1 00:00:01,262 --> 00:00:02,524 -Previously on "Night Court"... 2 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:03,829 -I'm leaving to be a judge. 3 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,135 I've been offered a position back home 4 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:06,528 in Pearl River, Louisiana. 5 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,964 I leave next week. 6 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,618 -I'm just not used to having distractions from work. 7 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,011 -I'm a distraction? 8 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,621 -Elmer deserves his birthday party, 9 00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:13,796 and if you're not allowed in there, 10 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,276 then I got to bust him out. 11 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,495 Hey, Dan, any chance I can convince you 12 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:20,107 to come out of retirement? I've been arrested. 13 00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,545 -You're looking pretty good 14 00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:25,112 for somebody who spent a night in jail. 15 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,723 I see you already got a tattoo. 16 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:30,378 -It's temporary but somehow already super infected. 17 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:33,555 -Uh-huh. -This is so weird, Dan. 18 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:36,210 I've never been charged with a crime before. 19 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,515 -It's gonna be okay. 20 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,082 You were arrested for helping an old lady. 21 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,432 We're talking about, at worst, a fine. 22 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:44,131 -You're right, you're right. I have nothing to worry about. 23 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,524 -Oh, that scent. 24 00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,570 -What is that? Wet leather? 25 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,833 -No, it's Chuck Norris cologne. 26 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:53,923 It's called Walker, Texas Fragrance. 27 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:57,579 I only know one guy who still wears that crap. 28 00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:58,928 -Hello, Abby. 29 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,669 -Jeff Dewitt. -Jeff Dewitt. 30 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:02,149 -Eh, I just wanted to stop by 31 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,542 and make sure everybody's being charged correctly. 32 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:07,937 I think that our judges need to be held to a higher standard, 33 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,547 especially ones who are, 34 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:13,377 in legal parlance, stupid-faced jerks. 35 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,945 Oh, does felony breaking and entering sound about right? 36 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,555 Yeah. Judge Stone sucks! 37 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,515 Judge Stone sucks! Judge Stone sucks! 38 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,821 -Okay, this could be bad for us. 39 00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:25,085 -I don't mind that I'm the only one chanting. 40 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:33,005 -A felony, Dan? A felony? 41 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,268 Do you know what that means if I'm convicted? 42 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,791 I'd be a felon. 43 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:38,009 I mean, I could go to jail, be disbarred, 44 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,838 removed from the bench. 45 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:42,145 And all my stuff's up there. 46 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,015 -I'm not gonna let that happen, alright? 47 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,932 You know, sure, this is a jury trial in day court, 48 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,238 but, look, this star will shine 49 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:50,066 just as brightly as he does at night. 50 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,024 -I don't think stars shine during the day. 51 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:54,984 -Ever hear of the sun? 52 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,551 Now, come on. Let's talk strategy. 53 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:59,902 -Or the strategy is no strategy. 54 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,557 We're wild cards. Think about it. 55 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,734 If we don't know what we're doing, neither will they. 56 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,389 -Does he haveto be here? 57 00:02:08,431 --> 00:02:10,955 -I'm not leaving Abby's side during this scandal. 58 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,262 I'll be the good wife, 59 00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:14,395 like on the TV show, "The Good Wife." 60 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,919 -Now, as far as the actual case is concerned, 61 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,617 I think we can pin this on the real mastermind -- 62 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:21,402 Louise. -What? No, I can't do that. 63 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:22,794 Louise is my -- 64 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,796 -Uh, stranger. Right, "stranger"? 65 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,408 Is that the word you're looking for? 66 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,757 -I'm just saying that we could win this 67 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,498 without throwing someone under the bus. 68 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,108 -Nobody's talking about throwing anybody. 69 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,720 We just nudge her off the curb into the street, 70 00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:39,420 hopefully as a drowsy bus driver comes by. 71 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:40,899 -These charges are ridiculous, Dan. 72 00:02:40,942 --> 00:02:42,771 All we need to do is find some character witnesses 73 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,947 who can testify I'm not whatever terrible thing 74 00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,427 Jeff Dewitt makes me out to be. 75 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,776 -Fine, we will try it your way. 76 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,517 But until we're through this trial, 77 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,215 please resist your insane instinct 78 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:55,436 to care about other people, and focus on yourself. 79 00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:57,133 -Judge, I'm sorry. 80 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,569 You can't use these chambers while you're on trial. 81 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,267 -Oh, yeah, I didn't realize. That makes sense. 