1 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,212 So, this is where the magic happens. 2 00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,297 By which I mean sudoku. 3 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:06,340 (both laugh) 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,258 Oh, wow. 5 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,302 -That's a lot of love seats. -Yeah. 6 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,138 I think you can never have too many love seats, so... 7 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,098 -I hope not. -(chuckles) 8 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,391 I've just been getting the house together, 9 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,269 buying furniture, uh, making art. 10 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,355 Actually, I've been getting into this movement 11 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,689 called "freebuilding." 12 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,733 It's, uh, making sculptures out of leftover 13 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,985 construction material. 14 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:29,738 -So I just kind of let my hands tell me where to hammer. -Mm. 15 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,448 So you just let your hands go 16 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,242 wherever the hell you want, don't you? 17 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,410 Yep. And so, how about-- this is a pretty cool color, 18 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,370 don't you think? 19 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,538 Mm. 20 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,747 Someone left a can of Benjamin Moore 21 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:39,790 at my site in Woburn. 22 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,792 They did? That's so silly of them. 23 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,502 Super high quality. 24 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,421 Very popular shade. October Mist, it's called. 25 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,048 -Moody. -Yeah. 26 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,633 It's a green that makes everything look better. 27 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,134 Like your eyes. 28 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,011 -Oh, thank you. -(chuckles) 29 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:56,265 And this piece, wow. 30 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,600 You know, it's, like, very masculine, 31 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,102 but then... (exhales sharply) 32 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,436 like, all of a sudden very feminine. 33 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,896 It's sensual, this... 34 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,690 -It's my mom. -Oh. 35 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,776 (mutters) So, I sculpted it based on the memory 36 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,570 of her taking care of my grandma 37 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,988 when she was in hospice. 38 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,198 Yeah, I could see that. 39 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,033 It's really good. 40 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,746 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,335 Sam, are you, are you okay? Are you drunk right now? 42 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,503 I'm not drunk. 43 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,338 And you are not married anymore. 44 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,174 ♪ Two eyes, two ears, they for somethin'... ♪ 45 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,136 Did you Uber here from your mom's? 46 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,471 -That must have been so expensive. -I live with Brit now. 47 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,933 Wait, so you're, you're-you're going back to Brit's after this? 48 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,101 Joel, it's okay. 49 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,853 Is it okay, though? 50 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,147 Are we gonna have sex or not? 51 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,066 Maybe we should-- Maybe we finish the tour first? 52 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,157 I want to go home now. 53 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,742 I'm sorry. 54 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,911 Do you want to hold my hand 55 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,913 for a couple minutes or something? 56 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,832 We don't have to, like, intertwine fingers. 57 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,418 It'd be like a handshake hold, like, like mittens. 58 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:09,087 -No. -No? 59 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,924 Well, you know, my, my therapist Alan would say... 60 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,968 I actu-- I don't know what, I don't know what he would say 61 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,346 right now, but you have someone 62 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,097 you can talk to, right? 63 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,184 Sure. 64 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,820 (phone buzzes) 65 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,452 (phone chimes) 66 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,127 (door opens) 67 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,379 (door shuts) 68 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,465 Oh, hey, party person. You got in late. 69 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,258 (whispers): Oh. Sorry. 70 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,647 -Felicia. -Hmm? 71 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,982 -You got a customer. -Oh, crap. 72 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,984 I booked a flirty-vixen pole class. 73 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,611 Not today. 74 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,571 (sighs) All right. 75 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,032 Make the money, make the money, make the money. Okay. 76 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,159 ♪ So good that the others get nervous... ♪ 77 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,494 Mrs. Fink. 78 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,870 -Carol. -Yes. 79 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,122 I'll never get used to that. 80 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:28,417 -Yeah. -What are you doing here? 81 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:32,129 How does it work here? How does one begin? 82 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,798 Oh, you want me to cut your hair? 83 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,008 I just thought you always went to Phillipe Trailleur, 84 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,468 or whatever his name is, on Newbury Street. 85 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,720 Yeah, I'm thinking let's mix it up a little bit. 86 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,264 Maybe I'll date, maybe I won't. 87 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,599 Who knows? You know, do a little zhuzh. 