1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,904 ("Hold Me Closer" by Ro Alex playing) 2 00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:12,813 ♪ I saw you dancin' out the ocean ♪ 3 00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:20,320 ♪ Runnin' fast along the sand ♪ 4 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:28,595 ♪ A spirit born of Earth and water ♪ 5 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:34,801 ♪ Fire flying from your hands ♪ 6 00:00:36,932 --> 00:00:38,836 ♪ Oh ♪ 7 00:00:38,836 --> 00:00:43,877 ♪ Hold me closer, tiny dancer ♪ 8 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,443 ♪ Ooh ♪ 9 00:00:46,443 --> 00:00:53,120 ♪ Count the headlights on the highway ♪ 10 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:59,059 ♪ Lay me down in sheets of linen ♪ 11 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,525 ♪ Ooh ♪ 12 00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:07,198 ♪ You had a busy day today ♪ 13 00:01:07,198 --> 00:01:08,201 ♪ Oh ♪ 14 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,838 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 15 00:01:13,205 --> 00:01:16,975 ♪ Hold me closer, hold me closer ♪ 16 00:01:16,975 --> 00:01:19,212 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 17 00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,049 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 18 00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:28,922 ♪ There are caravans to follow ♪ 19 00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:37,661 ♪ Drunken nights in dark hotels, baby ♪ 20 00:01:37,661 --> 00:01:39,530 ♪ Yeah ♪ 21 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:44,566 ♪ When chances breathe between the silence ♪ 22 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:52,243 ♪ Where sex and love no longer gel ♪ 23 00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:54,280 ♪ Ohh ♪ 24 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,350 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 25 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,720 ♪ Hold me closer, baby, baby ♪ 26 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,958 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 27 00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:09,830 ♪ Hold me closer, ooh, yeah ♪ 28 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,566 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 29 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,099 ♪ Hold me closer ♪ 30 00:02:16,099 --> 00:02:20,371 ♪ Hold me closer, me closer ♪ 31 00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:23,605 ♪ Me closer, hold me closer ♪ 32 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:40,224 {\an8}Chef (on laptop): All you need is salt and pepper because a great piece of meat 33 00:02:40,224 --> 00:02:41,858 {\an8}like this should taste of meat 34 00:02:41,858 --> 00:02:43,893 {\an8}and really not a whole lot else. 35 00:02:43,893 --> 00:02:45,362 So, I thought we would make some-- 36 00:02:45,362 --> 00:02:47,259 Carrie: Why do you like cooking shows? 37 00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:49,533 - No idea. - Do you cook? 38 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,701 - Nope. - Hm. 39 00:02:51,701 --> 00:02:53,770 Chef: We start with a russet potato. 40 00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:55,637 Just watch the shows. 41 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,642 - Yep. - (Carrie chuckles) 42 00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:00,310 What about you? Do you cook? 43 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,946 Um... I always think I'm going to, 44 00:03:02,946 --> 00:03:05,649 - but I never really do, no. - Ah. 45 00:03:05,649 --> 00:03:08,552 A little piece of salmon here and there. 46 00:03:08,552 --> 00:03:09,786 You know, that's about it. 47 00:03:09,786 --> 00:03:12,423 Well, salmon's something. 48 00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:14,656 - It is. Thank you for that. - Mm-hmm. 49 00:03:15,661 --> 00:03:16,660 Salmon hard to cook? 50 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:19,132 - Brutal. - Yeah... Looks it. 51 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:24,568 Many years ago, I thought I would start poaching eggs. 52 00:03:24,568 --> 00:03:27,070 I liked the idea... 53 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:30,407 of eating them in the morning on little toast points. 54 00:03:30,407 --> 00:03:33,410 - Like royalty, you know, but... - (Franklyn chuckles) 55 00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:34,778 yeah. 56 00:03:34,778 --> 00:03:37,815 - Didn't follow through. - Why? 57 00:03:37,815 --> 00:03:39,683 You know, I was 30, 58 00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:43,923 - too busy to slow my roll for a three-minute egg. - Ah, ah. 59 00:03:44,489 --> 00:03:47,691 - Well, I support that poached egg dream. - (Carrie chuckles) 60 00:03:47,691 --> 00:03:49,193 It's not too late. 61 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:51,863 I mean, you got the three minutes. 62 00:03:51,863 --> 00:03:53,830 - I do. - Uh-huh. 63 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:55,869 Carrie: Come on, baby. 64 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,304 Ooh. 65 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,839 And here we go. 66 00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:02,876 (phone ringing) 67 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,710 Good morning! 68 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,512 Did you get the caviar I sent you? 69 00:04:08,512 --> 00:04:11,649 God, I get so much caviar sent to me, 70 00:04:11,649 --> 00:04:13,117 I don't know which is yours. 71 00:04:13,117 --> 00:04:14,484 The expensive one. 72 00:04:14,484 --> 00:04:17,654 Oh, then I got it. Totally unnecessary. 73 00:04:17,654 --> 00:04:19,218 Oh, I disagree, babe. 74 00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,724 It is not every day 75 00:04:20,724 --> 00:04:22,894 someone makes you their plus-one 76 00:04:22,894 --> 00:04:24,362 to the Met Ball. 77 00:04:24,362 --> 00:04:27,464 I mean, all those years, I've resented those 78 00:04:27,464 --> 00:04:30,667 chic bitches just posing on those stairs. 79 00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:33,402 And now... I'm gonna be one of them. 80 00:04:33,402 --> 00:04:36,374 Oh, Seema, those stairs are only for celebrities. 81 00:04:36,374 --> 00:04:38,875 Real people like us have a different entrance. 82 00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,178 I don't care if I have to squeeze in through a doggie door, 83 00:04:41,178 --> 00:04:43,880 it's the Met Ball and I'm going! 84 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,710 But who am I wearing? 85 00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:47,484 You're wearing that young, new designer, 86 00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:50,188 LTW's in custom Valentino, 87 00:04:50,188 --> 00:04:51,855 so I'm sure Charlotte will "bring it." 88 00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:54,323 - (door buzzing) - Oh, can you hold on a second? 89 00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:57,028 I'd call Tom Ford, but I sold his apartment last year 90 00:04:57,028 --> 00:04:58,832 and did not get his asking. 91 00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:02,366 - Hello? - Charlotte (over intercom): It's Charlotte. 92 00:05:02,366 --> 00:05:06,002 Oh, hi. Come, come on up. 93 00:05:06,002 --> 00:05:07,671 Uh, listen, I gotta go, okay? 94 00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:09,006 Seema: I'm just so excited. 95 00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:11,208 - Carrie: Buh-bye. - Okay, I'm outta here. 96 00:05:11,208 --> 00:05:12,913 Oh, don't you want an egg? 97 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:16,747 - No time. - Right... 'cause I ruined the first two. 98 00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:18,248 - Hang in there. - (knocking at door) 99 00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:22,186 Ah. Oh, that's, um, that's my friend, Charlotte. 100 00:05:22,186 --> 00:05:24,291 I don't know why she's here. 101 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,625 - You wanna open the door and find out? - Oh, right. 102 00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:29,496 (both chuckling) 103 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:37,301 Hi! Is it too early? I just got my sketch on my Met Ball dress. 104 00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:39,236 (gasps) Oh. 105 00:05:39,236 --> 00:05:41,104 Uh, Charlotte Goldenblatt, 106 00:05:41,104 --> 00:05:43,907 this is Franklyn Silvias, he's just leaving. 107 00:05:43,907 --> 00:05:47,444 Franklyn, this is Charlotte. She's just arriving. 108 00:05:47,444 --> 00:05:49,780 And I'm Carrie Bradshaw. I'll be your host and emcee 109 00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:53,149 - for about the next 30 seconds. - (Franklyn chuckles) 110 00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:56,653 - And who's this? - Oh, uh, this is Richard Burton. 111 00:05:56,653 --> 00:05:58,122 I had to carry him up the stairs 112 00:05:58,122 --> 00:06:00,557 because bulldogs have weak hind legs. 113 00:06:00,557 --> 00:06:03,897 Oh, but great faces. (chuckles) 114 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,064 - I'll see you Thursday at work. - Yeah, Thursday. 