1 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:08,083 ALL CHEER 2 00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:09,123 Oh, my God! 3 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:13,283 Oh, shame! 4 00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:15,963 Wow! There he is. An artist. 5 00:00:15,963 --> 00:00:17,283 Oh, for God's sake. 6 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:18,723 He's only done the odd portrait. 7 00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:21,163 He spent most of his life working in Homebase. All right! 8 00:00:21,163 --> 00:00:23,923 DOORBELL RINGS 9 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,323 Hang on, what are you going to say? 10 00:00:25,323 --> 00:00:27,523 What do you mean? To Frank, about the painting? 11 00:00:27,523 --> 00:00:31,003 Oh, I'll just say something good and classy, yet barbed. 12 00:00:31,003 --> 00:00:32,483 Barbed? Yeah. 13 00:00:32,483 --> 00:00:35,643 But you are going to apologise for ruining the painting? No. Absolutely not. 14 00:00:35,643 --> 00:00:38,043 He ruined it first, in a way. 15 00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:39,843 Well... This is his fault, if anything. 16 00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:42,363 I just don't think you should go on the attack. I won't. 17 00:00:42,363 --> 00:00:46,443 I'll say something pithy and strong that both humiliates him and 18 00:00:46,443 --> 00:00:49,803 makes it clear that I'm the victim in all this. 19 00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:51,603 With dignity. And you back yourself 20 00:00:51,603 --> 00:00:53,563 to come up with that on the spot, do you? 21 00:00:55,843 --> 00:00:57,083 Yeah. 22 00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:59,603 Let's come back after Cherry's salsa class. Hmm? 23 00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,723 Come on. Go, go, go, go! Quick! 24 00:01:03,403 --> 00:01:07,243 Sam, come on! Sam! Let's get to the bubble. 25 00:01:07,243 --> 00:01:09,803 You know, what is the point of even having a shoe rack 26 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,963 if you just leave your shoes wherever you want? 27 00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:15,563 Completely agree. Let's get rid of it. 28 00:01:15,563 --> 00:01:18,603 No, Sam, I'm...saying the opposite. 29 00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:22,163 Oh, right. And why is there a grabber on the floor? 30 00:01:22,163 --> 00:01:24,483 Anyone? That's mine, Rachel! 31 00:01:24,483 --> 00:01:29,043 I can't bend down to get things since me hip replacement. 32 00:01:29,043 --> 00:01:32,483 I mean, I would pick it up, but I'd need another grabber. 33 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,963 OK, OK. And can you put this bow away, please? 34 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:37,123 Paul? I'm job hunting! 35 00:01:37,123 --> 00:01:39,003 AMY: Who is it, anyway? What do you mean? 36 00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:42,123 Well, we only ever tidy up if someone's coming over, so who is it? 37 00:01:42,123 --> 00:01:44,443 That's not strictly true. We do sometimes Hoover. 38 00:01:44,443 --> 00:01:47,203 But, yes, it's Frank from number 2 about the family portrait. 39 00:01:47,203 --> 00:01:49,483 What?! Yeah. We're not actually doing that, are we? 40 00:01:49,483 --> 00:01:52,003 I thought you were joking. What's a data analyst? 41 00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,323 Yes, of course we are. SAM: Do I have to sit and pose for it? 42 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,043 Yes. And put the camera down, please. Oh! 43 00:01:56,043 --> 00:01:59,243 Getting a family portrait is really weird. No! And vain. 44 00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:01,203 It's like something Vladimir Putin would do. 45 00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:02,483 Yes, and I'm sure all the rest 46 00:02:02,483 --> 00:02:04,403 of the Putins would be very appreciative. 47 00:02:04,403 --> 00:02:06,523 Rach, do you think I could be a data analyst? 48 00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:07,883 Erm, I wouldn't have thought so, 49 00:02:07,883 --> 00:02:09,443 hon, given you don't know what it is. 50 00:02:09,443 --> 00:02:10,603 Are there no bows and arrows 51 00:02:10,603 --> 00:02:12,523 vacancies, then, Paul? 52 00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:14,203 Er, no, no. 53 00:02:14,203 --> 00:02:16,883 No-one's advertising for a freelance archer, Mum. 54 00:02:16,883 --> 00:02:20,763 Surprisingly. Although I did hear that they were looking for someone 55 00:02:20,763 --> 00:02:22,963 to work behind the bar at the Red Lion pub. 56 00:02:22,963 --> 00:02:24,363 Oh, really? Yeah. 57 00:02:24,363 --> 00:02:25,843 So I was thinking I might go for that. 58 00:02:25,843 --> 00:02:28,723 You should. You look just like a barman. Oh, yeah? 59 00:02:28,723 --> 00:02:31,123 H-How, exactly? 60 00:02:31,123 --> 00:02:33,763 Well, you know, hearty. 61 00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:35,123 Oh, yeah. 62 00:02:35,123 --> 00:02:37,243 Yeah. I mean, I suppose I am, really. Yeah, yeah. 63 00:02:37,243 --> 00:02:38,963 Oh, you having another bag, then? 64 00:02:38,963 --> 00:02:40,403 Yeah, he's like a chain smoker. 65 00:02:40,403 --> 00:02:43,643 Well, Amy's got us starting this month-long detox thing tomorrow 66 00:02:43,643 --> 00:02:47,323 so, you know, I thought I'd... Eat a month's worth of fudge today. 67 00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:50,523 Pretty much, yeah. You what? Detox? 68 00:02:50,523 --> 00:02:53,083 That's a bit hippy-dippy, isn't it? 69 00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:55,723 If you consider not dying from heart disease hippy-dippy, 70 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:56,803 then yes. Exactly. 71 00:02:56,803 --> 00:03:00,003 It's a month without meat, booze, caffeine, sugar and dairy. 72 00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:02,883 But what else is there? 73 00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:02,883 I mean, there's nothing left. 74 00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:02,883 DOORBELL RINGS 75 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,243 There's vegetables. Yeah. Salad. Mm-hm. Bran. 76 00:03:06,243 --> 00:03:09,243 It's only for a month. I'm looking forward to it, actually. 77 00:03:09,243 --> 00:03:10,603 What, salad and bran? 78 00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:14,243 Frank! Frank, hello, how are you? 79 00:03:14,243 --> 00:03:15,283 Excellent, thank you. 80 00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:17,043 I've just had reiki. 81 00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:20,163 I'll just slip my Crocs off, Rachel. Oh, no, it's f... 82 00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:24,843 Well... Now, then. I love peeking at other houses in the street. 83 00:03:24,843 --> 00:03:28,683 I've gone completely open-plan. Game changer. Ah. 84 00:03:28,683 --> 00:03:30,803 Morning, all. 85 00:03:30,803 --> 00:03:34,603 Frank Walmsley, portrait artist. Yes, this is.... 86 00:03:34,603 --> 00:03:36,403 This is everyone. 