88 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,642 Isn't that what you kids say? 89 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,770 Yeah, I would zhuzh you, for sure. 90 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,856 -But what happened to Bob? -No Bob. 91 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,023 -Oh. -So, look, 92 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,110 I brought you these, uh, photos. 93 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,405 -Okay, you thinking you want to do the pixie or the shag? -Combo. 94 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,533 -Okay, these are, like, wildly different haircuts. -No. 95 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:05,328 These are vibrant women who seem intelligent. 96 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:08,457 -Okay, so you want the bang? -God, no. 97 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,667 God-- Okay. But you like the... 98 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,710 Length. 99 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,587 And the layers framing your face? 100 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,881 -That is not me. -Okay, but, 101 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,591 -what is it you like? -How long it is. 102 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,885 Okay. 103 00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,012 Okay, so what you're telling me is that 104 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,014 you want the exact same haircut you have now, 105 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,017 -just a half-inch shorter? -This could work. 106 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,643 -We got it, all right? -Mm-hmm. 107 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,520 (indistinct chatter) 108 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,943 (sniffs) 109 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,455 There she is. 110 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,665 Hi. 111 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,626 -Hi. -Careful with the patient. 112 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,668 She's only here for two days. 113 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,961 The doctor barely cleared her to come. 114 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,171 It's fine. I'm fine. 115 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,672 The doctor said take it easy. 116 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,382 You need to avoid all stressors. 117 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,136 -You made it. -Of course. 118 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,640 -Okay. Okay. -Wow. Wow! 119 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,142 Yep, did the happy part. What's up? 120 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,811 Nothing. Cool party. 121 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,229 -Really? -Yeah. 122 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,980 It's great. I'm so excited to see you. 123 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,732 And the baby looks good in there. 124 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,567 -I'm glad. -Yeah. 125 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,152 Did you sleep in those clothes? 126 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,655 Huh? Of course not. These are my day-jamas. 127 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,864 You know? It's a... (clears throat) it's a thing. 128 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,491 -It's becoming a thing. -Sam. 129 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,493 -What? -I will turn this baby shower into a meeting 130 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,661 if you don't tell me what's going on. 131 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,788 There's nothing going on. 132 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,998 I just had a-a weird week, that's all. 133 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,917 Did you drink? 134 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,794 No, no, I didn't drink. 135 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,003 But you came close, right? 136 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,005 Well... 137 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,508 Okay, what's happening with finding a new sponsor? 138 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,926 Who have you called? 139 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,135 Um... 140 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,596 -Sam... -No, no, I-- 141 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,056 -I just, I've been really busy. -Uh-huh. 142 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,183 Seriously, like, they gave me a lot more responsibility 143 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,310 -at Hit Pause. I cover Revere now. -Mm. 144 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:56,231 And Needham and Dedham and Spreadham. 145 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,985 Okay, I'm going to introduce you to the best person I know. 146 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,319 My sponsor. 147 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,697 -Really? -Yeah. 148 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,157 Let's go meet Darby. 149 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,076 Okay, so she's technically your grand sponsor, 150 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,286 but do not call her that. 151 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,537 -She thinks that it ages her. -Okay. 152 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,497 Oh, interesting. 153 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,667 So this one actually smells like a diaper. 154 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,960 I wonder what they put in the chocolate. 155 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,670 Is that her? 156 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,422 Yeah. Is there a problem? 157 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,675 No. She seems... cool. 158 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,886 Is she eating poop out of a diaper? 159 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,178 Oh, yeah. She's totally insane. 160 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,058 ALL: Aw... 161 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,435 WOMAN: Look how cute. 162 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,061 MINDY: Right, this onesie's from Sandra. 163 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,439 And since it's my future godchild's special day, 164 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,815 we won't be discussing my thoughts 165 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,901 on woke capitalism. Thanks, Sandra. 166 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,235 SANDRA: Thank you. 167 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,987 (gasps) 168 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,991 -(laughs) -Darby, no! 169 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,535 Yes! Oh, my God, can you believe they still sell giant panties 170 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,245 -at the place by Dollywood? -No. 171 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,582 Okay, after our freshman year at Smith, 172 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,542 we went on this little road trip together to see the country. 