115 00:06:07,064 --> 00:06:09,102 - All right, bye. - Okay. Bye. 116 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,237 - (door closes) - Who? 117 00:06:13,237 --> 00:06:15,005 He's my podcast producer. 118 00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:16,941 - What?! - Do you wanna put Mr. Burton down? 119 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,809 - Who?! - Your dog. 120 00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:22,145 Here, have a seat. I'm making poached eggs with caviar. 121 00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:25,148 - What?! - Yep. I've repurposed my kitchen. 122 00:06:25,148 --> 00:06:29,520 Did you know that stoves aren't just for storage? 123 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,193 - (timer dinging) - Oh, my God. Look at that! 124 00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:38,762 I just saw the final cut, but let's start the montage 125 00:06:38,762 --> 00:06:43,133 with the judicial OG Constance Baker Motley. Yeah. 126 00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:45,469 Mama, listen to me recite my French poem. 127 00:06:45,469 --> 00:06:47,265 I gotta go, Alice. Poetry emergency. 128 00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:51,142 I'll send the file with my Act One edits before I leave. Okay, bye. 129 00:06:51,142 --> 00:06:52,671 Fais-le. 130 00:06:52,671 --> 00:06:54,439 Gabrielle: La Cigale et la Fourmi 131 00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:56,313 par Jean de La fontaine. 132 00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:58,282 - Herbert Jr.: Ma! - La Cigale ayant chante-- 133 00:06:58,282 --> 00:06:59,816 Hey, Ma, where's my lacrosse stick? 134 00:06:59,816 --> 00:07:01,318 Hall closet on the left side. 135 00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,154 - Did you brush your teeth? - Yeah. 136 00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:04,221 - Breath? - (Herbert Jr. exhales) 137 00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:05,456 Good. 138 00:07:05,456 --> 00:07:08,158 Tout l'ete elle se trouva bien depourvue-- 139 00:07:08,158 --> 00:07:09,893 Mom, you never signed my permission slip 140 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:11,161 for the robotics competition. 141 00:07:11,161 --> 00:07:12,496 I sent it in yesterday. 142 00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:13,797 - Did you brush your teeth? - Yeah. 143 00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:15,499 - Breath? - (exhales) 144 00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:17,701 - Good. - Quand la bise fut venue... 145 00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,169 - Herbert: Honey? - Yes? 146 00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:21,237 Did my Morehouse tie make it home from the cleaners? 147 00:07:21,237 --> 00:07:22,640 Lisa Todd Wexley: I don't know. Why don't you ask 148 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:23,873 the other 50 ties in your closet? 149 00:07:23,873 --> 00:07:25,709 (laughs) Sarcasm for breakfast. 150 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,378 Well, it's lunchtime for me. 151 00:07:27,378 --> 00:07:29,213 I've been up since four working on my edit. 152 00:07:29,213 --> 00:07:31,251 I know you have... 153 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,750 but I missed you this morning. 154 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:37,588 - Mm. - Mm, I missed you yesterday morning. 155 00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:40,724 - Did you miss me? - So much. 156 00:07:40,724 --> 00:07:42,860 But right now, I have to send this email, 157 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:45,729 get the children to school, head downtown... 158 00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:47,898 and dazzle the Walker Foundation 159 00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:50,366 to get this other 25 grand to finish my doc. 160 00:07:50,366 --> 00:07:53,837 Oh, but other than that, it is all about missing you. 161 00:07:53,837 --> 00:07:57,175 Okay? And your missing tie. 162 00:07:57,175 --> 00:07:58,909 Okay. You're working too hard. 163 00:07:58,909 --> 00:08:01,648 Why don't you cancel this meeting and let me write you a check? 164 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:06,617 Well, that is a very generous offer, 165 00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:10,120 but considering I am a grown woman with an MFA in film 166 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,789 and two docs under my belt, 167 00:08:12,789 --> 00:08:17,898 I think I can rely on myself to secure the financing. 168 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,298 - Loud and clear. - And later this evening, 169 00:08:21,298 --> 00:08:24,568 it will be louder and clearer. 170 00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:26,370 Let's go, Gabrielle. 171 00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:30,074 Au revoir, big, swinging checkbook. 172 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,311 (chuckles) 173 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,711 Okay, go ahead. 174 00:08:34,711 --> 00:08:37,113 We, uh, we kissed in the elevator... 175 00:08:37,113 --> 00:08:38,315 - Mm-hmm. - ...three weeks ago at work 176 00:08:38,315 --> 00:08:40,450 and wound up back at my place. 177 00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:43,219 - I am so, so happy for you, Carrie. - (Carrie laughs) 178 00:08:43,219 --> 00:08:46,290 - Why didn't you tell me? - I didn't tell anyone. 179 00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,625 And don't do the Charlotte thing. 180 00:08:47,625 --> 00:08:49,327 Don't make us into a happy couple. 181 00:08:49,327 --> 00:08:51,629 It's sex, a cooking show, 182 00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:55,233 a sleepover every Thursday, and it's great. The end. 183 00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:58,168 Okay. How big is his dick? 184 00:08:58,168 --> 00:09:00,403 I'm not allowed to be me, so I'm gonna be Samantha. 185 00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:02,272 - Okay, wait. Now I'm gonna be Miranda. - Oh-oh. 186 00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,275 - Uh-oh. Okay. - If you sleep with someone at work, 187 00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:06,571 you are giving away your power. 188 00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:09,179 Mm... I miss Charlotte. 189 00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:11,448 If you see her, will you tell her that I miss her? 190 00:09:11,448 --> 00:09:13,983 (laughs) Yes. I'm just surprised. 191 00:09:13,983 --> 00:09:17,287 - I mean, it's just kind of unexpected. - Mm-hmm. 192 00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:19,189 Well, you know what? 193 00:09:19,189 --> 00:09:23,293 Life's too short not to try something new. 194 00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:25,999 - Like poaching an egg. - Mm! 195 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:30,136 - (FaceTime ringing) - (gasps) 196 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,172 Hey! How's it goin'? 197 00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:36,940 Miranda (on phone): Best getaway ever. 198 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:40,811 The sun, the sex, the toasted chili salsa. 199 00:09:40,811 --> 00:09:43,013 - I feel so alive. - Nya (on phone): Really? 200 00:09:43,013 --> 00:09:44,682 'Cause it looks like you're just standin' around 201 00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:46,816 in your underwear in a weird-ass room. 202 00:09:46,816 --> 00:09:50,220 Best standing in my underwear in a weird-ass room ever! 203 00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:53,723 Che got stuck in a costume fitting for their TV pilot, 204 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:58,029 so I'm taking their sensory deprivation tank appointment. 205 00:09:58,029 --> 00:09:59,363 That doesn't sound like you. 206 00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:02,833 It's the new me. Best me ever! 207 00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:06,536 Nya: Well, I'm still the old me, sitting on my couch at night 208 00:10:06,536 --> 00:10:09,039 watching "Bridgerton" knockoffs, waiting for a FaceTime 209 00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:10,907 from my estranged husband on tour. 210 00:10:10,907 --> 00:10:13,310 Well, that's gotta stop now. 211 00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,712 Get out of the house. 212 00:10:14,712 --> 00:10:18,014 - Take yourself to dinner. - I tried that, Miranda. 213 00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:20,083 It's exhausting explaining to curious waiters 214 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:21,551 why their favorite married couple 215 00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:23,887 isn't splitting their usual cacio e pepe. 216 00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:26,890 Then go somewhere where they don't know you and Andre Rashad. 217 00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:28,892 Will the B Train take me to 1996? 218 00:10:28,892 --> 00:10:30,326 'Cause we've been together forever. 219 00:10:30,326 --> 00:10:33,096 All right, I'm done supporting this pity party 220 00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:36,199 for a brilliant, tenured Ivy League professor. 221 00:10:36,199 --> 00:10:39,936 If I can float in the dark in a saline solution, 222 00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:41,939 you can take yourself out to dinner alone. 