1 00:00:10,364 --> 00:00:13,284 [Alfred Newman's "New York" playing] 2 00:00:22,209 --> 00:00:23,044 [woman 1] Yes? 3 00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:25,296 [woman 2] …of people in the street, does it bother you-- 4 00:00:25,379 --> 00:00:26,213 Yes. 5 00:00:26,297 --> 00:00:29,300 -[audience laughs] -[Fran laughs] 6 00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:33,137 [woman 2] …when people stop in the middle, in the flow of traffic, 7 00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,389 and look at their maps or… 8 00:00:36,098 --> 00:00:38,100 [audience laughs] 9 00:00:38,726 --> 00:00:41,145 Unfortunately, I'm not gonna have time to answer this. 10 00:00:41,228 --> 00:00:42,063 [laughs] 11 00:00:42,146 --> 00:00:45,858 Do people in the street bother me? Absolutely, they bother me. Here is why. 12 00:00:45,941 --> 00:00:49,528 I feel like I should write a manifesto. I used to be a writer. 13 00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:51,238 -Um… -[audience laughs] 14 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:53,574 That would… The title of which would be, 15 00:00:53,657 --> 00:00:56,744 and this is kind of an advisory to these people that you're talking about, 16 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,162 Pretend It's a City. 17 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,082 Okay? Pretend It's a City. 18 00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:05,377 I cannot stop for one second or stand in front of a place, smoking a cigarette, 19 00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:08,255 without ten people instantly asking me directions. 20 00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:10,674 And I'm surprised by this, because I always think, "Really?" 21 00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:12,218 "Do I look welcoming to you?" 22 00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:13,969 [audience laughs] 23 00:01:14,053 --> 00:01:18,182 [Alfred Newman's "Street Scene" playing] 24 00:01:30,402 --> 00:01:32,947 [Fran] There are a lot of things on the ground in New York. 25 00:01:33,823 --> 00:01:38,160 You know, there are a lot of crosswalks, not that anyone obeys them except me. 26 00:01:38,244 --> 00:01:40,496 I always yell at cars. "You're in the crosswalk!" 27 00:01:40,579 --> 00:01:41,455 [man chuckles] 28 00:01:41,539 --> 00:01:43,541 [Fran] You know, as if, like, they care. 29 00:01:46,377 --> 00:01:50,131 There's graffiti on the ground. There are ads on the ground. 30 00:01:52,091 --> 00:01:55,261 But there are numerous places in New York 31 00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:57,972 where there are plaques, like, laid into the ground. 32 00:01:58,055 --> 00:02:00,975 This is something that I just love, 33 00:02:01,058 --> 00:02:05,771 because it means that they are hoping that someone is gonna look at this. 34 00:02:05,855 --> 00:02:08,941 I don't think they did this thinking, "It's gonna just be Fran." 35 00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:11,694 "Everyone else is gonna be looking at their phone." 36 00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:13,779 "It's only gonna be Fran, but she's worth it." 37 00:02:13,863 --> 00:02:15,573 "Let's put all these plaques for her." 38 00:02:15,656 --> 00:02:18,534 ["Street Scene" continues] 39 00:02:23,497 --> 00:02:26,750 [Fran] Near the library, there are different plaques for writers. 40 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:31,964 And then there are some quotes from the writers. 41 00:02:32,756 --> 00:02:37,469 I think it's pretty optimistic to imagine people are gonna read the quotes. 42 00:02:42,808 --> 00:02:46,729 ["Qué Rico el Mambo" by Pérez Prado playing] 43 00:02:46,812 --> 00:02:48,564 [Fran] Yes? In the back. 44 00:02:48,647 --> 00:02:51,650 [man] Hey, Fran. Uh, I actually never heard of you before. 45 00:02:51,734 --> 00:02:54,945 -That's a good way to break the ice. -[audience laughs] 46 00:02:59,742 --> 00:03:00,618 [Fran] Yes? 47 00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,578 [woman] How would you describe your lifestyle? 48 00:03:02,661 --> 00:03:04,246 [Fran] How would I describe my lifestyle? 49 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:06,707 Let me I assure you, I would never use the word "lifestyle." 50 00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:09,960 [audience laughs, applauds] 51 00:03:10,044 --> 00:03:10,878 [man] Bravo. 52 00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:13,130 [Fran] That's pretty much how I would describe it. 53 00:03:13,214 --> 00:03:15,216 [mambo music continues] 54 00:03:20,679 --> 00:03:22,431 [woman] What's keeping you in New York? 55 00:03:22,514 --> 00:03:24,850 [Fran] People often ask me, "Why are you still here?" 56 00:03:24,934 --> 00:03:27,895 -Like, okay, where would you suggest? -[audience laughs] 57 00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:30,147 Okay, so here's the thing. 58 00:03:30,231 --> 00:03:33,692 If there was another place that I could think of, I would have gone there. 59 00:03:35,069 --> 00:03:36,153 [man] Here you are. 60 00:03:37,154 --> 00:03:39,657 [Martin] Okay. What do you think? This is it. 61 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,533 -[man] Fine. -[Martin] Let's do it. 62 00:03:41,617 --> 00:03:43,619 [dishes breaking] 63 00:03:44,662 --> 00:03:46,372 -[Martin] There you go. -[man 2] God. Sorry. 64 00:03:46,455 --> 00:03:48,958 [Martin] Do you remember, Fran, I said never have anybody shoot 65 00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:52,211 -in your car or your apartment. -You told me after they ruined my car. 66 00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:54,505 -[Martin laughs] -When I complained about the car. 67 00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:57,258 [mambo music ends] 68 00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:08,769 [vehicles honking] 69 00:04:16,402 --> 00:04:20,406 -[siren wailing] -[vehicles honking] 70 00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:24,827 -[car alarm blaring] -[machinery whirring] 71 00:04:27,454 --> 00:04:29,456 [cash register dings] 72 00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:34,128 [Martin] Does complaining change anything? 