1 00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:02,959 ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,396 -Next up, the People v. Jessica Delgado 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,400 and Kaitlyn Komacki on a charge of disorderly conduct. 4 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,011 -Really? 5 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,882 Another disorderly conduct from the New York Wedding Expo? 6 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,797 They had WrestleMania in the same building, 7 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,755 and somehow, it was less violent. 8 00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:19,410 -These women both saw a dress they simply had to have, 9 00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:22,413 and instead of throwing rice, started throwing haymakers. 10 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,546 -Look, Your Honor, my -- my clients 11 00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:27,070 cannot be held responsible for their actions. 12 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:30,378 They were driven to madness by this dress. 13 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,988 I, for one, can understand. 14 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,860 I mean, look at this exquisite gown. 15 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:37,733 Ivory lace, hidden pockets, 16 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:41,737 a-a cut that is somehow both A-line and mermaid? 17 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,174 Come on. -I know how to solve this. 18 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:47,047 I'm gonna cut the dress in two, and each of you can have half. 19 00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,179 [ Shing! ] 20 00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,311 -Why would we do that? 21 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,703 -That would just ruin the dress. 22 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,532 -I was trying to do the Solomon thing. 23 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,186 From the Bible. 24 00:00:56,230 --> 00:01:00,103 It's like "Game of Thrones," but people like the ending more. 25 00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,975 -Why'd I even bother pulling this sword out of that stone? 26 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:06,979 -Alright, I'm gonna go with the biblical fine 27 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,156 of 30 pieces of silver, or $200 American. 28 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,201 And the dress needs to be returned to the expo. 29 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,898 -Little problem with that. 30 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,032 -Ah, hell yeah. 31 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,078 Winter is coming! 32 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:25,433 ♪♪ 33 00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:33,093 ♪♪ 34 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,746 -Weddings are the worst. 35 00:01:34,789 --> 00:01:36,705 Why should I have to take off work and fly to Chicago 36 00:01:36,747 --> 00:01:38,663 because you're getting a new roommate? 37 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,752 -Well, I'm not settling down anytime soon, 38 00:01:40,795 --> 00:01:44,234 but when I do, I want an intimate ceremony on a beach, 39 00:01:44,277 --> 00:01:46,149 reception on a hillside, 40 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,803 afterparty on a volcano. 41 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,283 -Good luck finding one place with all those terrains. 42 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:51,807 -Someone's never been to Guam. 43 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,809 That place is like hill, beach, hill, 44 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:57,378 beach, hill, hill, volcano, hill, beach. 45 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,206 -You know what the craziest thing is about weddings? 46 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,033 -The fact that you're having a fancy meal 47 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:04,385 with two people you know are definitely gonna have sex later? 48 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:07,518 -It's that no one's ever asked me to be their maid of honor. 49 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:09,564 People are always choosing their sister. 50 00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,001 That's nepotism. 51 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,829 It's even more annoying because I'd be great. 52 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,657 No one's more organized than me. 53 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,919 It takes me one visit 54 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,530 to memorize the layout of a Home Depot. 55 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:22,490 -I just saw a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk in. 56 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,013 It wasn't that funny. 57 00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,841 Maybe it only works when they're walking into a bar. 58 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,321 -We're talking weddings over here. 59 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,671 Any of these cases giving you ideas for yours? 60 00:02:29,714 --> 00:02:31,281 -Well, my wedding planning has kind of been on hold 61 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,716 since my dad passed away. 62 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,328 Rand and I just really haven't jumped back in. 63 00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,634 -Maybe you never will. Maybe you'll break up. 64 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:39,550 -What? -Nothing. 65 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:43,206 -I'd love to do some planning. I just haven't had the time. 66 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,252 I've been so busy, so I'm just letting Rand take the lead 67 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,167 on things I don't feel too strongly about. 68 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,560 -You feel strongly about which beans should be in the chili 69 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,867 on Chili Wednesdays. -Pinto. 70 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:55,218 Garbanzo beans should just stick to hummus. 71 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:56,611 -A wedding is the most special day of your life. 72 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:57,829 You should care about it 73 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,745 at least as much as you care about beans. 74 00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:03,226 -Dan Fielding loves weddings? 75 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,924 Oh, you are a big, mushy softy inside. 76 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,839 -Eh, it's not that big a surprise. 77 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,537 Look, a wedding is your one chance in life 78 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,234 to get everything you want. 79 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:14,324 Bakers bringing you an endless parade of cakes. 80 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:17,109 Tailors draping you in the finest fabrics. 81 00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:19,764 And the one opportunity to say what you want to be able to say 82 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,375 every other day -- 83 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,551 no children allowed. 