223 00:10:41,939 --> 00:10:43,607 Nya: Well, I gotta do somethin'. 224 00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:45,241 I took this online yoga class this morning 225 00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:47,844 and this yoga instructor told us to open up and let it flow, 226 00:10:47,844 --> 00:10:50,013 and I yelled out, "Fuck you, Andre Rashad!" 227 00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:52,449 - (laughs) - I thought I was muted. I wasn't. 228 00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:55,522 I'm no longer welcome at Brown Yogis United. 229 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:59,223 And for the stand-up section, 230 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:02,896 let's drive this around the block. 231 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,468 - Okay. (clears throat) - Biz: There we go. 232 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,804 - Left arm. - (Che clears throat) 233 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:12,806 Biz: What do you think? 234 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,307 (silly cartoon voice) Hey, America! I'm non-binary! 235 00:11:16,307 --> 00:11:17,775 (sighs) Got it. 236 00:11:17,775 --> 00:11:19,245 Thanks. 237 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,382 I appreciate that. 238 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,882 Um, (clears throat) I kinda like the idea of pulling it all back. 239 00:11:24,882 --> 00:11:27,651 Maybe just, I don't know, jeans and a t-shirt. 240 00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:29,820 Jeans aren't very forgiving up top, 241 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,889 and you, you need a jacket. 242 00:11:31,889 --> 00:11:34,825 It doesn't have to be this one. 243 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,494 But look at how major it is 244 00:11:36,494 --> 00:11:38,729 with the blue stripe in the hair. 245 00:11:38,729 --> 00:11:40,731 Why does my hair look like that? 246 00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,933 Hey, where's my star? 247 00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:44,435 - They don't like the hair. - Hey. 248 00:11:44,435 --> 00:11:47,271 Really? ABC loves the look. 249 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:50,407 Well, it looks hot on you, BD, 250 00:11:50,407 --> 00:11:53,410 but, I mean, I don't have a blue stripe, 251 00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:56,947 and the character's name is Che, um, 252 00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,483 the show's called "Che Pasa," right? 253 00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:01,818 - It's, it's me. - No, of course, it is. 254 00:12:01,818 --> 00:12:03,487 It's just 'cause, you know, I'm the writer, 255 00:12:03,487 --> 00:12:05,022 so I thought it'd be, like, a fun, little bridge 256 00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:07,251 between you and, and me. 257 00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:11,165 With all due respect, BD... it's a bridge too far. 258 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,634 They want to just wear a t-shirt. 259 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,100 So, no jacket? 260 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,037 (Che sighs) 261 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,407 (exhales) 262 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,679 Oh, my eye. 263 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,313 Ow. 264 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,682 Oww. 265 00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:31,718 Ugh. 266 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,319 Ow. 267 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:35,689 Ow. 268 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,190 (groaning) 269 00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:40,790 Where's that... light? 270 00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:43,194 (water splashing) 271 00:12:43,194 --> 00:12:46,667 (grunting) 272 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,833 (grunts) 273 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:50,067 Ow. 274 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,167 (sighs) 275 00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:55,842 Oh, fuck the new me! Jesus. (groans) 276 00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,643 - Want some? - Is there a flavor? 277 00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:01,411 - Lollipop. - Lollipop. 278 00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:03,147 - Ooh, I'll get that. - No, no, no. 279 00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,348 Carrie Bradshaw, it's on me. 280 00:13:05,348 --> 00:13:08,685 And it's not even a fake reach like all the other times. 281 00:13:08,685 --> 00:13:11,222 - Are you sure? - Just don't make fun of my credit card. 282 00:13:11,222 --> 00:13:13,757 - It's blue. - (Carrie laughing) 283 00:13:13,757 --> 00:13:15,159 It's the least I can do. 284 00:13:15,159 --> 00:13:16,160 I mean, you're letting my wife 285 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,761 design your fancy-ass dress. 286 00:13:17,761 --> 00:13:19,196 - Okay-- - It's a big break for Smoke. 287 00:13:19,196 --> 00:13:21,197 No, no, no. This is not a favor, okay? 288 00:13:21,197 --> 00:13:24,702 No wife of yours, no matter how much I love you... 289 00:13:24,702 --> 00:13:27,203 would ever be designing my dress 290 00:13:27,203 --> 00:13:31,836 if I didn't think she was a crazy massive talent 291 00:13:31,836 --> 00:13:33,377 who I want to wear first. 292 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,782 - Aw, you're gonna make me cry. - (chuckles) 293 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:39,917 Smurf National Bank. 294 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:41,255 (chuckling scoff) 295 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,091 Hey, so, can you score two more tickets for Smoke and me? 296 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,857 Jackie, this isn't a Phish concert, okay? 297 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:49,893 - It's the Met Ball. - Come on. We're cool. 298 00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:52,529 I mean, she's Black, and I do a podcast from my living room. 299 00:13:52,529 --> 00:13:53,567 (laughing) 300 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,894 To be clear, Herbert saying, "You work too hard. 301 00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:57,300 Let me write you a check," 302 00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,703 translates to, "Be there for my morning cuddle 303 00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:01,305 and help me find my favorite tie." 304 00:14:01,305 --> 00:14:03,740 Oh, I know. Harry's all like, 305 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:06,376 "Get out there, babe! You do everything," 306 00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:09,379 until one morning, he doesn't have his everything bagel. 307 00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:11,915 And then it's like, "This house is falling apart!" 308 00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:15,986 Hey, I'm really enjoying listening to your podcast "Rich People's Problems!" 309 00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:18,055 You know, you're lucky I'm loaded with pins and can't move 310 00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:19,489 'cause you don't want me to come over there. 311 00:14:19,489 --> 00:14:21,458 Lisa, where's your hot designer, Pierre Paolo? 312 00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:22,827 - I want a selfie with him. - (phone ringing) 313 00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,122 Anthony. 314 00:14:24,122 --> 00:14:25,329 - What? - Lisa: Is everything all right? 315 00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:27,463 You are my date at Lisa's table. 316 00:14:27,463 --> 00:14:29,961 You are not gonna embarrass me by asking for selfies 317 00:14:29,961 --> 00:14:31,469 with celebrities at the Met. 318 00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:33,103 Like I was the one that chased Justin Bieber 319 00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:35,471 - down that hallway. - It was for the kids! 320 00:14:35,471 --> 00:14:38,975 Okay. My nanny has the stomach flu and can't pick up Gabrielle. 321 00:14:38,975 --> 00:14:40,944 - Charlotte: Oh no! - Ina, I am so sorry. 322 00:14:40,944 --> 00:14:42,979 I promise I won't mess up any of your hard work. 323 00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:45,016 Just tell him he can make the train as long as he wants. 324 00:14:45,016 --> 00:14:46,183 - Bye. - (phone ringing) 325 00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,122 Hi, Gabby, it's Mommy. I'm on my way! 326 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,020 - Love the boobage. - (gasps) Oh, thank you. 327 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,088 - Wait 'til you see the rest. - Mm. Mm. 328 00:14:52,088 --> 00:14:53,990 - What are you gonna wear? - A tux. 329 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:58,529 - Just a tux? The theme is "Veiled Beauty." - Well, I'm a veiled threat. 330 00:14:58,529 --> 00:15:00,330 Just ask anyone. 331 00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:03,100 I'm so excited. The Met Ball. 332 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,435 God, I love balls. 