1 00:00:01,163 --> 00:00:02,283 Amy, come on. 2 00:00:08,923 --> 00:00:11,003 Oh, my God. Oh, for God's sake. 3 00:00:12,003 --> 00:00:14,483 See you in a bit, OK? OK. Good luck. 4 00:00:14,483 --> 00:00:16,403 OK. We'll be back as soon as we can then. 5 00:00:16,403 --> 00:00:18,123 Argh, argh, argh. 6 00:00:18,123 --> 00:00:20,603 Oh. Paul, what's happened? 7 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,883 My quads. My quads have seized up... 8 00:00:22,883 --> 00:00:25,403 Oh, here we go. ..from sitting in the backseat. 9 00:00:25,403 --> 00:00:28,203 Oh, lord, oh, Paolo. I blame myself. 10 00:00:28,203 --> 00:00:29,923 Any idea when they'll seize down? 11 00:00:29,923 --> 00:00:32,123 Which ones are quads again? 12 00:00:32,123 --> 00:00:35,203 Legs, Mum, front legs. The things I'm currently rubbing. 13 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,603 Ah, these ones Sue. These ones. 14 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,123 And what about your bottom? 15 00:00:38,123 --> 00:00:40,843 Mum. Can you be quieter, please? 16 00:00:40,843 --> 00:00:42,523 Not from back here, no. 17 00:00:42,523 --> 00:00:44,483 SAM: We're going to be late, Mum. 18 00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:46,043 Yes. Thank you, Sam. 19 00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:49,403 Just don't worry. I'll get it, Rach, don't worry. I'll get him inside. 20 00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:50,683 How's your bottom, Paul? 21 00:00:50,683 --> 00:00:53,243 Oh. Mum, it's five to four. Mum. 22 00:00:53,243 --> 00:00:55,363 Yes, thank you. Thank you for your help, Amy. 23 00:00:55,363 --> 00:00:56,803 Well, what do you expect me to do? 24 00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:59,763 Well, maybe not lean against the car eating... Are those crisps? 25 00:00:59,763 --> 00:01:02,403 ..before your interview. Not really. They're Monster Munch. 26 00:01:02,403 --> 00:01:04,483 Just go. Go and get Amy her job. OK...OK, good luck. 27 00:01:04,483 --> 00:01:06,563 I'll get him in there. Have you got your speech? 28 00:01:06,563 --> 00:01:09,043 Yeah, it's in my jacket pocket. Yeah. Robin, what you doing? 29 00:01:09,043 --> 00:01:11,203 Aah. Carrying you, mate, fireman's lifting you in. 30 00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,963 He ain't heavy, he's my brother in law. 31 00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:14,443 Do you think it's going to work? 32 00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:16,163 Aaargh, ugh. No, it's not actually. 33 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:19,243 Ooh, God. Oh, you're heavier than you look, ain't you? 34 00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:20,963 Well, no. I'm about the same as I... 35 00:01:20,963 --> 00:01:24,043 Yeah, but you're dense though. Like sort of dark matter. 36 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,363 OK, good luck. Sam: Hang on, wait for me. 37 00:01:26,363 --> 00:01:27,563 Dark matter? 38 00:01:27,563 --> 00:01:32,163 You still haven't answered my question about your bottom, Paul. 39 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:34,603 It's still hurting, Mum, thank you. 40 00:01:34,603 --> 00:01:36,923 Come on, come on, Paul. I'll get it. I got you, 41 00:01:36,923 --> 00:01:40,203 I got you. Ooh, just take little steps, like Pingu. 42 00:01:40,203 --> 00:01:41,883 Archery time! 43 00:01:41,883 --> 00:01:44,163 No, that's a bit much. That's a bit much, Sam. 44 00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:45,243 Hi. 45 00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,683 SAM: That's creepy. Um... 46 00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,643 Do you want me to start on the trophy? 47 00:01:48,643 --> 00:01:50,123 Yeah, let's start on the tro... 48 00:01:51,163 --> 00:01:53,563 What's up, archery fans? 49 00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:58,363 My name is Olympic archer Paul Jessop, as you know, 50 00:01:58,363 --> 00:02:01,443 and this is my Paul4Ar... Oh. 51 00:02:01,443 --> 00:02:04,483 Paul4Archery channel. 52 00:02:04,483 --> 00:02:07,603 Please do subscribe below. 53 00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:12,283 Now today I'm talking fingers, finger exercises, 54 00:02:12,283 --> 00:02:13,843 finger health, 55 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:18,283 so this is my standard finger workout. Warm up. 56 00:02:18,283 --> 00:02:21,403 So this is my standard finger warm-up. 57 00:02:22,803 --> 00:02:24,083 We can just cut that together. 58 00:02:24,083 --> 00:02:29,083 Huge part of archery, these guys, the talons, yeah. 59 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,563 Really want to feel it in the tendons. 60 00:02:31,563 --> 00:02:33,843 Yeah, do you know want to fire an arrow or something Dad? 61 00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:35,843 Oh, just can we... Can you stop interrupting? 62 00:02:35,843 --> 00:02:38,043 Guys, please! I was nailing that one. 63 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:40,083 Wow, that was you nailing it, was it? 64 00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:42,003 Yeah. It's got to be more active, Dad. 65 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:45,163 This is just a bit, you know, no offence, but boring. 66 00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:47,883 Er, it... Have you ever been on the internet, Sam? 67 00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:50,963 It's mostly boring, OK? People like it boring. 68 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:53,683 Do you know what the most popular thing on the internet is? 69 00:02:53,683 --> 00:02:55,563 People taking photos of their own face. 70 00:02:55,563 --> 00:02:58,323 That's how boring it is. Please! Please, love! Yeah, I know Dad. 71 00:02:58,323 --> 00:03:00,683 I'm 15. You don't need to mansplain the internet to me. 72 00:03:00,683 --> 00:03:03,643 Well, I'm not, and you're also a man, so I can't mansplain to another man. 73 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:06,643 The finger thing is quite boring, hon, and creepy. 74 00:03:06,643 --> 00:03:10,363 Can we all stop back-seat driving my YouTube channel, please? 75 00:03:10,363 --> 00:03:13,643 It's niche, sure, but that's how online influencing works. 76 00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:17,283 You...you get everyone who's into a niche thing together, 77 00:03:17,283 --> 00:03:19,563 OK, be it archery or... 78 00:03:19,563 --> 00:03:20,803 Teabagging. 79 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,243 Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not right. 80 00:03:23,243 --> 00:03:25,843 Why don't people get real jobs any more? 81 00:03:25,843 --> 00:03:27,243 Actually, yes. Um, where's Amy? 82 00:03:27,243 --> 00:03:30,243 I'm meant to be helping her with some job applications. 83 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,003 Er, she's gone for a walk. 84 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,203 A what? A walk? Amy doesn't walk, does she? 85 00:03:35,203 --> 00:03:36,843 I mean, she can. 86 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:40,203 I'll tell you, Paul, when I was growing up, 87 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:43,963 people had proper jobs, you know, like butcher, baker. 88 00:03:43,963 --> 00:03:47,763 Or candlestick maker. I know, Sue, but times change. 