2 - (SOFT, DREAMY MUSIC) - (BANGLES JANGLE)
(REEMA SINGS GENTLY IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
Hello.
(CONTINUES SINGING)
OK.
And then I say...
(CONTINUES SINGING)
She's happy.
Duh! It's my wedding.
And then he says... He's in Egypt. Did I say that?
Sounds like a really cool movie.
It's not a movie, dummy.
It's a dream I just had.
VINCE: Oh...
Um, another Bollywood dream, huh?
- I'll start again. - Please do.
- You have to picture it, OK? - Alright.
Let me get into the mood, let me get in...
OK, so I'm on a Swiss mountaintop, right?
And I'm wearing a sari like the midnight sky.
And then I see my fiancé, you...
...on a pyramid because Egypt.
- And then you're... - (PHONE TRILLS AND BUZZES)
Like, to me, you start to sing.
(PHONE BUZZES AND TRILLS)
- (PHONE CLICKS) - (SOFTLY) Sorry.
Talia. Hey, what's going on?
No, no, no, I'm free. Go. What... what's up?
Ooh! Yes, yes.
No - what, balloons, chips, lollies? All that stuff?
Um...
Yeah, well... No, no, no, no.
How many times you turn two? You know what I mean?
We gotta make it a big deal for my boy.
Yeah, sweet. I'll pick it up and I'll drop it off as well.
Yeah, and a cake?
Ooh, what type of...
Talia? Hi, it's Reema.
As Vince's current legal representative,
I just wanted to let you know
that he'll no longer be able to confer with you
on any child-rearing issues before 10am.
And, actually, we're trying to organise
this bushwalk for tomorrow,
which I've been trying to plan for forever,
so he'll be unavailable for the entirety of the day.
My client was only requested to donate sperm
and he's donated the sperm,
so maybe you guys should just enjoy the sperm by yourselves.
OK, 'bye!
Wow.
- ARIEL: Did you talk to Vince? - TALIA: Uh-huh.
Did you tell him that he almost definitely has nits?
Nope! Didn't want to get sued.
MALIK: She's going through my hair.
- Thanks for doing this. - MALIK: You can brush it.
- I'd kiss you if you weren't... - Crawling with nits?
Well, they're dead or dying.
They will be dead by the party.
Oh, which I told Vince we're keeping low-key.
I cannot handle a Malik meltdown right now.
- Sure. - (MALIK CHATTERS)
I mean, it's really to celebrate us anyway
for keeping him alive for so long.
- I've gotta go. Gonna be late. - (TALIA GASPS)
- Oh, the rule. - Yes, the rule!
You have to kiss me!
What are you doing?
I am... kissing you.
- (PHONE TRILLS) - Is it OK if you talk to Reema?
You're so much better at that stuff than me.
Emojis don't count. Kiss me!
Nah, it's disgusting. I love you! 'Bye!
(STAMMERS)
(MALIK SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
- (CAMERA CLICKS) - REEMA: Mum, can you knock?
It's difficult when I'm carrying all this laundry
that I've washed and dried and folded
for my unemployed adult daughter.
Thank you, but she's not unemployed. She's at uni.
- And she just made a sale. - Did you?
Well done. (CHUCKLES)
Have you been praying today?
I pray every day.
Five times?
Some days more. That way, I can skip days.
Does it work that way?
Don't try and understand
my relationship with the faith, Mum.
It's very personal.
Alright.
- Mum. - Yeah?
- I have to tell you something. - What?
It's nothing bad.
Um...
Dad's back.
I wanted you to hear it from me.
That's very nice of you, Reema,
but I already know.
- What? - He called me when he got here.
We have spoken several times.
Since when do you two speak?
Don't try to understand my relationship with your father.
It's very personal.
Vince, I know you're done, but we really need you in there.
Gigantic baby, tiny mother.
Uh, not my problem, Van.
- Call Lianie. - Lianie isn't answering.
Do you want me to just explain to the foetus
that you finished your shift?
