1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,378 FELICIA: Oh, my God, we've been to 1,500 places, 2 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:04,880 and my feet are frickin' killing me. 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,882 For the love of Larry Bird, please tell me 4 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,175 you don't hate this one, too. 5 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,302 It is so cute. 6 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,970 Decent closet space. 7 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,764 Water pressure's wild. You basically have 8 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,557 a mini Niagara Falls in there. 9 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,727 -I think I love it. -All right, here we go! 10 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,438 You're an adult now, grown-ass lady. 11 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,482 Wow. I can't believe this is gonna be mine. 12 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,108 I'm really gonna live here. 13 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,652 Like, I'm gonna wake up here in the morning, 14 00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,071 you know, and-and make a little cup of coffee, 15 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:32,741 and... and just sit here and enjoy the view. 16 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,580 But also, I actually really like it when the blinds are down. 17 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,499 I feel like it just has a nice, mysterious vibe. 18 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,292 -SAMANTHA: Yeah. -BRIT: Yeah. 19 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,380 Yeah. 20 00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:52,386 This ice cream's your higher power? 21 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,971 -Why not? -Okay. 22 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,472 I love it. I love it. My-my Bat Mitzvah theme 23 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,640 was Ben & Jerry's flavors. 24 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,267 Weird impulse to want to lick your God. 25 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,560 Also, can I just be honest? 26 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,437 I feel like you can do better than this flavor. 27 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,356 Like, what even is it? 28 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,233 It's maple pecan bacon. It was my dad's favorite. 29 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,818 Samantha. 30 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,403 No. Okay, it's not a dead dad, thing, okay? 31 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,280 It's just it's dead dad adjacent. 32 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,491 Your dad was very, very fallible. 33 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,285 He clearly had terrible taste in ice cream. 34 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,911 -(scoffs) -He left you and your mom. 35 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,913 Don't make me go through the whole speech again, please. 36 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,790 -We're both better than that. -Okay, I won't. I won't. 37 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:25,085 But, you know, if I let go of him, what's left? 38 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,255 Well, that's exactly the point. 39 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,507 Babe, space. 40 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,469 You will have the space 41 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,430 to really let something else in. 42 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,100 Yeah, it just... It better not be God. 43 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,893 She's really not for me. 44 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,564 Don't put pressure on yourself to figure it all out. 45 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,608 Just leave it open 46 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,986 and allow it to come in. 47 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,363 Higher powers are like pornography. 48 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,657 You'll know it when you see it. 49 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,285 -What if it is pornography? -Oh, my God. 50 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,954 -You're insane. No, it's not. It's not. -(laughing) 51 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,664 I want mint chocolate chip. Come on. 52 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,126 So when am I gonna see this apartment of yours? 53 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,253 Not for a while. 54 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,671 All right? 'Cause I know you're gonna ask 55 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,506 about murders and mold, 56 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,675 and the landlord'll get super annoyed and kick me out 57 00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,302 before I even get one night's sleep there. 58 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,429 -Samantha. -Mom. 59 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:21,183 I'm gonna respect the boundaries you are setting right now. 60 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,479 Wow. Thank you. 61 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,482 If you ever, for any reason, 62 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,151 need to come back, you always have a home here. 63 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,782 Thank you, Mom. 64 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,580 Okay, the movers will be by later for the rest of this. 65 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,707 -Okay. -And I love you. 66 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,167 Love you, too. 67 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,169 -Bye. -Bye. 68 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,171 (Carol sniffles) 69 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,719 ♪ ♪ 70 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,971 So, when does this runner's high kick in? 71 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,307 Oh, I don't... I don't run. It's terrible for the knees. 72 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,309 -Why the hell am I doing it? -Because you refused 73 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,520 -to do squats. -Oh, yeah. 74 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,730 -Uh, how-how is she? -She's good. 75 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:12,484 She's Carol. Actually, she's kind of like Carol 2.0. 76 00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,944 Kind of seems like she's actually trying 77 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,571 to be better, at least a little. (panting) 78 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,366 -Oh. -(sighs) 79 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,575 Maybe I should call her. Should I call her? 80 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,411 No, Bob, you shouldn't call her. 81 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,663 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -It's got to be on her to call you. 82 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,706 -You know what I mean? Yeah. -Yeah, yeah. 83 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,208 Maybe just a text? Like an article she might like, 84 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,501 -or a recipe. -No. 85 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,128 -No. -No contact. 