82 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,617 -Fine, I'll let you stay, but you got to break my arm 83 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,619 to make it look like I put up a fight. 84 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:06,229 -I'm not gonna do that. 85 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,578 -Is it 'cause you don't have a hammer? 86 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,450 'Cause I have a hammer. 87 00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,846 -See, the key is to say a bunch of first names, 88 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,674 then eventually the guy you're interrogating, 89 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:19,286 he's gonna slip up and say a last name, and you go, "Boom. 90 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,157 I never told you his last name." 91 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,464 There's your killer. -Help. 92 00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,814 -1965 Beatles album. 93 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:29,557 And it's pronounced "'elp." 94 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:30,906 -She's preparing for a trip to London, 95 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,429 so we're learning British stuff. 96 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,866 -Listen, I've got to get some work done, and, uh, 97 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,260 Rand keeps spouting nonsense he heard on "The Good Wife," 98 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,914 so I need you to watch him. 99 00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,394 -You mean [British accent] be his nanny for a tick 100 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:43,091 'cause he's giving you a spot of bother? 101 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,007 -Sure. 102 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:48,315 -I really admire how much prep you're giving this trip, Gurgs. 103 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,273 I'm thinking of making a big move myself. 104 00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,493 I realized, if I'm gonna be here for Abby, 105 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,495 I really have to be here. 106 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,758 I'm finally gonna become a full-time New Yorker. 107 00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,673 This place has it all. 108 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,501 Everyone's always yelling, and the yelling, 109 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,329 it's always so angry. 110 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:03,678 Even when people say, "Nice ass," 111 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,897 I'm not sure they mean it. 112 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:09,074 Drips from above, smells from below. 113 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,468 I can't wait to live here. 114 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:13,427 -He's got hisself in a right state, he has. 115 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,298 -[ British accent ] He's got himself 116 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,647 in a real jar of gherkins. 117 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,082 -[ Normal voice ] You sound ridiculous. 118 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,087 -Oh, Olivia, I'm glad you're still here. 119 00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,524 There's something I want to ask you. 120 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,177 -There's no time for that. I have a problem. 121 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,788 -Yeah, well, tough turnips 122 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,355 'cause I'm looking out for number one, and, nope, 123 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,661 I'm already wondering what your thing is. 124 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,881 -My boss, Jeff Dewitt, told me I'm gonna be fired 125 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,666 unless I join his prosecution team against you. 126 00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,451 And the only thing worse than working at night court 127 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,932 is getting fired from night court. 128 00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,673 I could end up like Kent, Abby. 129 00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,240 Kent. 130 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,199 -Olivia, you will never end up like Kent. 131 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,593 Who's Kent? 132 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,074 -Kent is currently living on an 80-foot yacht 133 00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,380 'cause he won the lottery, but before that, 134 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,991 he was in rough shape. 135 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,732 Point is, I don't know what to do. 136 00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,777 Either I prosecute my friend... -Aww. 137 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:03,259 -...ly colleague or I end up 138 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,436 just another jobless loser addicted to scratch-off tickets, 139 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:11,354 my fingertips stained with shame and weird silver dust. 140 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:15,010 They say it was the dust that killed Kent's wife. 141 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,533 -You have to do it. 142 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,187 If you ended up a widower on an 80-foot yacht, 143 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:21,451 I'd never forgive myself. 144 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,801 -Thanks for understanding. 145 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,063 What was it that you wanted to ask me? 146 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,674 -I was gonna ask 147 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,502 if you wanted to be a character witness for me. 148 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,331 -Me? As your character witness? 149 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,338 God, we're gonna destroy you. 150 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,214 -I need character witnesses. 151 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:47,912 People who know the me under the robe. 152 00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,914 That sounded bad. 153 00:05:49,957 --> 00:05:54,615 For the record, under the robe is just more clothes. 154 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,878 It's Louise. She looks so sad. 155 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,706 Aw, I know I'm supposed to be thinking of myself, 156 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:01,099 but I really want to go over there. 157 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,797 Stop me, Sandy. 158 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,326 Louise, what are you doing here? 159 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,459 -I'm about to meet with the D.A. 160 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,809 I think he wants to throw the book at me. 161 00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:17,159 I'm sorry to have dragged you into this. 162 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,552 -You have nothing to feel bad about. 