1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,243 Come on! 2 00:00:06,683 --> 00:00:07,883 ALL: Wahey...! 3 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:08,923 Oh, my God! 4 00:00:10,403 --> 00:00:11,923 Cool... 5 00:00:11,923 --> 00:00:14,123 Ugh. Isn't it great? 6 00:00:14,123 --> 00:00:16,363 I always forget how much I love the countryside. 7 00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:19,323 Ooh, keep an eye out for birds, everyone. Mm. 8 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,603 Well, keep an eye out for the house, mainly. 9 00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:23,763 It's called The Gables and it's supposed to be 10 00:00:23,763 --> 00:00:25,603 on this road, apparently. I don't know. 11 00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:28,243 Oh, ah! What was that house there? Sam, was that The Gables? 12 00:00:28,243 --> 00:00:29,323 The Stables. Stables. 13 00:00:29,323 --> 00:00:31,363 Oh, well, we're close, sound-wise. 14 00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:34,963 Oh... Yeah, I'm not sure that's how it works, Mum. It's not. 15 00:00:34,963 --> 00:00:37,283 Well, what number is The Gables? No...! 16 00:00:37,283 --> 00:00:40,243 They don't have numbers. No, that would make life FAR too easy. 17 00:00:40,243 --> 00:00:44,123 No, no, they much prefer to give their houses quaint little names. 18 00:00:44,123 --> 00:00:45,883 BRANCHES SCRAPE CAR 19 00:00:44,123 --> 00:00:45,883 Whoa, Mum, look out. 20 00:00:45,883 --> 00:00:48,323 You're hitting the hedges. Yes, but the road is too thin. 21 00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,043 Amy, can you help, please? I'm on my phone. 22 00:00:50,043 --> 00:00:52,883 Yeah, well, could you stop being on your phone and look for The Gables? 23 00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:55,763 What are you talking about? I don't know what Gables look like. 24 00:00:55,763 --> 00:00:57,083 The sign! Look for the sign! 25 00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:58,523 Mum, it's there! Stop! 26 00:00:58,523 --> 00:01:00,123 Look, back there. The Gables! 27 00:01:00,123 --> 00:01:02,723 Yes, well done, Sue! Well done, Mum. Well done. Nice one, Gran. 28 00:01:02,723 --> 00:01:05,003 I spotted it first, but... Sue! Turn her around, babe. 29 00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:07,643 Yep, turn around up here... AS HAN SOLO: Turn her around, Chewie. 30 00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:08,723 NORMAL: Chewbacca. 31 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:11,283 Turn her around, babe. You've got to reverse her. Stop doing that. 32 00:01:11,283 --> 00:01:13,963 I know I've got to turn around. You could've turned there. 33 00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:15,883 How could a road be this narrow for this long? 34 00:01:15,883 --> 00:01:18,283 Missed a... I take it back - I absolutely hate the countryside. 35 00:01:18,283 --> 00:01:20,763 You keep missing laybys. I hate it! 36 00:01:20,763 --> 00:01:23,763 But why? What do you need a screwdriver for? 37 00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:26,043 None of your business. 38 00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:28,803 I mean... Well, do you want a flathead or Philips? 39 00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,683 Philip's? Who's...? No, I want... I want your one. No, no. 40 00:01:31,683 --> 00:01:33,803 They're different types of screwdriver. 41 00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:35,403 DOORBELL RINGS 42 00:01:35,403 --> 00:01:37,723 Doorbell! Yes, we know. We have a doorbell. 43 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,603 You don't need to shout "doorbell", as well. 44 00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:41,643 I do if no-one answers it. 45 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,083 SAM: I'll get it. 46 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,963 Just tell me what... No. 47 00:01:44,963 --> 00:01:46,963 What are you trying to screw? 48 00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:49,443 She wants to put a lock on her bedroom door. Maya! 49 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,643 What? No. Absolutely not. Uh, why? 50 00:01:51,643 --> 00:01:53,203 Cheers. Just no! 51 00:01:53,203 --> 00:01:54,923 Mum, the foxes have been again. 52 00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:57,083 Oh, God! Oh, God. Really? 53 00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,723 I mean, how? How do they keep opening that bin? 54 00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:03,203 I struggle to work it out most of the time. 55 00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:05,363 They haven't eaten much of your kale pie, Mum. 56 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:07,083 Well, neither did we, to be fair. 57 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,443 SUE: Anyone like a coke float? 58 00:02:09,443 --> 00:02:11,083 A coke float? No, thanks. 59 00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,283 Mum, it's 8:45 in the morning. 60 00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:14,923 Is that a no? 61 00:02:14,923 --> 00:02:17,363 No, I mean, I will have one. 62 00:02:17,363 --> 00:02:19,763 Look, Dad, please... Where are you going to put it, Mum? 63 00:02:19,763 --> 00:02:21,403 Well, back in the food bin, I imagine, 64 00:02:21,403 --> 00:02:23,043 for the foxes to take out again 65 00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:26,323 and so the cycle goes on forever. 66 00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:28,443 Oh, is that a sausage or a shit? 67 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,323 I'll get the Marigolds. 68 00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:33,843 Rachel, can you please tell Amy that she's not having a lock 69 00:02:33,843 --> 00:02:35,883 on her bedroom door? Ugh! Why not-uh? 70 00:02:35,883 --> 00:02:37,323 Because-uh! 71 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,843 We don't have a lock on our door. 72 00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:40,563 Yeah, well, we don't need one. Exactly. 73 00:02:40,563 --> 00:02:42,763 What-what do you mean by that? No, no, I didn't... 74 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,243 Oh. I don't mean... No, nothing. 75 00:02:44,243 --> 00:02:47,283 Please! I keep having to push my harp against the door. 76 00:02:47,283 --> 00:02:49,323 Well... There you go, Paul. 77 00:02:49,323 --> 00:02:51,803 Perhaps if you actually tried playing your harp, 78 00:02:51,803 --> 00:02:54,643 instead of using it as a really expensive doorstop! 79 00:02:54,643 --> 00:02:55,963 Thank you, Mum. 80 00:02:55,963 --> 00:02:58,243 And Maya's here, like, every weekend. Yes, yes. 81 00:02:58,243 --> 00:03:00,723 And I'm worried it's going to affect her course. Oh, no. 82 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:02,363 I mean, it helps me, if anything. 83 00:03:02,363 --> 00:03:04,603 I've kind of got this sort of stalker in Swansea 84 00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:06,363 called Jav that I'm trying to avoid. 85 00:03:06,363 --> 00:03:08,403 Look, let's just vote on it, at least. 86 00:03:08,403 --> 00:03:09,843 Fine. Sam, come on. 87 00:03:09,843 --> 00:03:12,443 You want a lock on your bedroom door, right? Uh... 88 00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,843 No, you know what? I'm all right. 