89 00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,803 We can no longer consult nursery rhymes 90 00:03:49,803 --> 00:03:52,003 for effective careers advice, sadly. DOORBELL RINGS 91 00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:53,883 Oh, good. Finally. 92 00:03:53,883 --> 00:03:57,083 Well, our ancestors were all lumpers. 93 00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:59,603 What? What are lumpers? 94 00:03:59,603 --> 00:04:02,203 You know, stevedores. 95 00:04:03,563 --> 00:04:05,683 What the hell are you talking about? 96 00:04:05,683 --> 00:04:07,043 Oh, that's tight. 97 00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:09,563 That is tight. Oh, Robin, Dean, Cherry, hi. Hi. 98 00:04:09,563 --> 00:04:12,163 All right, Rachel? Looking good. 99 00:04:12,163 --> 00:04:14,443 Like a Jedi or something. Thank you. Why are you in, erm...? 100 00:04:14,443 --> 00:04:16,683 Yeah, we've been cycling. Me and Dean have, not Cherry. 101 00:04:16,683 --> 00:04:17,923 Oh, right. 102 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,563 I prefer cars. 103 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,123 All right, Paolo. Got your milk. 104 00:04:21,123 --> 00:04:22,283 Yeah... 105 00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:24,643 Hiya, Sue. Oh, new hip in yet, is it? 106 00:04:24,643 --> 00:04:25,963 Erm, three weeks' time. 107 00:04:25,963 --> 00:04:27,683 Oh! Oh, my God, Robin. 108 00:04:27,683 --> 00:04:29,483 Why are your clothes so tight? 109 00:04:29,483 --> 00:04:31,443 Cycling gear, so it's Lycra. 110 00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,083 That's illegal, isn't it? 111 00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,083 LAUGHTER 112 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,523 I know. 113 00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:37,243 I have told him. I can see all his bits. 114 00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,643 DEAN: The three amigos! 115 00:04:38,643 --> 00:04:40,283 SUE: Yeah, it's like a boil-in-the-bag. 116 00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:42,203 Stop looking at it. Sam, could you... 117 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:43,443 Don't film down there. 118 00:04:43,443 --> 00:04:44,603 It's all sweaty and all. 119 00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:46,563 No, nonsense, mate. You film what you like, brother. 120 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:47,603 I've got nothing to hide. 121 00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:49,563 THEY WHOOP AND CHEER 122 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:54,843 No, I'm not being rude, but you're here. Why are you here? 123 00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:57,683 Oh, yeah, sorry, just we're in the middle of a 25K river trail 124 00:04:57,683 --> 00:05:00,563 around the corner, and I realised I needed a little pit stop. 125 00:05:00,563 --> 00:05:01,603 Shit stop. 126 00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:03,843 Hey! Only number one. OK... 127 00:05:03,843 --> 00:05:06,323 But, yeah, I do, so I thought I'd, er... Ah, come and do it here. 128 00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:08,243 Yeah, fantastic. Go for it. 129 00:05:08,243 --> 00:05:10,123 You can actually do it in the Lycra if you have to. 130 00:05:10,123 --> 00:05:12,203 It won't go anywhere cos it's sort of vacuum-packed, 131 00:05:12,203 --> 00:05:14,403 just, like, sloshes around or whatever. Oh. 132 00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:16,883 SUE: So you're not cycling then, Cheryl? 133 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:21,563 No. I'm following in the Suzuki. Ah. 134 00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,963 Yeah, Cherry's in the support vehicle, Sue. 135 00:05:23,963 --> 00:05:26,043 It's so bloody slow. Well... 136 00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:27,643 I keep getting honked. 137 00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:28,723 And bored. 138 00:05:28,723 --> 00:05:30,683 Yeah, but it's nice to do stuff together, though, babe. 139 00:05:30,683 --> 00:05:33,523 I go salsa with you, you come training with me. 140 00:05:33,523 --> 00:05:34,763 I'm not with you, though, am I? 141 00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:37,603 I'm in the car, watching your little bum pumping away. 142 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:39,123 It's rubbish. Sounds all right! 143 00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:41,043 PAUL: So, how long you been cycling, Robin? 144 00:05:41,043 --> 00:05:42,563 Since the dawn of time, mate. 145 00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:43,923 No, just the last couple of years. 146 00:05:43,923 --> 00:05:45,963 But I tell you what - feel these calves. 147 00:05:45,963 --> 00:05:48,283 Honestly, they're absolute cows, aren't they, babe? 148 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:49,323 Yeah, in a bad way. 149 00:05:49,323 --> 00:05:51,763 He's had to chuck out the skinny jeans that I got him. 150 00:05:51,763 --> 00:05:53,243 Oh... That's a shame. Wow. Yeah? 151 00:05:53,243 --> 00:05:56,203 OK... This is weird. There you are. 152 00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:58,083 Meant to be doing these application forms. 153 00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:01,083 Yeah, I know. That's why I went out. I very much don't want to. 154 00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,283 Great! I'm so glad I'm going to be late for work 155 00:06:03,283 --> 00:06:05,443 to give you pro bono careers advice. 156 00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:07,003 Have to find another time. 157 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:08,643 All right, gorgeous? 158 00:06:08,643 --> 00:06:10,203 Really? I'm 19. 159 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,763 Heh, I'm still waiting for the bad news! 160 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,123 I'm gay. That do it? 161 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,563 Yep. That'll do, yeah. 162 00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:17,003 Is that my old T-shirt? 163 00:06:17,003 --> 00:06:18,603 So? You don't wear it any more. 164 00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:21,203 Well, can you please ask me before stealing my stuff, please? 165 00:06:21,203 --> 00:06:24,243 Oh, my God. I should shave 'em, really. Actually, Paul, I've got 166 00:06:24,243 --> 00:06:26,763 your dad's old bike in the shed from the '60s. 167 00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:27,963 Oh, aye, the '60s? 168 00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:30,323 What is it, a penny farthing? LAUGHTER 169 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,483 No, it's a proper racer. A Falcon. 170 00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:34,803 Oh... 171 00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:37,043 Falcon? Falcons are quality, mate. 172 00:06:37,043 --> 00:06:38,163 Yeah. 173 00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:42,883 Well, my Les absolutely loved it until his piles came through 174 00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:44,443 and then he had to stop. 175 00:06:44,443 --> 00:06:46,763 "Came through"? Piles aren't like teeth, Sue. 176 00:06:46,763 --> 00:06:50,123 Er, Les's were. He could have eaten an apple with them. 177 00:06:52,563 --> 00:06:54,803 So, which bike's yours, then, Robin? Yeah, the green one. 178 00:06:54,803 --> 00:06:57,563 I'll show you the green machine. The Snot-mobile. The old Snot-mobile. 