good cab driver? 115 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,799 I-- I don't want to brag. 116 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,717 I was an excellent… I was, in fact, a superb cab driver. 117 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,136 I did not like driving a cab, I have to say. 118 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,515 It didn't find it colorful, interesting, or picturesque. 119 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,613 I learned nothing from it, and I never want one of those jobs again. 120 00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:01,859 I mean driving a cab, now it's a really horrible job, but it was a horrible job. 121 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:06,414 Um, there were, at the beginning, at that point, a few hippies driving cabs, 122 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:09,331 but basically, the New York City cab driver 123 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,500 -was a working-class Jewish guy… -[Scorsese] Uh-huh. 124 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,120 …with a cigar in his mouth. 125 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,247 You could smoke in cabs then. And they were very mean to me. 126 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,839 In case any of them are still alive, they were very mean to me, these guys. 127 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,343 They were-- And I was really surprised, 128 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:26,715 because they looked kind of like my uncle or something. 129 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,513 I thought they would be-- but they… [coughs] 130 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:31,266 …and I realize now, even then I might have started to realize, 131 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,559 they were, like, really worried. 132 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,903 Like, "What? Is this what's going to happen to the profession?" 133 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,399 -[Scorsese laughs] -"These, like, girls are gonna come in 134 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,112 with the long hair, and, like… [coughs] 135 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,362 …this whole thing is over?" 136 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:46,533 It was such a good job, you know, from the point of view of money earning, 137 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:50,084 um, that those guys, they worked eight hours a day, 138 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,541 you know, like, five days a week. 139 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,960 They had wives. They had children. 140 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,079 -The wives did not work. -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 141 00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,416 Okay? Okay, and they made a living. 142 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,553 They lived usually in Queens or Brooklyn, 143 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:07,840 which then was a different place than it is now, um, and it was a good job. 144 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,967 There was a cafeteria on Lower Park Avenue 145 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,305 called the Belmore, 146 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,230 and that's where the cab drivers ate. 147 00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:17,519 It was open all night. It was open 24 hours a day, 148 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,273 and for some reason, 149 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,475 they must have had some sort of deal with the cops. 150 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,356 You could leave the cab in front without it getting a ticket. 151 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,824 So, that's why it was so popular with cab drivers. 152 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,744 Not because, you know, they had the most delicious food. 153 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,164 Cab drivers, well known to be great judges of this. 154 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,253 And when I would go there, um, no one would talk to me. 155 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:36,998 So I was, like, 156 00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:39,961 I was very popular in, like, my high school cafeteria, 157 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,962 but in the cab drivers' cafeteria, very unpopular. 158 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:45,205 They wouldn't talk to me. If I asked a question, 159 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,718 sometimes trying to get some advice, sometimes they wouldn't even answer me. 160 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:53,181 You know, there were garages then, with big fleets of cabs, you know, 161 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,644 and so you would go and pick up your cab from the garage. 162 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,805 Um, there was a gas pump in the garage. 163 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,154 They put the gas in. You didn't pay for the gas. 164 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,019 All they did was write down how much there was 165 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:05,606 to make sure that it jived with your trip sheet, how far it was. 166 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,653 So you didn't, you know, I guess in their mind, 167 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,907 you didn't take the cab and go to East Hampton for the weekend. 168 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,870 -[Scorsese laughing] -So it's like, you know… 169 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,490 We had to take a test, 170 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:18,747 you know, a cab driving test, which they cannot possibly have now. 171 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,131 -[Scorsese laughs] -Okay, I mean, I don't know. 172 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,289 I haven't tried to get this job for a long time. 173 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:27,717 But, I mean, since, you know, I have actually gotten into taxis 174 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:31,298 and said, "Grand Central Station, please," and they say, "Huh?" 175 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:34,892 I think, like, "Grand Central Station. Okay, they don't know where it is." 176 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:38,102 Um, so we had to, when I say "we," 177 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,694 I make it sound like it was, I don't know, Harvard Business School. It wasn't. 178 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,481 And it's not like London, 179 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:47,194 which has this very famous hard test with eight million questions, 180 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:50,066 But, uh, it had a number of things, you know. 181 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,494 You certainly had to know the airports, uh, 182 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,493 and you had to know different stores, different places. 