1 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:08,800 ♪ ("PAINTING WITH JOHN NEW OPENING" PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,477 ♪ Ah-dee ♪ 3 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:21,688 ♪ Ah-da ♪ 4 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,151 ♪ Ah-dee ♪ 5 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,153 ♪ Ah-da ♪ 6 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,698 ♪ Ha-dee ♪ 7 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,034 ♪ Ah-da ♪ 8 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:39,497 -♪ Ha-dee ♪ -♪ Ha-dee ♪ 9 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,498 ♪ Ah-da ♪ 10 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:45,795 -♪ Ha-dee ♪ -♪ Ha-dee ♪ 11 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,550 -♪ Ah-da ♪ -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 12 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,266 In like, 1997, I think it was '97, 13 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,895 I got asked to play "The Star-Spangled Banner" 14 00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,521 before a Nets game... 15 00:01:05,522 --> 00:01:07,692 when they were back in New Jersey. 16 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,447 So... (GRUNTS) ...the night before I practiced it 17 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:16,283 a few times just-- And I decided to just play it 18 00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,536 really straight, like, 'cause I assumed they had 19 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,374 a shitty microphone and a shitty sound system 20 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:24,376 which was just really for, like... 21 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,127 (IMITATES ANNOUNCER) "Foul on Keith Van Horn." 22 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,338 (IN NORMAL VOICE) So I-- I just sort of thought, 23 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,174 "Just play it normal. Just-- Just play it." 24 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,844 I was in the studio that day and I get home 25 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,013 and I'm getting ready to go. 26 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,392 And as I'm going out the door, the phone rings 27 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,770 and I answer it and it's Flea. "Hey, what are you doing?" 28 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,564 I said, "I'm on my way to play 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'" 29 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,734 He said, "Oh, you're gonna be really nervous. 30 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,360 Nobody's there to see you." 31 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,280 Well-- Which hadn't occurred to me 32 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:58,326 that I was gonna be nervous and then he goes... 33 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,912 "Yeah, the only thing memorable you can do is fuck it up. 34 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,998 That's the one thing you can do that anybody will remember, 35 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,417 is if you fuck it up." 36 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,420 So now that thing goes into my head a bit, 37 00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:13,341 like, that nerve thing, that nervous thing. 38 00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,970 It just sort of starts and it's like, you know, I-- 39 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,513 And it just sort of starts in my brain 40 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,724 and on the way out there, I'm starting to get nervous, 41 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:25,687 like, I'm getting nervous. And I'm putting on my reed 42 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,439 on the mouthpiece before and it's like 43 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,815 my hands are kind of shaking. 44 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:31,359 So there's all this stuff in the dressing room, 45 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:32,902 and I have a big glass of whiskey 46 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,863 to kind of calm myself down. 47 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,199 And... 48 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,745 I go out there and the ball boy's 49 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,456 collecting the balls, and I hand him my saxophone 50 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:45,832 and take a ball out of his hands 51 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,793 and I shoot from, like, ten feet beyond half-court. 52 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,630 And it was like, right on line. It was just short by this much. 53 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,382 If it had gone in, I would have been on-- 54 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,634 I would have been on ESPN all over the country. 55 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,137 It would have been a great moment in my life. 56 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,638 But it was just short. 57 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,350 And so, I got out there and I'm nervous, 58 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,478 but I couldn't, y'know-- Anyway, and I started to play, 59 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,814 and then if I do say so myself, I had a beautiful sound 60 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,274 on the saxophone. 61 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:16,154 And I start to play and it sounds gorgeous. 62 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,324 I mean, it's just like, this warm, beautiful sound 63 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,993 filling up the whole arena. It's really... 64 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,540 something. And like, "Oh, I got this." 65 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:31,961 And just as I start to think, "Oh, I got this," I fuck up. 66 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,505 I mean, I just sort of blipped a note, 67 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,674 and then I jumped ahead. I skipped a half a phrase. 68 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:41,304 So people singing along were now out of whack. 69 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,890 And I kind of pulled it together and I finished. 70 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,102 And that-- It must have been beautiful 71 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,687 'cause you don't see this. 72 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,690 John Calipari, who was the Nets coach 73 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,860 at that time, and the refs come running over to me saying, 74 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,487 "That was beautiful, that was beautiful." 