1 00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:05,396 Next up, The People vs. Pam Allen. 2 00:00:05,396 --> 00:00:07,703 Your Honor, the defense moves to have this case dismissed 3 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:11,054 due to my client's debilitating medical condition. 4 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,274 If I may ask, what condition is that? 5 00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,798 Defendant claims she's a werewolf. 6 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,628 Actually, Your Honor, she would be a wiffwolf, 7 00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:22,065 since "were" is Old English for "man." 8 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,114 Patriarchy strikes again. 9 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,899 Okay, none of this excuses the fact that Ms. Allen 10 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,335 bit the ankle of an innocent deliveryman, 11 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:36,253 then chased his truck and humped a child's Teddy bear. 12 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:40,301 Your Honor, try to put yourself in my client's... paws. 13 00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,824 She was very much on edge. 14 00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,217 There were fireworks, and someone nearby 15 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,784 was running a vacuum cleaner. 16 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:48,222 My neighbors are monsters. 17 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,139 If the defendant is, indeed, a wiffwolf, 18 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:55,272 her actions are beyond the court's jurisdiction. 19 00:00:55,272 --> 00:01:00,060 Therefore, we will allow her the opportunity to... turn? 20 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,932 Transform? 21 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,458 - We will accept transform. - Great. 22 00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,156 Can we get an infield huddle? 23 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,115 What the hell is going on here? 24 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,595 We're only three cases in, 25 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,640 and we've already had a feminist werewolf, 26 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,947 someone trying to break the time barrier, 27 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,776 and what appears to be a classic body swap. 28 00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,654 It's a Blood Moon, Your Honor. 29 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,395 It's when the city's craziest cases come in. 30 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,616 We used to actually bet on all the insanity back in the day. 31 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,052 One year I won the trifecta. 32 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:38,402 I had invisible man, a doll come to life, 33 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,013 and an alien trying to get back to his home planet. 34 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,016 We play Blood Moon Bingo. 35 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,453 The cards would be here already, but... 36 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:48,847 ...the copier is broken! 37 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,938 What? Trying to set the mood. 38 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,375 Let's call the next case. 39 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,029 Uh, I can't seem to find the paperwork, Your Honor. 40 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,292 This is a scary one, Your Honor, 41 00:01:58,292 --> 00:01:59,815 even for a Blood Moon. 42 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:02,992 Alright, what is it, a zombie, a swamp monster? 43 00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,429 Worse! It's a mom! 44 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,866 Ahhh! 45 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,392 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, my gosh! 46 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,698 Oh, good, now there's two of them. 47 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,543 I know I wasn't supposed to come down 48 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:35,198 for another couple of months, but I just couldn't wait. 49 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:37,505 What if I got hit by a bus before then? 50 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,071 It's very possible. 51 00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:41,161 Our town is up to two buses. 52 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,772 Guys, this is my mom, Gina. 53 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,168 Oh, you must be Olivia. 54 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,213 You look just like the lady 55 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,215 they put in the picture frames at Marshall's. 56 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:56,872 And then you buy it and think, "Maybe I'll just keep it in." 57 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,570 - Do you really mean that? - Yeah. 58 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,356 Not-- Not used to sincere parenting. 59 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,444 Oh, God, I'm crying. 60 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,230 - And you must be-- - I am, and let me just say 61 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,537 you have excellent taste in daughters. 62 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,582 - I'm sorry? - Don't be. 63 00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:15,282 So-- - There's my partner in crime. 64 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:18,676 Oh, thank you so much for helping me plan this, Gurgs. 65 00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:19,938 Oh! 66 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,506 That hug has some torque behind it. 67 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,248 I went to an authentic New York shop in Times Square 68 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:28,033 and got you all personalized key chains. 69 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,905 They had a "Gurgs." 70 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,820 But sorry, they didn't have a "Neil." 71 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,301 So, I just got you one that says "Guy." 72 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,261 This says Olivia. That's my name. 73 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,306 This is a gift. 74 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,091 It's a gift for Olivia. 75 00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:45,355 And for you, my dear, I brought you a potted plant 76 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,403 because the air-quality index in Manhattan is just a skull. 77 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:52,014 She doesn't trust a city that never sleeps. 