89 00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:15,643 Aha-ha! Oh, bloody hell, Sam. 90 00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:17,163 Thank you very much, Sam. 91 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:18,883 PHONE BUZZES 92 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:18,883 It is finally settled. 93 00:03:18,883 --> 00:03:20,163 MAYA: Aw, bless. 94 00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:22,083 Well, you will Sam. Soon. 95 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,283 What? Oh, Robin's asking if he can borrow Big Bertha. 96 00:03:24,283 --> 00:03:25,803 Oh... 97 00:03:25,803 --> 00:03:28,483 Well, he'll have to go up into the loft to get it himself. 98 00:03:28,483 --> 00:03:30,163 There's that wasps' nest up there. 99 00:03:30,163 --> 00:03:31,523 I mean, what is going on? 100 00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:33,603 I thought all animal life was about to go extinct 101 00:03:33,603 --> 00:03:36,523 and yet, somehow, we're infested with wasps and foxes. 102 00:03:36,523 --> 00:03:39,203 Oh, honestly, bring back fox hunting, I say. 103 00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:41,163 Let the poshos sort them out - 104 00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:43,323 make themselves useful for once. 105 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:45,923 That's a good idea, actually. Who was that at the door? 106 00:03:45,923 --> 00:03:48,563 No-one. It was just someone delivering a parcel for Dad. 107 00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:50,923 Ooh! Fabbo. Oh, really, what is it? 108 00:03:50,923 --> 00:03:53,723 Oh? Mm, that's exciting. 109 00:03:53,723 --> 00:03:55,643 Hang on. 110 00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,483 What day is it? Erm... 111 00:03:57,483 --> 00:03:59,203 15th. Why? Oh, God. 112 00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:01,163 Oh. What? It's from him, isn't it? 113 00:04:01,163 --> 00:04:02,803 What? Him? Who's him? 114 00:04:02,803 --> 00:04:06,003 Uh, Ray, one of Dad's old archery team-mates. 115 00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:08,043 SUE: How nice of him to send you something. 116 00:04:08,043 --> 00:04:09,883 It actually isn't. 117 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,683 Every August he does this, 118 00:04:11,683 --> 00:04:15,883 on the anniversary of Team GB finishing fourth in Athens. 119 00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:17,723 Unbelievable. 120 00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:21,203 "Bronzeless in Bedford. Thinking of you at this most tragic time." 121 00:04:21,203 --> 00:04:24,163 Yeah, he went on to win a bronze in Beijing four years later, you see? 122 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,043 Yeah, and he took my spot - 123 00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:28,883 and every year he has to bloody well rub my face in it. 124 00:04:28,883 --> 00:04:31,283 Is Ray the one that looks like you? 125 00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:32,923 Yeah, yeah. No. 126 00:04:32,923 --> 00:04:34,203 No? No. 127 00:04:34,203 --> 00:04:37,003 No, he's the one, erm, who Rachel, you know...? 128 00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:39,883 Yeah, all right. What? You know what? 129 00:04:39,883 --> 00:04:42,203 We went out, very briefly, a long time ago, 130 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,443 before me and your father got together. 131 00:04:44,443 --> 00:04:46,323 Wow. And you dumped him for Dad? 132 00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:48,763 Yep. How is that possible? Uh... 133 00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:51,643 No, it was all very innocent and Dawsons Creek-y. 134 00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:54,243 Well, yeah. Yeah. And I was always the better archer... 135 00:04:54,243 --> 00:04:55,923 Mm. ..if you watch the videos. 136 00:04:55,923 --> 00:04:57,563 SAM: Videos? What videos? 137 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:58,763 Oh, God. 138 00:04:58,763 --> 00:05:02,003 "If you're ever in Cardigan Bay..." Big if. 139 00:05:02,003 --> 00:05:05,243 "..you really must come and stay at The Gables." 140 00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:06,323 Oh. 141 00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:08,843 "Love to Rachey and best to you and the family." 142 00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:10,563 I mean, "Love to Rachey." 143 00:05:10,563 --> 00:05:11,763 Pfft! 144 00:05:11,763 --> 00:05:13,723 Jog on, son. Jog on. 145 00:05:13,723 --> 00:05:16,083 Cardigan? That's not far from me. 146 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,243 You can drop Amy off in Swansea, and then go check out his Gables. 147 00:05:19,243 --> 00:05:20,643 No! No. 148 00:05:20,643 --> 00:05:23,083 No! Why not? No way! No. 149 00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:26,363 I-I would.... I would rather be dead, genuinely. 150 00:05:26,363 --> 00:05:28,483 Wow. You know? 151 00:05:28,483 --> 00:05:31,203 No, I never want to see Ray again. 152 00:05:31,203 --> 00:05:34,963 I mean, who names their house The Gables, for God's sake? Yeah... 153 00:05:34,963 --> 00:05:37,923 A joke. The man is a joke. 154 00:05:39,043 --> 00:05:40,363 Here we go. 155 00:05:41,523 --> 00:05:43,563 Wow. Ah. 156 00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:45,563 Look at that view. SUE: That's gorgeous. 157 00:05:45,563 --> 00:05:48,163 Blimey. Yeah, it is actually... 158 00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:50,243 ..really lovely, isn't it? Annoyingly. 159 00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,563 Oh, we forgot to drop Amy off on the way! 160 00:05:52,563 --> 00:05:54,803 No, no, no, that's not... 161 00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:57,243 Maya's got a deadline, so her course mates have taken her 162 00:05:57,243 --> 00:05:59,923 to their family's place in Gower to work. 163 00:05:59,923 --> 00:06:02,483 SAM: What? All of them? Yeah, I think so. 164 00:06:02,483 --> 00:06:04,963 Ah! I hear voices. There he is! 165 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:06,203 Ray. 166 00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:10,043 The second best-looking man on the '04 GB Olympic archery team. 167 00:06:10,043 --> 00:06:12,563 Yeah, well, I suppose Colin WAS quite good-looking. 168 00:06:12,563 --> 00:06:15,483 I'm not talking about Colin, mate. I'm talking about myself. 169 00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:18,043 Yeah, I know. I know that. Rachey, Rachey...! 170 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:19,963 Ah, Ray. Oh. Lovely. 171 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,243 Mm... 172 00:06:21,243 --> 00:06:22,763 Well, you smell amazing. 173 00:06:22,763 --> 00:06:24,803 Yes, I've just eaten Burger King. 174 00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:26,403 Is it a Burger King? 175 00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:28,163 Wow. You're enormous. 176 00:06:28,163 --> 00:06:29,483 OK, thank you. 177 00:06:29,483 --> 00:06:30,803 And Paul's mum! 178 00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:32,443 Yes, you're still with us! 179 00:06:32,443 --> 00:06:34,603 Sue. I am, yes. Hello. 