179 00:06:57,563 --> 00:07:01,363 Amy! Can you not leave your coats lying around, please? 180 00:07:01,363 --> 00:07:03,123 Wow, you guys aren't mucking about. Lean and green. 181 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,643 I might have to, er...might have to come out with you one of these days. 182 00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:07,483 Oh, yes, Paolo! That's fightin' talk, innit? 183 00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:09,443 Join the peloton, brother. I can...I can cycle. 184 00:07:09,443 --> 00:07:11,003 Strap on the stabilisers and off we go! 185 00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:13,163 I got rid of them when I was eight, mate, so, er... 186 00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:15,443 Eight? That's a bit late, innit? Is it? That IS late, yeah. 187 00:07:15,443 --> 00:07:16,483 OK, OK, Amy. 188 00:07:16,483 --> 00:07:18,123 OK, come on. 189 00:07:18,123 --> 00:07:19,603 We're late. 190 00:07:19,603 --> 00:07:23,083 Oh, Amy, you're covered in whatever Monster Munch is made out of. 191 00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:24,683 I can't believe it's potato. 192 00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:27,843 Can someone grab my walker from the back, please? 193 00:07:27,843 --> 00:07:29,683 Oh... Mum, quick. 194 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,883 Rachel! Rach! 195 00:07:34,283 --> 00:07:36,083 You'll have to catch us up, Sue! 196 00:07:39,883 --> 00:07:41,443 Hello. Sorry. Hi. 197 00:07:41,443 --> 00:07:44,723 We've got an appointment with Kim Sinclair at four o'clock. 198 00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:49,603 Yeah, sorry, we're a little late, er... Stuck in traffic. 199 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,683 What's the name? BOTH: Amy Jessop. 200 00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:54,083 She's Amy Jessop, yes. I'm her mother. 201 00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:56,963 And also, erm, an old friend of Kim's. 202 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,243 School friend. 203 00:07:58,243 --> 00:08:00,203 So I thought maybe we could hang around and... 204 00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:01,363 Well, no waiting. 205 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:03,363 Well, no, we'll be really quiet. You won't know we're here. 206 00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:04,563 Help me, Rachel! 207 00:08:04,563 --> 00:08:05,883 Oh... 208 00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:08,683 Me walker's stuck in the door! Help me! Oh, God. Yeah... 209 00:08:09,843 --> 00:08:12,763 Now, the saddle is very firm. Mm. 210 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:14,563 Mm-hm. Good. 211 00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:16,923 Good. Firm's good. Firm but fair. PHONE CHIMES 212 00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:18,323 Erm... We... 213 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,163 Ooh! Ooh, yes! 214 00:08:20,163 --> 00:08:24,603 Yeah! I've got one more subscriber to my Paul4Archery channel. 215 00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:26,803 Grr! That is great news. 216 00:08:26,803 --> 00:08:28,643 SAM: Yeah, proper influencers tend 217 00:08:28,643 --> 00:08:30,323 not to celebrate them individually, Dad. 218 00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:31,363 PAUL: Huh? 219 00:08:31,363 --> 00:08:33,843 Yeah, and the bell, the bell still works. Look. 220 00:08:33,843 --> 00:08:36,003 SAM: Maybe you could use the bike on your channel, Dad, instead 221 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:38,203 of those really boring finger exercises? 222 00:08:38,203 --> 00:08:39,443 PAUL: Yeah, that's a good idea. 223 00:08:39,443 --> 00:08:41,683 You know, a whole-body fitness video. Yeah. 224 00:08:41,683 --> 00:08:43,683 Maximise my subscriber reach. 225 00:08:43,683 --> 00:08:46,243 Well, it would be good to break into double figures, certainly. 226 00:08:46,243 --> 00:08:49,003 Well, I've actually got 14, so there. 227 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:51,643 Yeah, either way, can you stop dinging your bell, please? 228 00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,243 We're meant to be doing Amy's mock job interview. All right. 229 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,563 Can I finish my cereal first? 230 00:08:55,563 --> 00:08:59,403 No, I've been waiting 40 minutes as it is. We're doing it right now. 231 00:08:59,403 --> 00:09:00,723 Amy, cereal? 232 00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:02,283 It's 2pm. 233 00:09:02,283 --> 00:09:05,523 So? You don't have to eat cereal at breakfast, Granny. 234 00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:07,483 You can have it whenever you want. 235 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,843 Well, that's PC gone mad. 236 00:09:09,843 --> 00:09:11,003 Erm... 237 00:09:11,003 --> 00:09:13,243 No, it isn't, but... 238 00:09:13,243 --> 00:09:15,323 Ready? Yeah? 239 00:09:15,323 --> 00:09:17,763 Can you tell Sam not to film it? 240 00:09:17,763 --> 00:09:19,003 Well, THEY might film it. 241 00:09:19,003 --> 00:09:20,123 Well, yes, very true. 242 00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:22,403 They might film it, so this is good practice. 243 00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:24,723 OK, so, here we go. 244 00:09:24,723 --> 00:09:27,523 Is she going to be wearing that T-shirt for the interview? 245 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,443 What's that? My Rage Against The Machine T-shirt 246 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,163 from the mid-'90s? Hopefully not, no. 247 00:09:31,163 --> 00:09:32,283 Why? What's wrong with it? 248 00:09:32,283 --> 00:09:34,123 Well, I don't know. Off the top of my head, 249 00:09:34,123 --> 00:09:36,723 going to a job interview with Che Guevara on your clothes 250 00:09:36,723 --> 00:09:39,123 might make them question your commitment to the role of admin 251 00:09:39,123 --> 00:09:41,803 assistant and, indeed, capitalism in general. 252 00:09:41,803 --> 00:09:45,403 Oh, is that who it is? Do you know, I thought it was Frank Spencer. 253 00:09:46,723 --> 00:09:49,003 What? You know, the beret. 254 00:09:49,003 --> 00:09:50,923 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 255 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,723 To be fair, you wouldn't want to employ either of them, would you? 256 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:54,963 No, no! 257 00:09:54,963 --> 00:09:58,883 No, you should be wearing a skirt, Amy, and a blouse. 258 00:09:58,883 --> 00:10:00,403 A blouse? Seriously? 259 00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:03,683 Yeah, with a smart handbag that matches your shoes. 260 00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:05,563 OK, well, we'll discuss wardrobe later. 261 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,963 If we could just, please, let's get...let's get on with it. 262 00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:10,483 OK, so, Amy... 263 00:10:11,683 --> 00:10:13,723 ..tell me about yourself. 