87 00:03:36,403 --> 00:03:39,723 Paul, you know. Amy. Hi. 88 00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:41,963 And this is Sam. SAM: All right? Ah, yes. 89 00:03:41,963 --> 00:03:43,723 Nice to meet you. Is he filming? 90 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,323 Yeah, he will do that. 91 00:03:45,323 --> 00:03:47,203 Hello, I'm Sue. 92 00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:48,363 Frank Walmsley. 93 00:03:48,363 --> 00:03:49,723 Hello, hello. 94 00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:52,243 Now, will you want us on our feet, Frank? 95 00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:56,043 Because I've just had a hip replaced, and if I have to stand 96 00:03:56,043 --> 00:04:00,123 for long, I will look very distressed in the portrait. 97 00:04:00,123 --> 00:04:02,883 Well, I work off of a photo... Oh. 98 00:04:02,883 --> 00:04:05,923 ..so I'll be super duper quick, I promise. 99 00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:09,163 I had a new hip installation myself last year, 100 00:04:09,163 --> 00:04:11,803 so I understand - intimately. 101 00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:13,603 Oh, did you? 102 00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:17,123 Now, how long before you could bend over? 103 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,083 OK, Mum, that's a bit personal. 104 00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:22,883 I'm only asking! Now, are you swimming? 105 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:27,803 No. If you are, you will be bending like blimming Beckham 106 00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:29,323 in no time at all. 107 00:04:29,323 --> 00:04:31,843 Oh, I'll try that, then. 108 00:04:31,843 --> 00:04:34,883 But you can stand, sit, cuddle... 109 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,043 Ooh! Cuddle... 110 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,283 ..any arrangement for the portrait will be fine. 111 00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:42,323 AMY: Not cuddle. You don't want a cuddle? No! 112 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,163 Where to do this? Oh, fantastic. 113 00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:48,323 This is the lightest room, I guess. The garden room. So... 114 00:04:48,323 --> 00:04:51,163 I put a new stone fireplace in mine. 115 00:04:51,163 --> 00:04:53,283 Aegean limestone. Gorgeous! 116 00:04:53,283 --> 00:04:55,123 Oh! Oh. 117 00:04:55,123 --> 00:05:00,123 Yeah, you know, well, as long as we all look nice, I really don't mind. 118 00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:02,643 Sorry? I don't follow. 119 00:05:02,643 --> 00:05:05,243 Well, we just want to all look nice in the painting. 120 00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:06,643 That's the main thing. 121 00:05:06,643 --> 00:05:09,323 Yes. Well, you'll look how you look. 122 00:05:09,323 --> 00:05:11,123 Well, no, I know, but, 123 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,803 I'm just saying, you don't have to just copy the photo. 124 00:05:13,803 --> 00:05:16,683 You can, you know, make it a bit...kind. 125 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,883 Kind? What do you mean? 126 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:20,763 Well... She means propaganda. 127 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:24,163 Yes, thank you. Yeah, no. I just mean, you know, nice. 128 00:05:24,163 --> 00:05:26,083 Nicer than... Yeah. 129 00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:28,283 I'm an artist, Rachel. 130 00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:34,123 I'm a servant of the truth. And the client. That's standard, no? 131 00:05:34,123 --> 00:05:35,963 I'm sure Michelangelo didn't have to 132 00:05:35,963 --> 00:05:38,163 make Jesus quite so buff all the time, did he? 133 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,683 Oh, I see. You want to look like Jesus. 134 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:43,883 Well, perhaps I should give you a halo as well, hmm? 135 00:05:43,883 --> 00:05:46,123 No, I don't want to look like... 136 00:05:46,123 --> 00:05:48,283 Shall we take this photo, then? 137 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:50,723 Yeah. Let's line up. Great. 138 00:05:50,723 --> 00:05:53,603 You can't wear that. What? What's wrong with it? Can you change? 139 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,523 I've changed! OK. 140 00:05:57,763 --> 00:05:59,563 Oh, yeah. There she is. 141 00:05:59,563 --> 00:06:01,803 Judas Jessop, the job thief. 142 00:06:01,803 --> 00:06:03,443 Oh, God, get over it! 143 00:06:03,443 --> 00:06:05,483 Yeah, that's not get into that again. I'm over it. 144 00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,563 So how's it going? Has it started? 145 00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:09,603 Well, no, I don't think so. 146 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,123 There's no-one really in there. 147 00:06:11,123 --> 00:06:12,763 Oh. Oh. Yeah. 148 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:13,963 Hiya! 149 00:06:13,963 --> 00:06:17,443 Hi! How's it going? Yeah. 150 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:20,163 How's it look like it's going? SAM: Badly. 151 00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:22,083 Don't say that, Sam! 152 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:24,843 It is going badly. Right, see? Yes. Oh. 153 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:28,883 Because this div forgot to say which Red Lion we were in, 154 00:06:28,883 --> 00:06:31,203 so now everyone's gone to different pubs. 155 00:06:31,203 --> 00:06:32,243 Oh, no. 156 00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:33,803 Except Kay. All right? 157 00:06:33,803 --> 00:06:37,843 And Dave, to be fair. Doing it here was all very lastminute.com, 158 00:06:37,843 --> 00:06:40,843 and there are a staggering number of Red Lions out there, actually. 159 00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:43,843 Probably more than there are actual lions, yellow ones. 160 00:06:43,843 --> 00:06:46,163 DOOR OPENS MAN: Oh, here we are, Cherry. Oh. 161 00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:48,443 Hiya! Are you here for the salsa class 162 00:06:48,443 --> 00:06:52,363 or the loo? Loo. Second door on the left, mate. 163 00:06:52,363 --> 00:06:54,003 That keeps happening an' all. Oh... 164 00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:57,323 Honestly, I shouldn't even be doing this in a bloody pub. 165 00:06:57,323 --> 00:07:00,123 It's so embarrassing. Well, it's... It's nice. 166 00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:03,443 Oh, shit. Nicky, Yaz 167 00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:06,203 and Ugly Chris are in the Red Lion in Hitchin. 