1 00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:03,177 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:05,396 -Next up, The People vs. Pam Allen. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,703 -Your Honor, the defense moves to have this case dismissed 4 00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:11,054 due to my client's debilitating medical condition. 5 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,274 -If I may ask, what condition is that? 6 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,798 -Defendant claims she's a werewolf. 7 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,628 -Actually, Your Honor, she would be a wiffwolf, 8 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:22,065 since "were" is Old English for "man." 9 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,114 -Patriarchy strikes again. 10 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,899 -Okay, none of this excuses the fact that Ms. Allen 11 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,335 bit the ankle of an innocent deliveryman, 12 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:36,253 then chased his truck and humped a child's Teddy bear. 13 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:40,301 -Your Honor, try to put yourself in my client's...paws. 14 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,824 She was very much on edge. 15 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,217 There were fireworks, and someone nearby 16 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,784 was running a vacuum cleaner. 17 00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:48,222 -My neighbors are monsters. 18 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,139 -If the defendant is, indeed, a wiffwolf, 19 00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:55,272 her actions are beyond the court's jurisdiction. 20 00:00:55,316 --> 00:01:00,060 Therefore, we will allow her the opportunity to...turn? 21 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,932 Transform? 22 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:07,458 -We will accept transform. -Great. 23 00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,156 Can we get an infield huddle? 24 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,115 -What the hell is going on here? 25 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,595 We're only three cases in, 26 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,640 and we've already had a feminist werewolf, 27 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,947 someone trying to break the time barrier, 28 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,776 and what appears to be a classic body swap. 29 00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,654 -It's a Blood Moon, Your Honor. 30 00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,395 It's when the city's craziest cases come in. 31 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:34,616 -We used to actually bet on all the insanity back in the day. 32 00:01:34,658 --> 00:01:36,051 One year I won the trifecta. 33 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,402 I had invisible man, a doll come to life, 34 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:41,013 and an alien trying to get back to his home planet. 35 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,015 -We play Blood Moon Bingo. 36 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,453 The cards would be here already, but... 37 00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,847 [ Spookily ] ...the copier is broken! 38 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,938 [ Normal voice ] What? Trying to set the mood. 39 00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,375 -Let's call the next case. 40 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,029 -Uh, I can't seem to find the paperwork, Your Honor. 41 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,292 -This is a scary one, Your Honor, 42 00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,815 even for a Blood Moon. 43 00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:02,992 -Alright, what is it, a zombie, a swamp monster? 44 00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:05,429 -Worse! It's a mom! 45 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,866 -Ahhh! 46 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,392 -Oh, my gosh! -Oh, my gosh! 47 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,698 -Oh, good, now there's two of them. 48 00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:23,404 ♪♪ 49 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:30,672 ♪♪ 50 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,543 -I know I wasn't supposed to come down 51 00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:35,198 for another couple of months, but I just couldn't wait. 52 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,505 What if I got hit by a bus before then? 53 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,071 It's very possible. 54 00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,161 Our town is up to two buses. 55 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,772 -Guys, this is my mom, Gina. 56 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,168 -Oh, you must be Olivia. 57 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,213 You look just like the lady 58 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,215 they put in the picture frames at Marshall's. 59 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:56,872 And then you buy it and think, "Maybe I'll just keep it in." 60 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,570 -Do you really mean that? -Yeah. 61 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,356 -Not -- Not used to sincere parenting. 62 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,444 Oh, God, I'm crying. 63 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,230 -And you must be -- -I am, and let me just say 64 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,537 you have excellent taste in daughters. 65 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,582 -I'm sorry? -Don't be. 66 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:15,282 So -- -There's my partner in crime. 67 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:18,676 Oh, thank you so much for helping me plan this, Gurgs. 68 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,938 -Oh! 69 00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:22,506 That hug has some torque behind it. 70 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,248 -I went to an authentic New York shop in Times Square 71 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:28,033 and got you all personalized key chains. 72 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,905 They had a "Gurgs." 73 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,820 But sorry, they didn't have a "Neil." 74 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,301 So, I just got you one that says "Guy." 75 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,261 -This says Olivia. That's my name. 76 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,305 This is a gift. 77 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:42,091 It's a gift for Olivia. 78 00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:45,355 -And for you, my dear, I brought you a potted plant 79 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:49,403 because the air-quality index in Manhattan is just a skull. 