1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,483 Amy, come on! 2 00:00:06,723 --> 00:00:08,723 CHEERING 3 00:00:08,723 --> 00:00:10,283 Oh, my God! 4 00:00:10,283 --> 00:00:11,803 The camera's fallen over. 5 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:15,083 OK, Dad, I'm filming. OK. Here we go. 6 00:00:18,243 --> 00:00:21,523 OK, Sam, you on, yeah? OK. 7 00:00:21,523 --> 00:00:25,283 Little, um, bed and breakfast for the birthday girl. 8 00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:27,643 It's... No, it's not bed and breakfast, sorry. 9 00:00:27,643 --> 00:00:29,803 Little birthday in bed for the breakfast girl. 10 00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:32,243 That's not it. Huh? Oh...! 11 00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:37,003 Little breakfast in bed for the birthday girl. 12 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,563 Scrambled eggs, salmon, OJ, 13 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,643 cafe au lait, s'il vous plait. 14 00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:43,883 Hashtag best husband ever. 15 00:00:45,203 --> 00:00:46,563 Let's go and make her day. 16 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,163 Do you want a hand, Dad? 17 00:00:51,163 --> 00:00:54,003 I'm OK. I'm all good. 18 00:00:56,763 --> 00:00:58,723 WHISPERS: We're in. Ready? 19 00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:03,203 BOTH: # Happy birthday... # 20 00:01:03,203 --> 00:01:05,923 Argh! Argh! Ohhh! 21 00:01:05,923 --> 00:01:08,723 Ah... Ah. 22 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:11,243 Happy birthday. 23 00:01:11,243 --> 00:01:14,763 Thanks. What's that? 24 00:01:14,763 --> 00:01:16,203 That's breakfast in bed - 25 00:01:16,203 --> 00:01:18,643 there's a little bit of fish there, some egg. 26 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:19,763 Thank you. 27 00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:21,923 Happy birthday, Mum. 28 00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:23,443 Thanks, Sam. 29 00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:26,723 DOORBELL RINGS Oh. It's the tray. It's warped. 30 00:01:26,723 --> 00:01:29,083 Oh, God, that can't be your mum already, surely? Probably not. 31 00:01:30,603 --> 00:01:32,203 You know your side gate's open? 32 00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:33,523 Unusual greeting. 33 00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:36,163 Hi, Mum. I've been gardening. What's this? 34 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,283 Hello, Sammy, love. 35 00:01:37,283 --> 00:01:39,803 Still doing your little videos, then, are you? 36 00:01:39,803 --> 00:01:42,603 Yeah, well, I'm making a documentary about the family 37 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,003 for my media studies coursework. Hi, Granny. 38 00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:48,603 You know, you'll never woo a decent woman behind that thing. 39 00:01:48,603 --> 00:01:50,683 A decent woman? Mum, he's 15. 40 00:01:50,683 --> 00:01:52,963 He hasn't even been through puberty yet. 41 00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:54,883 Yeah, well, I married your dad when I was 15. 42 00:01:54,883 --> 00:01:57,083 Yeah, I know, and you mustn't keep telling people that 43 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,523 because I'm pretty sure it was illegal. 44 00:01:59,523 --> 00:02:01,403 Hi, Sue. You're up nice and early. 45 00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:04,123 Oh, yeah. Well, next-door have bought a puppy. 46 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,523 Oh, right. 47 00:02:05,523 --> 00:02:08,563 Oh, no, sorry, I don't understand the connection. 48 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:12,843 It yaps its head off from about 5am onwards. 49 00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,043 I mean, honestly, 50 00:02:14,043 --> 00:02:16,323 they might as well have bought a bloody rooster. 51 00:02:16,323 --> 00:02:18,003 Bit cuter, though, surely? 52 00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,363 Oh, yeah, lovely. 53 00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,763 When it's not yapping, it's crapping. 54 00:02:21,763 --> 00:02:23,363 I've complained to the council, 55 00:02:23,363 --> 00:02:26,003 but they said it's not enough to have it impounded. 56 00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:28,243 Oh, right. I'll just have to hope it bites me. 57 00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:29,963 Oh, well. Fingers crossed. 58 00:02:29,963 --> 00:02:34,603 So, anyway, happy birthday, Rachel, love. Aww! 59 00:02:34,603 --> 00:02:36,363 Oh, thank you. Ahh! 60 00:02:36,363 --> 00:02:39,723 45, eh? You're halfway there. 61 00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:42,123 Ah, bit morbid. What's this? 62 00:02:42,123 --> 00:02:44,723 This is a bunion corrector. 63 00:02:44,723 --> 00:02:46,563 Oh. Now, I know it may not be 64 00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:48,723 the most exciting present in the world. 65 00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:51,723 Yeah, agree with that. But you may need it sooner than you think. 66 00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:52,923 OK. Thank you. 67 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,163 And, I made you... 68 00:02:56,403 --> 00:02:58,003 ..a profiterole tower. 69 00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,563 Oh, wow. 70 00:02:59,563 --> 00:03:01,923 Oh, God, Mum, a tower?! 71 00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:05,363 I mean, couldn't you have made something smaller? Like a cottage? 72 00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:08,243 Amy, Granny's here. Thank you. 73 00:03:08,243 --> 00:03:09,883 Well, you don't have to eat it all. 74 00:03:09,883 --> 00:03:11,803 Yeah, but I will, though. He will, yeah. 75 00:03:11,803 --> 00:03:13,123 You know, please. 76 00:03:13,123 --> 00:03:15,763 Can you just bring round something healthy for a change, 77 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,643 like fruit or nuts or something? 78 00:03:17,643 --> 00:03:20,603 Oh, I've got a couple of chocolate oranges here in me bag. 79 00:03:20,603 --> 00:03:22,403 How is that fruit, though? Oh, and, Rachel, 80 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,603 there's a £5 cheque here from Uncle Barry. 81 00:03:25,603 --> 00:03:28,243 Aww. OK, no. I'm sorry, no. 82 00:03:28,243 --> 00:03:29,763 What do you mean, "no"? 83 00:03:29,763 --> 00:03:31,723 I mean, you've got to tell Uncle Barry 84 00:03:31,723 --> 00:03:33,883 to stop sending us cheques for such small amounts, 85 00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:36,043 because, frankly, that's not giving us a present - 86 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:38,603 that's giving us an errand. Oh, don't be daft. 87 00:03:38,603 --> 00:03:40,923 There are only about three branches of NatWest 88 00:03:40,923 --> 00:03:42,923 left in the entire world. 89 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,643 Paying a cheque in nowadays is not unlike returning 90 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,163 the ring to Mordor, 91 00:03:47,163 --> 00:03:49,123 which I doubt Frodo would've done for £5. 