73 00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:36,088 -[Fran] You mean, does it help? -[Martin] Yeah. 74 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:37,214 [Fran] Um… 75 00:04:37,298 --> 00:04:41,677 You mean, if I complain about the things I complain about, will they change? 76 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,594 [Martin] Yeah. 77 00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:45,764 Not so far. I mean, of course, I'm a young woman. 78 00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:48,267 I once met a psychiatrist at a party, 79 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,812 and I said to him… [clicks tongue] 80 00:04:52,813 --> 00:04:55,482 …"I cannot think of a more boring job than being a psychiatrist." 81 00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:58,235 And he said, "You have no idea 82 00:04:58,944 --> 00:05:02,323 what it is like to go to school for 14 years 83 00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:05,576 and sit all day long and listen to people complain about noise." 84 00:05:05,659 --> 00:05:06,994 [both laugh] 85 00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:10,581 So, apparently, that's what it's like being a psychiatrist in New York. 86 00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:14,626 Everywhere else in the country, people are talking about their mother, husband. 87 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:18,172 No, in New York, noise. They go in. It's like $500. 88 00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,257 They sit there and complain about noise. 89 00:05:20,341 --> 00:05:22,926 New York is never boring. 90 00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:26,305 In other words, if I'm sitting somewhere waiting for something, 91 00:05:26,388 --> 00:05:28,432 like, say, oh, I don't know, a subway, 92 00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:33,145 or if I'm sitting on the subway waiting for the subway to, I don't know, leave, 93 00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:34,605 -um… -[Martin chuckles] 94 00:05:34,688 --> 00:05:36,065 Most people are on their phones. 95 00:05:36,148 --> 00:05:39,318 A few people are reading, but that's never been me. You know? 96 00:05:39,401 --> 00:05:43,322 I'm sitting there, and I am just looking at my fellow man. 97 00:05:43,906 --> 00:05:47,493 And this is, most of the time, excessively interesting. 98 00:05:47,993 --> 00:05:48,994 Too interesting. 99 00:05:49,078 --> 00:05:50,871 This is what you see in streets of New York. 100 00:05:50,954 --> 00:05:52,706 Not just people walking and texting 101 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:56,752 or standing in the middle of the sidewalk when I'm trying to get through. Um… 102 00:05:56,835 --> 00:06:01,048 but you also see people doing things that I know would never have occurred to me. 103 00:06:01,131 --> 00:06:04,051 In other words, I don't have a phone, so I've never texted, 104 00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:07,221 but I firmly believe that if I did have a phone and I did text, 105 00:06:07,304 --> 00:06:09,890 it would never have occurred to me to do this whilst walking. 106 00:06:09,973 --> 00:06:12,559 A few months ago… I haven't seen this numerous times, 107 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:15,729 but this particular combination of things stood out in my mind. 108 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:19,566 I saw a kid riding a bike down Seventh Avenue. 109 00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,569 He was, with one hand, texting, 110 00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:24,863 with the other hand, eating a piece of pizza, 111 00:06:24,947 --> 00:06:27,491 -and was driving the bike with his elbows. -Ooh. 112 00:06:27,574 --> 00:06:28,992 He had his elbows on the thing. 113 00:06:29,076 --> 00:06:31,120 And of course, I… Of course he almost ran me over. 114 00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:33,622 Not that he noticed. That's why I noticed him. 115 00:06:33,705 --> 00:06:37,918 And I thought, "I am a person who believes, every day, 116 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:41,004 I have a very high chance of being killed crossing the street." 117 00:06:41,088 --> 00:06:44,341 "This is a person who believes nothing will ever happen to him." 118 00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:47,553 If you took away the texting and the pizza, I still wouldn't-- 119 00:06:47,636 --> 00:06:50,389 -And the elbows used to ride the bike. -[Martin laughs] 120 00:06:50,472 --> 00:06:52,558 If you gave me a bike, and I had nothing in my hands, 121 00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:55,686 and I had my hands on the handlebars, I wouldn't ride a bike on Seventh Avenue. 122 00:06:55,769 --> 00:06:58,772 I know how to ride a bike. Okay? So I wouldn't do that. 123 00:06:58,856 --> 00:06:59,940 All these things, 124 00:07:00,023 --> 00:07:03,902 and it's an astonishment to me that, every day, tens of thousands of people 125 00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:05,737 aren't slaughtered in the streets of New York. 126 00:07:05,821 --> 00:07:07,614 -[Martin] Yeah. -I don't know why this happens. 127 00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:10,951 It is an amazing thing, because there are millions of people. 128 00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:14,037 Uh-- The only person looking where she's going is me. 129 00:07:14,538 --> 00:07:18,709 I am the one person in the whole city who is watching where I'm going. 