168 00:07:06,203 --> 00:07:08,043 Tell them to come to this one. 169 00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:10,243 They've already ordered food, though. Oh! 170 00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:13,323 Oh, I've eaten in that Red Lion before. It's pure goals, man. 171 00:07:13,323 --> 00:07:15,523 Lamb shank was absolutely dripping off the bone. 172 00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:16,923 And? 173 00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:19,003 Right. 174 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,843 Mm, can I get another half of Amstel in there 175 00:07:20,843 --> 00:07:22,643 when you get a second, my love? Thank you. 176 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,123 Actually, on that subject, though, 177 00:07:24,123 --> 00:07:26,203 if you could all order something, food and drink, 178 00:07:26,203 --> 00:07:27,523 that would really help me out. 179 00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:30,723 There's this, like, £30 minimum spend when hiring the room, so... 180 00:07:30,723 --> 00:07:32,243 Well, how's that going to work? 181 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,803 People can't eat and dance at the same time, can they? 182 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,083 They can if they get burgers. 183 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:39,843 Oh, that is good... Great... We're eating at home, actually. 184 00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:42,403 We've got some lentils soaking, so... 185 00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:44,563 Oh, you're still on your detox, are you? Mm. 186 00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,883 PAUL: One day more. Lamers. 187 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,963 Hang on, 30? 188 00:07:48,963 --> 00:07:51,483 No, the minimum spend is 300. 189 00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:52,683 Not 30. 190 00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:54,363 Ooh... Ow. 191 00:07:54,363 --> 00:07:56,563 HE SNIGGERS 192 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,803 I-Is it? Yeah. Best make it a pint, then, love. 193 00:07:59,803 --> 00:08:00,843 It's all right. 194 00:08:02,403 --> 00:08:05,643 SUE: Oh, Rachel, that's fantastic! I agree, I love it. What?! 195 00:08:05,643 --> 00:08:08,523 Well, that's because you're looking at yourselves. 196 00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:10,003 Look at me! 197 00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:11,323 Look at how old he's made me. 198 00:08:11,323 --> 00:08:13,603 Well, you're just looking at yourself as well. 199 00:08:13,603 --> 00:08:15,483 Well, of course I am. I can't look away. 200 00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:18,123 It's like a horror film. I look like I'm about a million. 201 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,363 No, you look a lot less than that. 202 00:08:20,363 --> 00:08:22,443 Anyway, you'll grow into it. Grow into it? 203 00:08:22,443 --> 00:08:23,763 DOORBELL RINGS 204 00:08:23,763 --> 00:08:25,763 It's supposed to be a nice family portrait, Sue, 205 00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,443 not a coat for a toddler. Well, I think he's captured us perfectly. 206 00:08:28,443 --> 00:08:31,243 Yeah, well, you would say that. He's made you look really chiselled. 207 00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,963 That's just how I look, love... Robin and Cherry are here. 208 00:08:33,963 --> 00:08:36,403 Oh! Hi, Robin! Cherry, you all right? 209 00:08:36,403 --> 00:08:39,483 ROBIN: Oh, let me think, am I all right? 210 00:08:39,483 --> 00:08:42,843 Well, put it this way, Paolo - Bitcoin went past 45. 211 00:08:42,843 --> 00:08:44,283 Huh? Is that good? 212 00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:45,843 Amazing, apparently. 213 00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:47,283 SAM: Interesting shirt. 214 00:08:47,283 --> 00:08:49,323 Oh, my Godfathers! 215 00:08:49,323 --> 00:08:51,603 You look like Torvill and Dean! 216 00:08:51,603 --> 00:08:53,363 Yeah, we're off to salsa. 217 00:08:53,363 --> 00:08:56,403 Keep the camera up here, Sam, while I'm in this. 218 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:57,843 SAM: Who are Torvill and Dean? 219 00:08:57,843 --> 00:08:59,323 Who are Torvill and Dean? 220 00:08:59,323 --> 00:09:00,923 Wow. I've heard it all now. 221 00:09:00,923 --> 00:09:03,803 Hi. We thought we'd take a squizz at this portrait. 222 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:06,163 Oh, I'd probably rather you didn't, to be honest. 223 00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:08,003 I didn't know you had bitcoin, Robin. 224 00:09:08,003 --> 00:09:09,483 Well, not a whole one, to be fair. 225 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,203 Me, Dean and Gelsman got a third each. 226 00:09:11,203 --> 00:09:13,883 Yeah, he's got a BIT of a bitcoin. 227 00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:15,363 SUE: I'm sorry. What is it? 228 00:09:15,363 --> 00:09:17,403 You've got a big coin, Robin? 229 00:09:17,403 --> 00:09:19,363 SAM: No. It's not a real coin, Granny. 230 00:09:19,363 --> 00:09:21,003 It's a sort of virtual currency. 231 00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:23,083 It's a cryptocurrency, so it only exists online 232 00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:24,963 and you do transactions in the blockchain. 233 00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:26,883 I wouldn't bother trying to explain it to Mum. 234 00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:28,683 She still doesn't understand £2 coins. 235 00:09:28,683 --> 00:09:31,483 I do understand them, thank you very much. 236 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,923 I just don't trust them. 237 00:09:32,923 --> 00:09:33,963 Well, not being vulgar, 238 00:09:33,963 --> 00:09:37,403 but so far this year, it's made me about eight grand. Eight grand?! 239 00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:39,043 Oh, my Godfathers! I'd honestly 240 00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:41,243 have to work at the pub all year to earn that. 241 00:09:41,243 --> 00:09:43,923 Oh, did you get that job at the pub, then, Paul? 242 00:09:43,923 --> 00:09:46,403 Not yet, no, but it's basically a done deal. 243 00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:49,323 Ravi said there's only one other applicant, so we're... 244 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,843 Oh. Oh, Rach. 245 00:09:50,843 --> 00:09:52,803 My tummy. AMY: Tummy. 246 00:09:52,803 --> 00:09:55,123 Are you five years old? ROBIN: Oh, God, is he all right? 247 00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:57,203 Yeah, no, we're just in the middle of this detox, 248 00:09:57,203 --> 00:09:59,603 and Paul's had quite a bad reaction, so... 249 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,683 CHERRY: Shame. In the middle? 250 00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:03,683 We've been doing it for, like, six days. 251 00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:05,083 Rach? Yeah? 252 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:07,963 I'm not in it. Yeah, well, you didn't pose for it, Cherry. 253 00:10:07,963 --> 00:10:09,763 Were you expecting to be in it? 254 00:10:09,763 --> 00:10:11,643 Well, I wasn't sure, to be honest. 