78 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,582 And why does it never sleep? 79 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,279 Drugs. 80 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:01,589 Ah, and here's the famous Dan Fielding. 81 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,678 Well, hi. Nice to finally meet you. 82 00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,071 - Gina. - Ah, Gina. 83 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,421 You look familiar. 84 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,249 Have we ever-- - We've never met. 85 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,338 I've heard a lot about you from Harry. 86 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:12,600 Ah. 87 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,472 Um, I need to use the ladies room. 88 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,474 Oh, down the hall and to the left. 89 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,128 And I know you like to have a good time, 90 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,348 but do not call any of the phone numbers written in there. 91 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,784 I'm headed that way. 92 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,613 May I show you? - Oh, what a gentleman. 93 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:26,875 I love a bathroom escort. 94 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,093 Oh, that's what those numbers are! 95 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,313 Really, don't call them! 96 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,880 Oh, you're from Baton Rouge, huh? 97 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,143 I hear there's a lot of jazz down there. 98 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:37,189 Listen up, Fielding. We need to talk. 99 00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,627 Oh, my God. That's who you are! 100 00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,498 I thought I recognized you. 101 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,979 You married Harry? - Zip it! 102 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,459 My daughter doesn't know we know each other, 103 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,330 and I want to keep it that way. 104 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,505 Wait, so she doesn't know how you and Harry actually-- 105 00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:50,986 Shh! 106 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,467 I'm not getting into this with you. 107 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:55,338 I just came here to check on my daughter 108 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,514 and make sure you keep your trap shut. 109 00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:59,473 Hey, listen, I know better than to get mixed up 110 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,084 in whatever this is. 111 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:05,392 The only family drama I care about is "Succession." 112 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,132 I'm rooting for the old man. 113 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,525 I want everybody else to die 114 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:12,181 and him just keep getting richer and richer. 115 00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:15,402 - So we have an understanding? - Yes, I understand that 116 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:19,144 for some reason you want to keep secrets from your daughter. 117 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,712 Which is none of my business. 118 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:25,325 Now, are you going to show me where the bathroom is or not? 119 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,543 Follow me. 120 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:27,892 What the hell am I doing? 121 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,416 Go that way. 122 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,377 I'm telling you. 123 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,292 There's something going on between Dan and Gina. 124 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:38,512 I have a seventh sense about these things. 125 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,730 Isn't it a sixth sense? 126 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,819 No, my sixth sense is I see dead people, 127 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,212 like that boy. 128 00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,735 - From the movie? - No, the one next to you. 129 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,263 There she is! No, you can move. 130 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,743 It's a video. - Oh, okay. 131 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,223 Well, welcome to Night Court. 132 00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:56,225 Never mind. I stopped it. 133 00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,576 Must be nice having your mom here. 134 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,012 Oh, it's great. 135 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,406 But also it's very bad. 136 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,408 When she pops in like this, it means she's worried. 137 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,585 I love my mom, but we are very different people, 138 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,805 and she was always against me taking this job. 139 00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:13,895 With her, everything has to be neat and tidy and perfect, 140 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,113 and this place is-- 141 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:17,638 Merry Blood Moon, everyone! 142 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,074 The bingo cards are here. 143 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,904 Like that. 144 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,472 Well, actually, for legal reasons, it's "binga." 145 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,778 "Blood Moon Bingo" is a John Cusack Redbox movie. 146 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:31,565 Ooh, right off the bat, I got drunk Statue of Liberty. 147 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:37,527 Here you go, Blaine. I know you're used to winning-- 148 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,443 Oscar pools, trivia nights, blood drives. 149 00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:43,664 But that ends tonight because I have been practicing. 150 00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,796 This is a game of chance. How are you practicing? 151 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:50,105 If you're asking that question, I'm already in your head. 152 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:54,022 Honey, remember to engage your core when banging the gavel. 153 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,200 She hurt her elbow playing softball. 