130 00:07:18,792 --> 00:07:22,796 One of the worst things, you know… There's many things that are horrible, 131 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,675 but one of the worst things is how New Yorkers have forgotten how to walk. 132 00:07:27,217 --> 00:07:28,177 -[Martin] Mm. -Okay? 133 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:30,387 One of the great things about New York used to be, 134 00:07:30,471 --> 00:07:33,974 yes, there were a billion awful people in the street, but there was… 135 00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:37,102 Every single person in the street knew that, 136 00:07:37,186 --> 00:07:39,313 as you're walking toward other people, 137 00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:41,440 you move a little bit, they move a little bit. 138 00:07:41,523 --> 00:07:42,566 -That's right. -Okay? 139 00:07:42,649 --> 00:07:45,277 That's why everyone was still alive at the end of the day. 140 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,237 [laughing] 141 00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:53,076 Now, people don't do it. 142 00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:55,537 Okay, so what I do now… 143 00:07:55,621 --> 00:07:58,916 They don't do it because either they're on their phones 144 00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:02,211 -or because they live in a world of one. -Mm-hmm. 145 00:08:02,294 --> 00:08:06,590 And sometimes… I bumped into someone because they were not paying attention, 146 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:08,759 and I thought, "I'm gonna let 'em walk right into me." 147 00:08:08,842 --> 00:08:11,929 Um, and they looked up, like, annoyed, and I said, 148 00:08:12,012 --> 00:08:14,431 "Other people in a hotel lobby. Isn't that astonishing?" 149 00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,767 -[Martin laughs] -Like, you know, what… 150 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,269 And that's why I feel like, pretend it's a city, 151 00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:22,064 you know, where there are other people. 152 00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:26,485 And pretend it's a city where there are people who are not here just sightseeing. 153 00:08:26,568 --> 00:08:30,572 -[Martin] Mm. Yeah. -You know? Who have to go places. 154 00:08:30,656 --> 00:08:33,867 To their appointments, so they can pay for all this junk that you come to see. 155 00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:35,285 [Martin laughs] 156 00:08:35,369 --> 00:08:38,622 [Richard Rodgers's "Carousel Waltz" playing] 157 00:08:42,459 --> 00:08:45,420 [Fran] That neighborhood is horrible. Times Square, the worst neighborhood. 158 00:08:45,504 --> 00:08:47,631 But you rarely have to go to Times Square. 159 00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:51,552 So if you have to go to Times Square, usually because you have to see a play, 160 00:08:51,635 --> 00:08:55,389 you think, like, "I have to go see the play, and it's in Times Square, 161 00:08:55,472 --> 00:08:59,142 and so I'm gonna try to arrive at the theater 162 00:08:59,226 --> 00:09:02,187 without having gotten into 75 fights with people, because…" 163 00:09:02,271 --> 00:09:04,356 Sometimes I will, like, figure out, 164 00:09:04,439 --> 00:09:06,191 if I have to go to a theater in Times Square, 165 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,986 how can I get there walking through Times Square the least? 166 00:09:09,069 --> 00:09:12,322 And I will do this even if it means walking all the way around. 167 00:09:12,406 --> 00:09:16,493 I think, "Let's see. What if I walked up to 125th Street, then all the way down?" 168 00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:20,372 "Then I can pretty much miss this. That's long, but it would be worth it." 169 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,919 [soft orchestral music continues] 170 00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:31,800 The opening of Phantom of the Opera was a big benefit, an AIDS benefit, 171 00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:37,639 and I was on the committee of this, but I don't remember what thing it was. 172 00:09:37,764 --> 00:09:41,268 Um, so I had these tickets to the opening of it, 173 00:09:41,351 --> 00:09:43,770 and so I invited my mother to come. 174 00:09:44,271 --> 00:09:47,190 And so we had these, like, you know, fantastic seats. 175 00:09:47,274 --> 00:09:50,027 What people think are. In the orchestra, in the middle. 176 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,779 My idea of a fantastic seat is in the back, on the aisle, 177 00:09:52,863 --> 00:09:54,656 -so you can get out, you know. -[Martin laughs] 178 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:58,535 So the second I get into the theater, I'm plotting to get out. Uh… 179 00:09:58,619 --> 00:10:02,414 And I must have been the only person in New York 180 00:10:02,497 --> 00:10:06,376 who had not been reading about this, you know, because it was such a big deal. 181 00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,712 So when the chandelier fell from the ceiling, 182 00:10:08,795 --> 00:10:10,422 I thought the chandelier was falling on us. 183 00:10:10,505 --> 00:10:13,759 -[Martin] Oh, Fran, no. Oh… -And I screamed. I created such… 184 00:10:13,842 --> 00:10:16,720 If there was internet then, you would still be able to see this. 185 00:10:16,803 --> 00:10:19,139 -[Martin] Didn't you see the movies? -I didn't. 186 00:10:19,222 --> 00:10:20,182 -I thought… -The whole-- 187 00:10:20,265 --> 00:10:21,767 -It goes right over. -Yeah. 188 00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:24,561 But my mother, of course, knew, 'cause she was like… 189 00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:28,440 My mother said, "This kid, she's always been a problem. She's still a problem." 190 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:31,318 And I was hysterical. 'Cause it came like this. 191 00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,028 I thought it was falling down. 192 00:10:33,111 --> 00:10:34,571 -[coughs] Um… -[Martin laughs] 193 00:10:35,113 --> 00:10:38,075 So that's mostly what I remember about Phantom of the Opera, 194 00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:40,994 except, like, thinking it was unbelievably horrible. 195 00:10:41,078 --> 00:10:43,580 You know, "This is unbelievably horrible." 196 00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:45,916 This is exactly the kind of thing that I hate. 197 00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:48,377 You know, um, it's like Evita. 198 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,922 Robert Stigwood, um, had this thing. 199 00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:55,258 Um, he in-- He was a producer of Evita. 