[soft jazz music]
♪ ♪
[bell dings]
♪ ♪
- Let's talk logistics if we were to move forward.
- All right.
So we're gonna do it every other week
on a Tuesday or Thursday
because Jason's in preschool those days,
and three out of four will be plenty enough to cover errands.
- It should be a motel.
- Yes, somewhere close to your office.
I'll bring lunch so we can have your entire break.
I will handle check in, clean up, same reason.
- Always pay cash. - Of course.
But I do think it's important
that we split costs afterwards--
right down the middle so there's no sense of--you know.
Oh, and um, most important rule.
If either of us start to develop feelings
for the other, it's over, right then and there.
I mean, that's how you get caught.
Oh, and never call the house.
Not even if you know that Pat is not gonna be home.
Becky and Jason are smarter than you think.
- I still have to go by the deli.
CANDY: Well, we don't wanna get caught before we start.
- If we start.
- The longer you delay, the more I'm gonna expect
from you, in terms of the bedroom.
- I realize that.
[phone ringing]
- Allan Gore.
- I'm pregnant.
[soft music]
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Are you sure?
- I just came from the doctor.
- Oh, my God.
- [crying]
- Why are you crying?
- 'Cause I still haven't gotten
the baby weight off from Christina.
And the second one's supposed to be even worse.
- Oh, who cares? - You care.
- I don't care.
- Yes, you do, and you know what I'm talking about.
- Okay, I'm not having this conversation at work.
BETTY: I'm telling you right now,
this better not be like last time, okay?
- Okay, yeah. Love you, honey. Bye.
[indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪
It's me.
Let's do it.
- Now, what did I say about calling the house?
[radio playing indistinctly]
[children chattering]
CANDY: Oh, I like that shirt on you.
- Oh, thanks.
CANDY: Have a great day. - Thank you.
[both chuckle]
Bye. - Bye.
[disquieting music]
♪ ♪
[knocking]
- Oh, great.
I'm starving.
Oh, she just has no respect for what I do.
I mean, any little question pops into her head,
she'll just call me at the office.
- Well, we've eaten everything.
- Yes, we sure have.
Thank you.
Aren't you gonna do anything?
- Not if you're not going to.
♪ ♪
CANDY: Well, I have news. SHERRY: Oh?
- I have taken a lover.
- What?
Wow. Okay. Uh, who is it?
- No, I can't. - You come on.
- If you keep digging, I'm not gonna tell you anything at all.
- All right.
- I just can't have this thing getting out.
You know, I don't want the other wives to feel like
I'm some kind of a threat.
- I knew he was married. - Sherry.
- I--Fine.
- Yesterday was the first time.
- Where?
- At a motel, a sleazy one in Dallas.
- Jesus. Were you nervous or what?
- Honestly, I was just so worried that the sex
was gonna be average.
And I know it makes me horrible--
- It does not.
- I just don't wanna go through all this trouble
if it's something I can have at home, you know?
I mean, if I'm gonna risk my whole life,
I just want fireworks.
- And?
- Let me have that little screwdriver--
- You--Candance Montgomery, if you don't gimme details
this second, I'm gonna take the little screwdriver
and I'ma shove it in your ear.
- I think he might have the most beautiful penis
I've ever seen.
- Mommy! Mommy! Watch our dance.
[cheerful ballet music playing]
♪ ♪
- Watch our dance.
- I'm watching, girls.
[indistinct chatter]
- Hey. - Hi.
BECKY: Mom, it wasn't over.
- It's so sweet that these girls have become friends.
- I know. - Isn't it? Yeah.
BETTY: All we hear from Christina these days
is Becky this, Becky that.
[both laugh]
She's just so happy to have a friend.
- Well, she is welcome over anytime for a sleepover.
- Aww.
I remember when I looked like that and thought I was fat.
- You're not fat.
- Just feel like a tub of lard,
and it's just going to get worse.
I'm pregnant.
- Oh, my God, Betty. Congratulations.
Is this hormones already?
- No.
Maybe.
Pregnancy is magical and everything,
but last time...