Hey, maybe I'll see if it wants to pop back in there,
you know, until Lianie gets back.
(BABY CRIES NEARBY)
Um, OK, just give me five seconds, please.
VINCE: Hey, babe, um... Listen. They still need me here.
I'm not sure when I'll be able to get out.
Oh, no!
Would you be able to get all the, um...
...uh, the party stuff?
The girls were saying go low-key, but it's a bit silly.
Yeah, we just... we just need decorations, hats...
Yep, I can do that. Of course. No problem.
- It'll be fun. - Oh, and another thing.
- What? - Um...
We're gonna need party bags. Can you make some?
Of course. Well, how many?
Um, 20, please.
Easy. Yep.
Oh, I just gotta go. OK, 'bye.
'Bye.
What is going to be fun, hm?
How do you feel about going on, like,
a crazy adventure with me?
No.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
(CAR ENGINE REVS)
(HORN TOOTS, BRAKES SQUEAL)
(SCREAMS) Oh!
What the hell?!
I am sorry!
- Rosa! - Angie, I didn't see you.
- You didn't see me? - No.
On your little bike.
You could have killed me!
Ay ya, don't be so exaggerated.
(CHUCKLES) I have to go to work.
Oh, OK. Well, I'll see you there.
Yeah... When? Tonight?
- (LAUGHS) - (TYRES SQUEAL)
(HORN TOOTS)
- (BICYCLE BELL RINGS REPEATEDLY) - (ANGIE PANTS)
(PEOPLE CHATTER)
We are a family business,
so that is something that is for value.
Everything we make, we make it with love.
So this one factory supplies
all of your restaurants and catering clients?
Yes, for now, but we're expanding...
ANGIE: Is that something you do a lot?
Cut off cyclists on the road?
Brian, can I show you the kitchen?
I don't think you realise you very nearly killed me.
Have you seen her car? It's a tank.
Probably uses more petrol than a tank.
Hector, can you handle this, please? (CHUCKLES POLITELY)
- Follow me. - Angie, calm down.
Hector, has a woman ever calmed down
when you say, "Calm down"?
Why does one person need a car that big?
Do you have any concern for your carbon footprint?
Do you care about the environment?
Perhaps I should just leave you to it.
Maybe we can reschedule for next week.
No, no. Wait just a little moment.
Nicky, Nicky?
Hi. Can you show Mr Brian the kitchen?
- Yes, of course. - Yes, just a moment.
- OK. - Thank you.
Angie, some of us have work to do.
So why don't you take your little bike
and your carbon footprint
and get out of my factory, please?
(CLATTERING)
Ohh! Oh!
(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
(EXCLAIMS) Who put this here?
Can't any of you people see bikes?!
- SEBASTIAN: "You people"? - No, you know what?
I don't have time for this. See, call her an Uber.
No, thanks! I ride a bike for a reason.
I see. Last week was being a lesbian.
This week is activism. What's next?
You know what? Don't tell me.
Make it a surprise when you become a beekeeper.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Do you and Oly find it hard to see each other?
Like, for fun stuff, not kid stuff.
Uh, I mean...
...you and Vince aren't having fun?
Oh, no, we are.
But, you know, he's...
- We're both busy. - Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't really...
...worry about it, you know?
Like...
...I can't remember the last time I spent time with Oly
without someone wiping their hands on us
or vomiting on us or...
...making us watch a never-ending dance routine.
But the way I see it,
if we were gonna break up, we probably would have by now.
You did, though.
Exactly.
And now we're good, so...
...you and Vince, just the two of you,
doing whatever you want, whenever you want?
Trust me, you guys have it easy.
Reema...
...seriously?
- What? - Flammable.
Two-year-olds.
Sorry.
Thanks for coming with me to this hellscape, Santi.
If you weren't here, I probably would have just gotten...
...knives and matches.
(CHUCKLES)
It's alright.
Sheesh!
This is all gonna be landfill by the end of the day.
Good thing Angie's not here.