200 00:10:55,342 --> 00:11:00,514 And he invited a few people, like 25 people, 201 00:11:00,597 --> 00:11:03,433 to the Plaza Hotel, which was still the Plaza Hotel then, 202 00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:05,852 not like now, which had a little theater in it. 203 00:11:06,436 --> 00:11:08,480 So I went to this, I saw this, 204 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:11,525 and afterwards, Stigwood asked me what I think, and I said, 205 00:11:11,608 --> 00:11:15,696 "Are you out of your mind? A musical about Eva Perón?" 206 00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:18,699 -"You'll be laughed out of New York!" -[Martin laughs] 207 00:11:18,782 --> 00:11:21,576 "Don't do it!" I said. 208 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:24,913 So this is why I would never make a lot of money in the theater. 209 00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:25,914 -[Martin] Exactly. -And… 210 00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:28,750 But from the point of view of a musical about Eva Perón, 211 00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:31,670 I was completely correct. I was completely correct. 212 00:11:31,753 --> 00:11:36,133 And then I went to see it one night with two guys who were Argentinian, 213 00:11:36,216 --> 00:11:40,262 and they were laughing so hard that we almost got kicked out of the theater. 214 00:11:40,345 --> 00:11:41,596 You know? Um… 215 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,682 -I think Evita's not playing anymore. -[Martin] Nah. 216 00:11:43,765 --> 00:11:45,100 But it did play for a long time. 217 00:11:45,183 --> 00:11:48,812 I'm sure that every time I saw Stigwood after that, I said, 218 00:11:50,272 --> 00:11:52,023 -"I still think I'm right." -[Martin laughs] 219 00:11:52,107 --> 00:11:54,484 You know? It was making like a million dollars a minute. 220 00:11:55,485 --> 00:11:57,821 [Martin] Do you tend to look down at people? 221 00:11:57,904 --> 00:12:00,657 [Fran] Do I tend to look down at people? You mean, am I a snob? 222 00:12:01,158 --> 00:12:04,119 There are certain kinds of snobberies that I think are bad. 223 00:12:04,202 --> 00:12:07,289 Of course, those are not the kind of snobberies I have. Okay? 224 00:12:07,372 --> 00:12:10,584 [chuckles] The kind of snobberies I have have nothing to do with, 225 00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:12,461 you know, "Who is your father?" 226 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:14,421 "Where'd you go to school? Where'd you grow up?" 227 00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:18,049 It has to do with, "Do you agree with me about this?" 228 00:12:18,842 --> 00:12:21,970 That's what it has to do with. Or, "You think that? No." 229 00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:25,474 Even though I know that people very frequently are very… 230 00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:28,435 Not irritated. It's too mild of a word. …infuriated by me. 231 00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:31,730 Um, it does somewhat surprise me, because so what? 232 00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:34,775 Like, who am I? Am I making decisions for you? 233 00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:36,943 I'm not in charge of anything. 234 00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:40,947 I understand being angry at me when I say things like, "People should do this," 235 00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:44,701 or, "This should happen," if people thought that I could change it. 236 00:12:44,785 --> 00:12:47,537 But if I could change it, I wouldn't be so angry. 237 00:12:47,996 --> 00:12:53,418 The anger is, I have no power, but I'm filled with opinions. 238 00:12:53,502 --> 00:12:57,130 [upbeat funk music plays] 239 00:12:57,214 --> 00:13:00,258 [woman 1] The subways are crummy, and they're dangerous. 240 00:13:01,051 --> 00:13:03,011 You get pushed. You get shoved. 241 00:13:03,094 --> 00:13:07,390 Sometimes, you get mugged in the subway during the daylight. 242 00:13:11,353 --> 00:13:12,521 [woman 2] I can remember 243 00:13:12,604 --> 00:13:16,066 when public transportation was one of the prides of New York. 244 00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:17,484 What happened? 245 00:13:18,568 --> 00:13:22,197 Is New York better or worse today than when you first arrived? 246 00:13:23,114 --> 00:13:26,159 Well, what you always hear about New York in the '70s was how horrible it was. 247 00:13:26,243 --> 00:13:28,245 -Right. -New York was going bankrupt. 248 00:13:28,328 --> 00:13:29,996 I had no idea this was happening. 249 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,331 -Right. -Okay? Because-- 250 00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:34,793 You were having fun. Seeing rats, shattered benches in the park, graffiti. 251 00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:37,254 -That was New York. -You were like, "I'm having a great time." 252 00:13:37,337 --> 00:13:39,297 -Because-- -"I'm drunk. I'm getting on that bus." 253 00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:41,800 "I don't care about graffiti. It's taking me where I wanna go." 254 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:44,970 That's what New York looked like when you got there. You thought that was NY. 255 00:13:45,053 --> 00:13:47,180 There are people who arrive here now and think, 256 00:13:47,264 --> 00:13:49,266 "New York, lawn chairs in Times Square." 257 00:13:49,349 --> 00:13:50,767 When they take them out, 258 00:13:50,851 --> 00:13:53,770 then people now will say, "What happened to the lawn chairs?" 259 00:13:53,854 --> 00:13:55,313 "That was the real New York." 260 00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:57,691 [horns honking] 261 00:14:00,026 --> 00:14:03,530 [Martin] Do you think they will still have the, uh, Times Square Café 262 00:14:03,613 --> 00:14:04,865 in the middle of the street? 263 00:14:04,948 --> 00:14:08,034 [Fran] I don't know if you're aware of this, Marty, because I know you've-- 264 00:14:08,118 --> 00:14:10,078 [Martin] No. I don't go down below 57, no. 265 00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:15,083 [Fran] All right, so up until, like, five minutes ago, 24 hours a day, 266 00:14:15,166 --> 00:14:19,546 they were repaving these, whatever they call them, these cement things. 