I just felt really alone.
- Well, you're-- you're not really ever alone.
- That's true.
- You got Allan.
- Allan didn't, um,
pay much attention to me
when I was pregnant with Christina.
The weird thing is, he's been looking really good lately.
- I wonder if he's got this Madonna-whore complex thingy,
you know, where the baby is making it impossible for him
to look at you as a sexual creature.
It's very common, says Ladies' Home Journal.
- Well.
Oh, God, that sounds really bad.
- No, it's good that he sees you as the Madonna.
You just gotta remind him that you can also be the...
[clicks tongue]
You know what.
- You know, nobody else talks to me like this.
- You're welcome.
- I mean--
- I'd like to host your baby shower.
- You don't have to. - Nonsense.
I've got the best party house.
- You do. Um.
I don't know what to say.
- Well, just say yes. - Yes.
- Okay. It's settled then.
- It's settled.
CANDY: She just told me the news,
and I just-- I couldn't help myself.
I was overwhelmed, and I offered.
ALLAN: Why would you offer that?
- Because I have the best party house.
And I think I might be her only friend.
Congratulations, by the way,
you can already start to see her cute little belly.
Well, we should get on with it.
Come over here and unzip me, please.
ALLAN: Yep.
- Is there something else you wanna try this time,
you just let me know, okay?
BETTY: I've just been really hormonal,
but I've decided I'm not going to do that anymore.
For the next seven months,
I'm-I'm going to have a positive attitude.
- Okay.
Betty, what are you doing?
- What if tonight...
I'm not Betty?
- What is this?
- Well,
Candy said it's really simple.
- Candy?
- I'm the mother of your children,
but that's not all I am.
What's wrong?
- Why are you talking to Candy Montgomery
about our sex life? - I'm not talking to--
- You think Candy and Pat are having some kind
of great sex or something?
- I-I don't know.
- No, I'm just, I'm-I'm trying to understand
where all this is coming from.
BETTY: It's coming from--I--
I love you, that's it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- Dog needs a walk.
RON: Has everyone had a chance to review my proposal?
ELAINE: Yes, we read it.
BETTY: 10 grand. Are you nuts?
ELAINE: It is a rather high number.
- [sighs] The parsonage is in bad shape.
The toilet needs replacing, there's exposed insulation
coming out of a hole in the paneling.
- Well, this isn't the Ewing ranch.
We all work on our own homes.
RON: Maybe it'd be more helpful
if we went through the items one by one.
- Would you like me to suggest
what I think you should do with the items one by one?
[indistinct chatter]
- We are with you on the money issue.
SANDRA: As far as we're concerned, his proposal
is dead on arrival.
- That man has lost his mind.
- Now, when you were being rather direct
with Reverend Ron--
- Marriage Encounter has taught us
that sometimes when we're angry about one thing,
it's really about something else.
- Marriage Encounter?
SANDRA: Mm-hmm. We gave it a shot,
and we're more connected now than we've ever been.
- Well, um, Allan and I are fine.
- Oh, Marriage Encounter isn't for problem marriages.
SANDRA: No, it's just a community of love and support.
- Our favorite is the love ring.
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't--is that a sex thing?
- Oh, no. ELAINE: Blessings.
- Hey. - Goodbye, Elaine.
SANDRA: [laughs] No, it's a phone.
See, one couple will call another couple any ole time.
They'll let it ring once and they hang up.
Just a little something to let 'em know
they're thinking about 'em.
JEFFREY: They're very smart.
It's beyond psychology.
It's about emotions. - Mm-hmm.
So it's for good marriages,
and we're all just here to help each other.
And well, it affects all sorts of things.
[chuckles]
[children laughing, chattering]
PAT: All right.
I'm gonna get a jog in.
[Allan and Candy grunting]
[urine splashing]
- I'm having feelings for you.
ALLAN: What?
CANDY: Yeah, um,
I caught myself staring at you at choir practicing, and...
Well, don't worry, nobody noticed.
But I--this is gonna have to be the last time.
- At choir practice? - Mm-hmm.