80 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:52,014 -She doesn't trust a city that never sleeps. 81 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,582 -And why does it never sleep? 82 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,279 Drugs. 83 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:01,589 -Ah, and here's the famous Dan Fielding. 84 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,678 -Well, hi. Nice to finally meet you. 85 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:06,071 -Gina. -Ah, Gina. 86 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,421 You look familiar. 87 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,249 Have we ever -- -We've never met. 88 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,338 I've heard a lot about you from Harry. 89 00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,600 -Ah. 90 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,472 -Um, I need to use the ladies room. 91 00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,474 -Oh, down the hall and to the left. 92 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,128 And I know you like to have a good time, 93 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:21,348 but do not call any of the phone numbers written in there. 94 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:22,784 -I'm headed that way. 95 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:25,613 May I show you? -Oh, what a gentleman. 96 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:26,875 I love a bathroom escort. 97 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,093 -Oh, that's what those numbers are! 98 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,313 Really, don't call them! 99 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,880 -Oh, you're from Baton Rouge, huh? 100 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,143 I hear there's a lot of jazz down there. 101 00:04:34,186 --> 00:04:37,189 Listen up, Fielding. We need to talk. 102 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,627 -Oh, my God. That's who you are! 103 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,498 I thought I recognized you. 104 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,979 You married Harry? -Zip it! 105 00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,459 My daughter doesn't know we know each other, 106 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,330 and I want to keep it that way. 107 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,505 -Wait, so she doesn't know how you and Harry actually -- 108 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,986 -Shh! 109 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,467 I'm not getting into this with you. 110 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,338 I just came here to check on my daughter 111 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,514 and make sure you keep your trap shut. 112 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,473 -Hey, listen, I know better than to get mixed up 113 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:02,084 in whatever this is. 114 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:05,392 The only family drama I care about is "Succession." 115 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,132 I'm rooting for the old man. 116 00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,525 I want everybody else to die 117 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:12,181 and him just keep getting richer and richer. 118 00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:15,402 -So we have an understanding? -Yes, I understand that 119 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:19,144 for some reason you want to keep secrets from your daughter. 120 00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:21,712 Which is none of my business. 121 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,325 -Now, are you going to show me where the bathroom is or not? 122 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,543 -Follow me. 123 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,892 What the hell am I doing? Go that way. 124 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,416 Go that way. 125 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,377 -I'm telling you. 126 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,292 There's something going on between Dan and Gina. 127 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,512 I have a seventh sense about these things. 128 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,730 -Isn't it a sixth sense? 129 00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,819 -No, my sixth sense is I see dead people, 130 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,212 like that boy. 131 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,735 -From the movie? -No, the one next to you. 132 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,263 -There she is! No, you can move. 133 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,743 It's a video. -Oh, okay. 134 00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,223 Well, welcome to Night Court. 135 00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,225 -Never mind. I stopped it. 136 00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,576 -Must be nice having your mom here. 137 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,012 -Oh, it's great. 138 00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:03,406 But also it's very bad. 139 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,408 When she pops in like this, it means she's worried. 140 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,585 I love my mom, but we are very different people, 141 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,805 and she was always against me taking this job. 142 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:13,895 With her, everything has to be neat and tidy and perfect, 143 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,113 and this place is -- 144 00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:17,638 -Merry Blood Moon, everyone! 145 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,074 The bingo cards are here. 146 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,904 -Like that. 147 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,472 -Well, actually, for legal reasons, it's "binga." 148 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,778 "Blood Moon Bingo" is a John Cusack Redbox movie. 149 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:31,565 -Ooh, right off the bat, I got drunk Statue of Liberty. 150 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:37,527 -Here you go, Blaine. I know you're used to winning -- 151 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:40,443 Oscar pools, trivia nights, blood drives. 152 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:43,664 But that ends tonight because I have been practicing. 153 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,796 -This is a game of chance. How are you practicing? 154 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:50,105 -If you're asking that question, I'm already in your head. 155 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:54,022 -Honey, remember to engage your core when banging the gavel. 156 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,200 She hurt her elbow playing softball. 157 00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,941 Now she has a corpse ligament. 