267 00:14:19,629 --> 00:14:22,841 -[Martin] Islands. -Yes, in the middle of Times Square. 268 00:14:22,924 --> 00:14:25,844 And then right before he was thrown out of office, finally, 269 00:14:25,927 --> 00:14:31,725 I saw Bloomberg, uh, like, saying, "And now these are permanent!" 270 00:14:32,642 --> 00:14:35,270 And I thought, "Permanent? You hick." 271 00:14:35,353 --> 00:14:37,439 -What's permanent in New York? -[laughing] 272 00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:40,233 -[laughs] -Really? Permanent! They're not permanent. 273 00:14:40,317 --> 00:14:43,987 However, that's the day I found out… What did that cost? $40 million. 274 00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,739 -[Martin] Oh! -$40 million. 275 00:14:45,822 --> 00:14:47,824 It wasn't Bloomberg's treat either, by the way. 276 00:14:47,908 --> 00:14:51,369 -Okay? $40 million, taxpayer money. -[Martin laughs] 277 00:14:51,453 --> 00:14:56,791 $40 million for that. Okay? Because so many New Yorkers have said, 278 00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:59,878 "You know what I hate? Not enough places to lie down in Times Square." 279 00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:02,380 -[Martin] Oh, sure. Hate that. -[audience laughs] 280 00:15:02,464 --> 00:15:04,674 -"It's unbearable!" -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 281 00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:06,968 "We're leaving. We can't take it anymore." 282 00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:10,263 [Martin] Yeah, yeah. [laughs loudly] 283 00:15:10,347 --> 00:15:14,809 So the streets are completely packed 284 00:15:14,893 --> 00:15:18,104 with these horrible, I don't know what you'd call 'em, planters, 285 00:15:18,188 --> 00:15:21,566 with fake plants, or they may be real plants. I don't know what they are. 286 00:15:21,650 --> 00:15:25,654 Real plants, fake plants, I have no idea. What are plants doing in Times Square? 287 00:15:25,737 --> 00:15:27,113 [audience laughs] 288 00:15:27,197 --> 00:15:30,575 And not just Times Square. I mean, The Bowery. It's the whole city. 289 00:15:30,659 --> 00:15:34,955 They're all over the place. Plants, lawn chairs. You know, trinkets. 290 00:15:35,038 --> 00:15:37,457 Really, it looks like my grandmother's apartment. 291 00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:39,918 [Martin laughs] 292 00:15:41,086 --> 00:15:44,464 I mean, you expect to see little photographs of grandchildren and… 293 00:15:44,547 --> 00:15:45,924 [audience laughs] 294 00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:48,969 …little dishes of sour balls and… [chuckles] 295 00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:52,138 When New Yorkers hear about these budget cuts, 296 00:15:52,222 --> 00:15:55,183 they're gonna wanna know if New York City is going down the drain. 297 00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:58,853 -Is it safe to say that New York-- -New York City isn't going down the drain. 298 00:15:58,937 --> 00:16:02,440 Is it safe to say that New York City government will be less efficient, 299 00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:07,696 the streets dirtier, citizens will have less protection from fire and criminals? 300 00:16:07,779 --> 00:16:10,657 I said New York City is not going down the drain. 301 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,701 New York City is here to stay. 302 00:16:13,201 --> 00:16:15,495 And it's still the greatest city in the world 303 00:16:15,578 --> 00:16:18,164 and giving, even after this, 304 00:16:18,248 --> 00:16:23,461 more services than any city in the world to its people. 305 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:26,923 [Fran] I would really like to be like the Mayor of New York, 306 00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:29,676 but one of the bad things about mayoralty in New York, 307 00:16:29,759 --> 00:16:31,511 which is a really hard job… 308 00:16:31,594 --> 00:16:34,639 Mayor of New York is the second hardest job in the country. 309 00:16:34,723 --> 00:16:36,808 -It starts early in the morning. -[Martin] Mm. 310 00:16:36,891 --> 00:16:39,853 It should be split in two, and I would be the night mayor. 311 00:16:39,936 --> 00:16:41,312 [Martin laughs] 312 00:16:41,396 --> 00:16:43,940 I am volunteering for this. Someone else can be the day mayor. 313 00:16:44,024 --> 00:16:45,525 I'll be the night mayor. 314 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:50,071 Uh, you know, I'll start around 4:00 and I'll go all night if you want. 315 00:16:50,155 --> 00:16:54,159 I mean, the thing about New York is that a lot of things happen late at night. 316 00:16:54,659 --> 00:16:57,245 [man] What would you change about New York at night 317 00:16:57,328 --> 00:16:59,622 while, uh, the day mayor slept? 318 00:16:59,706 --> 00:17:02,917 The first thing I would change about New York, and not just me, 319 00:17:03,001 --> 00:17:04,085 is the subway system. 320 00:17:04,586 --> 00:17:07,797 Okay? This is the first thing I would change about New York. 321 00:17:07,881 --> 00:17:11,718 A few weeks ago, I turn on the radio, which I listen to. WNS News. 322 00:17:11,801 --> 00:17:15,680 And they said, "The L train…" which is a train that goes from Brooklyn, 323 00:17:15,764 --> 00:17:20,560 "The L train is closed today because there is a foul odor on the L train." 324 00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:24,314 This was all day long. Every ten minutes, they kept saying, 325 00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:27,108 "There's a horrible smell on the L train. It's closed." 326 00:17:27,192 --> 00:17:31,404 And I thought to myself, "The subway's closed because it smells horrible?" 327 00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,991 -What does that even mean? Okay? -[Martin laughs] 328 00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:39,162 Like, how much worse could it smell than it usually smells? 329 00:17:39,245 --> 00:17:41,831 Like, what could they… They don't know what this is. 330 00:17:41,915 --> 00:17:46,169 And I thought, "Who even noticed this?" In other words, the train smells horrible. 