86 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,796 I don't want to do that, either. 87 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,841 -All right, well, um, how do you feel? -The same. 88 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,342 -Yeah? Okay. -Yeah. 89 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,802 But, hey, maybe next time, we go see a movie. 90 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,303 You know? Maybe we're movie friends. 91 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,013 I don't ever want to do this again. 92 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,474 Okay, well, uh, as long as we can keep hanging out, 93 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,393 that'd be great, you know? 94 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:50,981 I just really enjoy having a stepdaughter figure in my life. 95 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,650 -A stepdaughter figure? -Yeah. (laughs) 96 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,319 Come here, Bob. 97 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,155 -Thank you. -I'm sorry I'm so sweaty. 98 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:01,366 No, actually, you're not. You did four minutes and 18 seconds. 99 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:05,203 But you know what I always say-- "No pain, some gain." 100 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,873 -Yeah. -Huh. 101 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,041 ALL: The courage to change the things we can 102 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,711 and the wisdom to know the difference. 103 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,629 MINDY: Keep coming back. 104 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,214 It works if you work it. 105 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,507 I know. 106 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:28,643 So, I know we don't get speeches for 60 days, 107 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,271 but just want to say, I'm here to stay. 108 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,482 -Not getting rid of me. -Mm. 109 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,401 I have nine years, not that we're comparing. 110 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,361 Feels like we're comparing. 111 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,072 Sometimes a healthy competition is... it's a good thing. 112 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,574 JAMES: Uh, I don't know about that. 113 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,160 -Hi. -Hey. Welcome back. 114 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,204 -Thanks. -It's nice to see you here. 115 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,955 It's really nice to be here. 116 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,707 JAMES: I don't know what it is, but 117 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,459 I've never felt more connected to people. 118 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,127 Today felt different. 119 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,421 Yeah, it felt different. It definitely did, yeah. 120 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,841 It-it didn't, actually. I really wanted... 121 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,260 I wanted to feel something, but I just felt sweaty palms. 122 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,596 That's 'cause you stand next to Mark in the circle. 123 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,681 You ate all the cookies, but didn't leave any money 124 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,767 in the basket? Come on. 125 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,102 What's the point of... 126 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,230 Uh, hi. 127 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,900 Hi. I am, uh, really sorry 128 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,860 about everything that happened after Dean's funeral. 129 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,821 Yeah, you came at me pretty hard. 130 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,323 I did, didn't I? Yeah. 131 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:27,160 I'm sorry. That day kind of spun me out, and, uh... 132 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,038 Turns out I have really shitty coping mechanisms, so... 133 00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,458 Yeah, I have the same ones, but I appreciate the apology. 134 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,043 -Cool. -Cool. 135 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:38,672 Can we, um, start over? 136 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,383 Hi. I'm James. 137 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,385 Sam. Nice to meet you. 138 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,303 -Hmm. -Congrats on 60 days. 139 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,763 -Thank you. -Mm. 140 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,431 Yeah. Friends can hug, right? 141 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,975 I think I've seen friends hug before. 142 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,518 Yeah, of course, of course. 143 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,104 Oh, look at you two. 144 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,691 Back on your heteronormative bullshit. 145 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,577 (doorbell rings) 146 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,291 Hi. 147 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,502 -Hey. Yo. -Uh, Happy Divorce Day. 148 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,714 Happy Divorce Day. 149 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,048 (chuckles softly) 150 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,967 -So, uh... -Hey, uh, 151 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,927 before we sign the papers, you want a little toursky? 152 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,262 See the house you were supposed to live in? 153 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,097 I kid. 154 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,223 But seriously, though, I mean, the bathroom 155 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,474 -has a bidet. -I don't doubt it. 156 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,602 I mean, Joel, this house is gorgeous. 157 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,937 -Thank you. -The porch is so cute. 158 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,772 -Yeah. -Look at these plants 159 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,566 -Yeah. -and bespoke detail. 160 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,110 -Right? Came out good, I think. -Yeah. 161 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,111 Hey, do you ever think about painting the door? 162 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,779 Yeah, you would have chosen orange. 