75 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,072 I'm at half-court and they're yelling, 76 00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,365 "That was so beautiful." 77 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:05,036 And I, which I assume was on New Jersey TV, yelled, 78 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,621 "I fucked it up!" 79 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,710 And they back away from me like I'm a crazy person. 80 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,754 And I walk off the court yelling, 81 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,755 "I fucked it up," over and over and over again. 82 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,260 I walk by the Nets bench and Keith Van Horn 83 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,429 is staring at me, like... 84 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,973 I guess he was nervous before the games, 85 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,183 and I get to the end of the bench 86 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,602 and Sam Cassell says... 87 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,355 "That's all right, we all fuck up sometime." 88 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,607 Which I appreciated. 89 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,154 So anyways, Flea did this to me. 90 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,907 He put that germ in my head that grew and grew and grew 91 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:43,742 and then I was nervous. 92 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,118 It wouldn't have happened otherwise. 93 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,494 I know it wouldn't have happened otherwise. 94 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:49,164 So I'm gonna have him on the show to pay him back 95 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,623 for what he did to me. 96 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:55,045 ♪ ("FLEA'S WALK" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 97 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:57,881 John! 98 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:00,842 John! 99 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:03,887 John! 100 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:06,806 John! 101 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,809 John! 102 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,812 John! 103 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,858 -John! -(JOHN LURIE YELLS) 104 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,903 -John! -(JOHN YELLS) 105 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,780 John! 106 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:24,741 John! 107 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,660 John! 108 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,580 Hello, John! 109 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,750 John! 110 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,795 John! 111 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:39,756 John! 112 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,801 John! 113 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,137 -John! -Hey! 114 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,391 -John! -JOHN: Hey! 115 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:52,394 -John! -Hey! 116 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,438 -John! -Hey! 117 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,441 -John! -Hey! 118 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,152 -John! -Hey! 119 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,408 -John! -Hey! 120 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:10,328 -(LAUGHS) John! -JOHN: Hey! 121 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,913 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 122 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,625 -Come on, man. -Door? 123 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,127 -Yeah, please. -FLEA: Close it? 124 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,421 -Yeah, yeah, close it. -FLEA: Okay. 125 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,673 Ah. Feels good here. 126 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,137 -Uh, how you doing? -FLEA: Did you Wordle? 127 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,807 -JOHN: Yeah, last night. -Don't tell me. 128 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,643 No hints, nothing. I know you. 129 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,186 You think I'm gonna just... 130 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,522 -I know you. -JOHN: ...blurt it out for no reason at all? 131 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,524 Why wou-- Why would I do that? 132 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,776 'Cause... To fuck with me. 133 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,695 JOHN: All right. 134 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,196 Do-- Do you want anything? 135 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,490 I'm gonna lie down. 136 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,371 Remember when we went to Australia? 137 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,915 Yeah, where you tried to starve me to death? 138 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,625 That's the part that you always talk about. 139 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,002 Well, because it was... (CHUCKLES) 140 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,212 -It was remarkable, huh? -FLEA: You needed to clean out. 141 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,547 (CHUCKLES) You needed to clean out. 142 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,841 I needed to clean out? What? 143 00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:05,884 (HESITATES) 144 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,887 I-- You won't-- I'll tell it if you're not going to. 145 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,264 He asked me to come to Australia. 146 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,724 -Yeah. -Nice to go. 147 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,642 FLEA: I was so excited you were coming. 148 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,019 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 149 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,730 And then we get there, and he's got this house. 150 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,940 -It's beautiful there. -Yeah. 151 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,734 It's on the ocean, but it's in the middle 152 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,110 -of nowhere. -FLEA: Yeah. 153 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,737 -Congo. -FLEA: Yeah. 154 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,113 And, uh... 155 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,575 he's on some weird new diet. 156 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,911 (LAUGHS) Vegan. 