-Fred Hilderman is charged with operating
an illegal vehicle down the West Side Highway.
-Your Honor, the defendant was caught driving this to work
in an attempt to make his morning commute "radical."
-We ask for leniency, as this vehicle
is far less annoying than those Bird scooters.
-Surprised you feel that way.
You love watching people fall off things.
As for you, $200 fine and traffic school.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
[ Air hissing ]
-Wait. You don't have any horrible diseases, do you?
-Too old. Too small.
Oh! Those bushes are out of control.
-What dating app are youon?
-I'm looking at real-estate listings.
I've only found one place above 63rd in my price range.
It was a middle bunk in a hostel,
and I lost it to a Saudi prince.
-Today just keeps getting better.
I rescued a cab from an old man trying to wave it down.
Then I heard a barista say, "Deb."
I thought, "Close enough." Free coffee!
Now I find out you can't afford an apartment near mine?
Nothing can ruin this day.
-Uh, Dan, your clients
in the next case wanted to talk to you.
-Mr. Fielding! We meet again.
-If I don't turn around...
are they really there?
[ Grumbles loudly ]
Bob and June Wheeler.
[ Thunder crashes ]
-What the hell? It's not even raining.
-The Wheelers! My dad told me all about them.
They're the two unluckiest people
to ever step foot in this courtroom.
And that includes the guy who drove a truck full of black cats
through the world's largest mirror.
-Unlucky? Really? Pbht.
What a bunch of superstitious bull--
[ Thunder crashes ]
-Okay. That was insidethunder.
[ Thunder sheet rattling ]
-Check out this evidence for the next case!
The cops busted a black-market sound-effects ring.
[ Tires screech, goat bleats ]
[ Boing, gun fires, whistle ]
It's gonna be a fun night.
-Well, after 30 years,
this place hasn't changed one bit.
Judge Stone. You look the same.
-I am really excited to meet you.
I know you guys look like the Great Depression,
but you make me so happy.
-The charge is animal hoarding.
-It all started when our Great-Grandma Wheeler
recently died.
-I'm sorry.
Your great-grandmother recently died?
-Yes.
Our badgrandma is still with us.
-As someone who has heard your stories before,
could we skip the next, I don't know, three calamities
and get to the point?!
-Granny left us a Manhattan townhouse,
a charming two-bed, two-bath,
and haunted as the day is long.
-Those poor ghosts.
-Luckily, we knew how to get rid of them suckers.
Sacrifice a sheep.
-But when we got the sheep, we fell in love with him.
-It was just friend love.
We couldn't kill him. So we got another sheep.
And then we fell in love with that sheep, too.
-That happened another 74 times.
-At least we thinkit was 74.
Every time we try counting them, we fall asleep.
-Can a lawyerplead insanity?
-Your Honor, for what it's worth, the home
was actually certified haunted by...
"Jovan the Psychic." [jo-van]
-Shut the front door!
Jovan [jo-vaun] is the most respected psychic in New York!
It takes four years to book a session with her!
Unless you're dead. Then she's got all the time in the world.
-Objection! The law does not recognize the paranormal.
-And these two definitely aren't a "pair of normal."
-$500 fine. And get those sheep to a farm.
Just don't count and drive.
[Excitedly] I can't believe I saw the Wheelers!
-[Angrily] Can't believe I saw the Wheelers.
-Hey, Wyatt, whenever you get a chance,
could you get me their contact information?
-I thought you stopped sending edible arrangements
to everyone you convict after that study showed
it led to a rise in crime.
-Violence is down since I switched to cookie cakes.
I want to ask the Wheelers to put me in touch with Jovan.
-Their psychic? Oh, come on.
You don't believe in all that nonsense.
-I think there's a lot that can't be explained --
ghosts, psychics...
how Diane Lane is still a smokeshow.
-There are secret stores for rich people.
How many times do I have to tell you that?
-I'm with the judge on this.
Diane Lane? Mwah!
And also the universe is full of mysteries.
It's not all black-and-white.
-Yeah, like people can be green or red.
-If she starts saying crazy stuff, I take back my support.
-It's called synesthesia.
Whenever I meet someone, I see them as a color.
Like Gurgs is a Green, and you two are Reds.
-Red? Seems, uh, not great.