154 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,941 Now she has a corpse ligament. 155 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,509 You don't really have to worry, you know. 156 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,512 Corpse ligament or not, she's very capable. 157 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,514 Is that why you're hiding things from her? 158 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,472 You don't think she can handle it? 159 00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:16,174 Excuse me. I'm trying to talk to my friend, this Beetlejuice. 160 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,656 I call the court to order. What's the next case? 161 00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,485 We have The People vs. Marsha Roberts, Your Honor. 162 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,487 The defendant was arrested for barricading patrons 163 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,621 into a Home Depot and blasting Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville" 164 00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,840 through the PA system for six hours. 165 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,843 Your Honor, my client was merely following instructions 166 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:36,194 personally given to her by... Satan. 167 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,109 When you say Satan, you mean-- 168 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,285 The main one. 169 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,374 Satan is my father. 170 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,552 Isn't that wonderful? 171 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:49,686 Parent and child sharing an open line of communication. 172 00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,296 There are no secrets in this family. 173 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:54,474 We should all be so lucky. 174 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,084 Real quick. 175 00:07:56,084 --> 00:08:00,175 When Satan speaks to you, is it in your head or from a dog? 176 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:03,004 He speaks through my air fryer. 177 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,660 Possessed appliances-- I got it. 178 00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,578 Order! 179 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,362 As a judge who has everything under control, 180 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,016 I find Ms. Roberts guilty of false imprisonment 181 00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,800 and call a recess. 182 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,543 Oh, oh, are you calling recess because a dog told you to? 183 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,763 No! 184 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,940 Satan is a big fan of your work. 185 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,290 We go way back. 186 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:34,383 Well, you all certainly do interesting work around here. 187 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,864 Tonight is a little crazier than usual, 188 00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,082 but I got it handled. 189 00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,693 You'll see. Things will settle down. 190 00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,564 Has anyone seen my gun? 191 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,698 Don't worry. He always finds it. 192 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:48,266 So, how did you meet Abby's dad? 193 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,660 Oh, no one wants to hear that boring story. 194 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,707 Personally, I would just love to hear what you've been 195 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,447 telling Abby all these years. 196 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,798 It's a fairy tale. 197 00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,278 My dad was upstate for the Mel Tormé concert 198 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,758 and decided to go to the Harvest Festival. 199 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:04,761 He and my mom ended up in the same Ferris-wheel cart, 200 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:07,242 and by the end of the ride, they fell in love. 201 00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,939 Later that night, he proposed, saying, 202 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,638 "You're only one 'yes' away from the rest of your life." 203 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,901 Almost sounds too good to be true. 204 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,555 Well, that's exactly how it happened. 205 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,819 And we had a wonderful life 206 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,777 until my daughter decided the Big Apple 207 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,823 was more important than her little mom. 208 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:25,129 Mom, I'm not going over this again. 209 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,391 I'm just saying. 210 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:29,264 I miss you. Rand misses you. 211 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,875 All the people that love you are upstate. 212 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,008 You and your mom talk about how you love each other? 213 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,401 It's not just a word that was once written in a birthday card 214 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,838 you keep with you at all times? 215 00:09:37,838 --> 00:09:42,320 Did someone hear a phone ring? I got to take this. 216 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,974 You just seem overwhelmed. 217 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:47,761 You've only seen one case! I'm doing good work here, Mom. 218 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:51,025 Honey, I'm not trying to fight. 219 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,331 You know what? It's getting late. 220 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,203 I should just head back to the hotel. 221 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:56,508 Oh, no, no, don't leave. 222 00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,815 You should not leave. You should stay. 223 00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:02,558 You never know what the Blood Moon might reveal. 224 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,475 I figured it out, Timo. 225 00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,346 Those two have history. 226 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:13,177 Classic PTSD-- Post Tremendous Sex Disorder. 227 00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,614 Oh, don't look at me like that. 228 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,485 I was right about you and Carol. 229 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,142 Quick question. 