163 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,032 The whole thing was basically my idea. 164 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:24,035 -Well, I do have one thing to feel bad about. 165 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,563 -You're wearing a wire? -Yes, she is. 166 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:36,178 You're a judge, tell me -- is a taped confession good? 167 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,616 Now, if you'll excuse me, 168 00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,401 I've got to get my clothes back from a janitor. 169 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:48,320 -So you confessed to a felony on a wire? 170 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:51,411 -Okay, I know it's not ideal, but look at the bright side. 171 00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,282 We get to work in my office again. 172 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:54,588 As long as we let the other judges 173 00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:57,634 use it as an executive gym. -Oh. 174 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,244 Sorry, Your Honor, you're gonna have to come back later. 175 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:01,159 There's been an outbreak of pinkeye. 176 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,770 Patient zero right there. 177 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,906 -Just once I'd like for you to be the one with pinkeye. 178 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,908 -Alright, tell me you've been lining up character witnesses. 179 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,649 -None so far. 180 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,869 Gurgs is gonna be in London, and Neil is volunteering 181 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,305 at Gabby's kids's baseball camp, 182 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:18,481 so he has to go to baseball camp first, 183 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,875 but he's been having a hard time finding an adult beginner's -- 184 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,617 -Stop telling me about Neil's life. 185 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,968 -But Olivia will be there in her capacity as prosecutor 186 00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,187 'cause I told her she should. 187 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,102 -So you've found zero character witnesses, 188 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,888 but you picked up a betrayal. 189 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,716 Alright, listen, we've got to stop messing around. 190 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,413 We got to put Louise on the stand, 191 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,197 and let me put her feet to the fire. 192 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,895 -We're not doing that. 193 00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:42,157 Besides, it won't work. 194 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,463 She's got peripheral neuropathy 195 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:46,248 and can't feel very much in her feet. 196 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,729 -I understand that you want to be a good person, 197 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,079 so let me be your bad person. 198 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:54,256 Jeff Dewitt is not gonna play nice, and neither can we. 199 00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:57,738 -Why can't we play nice? It's the only sport I'm good at. 200 00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,914 -Look, there's a man out there trying to ruin your life. 201 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,133 Would you please start acting like it? 202 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,918 -You know what? If representing me is so hard, 203 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,094 maybe you should just go to Louisiana right now. 204 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,530 -You know what? I would. 205 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:11,360 But I refuse to pay the change fee. 206 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,754 And don't you dare offer me your miles. 207 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,151 -Have you and Dan talked about, you know, 208 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,545 maybe taking a plea deal? -If I did that, 209 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,287 I could be suspended from the bench for at least a year. 210 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,637 -That wouldn't be so bad, right? 211 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,248 You could come back upstate, take some time off. 212 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,946 Pig races are coming up. 213 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,470 I think Dale Oinkhardt might go all the way. 214 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:40,911 But you don't want that, do you? 215 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,477 -I don't. 216 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,829 I love this job. I love it here. 217 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,136 -I'm not sure I do. -Yeah. 218 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:50,790 I guess the signs have been there. 219 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,357 Like when you yelled, "You're a liar," 220 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,794 at that Times Square Ninja Turtle. 221 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,491 -Michelangelo's a party dude. 222 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,494 He doesn't eat salad. -I know. 223 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:03,151 Now everyone within a block of the M&M store knows, too. 224 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,369 -New York scares the hell out of me, 225 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,633 but somehow you're at home here. 226 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,243 Guess we've been growing 227 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,114 in different directions for a while now. 228 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:13,291 -Yeah, I guess we have. 229 00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:17,948 So what do we do now? 230 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,036 -I don't want to say it out loud. 231 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,516 -Me neither. 232 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,562 -Maybe say it at the same time? -Okay. 233 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,215 -One, two, three. -One, two, three. 234 00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:27,088 -Break up. -Time machine. 235 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:31,527 I knew it was break up, but I didn't want to say it. 236 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,050 -You're gonna make a great Good Wife 237 00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,270 to someone one day, Rand. 238 00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:39,491 Here. 239 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:42,756 I guess you should have that back. 240 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,453 -I want you to keep it. 241 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:47,935 -Aww. 242 00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,371 -Actually, I should take it back. 243 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,677 My grandma was pretty pissed 244 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,200 when I took it in the first place. 