180 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,003 Last time I saw you, you were a babe in arms. 181 00:06:37,003 --> 00:06:39,883 Yeah, stop filming actually, Sam. No, keep filming, actually, Sam. 182 00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:41,643 Love all this stuff, TikTok and whatnot. 183 00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:43,363 SAM: I'm a documentary film-maker. 184 00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:46,003 Sure you are. Well, get a load of this. 185 00:06:46,003 --> 00:06:48,523 That is what a winner looks like. 186 00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:49,923 Peej. 187 00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:51,523 Yeah, you didn't win, Ray. 188 00:06:51,523 --> 00:06:52,923 It's bronze. Mm. 189 00:06:52,923 --> 00:06:55,083 I won the bronze, so I did win. 190 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,443 OK. 191 00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:58,963 Good, that's that sorted. 192 00:06:58,963 --> 00:07:00,483 Right, shall I show you round? 193 00:07:00,483 --> 00:07:02,283 Yes, please. Give me that bloody bag... 194 00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:04,563 Thank you. ..before we're too much older. Come on. 195 00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:07,123 Into The Gables! Show you my house! 196 00:07:07,123 --> 00:07:09,603 Oh, yes, yes. Yes? Three barbecues, is it? 197 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,163 Pardon me? Three barbecues. 198 00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:13,763 One, two, three. Middle one's a smoker. Come on. 199 00:07:13,763 --> 00:07:15,563 If you'll excuse the tools. 200 00:07:15,563 --> 00:07:18,243 I've just been whittling some new gatepost finials. 201 00:07:18,243 --> 00:07:20,163 Oh, yeah? Yes. 202 00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:22,963 This place is more like a workshop than a kitchen. 203 00:07:22,963 --> 00:07:24,683 I'm such a bloody bloke. 204 00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:27,203 No, no, it's... It's lovely, Ray. 205 00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:28,803 Indeed it is, Sue. 206 00:07:28,803 --> 00:07:30,443 It could do with a woman's touch. 207 00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:32,563 PAUL CHUCKLES 208 00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:32,563 As could I. 209 00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:33,923 As could I. 210 00:07:36,203 --> 00:07:38,963 Oh, what amazing... 211 00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,683 ..Gables. Mm-hm. 212 00:07:40,683 --> 00:07:43,243 Yeah, when was it built? Well, have a guess. 213 00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:45,843 No, thanks. Just tell us. 1675. 214 00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:48,203 I've tried to restore it sympathetically, 215 00:07:48,203 --> 00:07:51,563 keep all the superb 17th-century features. 216 00:07:51,563 --> 00:07:53,523 Now, bedrooms. 217 00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:56,243 Granny and the kids, I've put you in Barley. 218 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:59,523 Mm. So, you've named the rooms, as well, have you? Oh, yeah, Barley. 219 00:07:59,523 --> 00:08:00,963 Come on, up we go. 220 00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:04,003 Oh, blimey, look at all the stuffies! Mm-hm. 221 00:08:04,003 --> 00:08:05,523 It's like a zoo! 222 00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,203 Where all the animals are dead. 223 00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:08,763 SAM: Not seeing much barley. 224 00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:10,123 Have you got Wi-Fi, Ray? 225 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,243 Uh, dial-up, yes. 226 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:13,843 Dial-up? Mm-hm. 227 00:08:13,843 --> 00:08:15,803 Is that a 17th-century feature, as well? 228 00:08:15,803 --> 00:08:17,363 Amy. 229 00:08:15,803 --> 00:08:17,363 PAUL CHUCKLES 230 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,483 No. That is actually quite rude. All right! 231 00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:21,203 Well, you know, it gets the job done. 232 00:08:21,203 --> 00:08:22,563 Slow and steady. 233 00:08:22,563 --> 00:08:24,683 Downloads the image. Ugh. 234 00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:31,523 Now, let me take you, sir, and you, to Cumulonimbus. 235 00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,203 Cumulonimbus? 236 00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:35,923 There's no theme, then, behind the names? 237 00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:37,923 Lots of themes. OK. 238 00:08:37,923 --> 00:08:39,523 Different theme for each room. 239 00:08:39,523 --> 00:08:41,723 And, finally... Wow. 240 00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,203 ..the yard. Mm. 241 00:08:43,203 --> 00:08:45,923 Yes, please. Just the nine acres, in the end. Nine? 242 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:48,283 My Own Private Idaho. Crikey. 243 00:08:48,283 --> 00:08:50,883 You don't get this in the suburbs, I imagine. No, you don't. 244 00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:53,123 We have parks, so no need. 245 00:08:53,123 --> 00:08:55,243 Do you get a lot of birds, Ray? 246 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,883 Yes. Yes, I do have a few female admirers in the village. 247 00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:02,723 No, no, I mean, you know...? I'm winding you up, Sue! 248 00:09:02,723 --> 00:09:04,243 Oh! 249 00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,843 No, but in all seriousness, 250 00:09:05,843 --> 00:09:07,603 we have all sorts come through here. 251 00:09:07,603 --> 00:09:10,003 Grouse, owls, the occasional warbler. Oh! 252 00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:11,883 Owls? Really? Yes. 253 00:09:11,883 --> 00:09:15,163 Do you know, I've always wanted to see an owl? 254 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,803 That's one for the bucket list. 255 00:09:16,803 --> 00:09:18,843 Ah, yeah. Seeing an owl? 256 00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:20,883 Is that all? No! 257 00:09:20,883 --> 00:09:24,163 There are other things on my bucket list, thank you very much. 258 00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,723 Like what? 259 00:09:25,723 --> 00:09:27,163 Well... 260 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:30,843 ..I've always wanted to try acid at some point. 261 00:09:30,843 --> 00:09:33,043 Well, I can't help with that, Sue. Really? 262 00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:35,403 But, yes, we do have owls. Oh. 263 00:09:35,403 --> 00:09:37,523 Tawny, thereof. Wow. 264 00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:39,843 Now, if you keep an eye on this old tree here, 265 00:09:39,843 --> 00:09:42,483 the big one, round about half past ten tonight... 266 00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:44,443 Right. ..you may be in luck. 267 00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:46,363 Well, there goes that idea. 268 00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,763 Mum's usually asleep by 5:30. 