All you need is salt and pepper because a great piece of meat
like this should taste of meat and really not a whole lot else.
So, I thought we would make some--
Why do you like cooking shows?
-No idea. -Do you cook?
Nope.
We start with a russet potato.
Just watch the shows.
Yep.
What about you? Do you cook?
I always think I'm going to, but I never really do, no.
A little piece of salmon here and there.
You know, that's about it.
Well, salmon's something.
It is. Thank you for that.
Salmon hard to cook?
-Brutal. -Yeah. Looks it.
Many years ago, I thought I would start poaching eggs.
I liked the idea
of eating them in the morning on little toast points.
Like royalty, you know, but
yeah.
-Didn't follow through. -Why?
You know, I was 30,
too busy to slow my roll for a three-minute egg.
Well, I support that poached egg dream.
It's not too late. I mean, you got the three minutes.
I do.
Come on, baby.
And here we go.
Good morning!
Did you get the caviar I sent you?
God, I get so much caviar sent to me,
I don't know which is yours.
The expensive one.
Oh, then I got it. Totally unnecessary.
Oh, I disagree, babe.
It is not every day someone makes you their plus-one
to the Met Ball.
I mean, all those years, I've resented those
chic bitches just posing on those stairs.
And now, I'm gonna be one of them.
Seema, those stairs are only for celebrities.
Real people like us have a different entrance.
I don't care if I have to squeeze in through a doggie door,
it's the Met Ball and I'm going!
But who am I wearing?
You're wearing that young, new designer,
LTW's in custom Valentino, so I'm sure Charlotte will "bring it."
Can you hold on a second?
I'd call Tom Ford, but I sold his apartment last year
and did not get his asking.
-Hello? -It's Charlotte.
Oh! Hi. Come on up.
Listen, I gotta go, okay?
I'm just so excited.
-Buh-bye. -Okay, I'm outta here.
Don't you want an egg?
-No time. -Right, 'cause I ruined the first two.
Hang in there.
That's, that's my friend, Charlotte.
I don't know why she's here.
-You wanna open the door and find out? -Oh, right.
Hi! Is it too early?
I just got my sketch on my Met Ball dress.
Charlotte Goldenblatt,
this is Franklyn Silvias, he's just leaving.
Franklyn, this is Charlotte. She's just arriving.
And I'm Carrie Bradshaw. I'll be your host and emcee
for about the next 30 seconds.
-And who's this? -This is Richard Burton.
I had to carry him up the stairs because bulldogs have weak hind legs.
But great faces.
-I'll see you Thursday at work. -Yeah, Thursday.
-All right, bye. -Okay. Bye.
Who?
He's my podcast producer.
-What? -Do you wanna put Mr. Burton down?
-Who? -Your dog.
Here, have a seat. I'm making poached eggs with caviar.
-What? -Yep. I've repurposed my kitchen.
Did you know that stoves aren't just for storage?
Oh, my God. Look at that!
I just saw the final cut, but let's start the montage
with the judicial OG Constance Baker Motley. Yeah.
Mama, listen to me recite my French poem.
I gotta go, Alice. Poetry emergency.
I'll send the file with my Act One edits before I leave. Okay, bye.
Fais-le.
La Cigale et la Fourmi par Jean de La fontaine.
-Ma! -La Cigale ayant chante--
Hey, Ma, where's my lacrosse stick?
Hall closet on the left side.
-Did you brush your teeth? -Yeah.
Breath?
Good.
Tout l'ete elle se trouva bien depourvue--
Mom, you never signed my permission slip for the robotics competition.
I sent it in yesterday.
-Did you brush your teeth? -Yeah.
Breath?
-Good. -Quand la bise fut venue--
-Honey? -Yes?
Did my Morehouse tie make it home from the cleaners?
I don't know. Why don't you ask
the other 50 ties in your closet?
Sarcasm for breakfast.
Well, it's lunchtime for me.
I've been up since four working on my edit.
I know you have
but I missed you this morning.
I missed you yesterday morning.
-Did you miss me? -So much.