173 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,294 It was more about doing every drug imaginable 174 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:02,172 in gross motels than seeing the country, but whatever. 175 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,632 So we're driving down 95, and I saw what I thought 176 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,091 was a floating dog. 177 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,677 And I'm like, "Uh-oh, she's on dorm room peyote." 178 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,095 And she gets out to pet the dog. 179 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,597 -OLIVIA: Yeah. -And it turns out 180 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,433 it's just the sign for this random underwear store. 181 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,435 Yeah, so there's this, like, really angry dude... 182 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,437 I know, but remember he had the Jodie Foster tattoo? 183 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,356 -So we-- I felt like we were safe. -Yeah. 184 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,442 He loved us so much, he gave us each a pair of panties 185 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,861 -with a rottweiler on it. -(laughter) 186 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,697 Oversized canine panties from Darby. 187 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:28,865 Not sure how the baby will wear them, 188 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:29,908 but that's funny. 189 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,493 It can be used as a swaddle. 190 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,328 -It's a swaddle. -Yes. 191 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,454 That's the last gift, everyone. 192 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,830 -Thank you all for coming. -(applause) 193 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:39,292 OLIVIA: Thank you, I have missed you all so much. 194 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,420 So, Olivia tells me we're going to be working together. 195 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:45,548 Oh, yeah, I-I guess we are. I'm Sam. 196 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,758 -Yeah. I'm Darby. -Right. 197 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,301 I was conceived in an Arby's 198 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,178 with the help of a man named Dan. 199 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,680 My mother loved wordplay. 200 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,265 Funnily enough, she's also an alcoholic. 201 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,684 I think my mom just picked my name 202 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,560 out of a book of Jewish girl names, 203 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,396 so it's not as interesting. 204 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,564 -True story. -Sorry, what? 205 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,857 Your story's not as interesting. 206 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,735 -You guys are connecting. Hi. 207 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,696 Did Darby tell you she has 20 years sober? 208 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,322 I have 20 years sober. 209 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,199 I loved rum and cocaine. 210 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,660 If you want, you can check out my dissolved septum. 211 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,661 You can put your fingertips through it. 212 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,162 I don't need to do that. 213 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,247 It's essentially like a razor-thin slice of ginger 214 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,915 at a fancy sushi restaurant. Try it. 215 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,959 -Isn't that crazy? -It's so gross. -It's very gross. 216 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,753 -OLIVIA: I love that. -Very cool. 217 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,463 Okay, so, a little bit more about me. 218 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,465 The program saved my life at age 20. 219 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,551 I've never even had a legal drink. 220 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:30,927 And then Darby saved my life. 221 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,929 She got me out of a bottle and into a meeting. 222 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,347 Great. 223 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,641 I love this. Keep going. 224 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,476 Sam, tell her your story. 225 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,519 What, right now? 226 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,688 -Just do it. -Okay. 227 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,940 -Well, I got sober about... -Where's your gift? 228 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,400 'Cause I didn't see Mindy write anything down. 229 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,110 I didn't-- I didn't bring one. 230 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,069 -Huh. -'Cause, you know, the baby's 231 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,654 not even born yet. And it's like, 232 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,656 how can you get a gift for someone you don't know? 233 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,408 Well, you just go to a store and you buy a gift. 234 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,535 And then if you feel weird about it, you can get a gift receipt 235 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,911 or you can switch the tags on the present table. 236 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,289 Sometimes I do that. Cute jammies. 237 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,666 -Yeah, thanks. -Do you want to go shopping? 238 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,544 -Now? Uh... -Yeah. 239 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,337 So, how do you like your sessions? 240 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,423 You like a little chitchat? 241 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,632 Do you want to talk about the new season 242 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,009 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta? 243 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,052 I don't know that show. 244 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,219 You know what, 245 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,554 it's too much to catch you up on. 246 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,014 But, uh, we can do this thing where you tell me 247 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,474 all your problems and I don't say anything, 248 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,017 and that's called "hair-apy." 249 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,810 I'll take quiet. Thank you. 250 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,895 Got it. 251 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,774 -How's Samantha? -Huh? 252 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,567 Samantha. How is she? 253 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,527 Is she still... at Brit's? 254 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,613 Is she with the boyfriend? 