245 00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,556 -You're looking pretty nervous, Fieldling. 246 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,906 Fielding. Said your name wrong on purpose. 247 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,342 Ya burnt. 248 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,170 -Sorry about the divorce. 249 00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,781 I heard you're sleeping in your car. 250 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,130 -Well, you heard wrong. 251 00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:11,872 It's my mother's car. 252 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,874 -Hello, Dan. You're looking well. 253 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:17,791 -Probably 'cause I slept in a bed last night. 254 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,054 Okay, look, I know that we do not agree on strategy, 255 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,577 but the one thing we do agree on 256 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,535 is that you should not be penalized for this. 257 00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:25,102 -Well, I don't know. 258 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,495 I think there should be some repercussions. 259 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,932 -Can you ever turn it off? 260 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,587 -You're right. We're in this together. 261 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,242 And it's not just the two of us. I found a character witness. 262 00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:35,635 -So, Rand? 263 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,724 -No, I actually broke up with Rand. 264 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,987 -Of course you did. 265 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:43,338 He was just about to become useful. 266 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,775 -I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. 267 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,344 No, it's another witness and someone who's at night court 268 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,738 almost as much as I am. 269 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:52,739 -Don't worry, Tabby. 270 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:56,394 I got this. 271 00:10:56,438 --> 00:11:00,181 In summation, I can't be with a man who thinks a squid 272 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,400 would beat a horse in a fight. 273 00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:04,098 Defense rests. 274 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:07,754 -Thank you. No further questions. 275 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,583 -The prosecution is okay. 276 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,716 -Does the defense have any more witnesses? 277 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,762 -Let me call Louise back to the stand. 278 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,546 Come on, Abby. 279 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,679 I'm a shark and she's chum. 280 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,768 Not your kind of chum. Not like friend. 281 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,726 I'm talking about a bucket of meat chunks 282 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,381 that this great white is gonna go to town on. 283 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,731 I mean, I don't see any other way. 284 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,385 -Did somebody say "witnesses"? 285 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:34,302 -Not for a while, but sure. -Yes! 286 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,696 My sports team just did a thing that I like. 287 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:40,134 -What are you guys doing here? 288 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,440 -I know you didn't ask us to come, but Rand did. 289 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,312 We weren't gonna let you go through this alone. 290 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:45,792 -You know it's been my dream to assemble 291 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,142 a ragtag crew of misfits to save the day. 292 00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,665 I'm calling us the Little Rand-scals. 293 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,929 No one likes it. 294 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,844 -So I'm gonna be a little late to my program in London, 295 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,499 and we all know Neil's never gonna coach baseball. 296 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,153 -8-year-olds didn't like me when I was 8, 297 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,895 and they don't like me now. 298 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:05,637 -You helped all these people, now let us help you. 299 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,161 Not bad, right? 300 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:08,466 Dad? -What? 301 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:11,295 -What? 302 00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,993 -So you're saying that Judge Stone 303 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:15,212 was the first person to acknowledge your condition? 304 00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:17,519 And for the record, what is that condition? 305 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,261 -I'm a female werewolf. 306 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,785 Otherwise known as a wiff-wolf. 307 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,440 Judge Stone met me with such kindness. 308 00:12:25,483 --> 00:12:28,617 She even bought my e-book on wiff-wolf inequality -- 309 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,402 "Same Bites Less Rights." 310 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,187 -Abby's such a sweet kid. 311 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,972 She had a pretty big crush on me for a while. 312 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,019 -Permission to treat this witness as delusional? 313 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,629 -And when I got hit by lightning 314 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:44,372 this most recent time, my first call was to Abby. 315 00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:48,115 The odd thing was I didn't have a cellphone on me at the time. 316 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,465 Oh, excuse me. I need to take this. 317 00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:53,250 Yes, I have time for a short survey. 318 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:59,604 -Judge Stone didn't just listen to me, she truly heard me. 319 00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,258 -[Whispers] Who's this guy again? 320 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,567 -Abby's the best person I know. 321 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,396 She's been through a lot, and she always puts people first. 