183 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:56,736 Now, they don't. 184 00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,247 Um, and… [clears throat] 185 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,670 …it's a very devalued job now. 186 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,579 Right. 187 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,165 -19 Gramercy Park South, please. -[cars honking] 188 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,375 -Cabs are very unpleasant. Let's face it. -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 189 00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,676 They put those things in. The screen in front of you. 190 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,811 I discovered when they put them in, I'm bad at shutting them off. 191 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:20,479 No, no, no. Look, the plot of this phone call isn't working for me. 192 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,770 It's ordinary. I've seen it a million times, okay? 193 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,983 [woman] Excuse me-- 194 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,573 -Excuse me. There's not itch to it. -[console beeping] 195 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,689 He's just got out of prison, all right? 196 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:31,526 -[woman] Daddy's in Cleveland. -[Scorsese] He just got out of prison. 197 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:33,162 I am bad at shutting them off. 198 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,659 I put my finger or thumb on the thing a million times, 199 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,581 even though I know nothing could be dirtier than this. 200 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,871 [Scorsese laughing] 201 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,424 Like, you could eat a ten-dollar bill probably, 202 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,249 it would be cleaner than putting your thumb on this thing 203 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:50,205 where a million people have tried to turn this thing off, and I'm very bad at it. 204 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,838 I have no luck with this thing at all. 205 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,595 I've been very lucky in my life, I know, in certain ways. 206 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,678 Um, and in certain ways, very unlucky. 207 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,063 And, at my age, that kind of luck doesn't change. 208 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:04,021 It's not like I'll wake up and find out, "You have incredible real estate luck." 209 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,943 Or, "You can get that thing off in the back of a cab." 210 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:10,193 I know these things aren't connected. One seems small, one seems big, 211 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,026 but they're both things that I am unable to do. 212 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,326 Now, Mr. Scorsese and I are gonna take questions from the audience. 213 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,660 Um, wow. 214 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,751 -A lot of people. -We can't see anything. 215 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:24,169 If you raise your hand, I will call on you. 216 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,078 -You. -[audience laughs] 217 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,457 Hello, I’m Laura.  From Barcelona. 218 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:29,918 My question is… 219 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,838 I-- I-- I-- also… 220 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,431 Something happened to me.  I’m on crutches. 221 00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,139 Since I have moved to New York, 222 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,559 a police car hit me. 223 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:43,430 And I’m suing the city of New York, because people say, 224 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,187 “You have to sue the city, because you are going to get money." 225 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:47,480 "A police car just hit you--" 226 00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,983 -Is this a question? -[audience laughing] 227 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,526 -Because it goes on, yeah. -[light applause] 228 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,530 It's a good story. 229 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,071 [Laura] My question is, now, you live in New York. 230 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,575 How long will it take me to get this money from the city? 231 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,739 Okay. All right, here's the question. 232 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,746 She's from Barcelona. That's not part of the question. 233 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:05,710 [audience laughs] 234 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:09,000 She now lives in New York. She was hit by a police car. 235 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,879 Now she's suing the city 236 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,461 and she wants to know how long it will take to get her money. 237 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,547 [Scorsese, audience laughing] 238 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:20,717 Yeah. 239 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,602 Everybody asks me that. 240 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,349 -[Lebowitz chuckles] -[Scorsese] Yeah. Yeah. 241 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,604 All right, I will tell you this. 242 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,057 -Yeah. -I live across the street 243 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,977 from one of these law firms 244 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,936 that you hear advertise all the time. 245 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:37,696 The kind of law firms that say, you know, "Have you broken a nail?" 246 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:41,700 [all laughing, chuckling] 247 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,287 -"Dropped an egg?" -[audience laughing] 248 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,661 [Scorsese] Yeah. 249 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,457 "Money could be owed to you." 250 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,291 ["Street Scene" by Alfred Newman plays] 251 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,568 [Lebowitz] I'm in my subway station one day, 252 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:19,612 and there's all these signs that it's closing for… 253 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,327 "station enhancement." 