- Can we talk about it?
- Well, a rule is a rule.
- Well, we can't just stop.
- Well, we have to.
It has been fun while it's lasted.
Oh, you gotta go.
Allan.
- This can't be the last time, Candy.
- Well, it has to be--
ALLAN: I know. I don't care.
I need it.
- Need what? ALLAN: You, I--
your body.
The way that it moves.
I haven't had enough.
- You're gonna be late.
ALLAN: I don't care.
[both panting]
- Allan? - Yeah?
- Could you look up from that?
- Yeah.
- I wanna do something with you,
and it's very important to me.
And I really think it could help us.
- Okay.
- I wanna try Marriage Encounter.
- The "Ask me about ME" thing that the Lockets do?
- I know it sounds really corny,
but it's supposed to be amazing.
And I really think we could have fun with it.
- Hey, I think it's a great idea.
- Okay. - Okay.
[gentle music]
♪ ♪
MARY LOU: Welcome.
JACK: Everybody get a donut?
Well, you followed the treasure map,
answered the Sphinx's riddle, and you--
Honey, what is it?
MARY LOU: Said the magic word.
JACK: Oh, I get it wrong every time.
[chuckles]
Well, you made it.
Welcome to the Marriage Encounter weekend retreat,
where Mary Lou and I, we're gonna help you
fall in love with your spouse all over again.
[crowd murmurs and applauds]
MARY LOU: And there's only one way to do that.
JACK: That's right.
We're gonna crack open your relationships like a coconut.
Scoop all the meat out.
Now I know some of the men here aren't very relaxed right now.
You worked hard all week.
You earned your time on the golf course this weekend.
And why a whole weekend, Jack?
Well, let me answer that question with another question.
How many of you go on, you know, business trips,
weekend work seminars, corporate retreats,
that type of thing?
Mm-hmm.
Good. Good.
Mm-hmm.
If you're willing to invest three days for your career,
why not invest it in the most important relationship
in your entire life?
[scattered applause]
Okay, here we go. It's Friday night.
Kids are in bed.
Betty's cleaned up after supper.
You're on the couch watching TV.
I'm sure this is a familiar occurrence in the Gore home,
but tell me this.
What happens next?
- Can I say something? - Yes. Turn to him.
Speak directly to him.
What are you doing for yourself sexually?
Well...
Because I understand your appetite going down
while I'm pregnant, it's--
but it just would really help me
if I knew what it was you were doing.
- Betty, this isn't--
Is this what we're supposed to be doing?
- Whoop, whoop. Whoop. Time out, time out. Okay.
Allan, now, first of all,
I know you're probably listening to all this
and everything's beep-bop, beep-bop, bee-beep, right?
Computers guy?
But you're gonna answer Betty's question
in graphic detail, okay?
And anything else that comes up
'cause here's the secret, all right?
Before we get started,
you're gonna make a commitment to each other.
You're gonna commit right now to stay in this marriage
no matter what is said in this room.
- That's how this works. JACK: Hmm?
Very smart people who came up with Marriage Encounter studied
a lot of couples, hundreds of them.
And they found that the number one impediment
to honest communication is fear.
Fear of it disrupting the marriage.
- So, um, we kind of make a promise to each other
that we're not gonna hold anything
against each other no matter what it is?
- Without that, how could we be really honest?
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[knocking]
- Hey. - Hey.
- How was the weekend? - It was tough but good.
- Hi, Daddy. ALLAN: Good.
Hey, honey, come on.
Thank you so much. - Sure.
ALLAN: Okay, hop in.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
CANDY: Hey, how you doing? You okay?
[cork pops]
ELAINE: Is it okay to open this?
- It's fine.
Hey.
Oh, I was thinking, can't we just nuke these?
- No, because they have these fun little metal handles,
and of course the princess just had to have Chinese.
My goddamn luck, they forgot to put the--
they forgot to put the fortune cookies in the bag.
- Okay. What is going on here?
- I'm fucking Allan.
- What? - If you ever repeat that,
I swear I'll tell everyone you slept with Pat.