255 00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:15,083 It's a lucky escape, really, because I mean, look at me. 256 00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:18,323 Oh, God! He's just given me extra wrinkles on purpose. 257 00:10:18,323 --> 00:10:22,923 He's basically punished me for asking to look nice, the bastard! 258 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:26,403 He's given me grey hairs as well, which I don't have. 259 00:10:26,403 --> 00:10:27,483 Aren't there a few? 260 00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:29,243 No, there aren't, actually. Oh... 261 00:10:29,243 --> 00:10:30,843 I mean, I could probably fix it. 262 00:10:30,843 --> 00:10:33,283 I could lose some of the wrinkles around the mouth. 263 00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:35,283 Oh, yeah, Botox would sort that right out. 264 00:10:35,283 --> 00:10:36,803 In the portrait! 265 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,323 I could touch it up a bit. 266 00:10:40,763 --> 00:10:43,283 Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Like Photoshop? Yes. Mm-hm 267 00:10:43,283 --> 00:10:45,043 SHRILL RINGING, KLAXON SOUNDS 268 00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:46,683 Oh, my God, what's that? 269 00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:46,683 PAUL MOANS 270 00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,883 That'll be my mobile phone. 271 00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,283 Oh, I hate this. 272 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,603 It's like an air raid, isn't it? 273 00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:53,763 This is exciting! 274 00:10:53,763 --> 00:10:55,403 Ridiculous. 275 00:10:55,403 --> 00:10:57,563 8659? 276 00:10:57,563 --> 00:10:59,283 Yes, speaking. 277 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:03,523 Oh, yes. Very sexy phone voice, Sue. 278 00:11:03,523 --> 00:11:05,963 So, where's the salsa class? 279 00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:07,883 That is uncanny. 280 00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:11,003 It's seven o'clock at the church hall, but it will start late, 281 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,283 though, because the Cubs always run over. 282 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,883 SUE ON PHONE: Right... Selfish little pricks. 283 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,523 They piss me right off, them Cubs. 284 00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:21,403 Last week, Cherry nearly tripped on a woggle. 285 00:11:21,403 --> 00:11:24,323 Oh, no. A woggle?! What's a woggle? 286 00:11:24,323 --> 00:11:27,363 It's a little plastic hoopy thing the scarf goes in, babe. 287 00:11:27,363 --> 00:11:29,083 It's called a woggle. 288 00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:30,123 Wow. 289 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,203 He's so clever, in't he? 290 00:11:34,203 --> 00:11:37,123 And kind. Do you know, Robin, as promised, 291 00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:39,763 has actually helped me set up my own dance class. 292 00:11:39,763 --> 00:11:41,843 And I dance with the instructor anyway, 293 00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:43,523 so I'm definitely good enough. 294 00:11:43,523 --> 00:11:46,163 Oh, she really is. Honestly, the way she swings those hips about, 295 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,403 it's like watching tennis. 296 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,243 Do you two not dance together, then? 297 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,723 No. Not yet. 298 00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:53,083 Robin's a beginner. 299 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,523 He can't even do a basic Cubana! THEY CHUCKLE 300 00:11:56,523 --> 00:12:00,203 And he really does get very sweaty, don't you? I do, actually. Yeah. 301 00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:03,923 No, especially the palms, they are, aren't they, gushers. Urgh! 302 00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,803 I don't know why. So who do you dance with, then, Robin? 303 00:12:06,803 --> 00:12:09,763 No, I don't. I just dance... Just generally, just on my tod. 304 00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:13,243 But my class is not going to be in some crummy church hall, is it? 305 00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:15,883 No. We're going upmarket, aren't we, babe? We are. 306 00:12:15,883 --> 00:12:18,363 We're already in touch with Body Explosion Dance Studios. 307 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,803 So good. But if my bitcoin keeps on surging, genuinely thinking 308 00:12:21,803 --> 00:12:24,763 about hiring out your friend and mine, The Shard. 309 00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:26,563 Oh, very dramatic! That's miles away. 310 00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:28,683 SUE: Right... It's in London, is what it is. 311 00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:30,003 ..I've got some good news. 312 00:12:30,003 --> 00:12:32,323 Oh, have you managed to change your ringtone? 313 00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:34,763 THEY CHUCKLE The pool's arriving on Wednesday. 314 00:12:34,763 --> 00:12:36,163 What?! Oh, congratulations. 315 00:12:36,163 --> 00:12:37,723 PAUL: What pool? My pool. 316 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:41,123 I've ordered a pool, so make sure you're in on Wednesday. 317 00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:43,643 It's coming here?! Well, yeah. 318 00:12:43,643 --> 00:12:46,243 Well, it'll ruin my lawn if I put it in my garden. 319 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,483 What about our lawn? 320 00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:51,043 Well, screw our lawn. We'll take the pool. Thanks, Granny! 321 00:12:51,043 --> 00:12:54,403 SAM: Sick! And I'm here more than I'm at home anyway, so... 322 00:12:54,403 --> 00:12:57,123 Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. I know. Yeah. 323 00:12:57,123 --> 00:12:58,603 You never told me you bought a pool. 324 00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,843 I bought a pool. Yeah, and why have you done that? 325 00:13:01,843 --> 00:13:04,523 Well, for me hip exercises. Oh, I see, right. 326 00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:06,883 So you're just foisting it on us, are you? Foisting?! 327 00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:08,763 ROBIN: We'll have it, if you don't want it. 328 00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:11,043 I didn't say that. You can always foist on us, Sue. 329 00:13:11,043 --> 00:13:13,443 You live in a flat. With a parking space, though. Hang on. 330 00:13:13,443 --> 00:13:14,963 Where's my Suzuki going to go? 331 00:13:14,963 --> 00:13:17,243 I'll be honest, I've not thought it through. 332 00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:19,683 AMY: We'll take the pool. This is amazing! 