84 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,511 -I mean, some of this New York wedding stuff is pretty cool. 85 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:28,643 Do you know you could get married 86 00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,079 at halftime at a Knicks game? 87 00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:33,082 At least someone then is leaving with a ring. 88 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,649 -Well, look, if time is the issue, 89 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,520 you could knock it out all tonight, 90 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,000 right here, without moving. 91 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,263 I mean, everything you need is in this building. 92 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,613 -Including the perfect person to help you plan it. 93 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,745 -Well, I don't know -- 94 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,182 -Me! [ Laughs ] 95 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,228 -You know I love the idea of all of us working together. 96 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,926 Hey, I'm getting what I want already. 97 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,797 Alright, let's do it. It'll be fun. 98 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:54,364 -Weddings aren't about fun. 99 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:58,412 They're about ruthlessly getting whatever you want. 100 00:03:58,454 --> 00:03:59,935 Which is fun. 101 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,154 It is about fun. You said that? 102 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,634 ♪♪ 103 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,376 ♪♪ 104 00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,943 -Olivia, what are we doing here? 105 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,727 Abby and I still have a lot of planning to do. 106 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,860 We have to pick the bride-bailiff dance. 107 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,383 It can be whatever you want, 108 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:17,952 but it will end in a "Dirty Dancing" lift. 109 00:04:17,995 --> 00:04:21,173 -Well, I thought we'd start with the most important thing. 110 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,611 Bring them in. 111 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:32,228 Do a 360, please. 112 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,578 -Okay, I don't really think this is the best -- 113 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,799 Ooh, I like the neckline on that one. 114 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,932 -Can we have number four step forward, please? 115 00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:43,239 -And can you demonstrate if the dress has enough give 116 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,675 to do the chicken dance? 117 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,288 Actually, could all of you, please? 118 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:56,426 -I know what this is about. You're not trying to help. 119 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,472 You're trying to prove you'd be a good maid of honor. 120 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,343 -I can do both at the same time. 121 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,910 It's called multi-tasking. 122 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,955 What? Yes, I'm still holding. 123 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,480 -As someone who's been a maid of honor five times 124 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,177 and a Best Gurgs twice, 125 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:11,572 I can tell you the job isn't about lists and dress line-ups. 126 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,008 It's about having fun, 127 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,705 and I've already cornered that market. 128 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,404 Two words -- penis gavel. 129 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:23,148 -Well, I guess we'll just see whose style works bet-- 130 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,935 No, Mom, I'm not sending you a picture of the penis gavel. 131 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,589 So, are any of these jumping out? 132 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:29,981 -I don't know. 133 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,288 I mean, they're all nice, but if I'm being honest, 134 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,898 I'm looking for something like that dress 135 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,509 that the women were fighting over. 136 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,683 -I can get that for you. 137 00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,120 -Well, I can it for you first. 138 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,731 -Oh, no, I didn't mean that you guys should -- 139 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,124 ♪♪ 140 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,300 -Who knew there were so many hairstyles? 141 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,607 In Skaneateles, we only had two -- 142 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,174 bangs and horse. 143 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,960 -I think you'd look good in any of these. 144 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,310 -Aw, Neil, that's so sweet. 145 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,270 -She values my opinion. 146 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,360 -She touched your arm. Act like you've been there. 147 00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:06,235 -That was quite the passionate dress defense you made earlier. 148 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:09,151 -Oh. I'm just a lawyer doing his best. 149 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,892 I would have been equally as passionate 150 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,415 had they been fighting over a spare tire. 151 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,505 "Oh, the flawless tread, the exquisite steel belting," 152 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:16,767 et cetera, et cetera, on and on. 153 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,769 -No, that description came from 154 00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,642 a man with elegance and taste. 155 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,686 -Oh. [ Chuckles ] 156 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,427 What are you selling? 157 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,733 -Ideas. 158 00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:27,561 Cynthia Davies, wedding planner. 159 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:28,910 Now, I see you're married, 160 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:31,608 but have you thought about a vow renewal? 161 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:33,523 -My wife died several years ago. 162 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,265 -Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 163 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,399 But, and I hope this isn't too forward, 164 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:43,098 but a trophy elk like you, you know, 165 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:46,014 it's only a matter of time before someone bags you, 166 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,103 and do you know what that lucky huntress 167 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,974 is going to make you into? 168 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,586 -Please don't say venison jerky. 