92 00:03:49,123 --> 00:03:50,883 Oh, God, just ignore him, Sue. 93 00:03:50,883 --> 00:03:53,123 We'll get round to it eventually. I mean, God knows, 94 00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:55,363 we need all the money we can get right now. 95 00:03:55,363 --> 00:03:57,363 Oh. Still not working, then, Paul? 96 00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:58,603 AMY: No, he's not. 97 00:03:58,603 --> 00:04:00,443 How did you even hear that?! 98 00:04:00,443 --> 00:04:01,683 Aargh! 99 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:03,683 LOUD BUMP 100 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:03,683 What happened? 101 00:04:03,683 --> 00:04:05,563 Maya slipped on some salmon. 102 00:04:05,563 --> 00:04:08,003 But I'm OK. It's just the salmon's not. 103 00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:09,563 Just put it...in the bath. 104 00:04:09,563 --> 00:04:11,963 The bath? It's not going to come back to life, Mum. 105 00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:14,683 Sam, can you please go upstairs and clean the landing carpet? 106 00:04:14,683 --> 00:04:16,123 What? Why do I have to do it? 107 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,203 You know, I have been looking for other work 108 00:04:18,203 --> 00:04:22,483 but since the archery club closed, there's just very little out there. 109 00:04:22,483 --> 00:04:23,803 Of course there is. 110 00:04:23,803 --> 00:04:25,963 There's all the jobs that don't involve archery. 111 00:04:25,963 --> 00:04:29,203 Well, I have to do archery, hon. I mean, that's...that's who I am. 112 00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:32,243 OK. Well, why not try and be someone 113 00:04:32,243 --> 00:04:34,723 who does a job they hate for money, like the rest of us? 114 00:04:34,723 --> 00:04:37,763 Anyway, I've been working in the garden, Mum, you know? 115 00:04:37,763 --> 00:04:39,563 Getting my Monty Don on. 116 00:04:39,563 --> 00:04:41,523 Or Monty Don't, ideally. 117 00:04:41,523 --> 00:04:44,163 He's already killed that camelia I liked. I haven't killed it! 118 00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:46,643 Yeah. I doubt I've killed it. I was just, you know, 119 00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:48,763 giving it a hard prune to make way for all the fruit 120 00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:51,283 and veg I'm growing. Oh. What have you got? 121 00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:53,803 Um, raspberries, gooseberries and rhubarb. 122 00:04:53,803 --> 00:04:56,643 Hi, Granny. Oh, hello, Amy, love. Do you like rhubarb? 123 00:04:56,643 --> 00:04:59,043 Oh, I thought you were at university, Maya. 124 00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:01,043 I am, yeah, technically. 125 00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:02,443 But I come down here on weekends 126 00:05:02,443 --> 00:05:04,723 because I hate everyone on my sociology course. 127 00:05:04,723 --> 00:05:06,803 Anti-sociology course. Yeah, and she can't bear 128 00:05:06,803 --> 00:05:09,003 to be without me the whole year, obviously. 129 00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,283 Obviously. 130 00:05:10,283 --> 00:05:11,443 Happy birthday, then, Mum. 131 00:05:11,443 --> 00:05:13,643 I got you another bottle of Mother's Ruin. 132 00:05:13,643 --> 00:05:14,923 Ah, thank you, 133 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,123 although I think that ship has sailed, to be honest. 134 00:05:17,123 --> 00:05:19,443 Birthday boy. Nobody move. Oh, my God. 135 00:05:19,443 --> 00:05:20,763 Aaaargh. Oh, my godfathers! 136 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:23,483 Happy birthday. Ah-ha! All right? 137 00:05:23,483 --> 00:05:25,923 Gosh, wow. That frightened me. Robin's here. 138 00:05:25,923 --> 00:05:27,203 Where did you two come from? 139 00:05:27,203 --> 00:05:28,963 Well, we would've rung the front doorbell 140 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,203 but I saw the side gate was open 141 00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:32,203 and thought I'd raid your back passage. 142 00:05:32,203 --> 00:05:34,123 Ah. She's your sister. 143 00:05:34,123 --> 00:05:36,203 Sorry, that is crass. I'm... 144 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,323 Just delete that, actually, Spielberg, if you... 145 00:05:38,323 --> 00:05:41,083 Can you do that? I can, yeah. But I won't. 146 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:44,883 And Cheryl? Well, I didn't know you two were back together again. 147 00:05:44,883 --> 00:05:45,963 Be tactful, Mum. 148 00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:49,283 No, it's all right Sue, yeah. No, Cherry and I are back in business. 149 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,763 And this time, I'm not letting her go. 150 00:05:51,763 --> 00:05:52,963 Well, what about 151 00:05:52,963 --> 00:05:55,443 the personal trainer you were bonking? 152 00:05:55,443 --> 00:05:57,523 "Bonking"? Mum, please. Don't. Not that word, no. 153 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,963 Yeah, no. That didn't work out. He's gone back to his family. 154 00:05:59,963 --> 00:06:02,123 Oh... Oh, right. He had a... I didn't know that. 155 00:06:02,123 --> 00:06:03,563 Yeah, well, yeah, anyway, 156 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:06,083 that wasn't like a proper relationship. 157 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,203 It was more just like physical. 158 00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:09,523 It was just physical, 159 00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:11,643 yeah, whereas we're more, aren't we, mental? 160 00:06:11,643 --> 00:06:13,083 I must be to be back with you! 161 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,923 Oh, my God! Walked into that one! And that's why I love her, 162 00:06:15,923 --> 00:06:18,363 right there, because she's so funny. 163 00:06:18,363 --> 00:06:20,723 Yeah, she is. Multi-talented. Also, bit of an announcement. 164 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:22,883 Oh? Is the wedding back on? No. No. 165 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,803 No, no, no, no. Don't worry, no, no, no. We're taking it slow this time. 166 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,003 Yeah. 167 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,123 Just, um, we are moving in together, so... 168 00:06:29,123 --> 00:06:30,483 Woohoo. Congratulations. 169 00:06:30,483 --> 00:06:31,843 Well, if they can take your... 170 00:06:31,843 --> 00:06:34,723 Yeah, depending on, um, could I put my Warhammer, 171 00:06:34,723 --> 00:06:37,083 Dungeons & Dragons figures in your loft? Yeah. 172 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:39,283 Because we don't have a lot of space at mine. 173 00:06:39,283 --> 00:06:40,683 His cupboard is full of orcs. 174 00:06:40,683 --> 00:06:43,003 Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Don't see why not. 175 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,203 Anyway, happy birthday. 176 00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,803 Thank you! Oh, look at that. 177 00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:48,243 Are we out of milk? Yes. Oh, nice bag. 178 00:06:48,243 --> 00:06:51,163 Yes, well that is a teeth-whitening kit. 179 00:06:51,163 --> 00:06:53,043 Oh, wow. 180 00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:54,523 I didn't realise I needed that. 181 00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:55,763 Yours are creamy-grey, yeah. 182 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:56,963 Yeah. And they're all right, 183 00:06:56,963 --> 00:06:59,003 they're just a bit like a Farrow & Ball colour. 