333 00:13:19,683 --> 00:13:23,443 I'm telling Maya! No, because I have not approved this yet! 334 00:13:23,443 --> 00:13:26,083 Rach... Oh! Oh, no, my tummy's gone. 335 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:28,563 I got you. I got you, big guy. PAUL GROANS 336 00:13:28,563 --> 00:13:29,883 Rachel, just give us a biscuit. 337 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:32,523 OK. Sam, you get a father one of those sugar-free oat biscuits, 338 00:13:32,523 --> 00:13:35,043 please? No, a normal one. Not a normal one! 339 00:13:35,043 --> 00:13:38,403 Right, so, two more apple pies. Mm-hm. 340 00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:41,843 Another pint of Amstel. I'll try and squeeze in another sirloin. 341 00:13:41,843 --> 00:13:43,723 Let's go medium rare this time, mix it up. 342 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,843 Another pint for you, Deano? Mm. 343 00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:48,203 Take one for the team, yeah. Rach, Paolo? 344 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,763 Yeah, can I just have a fizzy water, please? 345 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:51,803 What?! No. 346 00:13:51,803 --> 00:13:53,563 Rach, I've got to spend 300 quid here. 347 00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:55,723 Robin, it's the last day of our family detox, 348 00:13:55,723 --> 00:13:58,803 there is genuinely nothing else we can have on here. 349 00:13:58,803 --> 00:14:00,883 So end it now, then. No, no. 350 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,723 We're so close. 351 00:14:02,723 --> 00:14:04,723 Why is there no vegan food on here? 352 00:14:04,723 --> 00:14:06,443 I don't know. Ridiculous! 353 00:14:06,443 --> 00:14:09,843 Well, she had mussels earlier while I was pinging up the tinsel. 354 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:13,523 Oh... What?! Oh, my God! 355 00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:15,083 Oh, my God. Is this a joke? 356 00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:17,563 Have you been eating meat at work the last month? 357 00:14:17,563 --> 00:14:19,683 Well, no, that's... 358 00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:21,643 Shellfish don't have a face, 359 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:25,923 so technically you can argue that they're actually...plants. 360 00:14:25,923 --> 00:14:28,763 Oh, can you? Yeah. You can argue that, can you? Yep. 361 00:14:28,763 --> 00:14:31,203 Judas, again! Oh! 362 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,483 Double Judas! 363 00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:35,163 Do you have any idea how difficult this last month 364 00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:37,483 has been for me, Amy? Mm. No sugar, no booze. 365 00:14:37,483 --> 00:14:40,203 Well, you're not getting either of those from mussels, Dad. 366 00:14:40,203 --> 00:14:43,643 Yeah, it's the principle, though, isn't it? Yes, it is. You know? 367 00:14:43,643 --> 00:14:46,043 Right, that's it. I'm going to have the pork belly. What?! 368 00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:49,923 I'm going to have the chocolate fondant, two cappuccinos 369 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:53,283 and a pint of Guinness Extra Cold. Yes, Paolo, he's back! Pao-lo-o! 370 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,963 Seriously, you're breaking the detox on the last day? 371 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:58,483 You broke it first, mate. Oh, and a side order of wedges. 372 00:14:58,483 --> 00:15:01,483 Great. Rach? I'm going to have the fish and chips, a mojito 373 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,723 and a bowl of butter. 374 00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:05,243 Oh, yeah, just go for it. Yeah, yeah. God, I'm trembling 375 00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:07,843 just thinking about it. Me too. I'm going to see if Mum's eaten. 376 00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:12,123 ROBIN: Absolutely love it. MAYA: I mean, you didn't tell me it was one of these ones. It's a beauty. 377 00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:13,683 What ones? 378 00:15:13,683 --> 00:15:16,963 It's a swimming pool, isn't it? Yeah, well, I figured 379 00:15:16,963 --> 00:15:19,003 it would go down...into the ground. 380 00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:22,323 Yeah. This is a bit more like a jacuzzi. 381 00:15:22,323 --> 00:15:24,883 SAM: Yeah, without the bubbles. Oh, there'll be bubbles! 382 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:28,043 What with the amount of lentils Amy's got us eating. Unbelievable. 383 00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:30,443 Oh, great. Yeah, this just gets better and better. 384 00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:32,923 Well, I'm sorry for dragging you all the way from uni 385 00:15:32,923 --> 00:15:34,963 for a substandard swimming pool. 386 00:15:34,963 --> 00:15:37,683 Hey, as long as I get free drinks in your pub, I'm happy. 387 00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:39,443 It's hardly her pub. 388 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,163 She's basic bar staff. 389 00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:43,843 Oh, Dad's upset because I got the job instead of him. 390 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,043 I'm upset for them, yes, 391 00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:48,163 because you are the least hearty person I've ever met, Amy. 392 00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:49,723 You working on Saturday 30th? 393 00:15:49,723 --> 00:15:53,283 Yeah, probably. Why? 394 00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:57,323 I've got my first salsa class, booked in at Body Explosion. 395 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,523 Seven o'clock sharp. 396 00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:01,083 SAM: Could you not get The Shard then? 397 00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:03,563 No. Bit pricey in the end. 398 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,443 Body Explosion is not cheap, mind you, 399 00:16:05,443 --> 00:16:07,883 but should be all right as long as bitcoin 400 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,163 grows a pair and climbs back up again. 401 00:16:10,163 --> 00:16:13,043 Has it gone down, has it, Robin? It's taken a minor nosedive, yeah, 402 00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:15,763 after Elon did another one of his weird tweets. 403 00:16:15,763 --> 00:16:19,563 The function room at the Red Lion's free to hire if you need it. 404 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:23,443 Keep talking. Well, there's like a £30 minimum spend, I think. Hmm... 405 00:16:24,843 --> 00:16:25,883 That's... 406 00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,563 Yeah, no, that's not funny. That's a bad idea. 407 00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:32,643 I wasn't joking. Yeah, I was joking. All right? Don't want that, thank you. 408 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,643 Here we go! 409 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,643 HE CHUCKLES 410 00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,123 She's ready! 