331 00:17:46,669 --> 00:17:50,715 Did someone say, "You know, the train smells even worse than usual"? 332 00:17:50,799 --> 00:17:53,176 I mean, they act like, "Before this, you know, 333 00:17:53,259 --> 00:17:55,970 the smell was wisteria, there was an alpine village." 334 00:17:56,054 --> 00:18:00,308 I thought… And all day long, "We can't find out what this smell is." 335 00:18:00,391 --> 00:18:03,520 And then as the day went on… Now the L train is closed for five hours. 336 00:18:03,603 --> 00:18:06,564 …they said, "Well…" They went down, whoever tests this, 337 00:18:06,648 --> 00:18:08,566 and said, "It doesn't smell as bad as it did." 338 00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:11,027 I thought, "Of course not. It's been empty for five hours." 339 00:18:11,111 --> 00:18:15,156 Let me tell you what smells horrible on the L train. The passengers! 340 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:16,449 -[Martin laughs] -Okay? 341 00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:20,411 Finally, they came down and said it was some kind of leaking motor oil. 342 00:18:20,495 --> 00:18:23,414 [Martin] There was a… There was a comment on the news, too, 343 00:18:23,498 --> 00:18:27,127 about the fact that they had tested it and it wasn't harmful. 344 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:29,546 No. It was the good motor oil they could smell. 345 00:18:29,629 --> 00:18:32,882 It's like, after September 11th, like one hour later, 346 00:18:32,966 --> 00:18:36,719 when Christine Whitman, who was at that time the head of the EPA, 347 00:18:36,803 --> 00:18:39,305 went there, and she said, "It's fine." 348 00:18:39,389 --> 00:18:40,723 -Yeah. -"The air is fine." 349 00:18:40,807 --> 00:18:43,351 I remember saying to people, "How could that possibly be?" 350 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,978 "Of course that's a lie." 351 00:18:45,061 --> 00:18:47,605 And that wasn't… I mean, George Bush was president, 352 00:18:47,689 --> 00:18:50,108 so we were accustomed to a certain kind of lying, 353 00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:52,110 but I said, "That's impossible." 354 00:18:52,193 --> 00:18:57,824 You know, you could smell what everyone called "the dust" for, like, 80 blocks. 355 00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:00,743 You know? And, uh… But she said it was fine. 356 00:19:00,827 --> 00:19:03,496 And now, of course, thousands of people are… 357 00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,248 -[Martin] People have cancer -Have cancer, 358 00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:08,084 because it wasn't dust, first of all, 359 00:19:08,168 --> 00:19:11,421 um, and it was not fine. 360 00:19:13,798 --> 00:19:16,968 [Martin] Isn't it nice to see the city so calm and… 361 00:19:17,051 --> 00:19:20,263 -[Fran] City's calm 'cause no one's in it. -[Martin laughs] 362 00:19:20,346 --> 00:19:23,349 [Fran] I mean, New York City this quiet? Something happened. 363 00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:27,478 I always remember, on September 11th, how quiet the city was. 364 00:19:27,562 --> 00:19:30,940 You know, I mean, after… If you didn't live right there. You know? 365 00:19:31,566 --> 00:19:34,068 The only other time I heard New York City that quiet… 366 00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:36,738 And I lived in Midtown. It was never quiet. 367 00:19:36,821 --> 00:19:39,824 …was when they were about to announce the OJ Simpson verdict. 368 00:19:39,908 --> 00:19:42,577 The entire city apparently was watching television, 369 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:45,413 and the entire city went dead silent… 370 00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:48,958 until they announced the verdict. 371 00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:51,377 [man] What was the other thing? 372 00:19:51,461 --> 00:19:54,088 [Martin] The other thing was the rubber suit Godzilla 373 00:19:54,172 --> 00:19:56,966 that we were gonna do. Okay. [laughs] 374 00:19:57,050 --> 00:20:00,220 You know, Ishirō Honda! We're gonna step all over the city. 375 00:20:00,303 --> 00:20:02,931 Right, you stroll down the, uh… Is that the Hudson? 376 00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:06,100 That's the East River. Okay. Yeah. So if anything strikes you… 377 00:20:06,184 --> 00:20:10,730 I'm more worried that I will strike something than anything will strike me. 378 00:20:11,606 --> 00:20:14,442 [Martin] Is there a difference between this model's representation 379 00:20:14,525 --> 00:20:16,861 of New York as it is now? Is there anything… 380 00:20:16,945 --> 00:20:19,822 [Fran] When I was first here, which was not that long ago, 381 00:20:19,906 --> 00:20:23,952 I looked for my building where I live, which, at the time this was built, 382 00:20:24,035 --> 00:20:26,788 the building I live in was three warehouses 383 00:20:26,871 --> 00:20:30,041 made into an apartment building, and I managed to locate them. 384 00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:32,502 You know, and you feel what you always feel. 385 00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:35,296 -I should've bought a ten. You know? -[Martin laughs] 386 00:20:36,589 --> 00:20:40,260 I was trying to convince a friend's daughter to move back to New York from LA. 387 00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:43,346 She said, "I want to move back to New York, but I can't afford it." 388 00:20:43,429 --> 00:20:45,848 So I said, "Move back to New York. Let me tell you something." 389 00:20:45,932 --> 00:20:48,351 -"No one can afford to live in New York." -[Martin] Right. 