But right now, I have to send this email, get the children to school, head downtown,
and dazzle the Walker Foundation
to get this other 25 grand to finish my doc.
Oh, but other than that, it is all about missing you.
Okay? And your missing tie.
Okay. You're working too hard.
Why don't you cancel this meeting and let me write you a check?
Well, that is a very generous offer,
but considering I am a grown woman with an MFA in film
and two docs under my belt,
I think I can rely on myself to secure the financing.
-Loud and clear. -And later this evening,
it will be louder and clearer.
Let's go, Gabrielle.
Au revoir, big, swinging checkbook.
Okay, go ahead.
We kissed in the elevator three weeks ago at work
and wound up back at my place.
I am so, so happy for you, Carrie.
-Why didn't you tell me? -I didn't tell anyone.
And don't do the Charlotte thing. Don't make us into a happy couple.
It's sex, a cooking show,
a sleepover every Thursday, and it's great. The end.
Okay. How big is his dick?
I'm not allowed to be me, so I'm gonna be Samantha.
Okay, wait. Now I'm gonna be Miranda.
-Okay. -If you sleep with someone at work,
you are giving away your power.
I miss Charlotte.
If you see her, will you tell her that I miss her?
Yes. I'm just surprised.
I mean, it's just kind of unexpected.
Well, you know what?
Life's too short not to try something new.
Like poaching an egg.
Hey!
Hey! How's it goin'?
Best getaway ever.
The sun, the sex, the toasted chili salsa.
-I feel so alive. -Really?
'Cause it looks like you're just standin' around
in your underwear in a weird-ass room.
Best standing in my underwear in a weird-ass room ever!
Che got stuck in a costume fitting for their TV pilot,
so I'm taking their sensory deprivation tank appointment.
That doesn't sound like you.
It's the new me. Best me ever!
Well, I'm still the old me, sitting on my couch at night
watching "Bridgerton" knockoffs, waiting for a FaceTime
from my estranged husband on tour.
Well, that's gotta stop now.
Get out of the house.
-Take yourself to dinner. -I tried that, Miranda.
It's exhausting explaining to curious waiters
why their favorite married couple isn't splitting their usual cacio e pepe.
Then go somewhere where they don't know you and Andre Rashad.
Will the B Train take me to 1996? 'Cause we've been together forever.
All right, I'm done supporting this pity party
for a brilliant, tenured Ivy League professor.
If I can float in the dark in a saline solution,
you can take yourself out to dinner alone.
Well, I gotta do somethin'. I took this online yoga class this morning
and this yoga instructor told us to open up and let it flow,
and I yelled out, "Fuck you, Andre Rashad!"
I thought I was muted. I wasn't.
I'm no longer welcome at Brown Yogis United.
And for the stand-up section, let's drive this around the block.
-Okay. -There we go.
Left arm.
What do you think?
Hey, America! I'm non-binary!
Got it.
Thanks.
I appreciate that.
I kinda like the idea of pulling it all back.
Maybe just, I don't know, jeans and a t-shirt.
Jeans aren't very forgiving up top, and you, you need a jacket.
It doesn't have to be this one.
But look at how major it is with the blue stripe in the hair.
Why does my hair look like that?
Hey, where's my star?
They don't like the hair.
Really? ABC loves the look.
Well, it looks hot on you, BD,
but, I mean, I don't have a blue stripe, and the character's name is Che,
the show's called "Che Pasa," right?
-It's me. -No, of course, it is.
It's just 'cause, you know, I'm the writer,
so I thought it'd be, like, a fun little bridge
between you and me.
With all due respect, BD, it's a bridge too far.
They want to just wear a t-shirt.
So, no jacket?
My eye.
Where's that light?
Fuck the new me! Jesus.
-Want some? -Is there a flavor?
-Lollipop. -Lollipop.
-Ooh, I'll get that. -No, no, no.
Carrie Bradshaw, it's on me.
And it's not even a fake reach like all the other times.
-Are you sure? -Just don't make fun of my credit card.
It's blue.
It's the least I can do.
I mean, you're letting my wife design your fancy-ass dress.
-Okay-- -It's a big break for Smoke.