264 00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:15,683 Uhh... 265 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,043 ..I'm tall. 266 00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,443 I'm a Libra. 267 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,563 Mm-hm. I'm going to uni at Swansea next year... OK. 268 00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:24,123 ..because my girlfriend goes there. No, but don't...don't say that. 269 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,443 That makes it sound like that's the only reason you're going. 270 00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:28,403 It is. Yeah, don't tell them you're going to Swansea. 271 00:10:28,403 --> 00:10:29,923 That might make them not want to hire you. 272 00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:32,043 Talk about your personality. 273 00:10:32,043 --> 00:10:33,483 Right, yeah. Um... 274 00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:35,083 ..I'm impatient. 275 00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:37,363 I get bored easily. OK. 276 00:10:37,363 --> 00:10:38,563 I'm quite lazy. 277 00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:40,563 Why would you tell them that? 278 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:41,603 Cos she IS lazy. 279 00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:43,803 Yes, I know she is, Sam, but don't tell them that! 280 00:10:43,803 --> 00:10:45,683 Let them find that out for themselves. 281 00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:48,483 Talk about your...your skills. 282 00:10:48,483 --> 00:10:52,123 Well, I can roll my tongue. OK. 283 00:10:52,123 --> 00:10:55,963 And I know the name of that really long Welsh town, if that's useful. 284 00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:58,163 Why would that be useful? Oh, go on, then. 285 00:10:58,163 --> 00:10:59,723 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 286 00:10:59,723 --> 00:11:03,963 Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn- drobwllllantysiliogogogoch. 287 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,883 Ha-ha! Well done! You should definitely do that! 288 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,323 No, don't do that. Don't do that. 289 00:11:08,323 --> 00:11:10,163 Amy, you've got to sell yourself, yeah? 290 00:11:10,163 --> 00:11:13,243 Talk about chess club or, you know, learning the harp briefly. 291 00:11:13,243 --> 00:11:15,523 You know, anything that sets you apart. 292 00:11:15,523 --> 00:11:17,243 It's really competitive out there. 293 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:21,723 And if you want...want Sinclair Business Process Outsourcing 294 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,883 to take you seriously, then you've got to be passionate 295 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:26,203 and dynamic and... 296 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:28,243 Sinclair? Hang on... 297 00:11:28,243 --> 00:11:32,123 Oh, my God. This is Kim Sinclair's business. Yeah, and? 298 00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:34,363 Oh... I know her! 299 00:11:34,363 --> 00:11:35,923 I've known her for years. 300 00:11:35,923 --> 00:11:37,763 Oh, my God, this is great. You'll be a shoo-in. 301 00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:38,923 Forget everything I said. 302 00:11:38,923 --> 00:11:40,923 This is how people actually get jobs in this country. 303 00:11:40,923 --> 00:11:43,083 It's with contacts. So, what, I don't need to practise 304 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,003 for the interview, then? No, forget it, forget it. 305 00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:47,083 Just say that you like working in a team and you won't leave 306 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:50,683 your coat lying around, you'll be fine. Cool. Great system. 307 00:11:50,683 --> 00:11:52,003 I'm having a bath, in that case. 308 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,643 Ah, this is great! 309 00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:56,363 Oh, my God, Rach. Have you got up to 15, have you? 310 00:11:56,363 --> 00:11:59,803 Huh? I'll hang your coat up then, Amy, shall I? 311 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,923 No, no, no, no. This is not another subscriber. 312 00:12:01,923 --> 00:12:04,043 This is big-boy shit. 313 00:12:04,043 --> 00:12:05,443 Oh, no. Oh, no. 314 00:12:05,443 --> 00:12:07,083 Oh, Paul, are you OK? 315 00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,683 Huh? Yeah. 316 00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:13,403 As in, my old school emailed, asking me... 317 00:12:13,403 --> 00:12:16,203 ..to give out the awards at the Year 11 sports day. 318 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,323 SAM: Well, yeah, because you asked them if you could. 319 00:12:18,323 --> 00:12:22,603 PAUL: Well, yeah, I offered, just as a favour, but this is immense! 320 00:12:22,603 --> 00:12:24,243 I can probably get you all free tickets. 321 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,403 SAM: Tickets? To a sports day? 322 00:12:26,403 --> 00:12:27,883 PAUL: Yeah! 323 00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:30,603 Oh, that's wonderful, Paul. I know. 324 00:12:30,603 --> 00:12:33,683 And are you going to be getting a prize, as well? 325 00:12:33,683 --> 00:12:35,563 Um... 326 00:12:35,563 --> 00:12:37,763 Nooo. No. 327 00:12:37,763 --> 00:12:41,283 But, you know, the point is, if you get the kids into something online, 328 00:12:41,283 --> 00:12:42,683 you can very quickly go viral, 329 00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:45,483 so I need to think about branded T-shirts, you know, 330 00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:48,443 big foam fingers, you know, maybe even foam feet or something. 331 00:12:48,443 --> 00:12:50,363 I don't know if you can do them. Mm. 332 00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:52,043 Er, Amy Jessop? 333 00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,483 Here! Yes. 334 00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,243 Kim. Kim, hi. 335 00:12:55,243 --> 00:12:56,843 Oh. Hi. Yes? 336 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,723 Er... 337 00:12:58,723 --> 00:12:59,923 Sorry? 338 00:12:59,923 --> 00:13:01,443 Rachel. 339 00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:03,523 Erm... Rachel Hankey. From school. 340 00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:05,563 Oh! Oh, yes. 341 00:13:05,563 --> 00:13:07,163 Erm, hi. Hi. 342 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:10,323 Sorry, are you here for the assistant job, as well, or...? 343 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,723 What? No. No. 344 00:13:11,723 --> 00:13:13,083 Amy's my daughter. Amy Jessop. 345 00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,443 Hi. Hi. 346 00:13:14,443 --> 00:13:15,923 Jessop's my married name. 347 00:13:15,923 --> 00:13:17,203 OK, OK. 348 00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:21,403 And the boy with the camera and the lady with the Zimmer frame, 349 00:13:21,403 --> 00:13:22,763 are they with you too or...? 350 00:13:22,763 --> 00:13:23,963 SAM: We are, yeah. 351 00:13:23,963 --> 00:13:25,763 Yes. Yes. Yes, we are. 352 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,683 Sue Jessop, granny. 353 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,683 Very proud granny. 354 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,083 And I've just had my hip replaced. 