390 00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:52,397 No one can afford to live in New York. Yet, eight million people do. 391 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,357 [Martin, audience laugh] 392 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,734 How do we do this? We don't know! 393 00:20:56,818 --> 00:20:58,319 [Martin laughs] We don't know. 394 00:20:58,403 --> 00:20:59,737 It's a mystery to us. 395 00:20:59,821 --> 00:21:01,823 [audience laughing] 396 00:21:03,074 --> 00:21:04,242 We don't have a clue. 397 00:21:05,368 --> 00:21:08,871 And that's just it too. We don't know, but we're still here. 398 00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:13,376 So you can come here without knowing how you're gonna live here, 399 00:21:13,459 --> 00:21:16,796 and somehow you will do enough things to live here. 400 00:21:17,380 --> 00:21:18,756 It's as simple as that. 401 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,466 -[audience applauding] -Okay. 402 00:21:21,509 --> 00:21:23,052 When you leave New York 403 00:21:23,136 --> 00:21:25,930 or even if you stay for a little while somewhere else, 404 00:21:26,014 --> 00:21:28,349 you just can't get over the ease of daily life. 405 00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:33,229 Like, you know, first, you move to an apartment, you think, 406 00:21:33,313 --> 00:21:36,858 "Ugh! Where's the dry cleaner? Am I gonna ever find a dry cleaner?" 407 00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:39,944 Sometimes you never find one. Sometimes there isn't one! 408 00:21:40,028 --> 00:21:41,446 Or sometimes you go and… 409 00:21:41,529 --> 00:21:45,116 I know it's gonna be three months before I have such a fight, 410 00:21:45,199 --> 00:21:47,452 -I won't be able to go in here ever again. -[Martin laughs] 411 00:21:47,535 --> 00:21:49,829 Then you think, there are people who live in places 412 00:21:49,912 --> 00:21:53,833 where they just take the dry cleaning, they go to the dry cleaner. 413 00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:56,044 It's like a little errand. 414 00:21:56,794 --> 00:22:00,757 But everything in New York is like the Ring Cycle. 415 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,760 You know, everything in New York is an operatic thing. 416 00:22:03,843 --> 00:22:05,428 It's… It's incredible problems. 417 00:22:05,511 --> 00:22:09,849 So you realize that it's just so hard to live in New York 418 00:22:09,932 --> 00:22:13,061 that when people say, "Why do you live in New York?" 419 00:22:13,144 --> 00:22:14,771 you really can't answer them, 420 00:22:14,854 --> 00:22:19,317 except you know that you have contempt for people who don't have guts to do it. 421 00:22:19,817 --> 00:22:22,820 "You live in a place where things are just easily done, 422 00:22:22,904 --> 00:22:25,073 where people are nice to you, 423 00:22:25,156 --> 00:22:27,575 where no one's trying to cheat you every five seconds." 424 00:22:27,658 --> 00:22:29,452 "You call that grown-up life?" 425 00:22:29,535 --> 00:22:30,787 [Martin laughs] 426 00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:34,832 The surprising thing to me is how many people who are in their twenties now 427 00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:37,001 come up to me in the street and say, 428 00:22:37,085 --> 00:22:39,754 "Fran, I wish that I'd lived in New York in the '70s." 429 00:22:39,837 --> 00:22:41,547 "It seems like it was so much fun." 430 00:22:41,631 --> 00:22:43,466 Now, there's one thing I know for a fact, 431 00:22:43,549 --> 00:22:46,928 that when I was in my twenties, I wasn't going up to people my age, 432 00:22:47,011 --> 00:22:48,971 saying, "I wish I'd lived in New York in the '30s." 433 00:22:49,055 --> 00:22:50,139 I never thought that. 434 00:22:50,223 --> 00:22:52,433 -[Martin laughs] -So, you know… So, like, 435 00:22:52,517 --> 00:22:54,894 since they know that I was here then, 436 00:22:54,977 --> 00:22:57,230 um, I'm like an eyewitness to this. 437 00:22:57,313 --> 00:23:00,358 It's like, I guess, if you were a Civil War buff, you know, 438 00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:04,445 and you saw Abraham Lincoln, you would think, "Oh! He was there. Let me ask him." 439 00:23:04,529 --> 00:23:05,613 [woman speaks indistinctly] 440 00:23:05,696 --> 00:23:08,699 [man 1] If you don't have reservations, please wait outside. 441 00:23:08,783 --> 00:23:13,955 [man 2] We're gonna do a song now about a boy in New York City. 442 00:23:14,038 --> 00:23:16,916 ["Jet Boy" by New York Dolls plays] 443 00:23:16,999 --> 00:23:20,753 [Fran] Most of the people I knew who were financially more like me, 444 00:23:20,837 --> 00:23:22,630 heat was a very big issue. 445 00:23:22,713 --> 00:23:23,840 We discussed it a lot. 446 00:23:23,923 --> 00:23:26,884 And I would go to Max's, and I would pick people up, 447 00:23:26,968 --> 00:23:29,887 -but, before, asking, "Do you have heat?" -[Martin laughs] 448 00:23:29,971 --> 00:23:32,890 And that would be something I found incredibly alluring. 449 00:23:32,974 --> 00:23:35,726 All of a sudden, the person turned into a young Brigitte Bardot. 450 00:23:35,810 --> 00:23:38,271 "You have heat? Let's go." 451 00:23:38,354 --> 00:23:41,107 ♪ Who's so fly up in the sky ♪ 452 00:23:41,190 --> 00:23:44,068 ♪ Faster than any boy Could ever describe? ♪ 453 00:23:44,152 --> 00:23:46,487 ♪ Who has got a love so deep ♪ 454 00:23:46,571 --> 00:23:48,656 ♪ With everything alive? ♪ 455 00:23:48,739 --> 00:23:50,825 ♪ I said Jet Boy's fly ♪ 456 00:23:50,908 --> 00:23:51,951 ♪ Jet Boy's gone ♪ 457 00:23:52,535 --> 00:23:55,037 ♪ Jet Boy stole my baby ♪ 458 00:23:55,121 --> 00:23:57,915 ♪ Flyin' around New York City so high ♪ 459 00:23:57,999 --> 00:24:01,711 ♪ Like he was my baby ♪ 460 00:24:01,794 --> 00:24:04,046 [Fran] The New York Dolls, they were great, 461 00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:05,506 and so few people saw them. 462 00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:08,092 They used to perform at the Mercer Arts Center, which one day… 463 00:24:08,176 --> 00:24:10,219 [building crashes] 464 00:24:10,303 --> 00:24:12,472 …just fell down. That's how New York used to be. 465 00:24:12,555 --> 00:24:15,641 The Mercer Arts Center, we went all the time to see the Dolls, 466 00:24:15,725 --> 00:24:17,685 and other people, but especially the Dolls. 467 00:24:17,768 --> 00:24:21,105 Um, and then, one day, it just fell down. 468 00:24:21,189 --> 00:24:23,858 -[Martin] Mm-hmm. -[Fran] The building just fell down. 469 00:24:23,941 --> 00:24:25,526 That was the level of neglect. 