230 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,492 Would you be willing to set yourself on fire? 231 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:27,017 Wait, are you stalking Abby's mom on Facebook? 232 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,540 No! 233 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:29,890 I'm just doing some light research 234 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,632 so I can have a successful conversation with her. 235 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,329 Oh, Neil. 236 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:37,201 Being a person might not be for you. 237 00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:40,683 Being great with moms is my thing. 238 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,338 At sleepovers, I didn't care who Jonah had a crush on. 239 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,948 I wanted to hang with Mrs. Rayzok 240 00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:48,473 and hear how Mr. Rayzok's anger management was going. 241 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,040 Not well. 242 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,043 If you want to get the good dirt, 243 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,349 just use your clerk powers. 244 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,872 Access the state database. 245 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,353 I guess it couldn't hurt to know some previous addresses. 246 00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,703 Wait. This can't be right. 247 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,880 Abby's mom was convicted of running a gambling ring? 248 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,057 Dan prosecuted her, and the judge was Harry Stone. 249 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,712 I bet that's Abby's dad! 250 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,849 You're good. 251 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,548 All moms have secrets, right? 252 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,376 Mine was that she never wanted me, 253 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,987 although I guess it wasn't really much of a secret 254 00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:28,209 because it's how she'd kick off parent-teacher conferences. 255 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,125 We're not going to tell Abby this, right? 256 00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,604 No, of course not. 257 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,258 I know when to not tell people things. 258 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,565 I won't say anything, either. 259 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,700 Sorry, couldn't help but overhear. 260 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,223 Wolf ears. 261 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,753 Oops, you spilled. 262 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:53,625 You seem to be in a spilling mood tonight. 263 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,977 I needed that to take a pill. 264 00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,457 I thought you weren't going to get involved. 265 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,807 I had to say something. 266 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,765 Abby deserves to know the truth. 267 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:06,029 Oh, and what was that story you told, 268 00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,858 two adult strangers taking a Ferris wheel together? 269 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,078 Ooh-ooh, made you sound like a couple of creeps. 270 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,080 Creeps?! 271 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,952 I stole that from the back of a Danielle Steel novel. 272 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,519 I think you're underestimating your daughter. 273 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,956 She is stronger than you think. 274 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,218 So am I. 275 00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:22,785 You! 276 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,922 Everything alright? 277 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:31,185 Seem a little nervous around Gina. 278 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,621 I don't get nervous. 279 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,970 Besides, I hardly know the woman. 280 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,450 Oh, stop. 281 00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:39,019 I know all about you two and your secret past, 282 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,499 and unlike the drug-sniffing dog downstairs, 283 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,849 you can't get anything past me. 284 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,026 I don't have anything to hide. 285 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,028 If it was up to me, Abby would know all of it, 286 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,465 but her mother is against it for some reason. 287 00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,380 Oh, well, I think I know the reason. 288 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,077 Abby don't want to know that about her mama. 289 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,862 You should keep it to yourself. - You know something? 290 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,820 I wouldn't be in this position if Harry and Gina 291 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,561 had just told her the truth to begin with. 292 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,303 - Her dad knew? - Well, of course. 293 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,044 He was there the whole time. 294 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,786 You know, it was just a regular Tuesday night for us. 295 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,484 Ugh! Y'all are gross. 296 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,668 Hey, Earth angel. 297 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,497 Where's the sock hop? 298 00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:24,673 I've been approaching this all wrong. 299 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:27,632 Gina is a criminal. She's probably into bad boys. 300 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,895 So, I'm being bad. 301 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:32,855 Should I just sit where I was before? 302 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,684 I wouldn't know. Rules aren't my thing. 303 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:42,169 Next up, The People vs. Todd and Missy McMurray. 304 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,345 The McMurrays are charged with disturbing the peace 305 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:45,999 outside a bodega on St. Marks Place. 