169 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,457 -A husband. 170 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,807 And before you say no, 171 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,375 try one of these Belgian truffles. 172 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,423 It takes 14 monks to make one per day. 173 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,514 -I taste their silence. 174 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,255 -Next up, the People v. 175 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,127 Rich Morrison and Andrea Reynolds. 176 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,303 -The defendants were caught trying to sneak 177 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:16,436 into the Zimmet Art Museum after hours. 178 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,394 -Uh, Your Honor, my clients were merely giddy 179 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,917 over their wedding venue. 180 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:23,051 Haven't you ever been so excited that you put on a ski mask 181 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:27,534 and threw a celebratory brick through a window? 182 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,100 -We had to see the layout, Your Honor. 183 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:31,015 My Uncle Phil can't be near the Picassos. 184 00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,582 I don't need my wedding ruined 185 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,629 with his endless comments about chicks with three boobs. 186 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:36,933 -And it's beautiful. 187 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:39,371 Stained glass windows, vaulted ceilings, 188 00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:42,549 and they have bathroom waiters who serve you mints. 189 00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:45,377 -Your Honor, the venue canceled their wedding reservation. 190 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,945 Isn't that punishment enough? -What? 191 00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:51,775 It's booked solid for three years. 192 00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,342 If I can't have it, no one can. 193 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:56,127 I will burn that place to the ground! 194 00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,174 -Oh, my God! I love him. 195 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:02,307 -Aw. That's very sweet, but it's still a $100 fine. 196 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,700 Oh! Oh! 197 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,181 Neil, can I please have my family-friendly gavel? 198 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:11,186 -So, Kaitlyn's wedding dress wasn't in evidence, 199 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:13,493 which must mean you have it. 200 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:16,626 -Not only do I have it... 201 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,237 I don't have it. 202 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:21,370 Well, turns out she hid it before they caught her. 203 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:24,199 But I pivoted and called in some reinforcements. 204 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,506 -Next case, the People v. Jack Steele. 205 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,508 -Uh, am I missing a file on this? 206 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,639 -Don't worry, Your Honor. 207 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,772 It's nothing to lose your shirt over. 208 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,034 Or is it? Unh! 209 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,602 [ Hair metal music plays ] 210 00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:38,605 He's a stripper! 211 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:39,780 [ Laughs ] -Oh. 212 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,695 -Ooh. 213 00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,217 ♪♪ 214 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:44,828 [ Gavel bangs ] -Order! 215 00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,438 Gurgs, I appreciate the gesture. 216 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:49,267 This just isn't the time. -I agree, Your Honor. 217 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,487 Could we please clear the court of these distractions? 218 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,402 -Could you please show him the way? 219 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,796 ♪♪ 220 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,537 The way to do it! 221 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,714 Unh! 222 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,237 He's a stripper! 223 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,457 -Okay. Okay. Alright. Order! Order. 224 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:08,896 Anyone in the gallery that's a stripper, please go home. 225 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,379 ♪♪ 226 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:17,078 -Oh, these hors d'oeuvres are just stunning. 227 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:19,907 I mean, of course we'll need a vegan option. 228 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:23,301 An option for them to leave. 229 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,912 Alright, so these are better 230 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,349 before or after the champagne toast? 231 00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:28,829 -Oh. Why don't I get one of 232 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,571 my chilled bottles of Veuve and we'll find out? 233 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:35,313 -[ Chuckles ] 234 00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,707 What? 235 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,361 -Did you tell that woman you're planning a wedding 236 00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,363 just to get free stuff? -No, no, no, no. 237 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,191 I made my position perfectly clear. 238 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:46,324 She's just a motivated sales person. 239 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,239 And I am a motivated recipient of stuff 240 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,938 I don't have to pay for. 241 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,026 Jalapeño popper? 242 00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,463 -Mm. I'm good. 243 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,986 I could use some advice, though. -Hmm. 244 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,466 -I have some insider information, 245 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,555 and I'm not sure I should take advantage of it. 246 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,775 -Uh-huh. You want that open spot at the Zimmet Art Museum. 247 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,515 -So bad. 248 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,648 Growing up, sometimes, my dad would pull me out of school 249 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:08,477 to visit the city and take me to a museum. 250 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,174 He would, uh, pretend to be a tour guide 251 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,655 and just make stuff up. 252 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,962 One time, we had like 15 people join our tour. 253 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,528 -Mm. -We had to stop 254 00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:20,097 because the FBI thought we were planning an art heist. 