163 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,574 -Then we'd be in hot water with the HOA. -See? 164 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,367 Designing this house together totally would have done us in. 165 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,077 -(laughs) -Yeah. 166 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,291 So, should we sign the papers? 167 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:59,419 Sure. Yeah. After you. 168 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,924 And sign here, too, right? 169 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,887 Joel? You okay? 170 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,555 Was it me? 171 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,726 Is it my fault that we didn't work out? 172 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,896 (sighs) 173 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,440 Wasn't you. 174 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,693 I guess it all comes down to... I wasn't ready yet. 175 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,695 And I needed to live more and grow up, 176 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,823 and I had no business being married yet. 177 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,993 Not to you, not to anyone. 178 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,913 You know how we had that joke that if I had a chance 179 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,956 with Michael B. Jordan, all bets would be off? 180 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,625 That was more your joke than our joke, but, yeah. 181 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,460 Uh, the point is... 182 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,088 ...I wouldn't have married him either. 183 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,091 I really hated hurting you. 184 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,510 And I've been punishing myself for it. 185 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,762 But it just... it wasn't time. 186 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,058 -I shouldn't have said yes. -No, this is on me, too. 187 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,893 I knew something wasn't right. 188 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,436 All the warning signs were there. 189 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,938 I just didn't check in. 190 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,481 You know, I just... 191 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,483 I ran away with things, 192 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,652 and I'm sorry. 193 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,654 Thank you. 194 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,491 (sighs) Well, 195 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,077 at least you got a really nice house out of it. 196 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,247 Yeah. I mean, I really ran away with a fantasy, though. 197 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,832 -Like, I put marble everywhere. -Oh. 198 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,792 You know that bidet that you liked? 199 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,544 I put one in every bathroom. 200 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,003 Oh, well, no one is mad at a bidet. 201 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,005 I'm a little mad at these bidets. 202 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,882 They were several thousand dollars, from Japan. 203 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,467 They say "hi" to you. 204 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,137 (laughs) Well, that's it. 205 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,389 We are officially divorced. 206 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,765 -Should we celebrate? -Um... 207 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,142 -We should celebrate. -Okay. 208 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,560 I can cook us dinner. 209 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,894 I actually have two ovens 'cause I thought 210 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,396 we were gonna do a ton of hosting, 211 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,106 but we never even had a housewarming party. 212 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,276 Well, let's have a divorce party. 213 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,821 Yes, we could just have a proper goodbye to all of this. 214 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,741 Sure. I accidentally just bought a case of probiotic soda 215 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,617 from Costco, and I've been meaning to unload it, 216 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,077 so that actually works really well. 217 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,746 Oh, and I've got, like, 40 frozen pot pies 218 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,080 -in the freezer. -Oh, I'm gonna stop you there. 219 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,082 -We're gonna order food. Yeah. -Order food, yeah. 220 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,000 That's what I was thinking, too. Like, we can do that. 221 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,001 FELICIA: Let me just check 222 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,003 on that real quick, okay? 223 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,380 Hey. 224 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,924 -Hey, beautiful. -Hi. 225 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,926 -I brought you some hot chocolate. -Huh? 226 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,303 -Mm-hmm. -You never come in during the middle of the day. 227 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,180 What's going on? 228 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,140 Uh, can't a guy just bring something sweet to his sweetie? 229 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,267 Thank you so much. 230 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,977 -That was very sweet of you. -(laughs) 231 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,021 But, uh, you know, I got to get to Mrs. Harris. 232 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,564 She falls asleep in the chair if I don't get to her immediately. 233 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,274 -So... -Oh. 234 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,942 But I'll see you at Brit and Joel's tonight, right? 235 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,028 Yeah, for sure. There's, um... 236 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,822 There's actually something I want to talk to you about. 237 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,325 Oh. Mmm. 238 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,410 -See you tonight? -Yeah. 239 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,371 -Bye, Petey. -Bye. 240 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,832 He is such a little honeybutt, right? 241 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,751 -Let me see your hands. -What? 242 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,253 Let me see your hands. 