157 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,579 Oh, that's what you were? You were a vegan? 158 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,207 FLEA: I was going vegan. I went vegan. 159 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,582 -But... -FLEA: I didn't know how to 160 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,959 make food that well. (CHUCKLES) 161 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,920 JOHN: But I didn't-- 162 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,589 I didn't-- There was no way for me to get food. 163 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,466 There was really no way to get food. 164 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,592 There was, uh... 165 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,261 I mean, without a car, there was no way. 166 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,763 And you wouldn't take me anywhere. 167 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,890 And so, I was just fucking starving to death. 168 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,767 -Well, that's what I remember about that. -I remember... 169 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,268 -I remember... (LAUGHS) -(JOHN CHUCKLING) 170 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,562 ...you said-- You went to town 171 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,941 with, like, one of the girls or somebody. 172 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,943 And you came back and you were like, 173 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,695 "I had a chicken. I had a... (LAUGHING) 174 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:09,072 -...I had a barbecued chicken." -(BOTH LAUGH) 175 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,825 And I was like, "What the fuck's the matter with you? 176 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,285 Why are you eating that poison? Why you doing it to yourself?" 177 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,996 (CHUCKLES) And you got really mad. 178 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,456 And you said, you said-- 179 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,375 you kind of confronted me and you said, 180 00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:21,876 "Are you telling me what to eat?" 181 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:22,877 (BOTH LAUGH) 182 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,005 -I don't remember that at all. -FLEA: But-- 183 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,548 -Also, that's-- -You know what it was? 184 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,133 At that time? At that time? 185 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,217 Yeah. 186 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,011 I was just in the beginning of coming out of, like, 187 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:35,597 doing drugs, not giving a fuck. You know what I mean? 188 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,308 Like, just being like a wild, crack-smoking, 189 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,438 drug-shooting maniac. 190 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,107 And I became so self-righteous about, 191 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,109 "This is how I'm going to live." Like-- 192 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,445 And then I was just, for the first time, like, 193 00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:52,490 "Okay, I'm gonna be..." Like, I found like, 194 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,783 -a way... -JOHN: Uh-huh. 195 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,994 ...to-- that I thought I could be happy in... 196 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,996 because I was so sad. 197 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,999 You didn't have to starve me. I mean-- (CHUCKLES) 198 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,293 (LAUGHS) 199 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,587 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 200 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:12,677 -(WIND BLOWING) -(BIRDS CHIRPING) 201 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,649 -JOHN: Hello, friendo. -Hey. 202 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,860 You sleep okay? 203 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:30,862 FLEA: Yeah. 204 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,286 -That looks good. -JOHN: Yeah? 205 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,329 FLEA: Yeah. 206 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,457 Very good. 207 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,875 (JOHN GRUNTING) 208 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,879 -(BIRDS CHIRPING) -(VEHICLE APPROACHING) 209 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,799 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 210 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:56,179 ♪ ("LEROY THE GENERAL" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 211 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,809 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 212 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:28,772 -(KNOCK ON DOOR) -Who the fuck is that? 213 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,702 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 214 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,789 Your car is here. 215 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,208 I didn't order a car. 216 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,711 You have to come. And your friend. 217 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,339 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 218 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,884 (SCOFFS) 219 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:04,933 ♪ ("THE VAN" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 220 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,946 (CELL DOOR RATTLING) 221 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,827 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 222 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,055 (GROANS) I'm-- I'm-- I'm sorry. 223 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,098 They've done this to me a couple times before. 224 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,602 They pick you up, they throw you in this room... 225 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:31,811 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 226 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,272 ...and once, they let me go in a couple hours 227 00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,900 and then once, it was like two days 228 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,818 maybe it was three 'cause, like, you can't really tell 229 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,154 what-- how much time passes. (INHALES) 230 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,573 But, um, there's no explanation. 