255 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,533 Getting married in a place like that 256 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:24,536 would just make me feel like he's part of it. 257 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,017 -Personally, I don't see the appeal of art museums. 258 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,758 I mean, why should I be impressed with what people drew 259 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:32,327 while they were going crazy with syphilis? 260 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,111 Seems to me that you got the information 261 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,070 about the venue fair and square. 262 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,941 But hey, knock yourself out. 263 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,203 Not the poppers, though. 264 00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,465 They'll melt your face. 265 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,642 Just catching up with me now. 266 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,820 ♪♪ 267 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,605 -Cynthia? -Cynthia Davies. 268 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,346 I understand you're the person to talk to. 269 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,522 I'm interested in putting a deposit down for the Zimmet. 270 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,785 -Um, I'm sorry. There was briefly an opening, 271 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,309 but one of my clients literally just took it. 272 00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,094 -Oh. -But another date 273 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:02,705 did just open up in 2031. 274 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:06,013 It's a Wednesday afternoon, non-consecutive hours, 275 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:07,101 and... [ Cellphone chimes ] 276 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,844 Ooh, someone just booked it. 277 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,368 -Thanks, anyway. 278 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,631 -Did somebody order a sausage -- 279 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,677 -[ Clearing throat ] 280 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,593 ♪♪ 281 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,162 ♪♪ 282 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:28,688 -Oop. There's my taste bud. 283 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,820 -Cynthia, this has been lovely, but -- 284 00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:31,995 -Hold that thought. 285 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,432 First, I need you to try this cake. 286 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:38,262 It's made with the eggs of a hen who only eats caviar, 287 00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,787 laid by a fish who only eats hen. 288 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,658 -Oh. 289 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,400 Uh, no, I can't. 290 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,837 I can't keep taking your free stuff when I know 291 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,752 that you'll never be planning my wedding. 292 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,362 -Because you're going with someone else? 293 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:52,450 -No. 294 00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:53,887 -Is that bitch Lynn Fetterman here? 295 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,453 -No. Who? I don't even know -- 296 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:58,413 No, please. Please, calm down. 297 00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,937 I just know that I have no intention of ever 298 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,766 walking down the aisle again. 299 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,508 Yes, at my wedding, I did walk down the aisle, 300 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,205 but I didn't make a big show of it. 301 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:12,122 My tuxedo had a very tasteful train. 302 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,385 -You're gonna have another wedding. 303 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:16,910 -That kinda sounds like a threat. 304 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,520 -You're too good not to. 305 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,783 Your palette, your eye for color, 306 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,742 your knowledge of fragrance. 307 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,439 I'd kill for your nose. 308 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:26,310 -Okay, that's definitely a threat. 309 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,617 -Which is why I'm asking you. 310 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,184 Mm. -No, what are -- No. 311 00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:31,446 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? 312 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,622 -Dan Fielding, do you swear 313 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,451 to let me help you plan your next wedding? 314 00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:39,802 -If it gets you up off that disgusting floor, fine. 315 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,937 -This is the happiest day of my life. 316 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,503 -Oh -- 317 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:48,028 -Thank y'all. -Why are you applauding? 318 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,116 -You hear that, Lynn?! 319 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:50,117 He's mine! 320 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,335 ♪♪ 321 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,554 -Okay, here it is. 322 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:54,599 Now, go find it. Go find the dress. 323 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:55,818 [ Dog barks ] 324 00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,127 -Looking for this? 325 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,651 -That dog should be fired. 326 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,348 -While you were messing around with strippers, 327 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,176 I was putting Kaitlyn on the phone with my mother, 328 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:09,136 who made one comment about her perfectly regular ankles, 329 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,486 and now she's getting married in pants. 330 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,142 -Is that the missing wedding dress? 331 00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:18,058 I'm gonna need you to hand that over. 332 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,494 -Fine. 333 00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,757 -If it makes you feel better... 334 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,628 -Ow! He's a stripper! 335 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:25,500 [ Laughs ] 336 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:28,982 I'll meet you at the rendezvous point. 337 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,419 Now that'show you maid of honor. 338 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,859 -Aunt Reba, of course I want you there, 339 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,079 but the new venue doesn't allow flip-flops. 