269 00:09:48,763 --> 00:09:51,203 8:15, thank you. 270 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,203 And I can do later. 271 00:09:53,203 --> 00:09:56,003 I watched Newsnight a couple of months ago - 272 00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:57,363 some of it. 273 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,603 And, Rachey... 274 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,963 ..there is a church yonder. 275 00:10:01,963 --> 00:10:03,963 Oh, yes. Wow, yeah. 276 00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,763 Avec graveyard. Mm-hm. 277 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,723 Ray, are they...? Are they meant to be there? 278 00:10:09,723 --> 00:10:13,363 Um, yes. Let the tourists camp here, bit of extra pocket money. 279 00:10:14,643 --> 00:10:15,843 Hi. 280 00:10:15,843 --> 00:10:17,283 SAM: Oh, hi. 281 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,883 Erm, I wasn't... 282 00:10:18,883 --> 00:10:20,403 Sorry, I... 283 00:10:20,403 --> 00:10:22,203 Anyway, that concludes the tour. 284 00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:24,283 Who would like a cup of tea? Yes, please! 285 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,123 Come on, Sue. Thank you. 286 00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:27,883 Thanks, Ray. 287 00:10:27,883 --> 00:10:30,043 Thank you. Thank you, Rachey. 288 00:10:34,283 --> 00:10:37,163 Are you going to mention the sneeze? Yeah... Yeah, I will. 289 00:10:37,163 --> 00:10:39,763 Just not now, OK? In a bit. 290 00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:41,683 Don't rush me. I will. 291 00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:48,523 TV: Simon Terry now, looking to consolidate on his earlier nine. 292 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,163 Pff... 293 00:10:50,163 --> 00:10:52,883 This is really not how I wanted to spend my Saturday night. 294 00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:56,003 Well, Sam wanted to watch the old archery video, so blame him. 295 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,163 SAM: What? 296 00:10:57,163 --> 00:11:00,843 It's actually very interesting, once you get into the story. Story? 297 00:11:00,843 --> 00:11:02,603 It's not Line of Duty, Dad. 298 00:11:02,603 --> 00:11:05,403 It's five socially awkward men trying to put a stick in a circle. 299 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,323 Yeah, and it's sent Granny to sleep. 300 00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:10,883 No, no, it hasn't. I'm dozing. 301 00:11:10,883 --> 00:11:12,723 OK, Sam. 302 00:11:12,723 --> 00:11:14,923 Any of your friends up to anything tonight? 303 00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:16,403 Uh, yeah. 304 00:11:16,403 --> 00:11:18,723 I think Ollie's watching all three Kung Fu Pandas again. 305 00:11:18,723 --> 00:11:20,363 Aw. But I mean... 306 00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:23,763 ..some of them must be out somewhere, meeting girls, or...? 307 00:11:23,763 --> 00:11:25,483 Oh, leave him alone, he's only 15. 308 00:11:25,483 --> 00:11:28,923 Exactly, he should be into all that by now. All right. 309 00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:32,803 Well, you weren't meeting boys and whatnot at 15, were you? 310 00:11:32,803 --> 00:11:34,843 God, yeah. God, yeah? 311 00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:36,363 As...as in, yeah. 312 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,723 It means yeah. 313 00:11:37,723 --> 00:11:40,283 Well, not when you put a "God" in front of it, it doesn't. Oh... 314 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:43,043 That indicates that you were some sort of underage man-eater. 315 00:11:43,043 --> 00:11:45,323 Of course... OK, well, that's a horrendous image. 316 00:11:45,323 --> 00:11:46,603 Of course I wasn't. 317 00:11:46,603 --> 00:11:49,483 I was just having fun and obsessed with Damon Albarn. 318 00:11:49,483 --> 00:11:52,043 And what were you doing when you were 15? 319 00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,643 Well, I was... 320 00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:55,283 ..archery, mainly. 321 00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:57,923 Yeah, and draining his back boils. 322 00:11:57,923 --> 00:12:00,923 Ew. Honestly, some of them were like absolute udders. 323 00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:03,523 Oh, my God. Can you go to sleep, please, Mum? Please? 324 00:12:05,403 --> 00:12:07,123 How are you doing out there, Robin? 325 00:12:07,123 --> 00:12:09,043 Nearly got it! He's on his way down now. 326 00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:10,923 Oh, oh. I remember this one vividly. 327 00:12:10,923 --> 00:12:13,083 Yes, this tournament was the one that decided 328 00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:15,403 who was going to Beijing '08. 329 00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,083 So, yeah... 330 00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:18,603 MAYA LAUGHS 331 00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:19,803 Who is that... 332 00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:21,323 That's Ian. ..texting you? 333 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,803 Uh, it's, uh, Jav. 334 00:12:22,803 --> 00:12:24,923 Jav from uni. Jav? 335 00:12:24,923 --> 00:12:27,803 What, as in your stalker? 336 00:12:27,803 --> 00:12:32,803 Oh, no, no, no, no, that was all just a big misunderstanding. Oh. 337 00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:36,043 Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, Jav's just a friend, that's all. 338 00:12:36,043 --> 00:12:37,683 ROBIN: Found it. 339 00:12:39,123 --> 00:12:40,763 Woo! 340 00:12:40,763 --> 00:12:42,283 Did...? That wasn't easy. 341 00:12:43,683 --> 00:12:45,723 Have you been up the chimney? 342 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:49,643 No, I just... It's just very dirty up there. 343 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,363 I mean, to be fair, I shouldn't have worn white jeans in the loft. 344 00:12:52,363 --> 00:12:54,643 Or at all, really. Robin, I'm so sorry. 345 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,643 It's all on your thighs, look. Oh, I know. 346 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,203 Well, I had to sort of go commando... Oh, my God. 347 00:12:59,203 --> 00:13:01,643 ..cos of the wasps. You took off your pants? 348 00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:06,763 No. No, I... No. I just crawled around on my hands and knees. 349 00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:08,203 ALL: Oh. 350 00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:09,923 My pants are very much... 351 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,243 I'm so sorry. Well, don't do that. 352 00:13:12,243 --> 00:13:13,723 I realised that as I did it. 353 00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:15,883 Anyway, we found Big Bertha, so... 354 00:13:15,883 --> 00:13:17,243 Yep. ..cheers. 355 00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:20,043 Yeah, no worries. So, are you...? Are you going away or...? 356 00:13:20,043 --> 00:13:22,643 Yeah, I'm doing a Buddhist retreat... Oh? 357 00:13:22,643 --> 00:13:24,083 ..in Ipswich. Oh. 358 00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:26,923 It's for a month, so I need to pack a lot of outfits. 