1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:06,506
{\an8}♪
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,508
Oh, the courthouse
lovers are back.
3
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,844
And they're
Lady in the Tramping.
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,597
I think I liked it better when
they were open-mouthed kissing.
5
00:00:14,597 --> 00:00:16,558
Is this what it takes
to fall in love?
6
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,436
I have to suck a wet noodle
from someone's mouth.
7
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,354
Worst part is,
we're not serving spaghetti,
8
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,149
so they had to bring
that from home.
9
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,026
When I say "Hock,"
you say "Ey."
10
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,193
Hock!
- Ey!
11
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,570
- Hock!
- I'd keep going,
12
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,364
but I can feel
the way Dan's looking at me.
13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,534
We have tickets
to a Ranger game.
14
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,829
Great. Otherwise, that chant
would have been stupid.
15
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,372
Abby got us these jerseys.
16
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:43,501
"Your name"? See you shelled
out to personalize it.
17
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,045
The web site was very
confusing.
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:50,008
I also ordered a ton of
jockstraps without realizing it.
19
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:53,011
They also say "your name."
20
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,888
I've got some
exciting plans, too.
21
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,223
When I say "I'm,"
I say "leaving."
22
00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,560
I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
23
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,896
By the way, the guy over there
just stole a tray of croissants,
24
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,107
if you give a puck.
25
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,276
Oh. I got this.
26
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,695
Hey, what do you think
you're doing...
27
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,865
not kissing me?
28
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:18,411
Gurgs, this is why
you always have a cold.
29
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,664
Everybody, this is
my boyfriend, Alistair Tully,
30
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:22,957
the Duke of Greybog.
31
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:25,752
Duke, this is the everybody
of night court.
32
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,337
That's night with an N.
33
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,714
Not the kind you're used to
with the armor and the dragons.
34
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:33,009
And is my accent
disgusting to you?
35
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,511
Such a pleasure to meet you.
36
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,805
You're all drastically different
from what I imagined.
37
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765
I may look like I'm holding it
together,
38
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,060
but inside I'm reeling.
- [ Chuckles ]
39
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:46,272
Oops.
I'm stealing something, too.
40
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:49,859
I hope nobody comes up
and kisses me.
41
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:54,030
Excuse me. I got to go
give him a kiss.
42
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,490
Okay.
43
00:01:55,490 --> 00:02:00,286
{\an8}♪
44
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,205
I do apologize for stealing.
45
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,748
I always forget you have
to pay for things.
46
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,918
We royals don't carry money.
It's quite traumatizing
47
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:11,256
trying to make change
from your grandmother.
48
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,716
I can't believe
you surprised me.
49
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,926
And I can't believe
what we did in the ladies' room.
50
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:18,138
And I can't believe that's what
those croissants were for.
51
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,848
[ Laughs ]
52
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,353
I hope you don't mind
that I turned up unannounced.
53
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,022
I just thought it would be
a nice switch-about
54
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,190
from our monthly island romps.
55
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,608
Monthly?
How have you managed to do that
56
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,736
without missing a day of work?
- One of the perks
57
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,822
of dating a royal-- we're both
assigned body doubles.
58
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,073
And before you ask, yes,
59
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:40,618
our body doubles
have had sex with each other.
60
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,288
Ah. My apologies, My Lord.
61
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,207
I never should have left your
side in this dreadful place.
62
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,376
Judge, this is
my valet, Duncan.
63
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,129
I have known him
since I was in nappies.
64
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,298
He is like a butler to me.
65
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,301
Ah. I'm moved to
the brink of emotion.
66
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,635
Oh, good.
67
00:02:57,635 --> 00:03:00,764
I say, I have your schedule
with Lady Gurgs.
68
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:04,517
Tonight, you will enjoy a
Michelin star nine-course meal
69
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:08,772
featuring edible gold
and inedible fish.
70
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,107
[ Gasps ]
You can't tell which one
71
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:14,277
is making you nauseous,
and that's the excitement of it.
72
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:18,448
Gurgs, my love, this weekend,
we're going to hit the town.
73
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,658
Why does one say
that-- "hit the town"?
74
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,952
Has the town been naughty?
75
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:26,164
Ah! Quite a brilliant
observation, sir.