340 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:43,561 Oh, so now none of our Florida family is coming? 341 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:46,260 -Wedding troubles? -It's so stressful. 342 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,697 -My planning kinda hit a snag, too. 343 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,394 -At least you're not being forced to have your wedding 344 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,874 in some spooky art museum 345 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,269 that doesn't even have a wax Vin Diesel. 346 00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,271 -Wait, did you book the Zimmet? 347 00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,099 That's a venue I wanted. 348 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,362 -Well, apparently, everybody says it's the best, 349 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,930 so I had to push my wedding back six months. 350 00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,322 -Why? 351 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:06,933 Your wedding is supposed to be the one day 352 00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,848 you can get anything you want. 353 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,850 So, what do you want? Don't think about it. 354 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:11,894 Just say it. 355 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,157 -I just want to be married. -Okay. 356 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:15,767 Well, let's make that happen, alright? 357 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,509 Um, I can take the Zimmet off your hands, 358 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:21,512 and I can marry you, here, tonight. 359 00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:23,558 -You know what? I'm in. 360 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:27,301 Tonight, I finally become Mrs. Finkboner! 361 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,259 -Yes. You definitely should not wait 362 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:32,132 to get that name on some stationery. 363 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,961 ♪♪ 364 00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,876 -Why are you wearing a tux? 365 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,182 -It's a wedding. 366 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,749 I'm getting my money's worth. 367 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:44,274 A tux salesman talked me into buying three of these. 368 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,885 -Paying for stuff? 369 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,278 A sucker's game. 370 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,500 -Hey. Oh, nice tux. 371 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,936 That style would look good on Rand. 372 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,852 -Oh. Cool. Well, uh, I've got two more. 373 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,810 -Oh, thanks, but they wouldn't fit. 374 00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,857 He's got broader shoulders and bigger arms. 375 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,688 -Loving these Rand facts. 376 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,038 -Everyone, please be seated. -Oh, one second, Your Honor. 377 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,561 The father of the bride is supposed to be here, 378 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,085 but we can't get in touch with him. 379 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:15,436 -Oh. Well, you can't get married without her dad here. 380 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,745 -Dad? You made it. 381 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:23,792 Ooh. Oh. 382 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,664 I couldn't imagine doing this without you. 383 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:32,453 -Your Honor, we can get started. 384 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:35,456 -Um, sorry. I just need a minute. 385 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,418 -If I'd have been your maid of honor, 386 00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,116 this never would've happened. 387 00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,856 ♪♪ 388 00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:47,859 ♪♪ 389 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,252 -[ Crying ] 390 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,254 -As a person who's actually been a maid of honor, 391 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,647 I know what time it is. 392 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:55,911 It's cold feet speech time. 393 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,957 [ Clears throat ] 394 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,785 Abby, I know you're feeling stressed, 395 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,092 but this is supposed to be fun. 396 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,921 I know you can't see it, but I'm dancing out here. 397 00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:10,491 -Well, I don't know how I'm gonna follow that. 398 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:13,929 [ Clears throat ] 399 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,193 An estimated 20% of couples suffer from cold feet. 400 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:20,370 That's roughly 500,00 people. 401 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:23,460 I Googled runaway officiants, but all I got was the plot 402 00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:26,376 for an abandoned Kate Hudson movie. 403 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,030 -Huh. That's weird. 404 00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:32,513 Your boring list of numbers didn't seem to comfort her. 405 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,863 -Abby, I know that you're scared, 406 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:39,694 and it's normal to be nervous because you're -- you're -- 407 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:42,001 you're doing something you've never done before, 408 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:46,092 but just remember that you, um, love -- 409 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,703 -That couple. 410 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:52,185 You've known them your whole -- -Day. 411 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,795 And -- And if you don't do this, 412 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,276 you are gonna wake up tomorrow thinking -- 413 00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,017 -"What if..." 414 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:02,021 -"...you had married that couple?" 415 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:07,765 -You're right. 416 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:08,983 I'll go back to Glenn and Trish. 417 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,986 We've been a throuple for so long. 418 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,989 We make a great team, just like you. 419 00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:18,819 -Throuples, man. 420 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,561 Someone always ends up crying in the bathroom. 421 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,217 ♪♪ 422 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,132 [ Knock on door ] 423 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,655 -In case you were worried, 424 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:32,225 the Finkboners were married by a stripper/priest. 