411 00:16:36,123 --> 00:16:37,603 She's ready, Rach! Mum! 412 00:16:37,603 --> 00:16:39,643 SAM: I'm going to go and get my underwater camera. 413 00:16:39,643 --> 00:16:41,043 Course you are. Sicko. 414 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,523 Rach! Stop fiddling with the painting, she's ready! 415 00:16:43,523 --> 00:16:45,403 Yes, one second! 416 00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,283 SAM: Jesus. AMY: Mum, you look like a zombie. 417 00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:49,483 Oh, that is terrifying! 418 00:16:49,483 --> 00:16:51,723 Yeah, I reckon leave it now, Mum. Yes, I know, I will. 419 00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:55,483 Just the face... The face has gone a bit...plague-y. 420 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,283 So... 421 00:16:59,283 --> 00:17:01,723 I mean, that's just... Just horrible. 422 00:17:02,843 --> 00:17:05,923 Oh! Oh, Granny's ready! 423 00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:10,963 Hey, let's get this show in the pool! Yeah! 424 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:14,683 Oh, this is the life. That is lovely. 425 00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:16,483 Ooh, it's like being on holiday! 426 00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:18,843 CHERRY: Yeah, budget holiday, maybe. 427 00:17:18,843 --> 00:17:22,323 Did you not think to mix any water with that chlorine, Paul! 428 00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:26,843 It is chlorinated, Maya, thank you. Reassuringly chlorinated. 429 00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:30,523 In fact, it'll probably kill any parasites we might be carrying. 430 00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,043 Oh, great. So like a sheep dip? 431 00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:37,043 Oh, my God! This is genuinely fantastic. 432 00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:40,203 Tell me about it, right? I'm going to use it every day. 433 00:17:40,203 --> 00:17:42,443 OK, I'm coming in! Huh? 434 00:17:42,443 --> 00:17:44,203 Geronimo! Whoa! 435 00:17:44,203 --> 00:17:46,043 No! 436 00:17:46,043 --> 00:17:47,163 Oh! 437 00:17:47,163 --> 00:17:51,523 No diving, please, Amy. I'm not diving, I'm jumping. 438 00:17:51,523 --> 00:17:55,403 Oh, jumping either, or bombing, OK? It's very unsafe. 439 00:17:55,403 --> 00:17:57,283 That is a rule. 440 00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,803 SAM: So what can we do? Just stand still? 441 00:17:59,803 --> 00:18:01,563 No, you can swim! 442 00:18:01,563 --> 00:18:04,803 You know, do lengths. CHERRY: Lengths? It's round. 443 00:18:04,803 --> 00:18:07,163 Well, you know, diameters, then, circumferences. 444 00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:08,723 Bloody hell. Which ones are they? 445 00:18:08,723 --> 00:18:10,723 What about heavy petting - is that allowed? 446 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,163 Not with me, it's not, no. 447 00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:13,963 Not with anyone, thank you. 448 00:18:13,963 --> 00:18:18,043 This pool is primarily for my hip exercises, 449 00:18:18,043 --> 00:18:19,883 not for your funny business. 450 00:18:19,883 --> 00:18:21,683 Nature's hip exercises. 451 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:25,683 No, no heavy petting, thank you, Robin, and no veruccas, either. 452 00:18:25,683 --> 00:18:27,763 Oh, no, really? CHERRY: Out you get, then. 453 00:18:27,763 --> 00:18:31,243 Oh, gross! Don't you shame me. It's a virus. 454 00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:34,963 Oh, my grandad does something called chair yoga, Sue, 455 00:18:34,963 --> 00:18:38,203 for his hips. Absolutely swears by it. 456 00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:39,723 Ooh, I like the sound of chair. 457 00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,803 SAM: Whoa, what is that in the water? 458 00:18:41,803 --> 00:18:43,363 Dad, what is that? 459 00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:45,763 Oh, God, has someone spilled something. CHERRY: What? No. 460 00:18:45,763 --> 00:18:48,523 Have they bled? Has someone bled something. What is it?! 461 00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:49,723 No, no, I'm getting out. 462 00:18:49,723 --> 00:18:51,963 What is it?! It's like an orangey-brown colour. 463 00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:54,603 It's like the squits, maybe. Oh! 464 00:18:54,603 --> 00:18:56,483 Oh! 465 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,683 SAM: I think it's coming from you, Mum. Oh, yeah... 466 00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:00,603 Oh, my God, Rach, have you squitted? 467 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:04,323 No! No, I... Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 468 00:19:04,323 --> 00:19:05,363 What is it?! 469 00:19:05,363 --> 00:19:07,163 Yeah! Have you? 470 00:19:07,163 --> 00:19:08,723 Yeah, I think it must be hair dye. 471 00:19:08,723 --> 00:19:11,963 Whose hair dye? You don't use hair dye, do you? 472 00:19:11,963 --> 00:19:14,203 Well... Since when have you used hair dye? 473 00:19:14,203 --> 00:19:17,443 Since the painting and everything. Oh. I do have a few greys, 474 00:19:17,443 --> 00:19:18,643 it turns out. CHERRY: You do. 475 00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:20,123 Quite a few. 476 00:19:20,123 --> 00:19:22,603 Yeah. Well, I didn't realise it came out in water, so... 477 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:24,243 Oh, in chlorine... 478 00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:26,163 ..it will, yeah. I mean, I knew that. 479 00:19:26,163 --> 00:19:28,923 Great. So the pool's red now, is it? 480 00:19:28,923 --> 00:19:30,723 Oh, oh, I've got it! 481 00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:34,603 Why don't we add some white hair dye to cancel out the red, 482 00:19:34,603 --> 00:19:36,203 like you do with wine? 483 00:19:36,203 --> 00:19:38,043 Shut up! Not in this situation, Robin. No. 484 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:42,643 I mean, it's more a sort of greeny, swampy brown... Mm. ..river 485 00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:43,963 than it is red. 486 00:19:43,963 --> 00:19:45,483 Yeah. Yeah, apologies. 487 00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:47,723 I mean, apologies. 488 00:19:47,723 --> 00:19:50,683 SAM: So do we empty the pool or what? 489 00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,683 Empty it?! You've got to be joking, haven't you? 490 00:19:53,683 --> 00:19:56,083 How you going to empty it? It'll be like Noah's Ark? 491 00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:58,563 Nah, nah. I'm going to keep it like this. 492 00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:01,003 Hey! Well, so the water's a little bit brown. 493 00:20:01,003 --> 00:20:02,403 So what? Who cares? 