254 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,327 Station enhancement. 255 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,832 Not, "We're not gonna fix the subways," which are all broken. 256 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,004 The tracks are broken. The signals are broken. 257 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,343 The cars are broken. Every single thing is broken. 258 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,919 There aren't enough trains. They break. They're old. 259 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,125 They don't fix them. 260 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:40,934 Um, but the station enhancement, 261 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:45,180 and there were big posters, um, 262 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,524 with lists of all the things they were gonna do. 263 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,637 The station was closing for five months. 264 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,024 Five months! 265 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,188 So I look. 266 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,783 I'm starting to read this poster, 267 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,110 and there's a guy standing next to me who, 268 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:04,446 at the end of reading it, I become aware we're reading at the exact same speed. 269 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:07,203 And so it's all the things they're gonna do to the station. 270 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,076 And at the bottom of this list, 271 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,003 I'm not making this up. 272 00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,041 It's impossible to be a satirist in this era. 273 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,085 -It would stump Jonathan Swift. -[Scorsese] Yep. 274 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,839 The last sentence was, "Art installation." 275 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:22,844 So I get to this just at the same moment, I guess, as the guy standing next to me, 276 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,807 and he goes, "Art installation? What's that?" 277 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,717 I said, "I don't know, 278 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,597 but isn't that the thing that drives you the most crazy about the subway?" 279 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:35,192 "Don't you stand for hours, waiting for the train that never comes, 280 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,192 thinking, 'You know what's wrong? Not enough art.'" 281 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:42,815 William Wegman has installed some mosaics of dogs… 282 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,989 which I'm guessing I paid for. 283 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:51,253 So, I mean, these are cute, okay? But really? 284 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,330 Like, and this took five months? 285 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:54,964 And… 286 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:56,672 But that's it. 287 00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,302 In other words, the tiles-- the broken tiles are still there. 288 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,883 The original schmutz, still there. 289 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,684 The broken cement on the floor, still there. 290 00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,851 They didn't touch it. 291 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,179 So I think, "How could this take five months?" 292 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:12,175 And then you think about, you know, your contractor… 293 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,228 -[Scorsese] Yeah. -…who renovated your apartment. 294 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:17,361 They must have used him. This is why it took five months. 295 00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:20,819 You may love mosaics of dogs. You may not like them. 296 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,151 But no one, 297 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:26,116 I am certain that even William Wegman would say, 298 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,698 "Do you think this is essential to the lifeblood of New York 299 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:33,075 that we have these dogs in the subway station?" 300 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,213 I mean, it is not, you know? It's nice. 301 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,592 You know, there's certain things, like, you think, like, 302 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,839 "If we've taken care of every important thing, okay, let's do that." 303 00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,382 -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. -You know? But we haven't. 304 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,304 We've taken care of no important things. No. Let's do this other stuff first. 305 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,387 [Scorsese] Maybe they think it's for the spirit. 306 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:51,392 The spirit, yes. 307 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,773 But no one in the subway system has any spirit left. 308 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,561 -[both laughing] -Okay? They've beaten it out of us. 309 00:14:56,645 --> 00:15:00,065 Like, it would take one subway ride 310 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:04,029 for the Dalai Lama to turn into a lunatic, raging person, 311 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,281 yelling, "Who cares about this art in the subway station?" 312 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:08,374 [Scorsese laughing] 313 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,409 [1950s MTA narrator] To ensure the unequaled safety record 314 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,083 of the New York City Transit Authority, 315 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,883 the men of the system are perfectly trained for their jobs. 316 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,376 At the Transit Authority's testing facilities, 317 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,842 these men learn to drive in city streets 318 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,223 during heavy traffic and under difficult conditions. 319 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:33,058 Their skills are carefully evaluated by trained experts. 320 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:37,562 [Lebowitz] I think that if you're over 14, you don't have time to wait for the bus. 321 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:41,515 If you're eight or nine, you can think, "The bus is gonna take an hour and a half, 322 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,147 but I can waste that, because I'm nine. I have plenty of time to waste." 