255 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,740 Got it. All right. That's why you came to see me. 256 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,910 Sam is... 257 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,578 First of all, she's safe. 258 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,121 She is still employed. 259 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,748 And she seems pretty happy. 260 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,083 She's happy? 261 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,751 In what ways is she happy? 262 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,461 Maybe you should call her for more information. 263 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,214 I don't think she will pick up. 264 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,968 I'm going to Friends and Family meetings. 265 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,470 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 266 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,554 Yeah. 267 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,098 I'm gonna fix whatever it is 268 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,849 everyone thinks is wrong with me. (chuckles softly) 269 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,601 I don't know 270 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,687 how to repair things with Samantha. 271 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,815 For example, 272 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,692 it appears it was a mistake to read her Fourth Step. 273 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,819 Did you know about that? 274 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,820 The diary thing? 275 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,321 Technically, no. 276 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:17,033 It is a list of your resentments that you write out 277 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,910 so you can let them go. 278 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,328 Sounds like you really know what's up. 279 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,871 I do now. 280 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,999 I don't... 281 00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:29,003 think she's going to let me make that right. 282 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,547 What do you think that'll take? 283 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,424 One of us has to apologize. 284 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,968 I... 285 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,511 guess that's me. 286 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,848 Do you agree with that though? 287 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,808 Because it really is a two-way street. 288 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,561 Listen, Carol, you screwed up. 289 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,979 It was your fault, you know? 290 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,730 And sometimes, as a mom, 291 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,066 you just got to learn to take the "L." 292 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,526 What's the "L"? 293 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,111 The loss. 294 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,237 (inhales sharply) 295 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,991 And that's enough haircut for today. 296 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,034 Oh. 297 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,953 I didn't do the... 298 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,788 -You got my cape on! -(door opens) 299 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:04,706 (door slams) 300 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,959 ♪ ♪ 301 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,381 And these are made from ostrich. 302 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,842 Oh. Do you know how the ostrich was raised? 303 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,135 I assume like any other ostrich. 304 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,052 That's not good enough. 305 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,679 That could mean anything. 306 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,681 I kind of, uh, thought 307 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,850 this would be more of, like, a mall situation. 308 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,144 What the hell are you gonna buy a baby at the mall? (scoffs) 309 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,062 (chuckles) Right. Yeah. Silly me. 310 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,105 No, don't get me wrong. 311 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,899 I have nothing against malls. 312 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,192 I love anywhere people shop. 313 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,444 It's just older stuff has better energy. 314 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,029 There's life in it. 315 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,198 When I buy something wrapped in plastic, it's like, 316 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,158 -"Do you want to put a gun to my head?" -No. 317 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,451 But you get it. 318 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,619 Right? 319 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,413 Like, this is a liminal space. 320 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,207 It's... sacred. 321 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,374 It's transformational. 322 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,709 It's... 323 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,212 mm, shamanistic. 324 00:11:58,635 --> 00:11:59,677 (humming) 325 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:00,678 (grunts) 326 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,098 So, let's talk about your sobriety. 327 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,266 Here? 328 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,768 Yeah. No one's listening. 329 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,312 The flow of people here, it's like a river. 330 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,564 We're just two little frogs basking on the bank. 331 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,608 I'd really rather do this where there aren't 332 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,068 Dust Bowl baby dolls staring at me. 333 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,569 Do you want my help or not? 334 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,404 Look, it's just a story. 335 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,447 It's probably not even that good. 336 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,532 -I mean, it's not not good. -Look, 337 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,994 I am going to need you to tell me something interesting. 338 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,829 That's why I got into this game. I mean, if you're just 339 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,207 a boring person, we might not be a match. 