No, no, no. This is not a favor, okay?
No wife of yours, no matter how much I love you,
would ever be designing my dress
if I didn't think she was a crazy massive talent
who I want to wear first.
Oh, you're gonna make me cry.
Smurf National Bank.
Hey, so, can you score two more tickets for Smoke and me?
Jackie, this isn't a Phish concert, okay?
-It's the Met Ball. -Come on. We're cool.
I mean, she's Black, and I do a podcast from my living room.
To be clear, Herbert saying, "You work too hard.
Let me write you a check,"
translates to, "Be there for my morning cuddle
and help me find my favorite tie."
Oh, I know. Harry's all like,
"Get out there, babe! You do everything,"
until one morning, he doesn't have his everything bagel.
And then it's like, "This house is falling apart!"
Hey, I'm really enjoying listening to your podcast "Rich People's Problems!"
You know, you're lucky I'm loaded with pins and can't move
'cause you don't want me to come over there.
Lisa, where's your hot designer, Pierre Paolo?
I want a selfie with him.
Anthony.
-What? -Is everything all right?
You are my date at Lisa's table.
You are not gonna embarrass me by asking for selfies
with celebrities at the Met.
Like I was the one that chased Justin Bieber
-down that hallway. -It was for the kids!
Okay. My nanny has the stomach flu and can't pick up Gabrielle.
-Oh no! -Ina, I am so sorry.
I promise I won't mess up any of your hard work.
Just tell him he can make the train as long as he wants.
Bye.
Hi, Gabby, it's Mommy. I'm on my way!
-Love the boobage. -Oh, thank you.
-Wait till you see the rest. -Mm. Mm.
-What are you gonna wear? -A tux.
Just a tux? The theme is "Veiled Beauty."
Well, I'm a veiled threat.
Just ask anyone.
I'm so excited. The Met Ball.
God, I love balls.
Okay. Dinner is gonna be a little bit late tonight
because after my fitting,
I had to go with your Uncle Anthony to get his tux.
Mom, you've got a big problem.
Like, giant. Enormous. So big.
Rock, stop scaring me. What is it?
Okay.
Dad thinks he's going with you to the Met.
What? Why would he think that?
No. Your daddy hates these kinda things.
Well, he just came home all excited about his outfit.
What outfit?
Cheerio, old chaps!
Honey, where'd you get that hat?
It matches yours, right? Am I right?
After I saw your outfit,
I went to this guy on Madison Avenue, and he is hookin' me up.
I mean, it's the Met Ball,
I can't just wear a plain, old tux.
I'm just surprised. You're so excited.
I never went to my prom, you know, 'cause I had Epstein-Barr that whole year.
-Right, right. -I'm really lookin' forward to it!
-You, me, Rihanna. -Oh, you, me, and Rihanna.
Yeah!
-Next voicemail, Franklyn, please. -Comin' at ya.
This is Chase.
Hi, Carrie.
I'm seeing this guy and we're having great sex,
but it's casual so far.
How do I know if he'd be open
to taking it to more of a relationship place?
Okay, bye.
First of all, Relationship Place is a great name for a restaurant.
Okay. I think and certainly, I'm no expert,
but if he'd like to go there, there will be a moment
when he sort of steps out of the pattern you are currently both in
and signals to you
that he thinks this relationship is more than just sex.
Anyway, that's what I think. I hope that's helpful, listeners.
'Kay, who's next?
Hey.
-Great show. -Yeah. Back at ya.
Oh, and, a buddy of mine is
christening his new bourbon line at a rooftop party
with some friends Tuesday night.
Might be fun. How 'bout it?
Oh, sure.
Cool.
I mean, is this a strap-on or a cat toy?
Can we move this along?
I've got a set at The Comedy Store at nine.
This is a lot of work for something
that I don't even know if I'm philosophically or spiritually into.
Please, you scream, "Gimme a dick."
Didn't they have a beginner model?
I'm not a beginner.
Okay. You've got at least 10 more minutes of heavy lifting.
I'm gonna take this. It's Carrie.
Backstage Cirque du Soleil, this is Che.