158 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,509 -You don't really have to worry, you know. 159 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,512 Corpse ligament or not, she's very capable. 160 00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,514 Is that why you're hiding things from her? 161 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,472 You don't think she can handle it? 162 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:16,174 -Excuse me. I'm trying to talk to my friend, this Beetlejuice. 163 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,656 -I call the court to order. What's the next case? 164 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,485 -We have The People vs. Marsha Roberts, Your Honor. 165 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,487 -The defendant was arrested for barricading patrons 166 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,621 into a Home Depot and blasting Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville" 167 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,840 through the PA system for six hours. 168 00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:32,843 -Your Honor, my client was merely following instructions 169 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:36,194 personally given to her by...Satan. 170 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,109 -When you say Satan, you mean -- 171 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,284 -The main one. 172 00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,374 -Satan is my father. 173 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,552 -Isn't that wonderful? 174 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:49,686 Parent and child sharing an open line of communication. 175 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,296 There are no secrets in this family. 176 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,474 We should all be so lucky. 177 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,084 -Real quick. 178 00:07:56,127 --> 00:08:00,175 When Satan speaks to you, is it in your head or from a dog? 179 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:03,004 -He speaks through my air fryer. 180 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,660 -Possessed appliances -- I got it. 181 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,011 [ Gavel bangs ] 182 00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,578 -Order! 183 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,362 As a judge who has everything under control, 184 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,016 I find Ms. Roberts guilty of false imprisonment 185 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,800 and call a recess. 186 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:20,543 -Oh, oh, are you calling recess because a dog told you to? 187 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,763 -No! 188 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:25,940 -Satan is a big fan of your work. 189 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:28,290 -We go way back. 190 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:34,383 -Well, you all certainly do interesting work around here. 191 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,864 -Tonight is a little crazier than usual, 192 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,082 but I got it handled. 193 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,693 You'll see. Things will settle down. 194 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,563 -Has anyone seen my gun? 195 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,698 -Don't worry. He always finds it. 196 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:48,266 So, how did you meet Abby's dad? 197 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,660 -Oh, no one wants to hear that boring story. 198 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,707 -Personally, I would just love to hear what you've been 199 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,447 telling Abby all these years. 200 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,798 -It's a fairy tale. 201 00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,278 My dad was upstate for the Mel Tormé concert 202 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:01,758 and decided to go to the Harvest Festival. 203 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,761 He and my mom ended up in the same Ferris-wheel cart, 204 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,242 and by the end of the ride, they fell in love. 205 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,939 Later that night, he proposed, saying, 206 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:11,638 "You're only one 'yes' away from the rest of your life." 207 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,901 -Almost sounds too good to be true. 208 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,555 -Well, that's exactly how it happened. 209 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,819 And we had a wonderful life 210 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,777 until my daughter decided the Big Apple 211 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,823 was more important than her little mom. 212 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,129 -Mom, I'm not going over this again. 213 00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:26,391 -I'm just saying. 214 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,264 I miss you. Rand misses you. 215 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,875 All the people that love you are upstate. 216 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,008 -You and your mom talk about how you love each other? 217 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,401 It's not just a word that was once written in a birthday card 218 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,838 you keep with you at all times? 219 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:42,320 Did someone hear a phone ring? I got to take this. 220 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,974 -You just seem overwhelmed. 221 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,761 -You've only seen one case! I'm doing good work here, Mom. 222 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:51,025 -Honey, I'm not trying to fight. 223 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:53,331 You know what? It's getting late. 224 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:55,203 I should just head back to the hotel. 225 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,508 -Oh, no, no, don't leave. 226 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,815 You should not leave. You should stay. 227 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:02,558 You never know what the Blood Moon might reveal. 228 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,475 -I figured it out, Timo. 229 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,346 Those two have history. 230 00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:13,177 Classic PTSD -- Post Tremendous Sex Disorder. 231 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,614 Oh, don't look at me like that. 232 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,485 I was right about you and Carol. 233 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,142 -Quick question. 