494 00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:06,843 I don't. You know, no-one else has got a brown pool, have they? 495 00:20:06,843 --> 00:20:09,643 Huh? It's like swimming in a river. 496 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,083 CHERRY: One, two, three, left forward... 497 00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,443 Oh, my God, this is better than sex. 498 00:20:14,443 --> 00:20:15,643 Yeah... All right! 499 00:20:15,643 --> 00:20:17,563 Yeah, I agree with you, but don't... 500 00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:20,203 You want to imagine you're drawing an eight 501 00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:23,043 with a pencil up your bum. 502 00:20:23,043 --> 00:20:25,643 Come on, that's it. Roll those hips, Sue. 503 00:20:25,643 --> 00:20:30,043 I'd rather not roll me new hip, to be honest, Cheryl. 504 00:20:30,043 --> 00:20:32,643 You need to keep up with your swimming, Mum. 505 00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:34,923 You haven't done your hip exercises for weeks. 506 00:20:34,923 --> 00:20:38,083 I'm over the pool now, Paul. 507 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:43,123 I'm actually doing chair yoga, and it's working wonders. 508 00:20:43,123 --> 00:20:45,643 MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES 509 00:20:43,123 --> 00:20:45,643 Oh, God, it's Frank. 510 00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:48,483 Well, what time is he expecting the picture? 511 00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:50,323 About an hour ago. 512 00:20:50,323 --> 00:20:52,723 Oh, I'll call him back. 513 00:20:52,723 --> 00:20:54,603 He's doing the robot. 514 00:20:57,403 --> 00:21:00,643 It's not funny. Yeah, it's not funny. That's not funny, Dean. 515 00:21:06,923 --> 00:21:09,123 Ugh! Ugh! 516 00:21:09,123 --> 00:21:10,323 SAM: How is it, Dad? 517 00:21:12,803 --> 00:21:14,163 Horrible. 518 00:21:14,163 --> 00:21:15,763 Obviously. 519 00:21:15,763 --> 00:21:18,243 It's like being in a huge cup of tea. 520 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:22,203 There's something about swimming in circles that's quite depressing, 521 00:21:22,203 --> 00:21:25,123 you know, existentially. 522 00:21:25,123 --> 00:21:27,323 Like I'm going down a drain. 523 00:21:27,323 --> 00:21:30,603 Yeah, that's probably the detox talking. Yeah. 524 00:21:30,603 --> 00:21:32,763 I'm just so low. 525 00:21:32,763 --> 00:21:37,003 I need a doughnut or a beer, you know? 526 00:21:41,363 --> 00:21:43,683 Rach? 527 00:21:43,683 --> 00:21:44,923 Rach? 528 00:21:44,923 --> 00:21:47,523 Can we have one beer while Amy's at work? No! 529 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,163 Come on, it's one more week! 530 00:21:50,163 --> 00:21:51,723 Oh, my God, Rach! 531 00:21:51,723 --> 00:21:53,323 Stop fiddling with it! 532 00:21:53,323 --> 00:21:55,083 I know! I can't, though. 533 00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:59,163 I keep trying to fix it and making it worse. 534 00:21:59,163 --> 00:22:01,523 I feel like someone in a documentary who's addicted 535 00:22:01,523 --> 00:22:04,083 to plastic surgery. 536 00:22:01,523 --> 00:22:04,083 DOORBELL RINGS 537 00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:07,043 Oh, God. That is so bad. 538 00:22:07,043 --> 00:22:08,763 Like I'm married to Mick Jagger. 539 00:22:08,763 --> 00:22:11,843 My only hope is, if I just keep at it long enough, 540 00:22:11,843 --> 00:22:14,563 I might gradually learn how to paint. 541 00:22:15,643 --> 00:22:17,683 Oh...! Rachel, hello! Mind if I pop in? 542 00:22:17,683 --> 00:22:19,163 Frank, hi! 543 00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:21,203 HIDE IT! Huh?! 544 00:22:21,203 --> 00:22:23,323 Sorry? Hi. Hi-de-hi. Hi. 545 00:22:23,323 --> 00:22:24,683 It's Frank, Paul! 546 00:22:24,683 --> 00:22:26,963 Hi, Frank! All right? 547 00:22:26,963 --> 00:22:29,923 I'd really rather you didn't film me. 548 00:22:29,923 --> 00:22:32,923 Hmm. Maybe Don't come in our house, then. 549 00:22:32,923 --> 00:22:35,123 Everything all right, is it, Frank? 550 00:22:35,123 --> 00:22:37,163 Marvellous. 551 00:22:37,163 --> 00:22:39,843 I found a £10 note in a clematis. Oh! 552 00:22:39,843 --> 00:22:43,043 But that wasn't what I came to tell you. 553 00:22:43,043 --> 00:22:47,643 I'm actually having a little exhibition next Saturday evening. 554 00:22:47,643 --> 00:22:50,523 Wow. So you should, an artist with your... 555 00:22:50,523 --> 00:22:53,203 Yes, we'd love to come. 556 00:22:53,203 --> 00:22:54,363 Of course, yes. 557 00:22:54,363 --> 00:22:58,003 And given that it turned out so well, I simply must include 558 00:22:58,003 --> 00:23:00,843 that super portrait of your lovely family. 559 00:23:00,843 --> 00:23:04,283 Oh, do you know, I don't know if I can part with it, Frank. 560 00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:06,763 I just... I just love it so much. 561 00:23:06,763 --> 00:23:08,123 Oh, bless you. 562 00:23:08,123 --> 00:23:09,403 I will take good care of it. 563 00:23:09,403 --> 00:23:11,363 I give you my word as an artist 564 00:23:11,363 --> 00:23:15,843 and as the chairman of the Hazel Road Allotment Association. Aw... 565 00:23:15,843 --> 00:23:19,443 Even so, I... Where have you hung it? I'd love to see it in situ. 566 00:23:19,443 --> 00:23:24,003 No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No? Oh... 567 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:26,603 You can't see it currently. 568 00:23:26,603 --> 00:23:28,803 Oh, well, why not? 569 00:23:28,803 --> 00:23:31,723 Because... Yes? 570 00:23:31,723 --> 00:23:34,483 Because... It's being framed! It's being FRAMED! Brilliant. 571 00:23:34,483 --> 00:23:38,443 It's being framed at the moment, which may take weeks, months, 572 00:23:38,443 --> 00:23:40,763 maybe, even... I love you. Love you too. Oh, surely not. 573 00:23:40,763 --> 00:23:45,243 Who's doing it? The framers. In town. The one near Lidl? Yes. No. 574 00:23:45,243 --> 00:23:48,243 No. Not that one. The... 575 00:23:48,243 --> 00:23:50,483 Well, you must mean Mr Frampton's, then? No. 576 00:23:50,483 --> 00:23:51,723 Hmm... 577 00:23:51,723 --> 00:23:53,923 Well, yes, if that's the new one. 578 00:23:53,923 --> 00:23:58,203 And, well, look, I'll telephone Mr Frampton first thing Monday 579 00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:01,283 morning and chivvy him along. No. Make sure it's ready in time. 580 00:24:01,283 --> 00:24:02,483 Nah, don't do that. 581 00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:05,443 Well, no, I insist. Mr Frampton won't mind. 582 00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:08,243 He's my Boggle partner. Oh. Great. 583 00:24:08,243 --> 00:24:09,923 I'm collecting it on Monday. 584 00:24:09,923 --> 00:24:11,603 In fact, I just remembered that, 585 00:24:11,603 --> 00:24:14,923 so you don't need to call Mr Frampton. There's no need. 586 00:24:14,923 --> 00:24:16,523 Oh, so, wonderful. 