359 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:31,363 Oh, yeah, cos that's what Buddhist retreats are all about. Yeah. 360 00:13:31,363 --> 00:13:33,883 You're not going, then, Robin? No. No, I'm not. 361 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:37,203 We're just having a month off, aren't we, apart? 362 00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:39,923 Uh, just freezing the contract. We're not breaking up or anything. 363 00:13:39,923 --> 00:13:41,883 It's just a...just a little break, innit? 364 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:43,923 Innit? Uh-huh. 365 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:46,283 Oh, oh, there I am, there I am! That's me! 366 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,723 EVERYBODY EXCLAIMS 367 00:13:47,723 --> 00:13:48,963 SAM: What is that haircut? 368 00:13:48,963 --> 00:13:50,483 Oh, look, and there's Ray. 369 00:13:50,483 --> 00:13:51,843 God, he does look like you, Dad. 370 00:13:51,843 --> 00:13:54,723 You've got a type, haven't you, Mum? Oh, shut up, Amy. 371 00:13:54,723 --> 00:13:58,523 So, I needed eight points or more, uh, to finish above him. Yeah. 372 00:13:58,523 --> 00:14:00,803 But then I... I ballsed up my final shot. 373 00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:03,403 Oh, wicked. Oh, good. Now you're interested. 374 00:14:03,403 --> 00:14:05,403 It was galling. I can't get over your hair, Paul. 375 00:14:05,403 --> 00:14:07,203 I had him, as well. Unlucky, Dad. 376 00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:09,283 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that noise? 377 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,683 What noise? Yeah, on the video. Rewind it. 378 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:14,283 I didn't hear anything. No, there was definitely a weird noise. 379 00:14:14,283 --> 00:14:17,283 Maybe it was the crowd or something. Turn it up. Is there a noise? 380 00:14:17,283 --> 00:14:18,883 RAY SNEEZES LOUDLY 381 00:14:18,883 --> 00:14:20,763 Oh, there was. Yeah, I heard it that time. 382 00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:22,563 I think that was... I think that was Ray. 383 00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:24,003 What, that shouty sneeze thing? 384 00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:25,803 SAM: Yeah, that's why you shanked it, Dad. 385 00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:28,523 Who even sneezes like that? What, "Achoo-ah"? 386 00:14:28,523 --> 00:14:31,003 Yeah, no-one. No-one. It was a fake. 387 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,563 He did it on purpose to put Dad off. 388 00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:36,363 Really? Some people do have really weird sneezes, to be fair, Amy. 389 00:14:36,363 --> 00:14:38,043 RAY: Achoo-ah! 390 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,163 Not that weird. Yeah, that's a fake. 391 00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:43,123 I'm calling fake sneeze on that. Yep, yep. 392 00:14:43,123 --> 00:14:46,083 Oh, my God, Dad. Ray screwed you over. 393 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,523 It is like Line of Duty. 394 00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,643 If I'd have made that shot, I would've gone to Beijing... 395 00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,003 Well, let's not get carried away. 396 00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:55,203 ..where I would've almost certainly have medalled, 397 00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:56,643 and been given an OBE. 398 00:14:56,643 --> 00:14:58,843 Well, probably not an OBE. Maybe an MBE. 399 00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:00,123 Well, one of the BEs. 400 00:15:00,123 --> 00:15:02,763 Which you should turn down because of the association with the empire. 401 00:15:02,763 --> 00:15:05,203 Yeah, I probably would've... Well, it makes no difference. 402 00:15:05,203 --> 00:15:07,443 You still wouldn't have an MBE. Yeah, but he might be a pundit 403 00:15:07,443 --> 00:15:09,723 or something by now. They always wheel out the old medallists 404 00:15:09,723 --> 00:15:11,563 for that, don't they? Well, I don't think so. 405 00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:13,363 They do! If I'd have won a bronze medal, 406 00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:14,803 I could be the next Steve Cram! 407 00:15:14,803 --> 00:15:16,403 Mm... Or Claire Balding! 408 00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:18,883 As opposed to just balding. Ah, well, if Ray did put you off, 409 00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:21,363 there's still nothing we can do about now, is there? So... 410 00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:24,523 No, of course you can. You could go up there and have it out with him. 411 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,083 Oh, no. Yes, great! 412 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,883 Go the weekend that I'm in Swansea and you can drop me off on the way. 413 00:15:28,883 --> 00:15:30,083 Oh, that's... 414 00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,203 I mean, do you want to do that? 415 00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:33,843 Oh, go on, Paul. 416 00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,563 It's not very you to... 417 00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:37,283 Erm, uh... 418 00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:41,483 I don't know. Oh, come on, Dad. Don't be a doormat all your life. 419 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:44,043 Well, that's a bit... What do you mean all my life?! 420 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,003 I haven't been a doormat for any of my life! 421 00:15:46,003 --> 00:15:47,603 So, stick it to him, Paolo! 422 00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:49,163 Go on. Go on up to Cardigan. 423 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:51,243 I'm going to bloody do it! Yes, he's doing it! 424 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,963 Damn straight! Yes, Dad! 425 00:15:54,123 --> 00:15:56,563 Yeah, we are going to Cardigan, Ray! 426 00:15:59,403 --> 00:16:00,923 Huh. 427 00:16:00,923 --> 00:16:01,963 Yeah... 428 00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:05,763 Hi, Ray. A wagtail. 429 00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:08,923 Wow. 430 00:16:08,923 --> 00:16:10,403 What can I do you for? 431 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,803 Erm... 432 00:16:11,803 --> 00:16:13,643 Well, uh... 433 00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,443 It's not a biggie. OK. I just... 434 00:16:15,443 --> 00:16:19,563 I was wondering if you remember a archery meet in '07, 435 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:22,563 before Beijing? Erm... 436 00:16:22,563 --> 00:16:24,843 ..the one...where you beat me? 437 00:16:24,843 --> 00:16:27,643 RAY CHORTLES 438 00:16:24,843 --> 00:16:27,643 Bloody hell! 439 00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:30,043 Narrow it down, Peej. That could be any of them. 440 00:16:30,043 --> 00:16:32,843 Well, I mean, I did win seven tournaments that season, but... 441 00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:35,123 Seven? I only ask because... 