333 00:15:04,435 --> 00:15:07,073 (playing classical music) 334 00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:19,049 Okay... Dinner is gonna be a little bit late tonight 335 00:15:19,049 --> 00:15:23,120 because after my fitting, I had to go with your Uncle Anthony to get his tux. 336 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,021 Mom, you've got a big problem. 337 00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:28,058 Like, giant. Enormous. So big. 338 00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:30,060 Rock, stop scaring me. What is it? 339 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,695 Okay. 340 00:15:31,695 --> 00:15:33,864 Dad thinks he's going with you to the Met. 341 00:15:33,864 --> 00:15:36,500 What? Why would he think that? 342 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,235 No. Your daddy hates these kinda things. 343 00:15:39,235 --> 00:15:42,342 Well, he just came home all excited about his outfit. 344 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,341 What outfit? 345 00:15:44,341 --> 00:15:46,580 Cheerio, old chaps! 346 00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,313 - (Harry laughs) - Honey, where'd you get that hat? 347 00:15:49,313 --> 00:15:51,315 It matches yours, right? Am I right? 348 00:15:51,315 --> 00:15:52,683 - Eh... - After I saw your outfit, 349 00:15:52,683 --> 00:15:53,917 I went to this guy on Madison Avenue, 350 00:15:53,917 --> 00:15:55,319 and he is hookin' me up. 351 00:15:55,319 --> 00:15:57,221 I mean, it's the Met Ball, 352 00:15:57,221 --> 00:15:58,822 I can't just wear a plain, old tux. 353 00:15:58,822 --> 00:16:01,492 I-I-I'm just surprised. Y-You're so excited. 354 00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:02,892 I never went to my prom, you know, 355 00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:04,361 'cause I had Epstein-Barr that whole year. 356 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:07,431 - Right, right. - I'm really lookin' forward to it! 357 00:16:07,431 --> 00:16:12,102 - You, me, Rihanna. - Oh! You, me, and Rihanna. 358 00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:13,204 Yeah! 359 00:16:13,204 --> 00:16:14,707 - (Charlotte mumbles) - (Lily chuckles) 360 00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:19,079 - Next voicemail, Franklyn, please. - Comin' at ya. 361 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,778 This is Chase. 362 00:16:21,778 --> 00:16:23,246 Chase (on voicemail): Hi, Carrie. 363 00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:26,350 I'm seeing this guy and we're having great sex, 364 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,784 but it's casual so far. 365 00:16:27,784 --> 00:16:29,953 - Hm. - How do I know if he'd be open 366 00:16:29,953 --> 00:16:32,790 to taking it to more of a relationship place? 367 00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:33,923 Okay, bye. 368 00:16:33,923 --> 00:16:35,393 First of all, Relationship Place 369 00:16:35,393 --> 00:16:37,260 is a great name for a restaurant. 370 00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:41,131 Okay. I think, and, uh, certainly, I'm no expert, 371 00:16:41,131 --> 00:16:43,901 but... if he'd like to go there, 372 00:16:43,901 --> 00:16:45,940 there will be a moment... 373 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,773 when he sort of steps out of the pattern you are currently both in 374 00:16:49,773 --> 00:16:52,142 and signals to you 375 00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:56,613 that he thinks this relationship is more than just sex. 376 00:16:56,613 --> 00:16:58,249 Anyway, that's what I think. 377 00:16:58,249 --> 00:17:00,751 I hope that's helpful, listeners. 378 00:17:00,751 --> 00:17:03,120 Uh, 'kay, uh, who's next? 379 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,222 Hey. 380 00:17:04,222 --> 00:17:06,761 (indistinct chatter) 381 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,893 - Franklyn: Great show. - Yeah. Back at ya. 382 00:17:09,893 --> 00:17:11,895 Oh, and, a buddy of mine is 383 00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:14,164 christening his new bourbon line at a rooftop party 384 00:17:14,164 --> 00:17:16,067 with some friends Tuesday night. 385 00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:18,038 Might be fun. How 'bout it? 386 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,639 Oh, um, (chuckles) sure. 387 00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:22,843 Cool. 388 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,346 (door closes) 389 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:34,085 I mean... is-- is, is this a strap-on or a cat toy? 390 00:17:34,085 --> 00:17:35,319 (laughs) Can we move this along? 391 00:17:35,319 --> 00:17:37,121 I've got a set at The Comedy Store at nine. 392 00:17:37,121 --> 00:17:38,755 This is a lot of work for something 393 00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:42,425 that I don't even know if I'm philosophically or spiritually into. 394 00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:46,330 - Oh, please, you scream, "Gimme a dick." - (Miranda scoffs) 395 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:48,032 Didn't they have a beginner model? 396 00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:50,501 - I'm not a beginner. - Oh! 397 00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:52,534 (phone ringing) 398 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,040 Okay. You've got at least 10 more minutes of heavy lifting. 399 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,343 I'm gonna take this. It's Carrie. 400 00:17:59,343 --> 00:18:01,478 Backstage Cirque du Soleil, this is Che. 401 00:18:01,478 --> 00:18:03,181 - (Carrie chuckles) - Miranda (through phone): Say hi for me! 402 00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:04,548 (chuckles) Miranda says hi. 403 00:18:04,548 --> 00:18:07,184 Oh, tell her I said hi. What's she up to? 404 00:18:07,184 --> 00:18:08,885 Oh, trying to figure out a strap-on. 405 00:18:08,885 --> 00:18:11,622 - I withdraw the question. - (laughs) 406 00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:13,260 So, hey, how are you? 407 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,392 Curious. What's Franklyn like? 408 00:18:15,392 --> 00:18:16,627 Che: My Franklyn? 409 00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:19,996 He's... a chill dude. 410 00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:22,503 - Carrie: How chill? - Che: Why? 411 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,206 I'm about to take your and my relationship 412 00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:30,974 to a very personal place. 413 00:18:30,974 --> 00:18:32,844 I just told you Miranda's strappin' on a dick. 414 00:18:32,844 --> 00:18:34,244 We're there. 415 00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:35,379 Put her on speaker. 416 00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:37,213 Oh, she wants me to put you on speaker. 417 00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:40,186 - Put her on speaker. - Okay, all right. 418 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,720 Okay... I'm sleeping with Franklyn. 419 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,322 - Miranda: Who's Franklyn? - Her podcast producer. 420 00:18:46,322 --> 00:18:49,860 Carrie, if you sleep with someone at work, you lose your power. 421 00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:51,428 Take her off speaker. 422 00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:54,093 You're out. Mm, get back to it. 423 00:18:54,093 --> 00:18:55,902 All right, all right. 424 00:18:56,135 --> 00:19:00,403 (sighs) So, you and Franklyn. I saw that coming. 425 00:19:00,403 --> 00:19:03,239 I didn't. Out of nowhere, we kissed in the elevator, 426 00:19:03,239 --> 00:19:05,875 and now we have sex every Thursday after the podcast. 427 00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:08,244 - Nice! - Carrie: No, it was until today. 428 00:19:08,244 --> 00:19:11,348 He invited me to a roof party with his friends... 429 00:19:11,348 --> 00:19:15,252 - and I said yes. - And that's a bad thing? 430 00:19:15,252 --> 00:19:16,786 I don't wanna take this to the roof. 431 00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:19,089 In fact, I don't wanna take this to any other level. 432 00:19:19,089 --> 00:19:24,461 I like this level. Thursday sex after the podcast. 433 00:19:24,461 --> 00:19:27,565 Right, so... why did you say yes to his invite? 434 00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:29,399 I'm pathologically polite. 435 00:19:29,399 --> 00:19:33,470 Okay, but... some relationships are just about sex. 436 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:35,267 And that's the, that's the primary dynamic, 437 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,540 which, which is awesome, 438 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,708 but then you have to keep it in the bedroom 439 00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,744 - and-- - And not the roof, right. 440 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:43,547 So, back to the original question, 441 00:19:43,547 --> 00:19:45,616 Franklyn, what's he like? Is he really chill 442 00:19:45,616 --> 00:19:48,218 or is he gonna get, like, you know... 443 00:19:48,218 --> 00:19:51,054 all emotional when I tell him I only want Thursdays with him? 444 00:19:51,054 --> 00:19:55,754 Carrie, truthfully, under all that chill, he's a dude... 445 00:19:55,754 --> 00:19:59,263 so... I have no idea what's up in that man head. 446 00:19:59,263 --> 00:20:02,299 All right. Thank you, then. Good night. 