355 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:33,723 Oh, no. So how are you? 356 00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:35,603 How are you doing? It's been bloody yonks. 357 00:13:35,603 --> 00:13:36,843 How's Dave? 358 00:13:36,843 --> 00:13:38,283 It is Dave, isn't it? 359 00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:40,043 No, it's David. Right. 360 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,563 How is he? He's amazing, thank you. Just so busy. Ah. 361 00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:47,163 Yeah, he was made senior consultant a few months ago. 362 00:13:47,163 --> 00:13:49,283 Wow! Was he? Yeah, thanks. Yeah, yeah. 363 00:13:49,283 --> 00:13:50,323 What does your... 364 00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:51,843 Are you married? Yeah. 365 00:13:51,843 --> 00:13:53,203 Yeah, I am. Yeah. 366 00:13:53,203 --> 00:13:56,083 My husband's a former Olympic athlete, actually. 367 00:13:56,083 --> 00:13:57,683 Oh, wow! 368 00:13:57,683 --> 00:13:59,443 Yeah. Which...which event? 369 00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:01,483 Uh, outdoors. One of the track and field... 370 00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:03,003 Archery. It's archery, yeah. 371 00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:05,363 KIM CHUCKLES 372 00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:05,363 How funny. 373 00:14:05,363 --> 00:14:07,003 Yeah. Yes. It's funny. 374 00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,523 Amy's such a good girl. 375 00:14:08,523 --> 00:14:09,963 You're going to love her. 376 00:14:09,963 --> 00:14:11,083 Hopefully, yeah. 377 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:13,003 So, how are you? How are your children doing? 378 00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:15,043 Oh, so well, thank you. 379 00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:19,283 Yes, Seb is a prefect. A perfect, I call him. Ah, perfect! Year 11. 380 00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:24,123 And Constance is at Yale, majoring in political science. 381 00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:25,883 Ah! So... Yale. Yeah, thanks. 382 00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:28,283 Yeah, thanks. She's so driven. 383 00:14:28,283 --> 00:14:30,563 I mean, far too ambitious to stay in the UK 384 00:14:30,563 --> 00:14:34,363 and get any sort of office job or anything. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. 385 00:14:34,363 --> 00:14:37,243 What about you, Rachel? What are you doing? 386 00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:41,123 I heard that you'd given up being a careers adviser 387 00:14:41,123 --> 00:14:43,083 and you set up a cafe. 388 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,883 Yeah, a few years back. That's right, yeah. 389 00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:47,363 Oh, well, good...good for you. 390 00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:51,083 Yeah, I mean, being a careers adviser must be horrendous and, 391 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:54,323 you know, owning your own business, well, it's the best, isn't it? 392 00:14:54,323 --> 00:14:55,523 Hmm, no, definitely, yeah. 393 00:14:55,523 --> 00:14:58,363 Had to...had to close it, though, the cafe. 394 00:14:58,363 --> 00:15:00,363 Well, it's not for everyone, is it? 395 00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:03,323 So, what do you do now? Yeah, back in careers advice. Aww. 396 00:15:03,323 --> 00:15:06,363 Rightly or wrongly. Not really what I want, but... No. 397 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:09,323 ..probably need to talk to a careers adviser myself. Probably. 398 00:15:09,323 --> 00:15:10,523 Yeah, yeah. 399 00:15:10,523 --> 00:15:14,363 Maybe you should apply to be my assistant after all! 400 00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:15,843 KIM CHUCKLES 401 00:15:15,843 --> 00:15:18,483 No, it is tough. It's tough. Yeah. 402 00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:21,643 I mean, in some ways, you know, we've been so lucky, 403 00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:25,763 but I sort of think you make your own luck, really, don't you? Hmm. 404 00:15:25,763 --> 00:15:28,563 Erm, I've actually got a meeting at 4:30, Amy, so... 405 00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:30,443 Oh, sorry. Can we? Do you mind? 406 00:15:35,723 --> 00:15:40,003 Well, she's what my mother would have called a classic cow. 407 00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:42,243 ON PHONE: And what is it? 408 00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:44,963 Yeah, it's just a boring office job, 409 00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:48,083 assistant thing so... it'll be faeces. 410 00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:49,163 I don't even want it. 411 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:51,523 Sorry, guys. Can we just, erm... Oh, whoa! Wow! 412 00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:53,283 Sorry, my dad's wearing Lycra. 413 00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:54,563 SAM: Oh, my God. 414 00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:56,123 ON PHONE: Oh, please let me see! 415 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,123 Yeah, no. No, no-one should see this. 416 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,843 OK, Amy, can you put your phone down, please? 417 00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:01,283 What? Yes, please, can you? 418 00:16:01,283 --> 00:16:03,483 We need to talk about something. 419 00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:04,563 Yeah. All of us. 420 00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,843 OK, better go. I think my parents are getting divorced. 421 00:16:06,843 --> 00:16:09,083 No. No, we're not. No way. We're not getting divorced. 422 00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,603 Oh, great - more Christmas presents! 423 00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:14,043 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ah, very good, Maya. Take care, take care. 424 00:16:14,043 --> 00:16:17,243 OK, bye. Bye. Can you put the camera down, please, Sam? 425 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,043 All right. Come on, Sam. 426 00:16:19,043 --> 00:16:21,323 OK. Take a seat, Sam. All right. 427 00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:23,763 OK, so... 428 00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:25,883 Yeah, why are you wearing Lycra, though? 429 00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:27,283 Huh? 430 00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:29,563 Oh, I'm going out cycling with Robin. Yeah. 431 00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:32,243 It's just to sort of make me more aerodynamic. 432 00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:35,163 You? You may be the LEAST aerodynamic person in the world. 433 00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:36,803 Have you been using drugs? 434 00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:38,123 Hmm. What? 435 00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:42,523 No. Where the hell has that come from? 436 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,963 I just found it, OK? Before you say anything, I wasn't looking. 