184 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:00,403 Oh, OK. Thank you. 185 00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:02,443 Well, quite a haul of presents there. 186 00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:05,283 A few reminders of my imminent decay and death. Thank you. 187 00:07:05,283 --> 00:07:06,643 And that, um, planner I got you. 188 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:10,843 Yes, actually, and an excellent personal organiser from Sam, 189 00:07:10,843 --> 00:07:13,403 which I will put to use as of now. 190 00:07:13,403 --> 00:07:16,763 No forgetting to cash cheques or insuring the car from now on. 191 00:07:16,763 --> 00:07:18,243 The car's insured. 192 00:07:18,243 --> 00:07:21,043 In fact, now is the start of a very organised new chapter 193 00:07:21,043 --> 00:07:23,043 for me, so buckle up. 194 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,083 Right. And, um, you haven't had my present yet. 195 00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,523 Oh, here we go. 196 00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:29,043 Oh! Lingerie! 197 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,083 No. 198 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,683 Stop it. Thank you. 199 00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,043 Gross! What is it? 200 00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:38,723 It is a voucher, or, actually, it's called a Wowcher, 201 00:07:38,723 --> 00:07:40,403 yes, yes. Yeah, it's, um, 202 00:07:40,403 --> 00:07:43,123 it's for Jungle World which is a theme park 203 00:07:43,123 --> 00:07:46,563 just up the M1. It's great. They've got abseiling, mini-golf. 204 00:07:46,563 --> 00:07:48,283 Archery. 205 00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:49,683 Archery, sure. 206 00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:51,843 Um, any seated activities? 207 00:07:51,843 --> 00:07:54,603 Um, well, they've got a log flume. 208 00:07:54,603 --> 00:07:56,803 Oh, well. I'll just stay on that, then. 209 00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:59,283 This looks actually good. Well, don't sound too surprised. 210 00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,363 No, I don't. I'm just... Thank you very much. 211 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:02,923 Hey, it's your birthday. Hey. 212 00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:04,963 Oh, sick. They've got zipwires. Ah, sweet. 213 00:08:04,963 --> 00:08:06,563 Yeah, it's like Go Ape. 214 00:08:06,563 --> 00:08:08,763 I've always wanted to Go Ape. Perfect, perfect. 215 00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:10,723 Um, well, yeah, sorry, Cherry. 216 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,683 The Wowcher's only for six people, 217 00:08:12,683 --> 00:08:15,003 so I don't think you and Robin can come. 218 00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:16,883 Ah. Nice. 219 00:08:16,883 --> 00:08:18,883 - Ain't that a kick in the nuts. - I'm so sorry. 220 00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:20,403 Well, we can Go Ape, babe. 221 00:08:20,403 --> 00:08:22,723 I will take you ape if you want to Go Ape. 222 00:08:22,723 --> 00:08:24,843 You just leave that to this big gorilla. 223 00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:28,003 CHERYL CHUCKLES 224 00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:28,003 I like that. Yeah? 225 00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,603 Hey, can't we go today? 226 00:08:29,603 --> 00:08:32,043 No, no, you can't because you need to pre-book all 227 00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:34,243 the activities, you see. But there's no rush. 228 00:08:34,243 --> 00:08:36,283 You know, the Wowcher's valid for six months. 229 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,243 Do you not think we should just go? Yes. 230 00:08:38,243 --> 00:08:40,443 Now - while we're all thinking about it? Definitely. 231 00:08:40,443 --> 00:08:42,323 Nah, your dad's right. We've got bags of time. 232 00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,683 We'll plan it out, put it in the organiser, do it properly. 233 00:08:44,683 --> 00:08:47,403 Exactly. Sam, can you go and clean the mess you made upstairs, mate? 234 00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:49,363 Me? That was you! Thank you. 235 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,323 Thank you. 236 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:53,043 Go, go, go, go. 237 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:54,323 Come on, please. 238 00:08:54,323 --> 00:08:56,603 Why is it always this hard to leave the house? Paul! 239 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:57,923 I can't find the back-door key. 240 00:08:57,923 --> 00:09:00,483 Are you ready, Sam? Yeah. I've been ready for about 20 minutes. 241 00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:03,283 Outside, then, get outside. Mum. Have we got any clean towels? 242 00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:05,123 Why, are you...? You're not having a shower. 243 00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:06,523 No, no. I'm having a bath. 244 00:09:06,523 --> 00:09:09,083 No. No. We're leaving right now. It closes in five hours, Paul. 245 00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:11,763 Help me find the key! I can't lock the back door. Look in the living 246 00:09:11,763 --> 00:09:14,643 room drawer. Sorry, I... No, what are you doing, Robin? Don't come in. 247 00:09:14,643 --> 00:09:18,483 What? I don't want to wait in the car on my own. No, we're coming right now. Doesn't look like it. 248 00:09:18,483 --> 00:09:20,883 It's not in the drawer! I was going to make a quick toastie. 249 00:09:20,883 --> 00:09:23,403 No way! The kitchen, then, in the bowl. 250 00:09:23,403 --> 00:09:26,003 Look. Will you please just take your shoes off and help me look 251 00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:28,483 rather than standing in the door barking instructions? 252 00:09:28,483 --> 00:09:30,643 Oh, God. I feel like I'm in the Crystal Maze! 253 00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:32,803 And not in a good way. Leave it, then, leave it. 254 00:09:32,803 --> 00:09:34,923 What, just leave it? Yeah. Leave the back door open? 255 00:09:34,923 --> 00:09:36,563 Yeah, why not? Well, we'll get burgled. 256 00:09:36,563 --> 00:09:38,643 Good...good. Have you seen this place? 257 00:09:38,643 --> 00:09:40,923 They'll be doing us a bloody favour. Now, please, 258 00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:44,163 can we all just leave the house and ENJOY OURSELVES?! 259 00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:46,643 Hmm. I mean, how has this happened? 260 00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:48,963 I can't believe we've done this. 261 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,883 I can. I fully expected this. 262 00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:52,403 Not helpful, Amy. 263 00:09:52,403 --> 00:09:55,483 Call the jungle people. Book us in for stuff. 264 00:09:55,483 --> 00:09:58,843 All right. Can we just pick my mum up first, please? 265 00:09:58,843 --> 00:10:00,963 Quick, quick, quick. Yeah, all right. 266 00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:03,683 Hey, so it's 1.45, so if we get there at 3, 267 00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:05,203 we've still got three hours. 