323 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:48,735 But if you're not nine, you think, "I'm really sorry, but I'm too old." 324 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,742 "I don't have time to waste waiting for the bus." 325 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:53,664 I'm one of these people that if I start waiting for the bus, 326 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,714 there are many people waiting, but while you're there 327 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,789 with what becomes a kind of community of people waiting for the bus. 328 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,297 Um, some people give up. 329 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,134 They just walk away. 330 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,514 Some people take cabs. 331 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:11,295 I'm a person who thinks, "I'm not leaving this investment." 332 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,097 -[Scorsese chuckles] -"I've already waited 25 minutes." 333 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,431 "If I leave, I'm gonna lose this 25 minutes." 334 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,017 "I'm never getting it back, let's face it." 335 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,475 Finally, the bus comes. 336 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,818 I asked the driver when I got on the bus, 337 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,649 "Can you please tell me," I said to him, 338 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,282 "what's the nearest stop to 27th Street?" 339 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,334 He said, "I don't know." 340 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:34,579 [Scorsese laughs] 341 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,580 So I said, "I'm sorry?" 342 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,415 "You don't know?" 343 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:43,462 I said, "You don't know what is the nearest stop to 27th Street?" 344 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:47,094 He said, "What do you expect? You expect me to memorize all the stops?" 345 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,302 [Scorsese laughs loudly] 346 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:52,553 I said, "Yes. Yes, I do!" 347 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,806 "I expect you to memorize all of the stops." 348 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:57,643 "Every single one!" 349 00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:02,018 He said, "There are a lot of stops." I said, "I expect you to memorize them." 350 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,194 -You're a bus driver! -[Scorsese laughing] 351 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,613 It's not like, "Oh, I understand. You're performing Richard III." 352 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,153 "That's so much to memorize." 353 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,656 "How could you do that and also memorize all the stops?" 354 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,029 "But you are a bus driver. That is your job!" 355 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:17,906 I said, "You have two things in your job. You have to drive the bus, okay?" 356 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,205 "Which I could do, okay?" 357 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,789 "And you have to memorize the stops, which I could do." 358 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,875 Okay, Richard III, no, I can't do that, but I could-- 359 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,921 How many stops are there? There's not 10,000 stops. 360 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:32,506 There's not a restaurant in New York where every waiter and waitress 361 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,143 in that restaurant can memorize 4,000 specials. 362 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,350 Sometimes I'm just agog. 363 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,720 -They tell you a million specials. -[Scorsese] It's amazing. 364 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,847 By the time they get to the end, I can't remember what's at the beginning. 365 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,055 And so you find yourself saying, "You said trout at one point." 366 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,187 And right away, they go right into it. 367 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,944 I think they should take all these waiters and waitresses, 368 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,907 most of whom think they are gonna do Richard III, but they're not, 369 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,118 and make them bus drivers, okay? 370 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,909 Because they obviously have fantastic memories. 371 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:01,163 They can memorize, and not that they just memorize the dishes, 372 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,706 -they memorize how they prepare it. -[Scorsese] Yes, exactly. 373 00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,791 "And it has cilantro, and it has this…" 374 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,916 And then, someone will say, "How much cilantro?" 375 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:09,513 I'm not one of those people. 376 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,838 But there are people that, you know, are very finicky. 377 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,506 "Um, where did you get the cilantro?" 378 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,385 I'm always thinking, "I'm never having dinner with you again." 379 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:23,523 -[Scorsese laughs] -Like, I don't even know what cilantro is. 380 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,272 It's tasty. I've tasted it. 381 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,814 Okay, good. Cilantro, fine. 382 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:30,277 Um, but,  [coughs] this is what it's like to take a bus. 383 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,860 [Scorsese] Well, the city is changing. 384 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,987 [Lebowitz] One of the ways you can tell is the lights are on in the building. 385 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:38,905 [Scorsese] Hmm. 386 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:42,502 [Lebowitz] Was it Roosevelt Island where the hospitals were? 387 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:43,709 [Scorsese] Yeah, right there. 388 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,249 -See that long stretch? -That's where the typhoid hospital was? 389 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,804 Yes, yes, tuberculosis and typhoid and all that. 390 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,628 They put them there. Yeah. 391 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,593 Someday, this will be yours. 