- He's the beautiful penis? - Sherry.
- Just--I'm trying to understand.
I mean, how-how do you go from that
to hosting her baby shower?
- Who else was gonna do it?
And besides, we have the best party house.
SHERRY: We--oh, Lord, honey.
Allan Gore?
Isn't that kind of a lateral move?
[doorbell chimes] - Give me a break, Sherry.
Who else is there?
May I present the woman of the hour, Mrs. Betty Gore.
There she is. ALL: Oh!
CANDY: So beautiful.
- I can't--
goodness.
Y-you did too much. This is so beautiful.
- Oh, my God, Betty.
This is the best you've ever looked.
- Honestly, you're one hot mama.
- Thank you. [laughter]
- This is when I was gonna pop that champagne.
- What? CANDY: Nothing.
- Sweetheart, I'm gonna go. - Oh, can't you stay?
ALLAN: Oh, no, I was gonna get a-a new belt
for the mower and get the lawn done.
BETTY: You could do that later.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Sure.
I'll see if Pat's around. BETTY: Okay. [chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪
- Oh, is Valerie not just the most perfect name?
- It is the perfect balance.
Classic but not old fashioned,
ripe for a comeback but not overused.
- And I said it before, but I will say it again.
I mean, this is the best you've ever looked.
- Thank you.
[laughter]
- What was that?
- What? - You just winked at her.
- Well, that glow, it's not the baby.
- Oh? - It's Marriage Encounter.
- Oh! Oh, you're still doing that?
- Yeah, we just became Flame Leaders.
- Whoo-hoo! CANDY: Whoo!
That's great.
You know, Pat and I tried that,
but we just didn't really think it was for us.
[laughs] We left after one night.
But, um, I'm, uh, really happy for you.
Y'all excuse me just for one sec.
- Jesus.
- She knows.
SHERRY: I don't think so. - She does, and he told her.
SHERRY: Okay, there's no possible way.
CANDY: That's what they do in Marriage Encounter, okay?
They share everything.
- Look, I thought it was wife swapping.
- That's why it stopped, 'cause she knows.
- No normal woman would come to this house if she knew
that you were sleeping with her husband.
- Was.
He's canceled our last two rendezvous.
- Oh.
[children chattering]
- Candy said you got a new job.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Super Circuits?
- Consumer Circuits.
- I haven't heard of it.
- Well, it's new, so you wouldn't have.
It's not without risks.
But you only live once.
And getting in on the ground floor
does have its advantages.
Lots of upsides.
- Yeah, I'd love be out there cowboying it with you,
but you know, TI just treats me too damn good.
- You're overworking your meat.
It's first rule of grilling, you only wanna flip 'em once.
PARTYGOER: So sweet. PARTYGOER: It's not for you.
- Betty should try it on. You should try it on.
- I'm gonna check your bag at the end of this thing.
BETTY: Oh, look.
- Of course, somebody had to be the practical one.
PARTYGOER: That's perfect.
- I will be thanking you for this when I run out one night.
[laughter]
SANDRA: Miss Candy, can I use your phone?
- Oh, sure, it's in the kitchen.
- Who are you calling in the middle of a party?
SANDRA: It's Jeffrey. - Oh, come on.
- I must confess. I miss my husband.
- Oh, Lord.
- Go and call your man. - She's serious.
- Yeah. - Oh, my goodness.
- I would be calling Allan too if he wasn't right outside.
I like to keep him where I can see him these days.
- Well, Tom and I found out
we get along a lot better after a little time apart.
[laughter]
CANDY: And I mean come on, y'all,
you Marriage Encounter people,
I mean, it is just talk, talk, talk.
SANDRA: I can hear you. CANDY: I-I know.
- Well, you know, talking can be very, um, energizing.
PARTYGOER: Absolutely.
BETTY: It's so scary at first,
but, um, once you really get intimate with your husband,
you would be shocked at the untapped emotion
that you have inside.
Passion and tenderness, but...
Also forgiveness and acceptance.
PARTYGOER: It's very true. PARTYGOER: Amen.
- What about a little thing called privacy?