268 00:10:05,203 --> 00:10:08,843 We can do most of it if we really zip down those zipwires, OK? Yeah? 269 00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:10,323 Yeah, OK, yeah. Yeah. 270 00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:11,923 Why...why has Gran got a dog? 271 00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:13,723 She hasn't. 272 00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:14,923 Has she? 273 00:10:14,923 --> 00:10:16,923 Oh, God. Yeah, she has. Yeah. 274 00:10:16,923 --> 00:10:19,643 Well, Pinel and Ben have gone to Iceland, 275 00:10:19,643 --> 00:10:22,163 so I said I'd look after the dog for them. 276 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,763 Iceland the shop or the country? 277 00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:25,163 I didn't actually find out. 278 00:10:25,163 --> 00:10:26,763 I'm assuming it's the country 279 00:10:26,763 --> 00:10:30,243 because they've gone for the entire weekend and took suitcases. 280 00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:32,683 Probably the country, then. It will be the country, yeah. 281 00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:34,163 I thought you hated that dog? 282 00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:37,483 What? Lord Sugar? No, I love him. 283 00:10:37,483 --> 00:10:38,923 I've always loved him. 284 00:10:38,923 --> 00:10:42,643 Ugh! He's my little icky Cockapooey pal, aren't you? 285 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,563 A cockapoo called Lord Sugar? 286 00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:47,643 Is there any animal in the world with less dignity? 287 00:10:47,643 --> 00:10:49,283 Yeah. Dad. 288 00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:52,603 Oh, ha-ha-ha. Very funny, Amy. NOT. 289 00:10:52,603 --> 00:10:55,683 I would've said no, if you'd given me more warning. Well... 290 00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:58,443 I mean, I thought we had ages to use this Wowcher thing. 291 00:10:58,443 --> 00:11:00,043 We did, we do. 292 00:11:00,043 --> 00:11:01,683 It was my birthday six months ago, Sue, 293 00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,283 and today is the last day it's valid. 294 00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:06,003 Anyway, Lord Sugar hasn't done his business this morning. 295 00:11:06,003 --> 00:11:08,803 Oh, aye. So I can't risk leaving him home alone. 296 00:11:08,803 --> 00:11:11,683 Business. What's his business? It's Amstrad. 297 00:11:11,683 --> 00:11:14,443 His downstairs business. He must be bursting. 298 00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:16,723 What? He's supposed to widdle on command. 299 00:11:16,723 --> 00:11:17,883 If you go "sss, sss, sss." 300 00:11:17,883 --> 00:11:19,443 Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, don't do that! 301 00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:21,203 Please, please. I'm on the phone. 302 00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:24,163 Is there a command to make him hold it in? 303 00:11:24,163 --> 00:11:27,323 Um, not as far as I know, unless you tie in a knot in it. 304 00:11:27,323 --> 00:11:29,523 But he'll never make the whole journey, though. 305 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,003 Oh, great. 306 00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:33,603 Look for a park, everyone. Hold it in, Lord Sugar. 307 00:11:33,603 --> 00:11:36,763 Hold in. What about rafting? 3pm. Yes, yes, yes. 308 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:39,523 Yes. We can make that, I think. Zip lining? 309 00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:43,283 Fully booked. Oh! No! What about the archery? 310 00:11:43,283 --> 00:11:45,483 Well, we don't need to do archery. 311 00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:48,443 Nothing. I should say, full disclosure, 312 00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:50,043 that I am actually 313 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,443 a former Olympic Team GB archer, if that makes a difference. 314 00:11:53,443 --> 00:11:55,643 Why would that make a difference? It won't. 315 00:11:55,643 --> 00:11:57,443 No... No, I didn't... OK. 316 00:11:57,443 --> 00:11:59,843 There. Rachel. Park. Over there. 317 00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:03,083 ALL TALK AT ONCE Get this dog off me. It's a park! 318 00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:04,803 What's the nature trail? 319 00:12:04,803 --> 00:12:07,683 I don't know...I don't know if the kids will be interested. 320 00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,683 OK, quickly, Sue. Quick, quick, quick. 321 00:12:09,683 --> 00:12:11,403 All right, all right, all right. 322 00:12:11,403 --> 00:12:13,563 Come on. ..at 4, and then the mini golf at 4.30. 323 00:12:13,563 --> 00:12:15,363 What have you got at 5.30? Oh, good boy! 324 00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:18,283 Get him out. Come on, and do your wees. Really? Oh. 325 00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:19,723 Bear with me a sec. 326 00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:22,043 They close at five. No, no, no, no. It's six. 327 00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:23,603 In the summer, yes, 328 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:28,083 but from September to April, it's five. Ah. Oh. Ah, OK. 329 00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,963 OK, book those in. Yes, book 'em, Danno. 330 00:12:29,963 --> 00:12:31,083 It's a jay, look. 331 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,123 No, no bird-watching, Sue. We really need to motor. 332 00:12:34,123 --> 00:12:36,683 Now, so, um, come on, Lord Sugar. 333 00:12:36,683 --> 00:12:38,083 Do your business. 334 00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:39,803 No! Oh, Rachel! 335 00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:44,923 I was told not to do that in case he...did that. 336 00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:46,723 Heel... Heel, boy. 337 00:12:46,723 --> 00:12:48,883 Lord Sugar! Come here, boy. 338 00:12:48,883 --> 00:12:50,883 Oh... He'll be back. 339 00:12:50,883 --> 00:12:54,923 He won't be back. Lord Sugar! He's fast, isn't he? 340 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,203 Oh, blimey hell, where is he? 341 00:12:59,203 --> 00:13:00,763 Sir Alan! 342 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:03,603 No, no, Dad, it's Lord Sugar. Oh, yeah. Lord Sugar! 343 00:13:03,603 --> 00:13:05,763 Not that one. Lord Sugar. 344 00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:07,723 Lord! Here, boy. 345 00:13:07,723 --> 00:13:11,163 No. You've got to say his whole name or he won't respond. 346 00:13:11,163 --> 00:13:13,683 Well, he's not responding anyway, is he? Lord Sugar! 347 00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:15,563 Stupid dog. Lord Sugar! 348 00:13:15,563 --> 00:13:17,243 Don't call Lord Sugar stupid. 349 00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:19,083 Oh. Of course he's stupid. 350 00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:20,283 All these fluffy, doddle 351 00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:22,163 cocker-jacker-schnoo-bradols are stupid. 352 00:13:22,163 --> 00:13:25,043 They're quite bright, aren't they? Why can't people have a normal dog? 353 00:13:25,043 --> 00:13:26,323 There are no normal dogs, Mum. 354 00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:28,483 They've all been bred to be cute or useful, 355 00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:29,923 unless you mean wolves. 