392 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,434 I was gonna say. That was my line! 393 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,049 [both laughing] 394 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:01,556 -[Lebowitz] Do you see the plane? Where? -[Scorsese] It looks like a dragonfly. 395 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,980 -I don't see it. -Right there. 396 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,805 Landing. 397 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,689 -Where? -In the airport. 398 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,691 -Which is? -[Scorsese chuckles] 399 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,232 [Scorsese] So LaGuardia is right next to Rikers? 400 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,527 -[man] Yes. -Oh, my. 401 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,570 [Lebowitz] But it doesn't land at Rikers. 402 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,994 -Okay. -And if it did, the prisoners would go, 403 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,833 -"Delta. What do you think? No." -[Scorsese laughs] 404 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,659 -[Lebowitz] I see it. -Yeah. 405 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,464 -[Lebowitz] Is there only one plane? -Two planes. 406 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,369 [Lebowitz] Two. So it is like Delta. 407 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,535 Yeah. [Scorsese laughing] 408 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:32,796 "Where's the plane?" "Well, we only have two, so where are you going?" 409 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,470 "Well, you have to wait, because it has to go to 16 other cities first." 410 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,261 Now, where is the place in our society 411 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,314 where you least like to be in the presence of your fellow men? 412 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,349 Is there an environment that makes your skin crawl? 413 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,733 -Yes, a plane. -A plane? 414 00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:48,099 Yes, I can't believe they let all these people on the plane. 415 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,057 [audience laughs] 416 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,016 Why is it so horrible on the plane? It's the other passengers. 417 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,317 How has air travel changed in your lifetime? 418 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,531 Well, when I first started flying, 419 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,452 I was not a child, by the way. I was an adult when I started. 420 00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,411 -It was very luxurious to fly. -Of course. 421 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:05,291 You know, it was really luxurious. I know that sounds impossible. 422 00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:09,500 But the reason for this was because airlines were regulated, 423 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,793 and the regulation was they could not compete on price. 424 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,208 So all plane tickets were the same price. 425 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,507 New York to LA was the same price on any airline, 426 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:21,051 which is why, if you missed your plane, another airline would take your ticket, 427 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,046 no problem. 428 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:25,717 Uh, and so they had to compete on service. 429 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:28,767 So there were advertisements for airlines that said, like, 430 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:33,112 "We have steak, lobster, a piano bar. We have a stripper. We have a lounge." 431 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,070 But, no kidding, how many people here 432 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:38,070 flew on the old Pan Am before they went out of business? 433 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:41,663 I flew the old flight to the West Coast and went to San Francisco. 434 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,410 Clipper of the Skies, it was called. 435 00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,582 [Pan Am narrator] A new concept in air transportation. 436 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,082 The travail has been taken out of travel. 437 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,634 This is the atmosphere on a jet clipper flight. 438 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,972 Delicious food adds to the enjoyment. 439 00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,178 It's prepared in four simultaneously operating galleys 440 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,640 where dishes can be cooked in five-minute ovens. 441 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:09,393 [Lebowitz] Recently, three women in their fifties 442 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,516 were arrested on a plane some place upstate. 443 00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,904 Uh, one was a lawyer. One was a doctor. 444 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:17,112 One was a real estate broker or something. 445 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,112 They were together. One got in a fight with the flight attendant. 446 00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:22,855 The others chimed in, and they were taken away in handcuffs. 447 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,568 A friend said, "Isn't that amazing, 448 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,078 that people that age would be thrown off an airplane?" 449 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,370 And I said, "It's only people that age that get thrown off an airplane, 450 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:33,915 because we're the only people that remember when it was great to fly." 451 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,551 So when they say to us, "Don't put that there," 452 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,878 you say, "Are you kidding me? Where's my lobster?" 453 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,554 [audience laughing] 454 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:44,432 Whereas the people who are 20, they've always known it to be a sordid experience. 455 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:47,681 -A flying bus. -A horrible, sordid experience. 456 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:52,353 I mean, why should it take, you know, six hours to go to LA? 457 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,855 If they let the Concorde go to LA, you wouldn't have to stay overnight. 458 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,150 -[Scorsese laughs] -That is an important national goal, 459 00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,534 as far as I'm concerned. 