231 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,825 They just let you go after a while. 232 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,883 There's-- There's no way to get out of the Rock 'n' Roll 233 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,009 Hall of Fame, right? 234 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,637 Once you're in there, you're in there. 235 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,349 -Yeah. (LAUGHS) -JOHN: (CHUCKLING) So... 236 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,852 -This is not unlike that, right? -(INHALES) Well-- 237 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,979 And that's why they say you were abducted 238 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:18,608 into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, not inducted. 239 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,193 Well, that's why I think... 240 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,528 -(SCOFFS) -...you know, 241 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,113 if we're in here long enough... 242 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,489 Yeah. 243 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,033 ...we might become geniuses. 244 00:14:27,117 --> 00:14:29,661 Like Jean Genet, that's how he became a genius. 245 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,288 He went to prison, wrote a whole novel, 246 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,500 they took it away from him, burned it, threw it away. 247 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,045 I guess this is a good time to look at this like a-- a... 248 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,840 What do they call it when a monk goes-- 249 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,508 goes in a cave for a long time? 250 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,177 Yeah, but a monk isn't stuck in here with you. 251 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,097 ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 252 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,687 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 253 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,564 JOHN: Once... 254 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:01,192 -when I sat in with you guys. -FLEA: Where? 255 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,529 My mind remembers it as Italy, but I never played 256 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,656 with you in Italy, so I don't know where it was. 257 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,949 FLEA: You played with us in New York. 258 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,951 You played with us in New Orleans. 259 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:12,495 You played with us-- Um... 260 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,122 JOHN: Philadelphia or something? 261 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,665 FLEA: I don't remember that part. 262 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:19,753 I remember... (CHUCKLES) ...I remember New Orleans. 263 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,047 Was that the first time in New Orleans? 264 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,051 Uh... it might be. 265 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,846 So, I was doing Down by Law, so it must be 1986. 266 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,056 Yeah, so I played-- we played-- 267 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,892 I played the whole show with you guys. 268 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,894 -Yeah. -And it was kind of easy. 269 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,604 It was like, you know, everything was kind of 270 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,481 -a vamp back then. -Yeah. 271 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,357 Kind of funky. 272 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,983 And that was really fun to play over. 273 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,569 -Yeah. -And then... 274 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:48,239 about what? A thousand people, maybe even less, 275 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,283 -like 700 people. -Less. 276 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,244 And, uh... 277 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,414 we go into the dressing room and you're all yelling 278 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,875 "Socks, socks, socks!" And I don't know what the fuck-- 279 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,960 -I don't know what's going on. -Yeah. 280 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,337 And you're all taking-- Someone-- 281 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,131 You could have fucking told me what was happening. So... 282 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:08,343 you all took off all your clothes 283 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,514 and put the sock on like you do and ran back out. 284 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:14,432 And I thought... 285 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,685 "Well, I can't do the whole show 286 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,144 and not do this. 287 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,063 -I have to do it." -Yeah. 288 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,816 So, I take off my clothes really fast 289 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,110 and I had these socks from, like, 290 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,612 these almost knee-high socks from Barneys, 291 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,947 like these fancy socks. 292 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,323 Like silk socks. (CHUCKLES) 293 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:34,077 And so, when I put mine on, mine hung down to my knees. 294 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,121 -Yeah. -And, um... 295 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,624 But did it get a good grip around the cock and balls? 296 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,792 -Yeah. -Okay. 297 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,752 I handled that. And then... 298 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:46,423 there's a guy standing on the side of the stage 299 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,342 and I-- with sunglasses on, just grabbed his sunglasses off 300 00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,636 'cause I thought that would help appearance 301 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,721 and put them on. 302 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,139 'Cause I think that's gonna help. 303 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:55,849 You thought it was a disguise? 