447 00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:03,167 Che: Good night. 448 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,037 (chuckles) 449 00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,669 Okay. (exhales) 450 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,742 Hey! What happened to penis-palooza? 451 00:20:11,742 --> 00:20:13,143 Nah. Show's over. 452 00:20:13,143 --> 00:20:14,811 - Aww. - I'm on Open Table. 453 00:20:14,811 --> 00:20:16,513 How about we get outta here, 454 00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:19,620 grab some dinner, and I come see your set? 455 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,648 Um, I'm still workin' out my new material. 456 00:20:23,648 --> 00:20:26,257 - Oh. - Well, maybe, maybe tomorrow night? 457 00:20:26,257 --> 00:20:29,129 - Definitely tomorrow night. - See? 458 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,832 - Dick implied. - (Miranda laughs) 459 00:20:35,069 --> 00:20:37,000 Good morning. 460 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,537 My son will be in town for one day next week. 461 00:20:40,537 --> 00:20:42,106 I want you to meet him. 462 00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:43,477 Really? 463 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,346 I'd like that. 464 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:51,918 So, lunch Monday. 465 00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:57,287 This Monday? 466 00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:59,389 Does it really come down to this? 467 00:20:59,389 --> 00:21:01,859 The man or the Met? 468 00:21:01,859 --> 00:21:03,960 Is the universe really that cruel? 469 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,997 Yes. The universe is a bitch. 470 00:21:05,997 --> 00:21:07,565 (all chuckling) 471 00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:10,468 (gasps) Oh, thank you. My purse was exhausted. 472 00:21:10,468 --> 00:21:12,535 - There you are. - Well, you know, 473 00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:15,038 you said you wanted your relationship to move forward, right? 474 00:21:15,038 --> 00:21:17,636 Yes, but this is like a sudden lurch forward. 475 00:21:17,636 --> 00:21:20,243 I've never even been to his place. My choice. 476 00:21:20,243 --> 00:21:22,713 But meeting his son will definitely get you closer. 477 00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:24,543 I'd be meeting his son and his ex-wife. 478 00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:26,584 She's invited, too, so I'll get to see 479 00:21:26,584 --> 00:21:28,585 how close we'll stay after our divorce. 480 00:21:28,585 --> 00:21:31,054 - So, you can't do both? - Seema: Oh, it's a European lunch. 481 00:21:31,054 --> 00:21:33,657 It could take a month. I mean, if I go to the Met, 482 00:21:33,657 --> 00:21:37,728 I'd have to be home with my glam squad by 2:30. 483 00:21:37,728 --> 00:21:39,863 2:30? I need a month. 484 00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:43,432 - You need two minutes. - Fuck, I can't come. 485 00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:45,235 - (Carrie groans) - There's just too much on the table. 486 00:21:45,235 --> 00:21:47,538 I'm sorry, Carrie. Now, you won't have someone gorgeous 487 00:21:47,538 --> 00:21:48,809 to go to the Met Ball with. 488 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,942 What about that gorgeous booty call guy Charlotte told me about? 489 00:21:51,942 --> 00:21:53,877 I never said booty call. 490 00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:57,248 - You have a booty call? - It's not a booty call. We work together. 491 00:21:57,248 --> 00:21:59,020 So, it's an actionable booty call? 492 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:02,956 She isn't ready to let someone in in a significant way. 493 00:22:04,124 --> 00:22:05,325 Where'd you get that from? 494 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,125 That's your response? Your-- (small squeaks) 495 00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:11,365 Okay. I-- Sorry. What is happening with you? 496 00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:17,634 Uh, I am having, um, "exit out of grief sex" every Thursday 497 00:22:17,634 --> 00:22:18,636 with a very nice man. 498 00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:19,870 He is nice, yes. 499 00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:22,901 Then, he asked me to go out with his friends 500 00:22:22,901 --> 00:22:26,977 on a Tuesday, and I felt like I had to say yes. 501 00:22:26,977 --> 00:22:29,980 - Just don't go. - O-O-Oh, okay. How? 502 00:22:29,980 --> 00:22:32,249 How do I tell him I don't wanna go out on Tuesday 503 00:22:32,249 --> 00:22:34,551 without seeming like a "See ya next Tuesday"? 504 00:22:34,551 --> 00:22:36,653 You're overthinking this. Men aren't that emotional. 505 00:22:36,653 --> 00:22:38,655 Just tell him you changed your mind. He'll handle it. 506 00:22:38,655 --> 00:22:41,492 - Okay. - Last week, I was down on my knees 507 00:22:41,492 --> 00:22:44,160 blowin' this cute nurse practitioner, 508 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,096 and I feel a tap, tap, tap on my head. 509 00:22:46,096 --> 00:22:49,098 I look up and he says he thought he was gonna be into it, 510 00:22:49,098 --> 00:22:51,401 - but he changed his mind. - Oh, my God. 511 00:22:51,401 --> 00:22:54,071 - What did you do next? - No "oh, my God," no "drama." 512 00:22:54,071 --> 00:22:56,272 I took it like a man. I got up, got dressed, 513 00:22:56,272 --> 00:22:58,642 went home, ate a box of Fiddle Faddle and I'm fine. 514 00:22:58,642 --> 00:22:59,747 (all chuckling) 515 00:23:00,013 --> 00:23:02,446 Well... tap, tap, tap. 516 00:23:02,446 --> 00:23:03,747 What does that mean? 517 00:23:03,747 --> 00:23:06,516 It means that due to circumstances 518 00:23:06,516 --> 00:23:07,984 beyond my control, 519 00:23:07,984 --> 00:23:11,087 I have to take Harry to the Met Ball instead of you. 520 00:23:11,087 --> 00:23:13,191 - What?! - He already bought a top hat, 521 00:23:13,191 --> 00:23:14,992 and he never got to go to his prom 522 00:23:14,992 --> 00:23:16,527 because he had Epstein-Barr. 523 00:23:16,527 --> 00:23:18,995 So?! I had Lyme disease for five months. 524 00:23:18,995 --> 00:23:20,531 Did I throw you from a speeding car? 525 00:23:20,531 --> 00:23:22,131 - No! - But we're married. 526 00:23:22,131 --> 00:23:24,602 I can't take my best gay friend over my husband. 527 00:23:24,602 --> 00:23:26,803 Oh, okay. I didn't know you were on the Supreme Court. 528 00:23:26,803 --> 00:23:29,276 All right, simmer down, simmer down. 529 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,375 You can be my plus-one. 530 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:34,812 See?! Yes! Yes! You can go with Carrie. 531 00:23:34,812 --> 00:23:36,216 Well... 532 00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:39,716 - I'll consider it. - Oh, thank you. 533 00:23:39,716 --> 00:23:42,786 (mellow music playing) 534 00:23:42,786 --> 00:23:44,825 (indistinct chatter) 535 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,863 Bartender, I'll have what she's reading. 536 00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:52,566 Such focus. 537 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:55,999 - Must be absorbing. - Well, Skip Gates always is, 538 00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:58,302 um, but since I'm on my second glass of Malbec, 539 00:23:58,302 --> 00:24:00,637 I'm having a hard time concentrating. 540 00:24:00,637 --> 00:24:02,672 Well, you're finding your roots over a glass of wine. 541 00:24:02,672 --> 00:24:06,009 - That's, that's a challenge. - (both laughing) 542 00:24:06,009 --> 00:24:08,515 - How was your dinner? - It was wonderful. 543 00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:11,952 I'd love to join you for dessert, but, uh-- 544 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:13,620 But? 545 00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:17,021 You're using your purse as a rampart. 546 00:24:17,021 --> 00:24:19,483 Oh, (laughs) okay. 547 00:24:19,483 --> 00:24:22,726 - It's alright. I think there's a hook here somewhere. - I'll put it right here. 548 00:24:22,726 --> 00:24:23,864 There you go. 549 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:29,235 - I'm Toussaint. - Yes, you are. (chuckles) 550 00:24:30,037 --> 00:24:31,872 - I'm Nya. - Nya. 551 00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:34,340 Beautiful name. 552 00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,674 Have you tried the molten chocolate cake here? 553 00:24:37,674 --> 00:24:40,313 It will make you see the face of God. 554 00:24:41,381 --> 00:24:43,047 I believe it will. 555 00:24:43,047 --> 00:24:44,581 And I do love chocolate, 556 00:24:44,581 --> 00:24:46,086 - but, uh... - Hmm. 557 00:24:47,254 --> 00:24:48,952 I'm on kind of a diet. 558 00:24:48,952 --> 00:24:51,855 Oh... I didn't know you had to give up chocolate 559 00:24:51,855 --> 00:24:53,190 once you got married. 560 00:24:53,190 --> 00:24:54,886 - You do. - Really? 561 00:24:54,886 --> 00:24:58,098 - No wonder I'm still single. - (Nya laughs) 562 00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:00,932 I was too busy looking in these deep brown eyes. 563 00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:02,400 I didn't clock the ring. 564 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,934 My apologies. 