437 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,123 I just found it. Found what? 438 00:16:48,123 --> 00:16:51,043 Drugs...ruin... ..lives. 439 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,443 Do you understand me? Yeah, there's certainly no point applying 440 00:16:55,443 --> 00:16:57,363 for a job if you're an addict, Amy. 441 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:58,443 AMY SCOFFS 442 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:00,203 You know, drugs will take y-y-your... 443 00:17:00,203 --> 00:17:03,843 ..your money, your time... Teeth. ..your energy. What? 444 00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:10,563 Even a bit of puff can lead to blow and then it's down the K-hole. 445 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:13,203 Before you know it, you're smoking the dragon. 446 00:17:13,203 --> 00:17:15,003 Dragon? If that's... It's heroin, isn't it? 447 00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:16,723 I'm not taking drugs, Mum. 448 00:17:16,723 --> 00:17:20,323 Oh, just... Don't lie to us, Amy, please. Ugh. 449 00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:23,323 I could be banned for life by the International Olympic Committee 450 00:17:23,323 --> 00:17:24,803 for even having it in the house. 451 00:17:24,803 --> 00:17:27,883 Yeah, but you don't compete any more. If I was still competing. 452 00:17:27,883 --> 00:17:31,243 I found it in your coat, in the inside pocket, OK? 453 00:17:31,243 --> 00:17:33,163 Yeah, that's...that's not mine. 454 00:17:33,163 --> 00:17:34,803 Oh, come off it. 455 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:35,843 Please. 456 00:17:35,843 --> 00:17:38,723 Well, it's your old coat, Mum. 457 00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,803 I've just been borrowing it. 458 00:17:40,803 --> 00:17:42,923 I didn't even know it had an inside pocket. 459 00:17:46,163 --> 00:17:47,523 Is it your coat? 460 00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:49,123 Well, yeah, originally... 461 00:17:49,123 --> 00:17:52,243 ..but what are we saying, that I put it there in the '90s 462 00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:54,243 and then I forgot all about it? 463 00:17:54,243 --> 00:17:55,523 Because that's... 464 00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:56,683 I mean, that's... 465 00:18:00,323 --> 00:18:01,723 Yeah... 466 00:18:01,723 --> 00:18:03,763 I don't even touch drugs. They're for losers. 467 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:05,003 Well, they're... Yes, they are. 468 00:18:05,003 --> 00:18:06,483 Hmm, yeah... It's just hash. 469 00:18:06,483 --> 00:18:08,563 It's not even that's strong. But it's disgusting. 470 00:18:08,563 --> 00:18:11,203 Well, you know, if taken carefully with friends, 471 00:18:11,203 --> 00:18:13,563 hash can be really quite fun, actually, but I get your... 472 00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:16,603 Wait, sorry - are you warning us off drugs or suggesting we take them? 473 00:18:16,603 --> 00:18:20,523 Yeah. The message. Yes, I'm saying... 474 00:18:20,523 --> 00:18:22,923 Yeah, let's throw it out. 475 00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:24,883 It's probably gone off anyway. It's been there that long. 476 00:18:24,883 --> 00:18:26,323 It's wrapped in clingfilm, though... 477 00:18:26,323 --> 00:18:27,363 It must have gone off. 478 00:18:27,363 --> 00:18:28,643 Yeah, yeah. We could Google it. 479 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:29,803 No! No. Don't Google it. 480 00:18:29,803 --> 00:18:30,843 No. Heavens, no. No. 481 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,643 I could be arrested. 482 00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:33,683 SHE INHALES 483 00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:35,603 DOORBELL RINGS 484 00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:35,603 Oh, good. That's Robin. 485 00:18:35,603 --> 00:18:40,323 OK, Sam, I need you to come and film some action footage for the channel. 486 00:18:40,323 --> 00:18:41,403 Just say no! 487 00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:43,723 HEAVY METAL MUSIC 488 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,763 Yeah! 489 00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:51,923 Paul4Archery! 490 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:56,043 Hi! This is Paul Jessop from Paul4Archery. 491 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,963 Please do subscribe below. 492 00:18:57,963 --> 00:19:03,443 Now, today I'm working on my full-body fitness with some cycling. 493 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:07,323 If archery's all about the arms and the chest, then cycling 494 00:19:07,323 --> 00:19:10,883 is a great way to fill in those fitness gaps and spend some time 495 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,803 with our old friends, the legs. 496 00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:15,363 Let's do this. 497 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,043 All right, Dad. Got it. 498 00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:18,083 PAUL GASPS 499 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,643 LAUGHTER 500 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,643 You all right, Paolo? 501 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:23,043 The saddle. It's the saddle. 502 00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:25,003 It's really, er... 503 00:19:25,003 --> 00:19:26,203 I'm compromising, yeah? 504 00:19:26,203 --> 00:19:27,803 I think I'm getting a callus. 505 00:19:27,803 --> 00:19:28,963 Yeah, that will happen. 506 00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:31,803 My arse is basically one big callus now, to be honest. 507 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:34,163 Oh, the thighs as well. My thighs are on fire. 508 00:19:34,163 --> 00:19:35,203 Yeah. Mm. Yeah. 509 00:19:35,203 --> 00:19:39,083 Argh. Tell you what, you should join us for the old Ampthill-Bedford loop 510 00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:40,763 we're doing on Sunday morning. Steady on. 511 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,683 That'll certainly toughen up the old buns, Paolo. 512 00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,803 I don't think he's quite ready for that, is he? Look at him. 513 00:19:44,803 --> 00:19:46,283 What? I'm ready, boy. 514 00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,683 I was born ready. 515 00:19:47,683 --> 00:19:48,883 Oh! Watch your feet. 516 00:19:51,403 --> 00:19:52,483 Don't tell Rachel. 517 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,403 Yeah, so, er... 518 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:55,763 Heh, how long is that? 519 00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:56,963 What are we talking? 520 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,803 It's only a... I don't know, 45K or something? 521 00:19:58,803 --> 00:19:59,843 Yeah, it's a shorty. 522 00:19:59,843 --> 00:20:02,083 I'm down. Let's do it. 523 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:04,043 All right. Sweet. 524 00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:07,043 SAM: God, why is it so heavy? 525 00:20:07,043 --> 00:20:08,803 Have you packed an anvil or something? 526 00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:11,243 No, no. Just a few essentials. 