442 00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:37,723 I think there may have been some... 443 00:16:37,723 --> 00:16:41,163 ..unsavoury behaviour-y...behaviour, shenanigans. 444 00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:43,843 Right. What are you...? 445 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:46,283 Uh, cheating. 446 00:16:46,283 --> 00:16:48,003 I mean... Oh, God. 447 00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:51,563 Yeah, cheating. Oh, Peej, man! 448 00:16:51,563 --> 00:16:54,083 Honestly, whatever you've done, forget about it. 449 00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:56,483 Honestly, I forgive you. No, not by me. 450 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,243 What are friends for? 451 00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:00,723 Forgive and forget, that's what I say. 452 00:17:00,723 --> 00:17:05,643 I'm not one of these sad old farts who stores up grudges. 453 00:17:05,643 --> 00:17:08,043 I'd find that pretty tragic, wouldn't you? 454 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:12,283 No, I think I'd pity the fool who can't just move on from stuff. 455 00:17:12,283 --> 00:17:15,083 Do you know what I mean? Yeah... 456 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,363 Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah, I mean, it's a good point. 457 00:17:17,363 --> 00:17:19,363 Don't give it another thought, honestly. OK. 458 00:17:19,363 --> 00:17:21,643 Yeah, it's, erm... Let's just say no more. 459 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:24,683 It's a long time ago, and, uh... Water under the bridge. 460 00:17:24,683 --> 00:17:26,323 Yeah. 461 00:17:26,323 --> 00:17:29,203 It'd be pretty sad to start raking over old graves, wouldn't it, 462 00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,363 you know? Yeah. 463 00:17:31,363 --> 00:17:34,363 Would it ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 464 00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:35,923 Me and Rach did enough of that. 465 00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:37,923 OK, yeah. 466 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,563 Ah... 467 00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:41,363 Sorry... 468 00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:41,363 PAUL SPUTTERS 469 00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:43,003 What are these...? 470 00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:45,043 What are these grave jokes all about again? 471 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:46,763 I, uh... 472 00:17:46,763 --> 00:17:48,723 Oh, no, just that, erm... 473 00:17:48,723 --> 00:17:52,043 No, me and Rach once fooled around in a graveyard, 474 00:17:52,043 --> 00:17:53,923 back in the...back in the day. Yeah. 475 00:17:53,923 --> 00:17:56,083 What, fooled around as in, uh, removed flowers 476 00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,763 and, uh, made fun of the names? 477 00:17:57,763 --> 00:18:00,403 THEY LAUGH AWKWARDLY 478 00:17:57,763 --> 00:18:00,403 Yeah, could be. Yeah? 479 00:18:00,403 --> 00:18:01,843 No, we got it on. 480 00:18:03,923 --> 00:18:05,643 Had it off. 481 00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:07,523 Arse on the grass and... 482 00:18:08,603 --> 00:18:10,603 Yeah, plugged away. 483 00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,243 She not tell you about that? 484 00:18:12,243 --> 00:18:14,003 No, she did say. 485 00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:15,723 Yeah, no, she said, 486 00:18:15,723 --> 00:18:18,123 many times. Erm... 487 00:18:18,123 --> 00:18:19,923 I knew about that. 488 00:18:19,923 --> 00:18:21,803 It's an absolute classic, actually. 489 00:18:21,803 --> 00:18:24,243 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah... 490 00:18:24,243 --> 00:18:26,323 You all right? Yeah, I'm good, man. 491 00:18:26,323 --> 00:18:28,723 MAYA: Oh, God. Have you frozen? 492 00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:31,323 No, sorry. The signal's crap here. 493 00:18:31,323 --> 00:18:33,483 It's like being in a submarine... 494 00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:36,163 ..full of stuffed animals. 495 00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:37,923 Ew. 496 00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:39,723 Are you alone? 497 00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,803 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jav's in the kitchen. 498 00:18:41,803 --> 00:18:43,443 She's cooking, so I can keep on working. 499 00:18:43,443 --> 00:18:46,283 Oh, right. And what about the others? 500 00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:49,043 How do you mean? 501 00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:51,083 All the others have finished? 502 00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:53,523 No, there aren't any others. 503 00:18:54,563 --> 00:18:55,803 Uh... 504 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:57,883 Oh, sorry, I thought... I thought you knew that. 505 00:18:57,883 --> 00:19:00,403 Uh, yeah, no, I... 506 00:19:00,403 --> 00:19:01,643 Yeah. 507 00:19:03,923 --> 00:19:05,163 So... 508 00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:09,083 Oh, you've frozen again. 509 00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:11,683 No, sorry, that's...that's just my face. 510 00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:15,163 Erm... So, sorry, it's just you and Jav? 511 00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:17,123 Is no-one else there? 512 00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,483 Uh... 513 00:19:18,483 --> 00:19:20,843 Yeah, well, only because Ashad couldn't come... 514 00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:22,443 Sam, piss off! 515 00:19:22,443 --> 00:19:23,683 SAM: All right. 516 00:19:24,803 --> 00:19:26,803 Oh, my God, what is that? 517 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:33,083 Granny, what are you doing? 518 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,283 Oh, hello, Sam. 519 00:19:35,283 --> 00:19:37,483 Just waiting for the owls. 520 00:19:37,483 --> 00:19:39,683 Right. Are you shivering? 521 00:19:39,683 --> 00:19:41,243 Uh, no. 522 00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:44,603 No, I've just had half a thermos of coffee to keep me awake, 523 00:19:44,603 --> 00:19:46,763 so I'm extremely jittery. 524 00:19:46,763 --> 00:19:49,083 Right. What time is it? 525 00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:51,123 It's about five past eight. 526 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,683 Oh, my God...! 527 00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:54,443 Oh, my God. OK, I can do this. 528 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,043 PAUL: I can't even think about it. 529 00:19:56,043 --> 00:19:58,723 RACHEL: Well, there's no need to get all weird about it. 530 00:19:58,723 --> 00:20:00,323 You said it was innocent. It was. 531 00:20:00,323 --> 00:20:02,443 You had sex in a graveyard, Rachel. Ah... 532 00:20:02,443 --> 00:20:05,283 I mean, I don't remember that scene in Dawson's Creek. Ah...! 533 00:20:05,283 --> 00:20:07,523 You know, it's just so disrespectful. 534 00:20:07,523 --> 00:20:09,563 All right, don't...don't try and shame me. 535 00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:12,403 It's not like you don't have any skeletons in your cupboard. 