340 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,458 -I'm not a boring person. -Okay. 341 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,376 -I'm not. -Great. 342 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:32,543 All right, fine. 343 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,797 Get this-- I just ditched a 24/7 funeral 344 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,507 so I could try to bang my ex, 345 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,300 who has less than a year sober. 346 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,677 And he turned me down anyway. 347 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,053 And then, when that didn't work, 348 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,639 I took a 40-minute Uber to my other ex, 349 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,308 who is currently going through a divorce with my best friend. 350 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,270 Yeah. And I'm living on her couch right now. For free. 351 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,188 'Cause I had to move out of my mom's house, 'cause she's 352 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,690 a crazy person. And I have a boyfriend 353 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,525 who's none of the people that I just mentioned. 354 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,651 And we're in a fight. 355 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:57,735 So... 356 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,320 (mimics explosion) 357 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,572 -Yikes. -What should I do? 358 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,699 I don't know. What do you think you should do? 359 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,033 -I don't know. -I don't either. 360 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,868 -It's confusing. -Isn't this your job? 361 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,370 I think it's your job, actually. 362 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,663 What do you want to do? 363 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,581 I don't know. Do you think I should, like, 364 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,500 tell my boyfriend about everything that I did? 365 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,502 If I knew, I would tell you. But I'm not Brené Brown. 366 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,296 -Well, should I tell my friend? -Why? 367 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,339 Because you're afraid that she'll kick you off her sofa? 368 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,300 -Okay, so I shouldn't tell her. -Well, I'm not saying that. 369 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,427 I mean, would you rather that your friend hear it 370 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,636 -from the guy? -Okay, so I should tell her? 371 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,930 Honey, I don't know. 372 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,474 I'm literally just, like, looking at boots. (gasps) 373 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,685 Oh, my God, Sam. 374 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,103 -A bag of spells. -Mm! 375 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,563 Babies love that shit. 376 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,689 -Oh, wow. -Such a good gift. 377 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:35,732 Yeah. 378 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,942 Wait, what? 379 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,527 SAMANTHA: Nothing-nothing happened. 380 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,154 He was classic Joel about all of it. 381 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,488 But I did go there to try 382 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,240 to make something happen, if that makes sense. 383 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,534 No. It doesn't make sense. 384 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,452 You tried to hook up with Joel, 385 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,162 but you didn't, 386 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,122 so, ultimately, nothing happened? 387 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,206 Why are you telling me this? 388 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,207 It sucks that I know this. 389 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,208 Well, I just thought that... 390 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,377 And why would you tell me at work? 391 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,920 I just pulled a Tic Tac out of a kid's ear. 392 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,380 This is my break! 393 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,798 Don't you have, like, eight journals? 394 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,759 Why don't you just write in one of those next time? 395 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,302 -That's a good idea, actually. -And you know what? 396 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,678 I wish you had hooked up with Joel, 397 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,389 because then I could feel good about feeling mad. 398 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,308 ♪ ♪ 399 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,728 (sighs) 400 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,149 What is this corgi doing? 401 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,233 Stop. 402 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,193 (laughs) 403 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,486 Hi. 404 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,737 Hey. 405 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,322 I have the 20 bucks I owe you. 406 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,823 Ooh! Thanks. 407 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,241 It sucks that Damian only accepts 408 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,077 traveler's checks and barters, 409 00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,661 but his spells are very good, 410 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:31,829 -so... -Mm. 411 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,164 -I bet. -Hey. 412 00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,248 You want to... (clicks tongue) 413 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,291 rap about the Lord? 414 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,250 How'd everything go? 415 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,335 No, I don't want to sit. 416 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:38,294 It went terribly. 417 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,629 Hmm. 418 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,130 Yeah. Hmm. 419 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,673 I just really hurt my friend. 420 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,550 Damn. 421 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,011 You know, I think what might have happened is that 422 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,013 you came to me, a human, 423 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,890 instead of consulting your higher power. 