243 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,881 Ay, mami, you need to go get a manicure, stat. 244 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,841 -I just got these done. You don't like the plaid? -No. 245 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,219 That man is proposing to you tonight. 246 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,178 -No. -Sí. 247 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,346 What? 248 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,555 -Mm-hmm. -No. 249 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,432 -Mm-hmm. -You don't know 250 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,767 what you're talking about, Tina. That's crazy. 251 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,936 Bitch, I've been engaged four times. 252 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,312 -You have? -And divorced twice. 253 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,731 -Oh. -I'd do red. 254 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,566 It really makes diamonds pop. 255 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,908 Hey. 256 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,868 -Alex? -(muffled music through headphones) 257 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,203 Alex? 258 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,122 -Oh, hey. -Hey. Uh, 259 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,040 where is everybody? I thought there was a staff meeting. 260 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,042 No, I cancelled that. 261 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,255 Um, listen, are you sure you're okay? 262 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,298 'Cause you've never canceled a meeting before. 263 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,009 Maybe I'm a just boss that's excited for the weekend. 264 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,720 -Alex, come on. -All right. 265 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,598 No. You know what? I needed a break. 266 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,892 I come in here every day and I have to see you. 267 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,186 And all I want to do is be in a relationship with you, 268 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,188 but I know that's a dead end. 269 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,900 So, this just all sucks, and I don't know what to do. 270 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,444 I-I get it. I do. 271 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,030 I-I have to avoid eye contact with you 272 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,408 every time you walk by my desk to go to the bathroom. 273 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,952 -Have you been drinking a lot of coffee, by the way? -No. 274 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,246 I'm actually doing this whole water thing now. It... 275 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,747 -Uh, that's good. -Yeah. 276 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,166 Even strangers on the street tell me 277 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,709 I look severely dehydrated, so... 278 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,669 Uh, I-I don't mean to be weird, 279 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,380 but how are we gonna get past this 280 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,382 and continue to work together? 281 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,634 Yeah, I just... 282 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,304 I really love this job, you know? 283 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,763 I get paid to write. 284 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,349 So... 285 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,310 if someone has to leave, it's... 286 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,478 it's not gonna be me. 287 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,151 FELICIA: He can't fire you. 288 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,653 I mean, I don't think so, but you never know. 289 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,614 I really don't want to go back to the grocery store. 290 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,823 Well, I'm just putting it out there. 291 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,909 I did appreciate the discount. 292 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,452 -So, what are you gonna do? -I don't know. 293 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,537 Send out résumés, pray to a god I don't believe in? 294 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,414 Wow. This is, like, a real house. 295 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,957 It's really nice. 296 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,375 I guess he is good at building stuff. 297 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,793 -Huh. -His art is terrible, though. 298 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,378 -Mm. -Hey, uh, thanks for driving me. 299 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,005 Oh, you're welcome. I just... 300 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,924 I really can't be alone with Pete right now. 301 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,468 -But you love Pete. -I do love Pete. 302 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,553 But I also love not being married to Pete. 303 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,680 I'm a free spirit. Like, that time 304 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,807 I almost got that bird tattooed on my lower back, 305 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,309 but then I backed out because I can't commit. 306 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,061 Yeah, I remember. That was a really long night. 307 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,771 There's just so much stuff I want to do, know you? 308 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,439 Like, I really want to go to New Zealand 309 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,650 and, like, be on Wheel of Fortune. 310 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,819 I just don't want to be stuck forever. 311 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,656 ♪ Spend my whole check at Whole Foods ♪ 312 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,199 ♪ Yeah, she still texting old dudes ♪ 313 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:24,077 ♪ I need gas money like... ♪ 314 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:24,994 I basically built all this, which was nice, 315 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,704 'cause I was alone so much, 316 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,623 so hearing the drill was kind of nice 317 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,000 to get away from that kind of crippling silence, you know? 318 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,502 -Yes. -And then, oh, also, um, 319 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,587 if you look at this end table, 320 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,756 you'll notice there are no screws or nails 321 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,758 or glue anywhere, so... 322 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,969 Huh. That's interesting. 323 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,720 I had no idea that was a thing. 324 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,431 Oh, my God. This is in the kanawa tsugi style? 