Say hi for me!
Miranda says hi.
Tell her I said hi. What's she up to?
Oh, trying to figure out a strap-on.
I withdraw the question.
So, hey, how are you?
Curious. What's Franklyn like?
My Franklyn?
He's a chill dude.
-How chill? -Why?
I'm about to take your and my relationship to a very personal place.
I just told you Miranda's strappin' on a dick.
We're there.
Put her on speaker.
Oh, she wants me to put you on speaker.
-Put her on speaker. -Okay, all right.
Okay, I'm sleeping with Franklyn.
-Who's Franklyn? -Her podcast producer.
Carrie, if you sleep with someone at work, you lose your power.
Take her off speaker.
You're out. Get back to it.
All right, all right.
So, you and Franklyn. I saw that coming.
I didn't. Out of nowhere, we kissed in the elevator,
and now we have sex every Thursday after the podcast.
-Nice! -No, it was until today.
He invited me to a roof party with his friends
and I said yes.
And that's a bad thing?
I don't wanna take this to the roof.
In fact, I don't wanna take this to any other level.
I like this level.
Thursday sex after the podcast.
Right, so why did you say yes to his invite?
I'm pathologically polite.
Okay, but some relationships are just about sex.
And that's the primary dynamic, which is awesome,
but then you have to keep it in the bedroom and--
And not the roof, right.
So, back to the original question,
Franklyn, what's he like? Is he really chill
or is he gonna get, like, you know,
all emotional when I tell him I only want Thursdays with him?
Carrie, truthfully, under all that chill, he's a dude.
So, I have no idea what's up in that man head.
All right. Thank you, then. Good night.
Okay.
Hey! What happened to penis-palooza?
Nah. Show's over.
I'm on Open Table.
How about we get outta here, grab some dinner, and I come see your set?
I'm still workin' out my new material.
Well, maybe, maybe tomorrow night?
-Definitely tomorrow night. -See?
Dick implied.
Good morning.
My son will be in town for one day next week.
I want you to meet him.
Really?
I'd like that.
So, lunch Monday.
This Monday?
Does it really come down to this?
The man or the Met?
Is the universe really that cruel?
Yes. The universe is a bitch.
Thank you. My purse was exhausted.
-There you are. -Well, you know,
you said you wanted your relationship to move forward, right?
Yes, but this is like a sudden lurch forward.
I've never even been to his place. My choice.
But meeting his son will definitely get you closer.
I'd be meeting his son and his ex-wife.
She's invited, too, so I'll get to see how close we'll stay after our divorce.
-So, you can't do both? -It's a European lunch.
It could take a month. I mean, if I go to the Met,
I'd have to be home with my glam squad by 2:30.
2:30? I need a month.
-You need two minutes. -Fuck, I can't come.
There's just too much on the table.
I'm sorry, Carrie. Now, you won't have someone gorgeous
to go to the Met Ball with.
What about that gorgeous booty call guy Charlotte told me about?
I never said booty call.
-You have a booty call? -It's not a booty call. We work together.
So, it's an actionable booty call?
She isn't ready to let someone in in a significant way.
Where'd you get that from?
That's your response? Your--
Okay. I-- Sorry. What is happening with you?
I am having "exit out of grief sex" every Thursday with a very nice man.
He is nice, yes.
Then, he asked me to go out with his friends
on a Tuesday, and I felt like I had to say yes.
-Just don't go. -Oh, okay. How?
How do I tell him I don't wanna go out on Tuesday
without seeming like a "See ya next Tuesday"?
You're overthinking this. Men aren't that emotional.
Just tell him you changed your mind. He'll handle it.
-Okay. -Last week, I was down on my knees
blowin' this cute nurse practitioner,
and I feel a tap, tap, tap on my head.
I look up and he says he thought he was gonna be into it,
-but he changed his mind. -Oh, my God.
-What did you do next? -No "oh, my God," no "drama."
I took it like a man. I got up, got dressed,
went home, ate a box of Fiddle Faddle and I'm fine.
Well, tap, tap, tap.
What does that mean?