An apology would be just a nice place to start.
I really need to get back to my new client.
Rosa, your business is an ecological disaster.
You could have solar panels on the roof.
Why don't you have solar panels?
Look at your freezers!
You want to run a food business without freezers?
Ay. Alejandro, get Angie a glass of water.
Dumpsters full of wasted food.
Food waste is the third-biggest climate polluter.
Methane, methane!
Are these even energy-efficient lights?
We're on a highway to climate hell
with our foot on the accelerator.
- I can fix the bike. - This isn't about the bike!
Enough! Rosa asked you to leave.
So right now you're trespassing on her property.
I'm gonna count to three.
One.
- Two. - Oh!
(SCOFFS AND MUTTERS)
You people need to study some attribution science.
Study it.
What the hell was that? Hah!
Ahh!
(MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC)
- Where's Brian? - (REPLIES INDISTINCTLY)
(WHIRRING)
(ALEJANDRO SPEAKS SPANISH)
BERNARDITA:
ROSA:
SEBASTIAN: Who knew?
- ROSA: Knew what? - About Hector's big balls.
Yeah, well, I did. Everyone did.
Stop talking about Hector's balls.
She's crazy, you know.
Aren't solar panels actually cheaper?
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting solar panels installed. (GRUNTS)
Aren't you getting an electric car?
ROSA: Hey, Sebastian!
Don't you ever tell her that.
I'm on a waitlist.
Just turn the power back on.
(CLICK!)
(PEOPLE CHEER INSIDE)
(AIRPLANE DRONES)
ARIEL: Oh, wow! Hey!
SANTI: Hey!
You guys, this is, um, too much.
Oh! Hi, Sanelivi. You're here too.
Talia.
Oh, uh... Hm.
We asked Vince to do none of this.
He's stuck at work. He'll be here soon.
SANTI: Oh, dammit.
Would... would that be easier if you didn't have the suit on?
Uh, yeah, probably. I can't get off, though.
Wait till you see the cake.
You guys made a cake?
Absolutely not.
Where's my beautiful grandson?
He's with Talia.
- Oh... - Other Talia.
They will be here soon.
I think he'll get a big surprise.
(LAUGHS STIFFLY) Yeah.
Malik doesn't really love surprises.
- (WAILS) I don't want to! - GUESTS: Oh, no!
- Look. You want this lolly? - (MALIK CRIES) No!
TALIA: Do you want some fairy bread?
- Go away! - TALIA: Oh, look.
He's gone inside. I might go try and calm him down.
VINCE: Yeah, that's a good idea.
- (SANTI ROARS) - Arggh!
How's your hair, by the way?
Fine.
You tell me.
Is there something wrong with my hair?
No, you look fine. I gotta go check on my son.
So I...I'll be back.
OK.
- (CHIMES TINKLE) - (SERENE MUSIC PLAYS)
WOMAN: My name is Martina
and the thing that I'll miss most
is the sound of frogs in the evening near where I live.
As the day cools and the sky changes colours,
that sound is the thing I'm gonna miss the most.
Mm, thank you, Martina.
Oh, come in, come in. Take a seat.
Welcome.
We're... we're just doing introductions.
So everyone says their name and if they're comfortable,
something that they'll miss from the natural world.
It's a way of recognising
ecological grief in real time.
Oh, OK. Sorry I'm late.
I just came from a... Well, a protest. Yeah.
Um...
Uh...
Things I'll miss? Um...
Frogs. Yeah, I'll miss those too.
Um, gosh, it's hard not to say everything.
WOMAN: Oh, just whatever pops into your head.
Um, well, I already miss things.
Uh, I miss my old life.
Uh, I had cancer,
which I never talk about.
(CHUCKLES) I can't believe I just opened with that.
I...I miss the me I was before that,
before I had to worry about tests and it coming back.
I do miss Edith...
...a lot, now that I say it out loud.
I miss feeling like...
(STAMMERS) I miss it when my kids needed me,
when I felt like I could actually help them.