356 00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:31,283 Yeah, OK, yeah. 357 00:13:31,283 --> 00:13:33,363 Why can't people grow up and have a wolf? 358 00:13:33,363 --> 00:13:35,803 Do you want me to answer that? No, I don't. 359 00:13:35,803 --> 00:13:37,723 Well, we're going to miss the rafting. 360 00:13:37,723 --> 00:13:40,003 OK. I think we should split up. 361 00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:42,203 Really? No, no, 362 00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:44,883 as in, I think you look round here and I'll be back. Yes. 363 00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:45,923 OK. I'll be back. 364 00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:48,883 Yeah, let's, um... Let's scatter. Fine. Lord Sugar! 365 00:13:48,883 --> 00:13:51,923 Has anyone got any treats, like a dog treat, 366 00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:55,163 not a human treat, or both? Lord Sugar! Here, boy. 367 00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:56,963 Obvious question, 368 00:13:56,963 --> 00:13:59,603 but why are we getting ladybirds through the post? 369 00:13:59,603 --> 00:14:01,603 Sam, are you doing something weird? 370 00:14:01,603 --> 00:14:03,563 No. Like what? 371 00:14:03,563 --> 00:14:07,043 They're mine. I bought them to eat the aphids. 372 00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:10,003 Oh. You've got aphids, have you, Paul? 373 00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:12,163 I've got an absolute plague of them. 374 00:14:12,163 --> 00:14:14,843 It's like I've offended the Old Testament God. 375 00:14:14,843 --> 00:14:17,243 Amy, could you put those ladybirds in the fridge, please? 376 00:14:17,243 --> 00:14:20,043 They tend to work harder if they've been refrigerated, apparently. 377 00:14:20,043 --> 00:14:22,323 Ah, maybe we should put you in a fridge as well, then. 378 00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:25,643 Ah. Still no job news, then, Paul? 379 00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,803 Well, no. But, you know, 380 00:14:27,803 --> 00:14:29,683 I've just been flat out in the garden. 381 00:14:29,683 --> 00:14:31,923 You know, there's just so much to do before harvest. 382 00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:34,243 Harvest. Yes, of course. 383 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,923 It's going to be like harvest festival in here, isn't it? 384 00:14:36,923 --> 00:14:39,123 Maybe we should hire some seasonal labourers 385 00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:41,043 from the EU to help bring it all in. 386 00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:43,923 Well, I have asked Robin and Dean to help me bring in the rhubarb. 387 00:14:43,923 --> 00:14:46,403 Are you not going to be late for work, Mum? Yes, always. 388 00:14:46,403 --> 00:14:48,763 I just can't find my personal organiser, again. 389 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,083 You know, and it is a bit like a job really, 390 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:54,163 you know, when you think about how much money we're going to save 391 00:14:54,163 --> 00:14:55,683 eating food from the garden. 392 00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,923 How much do you think we currently spend on rhubarb? 393 00:14:57,923 --> 00:15:00,323 I mean, if you were growing frozen pizzas 394 00:15:00,323 --> 00:15:02,403 or tins of beans out there, then, yes, maybe. 395 00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,883 I AM growing beans. I'm growing beans. 396 00:15:04,883 --> 00:15:08,123 I found these amazing beans on eBay, you know? 397 00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:10,643 They crop all year round, even in winter. 398 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,483 They're like miracles of nature. 399 00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,763 So, magic beans? 400 00:15:14,763 --> 00:15:17,763 Cool. Cos no-one's ever been scammed by them before. 401 00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:18,963 SAM SNIGGERS 402 00:15:18,963 --> 00:15:22,563 For your information Amy, Jack was correct to buy those magic beans 403 00:15:22,563 --> 00:15:24,683 in Jack And The Beanstalk. 404 00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:27,603 You know? That's like the whole point of the story. 405 00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:29,323 Why am I eating cake? 406 00:15:30,403 --> 00:15:31,523 Mum! 407 00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:33,203 I didn't ask for this, Mum. 408 00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:35,043 Well, it was on special. 409 00:15:35,043 --> 00:15:37,123 You know, buy one, get one free. 410 00:15:37,123 --> 00:15:40,603 So, if anyone else wants some, I have actually got two. 411 00:15:40,603 --> 00:15:42,123 Oh, for God's sake. Oh. 412 00:15:42,123 --> 00:15:44,163 You know you still haven't paid in this £5 cheque. 413 00:15:44,163 --> 00:15:46,003 I'm not going to. Oh, no, really? 414 00:15:46,003 --> 00:15:47,083 Yes, no, we will, Sue. 415 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,843 It's on my to-do list, which is in my personal organiser. No, we won't. 416 00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:51,603 Which you've lost. Which I currently can't find. 417 00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:52,723 BELL RINGS 418 00:15:52,723 --> 00:15:55,643 Oh, and you still need to use your Wowcher thingy. 419 00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:58,603 Oh, yeah. Let's go tomorrow, when Maya gets here. 420 00:15:58,603 --> 00:16:01,163 No, I'm releasing the ladybirds tomorrow. 421 00:16:01,163 --> 00:16:03,483 We'll go next weekend. There's so much time. 422 00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:04,803 We've got three months. 423 00:16:04,803 --> 00:16:06,683 Hello, hi. What's this? 424 00:16:06,683 --> 00:16:08,803 This one is...dwarves. 425 00:16:08,803 --> 00:16:11,163 Hi. Hiya. It's my Warhammer stuff. 426 00:16:11,163 --> 00:16:14,363 You said that we could put it up in the loft. Oh, yes, OK. 427 00:16:14,363 --> 00:16:16,363 I'm running a bit late for work but, Paul! 428 00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:20,043 Paul! Yeah? Can you help Robin bring in his Dungeons & Dragons dolls? 429 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:22,043 Thank you. Figures, not dolls. 430 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:23,363 Morning, all. Hi. 431 00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:25,523 Hi, Robin. Hi, Cherry. All right? 432 00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:27,283 No. No? Not perfect, no. 433 00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:29,403 Oh, no. What's wrong? 434 00:16:29,403 --> 00:16:30,643 Well, um... 435 00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:32,323 ..we went Ape yesterday. 436 00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,123 Oh, yeah. How'd it go? 437 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,523 Awful. Mm. 438 00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:38,563 He loved it. Dangling about like a dick. 439 00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:40,323 I did not. 440 00:16:40,323 --> 00:16:42,083 Cherry froze up, didn't you, babe? 441 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,963 I had to talk her down. "Don't jump!" 442 00:16:43,963 --> 00:16:46,443 Well, "Do jump," in this case. Yeah. 443 00:16:46,443 --> 00:16:48,643 No, she doesn't like heights, as it turns out. 444 00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:51,723 No, I don't mind them, like in a plane... Yeah. Yeah. 445 00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:54,923 ..or in a mall, or whatever, but up in a tree... 446 00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:57,003 ..it's rank. 447 00:16:57,003 --> 00:16:59,123 You just need to give it another go, I reckon, babe. 448 00:16:59,123 --> 00:17:01,203 Look, stop suggesting we go back Go Ape, Robin. 