306 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:48,436 Your Honor, my clients were just involved 307 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,090 in a lovers' squabble, nothing serious. 308 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:53,441 Some words were exchanged. Some produce was thrown. 309 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,096 Nothing serious? It was attempted murder. 310 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,098 She threw garlic at me. 311 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,665 And it's attempted murder because? 312 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,537 They're vampires. 313 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,627 Vampire drama. 314 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,108 One square away from winning the money to pay for my dad's Lasik. 315 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,719 Does everyone around here 316 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,939 have an amazing relationship with their parents? 317 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,029 Your Honor, she started this. 318 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,421 Because I had the nerve to ask you 319 00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:18,945 where you were the other night? 320 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,121 I was looking for a virgin to surprise you 321 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,905 for our anniversary. 322 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,038 You think I wanted to go to a Barenaked Ladies 323 00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:27,083 reunion concert? 324 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,607 You never tell me anything, 325 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,566 like when I have food in my fangs. 326 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:34,264 I can't look in a mirror, Todd! 327 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,705 Bunch of weirdos around here. 328 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,490 I'm going to be honest. 329 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:45,275 I don't care about garlic or virgins. 330 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,408 But I am very excited to hear that the Barenaked Ladies 331 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,540 are back together. 332 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,107 At the end of the day, 333 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:54,632 you two found someone who accepts you for who you are. 334 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,113 That's special and worth fighting for. 335 00:14:57,113 --> 00:15:00,203 And since this is your first offense, the state is willing 336 00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:04,120 to drop the charges if you agree to couples counseling. 337 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,429 Before you say no, remember, you're only one "yes" away 338 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,083 from the rest of your life. 339 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,958 - I do still love you. - I love you, too. 340 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,833 Honey, that was beautiful. 341 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,184 It was like watching your dad up there. 342 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:28,405 I mean, you never actually saw him as a judge. 343 00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,016 About that. 344 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,759 Binga! 345 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,197 Criminal hugs judge! 346 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,025 I win! I win! 347 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,984 Criminal? 348 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,334 Hey, not me. Didn't say a word, nope. 349 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,075 Don't look at me. 350 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,469 I just thought she had the best sex of her life with Dan. 351 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,515 Why would you think that? 352 00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:52,995 I made it perfectly clear 353 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,693 I was just trying to get her in handcuffs. 354 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,131 Oh! Yeah, now I hear it. 355 00:15:58,131 --> 00:16:01,438 Mom, how could you-- Mom? 356 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,918 Alright. 357 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,964 Now that that's out in the open, Neil, 358 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,661 what the hell are you wearing? 359 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:19,891 Gina Brown operated an illegal high-stakes poker game 360 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,981 in Hell's Kitchen for over a year. 361 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,070 Who is this person? 362 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,376 My mom doesn't even watch the Super Bowl. 363 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:29,249 We're Puppy Bowl people. 364 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:32,730 Is this why no one ran against her for PTA president? 365 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:36,299 Or why she knew so many people on "Dateline"? 366 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,520 Feels like questions you should ask your mother. 367 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,697 Why, so she can just lie to me more? 368 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,177 You know, I'm not going to pretend to understand 369 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,309 why your parents kept this from you. 370 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:49,878 But, then again, there's a lot about Harry I didn't understand, 371 00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:53,795 like he would keep rabbits up his sleeve for hours 372 00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:56,450 just in case there was a chance of magic. 373 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,889 You give every defendant who comes in here 374 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:05,633 a chance to tell their sad, desperate side of the story. 375 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,896 Don't you think your mother deserves the same? 376 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,812 I mean, do whatever you want. 377 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,902 I am not going to get involved. 378 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,121 I wouldn't even know where to find her. 379 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,036 I told her to wait in the courtroom. 380 00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,214 Not involved, starting now. 381 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,089 Honey, can I explain? 382 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,134 First. 383 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,138 Do you swear to tell the truth, 384 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,140 the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? 