565 00:25:03,934 --> 00:25:08,872 I will make sure your, uh, fortress is secure. 566 00:25:08,872 --> 00:25:10,310 Nice to meet you, Nya. 567 00:25:11,411 --> 00:25:13,447 ♪ ♪ 568 00:25:18,785 --> 00:25:20,484 Bartender: You good, ma'am? 569 00:25:20,484 --> 00:25:22,453 I'll have another Malbec. 570 00:25:22,453 --> 00:25:25,322 - (audience laughing) - Ah, man. 571 00:25:25,322 --> 00:25:30,364 I am so lazy in LA. No one walks anywhere. 572 00:25:30,597 --> 00:25:32,763 You know? It's like yesterday I took an Uber 573 00:25:32,763 --> 00:25:35,299 - from my bathroom to my bedroom. - (audience laughs) 574 00:25:35,299 --> 00:25:37,768 Yeah. And it was way too expensive. 575 00:25:37,768 --> 00:25:42,473 Um... (laughs) and that is my time. 576 00:25:42,473 --> 00:25:43,607 Thank you so much, everybody. 577 00:25:43,607 --> 00:25:45,742 You've been so great. Thank you. 578 00:25:45,742 --> 00:25:48,112 (cheering, whistling) 579 00:25:48,112 --> 00:25:49,817 - Hey, my man! - Heeey! 580 00:25:50,550 --> 00:25:54,488 Che Diaz, everybody! Che Diaz! Yeah! 581 00:25:55,021 --> 00:25:57,854 Out here in LA filming their TV pilot. 582 00:25:57,854 --> 00:26:02,493 - Hey, Che, any part for a white guy? - (audience laughing) 583 00:26:02,493 --> 00:26:04,565 (indistinct chatter) 584 00:26:04,999 --> 00:26:05,999 (Miranda exhales sharply) 585 00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:10,336 (sighs) You were so good! 586 00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:12,003 Nope. 587 00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:13,537 Don't, don't hug me. 588 00:26:13,537 --> 00:26:15,372 What's wrong? 589 00:26:15,372 --> 00:26:17,038 I just-- You surprised me. 590 00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:20,681 - I'm at work. (chuckles) - Oh. 591 00:26:23,149 --> 00:26:24,785 You were so good. 592 00:26:25,385 --> 00:26:29,887 ("Give a Little" by Ego Ella May playing) 593 00:26:29,887 --> 00:26:35,792 - ♪ Yet I still end up on my arse ♪ - (FaceTime ringing) 594 00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:39,163 ♪ But something's got to give a little ♪ 595 00:26:39,163 --> 00:26:41,465 (FaceTime beeping) 596 00:26:41,465 --> 00:26:42,899 ♪ Give a little ♪ 597 00:26:42,899 --> 00:26:44,635 - (phone line ringing) - Andre Rashad (on phone): Hey. 598 00:26:44,635 --> 00:26:46,703 Hey, Andre. Turn on your FaceTime. 599 00:26:46,703 --> 00:26:48,907 Andre: We're talkin' now. We don't need to FaceTime, babe. 600 00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:51,945 No. No, we do. 601 00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,911 I wanna FaceTime with you 'cause I wanna show you something 602 00:26:54,911 --> 00:26:59,250 that's not my face. (chuckles) 603 00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:01,719 Turn it on! Turn it on now. 604 00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:02,623 (chuckles) 605 00:27:02,889 --> 00:27:05,126 What's up? Isn't it late there? 606 00:27:05,558 --> 00:27:09,059 I miss you, baby. Know what else misses you? 607 00:27:09,059 --> 00:27:11,562 Not my face. 608 00:27:11,562 --> 00:27:13,264 (chuckles) 609 00:27:13,264 --> 00:27:14,665 I'm wearin' those panties you like. 610 00:27:14,665 --> 00:27:16,266 You know, the ones with the clit beads? 611 00:27:16,266 --> 00:27:17,901 Babe, no, don't put the phone down there. 612 00:27:17,901 --> 00:27:19,403 - I'ma put it down there, baby. - Nya, stop! 613 00:27:19,403 --> 00:27:20,741 Stop. I'm, I'm not alone. 614 00:27:21,274 --> 00:27:23,840 What you mean you're not alone? 615 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,877 Who's there with you? Show me who's there. 616 00:27:26,877 --> 00:27:31,048 ♪ Give a little, I know ♪ 617 00:27:31,048 --> 00:27:32,549 Who the hell is that in a hat? 618 00:27:32,549 --> 00:27:34,418 It's not like that, Nye. 619 00:27:34,418 --> 00:27:37,521 That's Heidi, a, a backup singer. 620 00:27:37,521 --> 00:27:39,022 I'm helpin' her write songs. 621 00:27:39,022 --> 00:27:40,885 Oh, you're helping Heidi-in-a-hat 622 00:27:40,885 --> 00:27:42,726 write songs in your hotel room?! 623 00:27:42,726 --> 00:27:47,431 We're just writing songs, and it's 9:30 here. 624 00:27:47,431 --> 00:27:48,698 We're fully dressed. 625 00:27:48,698 --> 00:27:50,468 I wish I had known that we were allowed 626 00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:53,598 to write songs with other people... 627 00:27:53,598 --> 00:27:55,806 because tonight... 628 00:27:55,806 --> 00:28:00,578 I had the chance to write a song with a super fine man. 629 00:28:00,578 --> 00:28:03,246 - It's not like that. - Feels like it is! 630 00:28:03,246 --> 00:28:06,717 And if right now was a song I was writing... 631 00:28:06,717 --> 00:28:08,585 it would be a breakup song. 632 00:28:08,585 --> 00:28:14,125 So, goodbye, Andre Rashad and Little Miss Hipster Heidi. 633 00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:16,196 ♪ ♪ 634 00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:22,332 ♪ Yeah, something’s got to give a little ♪ 635 00:28:22,332 --> 00:28:24,371 Fuck around and find out. 636 00:28:26,172 --> 00:28:29,306 - (knocks on door) - Carrie: Coming! 637 00:28:29,306 --> 00:28:30,574 - (Jackie laughing) - Hello! 638 00:28:30,574 --> 00:28:32,175 Here we are! 639 00:28:32,175 --> 00:28:35,011 - That is a stunning kimono! - Oh, thank you. 640 00:28:35,011 --> 00:28:37,681 My, my friend Stanford sent it to me from Japan. 641 00:28:37,681 --> 00:28:40,954 Come in, come in! (gasps, cheers) 642 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,491 - I-- - Carrie: This is very exciting. 643 00:28:45,058 --> 00:28:47,191 I'm not worried. We can do this. 644 00:28:47,191 --> 00:28:49,993 Not worried about what? What can we do? 645 00:28:49,993 --> 00:28:52,529 So, my seamstress has a stomach flu. 646 00:28:52,529 --> 00:28:54,464 - Oh no. - So I had to use a new seamstress... 647 00:28:54,464 --> 00:28:57,635 - Oh. - ...and she also got the stomach flu. 648 00:28:57,635 --> 00:29:00,036 There's a seamstress stomach flu? 649 00:29:00,036 --> 00:29:02,506 - It is all over the city. - The seamstresses have the flu, 650 00:29:02,506 --> 00:29:04,608 but I got lattes, y'all. 651 00:29:04,608 --> 00:29:06,377 But the cape is totally done. 652 00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:09,282 - Totally. - So it's only the dress. 653 00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:12,683 O-Okay, so what still needs to be done on the dress? 654 00:29:12,683 --> 00:29:14,354 All the final fit work. 655 00:29:15,655 --> 00:29:16,757 Oh, my God. 656 00:29:21,060 --> 00:29:23,995 - Dude, that's too small. - I know that, bitch. 657 00:29:23,995 --> 00:29:26,530 Carrie: Um, now what? 658 00:29:26,530 --> 00:29:29,800 Um... that new seamstress totally fucked this up... 659 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,170 - Fucked it up. - ...but we have six hours. 660 00:29:33,170 --> 00:29:35,472 I can open up the back. 661 00:29:35,472 --> 00:29:37,711 - Yeah, take it off. - Yeah, open it. 662 00:29:38,711 --> 00:29:39,710 Carrie: How? 663 00:29:39,710 --> 00:29:42,179 (sewing machine whirring) 664 00:29:42,179 --> 00:29:45,218 (anticipatory music playing) 665 00:29:53,693 --> 00:29:54,728 Oh, my God. 666 00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,565 Hey, can you check again? 667 00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:01,665 Jackie, just sit the fuck back down! 668 00:30:01,665 --> 00:30:03,500 I told you not to come out here again! 669 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,403 Makes me nervous. Seriously? 670 00:30:06,403 --> 00:30:07,908 My bad. 671 00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,175 Weird. 672 00:30:12,175 --> 00:30:14,205 I smell Franklyn from the old podcast. 673 00:30:14,205 --> 00:30:17,714 That expensive man perfume he wears sometimes. 674 00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:21,384 Yeah, he left his jacket here. 675 00:30:21,384 --> 00:30:24,658 But why would Franklyn's jacket be in your bedroom? 676 00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:26,523 Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. 677 00:30:26,523 --> 00:30:27,891 Are you and Franklyn dating? 678 00:30:27,891 --> 00:30:29,059 Is he your date to this thing? 679 00:30:29,059 --> 00:30:30,594 That is so adorbs. 680 00:30:30,594 --> 00:30:32,062 Said with no irony at all. 681 00:30:32,062 --> 00:30:34,092 It's not adorbs. We're not dating. 682 00:30:34,092 --> 00:30:36,400 We just hook up after the podcast. 683 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,935 So, you're not taking him to this? 684 00:30:37,935 --> 00:30:39,636 No, it's not like that. 685 00:30:39,636 --> 00:30:42,303 We're, um, we're not a couple. 686 00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,610 Does he know that? 'Cause men are dumb. 687 00:30:46,610 --> 00:30:48,077 It's just sex. 688 00:30:48,077 --> 00:30:50,214 Carrie Bradshaw, the world has changed 689 00:30:50,214 --> 00:30:51,748 since you've been out there, okay? 690 00:30:51,748 --> 00:30:54,618 It's not alright to objectify people anymore. 691 00:30:54,618 --> 00:30:56,653 Men have feelings, too. 692 00:30:56,653 --> 00:30:58,917 So, to sum it up... 693 00:30:58,917 --> 00:31:01,225 men are dumb with feelings. 694 00:31:01,225 --> 00:31:03,427 - Exactly. - Gotcha. 695 00:31:03,427 --> 00:31:04,465 Yeah. 696 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:11,669 - How's it going? - I still have four hours. Yeah. 697 00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:12,636 Yeah. 698 00:31:12,636 --> 00:31:14,675 (sewing machine whirring) 699 00:31:19,212 --> 00:31:22,412 Miranda: Oh. The Colosseum. 