449 00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:03,003 I'm never going Ape again. 450 00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:05,963 Why do you think people spent hundreds of years 451 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:08,083 evolving to not be apes any more, huh? 452 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,043 Cos it's shit, isn't it? 453 00:17:10,043 --> 00:17:14,003 Especially, with somebody proposing AT you all of the time. 454 00:17:14,003 --> 00:17:16,123 It's hardly all of the time. Oh, wow. 455 00:17:16,123 --> 00:17:18,083 It's nonstop! I tell you, it's nonstop. 456 00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:20,603 Yeah. Honestly! On the zipwire and all, right? 457 00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:23,763 Do you know, he's not even saying the full thing any more. No, no. 458 00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:26,083 He's just going, "Oh, how about now?" Like that. 459 00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,923 On the zipwire, when I'm panic attacking, 460 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,523 this goon's popping the question. 461 00:17:29,523 --> 00:17:32,523 Oh, dear. Trying to get me to say yes, when I'm not in my right mind. 462 00:17:32,523 --> 00:17:34,843 I wasn't trying... I wasn't deceiving you. 463 00:17:34,843 --> 00:17:35,963 It was... 464 00:17:35,963 --> 00:17:37,443 I thought it was a magic moment. 465 00:17:37,443 --> 00:17:40,883 Well, it wasn't. I know. I know that now. How could you think that? 466 00:17:40,883 --> 00:17:42,883 How many goblins have you got? A lot. 467 00:17:42,883 --> 00:17:44,723 Watch your dwarves. Maya? 468 00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:46,403 Can you hear me, Maya? 469 00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:48,323 Yeah, are you on the train? 470 00:17:48,323 --> 00:17:50,083 Oh, right. 471 00:17:51,363 --> 00:17:53,563 Beach. Which beach? 472 00:17:53,563 --> 00:17:54,643 Oh, OK. 473 00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:57,043 Is it... 474 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,203 ..is that with friends from your course or...? 475 00:18:00,403 --> 00:18:01,443 Cool. 476 00:18:02,483 --> 00:18:05,123 So, you're not coming back this weekend, then? 477 00:18:07,123 --> 00:18:10,403 No, that's...that's fine. That's... 478 00:18:10,403 --> 00:18:12,203 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally fine. 479 00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:15,243 Sam! SAM: I wasn't! 480 00:18:15,243 --> 00:18:16,763 Lord Sugar! 481 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,323 HE GROANS 482 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,323 Lord Sugar! 483 00:18:19,323 --> 00:18:21,283 ROBIN: What are you listening to? Lord Sugar! 484 00:18:21,283 --> 00:18:22,683 What are you listening to? 485 00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:25,283 Oh, it's Foundations of Sociology. 486 00:18:25,283 --> 00:18:28,083 Oh, cool. Are they new? I don't know them. 487 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:30,203 No, it's a book. An audio book. Oh. 488 00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:34,283 Ah, sociology. Is that what you're studying at uni? 489 00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:35,963 No, I'm doing geography. 490 00:18:35,963 --> 00:18:37,083 Meant to be. 491 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,603 Maya's doing sociology. 492 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:43,683 It's one of her set texts, so I thought it might... 493 00:18:43,683 --> 00:18:46,003 ..help if I read it, too. 494 00:18:46,003 --> 00:18:47,523 Hmm... 495 00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,403 Can I give you some advice? 496 00:18:49,403 --> 00:18:50,923 I mean, I'm tempted to say no. 497 00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,323 Back off a bit. I would. 498 00:18:53,323 --> 00:18:57,203 Trust me, as someone who knows, I can be a bit... 499 00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:58,643 ..like that. Like what? 500 00:19:00,203 --> 00:19:02,963 Well, I'm...I'm a bit like a Pep Guardiola side 501 00:19:02,963 --> 00:19:04,523 as a boyfriend, you know? 502 00:19:04,523 --> 00:19:06,283 I operate a very high press. 503 00:19:06,283 --> 00:19:08,203 Don't give the opponent any space. 504 00:19:08,203 --> 00:19:11,483 Right. I mean, the fact that you refer to the person you're dating 505 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,603 as "the opponent"... 506 00:19:13,603 --> 00:19:15,603 ..may be more of a problem. 507 00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:19,163 Mm. That's a fair point, actually. 508 00:19:20,203 --> 00:19:22,723 Well, either way, I'd suggest listening to something more upbeat. 509 00:19:22,723 --> 00:19:24,243 A bit of funk, maybe. 510 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:25,803 SUE: He's there, look! 511 00:19:25,803 --> 00:19:27,123 Lord Sugar! Oh, Lord Sugar! 512 00:19:27,123 --> 00:19:29,123 Lord Sugar. Oh! 513 00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:32,843 Well done. Right, I'll call Rach cos we need to crack on. 514 00:19:32,843 --> 00:19:38,083 Oh. He must've found his own way back, the clever boy. Amy, here! 515 00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:41,363 Who's a clever Lord Sugar? Ah. 516 00:19:41,363 --> 00:19:44,203 OK, I've got him. Let's go. 517 00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:45,883 Oh, my God! 518 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:48,923 He was bloody miles away over by this bandstand. 519 00:19:48,923 --> 00:19:50,003 What? 520 00:19:52,443 --> 00:19:54,283 Oh. 521 00:19:54,283 --> 00:19:55,843 What...? Which dog is that? 522 00:19:57,643 --> 00:19:58,683 That's Lord Sugar. 523 00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:01,363 But, are you sure? 524 00:20:01,363 --> 00:20:04,043 That's not even a Cockapoo, Rachel. That's a Labradoodle. 525 00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:05,883 Well, I mean, for God's sake. 526 00:20:05,883 --> 00:20:07,123 Did you just take a dog? 527 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,643 Not on purpose. Oh, go on, then. Go on. 528 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:10,723 Yah! 529 00:20:10,723 --> 00:20:11,843 Yah? 530 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,203 It's not a horse in a Western. 531 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:15,563 You've got to take it back! 532 00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:17,203 Oh, we haven't got time. 533 00:20:17,203 --> 00:20:19,323 He'll find his own way back eventually, probably. 534 00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:21,403 She. She. She, she. 535 00:20:21,403 --> 00:20:22,723 It's a her. 536 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,243 And we can't just leave her here. 537 00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:26,523 Oh. She might get lost, the poor little bitch. 