No offense. -None listened.
-The colors don't mean anything. They're totally random.
Like, Gandhi is a Green, and Stalin is a Red.
-Gandhi and Stalin don't seem random!
-You know, I knew your father believed in all this hocus pocus,
but I was kind of hoping it skipped the generation.
-My dad was into magic tricks,
but he didn't believe in anything supernatural.
Debating it turned into a little hobby for us.
Some kids go with their parents to baseball games
and argue "Mets versus Yankees."
My dad and I would go to haunted houses and psychics
and argue "real versus grift."
We're actually stilldebating it.
-Still?
-Before he died, we made a deal.
If I could find a psychic who would repeat the secret phrase
that only my dad and I knew,
it would prove there really was more out there.
-Yeah, well, I got to say, I like the idea
of family arguments going into eternity.
What I would give to yell in Mom's face just one more time.
-So far, no psychic has gotten it right.
And, believe me, I've tried.
But Jovan is supposed to be the best.
And I think the Wheelers are my way in.
-Oh, the Wheelers are your way into only two things --
a Ponzi scheme or a building that's about to collapse...
during a sheep orgy.
-Hey, has the judge done that thing where she tells you --
-I'm a Green. Olivia's a Red.
-So I'm a Dan, a Stalin, and an Olivia?
-It doesn't mean anything. -Of course you'dsay that.
You're the good one.
-Maybe there issomething to it.
I'm a cursed Red!
And that's why I can't find an apartment
that I don't have to share with the cats who legally own it.
-How dare you joke about curses when you know
I was given one by an ex-boyfriend
who is also a practicing witch.
-Gurgs, we've been over this. You are not cursed.
-Then how do you explain that every time I'm in line,
it's the bad one?
Airport security. Grocery store.
Remember that log-flume explosion?
Two hours to make it to the front, then, boom, no flume.
-Any luck getting in touch with the Wheelers?
-Not really.
On their intake form, under "phone number,"
they wrote "Big fire."
And their e-mail address is
Wheelers3@russian-scam.scam.
-Gotta figure out a way to smoke 'em out.
What if I get some glasses,
dust off my German accent, and post an ad as...
[German accent] Dr. Glossheimer, a grief therapist
for people who lost zheir fluffy white sheep?
-Good idea. Now...
try it withthe accent.
-[German accent] Or you could just look over zair.
-Do you sell bird repellent?
When we left the courthouse,
we were descended upon by a vengeful murder of crows.
-They flew us several blocks
before we successfully broke free.
-I hope my robe doesn't make me look too much like a crow.
-Aah! -Oh, no! Not again!
-You found us guilty,
so I'm afraid we can't help you with Jovan [jo-van].
-Like the crow, Bob is quite vengeful.
-Also like the crow,
I've got the problem-solving skills of a third grader.
-I really need to talk to her,
and I'm willing to do whatever it takes...
although I'd like to keep my organs.
-Any wiggle room on the kidneys?
-It's just that they're really in there.
-You could babysit our little Carol Ann for a few days
while we relocate our sheep.
-Sure. In high school, I was the most popular babysitter
in Skaneateles...
after that show-off St. Bernard who could dial 911!
-Carol Ann! Get in here!
-That is more baby than I'm used to sitting.
-So, did she say she'd give me a kidney?
-She ain't sick. She just likes playing with 'em.
-Ho! Your Honor.
How did you get to work? Did you roll here?
-It was kind of a rough day.
Babysitting in Manhattan is way different than upstate.
This entire city is one big, sharp object.
-What were you babysitting? A wolverine?
-Judge Stone, I know you said to stay in your chambers,
but I'm gonna head back to the subway track
and see if I can reach that nickel!
-Please not again! Just go sit in the gallery.
Here. Here's a twenty. That's like a thousand nickels!
-Paper money?!
I feel like a Kennedy!
-That's a Wheeler.
Why do you have one?
You need to get as far away from those people as possible!
-You say that about everyone.
-True, but even your father would say
that they are a magnet for disaster!
-Achoo!
-In most workplaces, when the ceiling falls down,
we'd leave, but here...
first up!
-Oh! We're sorry to interrupt,
but, um, we have to get married right now.
-She's my good-luck charm. I'm going up into space tomorrow,
so I need all the luck I can get.