527 00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:15,443 Jigsaw, me three Jack Reachers, Strepsils, me bins. 528 00:20:15,443 --> 00:20:16,843 That kind of thing. 529 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,443 "Bins" as in binoculars? 530 00:20:18,443 --> 00:20:20,563 Yeah. You'll not be doing any bird-watching, Sue, 531 00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:21,603 you'll be in hospital. 532 00:20:21,603 --> 00:20:24,043 Yeah, but I can ask for a window bed. 533 00:20:24,043 --> 00:20:26,243 No, that's not something you can do. 534 00:20:26,243 --> 00:20:28,003 Anyway, you'll be in and out. 535 00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:30,723 You're having a hip replacement, not going on a cruise. 536 00:20:30,723 --> 00:20:32,443 Well, you never know, do you? 537 00:20:32,443 --> 00:20:34,683 I've made a will just in case. 538 00:20:34,683 --> 00:20:35,763 Oh, can I have the car? 539 00:20:35,763 --> 00:20:37,443 No! I want the car! 540 00:20:37,443 --> 00:20:38,683 Granny, I should get the car. 541 00:20:38,683 --> 00:20:40,563 No-one's having the car. 542 00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,883 She's going to be absolutely fine. 543 00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:46,603 Amy, get a job and you'll be able to buy your own car. 544 00:20:46,603 --> 00:20:48,163 Ugh. Thanks for helping me. 545 00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:49,523 ENGINE REVS 546 00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:50,843 Oh, my God! 547 00:20:50,843 --> 00:20:51,963 HORN BLARES 548 00:20:51,963 --> 00:20:53,603 Man down, man down! Everything's going to be OK. 549 00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:54,883 Let's get this door open! 550 00:20:54,883 --> 00:20:56,203 What do you mean, "Man down"? 551 00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:57,923 It's going to be OK, mate. Oh, my God! 552 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,123 Don't slide him! What's happened? 553 00:21:00,123 --> 00:21:01,323 PAUL YELPS 554 00:21:01,323 --> 00:21:03,323 SUE: Oh, no! Oh, me lovely Paul! 555 00:21:03,323 --> 00:21:04,963 Everything's going to be OK. 556 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,843 It all got a bit much for Paolo and he sort of seized up, 557 00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,523 didn't he, babe? 558 00:21:08,523 --> 00:21:11,403 Yeah, and he's got a bit of a bum bleed going on and all. 559 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:14,563 Thankfully, though, my seats are leatherette so I can 560 00:21:14,563 --> 00:21:15,763 just wipe 'em down. 561 00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:17,203 Oh, are you all right, Paul? 562 00:21:17,203 --> 00:21:20,003 Yeah, yeah, I'm OK. I just took on too much, that's all. 563 00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:21,523 His eyes were bigger than his legs. 564 00:21:21,523 --> 00:21:22,563 And his arse, to be fair! 565 00:21:22,563 --> 00:21:24,763 I could do with some Savlon, though. Has anyone got any Savlon? 566 00:21:24,763 --> 00:21:27,243 Oh, Savlon. I've got Savlon. Sammy, in me suitcase, 567 00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:28,483 I've got a big tub of it. 568 00:21:28,483 --> 00:21:29,603 What do you think it was, then? 569 00:21:29,603 --> 00:21:32,163 Well, yeah, it was an incredibly long route, Rachel. 570 00:21:32,163 --> 00:21:34,283 It's 45K. You stopped at 11, mate. 571 00:21:34,283 --> 00:21:35,523 It'll be friction. 572 00:21:35,523 --> 00:21:37,923 You know, some kind of saddle sore on the buns. 573 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:40,243 SUE: No, it'll be piles. I know it. 574 00:21:40,243 --> 00:21:41,803 Huh? Yeah. Piles? Yeah. 575 00:21:41,803 --> 00:21:44,203 What? Let me see. No, don't... It can't be, can it? Huh? 576 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:47,843 Oh, yeah, definitely piles. I can see through the Lycra. 577 00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:49,723 I can see them. Really? 578 00:21:49,723 --> 00:21:51,043 Hey, no! Stop it, stop it! 579 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,643 Stop looking! Mum, please! Can I just get inside, please, ladies? 580 00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:56,083 Well, no, we were about to take Sue to hospital for her hip operation, 581 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,403 so... Oh, God, Mum, yeah, of course. I'm sorry, I... 582 00:21:58,403 --> 00:22:01,203 Yeah, well, I think you should come too, then they can check your 583 00:22:01,203 --> 00:22:02,923 undercarriage when they're doing my hip. 584 00:22:02,923 --> 00:22:05,483 I think that's smart. That's wise. I think that's wise. 585 00:22:05,483 --> 00:22:07,563 That's all right, I just need to stretch out my quads, 586 00:22:07,563 --> 00:22:08,603 you know, and it'll be fine. 587 00:22:08,603 --> 00:22:10,123 I mean, at least, I hope it's fine - 588 00:22:10,123 --> 00:22:12,363 I've got that sports day on Wednesday. Yeah, you'll be fine. 589 00:22:12,363 --> 00:22:13,483 You'll be fine. Just, can you... 590 00:22:13,483 --> 00:22:15,483 Sam, don't film him when he's like this. 591 00:22:16,923 --> 00:22:20,163 Dad's sports day's starting any second, Mum. Yep, thanks, Sam. 592 00:22:22,763 --> 00:22:24,203 How'd it go? Didn't get it. OK. 593 00:22:27,443 --> 00:22:28,683 Oh, OK, quick. 594 00:22:28,683 --> 00:22:29,923 It's already started. 595 00:22:29,923 --> 00:22:32,483 OK, and now, handing out the prizes themselves, 596 00:22:32,483 --> 00:22:37,283 I'd like you all to welcome a real local sporting hero, an Olympian 597 00:22:37,283 --> 00:22:43,323 who competed for Great Britain in the 2004 Olympic Games in archery. 598 00:22:43,323 --> 00:22:47,523 He is the greatest athlete that Brickhill Park School has ever 599 00:22:47,523 --> 00:22:50,323 produced, according to his website. 600 00:22:50,323 --> 00:22:52,683 Please give it up for, er... 601 00:22:52,683 --> 00:22:54,563 ..Paul Jessop! 602 00:22:54,563 --> 00:22:56,643 APPLAUSE 603 00:22:54,563 --> 00:22:56,643 Yes! 604 00:22:58,003 --> 00:22:59,123 Woo! 605 00:23:00,803 --> 00:23:01,923 PAUL GROANS 606 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:03,883 Just keep on moving, keep on moving... 607 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,883 PAUL WHIMPERS 608 00:23:05,883 --> 00:23:07,083 Yep... 609 00:23:11,003 --> 00:23:14,803 HE GROANS AND WHIMPERS 610 00:23:17,123 --> 00:23:18,363 HE FARTS 611 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:19,483 Oh, my God. 612 00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,123 I'm cool. 613 00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,123 APPLAUSE 614 00:23:22,123 --> 00:23:24,003 I'm cool, I'm cool. 615 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,043 I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool. 616 00:23:26,043 --> 00:23:27,083 I'm cool. 617 00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,283 HE YELPS 618 00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:31,323 Jesus. 619 00:23:33,443 --> 00:23:34,483 Thank you. 620 00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:37,163 WEAKLY: Thank you. 621 00:23:39,683 --> 00:23:42,123 As an elite-level sportsman... 622 00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:48,883 STRAINING: ..I need to keep my mind and body in tiptop shape. 623 00:23:48,883 --> 00:23:50,763 Oh, my God, I can't watch. 