425 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:35,576 It was beautiful. 426 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,622 -I can't get everything I want. 427 00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:42,409 -Because your father isn't here. 428 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,413 -I think that the real reason I haven't wanted 429 00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,937 to jump back into wedding planning. 430 00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,462 He was just so involved in all of it. 431 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,769 He was gonna do magic. -Hmm. 432 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,032 -This thing where my finger would keep falling off 433 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,644 right before Rand put a ring on it. 434 00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,951 It was gonna be epic. 435 00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,301 -Well, you know, 436 00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:09,436 big moments make us really miss those who are gone. 437 00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:10,785 It's inevitable. 438 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,614 But you have to live your life. 439 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:18,097 And it's time you start a life with... 440 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,011 Again, Rand? 441 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:21,404 Rand? 442 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,928 I mean, it's almost like a name, 443 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,583 but not quite. 444 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,759 -Isn't your real name Reinhold? 445 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:34,504 -Uh-huh. Okay. 446 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,072 So you know stuff. 447 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,682 -But you're right. 448 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,077 That is what my dad would've wanted. 449 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,558 It's just hard to accept that he won't be there for it. 450 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:50,868 -Actually, I have an idea about that. 451 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,610 ♪♪ 452 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:55,786 -What is this? 453 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:59,138 -Well, Harry and I -- all of us, really -- 454 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,184 we spent so much time downstairs in that courthouse 455 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,882 that we would come up here for breaks, fresh air, 456 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:08,843 and talk down the occasional jumper. 457 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,759 I thought it might be a-a way to make you feel 458 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:16,024 like your father was part of your wedding. 459 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,809 I mean, plus, you can't beat the beautiful view that way. 460 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,246 Don't look that way. 461 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,422 Those people need to invest in some curtains. 462 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,293 Whoa. 463 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:25,816 -It's perfect. 464 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,818 Rand is gonna love it. 465 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,298 I mean, he is terrified of heights, 466 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,039 but it's time we work on that anyway. 467 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:34,608 I'm not giving up roller coasters for anyone. 468 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:36,305 -We helped too. 469 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:37,567 I did the twinkly lights. 470 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,178 And I brought up a leaf blower 471 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:43,225 and got rid of the pigeons that are no longer with us. 472 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,707 -Because we realized that we make a great team. 473 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,013 -And that's why we agreed that we'd be... 474 00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:52,016 your co-maids of honor. -Your co-maids of honor! 475 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,236 -Oh. Oh. I already have a maid of honor. 476 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,325 It's my friend Nicole from childhood. 477 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,240 She saved me from a well once. 478 00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,677 -Yeah, go with her. -Can't beat that. 479 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,204 Either way, we're sorry we couldn't get you the dress. 480 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:06,770 How was I supposed to know that stripper was 481 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,337 just gonna take off? 482 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,426 -Did someone say "take off"? 483 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,559 -Hey! She's a stripper! 484 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:17,172 -You were wearing that the whole time? 485 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,695 -I caught up with Officer Twerkman 486 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,175 and offered him some free legal advice 487 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,742 for his "Magic Mike"-style company. 488 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,309 He's got great drive. 489 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,920 He's ready to rip off those sleeves and get to work. 490 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,403 -Whoa. 491 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,839 Nice job, Dan. -Ha. 492 00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,232 -How'd you put this all together? 493 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,798 -It wasn't that hard. 494 00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:38,759 I just used a lot of free stuff from that wedding planner. 495 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,761 -What the hell is this? 496 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:45,156 -[ Chuckles ] 497 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,767 -You planned a wedding without me? 498 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:47,942 -No, no, no. Not exactly. 499 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,900 No, this is not a wedding. 500 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,598 -I'm Cynthia Davies. 501 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:54,122 I know a wedding when I see one. 502 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:56,690 You can expect a bill for all this. 503 00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:58,909 And by the way, 504 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:01,956 those truffles were made by a machine. 505 00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:08,528 -You're just saying that to hurt me. 506 00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:11,531 -Hey, look, y'all, it's the sad lady from the bathroom. 507 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:15,274 -And it looks like she is making up with her friends. 508 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:18,015 -I'm gonna order them some curtains. 509 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,974 -I told you not to look that way. 510 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,368 ♪♪