470 00:24:25,610 --> 00:24:28,362 When people said, "Did you hear the Mercer Arts Center fell down?" 471 00:24:28,446 --> 00:24:31,199 No one said, "What are you talking about?" "Oh, it fell down." 472 00:24:31,282 --> 00:24:34,660 [Martin] That was the third… There were three buildings that fell down that year. 473 00:24:34,744 --> 00:24:36,579 They fell down because no one took care of them. 474 00:24:36,662 --> 00:24:38,414 -[Martin] Nobody did. -I mean, so… 475 00:24:38,498 --> 00:24:41,167 It was just the way it was. I never thought about it. 476 00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:43,085 There were numerous things I was thinking about, 477 00:24:43,169 --> 00:24:44,795 but New York getting better was not one. 478 00:24:44,879 --> 00:24:47,048 New York was great. That's why I came here! 479 00:24:47,131 --> 00:24:49,884 But, you know, I didn't come here 'cause it was clean. 480 00:24:50,718 --> 00:24:52,053 I came from a clean place. 481 00:24:52,136 --> 00:24:55,389 I didn't think, "Ah, I want to go to New York. It's so spotless." 482 00:24:55,473 --> 00:24:58,518 I didn't come here 'cause it was safe. I came from a safe place. 483 00:24:58,601 --> 00:25:00,269 I didn't come 'cause it was dangerous. 484 00:25:00,353 --> 00:25:04,065 I wasn't happy to be, you know, in danger, but I quickly acclimated. 485 00:25:04,148 --> 00:25:06,609 I have all the habits that I had in the '70s. 486 00:25:06,692 --> 00:25:08,486 For instance, I sit on the subway, 487 00:25:08,569 --> 00:25:11,239 I see people put their bag next to them and they leave it there. 488 00:25:11,322 --> 00:25:13,824 I think, "Are you out of your mind?" It makes me want to steal it. 489 00:25:13,908 --> 00:25:14,867 [Martin laughs] Yeah. 490 00:25:14,951 --> 00:25:21,249 You know, no matter what I'm holding… Really, it could be a pencil. 491 00:25:21,332 --> 00:25:24,418 I have a death grip on it. "You're not getting this pencil from me." 492 00:25:24,502 --> 00:25:25,503 [audience laughs] 493 00:25:25,586 --> 00:25:28,673 Like, I would never leave anything next to me. Never! 494 00:25:29,674 --> 00:25:33,135 And not because I think people might think it was a bomb, 495 00:25:33,219 --> 00:25:35,471 but because someone's gonna take it! Of course they will. 496 00:25:35,555 --> 00:25:37,473 -[Martin] I've seen it. -That's what happens. 497 00:25:37,557 --> 00:25:40,768 I mean, in 1971 or something like that, 498 00:25:40,851 --> 00:25:44,814 someone broke the windshield of my car, 499 00:25:44,897 --> 00:25:47,066 which I still had my car from high school, 500 00:25:47,149 --> 00:25:50,528 um, and took, from the dashboard, 501 00:25:50,611 --> 00:25:53,948 an apple and a pack of cigarettes that was on the dashboard. 502 00:25:54,031 --> 00:25:56,867 Um, a pack of cigarettes then cost 50 cents. 503 00:25:57,368 --> 00:26:00,121 Uh… An apple, one apple, ten cents. 504 00:26:01,581 --> 00:26:02,957 I call the police. 505 00:26:03,499 --> 00:26:05,876 I call them over, they were still on the street then, 506 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:06,836 I said, "Look." 507 00:26:06,919 --> 00:26:11,507 "Someone smashed my windshield and took from my dashboard." 508 00:26:11,591 --> 00:26:13,467 The cop goes, "What did they steal?" 509 00:26:13,551 --> 00:26:16,053 So I said, "I had an apple, a pack of cigarettes." 510 00:26:16,137 --> 00:26:18,180 And he goes, "Well, what do you expect?" 511 00:26:18,264 --> 00:26:21,058 [audience laughing] 512 00:26:21,142 --> 00:26:22,393 [Fran laughs] 513 00:26:22,476 --> 00:26:24,604 "I mean, if you leave these valuable things 514 00:26:24,687 --> 00:26:28,274 in full view of people, they're gonna break the windshield of your car!" 515 00:26:28,357 --> 00:26:29,734 "Who wouldn't do that?" 516 00:26:30,234 --> 00:26:31,611 "What are you, a moron?" 517 00:26:31,694 --> 00:26:34,363 [Martin, audience laughing] 518 00:26:37,074 --> 00:26:39,702 So, since he had a point, I didn't argue with him. 519 00:26:40,786 --> 00:26:42,997 I realized, "Yeah, well, what do you expect?" 520 00:26:43,706 --> 00:26:46,459 Apparently, there was that headline that said, you know, 521 00:26:47,335 --> 00:26:50,129 "President to New York: Go to hell," or whatever it was. 522 00:26:50,212 --> 00:26:52,882 -"Ford to New York: Drop dead." -"Ford to New York: Drop dead." 523 00:26:52,965 --> 00:26:54,216 Meanwhile, who's dead? 524 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:56,302 Yeah. [laughs] 525 00:26:56,385 --> 00:26:59,805 ["New York's My Home" by Ray Charles playing] 526 00:27:08,814 --> 00:27:11,776 ♪ Listen all you New Yorkers There's a rumor going around ♪ 527 00:27:11,859 --> 00:27:14,528 ♪ That some of you good people Want to leave this town 528 00:27:14,612 --> 00:27:17,573 ♪ But you better consult with me Before you go ♪ 529 00:27:17,657 --> 00:27:18,699 [woman] Why? 530 00:27:18,783 --> 00:27:23,287 ♪ 'Cause I've been all these places And I know ♪ 531 00:27:23,371 --> 00:27:24,830 [woman] What about Hollywood? 532 00:27:24,914 --> 00:27:26,832 ♪ Hollywood's got movie stars ♪ 533 00:27:26,916 --> 00:27:30,503 ♪ And movie czars and cocktail bars And shiny cars ♪ 534 00:27:30,586 --> 00:27:34,465 ♪ And a wonderful climate they say ♪ 535 00:27:35,633 --> 00:27:39,512 ♪ But it hasn't got The handy subway train ♪ 536 00:27:39,595 --> 00:27:42,598 ♪ You seldom find a taxi when it rains ♪ 537 00:27:42,682 --> 00:27:45,476 ♪ That's why New York's my home ♪ 538 00:27:45,559 --> 00:27:49,563 ♪ Keep your California New York's my home sweet home ♪ 539 00:27:50,564 --> 00:27:53,984 I also feel that, even though New York is not what it used to be, 540 00:27:54,068 --> 00:27:57,029 I really can't imagine they'd let me live anywhere else. 541 00:27:57,113 --> 00:27:58,239 [laughs] 542 00:27:58,322 --> 00:28:02,034 I just think they would get together, there'd be some sort of city council, 543 00:28:02,118 --> 00:28:05,496 and they would say, "We've come to tell you, you have to leave." 544 00:28:05,579 --> 00:28:06,706 "You can't stay here." 545 00:28:06,789 --> 00:28:10,710 -That's what they kind of do with me. -"Sorry. Time for you to leave." 546 00:28:10,793 --> 00:28:14,588 ♪ So save your time and trouble ♪ 547 00:28:17,216 --> 00:28:20,136 ♪ I said save your railroad fare ♪ 548 00:28:25,015 --> 00:28:28,436 ♪ I said you better Save your time and trouble, brother ♪ 549 00:28:30,604 --> 00:28:34,900 ♪ Yeah, save your railroad fare ♪ 550 00:28:40,030 --> 00:28:42,158 ♪ 'Cause when you leave New York ♪ 551 00:28:43,075 --> 00:28:48,289 ♪ Yeah, let me say You ain't going nowhere ♪ 552 00:28:54,628 --> 00:28:55,713 [music ends]