It means that due to circumstances beyond my control,
I have to take Harry to the Met Ball instead of you.
-What? -He already bought a top hat,
and he never got to go to his prom because he had Epstein-Barr.
So? I had Lyme disease for five months.
Did I throw you from a speeding car?
-No! -But we're married.
I can't take my best gay friend over my husband.
Oh, okay. I didn't know you were on the Supreme Court.
All right, simmer down, simmer down.
You can be my plus-one.
See? Yes! Yes! You can go with Carrie.
Well
-I'll consider it. -Oh, thank you.
Bartender, I'll have what she's reading.
Such focus.
Must be absorbing.
Well, Skip Gates always is,
but since I'm on my second glass of Malbec,
I'm having a hard time concentrating.
Well, you're finding your roots over a glass of wine.
That's a challenge.
-How was your dinner? -It was wonderful.
I'd love to join you for dessert, but...
But?
You're using your purse as a rampart.
Oh, okay.
It's alright.
-I think there's a hook here somewhere. -I'll put it right here.
There you go.
-I'm Toussaint. -Yes, you are.
-I'm Nya. -Nya.
Beautiful name.
Have you tried the molten chocolate cake here?
It will make you see the face of God.
I believe it will. And I do love chocolate, but
I'm on kind of a diet.
I didn't know you had to give up chocolate once you got married.
-You do. -Really?
No wonder I'm still single.
I was too busy looking in these deep brown eyes.
I didn't clock the ring. My apologies.
I will make sure your fortress is secure.
Nice to meet you, Nya.
You good, ma'am?
I'll have another Malbec.
Ah, man.
I am so lazy in LA. No one walks anywhere.
You know? It's like yesterday I took an Uber
from my bathroom to my bedroom.
Yeah. And it was way too expensive.
And that is my time.
Thank you so much, everybody. You've been so great. Thank you.
-Hey, my man! -Heeey!
Che Diaz, everybody! Che Diaz! Yeah!
Out here in LA filming their TV pilot.
Hey, Che, any part for a white guy?
You were so good!
Nope. Don't hug me.
What's wrong?
I just-- You surprised me.
I'm at work.
You were so good.
Hey.
Hey, Andre. Turn on your FaceTime.
We're talkin' now. We don't need to FaceTime, babe.
No. No, we do.
I wanna FaceTime with you 'cause I wanna show you something
that's not my face.
Turn it on! Turn it on now.
What's up? Isn't it late there?
I miss you, baby. Know what else misses you?
Not my face.
I'm wearin' those panties you like. You know, the ones with the clit beads?
Babe, no, don't put the phone down there.
-I'ma put it down there, baby. -Nya, stop!
Stop. I'm not alone.
What you mean you're not alone?
Who's there with you? Show me who's there.
Who the hell is that in a hat?
It's not like that, Nye.
That's Heidi, a backup singer.
I'm helpin' her write songs.
Oh, you're helping Heidi-in-a-hat write songs in your hotel room?
We're just writing songs, and it's 9:30 here.
We're fully dressed.
I wish I had known that we were allowed to write songs with other people
because tonight
I had the chance to write a song with a super fine man.
-It's not like that. -Feels like it is!
And if right now was a song I was writing
it would be a breakup song.
So, goodbye, Andre Rashad and Little Miss Hipster Heidi.
Fuck around and find out.
Coming!
Hello!
Here we are!
-That is a stunning kimono! -Thank you.
My friend Stanford sent it to me from Japan.
Come in, come in!
-I-- -This is very exciting.
I'm not worried. We can do this.
Not worried about what? What can we do?
So, my seamstress has a stomach flu.
-Oh no. -So I had to use a new seamstress
and she also got the stomach flu.
There's a seamstress stomach flu?
-It is all over the city. -The seamstresses have the flu,
but I got lattes, y'all.
But the cape is totally done.
-Totally. -So it's only the dress.
Okay, so what still needs to be done on the dress?
All the final fit work.
Oh, my God.
-Dude, that's too small. -I know that, bitch.
Now what?
That new seamstress totally fucked this up.