234 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,492 Would you be willing to set yourself on fire? 235 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:27,017 Wait, are you stalking Abby's mom on Facebook? 236 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,540 -No! 237 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:29,890 I'm just doing some light research 238 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,632 so I can have a successful conversation with her. 239 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,329 -Oh, Neil. 240 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:37,201 Being a person might not be for you. 241 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:40,683 -Being great with moms is my thing. 242 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,338 At sleepovers, I didn't care who Jonah had a crush on. 243 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,948 I wanted to hang with Mrs. Rayzok 244 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:48,473 and hear how Mr. Rayzok's anger management was going. 245 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,040 [ Whispering ] Not well. 246 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,043 -If you want to get the good dirt, 247 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,349 just use your clerk powers. 248 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,872 Access the state database. 249 00:10:55,915 --> 00:10:58,353 -I guess it couldn't hurt to know some previous addresses. 250 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,703 Wait. This can't be right. 251 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,880 -Abby's mom was convicted of running a gambling ring? 252 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:07,057 -Dan prosecuted her, and the judge was Harry Stone. 253 00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,712 [ Whispering ] I bet that's Abby's dad! 254 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,849 -You're good. 255 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,548 All moms have secrets, right? 256 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,376 Mine was that she never wanted me, 257 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,987 although I guess it wasn't really much of a secret 258 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:28,209 because it's how she'd kick off parent-teacher conferences. 259 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,125 We're not going to tell Abby this, right? 260 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,604 -No, of course not. 261 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,258 I know when to not tell people things. 262 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,565 -I won't say anything, either. 263 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,700 Sorry, couldn't help but overhear. 264 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,223 Wolf ears. 265 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,753 -Oops, you spilled. 266 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,625 You seem to be in a spilling mood tonight. 267 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,977 -I needed that to take a pill. 268 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,457 -I thought you weren't going to get involved. 269 00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,807 -I had to say something. 270 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,765 Abby deserves to know the truth. 271 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,029 Oh, and what was that story you told, 272 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,858 two adult strangers taking a Ferris wheel together? 273 00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:11,078 Ooh-ooh, made you sound like a couple of creeps. 274 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:13,080 -Creeps?! 275 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:15,952 I stole that from the back of a Danielle Steel novel. 276 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,519 -I think you're underestimating your daughter. 277 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,956 She is stronger than you think. 278 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,218 -So am I. 279 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,785 -You! 280 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,922 -Everything alright? 281 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,185 Seem a little nervous around Gina. 282 00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,621 -I don't get nervous. 283 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,970 Besides, I hardly know the woman. 284 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,450 -Oh, stop. 285 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:39,019 I know all about you two and your secret past, 286 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,499 and unlike the drug-sniffing dog downstairs, 287 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:42,849 you can't get anything past me. 288 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,026 -I don't have anything to hide. 289 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,028 If it was up to me, Abby would know all of it, 290 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,465 but her mother is against it for some reason. 291 00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,380 -Oh, well, I think I know the reason. 292 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,077 Abby don't want to know that about her mama. 293 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,862 You should keep it to yourself. -You know something? 294 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,820 I wouldn't be in this position if Harry and Gina 295 00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,561 had just told her the truth to begin with. 296 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:02,303 -Her dad knew? -Well, of course. 297 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,044 He was there the whole time. 298 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,786 You know, it was just a regular Tuesday night for us. 299 00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,484 -Ugh! Y'all are gross. 300 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,668 -Hey, Earth angel. 301 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,497 Where's the sock hop? 302 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,673 -I've been approaching this all wrong. 303 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,632 Gina is a criminal. She's probably into bad boys. 304 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:28,895 So, I'm being bad. 305 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:32,855 -Should I just sit where I was before? 306 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,684 -I wouldn't know. Rules aren't my thing. 307 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:42,169 Next up, The People vs. Todd and Missy McMurray. 308 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:44,345 -The McMurrays are charged with disturbing the peace 309 00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,999 outside a bodega on St. Marks Place. 310 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,436 -Your Honor, my clients were just involved 311 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,090 in a lovers' squabble, nothing serious. 312 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,441 Some words were exchanged. Some produce was thrown. 