538 00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:28,723 What's happened? SAM: Mum's nicked a dog. 539 00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:30,083 AMY: What? By mistake. 540 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:32,443 I haven't got time to take it all the way back. 541 00:20:32,443 --> 00:20:35,243 The jungle thing closes in 85 minutes. 542 00:20:35,243 --> 00:20:37,483 There's a phone number on her collar. 543 00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:38,683 Oh. 544 00:20:38,683 --> 00:20:40,363 Yah! 545 00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:41,603 Stop staying yah! 546 00:20:41,603 --> 00:20:46,043 RINGING TONE 547 00:20:41,603 --> 00:20:46,043 OK, so, who'd like a snack 548 00:20:41,603 --> 00:20:46,043 just to cheer us all up? 549 00:20:46,043 --> 00:20:47,403 Oh, please, no more cakes, Mum. 550 00:20:47,403 --> 00:20:49,323 No, I brought fruit, actually. 551 00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,243 I listened, you see? 552 00:20:51,243 --> 00:20:53,283 Well, hang on, I've got fruit. I've got fruit! 553 00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:54,603 Yeah, I'll take a raspbo. 554 00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:56,883 Well, no, I've got...I've got raspberries from the garden! 555 00:20:56,883 --> 00:20:58,803 Yeah, but these are proper ones, from Asda. 556 00:20:58,803 --> 00:21:01,443 MINE are proper one... Mine are proper ones. I grew mine. 557 00:21:01,443 --> 00:21:03,883 Yeah, but these are all big and lovely. They are great. 558 00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:06,283 Well, eat mine. Please eat mine! 559 00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:08,843 OK, so no-one's answering and we're about to hit the motorway 560 00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:11,443 so it looks like we're taking Lady Sugar with us as well. 561 00:21:11,443 --> 00:21:14,283 And it would be nice if you ate some of your father's six raspberries. 562 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:16,963 Eight! Eight raspberries. You're not counting that one, surely? 563 00:21:16,963 --> 00:21:19,003 Well, seven and a half raspberries. Eat! Eat! 564 00:21:19,003 --> 00:21:21,683 Let's have a look, Paulo, the old rogues' gallery. 565 00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:24,203 Here we go. Ooh, they are very powdery, aren't they, mate? 566 00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:26,043 That's natural. That's natural powder. 567 00:21:26,043 --> 00:21:29,403 Seven raspberries. Is that all you managed to harvest? 568 00:21:29,403 --> 00:21:33,243 It's not me. It's the ladybirds. They did sweet F-all. 569 00:21:33,243 --> 00:21:34,683 They just flew away. 570 00:21:34,683 --> 00:21:37,483 I do have 14 gooseberries as well. 571 00:21:37,483 --> 00:21:39,843 Someone, please eat one. They're on the turn. 572 00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,523 Oh, God. You're really selling them 573 00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,523 to us, Dad. 574 00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,523 PHONE RINGS 575 00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:45,283 Oh, God, I've got this. Everyone shush, yeah? 576 00:21:47,403 --> 00:21:49,883 Hello? MAN ON PHONE: I missed your call. 577 00:21:49,883 --> 00:21:53,323 Yes, thank you for calling back. It was just to say, 578 00:21:53,323 --> 00:21:55,083 have you lost your dog? 579 00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,683 Yeah. My wife's looking for her now. 580 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:59,363 Because no...no need. He's with us. 581 00:21:59,363 --> 00:22:01,603 She. What? She. 582 00:22:01,603 --> 00:22:04,363 MAN ON PHONE: What? The dog. We've taken him. 583 00:22:04,363 --> 00:22:05,923 Her. What? Don't say taken. 584 00:22:05,923 --> 00:22:09,083 As in, we've not kidnaped him, we've... It's... We've... Her. 585 00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:13,203 It's just we accidentally thought it was our dog, so we took it. 586 00:22:13,203 --> 00:22:14,603 You've lost your dog? 587 00:22:14,603 --> 00:22:18,523 No, no. We have our dog, too. We have both...dogs. 588 00:22:18,523 --> 00:22:20,363 So why did you take mine? 589 00:22:20,363 --> 00:22:22,883 Completely. Great question. 590 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:24,523 It's hard to answer. 591 00:22:24,523 --> 00:22:27,003 We will of course return your dog, 592 00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:30,763 but maybe not right now if that's... Is that... Is that OK? 593 00:22:30,763 --> 00:22:32,563 No. I want my dog back now. 594 00:22:32,563 --> 00:22:34,843 Yeah, it's just, the thing is mate... 595 00:22:34,843 --> 00:22:36,763 Sorry, this is Paul, Rachel's husband. 596 00:22:36,763 --> 00:22:38,283 Rachel's the previous speaker. 597 00:22:38,283 --> 00:22:41,803 You're on speakerphone. Hi. Say hello, everyone. 598 00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:43,963 Hi. Hello. I'm Robin. 599 00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:47,283 Hi. Yes. Hello. We are on our way to Jungle Land. 600 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:49,883 World. World. Jungle World, is the thing. 601 00:22:49,883 --> 00:22:53,283 Right. Um, yeah, and we're running really late. 602 00:22:53,283 --> 00:22:56,323 We've actually missed some of our pre-booked activities. 603 00:22:56,323 --> 00:22:57,763 I realise that's not your problem. 604 00:22:57,763 --> 00:22:59,683 No, and we're about to hit the motorway. 605 00:22:59,683 --> 00:23:01,123 And we're about to hit the motorway, mate, 606 00:23:01,123 --> 00:23:03,683 so we're very much leaving the area, 607 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:07,323 so, you know, I was thinking perhaps we could bring him back in say, 608 00:23:07,323 --> 00:23:08,443 a couple of hours. 609 00:23:08,443 --> 00:23:09,483 Her. Her. Her. 610 00:23:09,483 --> 00:23:12,523 Her! Sorry. That would really help us out, mate. 611 00:23:12,523 --> 00:23:16,643 Um, it's a birthday present, you see? It was...a while ago but... 612 00:23:16,643 --> 00:23:19,123 Please? Mate. Matey? 613 00:23:19,123 --> 00:23:20,363 Matey? 614 00:23:20,363 --> 00:23:23,043 Return the dog now or I'll call the police. Yeah. 615 00:23:23,043 --> 00:23:25,083 163, 163. Is that it? 616 00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:26,603 That's it, yeah. 617 00:23:26,603 --> 00:23:27,923 OK, go, Paul, go, go. All right. 618 00:23:27,923 --> 00:23:29,603 Are you sure that's the right one, yeah? 619 00:23:29,603 --> 00:23:33,163 Yes, it's the right one. Bye, Lady Sugar. Nice to meet you. 620 00:23:33,163 --> 00:23:34,683 Oh, my God. 621 00:23:36,843 --> 00:23:40,123 Oh, OK. Yeah. 622 00:23:40,123 --> 00:23:42,963 We don't still have to go, you know. 623 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,563 It was more of a present for me, honestly. 624 00:23:46,803 --> 00:23:49,123 I think I just wanted to do some archery again. 625 00:23:50,283 --> 00:23:54,163 Show you that I'm still actually good at something. 626 00:23:54,163 --> 00:23:55,203 Aww. 627 00:23:56,243 --> 00:23:58,563 There's only mini-golf left. Look, I really won't mind. 628 00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:02,683 Paul. Look, we've had six months to do this. 629 00:24:02,683 --> 00:24:07,123 I cannot accept that we're that useless as a family. 630 00:24:07,123 --> 00:24:09,883 I mean, most of our plans are never going to happen. 