-Fucked it up. -But we have six hours.
I can open up the back.
-Yeah, take it off. -Yeah, open it.
How?
Oh, my God.
Hey, can you check again?
Jackie, just sit the fuck back down! I told you not to come out here again!
Makes me nervous. Seriously?
My bad.
Weird.
I smell Franklyn from the old podcast.
That expensive man perfume he wears sometimes.
Yeah, he left his jacket here.
But why would Franklyn's jacket be in your bedroom?
Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh.
Are you and Franklyn dating?
Is he your date to this thing?
That is so adorbs.
Said with no irony at all.
It's not adorbs. We're not dating.
We just hook up after the podcast.
So, you're not taking him to this?
No, it's not like that.
We're not a couple.
Does he know that? 'Cause men are dumb.
It's just sex.
Carrie Bradshaw, the world has changed since you've been out there, okay?
It's not alright to objectify people anymore.
Men have feelings, too.
So, to sum it up
men are dumb with feelings.
-Exactly. -Gotcha.
Yeah.
-How's it going? -I still have four hours. Yeah.
Yeah.
The Colosseum.
Brady and Louisa look so cute.
I'm kind of learning my lines.
You're acting like a--
Something is different.
You don't want me to hold you lately.
Is there something you're not telling me?
Yeah.
Okay. I...
I have something that I've been
afraid to tell you because of how you'll feel about me after.
Okay.
I'm on a diet.
What?
The costume department said that my belly hangs over my jeans
and that's why I keep pushing your arms away.
I was afraid to tell you 'cause I don't want you
to think of me as this person. Fuck!
God, after everything I've been through, I let this bullshit still get to me.
Can I hold you?
Can I tell you something that I was afraid to tell you?
I thought that you thought that our relationship was just sexual
and I made a mistake coming to LA and taking it out of the bedroom.
No, it was about the jeans.
Che...
you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
-You know what? -What?
I am the most beautiful person you've ever seen.
So, fuck TV.
-Let's get a pizza. -Yeah.
-But thin crust, right? -You bitch.
Hey, it's Carrie. You got a minute?
Sure. What's up?
Well, in case you were worried,
you left your jacket here.
Oh, okay, well, I'll pick it up when I get you on Tuesday.
Also,
I changed my mind about the bourbon roof party on Tuesday.
Is it the bourbon or the roof?
It's the Tuesday.
I think I'm only ready for Thursdays with us.
Got it. You're not ready to book a table at Relationship Place.
Yeah. But I'm really happy with the takeout.
If you're okay with that.
Thursdays it is.
Okay. Bye.
It's us!
That'd be hair and makeup.
How's it coming?
Do you have a Band-Aid?
Oh, my God.
I can't even imagine the headspace you have to get in
to go to work every day.
Yeah, my job is a lot of pressure, but then, so is yours, right?
Actually, I think real estate may be a little more stressful, Cyril.
You only risk your life deactivating explosives,
whereas I have to take pretentious New Yorkers out to lunch.
Big shot and I are going for a smoke.
Victoire, get the check,
and then we'll go to Brooklyn for baklavas.
I'm not a fan of baklava or Brooklyn.
So, Victoire when is the last time you saw each other?
This morning, at home.
No, sorry. I meant Zed.
-Yes, this morning at home. -Whenever you're ready.
He's still living in my house.
Ooh, ooh.
-Oh, okay. -Sorry.
-Thank you. -We'll put that here.
Hi, Seema. How's lunch?
I'm coming. He still lives with his ex-wife.
I may be 20 minutes late.
Oh. Well, I may be a day late.
I'm having a bit of a dress issue.
-Sorry 'bout that. -No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.
-I'll keep you posted, okay? -Okay, babe.
Don't get out, Rocco, no time.
What's up, boss?
-Where are you going? -To my home
which I don't live in with my ex-wife.
She has the top two floors.
I'm on the first. Separate entrance.
Well, this feels like a mess, and I'm not missing the Met for a mess.
-You're such an American. -Yes, I'm an American.
No secret there.
Seema!
Hello. This is your male escort and I will be putting out.
Unfortunately, you will not.