385 00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,098 I do, Your Honor. 386 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:43,279 Gina Stone for the defense. You may proceed. 387 00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:44,933 Okay, first, 388 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:47,849 I just want to say your father wanted you to know. 389 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,417 But he respected that it was my story to tell. 390 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,463 Right. So, tell it. 391 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:56,945 It started with a little poker game at the Jiffy Lube 392 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,512 where my boyfriend worked. 393 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:04,344 We were riding high on cash and exhaust fumes. 394 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:09,610 But things got out of control, and I ended up here. 395 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:13,831 Your dad could've thrown the book at me. 396 00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:20,969 But he saw me the way I wanted to see myself. 397 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,277 He had a habit of doing that. 398 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,194 After I served my time, I-- I reached out. 399 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:31,327 Turns out I was on his mind, too. 400 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:36,202 He wasn't sure about the whole judge-dating-the-ex-con thing. 401 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,335 But I said, 402 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:42,817 "You're only one 'yes' away from the rest of your life." 403 00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,645 That was you? 404 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:48,170 We wanted a fresh start, 405 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,912 so we got married and moved upstate. 406 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:53,219 - So, no Ferris wheel? - Mnh-mnh. 407 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,959 Because I bought you, like, a thousand Ferris-wheel 408 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,222 Christmas ornaments. 409 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,877 Sorry, I should've told you. 410 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,010 But I was ashamed. 411 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,839 I know what that's like. 412 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,449 When I was struggling, 413 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,364 I did things that I wouldn't want to tell my kids about. 414 00:19:08,364 --> 00:19:10,366 When I have kids-- I don't have any secret kids. 415 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:13,195 But if I did, this would be the time to tell you. 416 00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:16,155 No, I thought I was the only screw-up in the family. 417 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,331 It's nice to know that my perfect mom 418 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,680 is as messed up as I am. 419 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,030 Oh! I'm a huge mess. 420 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,338 There is one other thing. 421 00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,951 Abby isn't short for Abigail. 422 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:32,258 Your real name is Abracadabra Stone. 423 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,958 I'm sorry. That one's on your father. 424 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,047 You know what? 425 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,267 I think I've always felt like an Abracadabra. 426 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,920 Order in the court! 427 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,271 Judge Abracadabra Stone presiding. 428 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,794 I love it. 429 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,232 Hey! 430 00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:56,107 Well, looks like it all worked out. 431 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:59,937 You guys made up, and nobody's mad at me for exposing 432 00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:03,158 for a decades-long family secret for my own profit. 433 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:09,251 So, um, what you got there? Couple hundred bucks? 434 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,731 Uh... 435 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,907 How would you like to double that? 436 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,130 See, this is why I don't come down here. 437 00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:23,134 Sorry you didn't transform. 438 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,353 Until tonight, I didn't even know 439 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:27,095 there was a glass ceiling in the wolf world. 440 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:29,228 But I was rooting for you to break it. 441 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,317 Thanks for seeing me, Gurgs. 442 00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,232 I'll do my best not to eat you tonight. 443 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,280 What's the matter, Neil? 444 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,762 Did you hit the jukebox, and it didn't come on? 445 00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:44,591 I blew it with Gina. 446 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,201 My streak is over. 447 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,942 Well, why you care so much about Gina? 448 00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:49,596 You got a crush on Gina! 449 00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:50,858 What? No. 450 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,599 You got a crush on me! 451 00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:53,991 If I had a crush on you, 452 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,515 I'd be trying to impress your mom. 453 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,126 You got a crush on Abby! 454 00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:01,303 Oh, no. 455 00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,783 I do. 456 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:05,438 You are so screwed. 457 00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:08,397 But that means my seventh sense was right. 458 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,312 There was a love connection in the courtroom. 459 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,401 Gurgs, you cannot tell her. 460 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,316 Well, I can keep a secret, but I can't speak for Pam. 461 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,976 Oh, you're good. She got her own stuff going on.