700 00:31:22,412 --> 00:31:24,515 Brady and Louisa look so cute. 701 00:31:24,515 --> 00:31:27,187 (Che softly reciting lines) 702 00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:34,728 Um, I'm, I'm kind of learning my lines. 703 00:31:35,462 --> 00:31:36,659 (sighs) (softly) You're acting like a-- 704 00:31:36,892 --> 00:31:38,899 (continues reciting) 705 00:31:43,170 --> 00:31:45,269 Something is different. 706 00:31:45,269 --> 00:31:47,908 You don't want me to hold you lately. 707 00:31:49,742 --> 00:31:51,645 Is there something you're not telling me? 708 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:56,417 Yeah. 709 00:32:02,722 --> 00:32:04,925 Okay. I, uh... 710 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:10,027 I have something that I've been... 711 00:32:10,027 --> 00:32:14,835 afraid to tell you because of how you'll feel about me after. 712 00:32:16,036 --> 00:32:17,237 Um... 713 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,799 okay. 714 00:32:19,799 --> 00:32:20,907 (clicks tongue) 715 00:32:21,841 --> 00:32:23,510 I'm on a diet. (sighs) 716 00:32:24,410 --> 00:32:25,479 What? 717 00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:27,544 Um, the costume department said 718 00:32:27,544 --> 00:32:29,979 (voice breaking) that my belly hangs over my jeans... 719 00:32:29,979 --> 00:32:33,583 and that's, that's why I keep pushing your arms away. 720 00:32:33,583 --> 00:32:35,919 I was afraid to tell you 'cause I don't want you 721 00:32:35,919 --> 00:32:37,822 to think of me as this person. 722 00:32:37,822 --> 00:32:39,222 Fuck! 723 00:32:39,222 --> 00:32:41,358 God, after everything I've been through, 724 00:32:41,358 --> 00:32:43,594 I let this bullshit still get to me. 725 00:32:43,594 --> 00:32:46,633 (melancholy music playing) 726 00:32:47,867 --> 00:32:50,571 - (exhales) - Can I hold you? 727 00:32:52,606 --> 00:32:53,435 Mm-hmm. 728 00:33:01,347 --> 00:33:02,282 (Che sighs) 729 00:33:05,284 --> 00:33:08,922 Can I tell you something that I was afraid to tell you? 730 00:33:09,423 --> 00:33:10,624 Mm-hmm. 731 00:33:14,494 --> 00:33:16,392 I thought... 732 00:33:16,392 --> 00:33:20,297 that you thought that our relationship was just sexual... 733 00:33:20,297 --> 00:33:22,300 and I made a mistake coming to LA 734 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,571 and taking it out of the bedroom. 735 00:33:27,474 --> 00:33:29,471 No, it was about the jeans. 736 00:33:30,343 --> 00:33:31,578 Che... 737 00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:38,415 you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. 738 00:33:38,415 --> 00:33:41,455 (Che breathes deeply) 739 00:33:45,458 --> 00:33:48,095 - You know what? - What? 740 00:33:48,962 --> 00:33:51,595 I am the most beautiful person you've ever seen. 741 00:33:51,595 --> 00:33:53,634 (both laughing) 742 00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:56,400 So, fuck TV. 743 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,439 - (gasps) Let's get a pizza. - Yeah. 744 00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:00,770 (Che sighs) 745 00:34:00,770 --> 00:34:04,308 - But thin crust, right? - You bitch. 746 00:34:04,308 --> 00:34:06,346 (both laughing) 747 00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:09,913 Hey, it's Carrie. You got a minute? 748 00:34:09,913 --> 00:34:11,749 Franklyn: Sure. What's up? 749 00:34:11,749 --> 00:34:15,453 Well, in case you were worried, um... 750 00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:16,988 you left your jacket here. 751 00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:18,655 Oh, okay, well, 752 00:34:18,655 --> 00:34:20,522 I'll pick it up when I get you on Tuesday. 753 00:34:20,994 --> 00:34:22,793 Also... 754 00:34:22,793 --> 00:34:27,997 I... changed my mind about the bourbon roof party on Tuesday. 755 00:34:27,997 --> 00:34:31,335 Is it the bourbon or the roof? 756 00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:33,039 It's the Tuesday. 757 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:37,941 I think I'm only ready for Thursdays with us. 758 00:34:37,941 --> 00:34:42,313 Got it. You're not ready to... book a table at Relationship Place. 759 00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:43,847 (chuckles) Yeah. 760 00:34:43,847 --> 00:34:47,218 But I'm really happy with the takeout. 761 00:34:47,218 --> 00:34:48,619 If you're okay with that. 762 00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:50,654 Thursdays it is. 763 00:34:50,654 --> 00:34:52,556 Okay... Bye. 764 00:34:52,556 --> 00:34:54,595 (door buzzing) 765 00:34:58,330 --> 00:35:00,100 Cosmetologist (through intercom): It's us! 766 00:35:01,901 --> 00:35:04,035 - That'd be hair and makeup. - Smoke: Mm. 767 00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:05,469 Carrie: How's it coming? 768 00:35:05,469 --> 00:35:08,509 Um... do you have a Band-Aid? (chuckles) 769 00:35:09,209 --> 00:35:10,210 Uh-huh. 770 00:35:11,411 --> 00:35:12,246 Oh, my God. 771 00:35:13,112 --> 00:35:15,346 I can't even imagine the headspace you have to get in 772 00:35:15,346 --> 00:35:17,047 to go to work every day. 773 00:35:17,047 --> 00:35:18,915 Cyril: Yeah, my job is a lot of pressure, 774 00:35:18,915 --> 00:35:20,351 but then, so is yours, right? 775 00:35:20,351 --> 00:35:22,051 Actually, I think real estate may be 776 00:35:22,051 --> 00:35:23,887 a little more stressful, Cyril. 777 00:35:23,887 --> 00:35:26,489 You only risk your life deactivating explosives, 778 00:35:26,489 --> 00:35:29,227 whereas I have to take pretentious New Yorkers out to lunch. 779 00:35:29,227 --> 00:35:31,264 (all chuckling) 780 00:35:32,766 --> 00:35:34,598 - Big shot and I are going for a smoke. - Cyril: Mm-hmm. 781 00:35:34,598 --> 00:35:35,866 Zed: Victoire, get the check, 782 00:35:35,866 --> 00:35:38,069 and then we'll go to Brooklyn for baklavas. 783 00:35:38,069 --> 00:35:38,939 Cyril: Mm-hmm. 784 00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:41,905 (Zed speaking foreign language) 785 00:35:41,905 --> 00:35:46,379 - I'm not a fan of baklava or Brooklyn. - (both chuckling) 786 00:35:47,412 --> 00:35:50,714 So, Victoire... when is the last time you saw each other? 787 00:35:50,714 --> 00:35:52,583 This morning, at home. 788 00:35:52,583 --> 00:35:54,517 No, sorry. I meant Zed. 789 00:35:54,517 --> 00:35:56,453 - Yes, this morning at home. - Server: Whenever you're ready. 790 00:35:56,453 --> 00:35:57,791 He's still living in my house. 791 00:35:58,425 --> 00:35:59,523 Oh. 792 00:35:59,523 --> 00:36:02,429 ("Double Back" by Coco Jones playing) 793 00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:05,096 - (phone ringing) - Ooh, ooh. 794 00:36:05,096 --> 00:36:06,297 - Oh, okay. - Sorry. 795 00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:08,935 - Thank you. - We'll put that here. (grunts) 796 00:36:10,337 --> 00:36:12,769 Hi, Seema. How's lunch? 797 00:36:12,769 --> 00:36:15,872 I'm coming. He still lives with his ex-wife. 798 00:36:15,872 --> 00:36:17,408 I may be 20 minutes late. 799 00:36:17,408 --> 00:36:19,977 Oh, well, uh, I may be a day late. 800 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:22,579 I'm-- (softly) I'm having a bit of a dress issue. 801 00:36:22,579 --> 00:36:24,809 - Sorry 'bout that. - No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. 802 00:36:24,809 --> 00:36:27,454 - I'll just-- I'll keep you posted, okay? - Okay, babe. 803 00:36:30,090 --> 00:36:32,092 Don't get out, Rocco, no time. 804 00:36:33,460 --> 00:36:35,158 What's up, boss? 805 00:36:35,158 --> 00:36:37,595 - Where are you going? - To my home... 806 00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:39,763 which I don't live in with my ex-wife. 807 00:36:39,763 --> 00:36:41,332 She has the top two floors. 808 00:36:41,332 --> 00:36:43,567 I'm on the first. Separate entrance. 809 00:36:43,567 --> 00:36:45,302 Well, this feels like a mess, 810 00:36:45,302 --> 00:36:47,504 and I'm not missing the Met for a mess. 811 00:36:47,504 --> 00:36:50,975 - You're such an American. - Yes, I'm an American. 812 00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:52,312 No secret there. 813 00:36:52,846 --> 00:36:54,047 Seema! 814 00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:58,514 (phone buzzing) 815 00:36:58,514 --> 00:37:01,985 (imitating Marilyn) Hello. This is your male escort and I will be putting out. 816 00:37:01,985 --> 00:37:04,591 Unfortunately, you will not. 817 00:37:04,891 --> 00:37:07,124 - What? - Tap, tap, tap. 818 00:37:07,124 --> 00:37:11,027 - Seema's back in. - You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 819 00:37:11,027 --> 00:37:15,164 I'm sorry, but she needs the Met more. 820 00:37:15,164 --> 00:37:18,002 - You'll get over it. You're a man. - Says who?! 821 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,003 Carrie: Says you. 822 00:37:20,003 --> 00:37:23,707 - You okay? - When did my life become seventh grade gym class again? 823 00:37:23,707 --> 00:37:25,379 Don't have fun. 824 00:37:30,016 --> 00:37:33,484 Huh. Oh, that's hot as all get out. 825 00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:35,522 I get so-- Ugh. (sighs) 826 00:37:40,588 --> 00:37:43,560 Baby... your shoulders feel like iron. 827 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,729 What's goin' on up here? 828 00:37:45,729 --> 00:37:47,797 The Avid crashed when I was getting my makeup done 829 00:37:47,797 --> 00:37:50,834 and I lost all the work I did on my edit today. 830 00:37:50,834 --> 00:37:53,336 That's what's going on up there. 