Because honestly, last thing I really want
is to have Pat Montgomery knowing everything I do
and think every second of the day.
- Can I see you in the kitchen?
BETTY: Well, that may work for you.
But once Allan and I got rid of all our secrets,
our marriage has never been better.
- What happened? - Nothing.
- I-I was waiting for you.
Um.
Well, I am so touched by your generosity,
all of you.
I haven't had friends like this since I moved to Texas,
so it means a lot.
But, um, I wanted to say something to Candy.
[soft sentimental music]
The compassion and friendship you've shown me
over the past few months...
Has touched me in a very deep way.
You've been there for me
through some really hard times...
And I'll never forget it.
[alarm blaring]
Oh, thank you.
CANDY: You told her, didn't you?
- Not here, please.
- Did you tell her?
- No.
CANDY: Who are you lying to? Her or me?
- I didn't tell her.
- 'Cause I don't need her going around
using my life as gossip to make friends.
- The only affair that came out
in Marriage Encounter was Betty's.
- Betty's?
- Yes, a long time ago.
Look, um,
the Marriage Encounter, um,
I think it's working.
I mean, it's a lot of work, and I think...
I think I should probably focus on that.
- If it's working, we should stop.
ALLAN: That's kind of what I was thinking.
Things are better, I-I think.
- For everyone.
ALLAN: And thank you
for being her friend, it--
it means a lot to her, and to both of us.
- Of course.
[disquieting music]
♪ ♪
[dog barking]
[knocking on door]
- Hey, Christina, you're just in time for Parcheesi.
Get in there. BECKY: Come in!
- Hi, Candy.
- Where is that baby? - Oh, with Allan.
I actually, I have a few minutes.
- Okay.
- Oh, um...
Did I do something wrong?
I just feel like we were so close.
And I haven't heard from you since the baby.
- Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I've just been so busy.
- Good.
But would you-- [child screams]
CANDY: I'm sorry, I've gotta get.
When it comes to board games, we don't screw around.
BETTY: [chuckles] Right.
Okay, um, well, do you wanna have lunch sometime?
- Sure, see you soon. Bye.
BECKY: I won!
PAT: Wait, we haven't even started.
Where is the starting position?
Before the game starts, each player has to move
all their four of their pawns in the start area, that's here.
No, that's the home.
So you need to put them in the start,
which is over in the corner there.
So to enter a pawn, a five must be thrown on the dice.
Is that on one die-- - All right, who wants sundaes?
[children screaming]
JASON: Butterscotch! Butterscotch!
PAT: Are you seriously gonna make sundaes?
- Why not. BECKY: You're the best, Mom.
- Yeah, she is. CANDY: Aww, thank you.
[car honks] Oh, shoot, that's Sherry.
I totally forgot about English class.
JASON: No!
CHRISTINA: Do we still got sundaes?
- Yeah. Come on. Let your mom have her fun.
- No, it's-it's okay.
I'll just tell her I can't make it tonight.
- Go--I'll take care of the sundaes.
You go to class.
- Okay. Thanks, hon.
[children bickering]
- Oh, hey, hon, would you mind throwing some fudge
in the microwave before you leave?
Maybe chop up some peanuts?
[soft music]
- Of course.
SHERRY: What is in this bag?
Candace Montgomery, what in the world?
- We are playing hooky. SHERRY: We are?
- Mm-hmm. Just drive. SHERRY: [laughs] Okay.
[Allan brushing teeth]
[phone rings once]
- Love ring. ALLAN: Mm-hmm.
- I wonder who that was.
[Allan spits]
We don't have to do this if you don't want to.
- Of course I want to.
You always feel better after, right?
- I do. ALLAN: Yeah.
BETTY: Okay.
[Allan grunting softly]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[wolf whistle]
[wolf whistling continues]
[people cheering]
PERSON: Yeah, baby. Shake it, baby.
[baby crying]
- Bye.
[soft dramatic music]
[baby fussing]
♪ ♪
- How was class?
- It was great.
[unsettling music]
♪ ♪
[baby wailing]