304 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,851 JOHN: It just, like, gave me some kind of 305 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,269 protection doing this. 306 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,521 So, I'm out there playing and it's like, I can't believe 307 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,898 how hard you play when you're naked, you know. 308 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,233 -It's like, you're really-- -Yeah. 309 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,901 And I'm really playing, I'm really playing, 310 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,444 -I'm really playing. -Yeah. 311 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,030 And then... 312 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,031 you come over and... (GRUNTS) 313 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,159 ...and say... 314 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,872 "The next song is a vocal breakdown. 315 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,665 So don't lay out there. I'll kill you." 316 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,336 -(FLEA LAUGHING) -I said, "Oh, okay, okay." 317 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,003 -I said that? -JOHN: Yeah. 318 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,922 Why? That doesn't sound like you? 319 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,424 I know, I guess it does. I just-- 320 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,718 It's hard to imagine I had the presence of mind, 321 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,011 -you know? -And then, 322 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,637 so there's the vocal breakdown 323 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,680 and now... 324 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:40,310 I'm like, "Well, what do I do? 325 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:44,898 I'm not gonna be up here dancing like some Chippendales' guy." 326 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,983 -Like, fuck. -(BOTH LAUGH) 327 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:49,903 -And so, I ran off the stage. -Yeah. 328 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,029 And it was really amazing. 329 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,490 You know that feral thing where, like, 330 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:56,451 you can feel somebody looking at you? 331 00:17:56,534 --> 00:18:00,455 I felt 700 pairs of eyes all staring at my ass 332 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,998 -as I ran off stage. -FLEA: Yeah. 333 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,210 -I knew that all-- -(FLEA LAUGHING) 334 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,712 (INSECTS CHIRPING) 335 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:23,228 (BOTH HUM, VOCALIZE) 336 00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,823 (HUMMING FADES) 337 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:41,162 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 338 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,293 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 339 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,587 -(SIGHS) -JOHN: How much did you sleep? 340 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:52,048 (GROANS) 341 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,591 I don't know if I slept. 342 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,469 -Yeah, you slept. -I did? 343 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,263 Yeah, they brought food and I ate it 344 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,347 and then I got sick. 345 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,266 And you slept through the whole thing. 346 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,227 -You got sick? -Yeah, I got really sick. 347 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,980 -Did you throw up? -Yeah. 348 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,648 Are you sure it's from the food? 349 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:12,235 Y-- Yeah. 350 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:15,071 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 351 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,449 FLEA: You know when we used to play basketball all the time? 352 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,409 -JOHN: Yeah. -FLEA: That was fun. 353 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:20,660 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 354 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,163 -(JOHN CHUCKLES) -You're a sweet jumper, dude. 355 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,749 -"Don't call me dude." -Yeah, "Don't call me dude." 356 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,334 Well, you have a sweet jumper. 357 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,380 -My best thing was defense. -Really? 358 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,673 Yeah, yeah, by far. 359 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:37,344 And a real ability to-- to see the game, 360 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,929 to look at somebody's body and know which way he's going, 361 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,389 -you know what, you know? -Yeah. 362 00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,475 To study, even like in a pickup game, 363 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:46,978 like, to study somebody's moves and anticipate them. 364 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,229 Yeah. 365 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:49,939 So infinite... 366 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:52,817 the possibilities. 367 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,154 Oh, you must've-- you must've played with pros, right? 368 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,656 A couple of celebrity kind of games. 369 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,910 You know, like, you've seen the greatest moment 370 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:03,370 of my life, right? 371 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,872 It was behind the back kind of thing? 372 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,457 No, that was-- No, not that. 373 00:20:07,499 --> 00:20:09,709 That's my trick shot and I failed at doing that, 374 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:13,421 but I played in one of those MTV celebrity games. 375 00:20:13,505 --> 00:20:15,548 -Yeah. -And to win the game, 376 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,551 I hit a NBA three-pointer, which was a ten-pointer 377 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,679 in that game, but it was an assist 378 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,516 from Chris Mullin and I fucking drained it. 379 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,644 And I won the three-point shoot-off 380 00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:28,812 in the contest. 