325 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,101 You know kanawa tsugi? 326 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,144 Do I know about traditional Japanese wood-joinery? 327 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,313 Of course I do. 328 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,524 I took a couple woodworking classes in college. 329 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,984 -I can't believe you know about kanawa tsugi. -Yeah. 330 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,360 It's like our friendship was meant to be, dude. 331 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,320 -It's crazy. It's unbelievable. -(laughing) 332 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,738 Are those real butter crackers? 333 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,740 Yeah. 334 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:06,411 I don't eat crackers, but I need to not be here. 335 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,663 Also, I mean, how about this? It's, like, 336 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,956 we could be in our own buddy cop movie or something. 337 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,708 Right? Right? Right? 338 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,001 -All right, what's your favorite color? -Uh... okay. 339 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,294 -On the count of three? -Sure. 340 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,837 One, two, three. 341 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,380 BOTH: Blue, but sometimes green! 342 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,965 -Dude, what? That's unbelievable. -Oh, my God. 343 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,758 JAMES: I was... I was gonna wear a green shirt today. 344 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,928 (indistinct chatter) 345 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,847 (sighs) 346 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,395 -Hey, Joel. -Oh, no. 347 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,480 -Don't worry. I'm not gonna jump you. -Okay. 348 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,107 I mean, not with this many witness around. 349 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,526 -Right. Yes. -I'm kidding. 350 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,320 -You're joking. Good. -I'm really sorry about that. 351 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,197 I was in a bad place, if that wasn't obvious. 352 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,701 -Yeah. No, I kind of picked up on that. -Right. 353 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,912 Listen, I don't know why you'd want to be my friend 354 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,165 -after that, but if you did, we could... -No. Sam, stop. 355 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,083 It's not like it's the first insane thing 356 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,545 I've ever seen you do, so... 357 00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,131 -Let's just... -Want to eat something? 358 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,341 -I would love to do that. You want cookies? -Yeah. Yeah. 359 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,887 -Oh. -Oh, finally. (laughing) 360 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,765 -(sighs) -I've been hoping to get a moment alone with you. 361 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:12,935 -Oh, come here. -Wait. No, no, no. No. 362 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,771 This cannot be happening in front of a bidet. 363 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,898 What? 364 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,984 -Are you proposing? -(laughs) No. 365 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,360 (laughing loudly) 366 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,112 Are you? 367 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,655 -What? No. -What? 368 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,532 What? Why have you been acting so weird? 369 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,659 (sighs) Okay. 370 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,454 I have you some news I want to share with you. 371 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,874 Okay. 372 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:39,045 I, um... I got an offer from a private practice in Michigan. 373 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,380 -Wow. -What? 374 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,716 Okay, yeah. 375 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,761 Here I am thinking you were gonna ask me for forever, but... 376 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,055 you're breaking up with me. 377 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,517 Oh, no, no. No, I don't want to break up with you. 378 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,602 No. I-I know it's a lot, 379 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,772 and I know we got to think about Zacky, 380 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:03,194 but I found a place near a good school, big yard. 381 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:06,489 So, do you want to say "screw it"? 382 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:09,742 Try it for a year, go on an adventure? 383 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,747 Uh, um, uh... 384 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,916 I-I just need... 385 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,168 -FEMALE VOICE: Hello. -(both exclaim) 386 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,129 (water squirting) 387 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,339 -Um, no, I got to get out of here. -Uh... 388 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,050 -(door opens) -(sighs) -Hello. 389 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,844 (indistinct chatter) 390 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,679 I really need some air, Sammy. 391 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,309 (scoffs, sighs) 392 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,271 -Shit. -What's wrong? 393 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,940 You guys, that son of a bitch is moving to Michigan. 394 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,859 -He is? -Yeah. He took a job there. 395 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,861 What, am I gonna go to the New England of the West? 396 00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,029 -They haven't even won one frickin' Super Bowl. -Um... 397 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,615 -I'm divorced. -Yeah. 398 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,867 I'm gonna have to click the box that says "divorced" 399 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,535 when I fill out forms. 400 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,995 If I play "Never Have I Ever," and they say, 401 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,330 "Hey, have you ever been divorced?," I'm gonna drink. 402 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,790 Okay, yeah, but you never have to play "Never Have I Ever" 403 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,208 -'cause we're too old for that. -Right. 404 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,043 But I feel so young. 