76
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:30,877
Yes, you're a regular
Jerome Seinfeld, as it were.
77
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,546
Yada yada indeed, sir.
78
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,466
Now, shall we get you
changed for dinner?
79
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,760
Oh, all right.
Uppies!
80
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,220
Yes. Ah!
81
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,971
Oh! All right.
82
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,849
Well, I shall see
you presently, my love.
83
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,565
I really like him.
And he's such a duke.
84
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,693
I mean, he brings
his own tablecloth.
85
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:59,072
I've been on trips, and I didn't
even bring my own toothbrush.
86
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,658
Yeah, he's the best.
But if I'm being honest,
87
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,868
there are times when I wish
it was just me and Alistair
88
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:08,206
and not the Duke of Greybog
and Lady Gurgs of Hackensack.
89
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,833
I get that.
90
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,793
Back home,
I used to walk the mayor's dog.
91
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,255
So, yeah, I've felt
the proximity to power, too.
92
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,881
I mean, what am I going to say?
93
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,010
"Let's go to a hockey game
instead of a once-in-a-lifetime
94
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,596
dining experience in the Statue
of Liberty's torch?"
95
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,599
You could, hockey's great.
Has he seen a Zamboni?
96
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:31,229
It's all the fun of a car
with the speed of a lawn mower.
97
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,564
You know,
don't even listen to me.
98
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,566
The Duke and I have
a good thing going.
99
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,443
It's the type of romance
people leave
100
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,945
a supporting role
on "Suits" for.
101
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,948
[ Clears throat ]
If you won't be needing me,
102
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,826
I'll just bugger on back
to the Radisson then.
103
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,496
{\an8}♪
104
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,623
I don't care how mad
you are about taxes,
105
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,459
you can't steal tea
from a Starbucks
106
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,962
and dump it in the Hudson.
$500 fine.
107
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,464
Well done, my love.
108
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,051
Book that traitor!
Clappies, please, Duncan.
109
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,969
Oh, yes.
110
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:06,765
What's up with that guy? Is he
one of those no talky guards?
111
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,809
Look at me.
I'm not saying anything.
112
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,311
Well, you should date him,
Olivia.
113
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,645
You're perfect for each other.
114
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,940
He doesn't talk,
and you don't listen.
115
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,401
You know, I think
he might be perfect for me.
116
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,946
He doesn't talk
and I don't listen.
117
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,865
I kind of like having
these fancy Brits around.
118
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,494
More James Bond,
less bail bond.
119
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,120
You know, that one's been
giving you dirty
120
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,623
looks all night.
- Yeah. What's his problem?
121
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,501
- Maybe he hates your face.
- Mm.
122
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,587
Hey, "Remains of the Day,"
what's your deal?
123
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,006
Well, if you must know,
124
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,843
I hate your stupid face.
125
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,806
I like that he added "stupid."
126
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:51,017
Any chance would your surname
be Elmore?
127
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,560
Elmore? Yes.
128
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,772
It was generations ago,
when the UK was relevant.
129
00:05:55,772 --> 00:06:00,026
Oh. Well, in that case,
be a good chap and burn in hell,
130
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,653
you traitors pig!
131
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:04,030
You know, that's the third time
somebody called you that today.
132
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,242
But his accent makes me
want to know why.
133
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:11,287
Well, our families have
a feud going back centuries.
134
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,373
You see, the Elmores
were varlets
135
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,041
to the great houses of England.
136
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,629
That is, until they abandoned
their posts shamefully,
137
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,966
like cowards, rather than serve
on the front lines.
138
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,718
Let me get this straight.
You're mad at me
139
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:28,430
because my ancestors skipped out
on fighting in a war?
140
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,099
I never said "fight."
141
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,393
I said "serve."
142
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,978
You Elmores ran away,
143
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,064
leaving our boys
with no desserts.
144
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:45,113
Those tummy rumbles
shall follow you to your grave.
145
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,865
[ Chuckles ]
146
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,826
That is the rudest waiter
I've ever met.
147
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,245
{\an8}♪
148
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,039
Ooh! Cappuccino jellybean,
149
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,790
you are guilty
of being delicious.
150
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,043
I'm throwing you
in the slammer.
151
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,294
[ Jellybean clatters ]
152
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,963
We got a runner.
Oh.