460 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:03,780 If I was the president, I'd say, "We have an important national goal here. 461 00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:07,164 We are gonna make it possible so you can go to LA from New York 462 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,372 and not stay overnight." 463 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,622 -[Scorsese] Have a meeting. Come back. -You don't have to stay overnight. 464 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:15,495 I was in the lobby with luggage at, like, 6:00 a.m. to catch a plane, 465 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:17,714 and someone in my building, 466 00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:19,764 I mean, a neighbor, who-- 467 00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:22,588 Some people, at 6:00 a.m., they're coming back from the gym. 468 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,684 -[Scorsese laughs] -Well, that's why they have money. 469 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,141 On the other hand, you call that a life? 470 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:31,021 Okay? At 6:00 a.m., they're coming back from the gym! 471 00:22:31,099 --> 00:22:34,349 Okay, so they'll say, "Fran, are you going on vacation?" 472 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,226 And I think, "Are you insane?" 473 00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:38,323 -[Scorsese laughs] -So I said, "No." 474 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,978 "Vacation? No." 475 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:42,237 "Oh, where are you going?" 476 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:45,699 I don't remember where I was going. I said, "No, I do these speaking dates." 477 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,565 "No, I'm going to work." 478 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,580 I-- If you see me with luggage in the lobby, 479 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:54,826 -I'm going to make money, okay? -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 480 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:59,245 I'm not going to spend it. I spend it here. Here's where I spend it. 481 00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,796 I go, I get on the plane. I go to these places. I make money. 482 00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:05,091 The money comes back. I give it to the building. 483 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,545 I stay in the building. 484 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:11,555 You know, it's like the money that I earn, I do, so I have this home. 485 00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,940 Okay? I have to keep going out so I can stay here. 486 00:23:15,018 --> 00:23:19,358 But as far as wanting to go places, I can't believe people do it for fun. 487 00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:22,819 When I'm in airports and I see that there are people going on vacations, 488 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,821 I think, "How horrible could your life be?" 489 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,780 -Like, how bad is your regular life… -[Scorsese laughing] 490 00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,994 …that you think, "You know what'd be fun?" 491 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:33,535 "Let's get the kids, go to the airport, 492 00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:36,250 you know, with thousands of pieces of luggage, 493 00:23:36,331 --> 00:23:37,621 stand in these lines, 494 00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:39,457 be yelled at by a bunch of morons, 495 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:42,093 leave late, be squished all together." 496 00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:44,340 "And this is better than our actual life." 497 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:47,132 ["Ca Plane Pour Moi" by Plastic Bertrand playing] 498 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,137 [Scorsese] And action. 499 00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:51,098 One count, engaging in conspiracy to commit securities fraud. 500 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,216 Two counts, securities fraud. 501 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:56,643 One count, engaging in conspiracy to commit money laundering. 502 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,564 Twenty-one counts, money laundering. 503 00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:01,606 One count, obstruction of justice. 504 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,150 Bail is set at $10 million. 505 00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:16,617 [Lebowitz] Yes? 506 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:19,415 [woman in audience] What are your thoughts on electronic cigarettes? 507 00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:21,419 [Lebowitz, audience laughing] 508 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,921 Well, being on the set of your movie, 509 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,724 -when Leo walked into the courtroom… -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 510 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,717 …he was smoking a cigarette. 511 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:34,137 And I thought-- and we were in a real courthouse, okay? 512 00:24:34,222 --> 00:24:36,602 So I know that movie stars have a lot more latitude 513 00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,353 than people who are not movie stars, 514 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,605 but I thought, "They're letting him smoke in a real courthouse?" 515 00:24:41,688 --> 00:24:44,318 Then he got closer and closer, and I did not smell the smoke. 516 00:24:44,399 --> 00:24:47,689 I'm thinking, "If he can smoke a cigarette, I can smoke a cigarette." 517 00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:50,857 -[audience laughs] -So he was smoking an electronic cigarette 518 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:54,327 and then, during one of the breaks, 519 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,330 uh, he said to me, "Do-- Do you want one of these?" 520 00:24:58,413 --> 00:25:00,503 "Did you ever try one of these?" I said, "No." 521 00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:03,212 He said, "Let me give you one," which he did. 522 00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:07,093 He gave me one. He said, "Try it." I said, "I want a real cigarette." 523 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:10,972 He said, "Try it," so I pretended. I tried it. I said, "It's great." 524 00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,221 [audience laughs] 525 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:15,182 So he gave it to me, and then I forgot about it. 526 00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,813 Uh, and then, I was on a plane, 527 00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:19,982 on my way to LA, 528 00:25:20,727 --> 00:25:23,937 and I was at that point where you think, "I'm gonna kill someone." 