424 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,517 -(scoffs) -I forget, did you-- 425 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,102 have you told me what is your higher power, Sam? 426 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,937 (sighs) 427 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,731 Who or what do you talk to 428 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,816 when, you know, you're in trouble? 429 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,734 No one. I don't have a higher power. 430 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,402 Well, no. I mean, you've been in the program 431 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,654 for, what, well over a year? 432 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,072 -(scoffs) -E-Everybody's got something. 433 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,657 Yeah, well, not me. Sorry. 434 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,368 No, you have... something, Sam. 435 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:11,619 I know you do. 436 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,079 So what is it? I'm asking you... 437 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,249 My dad, okay? I... 438 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,876 think about what my dad would tell me to do, I guess. 439 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,378 Oh. 440 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,839 Well, again, human, so... 441 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:23,840 He's dead! 442 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,675 Everyone's got a dead dad, Sam. 443 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,385 (scoffs): Are... you kidding me? 444 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,220 -Your higher power is shopping. -No. 445 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,805 That's not what my higher power is. 446 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,473 But that's not what we're talking about. 447 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,558 Sam, 448 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,934 -humans... -(sighs) 449 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,395 ...people will inevitably always let you down. 450 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,064 It is why you have to find something 451 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,525 that is bigger... 452 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,776 than us. 453 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,862 You just... 454 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,655 Yeah, well, uh, thanks, Darby. 455 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,157 Good to see you. 456 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,449 Oh. Okay. 457 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,161 Well, slide into my DMs or whatever. 458 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,329 -Keep coming back. -Bye. Thank you. 459 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,084 Hi. 460 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,377 Hi! 461 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,047 Look, I'm sorry this is a little late. 462 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:08,676 Darby insisted the baby would like a bag of spells. 463 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,094 (chuckling): Oh, yeah. 464 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,597 Went through a real Wiccan phase our freshman year. 465 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,223 Honestly... (sniffs) all that incense 466 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,267 is why I think my voice is so deep. 467 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,060 I guess I have to give that one to Darby then. 468 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,312 But? 469 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,938 But I'm-I'm sorry, 470 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,648 but what do you see in her? 471 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,734 I mean, if she is the sponsor to end all sponsors, 472 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:27,153 why does she kind of... suck? 473 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,696 Do you think she kind of sucks because she doesn't tell you 474 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,865 -what you want to hear? -No, she doesn't tell me anything. 475 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,909 At least with you, it was, you know, "Don't drink. 476 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,410 I know you want to drink. Don't drink." 477 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,120 With Darby, all I get is, 478 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,122 "I don't know, Sam. What do you think you should do? 479 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,665 "Oh, yeah, that's pretty confusing. 480 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,708 What do you want to do?" 481 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,376 Sam, you have two years 482 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,879 -and Darby has... 20. -(sighs) 483 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,297 You can trust her. 484 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,090 But don't you think she's, like... 485 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,342 (groans) 486 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,968 You know? Does she care at all? 487 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,429 -(scoffs) -No. Darby doesn't care about your feelings, 488 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,556 because alcohol doesn't care about your feelings. 489 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,769 I... 490 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,648 I think I just really wanted to need all of this a little less. 491 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:04,732 You know? 492 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,025 Feel normal or something. 493 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,903 Normal isn't for people like us. 494 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,198 Sam, you're a drunk. 495 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,574 I'm a drunk. 496 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,992 Everyone's a drunk drunk. 497 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,077 (chuckles softly) 498 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:17,662 And we all need something 499 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,413 bigger than we are to get through this. 500 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,624 ♪ Take you for granted... ♪ 501 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,334 (sighs) 502 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,213 This-this better not be a Karate Kid situation 503 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,172 where I have to clean her car. 504 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,966 'Cause I am quite sure 505 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,009 it is full of red lipstick and Taco Bell wrappers. 506 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,219 Oh, it definitely is. 507 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,845 I get so hungry when I'm in there. 