631 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,963 Fine, I'm aware of that. But not ALL of them. 632 00:24:11,963 --> 00:24:14,563 We can't be THAT bad. We just can't. 633 00:24:15,643 --> 00:24:19,563 And I actually really love mini-golf. 634 00:24:19,563 --> 00:24:21,443 And you. 635 00:24:21,443 --> 00:24:23,323 In that order. 636 00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:33,963 Yes. 637 00:24:35,163 --> 00:24:36,483 Your dog. 638 00:24:36,483 --> 00:24:37,603 Cheers. 639 00:24:37,603 --> 00:24:39,803 Thank you. He was quite scary. 640 00:24:39,803 --> 00:24:41,483 OK, they're coming. 641 00:24:41,483 --> 00:24:45,163 Jungle World! OK. Look lively, everyone. OK, everyone, look for mini-golf. 642 00:24:45,163 --> 00:24:47,563 What time are we at? 4:54. Come on people, let's go! 643 00:24:47,563 --> 00:24:50,003 Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 644 00:24:50,003 --> 00:24:51,523 You stay here, Lord Sugar. 645 00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:52,723 OK, let's go. 646 00:24:52,723 --> 00:24:56,123 Yeah, great. Where is it, where is it? I don't know. 647 00:24:56,123 --> 00:24:58,443 Straight through. Mum, they're going to shut the shack. 648 00:24:58,443 --> 00:25:01,963 Oh, just go. I'll only slow you down. Play without me. 649 00:25:01,963 --> 00:25:04,643 No, Mum. We're not leaving you. We're going to do this together. 650 00:25:04,643 --> 00:25:07,043 Look, I actually don't want to play. 651 00:25:07,043 --> 00:25:10,163 I'm quite happy being the, you know, caddy. 652 00:25:10,163 --> 00:25:11,283 Oh, OK. 653 00:25:11,283 --> 00:25:13,283 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 654 00:25:13,283 --> 00:25:14,643 Wait, wait! Wowcher! Wowcher! 655 00:25:14,643 --> 00:25:16,643 Wowcher! Wowcher! Hang on! Hang on! 656 00:25:16,643 --> 00:25:18,363 I don't have it. 657 00:25:18,363 --> 00:25:20,323 Yes! Yes! I've got it. Yes! Yes! Come on! 658 00:25:20,323 --> 00:25:21,963 There you are, thank you so much. 659 00:25:21,963 --> 00:25:23,683 You know we do close at five, yeah? 660 00:25:23,683 --> 00:25:26,043 Yes. We do know that. We do know that, thank you. 661 00:25:26,043 --> 00:25:27,963 OK, guys, listen, go round as fast as you can, 662 00:25:27,963 --> 00:25:29,403 and do remember to keep score, 663 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,003 so we can work out who the winner is, OK? 664 00:25:31,003 --> 00:25:34,283 Why would that matter? Well, yeah, OK. You're right. 665 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:35,923 Oh, wow. Oh, my God. 666 00:25:35,923 --> 00:25:38,483 We're never going to get round the whole course in two minutes. 667 00:25:38,483 --> 00:25:40,283 Well, not with that attitude we're not, no. 668 00:25:40,283 --> 00:25:42,603 Well, let's just pick one hole and do that properly. 669 00:25:42,603 --> 00:25:44,603 As the actor said to the... 670 00:25:44,603 --> 00:25:46,443 Yeah. Let's pick the best hole. 671 00:25:46,443 --> 00:25:48,563 OK. I'll take the lion. Go, go, go! 672 00:25:48,563 --> 00:25:52,043 OK, elephant, elephant. Which is the best hole, mate? 673 00:25:52,043 --> 00:25:54,483 Just start at one, I reckon. Look at that, it's amazing. 674 00:25:54,483 --> 00:25:57,363 What's this one? The bridge, want to do the bridge? No. What's up there? 675 00:25:57,363 --> 00:26:00,123 I mean, this has got totem poles. The bear. Guys... I don't think so. 676 00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:01,203 No, this one's shit. 677 00:26:01,203 --> 00:26:03,043 Get on the path, Rachel! Stop going off road. 678 00:26:03,043 --> 00:26:05,323 I don't know why I'm running up here! I'm following you! 679 00:26:05,323 --> 00:26:08,003 Waterfall! Waterfall! Come on, Sam! Hurry up. 680 00:26:08,003 --> 00:26:10,603 I'm in the river, Paul! I don't think this is the best one. 681 00:26:10,603 --> 00:26:12,603 We know we've got this one. We can come back. 682 00:26:12,603 --> 00:26:14,523 This one hasn't even got a theme. What is it? 683 00:26:14,523 --> 00:26:17,043 MINI GOLF EMPLOYEE: Sorry, excuse me, we have to close up now. 684 00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:20,323 Oh. Over here! This one's got a snake. 685 00:26:20,323 --> 00:26:23,843 Snake! A snake! Oh, yes, Sue. Nice one. 686 00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:26,683 Quick. Quick! Cheers, mate. Right, Rachel, go, go. 687 00:26:26,683 --> 00:26:27,723 Go, go, go. 688 00:26:27,723 --> 00:26:30,403 Let's just try and do this one, if we can. OK. 689 00:26:30,403 --> 00:26:34,763 Sorry. Sorry, excuse me. I'm just going to take these back. 690 00:26:34,763 --> 00:26:37,883 Oh, no, no. Come on, mate. I've got to take the clubs back. It's closing time. 691 00:26:37,883 --> 00:26:39,643 Stop, stop, stop. Please, please. 692 00:26:39,643 --> 00:26:41,563 It's her birthday...six months ago. 693 00:26:41,563 --> 00:26:42,843 Can we just...? 694 00:26:42,843 --> 00:26:44,923 Go on, Rach. Play. 695 00:26:44,923 --> 00:26:46,403 Sorry, mate. Come on. 696 00:26:48,043 --> 00:26:49,203 Go on, Mum. 697 00:26:49,203 --> 00:26:50,323 Go on, Rach. 698 00:26:51,283 --> 00:26:52,603 Mashed potato! 699 00:26:52,603 --> 00:26:54,883 Come on. Don't hit that. Oh, yes. 700 00:26:54,883 --> 00:26:57,963 Oh, it's going to hit that rock. Ah, you've got... Oh, yes. Come on. 701 00:26:59,643 --> 00:27:02,083 Out she comes, out she comes. Hello, we've got a good speed up. 702 00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:04,683 Oh, it's nicked the... Hmm. 703 00:27:04,683 --> 00:27:06,963 Hang on. Oh, hello. Hello, Rach. 704 00:27:06,963 --> 00:27:08,323 No way. 705 00:27:08,323 --> 00:27:09,803 Um... Oh, my God. 706 00:27:11,203 --> 00:27:12,403 Oh, what! 707 00:27:12,403 --> 00:27:15,243 RACHEL: And that is mini-golf. 708 00:27:16,603 --> 00:27:19,763 THEY ALL CHEER 709 00:27:21,763 --> 00:27:22,883 I don't believe it! 710 00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:28,963 Sorry, Sorry. Hello, sorry. Can you pick that up, please? 711 00:27:28,963 --> 00:27:30,923 Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah. 712 00:27:30,923 --> 00:27:32,283 Yeah. 713 00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:33,763 Well done, Mum. 714 00:27:33,763 --> 00:27:37,403 That was one of the all-time great birthday presents. 715 00:27:37,403 --> 00:27:39,763 I actually really enjoyed it. Thanks, Mum. 716 00:27:39,763 --> 00:27:42,363 Well, thank your father. It was all him. 717 00:27:42,363 --> 00:27:44,283 We'll do it again next year. Yeah... 718 00:27:45,403 --> 00:27:47,883 Go on, then. Hmm? What funk should I listen to? 719 00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:52,123 Aha, now have you ever heard of the phrase Jamiroquai? 720 00:27:52,123 --> 00:27:54,403 Is that a person or a band? 721 00:27:54,403 --> 00:27:56,643 No, no. It's a way of life. 722 00:27:57,763 --> 00:27:59,443 Oh, Paul. 723 00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:02,483 I think Lord Sugar's done his business on your seat. 724 00:28:02,483 --> 00:28:04,803 Oh! Oh, for f... 725 00:28:05,763 --> 00:28:08,323 Oh, no. Sam, you're sitting in the front on the way home, OK? 726 00:28:08,323 --> 00:28:10,923 Ha-ha. What? That's a dump, that is. 727 00:28:10,923 --> 00:28:13,003 MUSIC: Too Young To Die by Jamiroquai 728 00:28:13,003 --> 00:28:15,923 # Da-da-do, da-da-do-do 729 00:28:15,923 --> 00:28:17,603 # Do-do-do-do 730 00:28:17,603 --> 00:28:20,683 # Da-da-da, da-da-do 731 00:28:20,683 --> 00:28:25,483 # Do-do-do-do-do, da-da-do, da-da-do-do 732 00:28:25,483 --> 00:28:29,723 # Do-do-do-do, da-da-da, da-da-do. #