405 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,129 -Okay. -I mean, my life is complete freedom. 406 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,923 I could do anything. Uh, I could hike the Appalachian Trail, 407 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,217 -go see the mountains. -Ooh, now that I could get into. 408 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,719 And everyone's always saying 409 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,512 they find God in the mountains, you know, 410 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,139 -so maybe that could be my higher power. -BRIT: Wait a minute. 411 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,141 What's happening here? This is my freedom fantasy. 412 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,059 No, actually, this is my "boyfriend's moving" freak-out. 413 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,644 -Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. -Yeah. 414 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,731 -I think I'm tired. -You guys want to call it? 415 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:26,194 ♪ It's a mark ♪ 416 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:29,238 ♪ I've taken... ♪ 417 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:36,871 ♪ And I will carry it with me for a long, long... ♪ 418 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,749 All right, sleep well, Sammy. 419 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,751 -Love you. -Love you. 420 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,003 Our problems belong to Tomorrow Us. 421 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,671 (laughing): Yeah. 422 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,298 Hey, happy new place. 423 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,716 -Thank you. I love you both. -Love you. 424 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,676 -Love you. -Bye. 425 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,204 (sighs) 426 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,416 Oh, come on. 427 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,135 (laughing) 428 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,458 ♪ Ain't all right ♪ 429 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,211 ♪ The hardness of my head ♪ 430 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,844 ♪ Now close your eyes and spin around ♪ 431 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,764 ♪ Say, hard times you could find, it ♪ 432 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,891 ♪ Ain't the way that you want ♪ 433 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,940 ♪ But it's still all right ♪ 434 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,822 ♪ They say you learn a lot out there ♪ 435 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,200 ♪ How to scorch and burn ♪ 436 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,454 ♪ Only have to bury your friends ♪ 437 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,165 ♪ Then you'll find it gets worse ♪ 438 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,168 ♪ Standing out on a ledge ♪ 439 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,379 ♪ With no way to get down ♪ 440 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,883 ♪ You start praying for wings to grow ♪ 441 00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,765 ♪ Oh, baby, just let go ♪ 442 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:37,134 ♪ Hey, tonight, if you think about it ♪ 443 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,807 ♪ Remembering all the times ♪ 444 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,142 ♪ That you pointed out ♪ 445 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,437 ♪ Say, the glass is clear, but all this fear ♪ 446 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,148 ♪ Starts a-leaving a mark ♪ 447 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,949 ♪ Your idle hands are all that stands ♪ 448 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,076 ♪ From your time in the dark ♪ 449 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,500 ♪ But it's still all right. ♪ 450 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,802 -(church bells chime) -Hi. 451 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,054 Oh, my God. 452 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,764 Please tell me you didn't relapse. 453 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,349 No, I didn't. Why would you ask me that? 454 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,393 Babe, you slept on a roof. 455 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,769 I actually didn't sleep at all. 456 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,021 I came up here, and I... 457 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:34,108 I don't know. Everything kind of fell away. 458 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,235 And I felt really small 459 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,612 and kind of insignificant. 460 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,198 -But in cool way, you know? -Mm-hmm. Yeah. 461 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,075 And then my pen got hot and I started writing, 462 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,577 and I couldn't stop. 463 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,288 You found it. 464 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,874 I'm really proud of you. 465 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,751 Thank you. 466 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,004 What the hell is that bag? 467 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,339 -Oh! Your housewarming presents. -(laughs) 468 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,967 Okay, so, you know, addiction and anxiety. 469 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,510 -You got IBS. -I have IBS. 470 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,387 Yeah, same. 471 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:06,140 I don't think you're ready to keep anything alive yet. 472 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,600 -That is fake. -Okay. 473 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,769 You don't have to water it. 474 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,771 In case you wanted to go red. 475 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,814 Really? 476 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,275 This is... Oh. 477 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,736 This is for your... upper lip hair. 478 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,279 It's not really housewarming. 479 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,573 I just didn't know how to tell you. 480 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,700 And... earplugs 481 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,328 for the guy upstairs blasting Tom Petty. 482 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,498 -What guy? -I don't know. There's always a guy. 483 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,333 Well, thank you. 484 00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,501 You're welcome. 485 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,295 I want to stay up here. 486 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,215 -Maybe I would look good with red hair. -Let's do it! 487 00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:39,924 -SAMANTHA: Really? -Yeah. I'll do my eyebrows.