381 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,525 -It's the greatest thing I've ever done. -In-- In addition to that? 382 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:38,655 -Yeah, both on the same day. -Wow, that is really something. 383 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:41,825 I mean, I hate to admit how jealous I am of that. 384 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,703 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC RESUMES) ♪ 385 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,998 (INHALES) I'm seeing the greatest-- greatest circles 386 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,375 on the wall right now. 387 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,294 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 388 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,468 Are you friends with some of the kids? 389 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,472 Didn't you meet Amari and Amaya? 390 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,557 Yeah. 391 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,560 We're not-- We're not close friends but-- 392 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,270 -But they seem really comfortable... -No, lately-- 393 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,396 ...and happy around you. 394 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,023 Yeah, no, I like them. I like them a lot. 395 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:16,067 Yeah. Do you ever meet little kids that you don't like? 396 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,445 Yeah, all the time. 397 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,072 (LAUGHS) 398 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,533 Yeah, it's like... 399 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,412 -40 percent. -Yeah. 400 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,373 Some kids I really like. But I don't like all kids 401 00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:31,916 -because they're kids. -Yeah. 402 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,003 There was this great thing here once where... 403 00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:41,134 we went up to this school, it's not near here, 404 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,261 and these kids would play in the field 405 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:46,264 and they were really fun to watch 406 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,224 because they really looked athletic, 407 00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:51,144 a nice thing to their stride, you know. 408 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,937 -Yeah. -I can't remember why we wanted 409 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:57,525 to take a photograph. We were with somebody. 410 00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:01,571 But Nesrin was there and she went to ask permission 411 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:04,032 at the school if we could take pictures. 412 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:07,243 And the kids saw her and they were fascinated-- 413 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:10,330 and they were fascinated and attracted to her. 414 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:11,790 -And they-- -How old were they? 415 00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:14,793 -Five, six, seven? -Okay. 416 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:19,839 JOHN: And they surrounded her, they really-- And then... 417 00:22:21,174 --> 00:22:26,221 she went down on her knees to show them something... 418 00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:28,973 -Yeah. -...and they engulfed her. 419 00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,058 It was really like, 420 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:33,561 this really top ten magical moments of my life. 421 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:35,480 Yeah, I've never seen anything like it. 422 00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:36,815 -That's 'cause Nes-- -JOHN: Really-- Huh? 423 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,525 That's 'cause Nes is a fucking beam of light. 424 00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,943 -That's right. -JOHN: Yeah, no, they really-- 425 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:42,278 -But they felt it and they really felt it was-- -Yeah. 426 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:44,364 -JOHN: I mean, immediately. -They trusted her. 427 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:47,701 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 428 00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:49,494 (FLEA SIGHING) 429 00:22:55,125 --> 00:22:56,084 Well... 430 00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,504 if we never get out of here... 431 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,965 What the-- Why? We'll get out of here. 432 00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:03,174 (LAUGHS) 433 00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,218 I mean, one can't help but contemplate 434 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,470 when you're stuck in a fucking jail cell. 435 00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:10,682 We've had some good times. 436 00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,855 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 437 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,523 You know, my first nightmare was, 438 00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:23,111 I was, like, five or six and we were in my house 439 00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:25,280 in New Orleans. 440 00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:27,574 I-- I see the house from this nightmare 441 00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:30,035 more than I do from anything in real life. 442 00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:32,871 I remember the house, the structure of the house. 443 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,541 And so, this kid's got a wallet and I take it. 444 00:23:36,583 --> 00:23:40,128 And I-- And it's got two dollars in it. 445 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:43,548 And I take it and I'm running. I'm sort of, like... 446 00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:46,718 a little more than teasing. 