313 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:56,096 -Nothing serious? It was attempted murder. 314 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,098 She threw garlic at me. 315 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,665 -And it's attempted murder because? 316 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,537 -They're vampires. 317 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,627 -Vampire drama. 318 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,108 One square away from winning the money to pay for my dad's Lasik. 319 00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,719 -Does everyone around here 320 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,939 have an amazing relationship with their parents? 321 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,029 -Your Honor, she started this. 322 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,421 -Because I had the nerve to ask you 323 00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:18,945 where you were the other night? 324 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,121 -I was looking for a virgin to surprise you 325 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,905 for our anniversary. 326 00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:25,038 You think I wanted to go to a Barenaked Ladies 327 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,083 reunion concert? 328 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,607 -You never tell me anything, 329 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,566 like when I have food in my fangs. 330 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,264 I can't look in a mirror, Todd! 331 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,440 [ Both hissing ] 332 00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:40,705 -Bunch of weirdos around here. 333 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,490 -I'm going to be honest. 334 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,275 I don't care about garlic or virgins. 335 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,408 But I am very excited to hear that the Barenaked Ladies 336 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,540 are back together. 337 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,107 At the end of the day, 338 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:54,632 you two found someone who accepts you for who you are. 339 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,113 That's special and worth fighting for. 340 00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:00,203 And since this is your first offense, the state is willing 341 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:04,120 to drop the charges if you agree to couples counseling. 342 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:08,429 Before you say no, remember, you're only one "yes" away 343 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,083 from the rest of your life. 344 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,958 -I do still love you. -I love you, too. 345 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,833 -Honey, that was beautiful. 346 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,184 It was like watching your dad up there. 347 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:28,405 -I mean, you never actually saw him as a judge. 348 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,016 -About that. 349 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,759 -Binga! Criminal hugs judge! 350 00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,197 Criminal hugs judge! 351 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,025 I win! I win! 352 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,984 -Criminal? 353 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,334 -Hey, not me. Didn't say a word, nope. 354 00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,075 -Don't look at me. 355 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:48,469 I just thought she had the best sex of her life with Dan. 356 00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:51,515 -Why would you think that? 357 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:52,995 I made it perfectly clear 358 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,693 I was just trying to get her in handcuffs. 359 00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,131 Oh! Yeah, now I hear it. 360 00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:01,438 -Mom, how could you -- Mom? 361 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:02,918 -Alright. 362 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,964 Now that that's out in the open, Neil, 363 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,661 what the hell are you wearing? 364 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:13,755 ♪♪ 365 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:19,891 -Gina Brown operated an illegal high-stakes poker game 366 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,981 in Hell's Kitchen for over a year. 367 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,070 Who is this person? 368 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,376 My mom doesn't even watch the Super Bowl. 369 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:29,249 We're Puppy Bowl people. 370 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,730 Is this why no one ran against her for PTA president? 371 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:36,299 Or why she knew so many people on "Dateline"? 372 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:39,520 -Feels like questions you should ask your mother. 373 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,697 -Why, so she can just lie to me more? 374 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,177 -You know, I'm not going to pretend to understand 375 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:46,309 why your parents kept this from you. 376 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:49,878 But, then again, there's a lot about Harry I didn't understand, 377 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,795 like he would keep rabbits up his sleeve for hours 378 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,450 just in case there was a chance of magic. 379 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,889 You give every defendant who comes in here 380 00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:05,633 a chance to tell their sad, desperate side of the story. 381 00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:07,896 Don't you think your mother deserves the same? 382 00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,811 I mean, do whatever you want. 383 00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:13,902 I am not going to get involved. 384 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:15,121 -I wouldn't even know where to find her. 385 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:17,036 -I told her to wait in the courtroom. 386 00:17:18,906 --> 00:17:21,214 Not involved, starting now. 387 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,089 -Honey, can I explain? 388 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,134 -First. 389 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,138 Do you swear to tell the truth, 390 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,140 the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? 