153
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,592
Sorry to interrupt
during meal time.
154
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,261
Five-second rule.
It's my last cappuccino.
155
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,972
Indeed.
Have you seen Gurgs?
156
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:13,516
We have a dinner date
and her carriage awaits.
157
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,310
It is a carriage drawn
by corgis.
158
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,270
Nothing quite matches
the pleasure of being pulled
159
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:21,358
along by an animal
with a one-inch stride.
160
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,859
I'll keep an eye out.
161
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,944
Just so you know, eating off
the floor in this country
162
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,364
is totally normal.
Ask anyone.
163
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,824
Don't ask anyone.
164
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,659
Well, I think it's tremendous
165
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:34,204
what you people have done
with your freedom.
166
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,874
[ Video game sound effect ]
167
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:41,503
Is someone playing a video game
in this closet?
168
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,297
Gurgs?
169
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,258
Abby?
See? I could do it, too.
170
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,052
{\an8}♪
171
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,810
Love your new place.
It's a real fixer-downer.
172
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,312
What's going on?
- I don't know.
173
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,606
I'm definitely not hiding
from my boyfriend. Ha!
174
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,191
Why would you think that?
175
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,402
Because I'm a little stressed
and I need a little break?
176
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,737
You sound crazy.
177
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,739
Good to know
it's not that, but if it was
178
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,491
because Alistair
showed up unannounced
179
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,702
with a royal entourage
and blew up your weekend plans,
180
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,286
I'd understand.
181
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,163
You sure you don't want to
just tell him how you feel?
182
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,499
Also, explain that
the American five-second rule
183
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,835
is prevailing medical wisdom.
184
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,503
Talking to him
won't do any good.
185
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,255
He's a royal.
He can't change that.
186
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,383
Okay, but this is not
a long-term solution.
187
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,760
I'm worried that fumes
from these cleaning supplies
188
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,637
are going to cause brand dimage.
189
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,516
Sorry, I meant
to say brain garage.
190
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,143
Maybe I should say something.
191
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,270
I'll just say I need a little
less pomp and circumstance.
192
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,856
There you are!
Pomp and Circumstance and I
193
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,858
have been worried sick.
194
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,735
What is this ghastly place?
195
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:51,031
Pomp, Circumstance,
shield your eyes.
196
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,533
This is just, um...
It's, uh...
197
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,036
Oh, it's my ghastly place.
Yeah.
198
00:08:56,036 --> 00:09:00,206
I just come in here
and I kick back, put on my hat,
199
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,167
and I drink my...
200
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,753
yogurt?!
- Yeah.
201
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,882
Yeah, I love me
a nice room temp yog.
202
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,384
How do you Americans
select your judges?
203
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,970
Is it by game show?
204
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,638
{\an8}♪
205
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,682
Hey, soldier, hasn't anyone
ever told you
206
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,060
it's not polite to stare?
207
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:24,481
You know, maybe silence
is where emotions truly thrive.
208
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,108
Wow. You are so deep.
209
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,071
Can you believe that British
weasel holding a grudge
210
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,741
for something that my family
did 300 years ago?
211
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,242
This is America.
212
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,913
A man should be hated
based upon his own actions.
213
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,581
I mean, I started as the oil boy
214
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,416
frying beignets
at Café Du Monde,
215
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,920
and I've climbed my way up to
being a very respected lawyer.
216
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,757
A very employed lawyer.
217
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,300
According to this,
some people believe
218
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,761
the Elmores were tricked
into abandoning their posts
219
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,930
so the Duncans could steal
the best valet jobs.
220
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,850
Golly, so he's saying that
my family were sniveling cowards
221
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,978
when all they were were
just gullible idiots.
222
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,980
If your family studied
for years,
223
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,734
they couldn't rise
to the level of gullible idiots.
224
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,072
Where did you get that glove?
225
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,117
- It was in my salad.
- Ugh.
226
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,869
With that slap, you've set
in motion a series of events
227
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,706
from which you cannot turn back.
228
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:25,125
Yeah, I know exactly
what I did.
229
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,919
What exactly did I do?
- [ Muttering ]
230
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,588
You just challenged him
to a valet-off.
231
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,590
Oh, my God, it's a duel.
232
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,300
Dan, you might have
to kill a guy.