-Aww. Don't you just wanna hug 'em?!
-[Southern accent] Carol Ann, you best be fixing to sit on those hands!
-You can use my rings. They've always brought me luck!
-Carol Ann, put the rings back on your feet...
your feet back in those shoes...
and pay them no never mind.
-Uh, She pronounces you man and wife. Good luck in space! Go!
-[Normal voice] Enjoy your honeymoon!
-Oh, just...
-Thirty-four...
thirty...five...
-Hey, Gurgs. Do you have a minute?
-I have exactly "one sock in change" amount of time.
-Now, I know everyone says the colors don't matter,
but I've asked around and haven't found one decent Red.
We've got the Crotch-Watcher and the Bathroom Cryer.
Not the one who actually cries, but the one who runs in
with the bell and shouts news.
-If it makes you feel any better, I remember
Abby saying that she's a Red, and she seems nice.
-[ Hisses ]
-I forgot about the hissing.
-Aw, dang! I lost count!
I'll just start over.
One...two...
-She's a Red, isn't she? -Big-time.
-Three...four...
-I'm going to assume that you're ringing out a jacket
for totally normal reasons.
-Carol Ann jumped into a fountain
because she thought it was "money soup."
There's got to be a better way to get Jovan.
-Or maybe she'llget you.
-Jovan is here? This is a crazy coincidence.
Unless forces that we can't understand
made this happen.
-I made it happen.
I did a favor for the Wheelers, and they helped you
jump the line with this... Fleetwood Mac B-side.
I just helped them find a sucker to buy their haunted brownstone.
-Guess who's a homeowner!
-You just made a terrible investment.
-[Hushed] Maybe she isgood.
-I want you to relax.
Free your mind and let the spirit in.
Focus on the silence and be at --
-Achoo!
I'm just allergic to whatever kind of nuts you two are.
-Are you sure you want him here for this?
-Oh, yeah. Pull at all the threads you want, Dan.
You're about to see Jovan push through the thin veil
that separates our world from the next.
-You know, it's not really a veil.
It's more like those things at the car wash that kind of go...
And then the spirit is more like
that inflatable guy outside the car wash that goes...
-See, Dan? She's putting this in earthly terms
that we can understand.
-You don't own a car!
Alright. If you're the real deal, tell me this.
Who's gonna win the Bulls-Knicks game tonight?
-The spirit tells me fortune favors the bovine!
-The Bulls. [Chuckles] They're down by 9 with 10 seconds left!
They couldn't win if they were playing
with three balls and a jetpack!
-Jovan, you've seen the future. Does he ever shut up?
-It's okay, Abby. I'm used to being dowb-ted.
That's right -- I pronounce the "B" in "doubt."
The silent letters speak "throog-uh" me.
-"Faskinating."
-I sense that you're searching --
not for answers,
but for a message... from your father.
-Hear that, Dan? She knows about the secret message.
-He wants to tell you that you --
-Heeey! I'm sorry to interrupt.
Just, uh, had a quick question for your spooky friend.
-Olivia, Jovan's a very busy psychic.
Oh, sorry. Uh... "Puh-sy-chick"?
Am I doing that right? -No.
-It'll only take a minute.
I just purchased a house that you certified haunted,
and I'm just wondering, like, how haunted is it?
Are we talking the walls bleed
or twin girls standing in the hallway?
'Cause I got no patience for kids.
-Not the time. So where were we? -She was just getting ready
to make up something about your father.
-Ah, yes. The message. It's becoming clearer!
-Oh! Good. Y'all are just hanging out.
I got a quick question for Jovan.
Is it Jo-vaun or Jo-van? Oh! No! That's not my question!
Undo! Undo!
-Gurgs, you're gonna have to wait.
-Waiting is exactly the problem.
I'm cursed, and I'm willing to try anything to get rid of it.
Uh, mugwort, mantras, molly.
I don't think that last one's gonna work,
but it'll make standing in line a lot more fun!
[ Chuckles ]
-I'm gonna close the doors. -[ Grunts ]
Make me a Green! -Cannot be done.
You're a Red. You're gonna die a Red.
-Alright. Everybody, just shut up!
W-We have to listen to what Jovan has to say!
-Thank you, Dan. Wait. Why?