536 00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:13,923 Not like that, I don't. 537 00:20:13,923 --> 00:20:16,083 You've probably had a threesome with a skeleton. 538 00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,603 Oh, don't be so childish. I mean... 539 00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,243 God, how could you even get turned on in that context? 540 00:20:20,243 --> 00:20:22,043 We just thought it'd be funny. 541 00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:25,043 Really? Cos you know what I think about in graveyards, Rachel? 542 00:20:25,043 --> 00:20:26,283 Death! 543 00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:28,283 I didn't enjoy it, for what it's worth. 544 00:20:28,283 --> 00:20:31,243 It was very damp and nettle-y. Oh, God...! 545 00:20:31,243 --> 00:20:34,003 I mean, we've not even had sex outside. 546 00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:35,323 No, I know. Or not in a bed. 547 00:20:35,323 --> 00:20:37,523 Or not in the dark. I know, I know you don't do that. 548 00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:40,003 Don't make me out to be some sort of Victorian just because 549 00:20:40,003 --> 00:20:41,683 I haven't had it off on top of a corpse. 550 00:20:41,683 --> 00:20:44,523 I'm not calling you a Victorian. I'm calling you a coward. 551 00:20:44,523 --> 00:20:47,443 Of course you never have sex outside. You're not even going 552 00:20:47,443 --> 00:20:49,803 to confront Ray about cheating you out of a medal, 553 00:20:49,803 --> 00:20:52,963 even after we've come out all this way! 554 00:20:52,963 --> 00:20:54,283 Are you? 555 00:20:57,643 --> 00:21:00,043 Well, don't...don't storm off. 556 00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,083 Paul? 557 00:21:02,163 --> 00:21:03,443 Paul! 558 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:06,363 Paul! 559 00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:10,643 OK, listen to me, you son of a bitch! What? 560 00:21:10,643 --> 00:21:12,443 You shafted me on purpose! 561 00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:15,003 Are you all right? In '07! I'm fine. Uh-huh. 562 00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:17,603 At the Team GB meet in Leeds! Oh, not that again, Peej. 563 00:21:17,603 --> 00:21:19,163 You sneezed during my final shot. 564 00:21:19,163 --> 00:21:21,883 If I'd have got eight or over, then that medal would be mine. 565 00:21:21,883 --> 00:21:24,683 I can't help sneezing, if that is even what I did. 566 00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,243 Well, you did, very loudly. 567 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,523 Yeah, and very fakely. 568 00:21:27,523 --> 00:21:29,083 It's all on video. Is it? 569 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:30,923 The fake sneeze designed to put me off... 570 00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,563 And can you stop whisking, please?! 571 00:21:32,563 --> 00:21:34,803 Can you stop whisking, you swine?! Please! 572 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:39,443 That medal should be mine and you know it. 573 00:21:39,443 --> 00:21:42,123 Well, that's pathetic AND weird. 574 00:21:42,123 --> 00:21:44,163 It's not my fault that I'm the better archer. 575 00:21:44,163 --> 00:21:46,123 Oh, you think so, do you? Yeah, I know so. 576 00:21:46,123 --> 00:21:49,323 Well, then, you won't mind a little rematch tomorrow, then, will you? 577 00:21:49,323 --> 00:21:52,323 You're embarrassing yourself, Peej. I didn't put you off. 578 00:21:52,323 --> 00:21:54,123 What's the matter? Are you chicken? No. 579 00:21:54,123 --> 00:21:56,083 Chicken? No. Huh? No, I'm not. 580 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,523 PAUL SQUAWKS 581 00:21:57,523 --> 00:21:59,403 Cockle-doodle-doo! 582 00:21:59,403 --> 00:22:01,243 I'm not a chicken. Cockle-doodle-doo! 583 00:22:01,243 --> 00:22:02,723 SAM: Dad, that's a rooster. 584 00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,043 Which is a type of chicken! 585 00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:07,083 I'm not a chicken, I said! Peej! 586 00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:08,923 Great... Great. 587 00:22:08,923 --> 00:22:10,843 Well, then, we're on. Yeah. 588 00:22:10,843 --> 00:22:12,363 Tomorrow morning. Yeah. 589 00:22:12,363 --> 00:22:14,523 And if I win, I get the medal! 590 00:22:14,523 --> 00:22:16,123 Right, what about if I win? 591 00:22:16,123 --> 00:22:17,603 Well, if you win, you get... 592 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,123 Rachel. What? I get Rachel. 593 00:22:19,123 --> 00:22:22,483 No. What the hell are you talking about? Of course you don't. 594 00:22:22,483 --> 00:22:24,283 Definitely not, no? No... No! 595 00:22:24,283 --> 00:22:25,603 This isn't medieval times. 596 00:22:25,603 --> 00:22:27,923 You don't win women in sports competitions any more - 597 00:22:27,923 --> 00:22:30,003 at least, I don't think you do. In Formula 1, maybe. 598 00:22:30,003 --> 00:22:32,163 I'm saying you'd have to agree to it, too, of course. 599 00:22:32,163 --> 00:22:34,483 Well, I don't. Why would I do that? 600 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:38,003 Because I thought maybe you might harbour... No. 601 00:22:38,003 --> 00:22:40,683 No, no. This harbour is totally empty. 602 00:22:40,683 --> 00:22:42,883 Frankly, Ray, you give me the creeps - 603 00:22:42,883 --> 00:22:45,083 that's why we broke up after just under a month. 604 00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:47,363 The best just-under-a-month of my whole life. 605 00:22:47,363 --> 00:22:50,043 Oh, for God's sake. You'll have to win something else. 606 00:22:50,043 --> 00:22:51,923 All right, £1,000. Deal. Yep. 607 00:22:51,923 --> 00:22:53,763 Yeah, that's my monetary value, is it? Deal. 608 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:56,003 What are you saying deal for? We don't have £1,000. 609 00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,563 We won't need £1,000 610 00:22:57,563 --> 00:23:00,043 cos it's in the bag, mate! You'll need it, you'll need £1,000. 611 00:23:00,043 --> 00:23:01,843 YOU'LL need £1,000. Why would I need it? 612 00:23:01,843 --> 00:23:04,723 I'm giving you the medal if you win! Think about the rules, man! 613 00:23:04,723 --> 00:23:05,923 We're going to win! 614 00:23:05,923 --> 00:23:07,843 Au contraire, Peej! This is my game! 615 00:23:07,843 --> 00:23:10,603 Sam, will you promise me to have therapy when you get older? 616 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:13,003 Because I don't want you turning out like that, OK? 617 00:23:13,003 --> 00:23:14,163 SAM: Yes, Mum. 618 00:23:16,803 --> 00:23:19,043 All right, Dad, ready. 619 00:23:20,563 --> 00:23:22,123 Here we go then, young Peej. 620 00:23:22,123 --> 00:23:24,283 Three arrows each, highest score wins. 621 00:23:24,283 --> 00:23:25,963 Yeah, we know. Get on with it. 622 00:23:25,963 --> 00:23:29,843 I shall, uh, text you my bank details. 623 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,883 We won't need them. Don't bother, mate. 624 00:23:34,443 --> 00:23:36,443 Ooh. 625 00:23:36,443 --> 00:23:37,763 Someone's on the board. 