529 00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:25,692 [audience, Scorsese laughing] 530 00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:29,534 And then I remembered that I had this fake cigarette, 531 00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,781 which, by the way-- Oh! Leo told me, "You can't--" 532 00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:37,365 I said, "Can you smoke these on a plane?" It's the first thing I asked. 533 00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,832 He said, "No." I said, "On a regular commercial flight, 534 00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:41,043 you can't smoke these?" 535 00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,212 He said, "No." I said, "How do you know?" 536 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:45,418 "Did someone tell you that, or…?" 537 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,212 [audience laughing] 538 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:49,875 So he said, "No, I was on a commercial flight, 539 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,585 and they wouldn't let me smoke it." 540 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:54,335 So I think, "Well, if they wouldn't let him smoke it, 541 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:56,467 then I know you can't smoke them on a plane." 542 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,765 Um, although I did think, "Why?" 543 00:25:58,848 --> 00:26:01,138 Um, so I was on a plane, 544 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,136 not a commercial plane, but you couldn't smoke. 545 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,568 So I thought, "Oh! I have this cigarette that Leo gave me." 546 00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:08,688 So I used it on the plane, 547 00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:12,065 and it does take away that murderous edge. 548 00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:13,493 [audience laughing] 549 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,532 You know, where you think, on the one hand, 550 00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:18,485 it is very nice of this guy who owns a plane to give me a ride to LA. 551 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:20,577 On the other hand, why won't he let me smoke? 552 00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:21,542 [audience laughing] 553 00:26:21,621 --> 00:26:23,871 So I think they're not as good as real cigarettes, 554 00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:25,707 but they're better than no cigarettes. 555 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:27,962 And though you're not allowed to smoke them on a plane, 556 00:26:28,044 --> 00:26:30,594 if you do smoke them on a plane, no one notices. 557 00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:31,632 [audience laughs] 558 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:35,465 So you can smoke them on a plane. Especially in the bathroom. 559 00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,932 You can't smoke a real cigarette on the plane in the bathroom. 560 00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:40,433 The second you light it, something goes off in the cockpit, 561 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:42,055 and they come and yell at you. 562 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,142 [audience, Scorsese laughing] 563 00:26:46,646 --> 00:26:48,516 This is something I know for a fact. 564 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,990 [Scorsese] Warning. Smoking is injurious to health. 565 00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:59,197 Fran Lebowitz and Leonardo DiCaprio do not endorse the use of electronic cigarettes 566 00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:02,004 and are not liable in the event of accidents that may occur 567 00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:04,578 while using electronic cigarettes. 568 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:07,174 ["La Dolce Vita" (Finale) by Nino Rota playing] 569 00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:20,137 When you drove a cab, do you remember any fares from back then? 570 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:21,769 I really don't. 571 00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:24,558 You know, I do remember, um, 572 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:29,563 that a lot of people, uh, tried to tip me with joints. 573 00:27:30,106 --> 00:27:30,936 Okay. 574 00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:34,404 And, you know, they would be, like, young too 575 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,856 and so they would think that was a great thing to do. 576 00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:41,826 And I would say six or seven times, maybe more, you know, 577 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:44,830 people would, like, give me a joint. "And this is for you." 578 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,793 And I would say the same thing. I'd give it back. 579 00:27:46,873 --> 00:27:50,503 First, the one thing you did not want to have in the cab was drugs! 580 00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:52,245 Because you could be stopped by the cops! 581 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:56,677 And I also would yell at people for smoking pot in the cab. 582 00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:58,798 You were allowed to smoke in cabs, by the way. 583 00:27:58,885 --> 00:28:01,425 Because I thought, "We're gonna get stopped, 584 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,603 I'm gonna go to jail, 'cause you're smoking a joint." Um… 585 00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:09,313 And I would say, "Here's the thing. I don't want this in the car. 586 00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:12,186 And the other thing is I do this for money. 587 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,111 -[Scorsese] Hmm. -I'm driving this cab for money. 588 00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:18,453 It's not some sort of, like, you know, festival in here. 589 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:22,780 I'm doing this for money, and I cannot take this joint into a delicatessen 590 00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:24,827 -and pay for a sandwich with it. -[Scorsese] Mm. 591 00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:29,121 So, basically, this cab driving is a sandwich-buying enterprise for me, 592 00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:30,707 so take it." 593 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:32,092 I didn't want it in the cab. 594 00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:34,628 That was a really common thing that people tried. 595 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:36,013 People kept telling me then 596 00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:38,589 there was a woman cab driver, but I never saw her. 597 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:41,925 I always looked for her in the Belmore so someone would speak to me! 598 00:28:42,011 --> 00:28:43,471 But I never saw her.