624 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,163 I'm going to find the loo. 625 00:23:52,163 --> 00:23:57,163 My new tube... My new YouTube channel, Paul4Archery... 626 00:23:57,163 --> 00:24:00,043 HE STUTTERS 627 00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:01,683 A 4 for the word "for". 628 00:24:03,683 --> 00:24:07,763 ..is a one-stop shop to hone both your interest in archery 629 00:24:07,763 --> 00:24:11,203 and your overall bodily fitnessss... 630 00:24:12,323 --> 00:24:16,163 ..with my regular instructional and inspirational videos. 631 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,203 I'm going to have to sit down, sir. 632 00:24:18,203 --> 00:24:19,923 I'm so, so sorry, everyone. 633 00:24:19,923 --> 00:24:21,923 Robin, my bag. Yeah. 634 00:24:21,923 --> 00:24:23,763 Let's get on the bag. 635 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,963 PAUL GRUNTS 636 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,963 OK. 637 00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:28,763 Oh, no. That looks good. Not the bow. 638 00:24:28,763 --> 00:24:30,403 Er, thank you, Paul. 639 00:24:30,403 --> 00:24:31,963 Thank you, everyone. 640 00:24:31,963 --> 00:24:35,843 OK, so the first award is for the 1,500 metres, 641 00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:39,283 which was won by Sebastian Sinclair-Hall! 642 00:24:39,283 --> 00:24:40,323 Woo! Yeah? 643 00:24:42,043 --> 00:24:43,883 He's also won 800 metres. 644 00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:47,043 Aww. Well done, darling! 645 00:24:47,043 --> 00:24:48,083 Woo! 646 00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:50,963 Woo! 647 00:24:53,603 --> 00:24:55,803 Well done, darling. 648 00:24:55,803 --> 00:24:58,523 Big sort of meeting you had to get to, was it, yeah? Oh! 649 00:24:58,523 --> 00:25:00,083 Hello again. Yeah. 650 00:25:00,083 --> 00:25:03,203 No, I just wanted to see Sebby collect his award. Oh. 651 00:25:03,203 --> 00:25:04,843 We're a very supportive family. 652 00:25:06,203 --> 00:25:11,643 That's your, erm, Olympian husband, is it? Up there on the bean bag? 653 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:13,803 Er... Uh-huh. 654 00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:17,363 You know, Kim, I get that we might not have been the best of friends 655 00:25:17,363 --> 00:25:20,643 at school, but... We weren't friends at all, Rachel. 656 00:25:20,643 --> 00:25:22,923 You used to call me Kim Shit-hair. 657 00:25:22,923 --> 00:25:24,283 No... No... 658 00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:27,003 That was a few of us. 659 00:25:27,003 --> 00:25:29,883 And your haircut at the time was a bit... 660 00:25:29,883 --> 00:25:33,163 We hung out, though, at lunch. 661 00:25:33,163 --> 00:25:36,443 Not really. No. No, you were usually off getting stoned. 662 00:25:37,803 --> 00:25:41,083 Well, even so, that's no reason to take it out on my daughter. 663 00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,563 Sorry, er, what do you mean? 664 00:25:42,563 --> 00:25:43,883 It's a basic office job. 665 00:25:43,883 --> 00:25:45,043 She could do it in her sleep. 666 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:46,563 Oh, it wasn't because of you. 667 00:25:46,563 --> 00:25:48,203 No, I didn't give her the job 668 00:25:48,203 --> 00:25:51,803 because she said it sounded "very boring" and that she didn't want 669 00:25:51,803 --> 00:25:54,483 to work for a - and I quote - "massive bitch". 670 00:25:54,483 --> 00:25:58,643 So, as a career adviser, you might want to work on her attitude. 671 00:25:58,643 --> 00:26:01,083 There you go. Well done. 672 00:25:58,643 --> 00:26:01,083 APPLAUSE 673 00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:05,283 Sebby, well done! Just so proud. We're both so proud of you. 674 00:26:05,283 --> 00:26:09,083 OK, moving on to something won by someone else, 675 00:26:09,083 --> 00:26:13,723 er, and this award going to the 600 metres swimming... 676 00:26:16,723 --> 00:26:20,003 A few people questioning Dad's athletic prowess in the toilets. 677 00:26:22,403 --> 00:26:25,123 What? What is it? 678 00:26:25,123 --> 00:26:26,803 I'm very proud of you, you know. 679 00:26:28,403 --> 00:26:29,643 What for? 680 00:26:29,643 --> 00:26:31,203 Just for who you are. 681 00:26:33,803 --> 00:26:35,003 OK. 682 00:26:35,003 --> 00:26:36,083 APPLAUSE 683 00:26:41,323 --> 00:26:43,363 I'm never doing a fitness video ever again. 684 00:26:43,363 --> 00:26:45,923 Yeah. My body can't hack it. 685 00:26:45,923 --> 00:26:49,323 Yeah, well, I've got some good painkillers at home. 686 00:26:49,323 --> 00:26:51,203 Great. Mm. 687 00:26:51,203 --> 00:26:52,323 HE SIGHS 688 00:26:52,323 --> 00:26:55,043 Come on, let's get out of here as fast as we can. 689 00:27:03,243 --> 00:27:04,283 Agh... 690 00:27:05,443 --> 00:27:06,683 Mum! 691 00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,963 What's that music? It's, like, 2am. 692 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:16,603 What the hell are they doing? 693 00:27:16,603 --> 00:27:18,043 # I'll take you higher 694 00:27:18,043 --> 00:27:19,923 # I'll take you higher I'll take you higher 695 00:27:19,923 --> 00:27:21,683 # I'll take you higher and higher... # 696 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,283 Erm... Hello. 697 00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:25,683 You're up. 698 00:27:25,683 --> 00:27:27,723 Are you smoking a joint out here? 699 00:27:27,723 --> 00:27:29,843 What? No! 700 00:27:29,843 --> 00:27:31,963 Just a small one. 701 00:27:31,963 --> 00:27:34,643 THEY GIGGLE 702 00:27:34,643 --> 00:27:36,683 Ah, you know. Sit down. Join us. 703 00:27:36,683 --> 00:27:39,123 Join you? Are you serious? 704 00:27:39,123 --> 00:27:41,323 I've got school in the morning. 705 00:27:41,323 --> 00:27:43,283 Oh, yeah, yeah. 706 00:27:43,283 --> 00:27:46,203 Amy, then? No, no, definitely not. 707 00:27:46,203 --> 00:27:49,243 Unless you want social services to take us away. 708 00:27:49,243 --> 00:27:51,243 Well, might not be bad, actually. 709 00:27:51,243 --> 00:27:53,443 THEY LAUGH 710 00:27:55,003 --> 00:27:56,363 PAUL GROANS 711 00:27:56,363 --> 00:27:58,563 Oh, no. Oh... Are you OK? 712 00:27:58,563 --> 00:28:00,363 Oh, don't worry, he always does this. 713 00:28:00,363 --> 00:28:02,643 He's, er... He's pulling a whitey. 714 00:28:02,643 --> 00:28:04,403 Huh? No, it's off. 715 00:28:04,403 --> 00:28:05,923 It's...it's definitely gone off. 716 00:28:05,923 --> 00:28:08,043 Yeah, right. Uh-huh. 717 00:28:09,443 --> 00:28:10,483 Come on. 718 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:12,563 All right, fine. 719 00:28:12,563 --> 00:28:14,883 It's not like I've got work to go to. 720 00:28:14,883 --> 00:28:16,043 Atta girl. 721 00:28:16,043 --> 00:28:17,363 I'm going to bed. 722 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,043 Night, losers. 723 00:28:19,043 --> 00:28:21,243 Goodnight. Love you. 724 00:28:21,243 --> 00:28:22,283 Yeah. 725 00:28:24,763 --> 00:28:26,443 You all right, Paul? 726 00:28:26,443 --> 00:28:27,883 Yeah, he's gone. 727 00:28:27,883 --> 00:28:29,123 AMY GIGGLES 728 00:28:30,683 --> 00:28:31,723 Oh, God. 729 00:28:34,083 --> 00:28:37,723 # Come and feel my energy 730 00:28:37,723 --> 00:28:41,083 # Let's be as one in soul and mind 731 00:28:41,083 --> 00:28:44,483 # I'll fill your world with ecstasy 732 00:28:44,483 --> 00:28:51,203 # Touch all your dreams deep down inside 733 00:28:51,203 --> 00:28:54,243 # Let me be your fantasy... #