233
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,301
Ah! What?!
234
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,345
Sorry.
Should have kept reading.
235
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,097
It's a duel of decorum.
236
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,683
Man, we never get
to kill anyone.
237
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,601
Why does slapping people
with gloves
238
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,730
always involve me
in the stupidest things?
239
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,315
{\an8}♪
240
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:53,028
Ah, I see you've moved up
from the floor to the bin.
241
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:57,490
Yes, but I'm eating
over the trash, not out of it.
242
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,159
I was hoping for some advice.
243
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,077
I could see that something
was bothering Gurgs
244
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,914
at dinner, she hardly cracked
a smile at my travel jester.
245
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,666
And I've never seen him
smash tomatoes
246
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,544
on his face quite like that.
247
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,922
Um, no. Maybe try
to do something more normal.
248
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,633
Like, uh, Gurgs was really
looking forward
249
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,844
to going to a hockey game.
- Hockey?
250
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,680
The sport we made up
to prank Canadians?
251
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,891
You can take my tickets
and my jersey.
252
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,601
It says "your name"
on the back.
253
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,853
- Oh, my name?
- No. "Your name."
254
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,856
- Yes, my name.
- No. The words "your name."
255
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,942
- Oh, it says "your name."
- It does?
256
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,987
Well, hockey match it is.
257
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:38,114
I'll have Duncan ready
the corgis.
258
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,991
Okay. I feel like you're not
totally getting
259
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,285
the concept of normal.
- I'm not getting it.
260
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,579
I don't get anything.
I just smile and nod
261
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,873
until somebody helps me.
262
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:53,338
Okay, okay, I'll help you.
But I'm warning you.
263
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:57,926
Once you wade into normal,
there is no turning back.
264
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,845
It's gonna suck.
265
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:05,100
Oh-oh, it's gonna
suck real hard.
266
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,687
You think you can handle it,
the Duke?
267
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:12,023
Well, I have to, for Gurgs.
268
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:15,610
Show me your normal ways,
you filthy nobody!
269
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,821
{\an8}♪
270
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,368
Behold the royal cutlery.
271
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,371
To get a clean spoon, we had
to fly it in from England.
272
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,832
You're seriously going through
with this valet-off?
273
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,375
Nah, it's not happening.
274
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,419
Apparently you need an impartial
judge with royal blood.
275
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,421
Where are we finding
one of those in this place?
276
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:39,509
Good news. I found
one of those in this place.
277
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:43,054
May I present Kenneth,
Lord of Devonshire.
278
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,390
[ Imitating trumpet call ]
279
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,438
Kenny?
From whom did he descend?
280
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,732
The Dairy Queen?
281
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,775
Turns out he actually
has royal blood.
282
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,279
An oracle prophesized he would
one day ascend the throne.
283
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,115
So a kindhearted woodsman
sent him here
284
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,951
to protect him
from his duplicitous uncle.
285
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,370
I like Jell-O.
286
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,624
{\an8}♪
287
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:15,045
Look, I simply cannot
do another normal thing.
288
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,421
But you're doing great.
289
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,548
You've used a bathroom
at a Trader Joe's.
290
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,843
You let a dog sniff you.
You let a man sniff you.
291
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:25,221
That was a man?
I rubbed his belly!
292
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,433
Your journey to normal
finishes here.
293
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,811
- A dungeon?
- Much worse. A subway.
294
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,396
Absolutely not. No!
295
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,690
Beneath the surface of the
Earth, my title means nothing.
296
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,819
This is a rat's domain!
They serve a different king.
297
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,614
You're scared.
And you should be.
298
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:44,157
You will get bumped into.
299
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,576
You will step
in mystery puddles.
300
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,745
You will end up in
the background of a TikTok,
301
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,330
and all the comments will be,
302
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,165
"Hey, what's with the weird
old lady sucking crumbs
303
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,875
out of a bag of chips?
LOL."
304
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,752
And you'll only find out
because a group of teens
305
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,087
outside of Shake Shack
will yell,
306
00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,964
"Hey, old lady,
where's your chip bag?"
307
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:03,677
And that's being normal.
308
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,387
That's where I've seen you.
309
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,014
Your destiny lies
beyond that turnstile.
310
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,766
But that filthy thing's
touched
311
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,851
every crotch in the city!