587 00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:18,203 Yeah. You can bring it round, then. 588 00:24:20,363 --> 00:24:22,763 Just trying to think of any other reason why I can't do that. 589 00:24:22,763 --> 00:24:25,003 Why can't I do that? Why can't I do that? Why can't I...?! 590 00:24:25,003 --> 00:24:26,443 I have the runs. Yeah, I can. 591 00:24:26,443 --> 00:24:29,163 I can, of course, do that. Yes. 592 00:24:29,163 --> 00:24:31,963 Any time before seven on Saturday. 593 00:24:31,963 --> 00:24:33,883 OK. Bye. Great. 594 00:24:33,883 --> 00:24:36,923 Ta-ta, then. Ta-ta. 595 00:24:36,923 --> 00:24:40,003 Ta-ta, then. 596 00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:41,043 Rach? 597 00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:45,003 What are you going to do? 598 00:24:45,003 --> 00:24:46,803 I'm going to fix it. 599 00:24:46,803 --> 00:24:49,363 I'm going to put it back to how it was, and I'm going to frame it. 600 00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:51,083 Got a week. Yeah, I can do that. 601 00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:52,883 I can do that. Really? 602 00:24:54,163 --> 00:24:55,443 You've got this. 603 00:24:59,163 --> 00:25:02,523 So, all together, it comes to... 604 00:25:03,563 --> 00:25:05,763 ..drum roll, please... Oh, here we go. 605 00:25:05,763 --> 00:25:07,683 DRUMMING 606 00:25:07,683 --> 00:25:09,883 ..£303.65. 607 00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:11,883 CHEERING 608 00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:11,883 Yes! 609 00:25:13,163 --> 00:25:15,283 Well done, everyone. Well done. 610 00:25:15,283 --> 00:25:17,163 Well, that worked out perfectly. 611 00:25:17,163 --> 00:25:19,803 Well, no, it didn't, cos no-one bloody came. 612 00:25:19,803 --> 00:25:21,083 Apart from that bit, yeah. 613 00:25:21,083 --> 00:25:22,883 I'll have another pint of Amstel anyway. 614 00:25:22,883 --> 00:25:25,243 Can you go next door? Cos I want to close this bar now. 615 00:25:25,243 --> 00:25:26,523 Anyone else? 616 00:25:25,243 --> 00:25:26,523 PHONE BUZZES 617 00:25:26,523 --> 00:25:29,123 It's Frank. It's Frank. I've got to get it. 618 00:25:29,123 --> 00:25:31,363 Frank, yes, we're on our way. 619 00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:33,443 Yeah, right now. Right now. 620 00:25:33,443 --> 00:25:34,723 Yeah. 621 00:25:33,443 --> 00:25:34,723 DOORBELL RINGS 622 00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:35,763 Back again, then. 623 00:25:38,323 --> 00:25:40,243 Genuinely, what are you going to say? 624 00:25:42,443 --> 00:25:44,403 I... 625 00:25:42,443 --> 00:25:44,403 DOOR OPENS 626 00:25:44,403 --> 00:25:46,403 Oh, at last! 627 00:25:46,403 --> 00:25:48,323 Rachel and family. 628 00:25:48,323 --> 00:25:49,443 Hi, Frank. 629 00:25:51,323 --> 00:25:52,563 I'm so sorry. 630 00:25:56,003 --> 00:25:58,043 Oh, God. 631 00:25:58,043 --> 00:25:59,083 God, no. 632 00:26:00,203 --> 00:26:02,163 What happened? 633 00:26:02,163 --> 00:26:04,483 That's absolutely chilling! 634 00:26:06,163 --> 00:26:08,043 No, I know. 635 00:26:08,043 --> 00:26:12,203 Yeah, I tried to touch it up and then I got frustrated 636 00:26:12,203 --> 00:26:13,843 and then, yeah... 637 00:26:14,883 --> 00:26:15,923 ..did that. 638 00:26:17,203 --> 00:26:18,403 But why? 639 00:26:20,963 --> 00:26:24,003 Well, in fairness... 640 00:26:24,003 --> 00:26:27,243 ..you had made me look quite haggard. 641 00:26:29,243 --> 00:26:31,123 What? 642 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,243 Haggard? And I get it, you know? 643 00:26:33,243 --> 00:26:35,603 I asked to look nice in the painting, 644 00:26:35,603 --> 00:26:39,563 so you deliberately made me really old. 645 00:26:39,563 --> 00:26:43,843 I mean, you know, be honest - that's what happened, right? 646 00:26:43,843 --> 00:26:45,923 I just copied the photo. 647 00:26:51,203 --> 00:26:53,603 Well, that is... 648 00:26:53,603 --> 00:26:55,763 Yeah. Yeah, well played. 649 00:26:55,763 --> 00:26:57,763 Well played. That is checkmate. 650 00:26:57,763 --> 00:26:59,683 Well done, well done. 651 00:26:59,683 --> 00:27:03,523 I actually prefer it like that. Yeah. Yeah, me too, actually. 652 00:27:03,523 --> 00:27:06,363 SHOUTING: Stop filming me, boy! 653 00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:07,723 Ugh... 654 00:27:09,363 --> 00:27:10,923 Well, that went well. 655 00:27:10,923 --> 00:27:12,323 Mm. I need a lie-down. 656 00:27:12,323 --> 00:27:15,083 No, no, no, no, no. There's something we really need to do. 657 00:27:15,083 --> 00:27:17,203 Please, no, Dad. I really need a shower. 658 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,443 I did a double shift today. 659 00:27:18,443 --> 00:27:20,723 Yeah, and I've eaten an entire cheeseboard board. 660 00:27:20,723 --> 00:27:22,683 It'll only take a second, OK? 661 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:24,883 OK, this is the plan. 662 00:27:24,883 --> 00:27:28,563 I will make a careful incision in the pool's flank. 663 00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:30,723 "Flank"? Side. 664 00:27:30,723 --> 00:27:34,243 Creating a narrow aperture and a steady flow of water, 665 00:27:34,243 --> 00:27:36,723 which we will collect in the buckets and take to the drains 666 00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:39,643 in a four-person rotation. OK? RACHEL SIGHS 667 00:27:39,643 --> 00:27:44,643 Always making sure that one person is stationed by the spout. 668 00:27:44,643 --> 00:27:47,883 And then we'll just let Old Papa Gravity do his thang, OK? 669 00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:50,763 God. I mean, it's ambitious. Yeah, let's do this. 670 00:27:50,763 --> 00:27:52,923 Yeah? Let's drain a swamp. Yeah. Yeah! 671 00:27:52,923 --> 00:27:54,883 Yeah, woo. Team. 672 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:56,763 Go... 673 00:27:56,763 --> 00:27:58,203 ..Jessops! ..swamp! ..pool! 674 00:27:58,203 --> 00:28:00,803 "Swamp"? We're draining the swamp. What did you say? "Pool." 675 00:28:00,803 --> 00:28:02,203 Jessops! Come on, Sam. Hurry up. 676 00:28:02,203 --> 00:28:04,283 Yeah, I'll just put the camera on the tripod. 677 00:28:04,283 --> 00:28:06,083 Is this right? Yeah? 678 00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:10,283 You set? Yeah, let's go. OK. OK. Nobody move. 679 00:28:10,283 --> 00:28:13,483 This needs to be a very delicate cut. OK? 680 00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,843 OK. Here goes. Let's do it. 681 00:28:15,923 --> 00:28:16,963 Whoa! 682 00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:19,723 Oh, God! Oh, my God! Argh! 683 00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:19,723 THEY ALL YELL 684 00:28:21,243 --> 00:28:25,203 Get back! Oh, my God. Get the buckets! 685 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,403 Get the buckets! 686 00:28:27,403 --> 00:28:30,643 Oh... Oh, it's so cold. 687 00:28:32,683 --> 00:28:34,963 Who's got a bucket? 688 00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:37,883 Oh, that was quicker than I expected. 689 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:40,003 The buckets... Where have the buckets gone? 690 00:28:40,003 --> 00:28:42,123 I did say it would only take a second. 691 00:28:42,123 --> 00:28:44,643 Well, I don't need a shower any more. No. 692 00:28:44,643 --> 00:28:46,443 THEY LAUGH 693 00:28:46,443 --> 00:28:49,963 I mean, all joking aside, I think we may have flooded someone's house.