-What? -Tap, tap, tap.
-Seema's back in. -You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
I'm sorry, but she needs the Met more.
-You'll get over it. You're a man. -Says who?
Says you.
You okay?
When did my life become seventh grade gym class again?
Don't have fun.
That's hot as all get out.
I get so--
Baby, your shoulders feel like iron.
What's goin' on up here?
The Avid crashed when I was getting my makeup done
and I lost all the work I did on my edit today.
That's what's going on up there.
Look, you are about to have a very big night.
Yeah.
And you're always doing everything for all of us.
Why don't you let me do that thing
that I do that relaxes you?
Sweetie, we don't have time.
Okay, fine.
But I am ready from the waist up.
-Nothing can get smeared or messed. -Got it.
-Only from the waist down. -Yeah.
And my editor's gonna send the new cut in, like, 10 minutes.
I only need eight.
Have a seat.
I just feel like I should be
-double-checking something. -Lis...
you're cuttin' into my eight.
Tighter, baby.
It won't go any tighter.
It has to! We've gotta work on your upper body strength.
Rock, please, come help your sister.
I won't be party to upholding the patriarchy
and the heteronormative standards of beauty.
I totally understand and applaud but just for today,
come help your sister.
Take them!
-Take these. -Okay.
These boots are kinda pinchin' me.
Welcome to fashion, Harry.
Ready, Rock?
Good, good.
What is with this train?
-This is crazy. -It's not crazy.
It's Valentino.
Where's the van? Where's the Sprinter?
That's what I forgot, to confirm the van.
-Oh, my God. -How could you forget that?
Well, I was having an orgasm, which you said was for me,
but typically, it was all about you.
Well, now what?
Back to me, of course. I don't know.
This can't fit in a cab. There's no limos available, so
let's scoop this baby up and walk.
You wanna walk 10 blocks?
Ya had to have your eight minutes,
you can walk 10 blocks.
It was worth it, baby. Wasn't it?
'Cause it was good. You know it was good.
I don't know if it was "walk to the Met" good, but it was good.
-Oh, okay. Can you see in that thing? -Who needs to see?
Is fashion always this hot?
Harry, stop kvetching.
And these boots are really gonna hurt goin' up all those stairs.
Well, good news.
Those stairs are only for celebrities, not for us.
So, no one at work is gonna see me on TV?
And where am I gonna get my picture with Rihanna?
Honey, you probably won't.
What? So, no stairs, no Rihanna.
Why'd I even wanna go to this thing in the first place?
I have been asking myself that all week!
What does that mean?
Fully embracing the "Veiled Beauty" theme...
"Veiled Beauty"? How 'bout "Veiled Beast"?
Arriving on the legendary Met stairs is always...
I hope you're havin' the worst time of your life.
Anthony? I've made a terrible mistake.
Please, please, come with me.
-I'm back in? -Yes, if you'll have me.
How soon can you be ready?
-Yesterday! -Okay, great. I'll pick you up in 20.
Okay, bye! I'm goin' to the Met Ball!
This is so great. Seema, this is fantastic.
You look amazing.
Amore, this is so beautiful.
Juan Jose.
Amore, I wanna take a little video.
Right there.
Anna is going to love it.
This is really divine. Amore, you look beautiful.
I love you all so much.
Guys, we killed it!
Bye! Ciao!
Looks good, babe.
No. No, it doesn't.
It's supposed to be fucking sickening tight
to show off her kick-ass body.
You still have a half-hour.
Jackie, this isn't some "Cinderella" shit!
This is my life! There aren't any magic birds or fairies
who are gonna pull this together, so just shut the fuck up, please!
I think I need a "Smoke" break.
Carrie, I'm so sorry.
-No. -You can't wear this.
I mean, my career will be over before it even starts.
You must have something else fabulous to wear with my cape?
Wait. I--
I can't just go to my closet and find a perfect dress
to wear to something called "Veiled Beauty." I--
Wait a minute,
I might have something.
I don't know. Maybe.
I've only worn it once.
It's not the best memory.
And just like that, I repurposed my pain.