- Ah.
312
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,813
That's what makes New York
the greatest place on Earth.
313
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,232
We're all joined at the crotch.
314
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:20,443
Okay. Keep walking.
I'm teaching a duke a lesson!
315
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,862
Well, all right,
at least when it's over,
316
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,280
I'll be on the subway train.
317
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,366
And I assume
that's quite lovely.
318
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,618
Yeah, sure.
319
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,245
Oh! That's gone!
320
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,706
That has to be burnt.
321
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,582
It's just a matter of--
322
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,127
I mean, all I have to do is--
I simply--
323
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,838
I mean, it's obvious. I--
No, I can't do it.
324
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,840
I give up, carry me home.
325
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,967
Hey, do it for Gurgs.
326
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,553
Yes.
327
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,722
For Gurgs!
328
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,849
Tally-ho!
329
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,393
Oh! Ohh!
330
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,731
I'm a normal.
331
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,692
{\an8}♪
332
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,152
Girl, you're missing it.
333
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:03,737
Dan's getting spanked
by the guy he hit
334
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,572
with the rubber glove.
335
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,741
For the napkin challenge,
Duncan folded his
336
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:11,953
into a perfect swan,
and Dan's caught fire.
337
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,249
Time for the final challenge.
338
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:19,085
The English tea service.
339
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,670
You may as well run away.
340
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,423
After all,
that is what Elmores do best.
341
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,718
No, Duncan, because
the Elmores didn't run then,
342
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,386
and they're not running now.
343
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:32,599
I am going to stand here
and watch you kick my ass
344
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,144
with poise and dignity.
345
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:39,689
If you cry,
I'll clear the room.
346
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,942
We're really pulling
for you, Dan. [ Laughs ]
347
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,652
Okay, I'm pulling for you.
348
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,280
We will talk about this
in the car.
349
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,450
Elmore, you should know
I've never spilled a drop.
350
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,660
At university,
I was a starter
351
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:57,624
on the varsity tea service team
as a freshman.
352
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,461
All right, well,
let's get this over with.
353
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,755
[ All gasp ]
354
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,256
Oh, my goodness.
355
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,509
What are the odds
that I would break it
356
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,637
and then sort of glue
it back together again?
357
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:15,016
The tea is a royal standard
95 degrees Celsius.
358
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:20,605
Or as you Americans might say,
it's freaking hot, bro.
359
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,316
Something you don't know
about me, Duncan.
360
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,319
I am the most scalded oil boy
in Café Du Monde history.
361
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,446
These hands have been
deep fried.
362
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:33,493
They're nothing but callous,
and they feel practically...
363
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,744
nothing.
364
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,622
Paddington's marmalade!
How is he doing that?
365
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:41,626
Hey, watch the crown
jewels there, Ringo!
366
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,879
Ah! I have dribbled.
367
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,548
I'm disgraced.
368
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:51,970
I have lost to an Elmore.
I am no more than a buffoon.
369
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,097
Don't look at me!
370
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,724
Aah!
- Oh!
371
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,183
Aah!
372
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,061
- I guess you won.
- [ Laughs ]
373
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,063
You can probably
put the teapot down.
374
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,565
Ah.
375
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,821
I cannot. I think it is
a part of me forever.
376
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,906
Thirsty?
377
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,993
{\an8}♪
378
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,078
Look at this normal guy
doing everything
379
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:19,330
but eating out of the trash.
380
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,374
Gurgs and I are going
to have so much fun.
381
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,710
I've even practiced
an American laugh.
382
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,379
[ Laughs gutturally ]
383
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,965
Alistair, why are you
dressed like that?
384
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,509
Are you pranking
Canadians again?
385
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:35,096
My love, I'm taking you
on the date of your dreams--
386
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,432
a subway ride
to the Rangers game.
387
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,768
And your friend
can even tag along in case
388
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:43,063
we drop some food on the ground.
389
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,814
Oh, my God, this is.
390
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,984
[ Gasps ] This is--
- Exactly what you wanted?
391
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:52,906
Uh-huh. Because you changed
for me, and that's--
392
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,325
Good? Sweet? Adorable?
393
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:58,411
All of it. [ Gasps ]
I'm not freaking out!