I miss feeling excited about the day when I woke up.
And I miss feeling...
...held when I fell asleep at night.
I miss feeling like I'm...
You know, that I was in control of things.
I miss not feeling like I'm barely holding on
and, like, everything could fall apart
into a thousand pieces at any one time into chaos.
Oh, I miss feeling light.
(PERSON CLEARS THROAT)
That's probably it. Yeah.
OK. Uh, next person.
And if... if we could focus on something
specifically related to climate distress
rather than general distress,
yeah, that would be great.
- Like, is that what you mind? - No, of course I don't mind.
But, like, if I didn't organise this bushwalk,
I'd never see him.
You know, when he's not at work, he's with Malik
or he's helping the sister wives
do something they don't want to do.
And when I do see him, he's...
Humping my boyfriend?
SANTI: This isn't fair, bro! You weigh, like, a hundred...
How do I introduce that to my dad?
Are you worried because he's not a Muslim...
(MEN LAUGH)
...or because he's a dinosaur?
- Bit of both. - I wouldn't worry about it.
Everyone loves Vince. He's impossible to not love.
- (MEN CONTINUE LAUGHING) - ARIEL: Thanks, everyone!
We just wanted to say a quick thing.
- Uh, do you want to go first? - Mm, no.
(ARIEL SPEAKS TEARFULLY) Two years ago today...
- And she's crying! - (SOFT LAUGHTER)
...two years ago today I was in hospital
going through what I know now was a traumatic birth.
Nothing in my birth really went according to my birth plan.
And even though having this beautiful...
...giant baby has changed me,
I mean, physically changed me,
at the end of the day, we have this little person
who maybe a hundred years ago wouldn't be here...
...hiding under the table or wherever he is.
So... to Vince...
GUESTS: To Vince.
ARIEL: ..and to all the midwives, thank you.
- (GUESTS CLAP) - MAN: Cheers.
You did it!
Oh! Now, where is that little miracle?
(BOTH LAUGH)
JACINDA: He said that he's not coming out,
but he says you can sing.
Fantastic! I'll get the cake.
Hey, Reems?
Hey, I wanted to ask you something.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
...we want another one.
I mean, Ariel doesn't, obviously, but I do.
A sibling for Malik.
- Oh! - (GIGGLES)
Cool.
Look, I know this isn't what you signed up for,
dating me, Ariel, Malik, everyone, ugh!
We get that, so I just wanted to run it by you first.
Before what?
Before we ask Vince.
I mean, he'll say yes, obviously.
You know what he's like.
But it'll mean more baby stuff.
Not heaps!
But more than now, hm?
Yeah, yeah, I guess twice as much as now.
Wow.
- OK. - (CHUCKLES) Ahh!
So when are you planning on telling him?
- We're thinking we could... - ARIEL: Come on!
- (GUESTS SING 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY') - Be right back.
TALIA: Yay!
- ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪ - (CAMERA CLICKS)
(SINGING ECHOES) ♪ Happy birthday, dear Malik
♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
(MUTED CHEERING)
(SOFT, DREAMY MUSIC)
If you haven't told her how you feel, she can't know.
- You have to tell her. - She's in Canada!
Well, then you have to fly to Canada.
Oh, the... the carbon!
Oh, then you have to sail to Canada.
Maybe I should just let her go.
Like Arctic permafrost or the Tasmanian tiger.
She's not extinct. You can get her back.
No, I think it's too late.
WOMAN: No. You can do this.
God, it feels good to feel hopeful about something.
There's actually quite a lot to still feel hopeful about.
Um, do you think I'm crazy for thinking this would work?
What do you think?
Uh, right now I'm thinking I really need to lock up
because I still get charged for the full hour if I go over.
So if you could all make your way...
ANGIE: Oh, God. Sure. Sorry.
I should let her go, shouldn't I?
- I've got to get to Pilates. - Oh, sorry.
And thank you for what you said about there still being hope.
You want my advice?
Yes.