626 00:23:37,763 --> 00:23:39,283 Over to you, sir. OK. 627 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:43,483 Go on, Paul. 628 00:23:43,483 --> 00:23:44,763 SAM: Go on, Dad. 629 00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,243 Oh. 630 00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:49,843 Having a bit of trouble there, Peej? 631 00:23:49,843 --> 00:23:52,563 The pointy end goes in the front, mate. 632 00:23:52,563 --> 00:23:54,403 Be quiet, Ray, please. 633 00:23:55,963 --> 00:23:58,603 That's it. Steady. 634 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,203 Take your time, Paul. Take your ti... 635 00:24:01,203 --> 00:24:03,923 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! 636 00:24:03,923 --> 00:24:06,083 Straight in the old five there. 637 00:24:06,083 --> 00:24:08,163 It's OK. It's OK, Paul. Don't mind if I do. 638 00:24:08,163 --> 00:24:10,923 It's all right, it's good. Were you going for that? 639 00:24:10,923 --> 00:24:13,003 Peej? Yep. Were you going for the five? 640 00:24:13,003 --> 00:24:14,923 Mm-hm. All right, good plan. 641 00:24:14,923 --> 00:24:17,923 Yeah, of course I was. Got to have a plan. 642 00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:20,443 Got to have a plan. I'm a bit rusty. 643 00:24:20,443 --> 00:24:22,843 How are you feeling, Gran? 644 00:24:22,843 --> 00:24:24,883 Oh, awful. 645 00:24:24,883 --> 00:24:26,763 Jet lagged. 646 00:24:26,763 --> 00:24:31,563 I was buzzing till about 9:30 and then I hit the wall, conked out. 647 00:24:31,563 --> 00:24:35,283 Totally missed the owls, if they even came. 648 00:24:35,283 --> 00:24:39,603 And I've no interest in taking acid any more, not after that. 649 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,363 Right. 650 00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:45,323 Come on, Dad. 651 00:24:45,323 --> 00:24:47,603 Make that 13-5, I think, Peej. Yep. 652 00:24:47,603 --> 00:24:48,883 You're up. 653 00:24:48,883 --> 00:24:51,163 How old's this bow, Ray? Action's a bit stiff, mate. 654 00:24:51,163 --> 00:24:54,443 Oh, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, I see. Action's a bit stiff. Yes. 655 00:24:54,443 --> 00:24:56,363 Excuses, excuses, Peej. 656 00:24:56,363 --> 00:24:58,043 Oh, come on, you two. 657 00:24:58,043 --> 00:25:01,043 Stop waggling your willies around and get on with it. 658 00:25:02,283 --> 00:25:03,363 Willies? 659 00:25:04,723 --> 00:25:06,563 RACHEL: You've got this, Paul. Yep. 660 00:25:10,523 --> 00:25:12,643 Yes! 661 00:25:12,643 --> 00:25:14,083 Well done. 662 00:25:14,083 --> 00:25:17,523 13-12, Dad. You can do it. Really...beautiful. 663 00:25:17,523 --> 00:25:19,883 Big one here... Uh-huh. ..and you're out of it. 664 00:25:27,723 --> 00:25:30,043 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh... 665 00:25:30,043 --> 00:25:32,883 Yes, please! That's how it's done, Raymond! 666 00:25:32,883 --> 00:25:34,563 21-12! 667 00:25:34,563 --> 00:25:36,723 You going to bow out now or...? Shot. 668 00:25:36,723 --> 00:25:38,523 Shot. 669 00:25:38,523 --> 00:25:40,163 You need a big one. 670 00:25:40,163 --> 00:25:41,883 21-12, Peej! Little bit rusty... 671 00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:43,643 Are you OK? Mm-hm. Yeah? 672 00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,643 It's only a medal, you know that? 673 00:25:45,643 --> 00:25:47,163 It doesn't change anything. 674 00:25:47,163 --> 00:25:50,443 We all love you anyway. OK... 675 00:25:50,443 --> 00:25:53,723 That said, we really don't have £1,000, so you do need to get a ten. 676 00:25:59,563 --> 00:26:01,283 RAY SQUEALS 677 00:26:03,003 --> 00:26:05,763 My bad, Peej. Thought I was going to sneeze. Yeah. 678 00:26:05,763 --> 00:26:07,603 I heard. Just kidding, mate. OK. 679 00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,523 ARROW LOOSES 680 00:26:11,803 --> 00:26:13,523 Oh. Ten! 681 00:26:13,523 --> 00:26:14,563 Yes! Yes! 682 00:26:14,563 --> 00:26:16,563 I got ten! Yes! Yes! 683 00:26:16,563 --> 00:26:18,923 I got a ten! OK... 684 00:26:18,923 --> 00:26:21,123 And it's all on camera. You got that, right, Sam? 685 00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:22,323 Uh... You got that last shot? 686 00:26:22,323 --> 00:26:23,563 Yep. Oh, yes. 687 00:26:23,563 --> 00:26:26,563 Finally, having you film everything pays off, mate. Ah... 688 00:26:26,563 --> 00:26:28,163 Erm, where's Amy? 689 00:26:28,163 --> 00:26:30,723 Uh... Oh, yeah. 690 00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:32,323 Where's Amy? 691 00:26:33,443 --> 00:26:35,683 God. Oh, my God, where is she? It'll be OK, it'll be fine. 692 00:26:35,683 --> 00:26:37,643 We'll find her. Did she say anything to you, Sam? 693 00:26:37,643 --> 00:26:40,043 Of course not. She only talks to me to tell me to shut up. 694 00:26:40,043 --> 00:26:42,003 There. There she is, Up there, on the left. 695 00:26:42,003 --> 00:26:43,723 Ah... 696 00:26:43,723 --> 00:26:45,723 Amy! Amy...! 697 00:26:48,643 --> 00:26:51,243 Oh, Amy. Where were you going? 698 00:26:52,603 --> 00:26:54,723 I was trying to walk to Cardigan! 699 00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:57,603 These stupid country roads all look the bloody same! 700 00:26:57,603 --> 00:27:00,443 Oh, well, that's, uh, lazy journalism. 701 00:27:00,443 --> 00:27:01,763 That's clearly the B4570... 702 00:27:01,763 --> 00:27:03,243 Shut up, Ray. Yeah. 703 00:27:03,243 --> 00:27:06,603 Why were you going to Cardigan? To get the bus to Swansea and... 704 00:27:06,603 --> 00:27:08,123 AMY SNIFFLES 705 00:27:09,403 --> 00:27:12,643 It's just Maya and Jav in the house. 706 00:27:12,643 --> 00:27:14,483 Oh, Amy... 707 00:27:14,483 --> 00:27:16,883 I thought they were all going, 708 00:27:16,883 --> 00:27:18,843 but it's just the two of them! 709 00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:24,683 Hey, on the... On the plus side, I won a medal. 710 00:27:24,683 --> 00:27:25,883 Not now. 711 00:27:25,883 --> 00:27:27,923 Achoo-ah! 712 00:27:27,923 --> 00:27:29,883 Bless you. 713 00:27:29,883 --> 00:27:31,563 Thank you. 714 00:27:31,563 --> 00:27:34,043 Bloody ragweed, always sets me off. 715 00:27:35,483 --> 00:27:38,643 Achoo-ah! Oh! 716 00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:43,603 Achoo-ah! 717 00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:45,723 Ah... 718 00:27:47,643 --> 00:27:49,283 Achoo-ah! 719 00:27:51,443 --> 00:27:53,523 Achoo-ah! 720 00:27:55,603 --> 00:27:57,563 Achoo-ah! 721 00:27:58,923 --> 00:28:01,123 Cheers, then, Peej. OK. 722 00:28:01,123 --> 00:28:02,483 See you in a bit, Rach. 723 00:28:03,803 --> 00:28:06,163 OK. Bye, Ray. 724 00:28:10,763 --> 00:28:14,443 I actually thought it was quite an ugly medal, to be honest. 725 00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:15,523 Thanks, Mum. 726 00:28:17,083 --> 00:28:19,203 It's better that he keeps it, you know? 727 00:28:20,283 --> 00:28:22,243 He needs it more than me. 728 00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:23,683 I've got you lot. 729 00:28:23,683 --> 00:28:26,043 Aw. You're my bronze medal. 730 00:28:26,043 --> 00:28:30,043 Oh, right. So, we're the third best family you could get, are we? 731 00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:32,683 I meant that in a nice way, Amy, thank you. Hey, who is up for 732 00:28:32,683 --> 00:28:35,203 going to the seaside? No. Yes! Oh, yes, please! 733 00:28:35,203 --> 00:28:37,003 That's a great idea! Brilliant. Great. 734 00:28:37,003 --> 00:28:38,163 Amy? Yeah. Yeah, sure. 735 00:28:38,163 --> 00:28:39,603 Lovely. 736 00:28:39,603 --> 00:28:40,763 Chips.