394
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:02,916
[ Gasping ] My chest is tight
because I'm happy!
395
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,794
Ah! I got to go.
396
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:08,505
Gurgs, come back!
397
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:11,049
Your dirt friend
doesn't need to come with us.
398
00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:12,509
{\an8}♪
399
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,348
[ Knock on door ]
400
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:21,476
There's no one here,
just us mops.
401
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:25,980
Think I wouldn't open
this door to see talking mops?
402
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649
What happened back there?
403
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:31,236
I've never had anyone change
like that for me.
404
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:35,657
But what if he sees the mop
closet yogurt junky side of me
405
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:40,370
and he-- he realizes
I wasn't worth changing for?
406
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,834
You know,
people are like jelly beans.
407
00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,128
When you find your flavor,
you love them
408
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921
even if they're covered in lint
409
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,340
because they've been through
the dryer cycle
410
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,384
a couple of times.
411
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:58,179
You, Gurgs,
you're toasted marshmallow.
412
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,848
You're everyone's
favorite flavor.
413
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:03,643
If they don't like you,
they can choke on a Tic Tac.
414
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,937
You have to say that.
You're my friend.
415
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,732
- But I don't, do I?
- Don't listen to me.
416
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:11,818
Listen to you.
- I'm not your mate.
417
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,362
I'm a perfect stranger who had
to study you inside and out,
418
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,364
and I think you're
a wonderful lady.
419
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:21,244
Take it from me.
You are worth changing for.
420
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:24,998
I couldn't have said
it better myself.
421
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,334
Really?
422
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,337
Well, there's something
you should know.
423
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,381
This isn't Abby's closet.
It's mine.
424
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,717
When the world is too much,
I come in here,
425
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:40,805
play video games,
and drink out of this.
426
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,352
No.
427
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,687
We drink out of this.
- [ Chuckles ]
428
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,859
- Mm. Oh.
- Mm?
429
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,319
I also have an admission.
430
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:55,987
When I first saw the turnstile,
431
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,239
I thought it might rub my front
and my bum at the same time
432
00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,783
and I would never want to leave.
433
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:03,536
Oh, my man is a freak,
and I love it. [ Laughs ]
434
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,246
I think we should
get out of here
435
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,915
and give these two some privacy.
436
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,750
Oh, sorry, I don't think
I got your name.
437
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,461
- Fergs.
- Oh, "Furgs" for Fake Gurgs.
438
00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:15,256
For Ferguson.
I'm a person, you dumb yank.
439
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,883
{\an8}♪
440
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:21,012
It is I, Elmore the Great,
strongest of my line,
441
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,057
slayer of simpering sneaks.
442
00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:25,642
- About that.
- Hmm.
443
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,018
I did more research.
444
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,437
Turns out, in 1426,
the Elmores were saved
445
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,314
from a drawbridge collapse
446
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:34,818
and pledged eternal fealty
to their saviors,
447
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,778
the Devonshires.
- The Devonshires.
448
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,030
Isn't that Kenny's last name?
449
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,324
Indeed.
450
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,993
I'm your boss now, D-dog.
451
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,329
Draw me a bath.
452
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,374
And draw a lady in it, too.
453
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,543
On second thought,
the Elmores are dead.
454
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,670
I am Fielding of the New World.
455
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,631
Fine. I didn't want
to marry you anyway.
456
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,675
But I was so looking forward
to registering
457
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:01,636
at the Bass Pro Shops.
458
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,222
Look, I know this is crazy,
but just listen.
459
00:21:04,222 --> 00:21:06,266
I love you.
460
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,143
I really do.
461
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,645
[ Watch beeping ]
462
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,481
Ah, that's a bit
of the ol' all right, ain't it?
463
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,650
What's happening?
Why are you talking?
464
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,652
Because I'm off
the clock, love.
465
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,904
So, shall we, uh, bugger off
down the pub for a pint?
466
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,157
Or head back to your flat
for a bit of the old
467
00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:24,034
how d'you do, hey?
468
00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:26,453
Nope, nope.
No, no, no, nope. Nope.
469
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:30,540
[ British accent ] So, I hear
you're in the British guys.
470
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,917
Not for all the silence
in the world.
471
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:37,005
{\an8}It's funny.
472
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:40,925
{\an8}♪