It's over. Grieve.
You mean the planet, right?
(CHEERFUL CONTEMPORARY MUSIC PLAYS)
- Hi, Dad. - Oh, beautiful girl.
(LAUGHS)
- Ah! - I can't believe you're here.
And you didn't tell me you were coming.
Well, the surprise was worth it, hm? I love this expression.
Come on. Come. Sit down.
You know I hate not knowing what's going on.
So? Tell me, everything.
Well, I'm good.
Uni's good. The business is good.
- The end. - And?
And that's it. Should we order?
(CHUCKLES) There's nothing else going on?
Nothing you want to tell me?
Um, can I have an oat latte, please?
OK.
You know, I haven't seen my daughter for 18 months
and she's keeping secrets from me.
He'll have a long black. Thanks.
Would you tell your father if you had a boyfriend?
Uh... Yeah.
I mean, I'd have to tell my girlfriend first.
(CHUCKLES)
What's, um... what's your most expensive meal?
- Um, the... - We'll have one of those.
- OK. - Thank you.
Your mother's told me nothing. I don't even know his name.
OK.
His name is Vince.
So which mosque does this Vince go to?
Um...
Different ones.
- Yeah. - When can I meet him?
Oh, you probably won't get the chance.
He's... he's really busy
with work the next couple of days, so...
I can wait a few days.
I want to meet this mysterious Vince.
OK, great.
Great.
You were so good with Malik today.
He's my baby.
That's a pretty big baby.
Maybe he's more like a little brother.
Not a real one, though. A pretend one.
I only have pretend ones.
Yeah.
Alright. Close your eyes.
Why was Reema sad?
Did she seem sad to you?
Maybe she didn't get a lolly bag.
- Can I... - No!
Alright. Close your eyes.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
REEMA: There he is.
How was the rest of the party?
Yeah, it was good.
Long. The clean-up took for ages, so...
Make room!
(VINCE MURMURS)
I missed you today.
Where?
At the party.
What are you on about?
I hardly saw you.
So why didn't you come up to me, then?
Huh?
What?
I'm just saying, you know,
it's not my job to come to you, is it?
It's not my job to fix everything.
I know. I never said it was.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm just very tired from the party.
I'm gonna get some sleep. (GRUNTS)
Oh, and, um,
we're gonna have to reschedule that bushwalk.
I gotta work.
And it's meant to rain as well.
- Oh. - Mm.
OK.
Vince?
Mm?
I know you're really busy at the moment, but...
...I can help you.
Like we help each other.
That's the whole point.
Isn't it?
(SIGHS)
(MUTTERS)
What's wrong? What is it?
Did you have a fight with Vince?
No.
It's way worse.
(WEEPS) I have nits!
- Oh, babe. - It's not funny!
- You've come to the right place. - No! Stop!
- I don't wanna infect you. - No, no, no.
I use nit shampoo as my regular shampoo.
(REEMA WEEPS)
Wait. Isn't that really toxic?
Yeah! (CHUCKLES)
Oh.
(CONTINUES WEEPING)
- Do it again, do it again! - HECTOR: No! No!
(CHANTS) Do it again, do it again!
- (SCOFFS) Fine! - (ROSA LAUGHS)
(DRAMATICALLY) "And where are your solar panels?!"
- (LAUGHS) -"And... and... and what is this?"
(CACKLES)
"Plastic?!
"And this?
"Meat in a freezer?
-"Monster!" - Oh, oh!
Do the part about the car, about the car!
(CACKLES)
"Why is your car so big?
"You should be like me and ride a tricycle!"
(LAUGHS) Oh, enough! Stop.
Oh, please stop, stop.
"I'm not Hector. I'm Angie."
No, you're Hector, my Hector.
(ROSA CHUCKLES)
BOTH: Mmm...
(CHUCKLES) Do it again.
- No, no, por favor! No! - Do it again! Do it again!
- Fine! - (LAUGHS)
(GENTLE, HOPEFUL MUSIC)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)