447 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,720 I mean, I wasn't gonna steal his money or anything, 448 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,138 but I just-- It was like a 449 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,931 kind of a "fuck you" to this kid. 450 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:54,726 And so, I've got his wallet and I'm running and I run 451 00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:58,521 into this invisible wall right in front of-- 452 00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:01,691 -But it had a personality. -(BREATHES DEEPLY) 453 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:04,861 And the wallet goes up in the air 454 00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:07,614 -and it scared me to death. -Oh, man. 455 00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:10,992 -And it was kind of like... -Yeah. 456 00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:12,369 ...it was kind of like... 457 00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,704 -it's not an evil spirit. -Yeah. 458 00:24:14,746 --> 00:24:18,333 It's a really harsh judge of your conscience. 459 00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:20,960 -Yeah. -Really. Whoa! 460 00:24:21,044 --> 00:24:22,087 Wow! 461 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,719 I had this dream when I was a kid... 462 00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,515 the most terrifying nightmare. 463 00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,558 And I still remember it. 464 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,020 But in the nightmare, like, this evil in the nightmare 465 00:24:39,104 --> 00:24:41,523 spoke to me and said, "If you ever tell 466 00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:43,775 -about this nightmare..." -(HESITATES) 467 00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,735 -Have you ever told anyone? -No. 468 00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,737 Well, just, what, do you want to think about this? 469 00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:50,115 -I'm not gonna tell it. -JOHN: Oh, okay. 470 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:52,492 But like, I still won't tell, you know what I mean? 471 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,494 -JOHN: Yeah. -That's how fucking scary it was. 472 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:58,081 Well, that came from inside your head. 473 00:24:58,123 --> 00:25:01,126 -You know what I mean? -That's what they say. 474 00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:10,468 (PLAYS TUNE ON HARMONICA) 475 00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:12,929 ♪ Oh, don't let me die here ♪ 476 00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:16,975 ♪ Don't let me die here With this idiot ♪ 477 00:25:18,435 --> 00:25:20,603 ♪ Oh, don't let me die here ♪ 478 00:25:20,645 --> 00:25:21,980 (VOCALIZES) 479 00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:24,232 I think you might be... 480 00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:27,485 the only person that could call me an "idiot" 481 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:30,947 -and it makes me happy. -(BOTH LAUGH) 482 00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:36,828 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 483 00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:40,540 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 484 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,919 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 485 00:25:45,503 --> 00:25:46,755 You can go. 486 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:50,842 -Can we have our clothes back? -No. 487 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,678 -(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING) -Figures. 488 00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:57,849 JOHN: Did you eat the food? 489 00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,768 'Cause I don't know what that was. 490 00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:01,644 -I didn't eat. -Oh. 491 00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:04,564 I didn't eat the whole time. I didn't eat, I didn't poop. 492 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,066 I might have peed once. 493 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:08,735 Once I was at a fashion show with Iggy Pop, 494 00:26:08,818 --> 00:26:09,903 watching a runway show, 495 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:11,780 the only fashion show I've ever been to, 496 00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:13,823 and I had to go to the bathroom and they said, 497 00:26:13,865 --> 00:26:15,367 "There's no bathroom." 498 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:17,577 And Iggy Pop looked at me and he said, 499 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:19,454 "Fashion people, nothing comes in, 500 00:26:19,537 --> 00:26:21,706 -nothing goes out." -(JOHN CHUCKLING) 501 00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:23,625 When I did the Marvin record 502 00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:24,668 -and I was getting... -Yeah. 503 00:26:24,709 --> 00:26:25,877 -...all the quotes from people, -Yeah. 504 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,462 I didn't really know Iggy, but I heard 505 00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,464 he had told somebody, "John Lurie 506 00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,383 -is an American original." -FLEA: Yeah. 507 00:26:31,466 --> 00:26:33,760 So, I called him, I said, "Do you mind just saying that 508 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,221 -about Marvin Pontiac?" -Yeah. 509 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,931 JOHN: He said, "Okay." 510 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:39,683 And he changed it to, "Marvin Pontiac 511 00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:44,354 is an American original. He'd kick your ass for nothing." 512 00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:47,857 And I called him to thank him and at the end I said, 513 00:26:47,899 --> 00:26:50,026 -"We should hang out sometime." -Yeah. 514 00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:51,945 And he said, "Why?" 515 00:26:52,028 --> 00:26:54,739 (BOTH LAUGH) 516 00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:57,492 Which is-- Which is something I wish I thought of like, 517 00:26:57,575 --> 00:26:59,244 -forty years ago, you know. -FLEA: Huh. 518 00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:04,082 ♪ ("JOHN AND FLEA WALK HOME" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 519 00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:46,750 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 520 00:27:49,085 --> 00:27:54,299 ♪ ("FLEA'S NIGHTMARE" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 521 00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:06,811 (JOHN VOCALIZING) 522 00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:10,106 (GROANS) 523 00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,112 -(GASPS, BREATHES HEAVILY) -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES ABRUPTLY) ♪ 524 00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:19,741 ♪ ("PRISONER PLATYPUS PARADE PLATYPUS" BY JOHN LURIE PLAYING) ♪ 525 00:28:56,361 --> 00:29:00,240 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 526 00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:05,870 ♪ ("THE FIRST AND ROYAL QUEEN" BY THE LOUNGE LIZARDS PLAYS) ♪ 527 00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:05,805 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