322 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:11,181 -This from a man she just dumped. 323 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,792 -It was mutual! 324 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:19,059 -I've always loved my job, but ever since Judge Stone 325 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:23,019 joined our court, it feels more like family. 326 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:27,589 The good, Partridge kind, not the bad, Manson-y kind. 327 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:29,286 -Well, thank you, Ms. Gurganous. 328 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,593 Your witness. 329 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,334 -Alright, you know her weaknesses. 330 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,597 Get up there and destroy her. -What? 331 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,077 Jeff, I don't want to do that. 332 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,906 -And I don't want to shave in an Arby's. 333 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,864 But if you want to keep your job, you will go up there 334 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,605 and win this case for me. 335 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,482 -Ms. Gurganous, I, um... 336 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,792 ...completely agree with you. 337 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,098 Abby showed me that my whole life 338 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,143 doesn't have to be about my career. 339 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,754 She's ruined me, like that town ruined the Grinch. 340 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,195 She's not just my friendly colleague. 341 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,284 She's my friend. 342 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:15,376 Which is why, even though it might cost me my job, 343 00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,857 I recuse myself! 344 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,162 Hmm. 345 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,209 Thought there'd be a surprised gasp. 346 00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:23,601 -Well, you did sort of telegraph 347 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,952 where you were going with that. 348 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,388 -Oh, and, Jeff, 349 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:30,434 I had your home/mom's car towed, so ya burnt. 350 00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,875 -Olivia, I can't believe you did that for me. 351 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,485 -Well, to be clear, I'd still sell you out 352 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,878 in a second for a private-sector job, 353 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:42,838 so you don't have to, like, do that. 354 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,668 -This sick, demented monster 355 00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:50,063 confessed to ripping an old man out of his bed. 356 00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,892 We have got to take this threat off the streets 357 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,807 and out of the courtroom. 358 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:57,635 Ow. 359 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,900 And that is how you do it. 360 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,687 -Okay, uh, you will not agree with everything 361 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,515 I am going to say up there, 362 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:10,997 but just know that I'm doing what is best for my client. 363 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,824 -I trust you. 364 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:15,044 It's why I brought you back here. 365 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:19,005 You're the best lawyer I know, the best lawyer my dad knew. 366 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,491 -Oh, man. 367 00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:28,884 You know what, guys? 368 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,538 I was gonna get up here, 369 00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:33,845 and I was gonna try and make someone else look bad 370 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:37,110 in order to make my client look good. 371 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,894 But after hearing all this testimony, 372 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,028 I don't have to do anything to show you that 373 00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:45,901 Abby Stone is a good person. 374 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,773 Six months ago, she showed up at my doorstep, and I figured 375 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,210 I was pretty much done with people, 376 00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:53,822 but she saw -- she saw something else. 377 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:57,913 She saw a man who was stuck 378 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,873 and not even knowing but yearning for a change. 379 00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,484 And I thought I was fine, 380 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,965 even with all the neighborhood teenage kids 381 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,706 calling me Sweatpants Santa. 382 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,578 That's what she does. 383 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:14,495 She sees things in people that they don't see in themselves. 384 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,758 You know, that's all I want you to do. 385 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,587 I want you to see what she sees every night 386 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,284 sitting on the bench. 387 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,548 Look beyond the...crime 388 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,550 to see the remarkable, 389 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:31,816 selfless person that she is just underneath. 390 00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,516 -He's right. 391 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,997 Judge Stone is a good person. 392 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,868 That man blackmailed me. 393 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:40,912 [ All gasp ] 394 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:43,959 -Oh, now you gasp? 395 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,179 -He threatened to have my residence 396 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,703 take the television out of my room. 397 00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:51,532 I will not go back to reading. 398 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,187 Not for him, not for anyone. 399 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,451 -Order! 400 00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,409 Given the prosecutorial misconduct 401 00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,063 I'm just learning about, 402 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,587 I dismiss this case with prejudice. 