-She was right! The Bulls came back and won!
Oh, she is the real deal.
Great mystic, I apologize for ever doubting you.
Please, please tell us the mysteries of the universe --
specifically should I bet on the Lakers or the Warriors?
-Enough!
Abby, your father is here,
and he does have a message.
He wants you to know
that he is so very proud of you...
and that nothing makes him happier
than seeing you in his chair.
[ Inhales deeply ]
And now his presence has left us.
-I can't believe it.
I've been searching and searching,
and now I finally know.
You're completely full of [bleep]!
-What?! -That wasn't the message!
-Wait! I'm getting another message.
It's kind of fuzzy, but I think he wants us
to say it at the same time.
-Beat it, phony! -Beat it, Froggy!
I'm also getting a message from your mother.
-She's still alive!
-Well, she just wants her casserole dish back!
-[ Knocking ] -You here to gloat?
-Well, you do know how I like being right...
but this is one time I was hoping I was wrong.
-That makes two of us. -Hm.
You know, Jovan may have been a fraud,
but all this talk about Harry over the last few days
made it feel like he was here.
I like that.
-I really felt that, too.
Truth is, I -- I know I don't need a psychic
to feel close to him.
I see him in everything.
Whenever I watch an old noir movie
or listen to Mel Tormé...
bang that gavel...
...he's right there.
But, still, I -- I can't help wanting more time.
I thought if a psychic could give me
one more tick of the clock, just one more second...
...I wanted it.
Maybe that's just not gonna happen.
-Well, you know, I-I don't know.
Seen some pretty crazy stuff just in this courthouse.
You know, once, a ventriloquist dummy
killed itself by jumping out that window.
So who knows -- maybe somebody out there
knows your little code.
So...what the hell? Keep searching.
I mean, just go grab
every Ouija-wielding whack job in town
until you find it.
-You don't think that's crazy?
-Oh, no. It's certifiably insane.
-[ Both laugh ] -But you know what?
Sometimes you've got to bet against the house
even when you know the game is rigged.
-Where did -- Where did you hear that?
-I don't know. I think it's the first time
I've ever put that combination of words together.
-That was the message.
-What?!
What, are you saying that I'm Harry's vessel?!
Fine. Fine. I'm a vessel.
I mean, you know him. Always has to have the last word.
[ Both chuckle ]
[ Dan sighs ]
-Thank you for the extra time, Dan.
-Hm.
[ Dan sighs ]
Hm...
Just -- Ugh. Alright. Fine, fine, fine, fine.
[ Dan sniffles ]
-Raven, thank you so much for coming.
I really need you to lift this curse.
-I thought we were getting back together.
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm saving up all my magic
to dunk a basketball.
Let's go, Darryl!
-Gurgs, I may not be able to change the fact that I'm a Red,
but I can change what it means to bea Red.
Hold this onion. -Why am I holding this onion?
-Because I figured out how to get rid of your curse.
Close your eyes.
Boop!
The curse is in the onion now.
-Hmm. Only one way to find out.
[ Gasps ] My wait time is zero minutes.
Hello? Uh, uh, will you finally install my cable?
Oh! You're at my house right now! Ha! I gotta go!
-Here's the mailbox key, Miss Moore.
-Ah.
This'll pair nicely with the hammer I have to use
to flush the toilet.
-FYI, one sheep is missin',
so there's a good chance Cody's still stuck in the wall.
-Ha! Another 3-pointer for the Knicks,
just as the spirits foretold!
-[ Sighs ] So, what, you're psychic now?
-Oh, oh, you know, labels are so gauche.
I prefer "god amongst men"...
who's gonna make a killing on the Knicks,
and nothingcan stop me!
-Groovy. We bet on the Knicks, too.
-No!
-You know that onion's cursed, right?
-A free onion's a free onion.
-If you bet on the Knicks, that means...
-Unbelievable! A sheep is loose on the court!
-It looks like the Knicks may have to forfeit!
-Oh! There's Cody!
[ Tablet clatters ]
-Why are you even here?
-The missus and I are finally
taking our honeymoon on Hart Island.
That's where the city buries its unclaimed dead.
-They're dropping me off with my sitter.
-[Echoing] Check it out!
I found a way to safely be around the Wheelers.
See? I'm okay.
It's funny!