391 00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,098 -I do, Your Honor. 392 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:43,279 -Gina Stone for the defense. You may proceed. 393 00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,933 -Okay, first, 394 00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:47,849 I just want to say your father wanted you to know. 395 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,417 But he respected that it was my story to tell. 396 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,463 -Right. So, tell it. 397 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,945 -It started with a little poker game at the Jiffy Lube 398 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,512 where my boyfriend worked. 399 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:04,344 We were riding high on cash and exhaust fumes. 400 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:09,610 But things got out of control, and I ended up here. 401 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:13,831 Your dad could've thrown the book at me. 402 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:20,969 But he saw me the way I wanted to see myself. 403 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,277 -He had a habit of doing that. 404 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,194 -After I served my time, I -- I reached out. 405 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,327 Turns out I was on his mind, too. 406 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:36,202 He wasn't sure about the whole judge-dating-the-ex-con thing. 407 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:39,335 But I said, 408 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:42,817 "You're only one 'yes' away from the rest of your life." 409 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,645 -That was you? 410 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:48,170 -We wanted a fresh start, 411 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,912 so we got married and moved upstate. 412 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,219 -So, no Ferris wheel? -Mnh-mnh. 413 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:54,959 -Because I bought you, like, a thousand Ferris-wheel 414 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,222 Christmas ornaments. 415 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,877 -Sorry, I should've told you. 416 00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:02,010 But I was ashamed. 417 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,839 -I know what that's like. 418 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,449 When I was struggling, 419 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,364 I did things that I wouldn't want to tell my kids about. 420 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,366 When I have kids -- I don't have any secret kids. 421 00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:13,195 But if I did, this would be the time to tell you. 422 00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:16,155 No, I thought I was the only screw-up in the family. 423 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,331 It's nice to know that my perfect mom 424 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,680 is as messed up as I am. 425 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,030 -Oh! I'm a huge mess. 426 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,338 There is one other thing. 427 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,861 [ Sighs ] 428 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:29,951 Abby isn't short for Abigail. 429 00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,258 Your real name is Abracadabra Stone. 430 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,958 I'm sorry. That one's on your father. 431 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,047 -You know what? 432 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,267 I think I've always felt like an Abracadabra. 433 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:42,920 Order in the court! 434 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,271 Judge Abracadabra Stone presiding. 435 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:46,794 I love it. 436 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,232 -Hey! 437 00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:56,107 Well, looks like it all worked out. 438 00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:59,937 You guys made up, and nobody's mad at me for exposing 439 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:03,158 for a decades-long family secret for my own profit. 440 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:09,251 -So, um, what you got there? Couple hundred bucks? 441 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,731 -Uh... 442 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,907 -How would you like to double that? 443 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,130 -See, this is why I don't come down here. 444 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:23,134 -Sorry you didn't transform. 445 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,353 Until tonight, I didn't even know 446 00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:27,095 there was a glass ceiling in the wolf world. 447 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,228 But I was rooting for you to break it. 448 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,317 -Thanks for seeing me, Gurgs. 449 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,232 I'll do my best not to eat you tonight. 450 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,280 -What's the matter, Neil? 451 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:41,762 Did you hit the jukebox, and it didn't come on? 452 00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,591 -I blew it with Gina. 453 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,201 My streak is over. 454 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,942 -Well, why you care so much about Gina? 455 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,596 [ Gasps ] You got a crush on Gina! 456 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:50,858 -What? No. 457 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,599 -[ Gasps ] You got a crush on me! 458 00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:53,991 -If I had a crush on you, 459 00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,515 I'd be trying to impress yourmom. 460 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:56,516 [ Both gasp ] 461 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,126 -You got a crush on Abby! 462 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,303 -Oh, no. 463 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:02,783 I do. 464 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:05,438 -You are so screwed. 465 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:08,397 But that means my seventh sense was right. 466 00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,312 There was a love connection in the courtroom. 467 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,401 -Gurgs, you cannot tell her. 468 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,316 -Well, I can keep a secret, but I can't speak for Pam. 469 00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:19,843 [ Pam howls ] 470 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,976 Oh, you're good. She got her own stuff going on.