508 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,014 -♪ All the little things ♪ -♪ Try ♪ 509 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,849 -♪ To remember ♪ -♪ Try to remember ♪ 510 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,519 ♪ Not to sweat all the little things. ♪ 511 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,813 Carol. Hi. 512 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,439 -Here. -My cape. 513 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,441 -Yeah. -It's my favorite, so... 514 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,484 thank you. 515 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,986 Um... 516 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,862 I want to talk to you. 517 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,614 We have unfinished business. 518 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,907 Yeah. 519 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,450 I know you think I probably overstepped 520 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,743 and you're not thrilled with me, 521 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,288 but, you know, that's nothing new. 522 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,039 -What does that mean? -I mean, 523 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,375 Sam and I weren't the easiest kids to deal with, 524 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,002 and you've never been my biggest cheerleader. 525 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,546 I don't... cheer. 526 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,298 Right. 527 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,925 I guess I just always thought you blamed me for Sam. 528 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,302 I blamed you 529 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,595 for the getting home late 530 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,138 and the drinking. 531 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,640 But my daughter's an alcoholic, 532 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,809 and I know that now. 533 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,685 So I blame her. 534 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,688 No, I don't. 535 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,106 No. Mm. 536 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,232 I don't blame her, 537 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,650 because that's blame shifting. 538 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,446 Um, can I blame the disease? 539 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,239 Mm, uh, can you? 540 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,532 -I don't know. -I don't know. 541 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,618 Doesn't matter. 542 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,079 I didn't like you when you were a shitty little teen, Felicia. 543 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,291 But I respect the hell out of you as a mother. 544 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,043 Thank you. 545 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,836 It's the hardest job in the world. 546 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,297 Yeah, Zack almost killed me when he was the last in his class 547 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,423 to be potty-trained. 548 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,841 (chuckles) 549 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,302 And you did it all on your own. 550 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,262 -Pretty much. Yeah. -Mm. 551 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,848 Yeah, I know... 552 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,100 something of what that's like. 553 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,354 David went away for a while when Sam was a baby. 554 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,022 -Oh, I didn't know that. -Yeah. 555 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,273 He went to New York 556 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,108 and he played with the Philharmonic 557 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,403 and, um, was gone for months and... 558 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,908 I was not a great single mom. 559 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,535 I couldn't figure out naps 560 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,163 and the bottles. 561 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,165 And I yelled at her. 562 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,335 I once left Sam in a cart 563 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,337 at the Stop & Shop. 564 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,381 I just left her. 565 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,133 And the manager had to chase me out into the parking lot. 566 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,302 This is something you would never do. 567 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,638 I actually did that at a CVS once. 568 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,473 You're a great mom. 569 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,517 We listen to way too much true crime 570 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:48,020 for you to not answer a single one of my... texts. 571 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,819 Do you want to go have dinner? 572 00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,864 (exhales sharply) 573 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,245 (groans) 574 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,871 Oh, hey-- Oh. 575 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,790 -Damn it, you are not my sandwich. -Hey, so I have 576 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,375 been beating myself up all day, 577 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,751 -and I was like, "You know what..." -Joel. 578 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,336 -Joel. -No, I-I have to do this. Um... 579 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,672 A thing happened with Sam. 580 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,173 Here's the thing though-- it also didn't happen, 581 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,425 -which was... -Yeah. 582 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,802 I know. I've already heard this today. 583 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,929 -You have? -Yeah. Sam told me. 584 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,930 Sorry, why do you both feel the need 585 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,014 to come here to tell me things? 586 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,183 I don't know. I-- It... 587 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,768 It feels kind of like I'm supposed to? 588 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,520 We're divorced. We can move on. 589 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,105 Go. Fly. 590 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,815 Okay. 591 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,775 You know, the thing is though 592 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,652 you still haven't even signed the divorce papers. 593 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,195 I'm fine to move on. 594 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,697 Just let me know when you want to do it. 595 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,073 If you even do. 596 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,702 Sorry I wasn't your sandwich, by the way. 597 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,163 ♪ ♪ 598 00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,498 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org