403 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,809 -We did it. -Aw, you know what, though? 404 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:09,289 I can't believe you wanted me to attack 405 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,204 that sweet woman's character. 406 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,646 -Mm, looks like somebody got their office back. 407 00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,300 Oh, you might want to spray it down, though, 408 00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,388 'cause I heard somebody had, uh, pinkeye. 409 00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,262 What's the matter? You should be celebrating. 410 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,698 You won. 411 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,483 -No, I'm so happy about that, of course. 412 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,398 I just, um... 413 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,269 Never mind. -I get it. 414 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:36,664 Us Brits keep our feelings bottled up, too. 415 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,318 But I hear it's not healthy. 416 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:41,277 So you want to talk about it? 417 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,671 -There's nothing to talk about. 418 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,717 -Okay. You sat down with me. 419 00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:48,023 -I mean, this should -- 420 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,720 may be the highlight of my career. 421 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:53,202 I mean, I got a woman who confessed to a crime exonerated. 422 00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:56,162 I bested a man who fancies himself my nemesis. 423 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,468 And I'm about to head back to a judgeship 424 00:17:58,512 --> 00:17:59,817 in my home state of Louisiana. 425 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,515 I should be thrilled. 426 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,994 -But I'm not. 427 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,474 I've been working on this card for Dan, 428 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,128 trying to thank him for always being there, 429 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,957 and this is all I have so far. 430 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,353 I'm just worried this message comes off a little bit... 431 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,398 -Selfish? 432 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:18,227 -I'm not being selfish. 433 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,620 This is what I've always wanted. 434 00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,361 I'm not abandoning her. 435 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,885 I mean, she knew I wasn't gonna stay around here forever. 436 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:27,106 -Just really liked having him around. 437 00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:30,152 Can I really ask him to stay? -I guess I just didn't think 438 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:33,677 it would be this difficult to leave. 439 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:36,811 -Then why are you? -No one's asked me to stay. 440 00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,076 -So am I supposed to -- -Oh, in what world? 441 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,517 Good to see you up there again. -Feels good. 442 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,693 So are you, um... -Yep. 443 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,391 Plane leaves in about three hours. 444 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,002 Just wanted to come back in here and shake my fist 445 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:55,612 at these walls one more time. 446 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:58,659 You know, I said -- -Listen, I just wanted to say -- 447 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,400 Sorry. Go ahead. -No. No, no. 448 00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:02,228 Please. You go. 449 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:05,753 -You know, I've recently been wondering why I immediately felt 450 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:10,453 so at home here, and it's because of you. 451 00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:16,851 I feel like I'd regret it if I didn't say thank you. 452 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,247 And I got you something. 453 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,904 -Oh, Abby. 454 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,645 Thank you. 455 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,518 For everything. 456 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:34,564 But, come on, no card? 457 00:19:41,528 --> 00:19:42,659 I'll be seeing you. 458 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,273 -Uh, Dan, wait. There's one more thing. 459 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:53,104 They really call you Sweatpants Santa? 460 00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:54,497 -Yeah. 461 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,934 Also, Hobo Moses. 462 00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,637 -All rise. 463 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,335 Manhattan Criminal Court Part Two is now in session. 464 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:11,601 The honorable and exonerated Judge Abby Stone presiding. 465 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:15,214 -And I also kept my job. 466 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,346 -Welcome home, Your Honor. 467 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,653 I got new folders for your first night back. 468 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,307 No bloodstains. 469 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,961 -Thank you, Neil. 470 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,833 Well, it's time for the big show. 471 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,052 I hope you all like guys who bathe in hot-dog water 472 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:31,621 because tonight we got two. 473 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,144 -Is it weird that I miss Dan? 474 00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:36,147 Having to stare over there at his empty seat. 475 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:39,020 -No offense, sir. 476 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,587 I miss him, too. 477 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,329 I just hope he's making friends down there. 478 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:47,202 -Another fight at a bachelorette party 479 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,857 in the French Quarter. 480 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,990 Okay, bailiff, bring in this bride-to-be. 481 00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,910 Roz? 482 00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,875 -Fielding? 483 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,746 They made youa judge? 484 00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:14,447 Take me back to jail. -Well, I... 485 00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:18,451 She loves me.