831 00:37:53,336 --> 00:37:58,141 - Look, you are about to have a very big night. - Yeah. 832 00:37:58,141 --> 00:38:01,679 And you're always doing everything for all of us. 833 00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:05,719 Why don't you let me... do that thing... 834 00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:09,587 - (Lisa moans) - that I do... that relaxes you? 835 00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:12,056 Sweetie, we, we don't have time. 836 00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:14,358 Herbert: Hmm, hmm, hmm. 837 00:38:14,358 --> 00:38:18,261 Okay, fine... but I am ready from the waist up. 838 00:38:18,261 --> 00:38:22,266 - Nothing can get smeared or messed. - Got it. 839 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:24,304 - Only from the waist down. - Yeah. 840 00:38:26,439 --> 00:38:28,873 And my editor's gonna send the new cut in, like, 10 minutes. 841 00:38:28,873 --> 00:38:30,174 I only need eight. 842 00:38:30,174 --> 00:38:31,412 Have a seat. 843 00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:39,183 - I just feel like I should be double-checking something. - Lis... 844 00:38:39,183 --> 00:38:40,921 you're cuttin' into my eight. 845 00:38:41,922 --> 00:38:43,854 Tighter, baby. 846 00:38:43,854 --> 00:38:45,756 (grunts) It won't go any tighter. 847 00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:48,925 It has to! We've gotta work on your upper body strength. 848 00:38:48,925 --> 00:38:51,128 Rock, please, come help your sister. 849 00:38:51,128 --> 00:38:53,431 I won't be party to upholding the patriarchy 850 00:38:53,431 --> 00:38:55,566 and the heteronormative standards of beauty. 851 00:38:55,566 --> 00:38:58,134 I totally understand and applaud... 852 00:38:58,134 --> 00:39:00,772 but just for today, come help your sister. 853 00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,443 Take them! 854 00:39:03,410 --> 00:39:05,242 - Take these. - Okay. (inhales) 855 00:39:05,242 --> 00:39:07,877 Ow, these boots are kinda pinchin' me. 856 00:39:07,877 --> 00:39:09,479 Welcome to fashion, Harry. 857 00:39:09,479 --> 00:39:10,651 Lily: Ready, Rock? 858 00:39:11,085 --> 00:39:13,150 - Ow. - Ooh! Good, good. 859 00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:16,189 (upbeat music playing) 860 00:39:18,525 --> 00:39:20,658 What is with this train? 861 00:39:20,658 --> 00:39:23,530 - This is crazy. - It's not crazy. 862 00:39:24,164 --> 00:39:25,966 It's Valentino. 863 00:39:28,468 --> 00:39:30,901 Where's the van? Where's the Sprinter? 864 00:39:30,901 --> 00:39:35,339 (gasps) That's what I forgot, to confirm the van. 865 00:39:35,339 --> 00:39:37,241 - Oh, my God. - How could you forget that? 866 00:39:37,241 --> 00:39:39,438 Ugh. Well, I was having an orgasm, 867 00:39:39,438 --> 00:39:40,744 which you said was for me, 868 00:39:40,744 --> 00:39:42,783 but typically, it was all about you. 869 00:39:44,018 --> 00:39:45,749 - Oh. - Well, now what? 870 00:39:45,749 --> 00:39:47,751 Back to me, of course. I don't know. 871 00:39:47,751 --> 00:39:49,787 This can't fit in a cab. There's no limos available, 872 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:52,756 so let's scoop this baby up and walk. 873 00:39:52,756 --> 00:39:54,625 You wanna walk 10 blocks? 874 00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:57,261 Ya had to have your eight minutes, 875 00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,929 you can walk 10 blocks. 876 00:39:58,929 --> 00:40:00,531 Oh, it was worth it, baby. Wasn't it? 877 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:02,833 'Cause it was good. You know it was good. 878 00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:06,407 I don't know if it was "walk to the Met" good, but it was good. 879 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:11,008 - Herbert: Oh, okay. Can you see in that thing? - Lisa: Who needs to see? 880 00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:14,845 {\an8}("So We Won't Forget" by Khruangbin & Mang Dynasty playing) 881 00:40:14,845 --> 00:40:17,448 {\an8}♪ Call me what you want ♪ 882 00:40:17,448 --> 00:40:21,988 ♪ Call me what you need ♪ 883 00:40:23,055 --> 00:40:26,690 Whew... is fashion always this hot? 884 00:40:26,690 --> 00:40:28,692 Harry, stop kvetching. 885 00:40:28,692 --> 00:40:32,663 Aye, and these boots are really gonna hurt goin' up all those stairs. 886 00:40:32,663 --> 00:40:34,230 Well, good news. 887 00:40:34,230 --> 00:40:36,966 Those stairs are only for celebrities, not for us. 888 00:40:36,966 --> 00:40:40,671 So... no one at work is gonna see me on TV? 889 00:40:40,671 --> 00:40:43,307 And where am I gonna get my picture with Rihanna? 890 00:40:43,307 --> 00:40:45,378 Honey, you probably won't. 891 00:40:45,778 --> 00:40:49,312 What? So, no stairs, no Rihanna. 892 00:40:49,312 --> 00:40:51,382 Why'd I even wanna go to this thing in the first place? 893 00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:53,918 I have been asking myself that all week! 894 00:40:53,918 --> 00:40:55,490 What does that mean? 895 00:40:56,089 --> 00:40:58,388 Announcer 1 (on laptop): Fully embracing the "Veiled Beauty" theme... 896 00:40:58,388 --> 00:41:01,091 -"Veiled Beauty"? How 'bout "Veiled Beast"? - (phone ringing) 897 00:41:01,091 --> 00:41:04,093 Announcer 2 (on laptop): Arriving on the legendary Met stairs is always... 898 00:41:04,093 --> 00:41:05,729 I hope you're havin' the worst time of your life. 899 00:41:05,729 --> 00:41:08,265 Anthony?! I've made a terrible mistake. 900 00:41:08,265 --> 00:41:10,037 Please, please, come with me. 901 00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:13,837 - I'm back in? - Yes, if you'll have me. How soon can you be ready? 902 00:41:13,837 --> 00:41:17,007 - Yesterday! - Okay, great. I'll pick you up in 20. 903 00:41:17,007 --> 00:41:20,246 Okay, bye! I'm goin' to the Met Ball! 904 00:41:22,315 --> 00:41:24,048 Juan Jose: Ah, this is so great. 905 00:41:24,048 --> 00:41:26,283 Seema, this is fantastic. 906 00:41:26,283 --> 00:41:27,751 You look amazing. 907 00:41:27,751 --> 00:41:29,453 Amore, this is so beautiful. 908 00:41:29,453 --> 00:41:30,554 Juan Jose. 909 00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:32,690 Amore, I wanna take a little video. 910 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:34,524 Right there. 911 00:41:34,524 --> 00:41:36,958 Oh! Anna is going to love it. 912 00:41:37,965 --> 00:41:39,964 This is really divine. 913 00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:41,765 Amore, you look beautiful. 914 00:41:41,765 --> 00:41:43,400 I love you all so much. 915 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:44,671 Juan Jose: Guys, we killed it! 916 00:41:45,738 --> 00:41:46,904 Bye! Ciao! 917 00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:49,943 (anxious music playing) 918 00:41:53,613 --> 00:41:54,778 Looks good, babe. 919 00:41:54,778 --> 00:41:56,245 No. No, it doesn't. 920 00:41:56,245 --> 00:41:57,814 It's supposed to be fucking sickening tight 921 00:41:57,814 --> 00:41:59,853 to show off her kick-ass body. 922 00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:03,921 - You still have a half-hour. - (yells) Jackie, this isn't some "Cinderella" shit! 923 00:42:03,921 --> 00:42:06,457 This is my life! There aren't any magic birds or fairies 924 00:42:06,457 --> 00:42:07,491 who are gonna pull this together, 925 00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:10,364 so just shut the fuck up, please! 926 00:42:11,065 --> 00:42:12,398 (Smoke sighs) 927 00:42:12,998 --> 00:42:15,301 I think I need a "Smoke" break. 928 00:42:23,476 --> 00:42:26,076 Uh, Carrie, I'm, I'm so sorry. 929 00:42:26,076 --> 00:42:27,978 - No. - You can't wear this. 930 00:42:27,978 --> 00:42:30,513 I, I mean, my career will be over before it even starts. 931 00:42:30,513 --> 00:42:34,185 Um, you must have something else fabulous to, to wear with my cape? 932 00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:35,055 (shaky breath) 933 00:42:35,688 --> 00:42:36,891 Wait. I-- 934 00:42:37,557 --> 00:42:41,291 I can't just go to my closet and find a perfect dress 935 00:42:41,291 --> 00:42:45,331 to wear to something called "Veiled Beauty." I-- 936 00:42:48,201 --> 00:42:49,636 Wait a minute, um... 937 00:42:52,805 --> 00:42:54,438 I might have something. 938 00:42:54,438 --> 00:42:56,373 (light music playing) 939 00:42:56,373 --> 00:42:58,039 I don't know. Maybe. 940 00:42:58,845 --> 00:43:01,345 I've only worn it once. 941 00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:03,384 It's not the best memory. 942 00:43:04,885 --> 00:43:06,887 ♪ ♪ 943 00:43:18,398 --> 00:43:21,062 (music intensifies) 944 00:43:27,674 --> 00:43:29,676 ♪ ♪ 945 00:43:36,916 --> 00:43:41,956 And just like that, I repurposed my pain. 946 00:43:42,722 --> 00:43:46,056 ("Hong Kong Garden" by Siouxsie and the Banshees playing) 947 00:43:46,056 --> 00:43:49,359 ♪ Symbols clashing everywhere ♪ 948 00:43:49,359 --> 00:43:52,663 ♪ Reaps the fields of rice and reeds ♪ 949 00:43:52,663 --> 00:43:55,932 ♪ While the population feeds ♪ 950 00:43:55,932 --> 00:43:59,002 ♪ Junk floats on polluted water ♪ 951 00:43:59,002 --> 00:44:02,439 ♪ An old custom to sell your daughter ♪ 952 00:44:02,439 --> 00:44:05,676 ♪ Would you like number twenty-three? ♪ 953 00:44:05,676 --> 00:44:09,315 ♪ Leave your yens on the counter please ♪ 954 00:44:12,252 --> 00:44:15,452 ♪ Ho-oh, ho-oh-oh-oh ♪ 955 00:44:15,452 --> 00:44:18,783 ♪ Hong Kong Garden ♪ 956 00:44:18,783 --> 00:44:22,059 ♪ Ho-oh, ho-oh-oh-oh ♪ 957 00:44:22,059 --> 00:44:26,097 ♪ Hong Kong Garden ♪ 958 00:44:26,097 --> 00:44:29,002 ♪ ♪ 959 00:44:55,029 --> 00:44:57,998 (gong clangs, song fades)